This story is a little sad I'm afraid. It belongs to my Out Of the Blue/Into the Light Universe, and follows on a few months after the story Baby. This is an attempt to get my creative juices flowing again. You'll have to let me know how I did. Next story will be happier. Promise!

Alan sat on a large rock, his knees drawn up to his chin, staring out over the ocean. His mind a stunned blank, his emotions running riot. His face was grey and blotchy, tear tracks still marked his cheeks. His heart seemed to have sunk into the deepest pit of his stomach.

Although his eyes were open, he was seeing nothing. He was remembering. Snatches of moments from the last two years flashed before him over and over, like a stuck record.

Sonia was laughing at him, covered in mud from head to foot where he had fallen into a bog whilst on honeymoon. He had chased her round and round and when he caught her had thrown his muddy arms around her, despite her screeching, and hugged her fiercely, covering her in mud as well. They had finished up both covered in mud and giggling helplessly.

They were sitting side by side on the balcony outside their rooms, watching the sun setting huge and red over the horizon, listening to Virgil's triplets laughing with their uncle Gordon down in the swimming pool. Sonia had leant into him and whispered to him a secret that had left him stunned…before sweeping her into his arms; "Darling, I have some news for you. We're having a baby."

Alan recalled how delighted his family had been when they had learned their news. His brothers' wives, Penny, Kayo, Isla and Amelia had taken her to the mainland to shop for maternity clothes. Sonia had returned glowing, looking forward to becoming a mother herself.

Sonia had thoroughly enjoyed being pregnant. Her role as a nurse for IR had not been greatly affected, and she had enjoyed watching her nephews and nieces playing, knowing that soon she would have a little one of her own to join them.

Alan buried his face into his updrawn knees and squeezed his eyes shut. This had to have been all a bad dream, surely? The events of the day swirling in his head.

Sonia's sudden agonizing stomach pain, massive blood loss. It had been the first time he had ever truly seen his grandmother panic. That had truly scared him. With his brothers beside him, he had paced up and down waiting for news. Grandma, Virgil and Brains working feverishly to stop the haemorrhaging and save the lives of the mother and infant.

It had been more than an hour before the infirmary door opened, and Alan saw his wife laid out on the bed, eyes closed, sleeping. Grandma was crying. Virgil carried a tiny wrapped up bundle in his arms. He looked very close to tears himself.

"I'm so sorry Alan, we did everything we could, but the bleeding was out of control…We lost Sonia…we lost her…I'm so sorry…"

Virgil had broken off with a sob and had handed the tiny bundle in his arms to his brother.

"You have a son, Alan. He's premature, but he's totally fine. Sonia said…she said she loves you and wants you to give your son the name you had both decided on."

Behind Virgil, in the room, Alan saw a disconsolate Brains covering Sonia's lovely face with the sheet. Alan had let out a howl, shoved the infant in his arms back at Virgil without even looking at his son, and ran.

And ran.

And ran.

He had very little idea how long he had been sitting there, but he had nowhere else to go. No reason to go anywhere. Not anymore. What the hell did life matter anymore, now he had lost his Sonia? His soulmate? The other half of himself?

He vaguely recalled his family calling after him, but he had ignored them and kept on running until eventually he had lost them in the jungle, before finally emerging on to the beach. With a pang, he realised this was Lucille Beach. The beach named for his own mother.

He started suddenly, when a gentle hand touched his shoulder. Then dad was there, and dad was hugging him fiercely. Protectively. Dad was weeping, and suddenly, Alan wept with him, sobbing, heartbroken.

"Oh, my Alan. My own little Alan. I'm so sorry this happened. I'm so, so sorry boy. We all loved Sonia so much. She deserved to live and see her baby growing up. He didn't deserve to lose his mommy any more than you did Allie. But he needs his daddy. Your son needs you to be there for him now, Alan."

Alan pulled away from his father, and looked up.

"Dad, how did you do it? How did you cope with losing mom? How can I…I don't want to live without my Sonia. Dad…it is a dream, isn't it? I'm gonna wake up and find her in bed beside me, right? This has got to be a bad dream!"

His father shook his head.

"I am sorry son, but I'm afraid it has happened. But you are not on your own. You have all of us with you to help you. John and Amy are taking care of the baby for now, until you feel ready to take over. Everyone is in tears Alan…this is when we all need each other. Don't isolate yourself out here. Let us help. Please Alan."

Shuddering with sobs again, Alan nodded and leaning on his father, he accompanied him back to the villa.

As they approached, the first to rush out to greet him, half shyly, was Virgil. Virgil's face and eyes were red with weeping, with damp trails down his cheeks.

"Alan…I know… I know its hard…when I lost Connie I wanted to die…I'm so sorry Al, I promise it will get better. I promise it will…I'm so sorry I couldn't save her for you…"

Then Virgil's face was buried in Alan's shoulder. Alan realised he was not alone after all. His brothers and sisters-in-law were all as devastated as he was. He hugged Virgil back.

"It wasn't your fault Virg." He whispered into his big brother's ear. "I know you did everything you could."

When Virgil released him from his bear-hug, Alan looked round for John and Amy. John was cradling a tiny bundle in his arms. With eyes red and damp, but a slight smile on his face, John handed the infant to Alan.

"Here is your daddy, little one. Alan, this is your little boy. He's awake. He's been waiting for you to come home."

Alan looked down at the tiny boy in his arms. Deep blue eyes gazed up at him from inside the fluffy blanket.

"Welcome home, son." Alan whispered. He glanced up.

"What is his name, Alan?" Jeff asked softly. Alan glanced at Scott briefly, and managed a smile.

"We decided to name him for his first and second uncles. Neil Scott Tracy."