Disclaimer: I do not own any of the batfam members. They belong to DC!

Sorry, this came out late but... HAPPY LATE HALLOWEEN!

Sorry if anyone seems too OOC-ish!

It was Halloween, Bruce knew his family would end up trick or treating. Whether it was willingly or by force (read: Dick dragging them out to trick or treat) that was a different story.

Of course, he knew that meant they were going to dress up. He knew that. It was common sense! That doesn't mean that he didn't choke on his coffee when he saw them.

He had gone down to the Batcave to check the security around Gotham and whatnot when he saw them.

They were arguing... over who's costume was the best. That wasn't what had shocked Bruce though. His kids got into daily debates over who was better almost daily. They were awfully competitive after all.

But they were ALL dressed up as the same thing-er... person. They all had different versions of course as BATMAN/WOMEN!

After getting over his shock Bruce dropped his head into his hands and groaned. Why him?! What had HE done to deserve this?!

This was probably planned out by Dick, Jason, Stephanie or Harper, maybe even all 4.

But there was no doubt in his mind that at least one of them had done this if only to spite him or mildly annoy him. Who knows maybe his eldest just felt like pranking him again. If that was it then that meant Wally and Will were probably in on it. He would interrogate the redheads later.

For now, he had to deal with the problem at hand. His kids were basically either brawling it out or cheering them on.

Slowly, hesitantly, completely sure that he was going to regret going down there, he walked down the stairway leading deeper into the cave.

There he saw exactly who were the ones wrestling each other.

Damian had Tim in a chokehold while Tim had the younger pinned down. Jason and Dick had their weapons out and were circling each other menacingly.

The rest of his kids were either sitting, standing or leaning against something while cheering them on and- wait was Stephanie exchanging money with Harper and Duke?!

Why... HOW did they rope DUKE into that? Harper he could understand but DUKE?!

He was supposed to be the sanest out of all of them! Oh well, it was nice having a somewhat reasonable kid while it lasted.

He was jolted out of his shock and self-pitying thoughts by the sound of a gunshot.

Jason had fired at his elder brother, who had of course dodged it. Bruce just prayed that his second oldest hadn't loaded that gun with real bullets.

He decided that it was also time to speak up and interfere.


All heads turned to him.

"Hi dad!"

"Ηey B!"

"Old man."


"Hi Bruce!"

"What's up, Boss man?"

They all said simultaneously.

Bruce's eyes swept across all of them.

"What's going on?" he asked.


"-thought he was-"

"I am the best Ba-"

"-mon brat atta-"

"- shot at me!"


Bruce had no idea what they were saying.

"Okay, wait. Stop. STOP!"

He took a deep breath.

"Ok, now one at a time"

"It's Halloween" - Steph

"Us... Batman-woman" - Cass

"They promised extra candy" - Harper & Cullen

"Peer-pressure" - Duke

"Meh - nothing better to do" - Barbara

"Had some spare time so I came over" - Terry

"Demon brat thinks that he would be the best Batman!" - Tim

"Of course I would be! I am far superior to peasants such as you Drake!" - Damian

"Wrong there baby brat, the best one here would be me... If I wanted to be Batman that is" - Jason

"Nope! I've been Batman before and I was awesome! Therefore I win!" - Dick

"I'm currently Batman in my universe! Beat that!" - Terry

"Sorry but I'm sure I'd be the best!" - Steph

"No. Me." - Cass

Bruce cleared his throat. He did NOT need to hear his kids (and now that it was established that Barbara was here, his somewhat niece too) argue over who would be the best Batman... woman, WHATEVER! He was Batman for crying out loud!

At the sound of his throat clearing, they all turned to look at him.

Then their eyes narrowed and they all asked in a 'sweet' voice.

"So... Bruce, which one of us do YOU think would be the best Batman/woman?"

The oldest Wayne's eyes widened.

'You know what? SCREW IT!" Bruce thought.

They could fight all they want, he would try and stop them of course but the moment they ganged up on him? HELL NAH! He's out of there!

Bruce took one last glance that the evil little bats and birds before stepping back into the shadows and getting the hell out of the cave.

Once they were sure that the Big, Bad Bat was out of the cage (and hearing range) the mischievous teens and adults turned to each other, smirks adorning their faces.

"The plan worked!" they cheered.

A cackle rang through the cave as the Batmen and women left the cave to go collect candy and reak havoc on poor unexpecting Gotham City once again on the day known as Halloween.

Oh Gotham! I pity you! And Bruce! Oh, poor poor Bruce!

Done I hope you liked it please review.