a/n: wrapping this up… a bit of serious then a bit of fluff
CHAPTER SEVEN
"First off Hermione we both know that this is going to take all weekend and we're going to deal with some hard issues so we should establish some ground rules, yeah?"
Hermione looked at Ron quite puzzled. "Ground rules?"
"Yeah, it's something that I did with my Mind Healer after the war. You remember how she helped me with my PTSD and insecurities?"
"Of course. You really seemed to be better after that. Ok, so what do we do?"
"I think we should set some rules for ourselves, ok. Like first rule is I love you and no matter what happens I always will and I need you to know that. Can you say the same?"
"Oh Ronald, of course I can say that. You're stuck with me even when I mess up like now."
"Excellent, so that's rule one. Second rule is that we stop, pause, whatever, whenever either of us calls time out. I think that we should pause at bedtime and mealtimes, or whenever either of us think things are getting too heated, agreed?"
"Sure."
Ok, last rule is this; we agree to go to couples counseling if we don't have things sorted by Sunday night. What do you think?"
"Oh, umm, oh. I guess that would be ok."
"I really want this to work, Hermione and I'm willing to do whatever it takes. I know therapy really helped me out and I think we can use what she did with me to help us get sorted."
"Me too, Ronald, me too. So where do we start?"
"First off, we need to talk about why you were so angry last night…"
For the next two hours of Friday night Ron and Hermione talked and cried and yelled and hugged and talked and cried some more. There were some time outs, some periods of silence and other periods when they couldn't stop talking. They took a time out Friday night to sleep but started again early Saturday morning.
They talked about their past and their patterns of rowing and withholding their feelings. They talked about how both tended to misunderstand and jump to incorrect assumptions, about how they didn't always listen to the other and how they had old outdated expectations of what the other would do under stress.
They continued all of Saturday as Ron and Hermione never left their flat. As the day waned there was more and more words of affirmation and reconciliation and less confrontation as they spent more time talking about what they loved about each other and all the positive aspects of their relationship.
Ron agreed that he needed to be better at communicating with her. He confessed that a simple patronus on Thursday would have saved them both a shitload of grief. He vowed to be better.
They both agreed what to work on and what changes each one had to make. Most importantly they both agreed on how to improve their patience with each other. Both reaffirmed their love for each other and vowed to be better at giving each other grace and forgiveness.
Just before dinnertime when Ron finally convinced Hermione that her worth as a person was not dependent on her accomplishments and that she was worthy and loveable no matter what she did or didn't do. Ron confirmed this with many words and kisses. Her value as a person was independent of all that she did or didn't do. The love that Ron and her friends and family had for her was not dependent on whether her proposals were passed or what she accomplished. She was loved simply for being Hermione.
This epiphany, this shift in her identity paradigm, was a significant emotional event for her. As she fully comprehended this concept her eyes flew open and she was momentarily shocked speechless before dissolving in a mass of tears as she buried herself in Ron's chest. The fact that she would be loved no matter what, even if her proposals all failed and she never accomplished anything; this fact was almost too much for her to bear.
She sobbed as the magnitude of this revelation washed over her. Ron simply held her and whispered love and affirmations in her ear. All of her life she had felt she needed to earn the love of her parents, and that spilled over to everyone.
"I love you Hermione, just for who you are, just for being you; for all that you are, I love you, and all your friends feel the same. Harry, Ginny, Luna, your parents, and my whole family love you just for who you are. You are loved, my love. You are loved."
After several minutes Hermione looked up at Ron as he wiped her tears with his handkerchief.
"Really?" is all she said.
"Yes, of course Hermione. Of course. Even when you go ballistic over a missed dinner meeting I love you more than life itself. You are loved, Hermione. I love you. No matter what, you are loved and you are loveable."
Hermione buried herself in Ron's chest again and reveled in his words and his warmth. It was apparent to her now why she was so angry at Ron for missing that meeting. She thought she was going to fail and the very idea of failing was not something she could handle, so she lashed out in anger at Ron who she perceived to be the reason for her failure. The irony that she actually succeeded because of Ron was not lost on her.
Ron held her and rocked her slowly and continued to whisper love and affirmation to her. Finally she lifted her head and looked him in the eyes and smiled as she wiped her tears away.
"Uhm, uh, mmm, I'm not sure what to think right now, but I do know that I love you as well and will work hard to be worthy of your love, Ron. Thank you for helping me to see myself in a new way."
Ron gave her arms a slight squeeze and replied, "you don't have to work to be worthy Hermione. You are worthy, just as I am. We are worthy of each other and to love each other."
They both sat there in silence as they pondered all that they had talked about over the last day and a half, and what it would mean going forward. Both had a sense of comfort and safety as they both just held each other.
After a few moments, Ron let go of her and stood up. He kissed her gently and said, "give me a minute, I'll be right back."
Hermione just nodded and used Ron's handkerchief to wipe away all her tears. She smiled up at Ron as he returned and sat next to her. She couldn't help but notice his lopsided grin as he looked at her with love.
"Hermione?"
"Uhm yes, Ron?"
"You know how we agreed at the beginning of all this we talked about couples counseling?"
"Yes, but that was only if we weren't able to sort out ourselves. I thought we were doing pretty good at doing that… you don't?"
"No, I agree with you, Hermione, after all we've gone through since Thursday, both the good and the bad, I think we're in a pretty good place and don't need couples counseling, but I have another suggestion."
Hermione let out the breath she'd been holding waiting for Ron, "Ok then, what are you thinking?"
Ron stood and then got down on one knee in front of her. He took both her hands and looked he square in the eyes…
"How about we do pre-marital counseling instead, because Hermione, I'm more convinced than ever that I want to spend the rest of my life being with you, loving and being loved by you "
Hermione gasped and tried to pull her hands to cover her face, but Ron let go of only her left as he reached into his pocket with his right hand and pulled out a small box.
"Hermione Jean Granger, love of my life, will you marry me?"
Hermione jumped up and landed on Ron covering his face with kisses as they both fell to the floor.
Ron returned the kisses with enthusiasm, but finally took her head in his hands and smiled and said, "I presume that's a yes, but I would love to hear it from you, Hermione?"
Hermione laughed as she gently swatted his shoulder. "Of course you silly man, I will marry you."
They wrapped themselves together, getting as close as they could, treasuring the safe and secure feeling of being held by the other, and looking forward to being this close the rest of their lives.