191The Harbinger Who Lives In Pride
Chapter One:
Thou who speaks in snakes tongue
He ran away, taking Patrasche, Natsuki Subaru left his Oni companion and ran, he'd attempt to figure out the situation all by himself, he couldn't stand to see Rem die, not again, not by that cruel monster, never again!
"I need to-" on the black scaled ground dragon, "I need to figure this out, I know I can, even if I have to die over and over, I need to"
But Subaru knew, the nasty-eyed boy knew he couldn't, he knew he couldn't save them, he knew he was worthless, he knew he'd never be able, with his weak and docile figure. The raven-youth couldn't fight with a sword, or cast flame, he couldn't muster the strength of a mountain like Rienhart, or lead an army like Crusch, he was a useless boy who's only ace was dying and returning.
Subaru understood his tears and they flowed, frustration, grief, anger. As the emotions formed, the boy with hazel eyes slowed himself and the dragon. Stopping, Subaru could now view Flugel's tree, past all the tears of course.
"Why-" now sniffling, Subaru grew a desperate expression, "WHY ME!" Rage grew across the boy, "WHY ME WHO'S SO WORTHLESS AND USELESS!"
Falling to his knees, Subaru began to hit the ground, "why… why do I have to be so weak, why return by death! Why, why, why, why…" the nasty eyed boy broke down on the ground, his tears now loose he stared to the ground in loss, "I just wanted to be happy!- to escape, I- I can't do this-"
He was still, his arms supporting him, his back bended over, only the boys tears and slight mumbles could be heard.
"I just don't want this anymore- I…"
"Why does thou cry?"
"Who…"
"Why does thou break down?", an archaic voice continued
"Said that…", the raven boy was confused
"Why does thou, who has worked so hard, who has so many opportunities and is boundless in potential cry on the ground?" The voice was stern in tone, it seemed angry at Subaru but as well curious, almost as if it was trying to provoke the broken boy at first.
"I- you-" raising his head, Subaru looked around for the source of the voice, but to no avail, there was no one present.
Beginning to laugh, the boy with unkempt bullet black hair began to lose his shit, "hahaha, so this is what it feels like to go crazy, ah just wonderful, great!"
"Make no mistake, thou is not crazy, thy venerable self is very much real!" The voice spoke in a scornful manner
Subaru chuckled, "Oh is that right? Then where is this venerable self of yours?"
"In thous od" the archaic voice responded blankly
"Oh but I thought my of od was useless?" Subaru laughed again, "useless, useless, useless…" he cried
"Hmph" the scornful voice seemed to be disappointed, "thou should not belittle thous self as meager, for thou has accomplished so much in such a short time"
"So much- hehe" Subaru moved to the side, planting his face in the ground, "the only thing I've done is manage to screw things up, over and over"
"But has thou not gone back to fix thous mistakes, over and over, thou sacrifices himself for the ones who thou care for" the voice had admiration in its tone
"All I managed to do was beat up some wolgrams, and even then I was useless in the end" Subaru continued his hatred towards himself
"No thou was not!" The scornful, archaic voice was angry, "thou managed to set his future in motion, thou chose diligence, without thou, two candidates would be dead, a village gone, and if thou doesn't act upon it, thou will loose everything once more!"
"What can I do?!" Subaru now in anger, "die?!"
"Every time I go back, I just end up screwing things up, over and over!" The raven-haired youth took a gasp in before continuing, "I can't beat Petelgeuse! I can't be the hero Rem needs, or the knight Emilia wants! I'm a useless boy, in both this world and the last, and I HATE MYSELF for it! What can I do?! Oh great mighty and venerable voice from my od, what can I do to be the hero everyone needs!?"
"Thou can start by loving himself"
Those words… took Subaru a back, love himself? Just what was this voice trying to say? How was he supposed to love himself? Why would he deserve to love himself, he's done nothing of great strife, he's not some overpowered isekai protagonist that'll kill the demon king, he's just Subaru, useless, small, Subaru.
"I can't love myself…" his hazel eyes cried, his heart aching
"But why not? Thou has so much potential, thou can change this world for the better, thou who has gone back over and over, thou deserves praise, thou should Pride himself in his accomplishments, and move forward with confidence"
"I can't- I don't deserve praise…" Now laying on the ground, Subaru stared out to the stars, his eyes now dry as the tears could no longer flow.
"But thou does, and thou shall be happy to know that others think the same, the oni loves thou dearly, and despite all her faults, the half-elf wishes the best for thou, even the spirit has gained respect for thou" the archaic voice spoke with motivation, seeking to encourage the distraught raven-youth.
"They- they can't- it doesn't-"
"Thou doesn't realize just how great his accomplishments have been does he"
"I- I- no… I don't…" The Japanese teenager grew silent, now beginning to consider the voices words.
"Then thou should now rise himself in Pride, to know who he is and what he can accomplish, thou should love himself and know he is not worthless" the archaic voice paused as if recalling a memory before quickly continuing, "thou wanted to be a hero! And thou can be, if thou can realize just how great thou truly is. So thou should move forward and look to solve his problems"
"Y-you're right…" was all Subaru could muster, who was this, who came to him to voice their self, who gave Subaru this pep talk and all this motivation? "Who- is this anyway?"
If the voice had a face, they would smile, "before thou can know of mine self, does thou accept himself?"
"…"
"I guess I do.. now?" Subaru stated unsure
The voice sighed, "don't worry for thy and thou will work on that, "but now, allow for thy to introduce mine venerable self"
A cluster of bright orbs, similar in shape to spirits formed to Subarus left, who now quickly moved to stand himself to face the cluster. The cluster came together and began to form an outline, and now standing before Subaru, was a man, royal in clothing, dark violet silky hair the flowed down to his shoulders, and sharp eyes. The man had a slender body, and to Subaru, his skin was a sickening pale.
The man with the archaic voice from before raised his right arm and hand to his heart and darted his eyes towards The raven-youth, "Former Archbishop of the Witches cult representing Pride, Stride Vollachia"
Authors Note:
How was that eh?
Hey it's the author here, just gonna go over a few things here. I've had an idea for a story like this for as long as I could remember now, it's just spun around my head for a while now, and really I couldn't stand now jotting the idea down. So pretty much to summarize the idea, it's my own custom take on a 'pride if' but it's not really Subaru going insane and yknow, well, burning down Lugnica. Now it's a bit confusing but to specify, this story starts at a point in arc 3, the one where Subaru finally decides to leave without Rem, and now some of you may be asking, "hey, why the hell is stride here?" Well get ready for the greatest bullshit reason, which just happens to be taken up in chapter 2.
Once again, as in all my fics, Subaru will be buffed up, but nothing too overpowered, for now.
I also don't want to follow the whole, 'Subaru being tied down by the Emilia camp' trope, really I see more potential in the story if our favourite nasty-eyed boy goes his own way, so most likely no Emilia x Subaru ship in the fic , my bad.
Subaru becomes independent in this fic and that's that. As for how the boy views the world, I want to write the fic with Subaru maturing, and viewing the the other camps in a new light, he won't exactly resent them, but he won't want to join any either, he'll be Natsuki Subaru, a hero of the world.
At the end of things, I hope you guys will enjoy the series, I look forward to writing it after-all lol.
And p.s.
I'm still continuing my other fics, just with a change in schedule and amount of content.
Either way, have a good one!