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Chapter 1: Three Years Ago

Three years ago, I was a simple guy with no real worry about dying to some supernatural bullshit.

Three years ago, I was also someone that didn't expect to end up in a place such as this one… and I had many reasons to be concerned about my wellbeing when I ended up in Kuoh Town, Japan. My name is John Bukharin, I'm 24, and I've been struggling to keep myself out of this whole affair. I really tried. I really did. It all started with Truck-kun having gotten an upgrade- I really didn't expect to find a full-speed Bugatti rushing through the street I was crossing at the time. It happened at a red light, I had checked left and right before crossing and- let me be honest, the street in question had way too many curves for a sports car to speed through without slamming itself before reaching me. So, yes, that was fucking Truck-kun.

That should have killed me if it had been a normal vehicle, but, as expected, that didn't happen. And, while that might sound quite suicidal, I regretted that it didn't. I closed my eyes just for a moment, my strength briefly dying out due to the numerous wounds caused by the impact and… then the pain disappeared. From the bloody ground I was about to die on, I woke up on colder and cleaner concrete.

I looked around, standing up as I felt fine. No injuries, no blood on my clothes. I was fine. Sorta. I was in some unfamiliar alley, and I could already tell this wasn't home due to how clean this place was. Shady alleys were meant to represent the worst conditions within a city and, surprisingly enough, this was helluva cleaner than the ones I had seen back home. I was still in modern times as I could tell from the noises of nearby cars. People too. This wasn't the fantasy isekai that I had unconsciously wanted, but it was still something. And I got subjected to it for some mysterious reason.

First thing first before I got to see where I was, which city I had landed in and how the hell I got there, I needed to get bearing on what I had on myself. My wallet was there, my phone was… cracked. The screen was damaged and it didn't seem to want to turn on much to my chagrin. I had my clothes when I was subjected to that car accident… and I distinctly remembered what led to that event. I had gone out to buy some groceries. And there was no sign of the bag. I had wasted roughly around 100$ on that stuff, so it definitely felt like I got stolen that much in terms of money with that sudden assault.

Sighing, I tried to finally see where the hell I was. And boy, I was surprised to learn I got flung across the world and pretty far from home. I woke up in… Osaka. I had no means to know what was up to me by this bizarre teleportation as… what the hell was supposed to happen in a place like this one? Why was I here? I tried to find a reason for this but I soon discovered that I had no means to do that. I had nothing on myself that would have suggested who had pulled me in a place like this one or why I was there.

I also had a hard time rationalizing why I could now understand Japanese and speak it on command without thinking too much about it. I might have studied it a bit a few years ago, but not to the level of being able to directly translate what the people were saying and 'hearing it' as if they were speaking Italian. For a very brief moment, I thought that I was going to deal with a Yakuza-based plot since I remembered that Sotenbori was in Osaka and… God, I don't want to be there if that was the case. So, I planned well enough to leave and try to 'get home'. If this was actually my home dimension or shit like that.

Still, I had a plan.

Sadly for me, said plan failed shortly after I was done plotting it, right as I started to make my way to the closest bank and have some of my money converted to Yen. I wasn't going to travel with just Euros. So I was quite surprised when I was suddenly stopped by a single individual that was 'passing by' after his group had spotted some 'irregularities' in the area.

The Fallen Angel, the founder of Grigori, the Chairman of the Gabriel-chan Fan Clan and professional man-child, Azazel himself decided to check on the situation since, as he would soon proclaim, he was bored and the paperwork was being mean. Many would have been frightened for this visit, some would have even crapped their pants at the notion of dealing with one of the big shots of the Christian Pantheon… but I just managed to bribe the cheeky guy by offering to pay dinner while also convincing him to not mind break me for some info on what the hell was going on with my sudden apparition. I would answer his questions without any restraint.

Luckily for me, he was intrigued by the idea, especially when I gave him access to my wallet so he could personally check on it as I answered some basic questions. Why was I bending so hard to this guy? Less resistance and more compliance translated into less reasons to actually get captured, put out of commission and dissected by Grigori to understand what was going on and what happened to me. Sure, it wouldn't go to the point of dismemberment, but I really wasn't planning to get my brain even so touched by magic meant to pull out info out of it. As I was allowed to still check the nearest bank and change a few of my green papers into shiny yen, we proceeded to find a nice and far-away restaurant where nobody would disturb us during this chat. What I hadn't taken into account, was for Azazel to have a mean humor when it came to submissive morons. So, I really was stunned when more than half the table we were sitting by was filled with stuff he ordered for himself.

"Ah yes, Shemhazai would throw a fit if he saw what kind of urgent matter I'm dealing with… who cares~?" The Governor-General hummed happily as he stuffed his face to his heart's content. I could only look at the insane sight while I slowly ate the sad pasta I was given. Why was it 'sad'? It hadn't been cooked properly and it was too… rigid, too tough to the teeth. Clearly the chef that was pulling this 'Italian stunt' knew close to nothing about the cuisine.

"So, John Bukharin, Italian and… I see that you are unemployed."

"Yes." I replied tensely, trying to hold back at that last detail as I could tell it was meant to be a jab. I couldn't react too harshly, not when the bastard could easily kill me.

"How did you end up here? You're definitely far from home, kiddo."

My lips twitched, and I considered how I could exactly explain this whole mess without sounding too… actually no, I had to be fucking blunt about it. Surely Azazel should know about this kind of phenomenon.

"Are you familiar with Truck-kun?"

"Apologies, but are you trying to say that you got teleported into this 'world' through a car accident caused by a truck?"

"It was a Bugatti, but yes. I'm not dead, I am somehow able to understand fluently what people are saying despite me being mediocre in Japanese," I listed out without any restriction. "Also, I'm familiar with this world, you, the 'main cast'."

"...This is an anime?"

I nodded slowly, and then he took a moment to think about it.


"Ecchi and Romcom, with spikes of action and drama."

He grinned eye-to-eye at that. "That I can see but… you understand that I can't exactly accept that as proof of you being honest about this."

"I can drop something that no one but a few know," I offered and Azazel nodded. So, I dropped three hard bombs on him, two of which he already knew about, and one that actually left him quite shocked.

"First, God is dead. He has been since the Great War between the Three Factions."

"That's about right-"

"And the reason he died was because he had fought against Lucifer in a weakened state after sealing Trihexa."

"That should be enough to prove your truthfulness but… give me more if you want."

I nodded, knowing that the more I dropped now, the more leverage my claim of exchanging info for services would get. "Kokabiel is planning a rebellion to rekindle the war. He is not exactly a pacifist."

"I'm aware of that last bit but… rebellion? That's definitely something I would have to deal with quickly. Next?"

"Before going for the last one, there's something else about this matter that I would like to talk about. Two things."

Azazel shrugged, adopting an eased posture as we continued to enjoy some food. "Go ahead."

"First, the guys you have on Kuoh Town, those that are spying on the Boosted Gear user, are loyal to Kokabiel. It would be best if they are removed from the means to cause damage to any operation against their boss."

"Sounds right. And the second one?"

"...That's more of a favor than else. I know I can ask you this much because you ain't a real bastard when it comes to this kind of stuff."

He blinked, raising an interested look at this.

"There's this nun that will soon be excommunicated. The whole shitshow will be caused by a Devil that wants to put her in his peerage but… well, she would be best given the chance to not be subjected to this guy."

"And I should be interested in saving nuns… why? Is she hot?"

"I mean, if you are into thirteen years-olds that would prefer to call you papa rather than daddy, sure," I rebuked cheekily and I got an amused snort out of him. "Still, she got Twilight Healing and doesn't deserve that kind of life. I know it will not be difficult getting her in Grigori."

"Gotcha. Get her out should be a priority and… now, for the last dish on the table."

"Yes, yes. Now, this is perhaps the most serious of them all. There are three threats that will become tangible once a new faction will rise out from various minor ones. Khaos Brigade," I started to elaborate, making sure that Azazel understood I was being serious. "The group will focus on sowing dissent, and using disloyal members of all factions to band up in their group. First threat is Ophis-"

"What about the guy?"

"Loli," I corrected.

"...It is now a little girl?"

Truth be told, that surprise wasn't exactly unexpected. Last time Azazel talked with Ophis, the Infinity Dragon was

"Yep, but her plans are the same. Pull Great Red out of her home, get back home, sleep eternally."

"And by 'pulling' the Dragon, are you implying she would bring it in this dimension?"

I nodded. "That's correct."

"One down, two more to go. Are those worse than Ophis?"

I slowly nodded, my lips forming a thin line.

"Next is the 'Hero Faction'. Despite the name would suggest that they could be good guys, the basis is that their leadership is made by power-hungry jerks. Heirs and heiresses of heroes from all corners of the world all banding up under the descendant of Cao Cao… Cao Cao."

"And this 'Cao Cao' is dangerous. Why?"

"He is the wielder of the True Longinus, and has a hate-boner for the Gods and anything that he blames for his shitty childhood."

"Hmm, that actually sounds troublesome. And the next one?"

"This, I believe, should be solved first and foremost. Rizevim joined that group."

Azazel's seriousness heightened at that. "That's… what? I know for a fact he wouldn't do something like that. Not because he can't but-"

"He lacked ambition. Then he learned about Ophis wanting to cause mayhem, that the Holy Grail was within reach and that Trihexa could be released on the world. Of course a chaotic being would love to plunge the world into pure chaos."

Azazel remained quiet after my explanation, staring at his now empty plate.

"This visit was… way bigger than I was prepared for. But I suppose you didn't tell me this much without a price in mind."

"Three things. I will be reasonable," I argued and the Fallen Angel groaned.

"That's for me to tell now, Bukharin."

"First, a furnished home to live in. Second, a job in Grigori-"

"It would be only paperwork," He remarked and I shrugged. "But I suppose you don't plan for any action."

"I'm not trying to die here. Which is why the third request is non-refutable: I don't want anything to do with crazy insane scenarios. I'm not built for that shit and I have other info to offer behind smaller prices."

I expected more negotiations. After all, those things weren't exactly cheap to get but… Azazel smiled.


I blinked. "Really?"

"Yeah, it's not unreasonable."



Too confident, too accepting. I could tell Azazel was planning something insane from the cheeky smile he had plastered on his face. What I didn't know was the place where my house would be located. In his defense, I forgot to say that Kuoh Town was the worst place to let me live within despite how calm it was at this stage of the story, but I couldn't exactly bail now.

Not when Azazel made it clear he wouldn't give me any 'refund' considering how risky it was to produce false documentation for someone that technically doesn't exist. It wasn't the worst by all means. I could still keep away from the worst since the only chance to get pulled into the mess that would come out of the main plot was to somehow end up befriended by someone from the main cast. And that, I was already adamant it wouldn't happen. Not on my watch.

That was three years ago.

In present times, as I looked back at it, I could only apologize to my past self as I now had a problem in the form of some stupid choices I made ever since I came to live here. I may or may not have done something really dumb in the process of helping some guy- like really dumb stuff that I was openly frustrated about and-


...Yep, curse my kindness and my efforts to give this pervert a chance. God-fucking-dammit.


You know the sweet touchy feeling of a plan going wrong? You know, the one that makes you scream bloody murder at the chance of dealing with new situations and new plans? How delightful!