7AN, this starts off with them already in Alexandria, they have just made the plan to direct the herd of walkers with Daryl leading. Harley doesn't like the idea because Daryl is the only family she has left, she blames Merle's death on Rick and doesn't particularly like him. She's mad at Daryl for agreeing to do it and she's super pissed because Daryl won't let her help she doesn't really feel at home with the group or in Alexandria she never has felt anything but an outsider with the group. She doesn't like Carol because she feels like Carol is trying to take her place as Daryl's sister.
Chapter 1,
Harley's POV,
I can't believe my idiot brother has once again agreed to put himself in danger for these bunch of assholes! I hate it here, I hate the people, the houses that look like the end of the world didn't happen but most of all I hate Rick the so-called leader! Daryl knows how unhappy I am here, he knows but he doesn't give a shit because his happy here, with the people he has claimed as family forgetting that we are actually family and his my older brother! If Merle was here he would be kicking Daryl's ass right about now.
People could say what they want about Merle, but he always protected me and made sure I was safe, I'm not saying Daryl hasn't protected me since Merle died but he definitely avoids me as much as he can. It's not like I haven't tried with these people but we're just different. Merle made sure I knew he was always there for me no matter what, even if it was 3am and he was with some random chick, and I had just woken up from a nightmare.
He was always there for me, even if I had pissed him off, he wouldn't avoid me he made sure I knew he was always there.
I was bought out of my thoughts by Daryl walking into our room, yeah were grown adults and we have to share a room cause there wasn't enough rooms, yet Carl got his own room so did Judith. Daryl sleeps on the floor so I have the bed, he wouldn't have it any other way, but I still think Carl and Judith should share a room and me and Daryl should get our own rooms we are adults after all, but no Rick thought he was in charge in this house and told us how it would be and Daryl bowed down and followed along like the little puppy his become since meeting Rick.
"I'm leaving soon!"
I looked at him frowning, he knew I was pissed with him he could see it on my face.
"I don't know why you have to play hero Daryl! You're the only family I have left, and you won't even let me help!"
"This isn't about me playing hero, this herd is all our problems Harley!"
"Yes, Daryl I know, that doesn't mean I'm happy that my big brother is throwing himself into danger and could potentially die! What would that mean for me then? You die and I'm left here alone!"
I am angry at my big brother, but I hoped he knew me well enough to also hear the true fear in my voice. As much as I am angry at him and dislike the situation we are in and that once again Rick is willing to throw my brother under the bus first I was still truly scared that I would lose my brother. Me and Daryl may not be as close as we used to be, but I still loved him and didn't want him to die, he knew that one of my fears is being left alone. I could survive this world as long as my brother survives it to.
With that his walked over to me and kneeled in front of me grabbing my hands in his,
"Harls come on, everything will be fine I always come back to you!"
This had me laughing in disbelief
"Not lately you haven't Daryl, you've done everything to avoid me ever since we came to Alexandria!"
"Come on that's not fair!"
"No Daryl what's not fair is how you've treated me since Rick and Carol came along!"
I knew I had hit a nerve, but I was sick of hiding how I feel from him and pretending I was ok when I wasn't. Ever since Carol lost Ed it's almost like shes his sister and not me and he knows it from the look he was giving me.
"Your right Ley, and I'm sorry. I haven't been the best big brother to you since all this shit kicked off. I always thought Merle would be here for us both"
"I get it Daryl I really do; Merle was almost like our father figure, but I've never asked for anything from you other than to be there for me. I have supported you this whole time, I made sure you ate, drank, and went with you to hunt so someone was watching your back, even came with you and Merle when you left the prison. I stayed with Rick and his fucked-up group because you're here, but it doesn't really feel like you want me around. I'm not a child Daryl I'm not asking for you to look after me I'm just asking for my brother!"
I didn't want to hurt him or upset him but its time I said something because I am on the verge of leaving and not looking back even if that means leaving Daryl behind. It's one thing us Dixions always prided ourselves on and that was how close and unbreakable our sibling bond was but now it seems like that was all utter bollocks.
"Little Bird, I'm sorry I've made you feel this way. I wish you had said something sooner I could of done…
He didn't get to finish because Rick the Prick was calling for him, and I knew once again this conversation wouldn't go anywhere because as soon as Rick called Daryl would go running.
"I'm sorry Harls I've got to go"
"Yeah, nothing unusual about that Daryl Rick calls jump, and you scream how high and once again our conversation gets left unfinished, and I get pushed to the back of the queue like I mean nothing to you!"
"Harls please don't be like this"
"Its fine, go. Be safe please"
I kissed his cheek and pulled my hands from his and walked into the bathroom closing the door. I've never felt so far from my brother in my life, and I don't think there's anything there anymore. I heard the bedroom door open, and Daryl walk away so I quietly opened the bathroom door and creeped downstairs but before I got to the bottom I heard Rick talking.
"Is everything ok?"
"Yeah was just talking to Harley"
"Is she with us on this Daryl?"
"What do you mean?"
"I know she doesn't agree with sending you off alone and I know she wants to go with you but is she with us?"
"Shes fine Rick"
"Daryl, since the prison I've noticed Harley has distanced herself from everyone here. I've also noticed that she glares at me, and Carol whenever were in the same room."
"I never noticed that Rick but I'm sure it's nothing."
"Daryl I'm just going to come out and ask, are we going to have trouble with Harley?"
"Rick shes fine"
"I need to ask Daryl, if we do get any trouble with her where will you stand?"
"Are you asking me to choose between you and my little sister?"
"I'm just asking where your loyalty lies!"
"My loyalty is to our family Rick"
"I know Daryl, but Harley has made it clear she doesn't see us as family so does your loyalty include your sister?"
"I'll do what needs to be done Rick, if that means Harley has to leave Alexandria then so be it"
I didn't want to hear anymore after that because to me that gave me all the answers I needed; Daryl would pick these people over me his blood his family his little sister. Hearing that conversation made my decision to leave all that much easier, but I didn't want to just leave I wanted revenge! Not only did Rick get Merle killed but he took Daryl away from me to! I wasn't sure whether I wanted revenge on all of these people or just Rick himself!
Daryl telling Rick he would pick Alexandria over me hurt like hell, one thing Merle and Daryl always promised me when we were growing up was that they would always be there for me no matter what and I promised that in return but now I wasn't so sure who Daryl was anymore.
Daryl's POV,
I knew Harley was upset about this plan of Ricks because it put me in the firing line but the life we live now we didn't have the option to be careful it was fight or be killed. I knew deep down she was just scared of losing me like we did Merle, it was always us growing up our Mum died when Harley was only three, so she doesn't remember her, and our father was a real piece of work, so we all stuck together. When Harley turned Five me and Merle promised her we would always be there for her no matter what and just lately I hadn't been sticking to that promise. In fact, I did everything within my power to avoid her and it's not because I don't love her anymore or that I want her gone or hurt in fact I didn't really have a reason of why I was avoiding her.
Ever since the prison and Merle's death I noticed a big change in Harley she was distancing herself from everyone but me and I didn't know why and every time I tried to talk to her about it and ask what's going on we were interrupted by Rick or Carol calling me over for something or another. I knew that pissed Harley off, it did leave me wondering what the fuck those two were doing always pulling me away from Harley. I had a feeling Carol was just jealous of my relationship with Harley, but I had no idea why, don't get me wrong I like Carol but in no other way then her being part of the group, I had never shown her any affection to say otherwise.
This group knew how close me, Harley and Merle were from the beginning when we were at the quarry we were always together we never let Harley out of our sight she was either with me hunting or with Merle at the camp. Since the prison that had changed, and I knew it was my fault I just didn't know how to fix it right now.
I walked into our bedroom to see her sitting on the bed staring at nothing,
"I'm leaving soon!"
This had her looking at me and frowning, I could see how pissed she was just by looking at her, but I could also see the hurt in her eyes that I had caused by not being there for her.
"I don't know why you have to play hero Daryl! You're the only family I have left, and you won't even let me help!"
Her saying that made me realise just how scared she was about me leaving her, Harley was the only true family I have left and that's the same for her with me and I knew she was worried about me dying and leaving her alone. I knew if it wasn't for me she wouldn't even be here in Alexandria, she was staying because I'm here which had me thinking that if something did happen to me what would happen to her? Cause she wouldn't stay here not just because she didn't have any connections with the group but because I knew Rick wouldn't let her, which would leave her alone in this world and I truly didn't want that for my baby sister.
I knew she wanted to be with me to help but I just couldn't have her there because I would be worrying to much about protecting her which would mean I wasn't focused enough on what needs to be done. But this herd was all our problems and I had to do something to get rid of them not just to protect Alexandria but to protect Harley to.
"This isn't about me playing hero, this herd is all our problems Harley!"
This had her frowning even more, and I could see the start of tears in her eyes that's when I knew how much I had truly hurt her and how much damage was done to our relationship. My baby sister never showed her emotions, she was like me in the respect she kept them locked away until she was alone but seeing the tears gathering had me truly thinking about what I had done.
"Yes, Daryl I know, that doesn't mean I'm happy that my big brother is throwing himself into danger and could potentially die! What would that mean for me then? You die and I'm left here alone!"
I could see the pure fear in her eyes of being alone, she once told me at the start of all this shit that if Merle was gone and I got bit she would want to die with me because she wouldn't be able to live on her own. Merle and I had always protected her from our father well as much as we could anyway. I walked over to her and kneeled in front of her grabbing her hands in mine and holding them tightly. I think this is the first sort of contact with my little sister in a long time and I knew that was my fault.
"Harls come on, everything will be fine I always come back to you!"
I tried to ease her mind, this was something I always used to say to her and at that point in time I did always come back to her. She laughed at me, and I could hear the disbelief in that laugh.
"Not lately you haven't Daryl, you've done everything to avoid me ever since we came to Alexandria!"
Of course, she noticed, she sees everything the problem is I was avoiding her long before we got to Alexandria. It started when we lost Beth, I pushed Harley away I barely said more than two words to her during our travels to get here. I saw how devasted Maggie was for losing Beth, yet I have my little sister here with me and I do nothing but push her away.
"Come on that's not fair!"
"No Daryl what's not fair is how you've treated me since Rick and Carol came along!"
She hit a nerve with that one because she was right, ever since Rick came along and Carol lost Ed I have been different to Harley doing everything I could so Carol and Rick knew I was there for them. The problem is I don't know why because Harley went through everything me and Merle did with our father, so she knows our pain. I thought at first I had a connection with Carol because of Ed and what he put her through but then something changed when we got to the Farm, and I was more involved with the group. I always felt like I had something to prove to the group, like I had to earn my place here with them which kind of got proved when Carol said I earned my place in the group, but Harley had loved me no matter what with all my faults and shit over the years she had always been there for me. And I pay her back by not being there for her when she needs me.
"Your right Ley, and I'm sorry. I haven't been the best big brother to you since all this shit kicked off. I always thought Merle would be here for us both"
Losing Merle was hard on us both, but I know Harley suffered more. Merle was always drumming it in that Harley had to be protected that we both had to make sure she survived this life. And when he died Harley never got to grieve for him because she was too busy supporting me and making sure I was ok.
"I get it Daryl I really do; Merle was almost like our father figure, but I've never asked for anything from you other than to be there for me. I have supported you this whole time, I made sure you ate, drank, and went with you to hunt so someone was watching your back, even came with you and Merle when you left the prison. I stayed with Rick and his fucked-up group because you're here, but it doesn't really feel like you want me around. I'm not a child Daryl I'm not asking for you to look after me I'm just asking for my brother!"
I could see she didn't want to hurt me, but she wanted to get this off her chest it took a lot for Harley to hurt me even when she was pissed off with me and this conversation had been brewing for a while. She was right with all of it of course, she had always been there bringing me food making sure my plate was more full then hers which I knew meant she was taking food from her own plate and adding it to mine which was pointed out to me by Abraham when he told me he was worried for Harley because she had lost far too much weight more than anyone else so he kept a close eye on her and told me what he caught her doing, making sure I slept, gave me the last of her water on numerous occasions and even came hunting with me to watch my back. She stayed with the group for me, I remember her begging me at the prison for us to leave especially after Merle died, she said Rick would be my downfall and I made her stay here with the group. So, I did something I hadn't done since our father beat her last, I called her by the nickname I gave her when she was four and thought she could fly which resulted in her breaking a leg and arm by jumping off the roof of our house.
"Little Bird, I'm sorry I've made you feel this way. I wish you had said something sooner I could of done…
I didn't get to finish what I was saying because Rick was calling for me. I knew Harley was going to be even more pissed off because I was leaving and not finishing our conversation once again leaving things between us unsaid and more damage being caused, but I had to do this not just for Alexandria but for her to I would make it safe then come back and we would finish our talk and I would show her she means everything to me.
"I'm sorry Harls I've got to go"
"Yeah, nothing unusual about that Daryl Rick calls jump, and you scream how high and once again our conversation gets left unfinished"
Again, she was right, it seems like whenever someone called me I went running even at the risk of my relationship with my little sister.
"Harls please don't be like this"
"It's fine, go. Be safe please"
She kissed me on the check then got up and walked into the bathroom closing the door behind her. I heard her take in a shaky breath and slide down the door. I took a deep breath and made my way out the door and down the stairs where Rick was waiting for me.
"Is everything ok?"
I knew he would ask; he could see something was wrong with me anyone could if they looked at me.
"Yeah was just talking to Harley"
"Is she with us on this Daryl?"
This question caught me off guard he had never had an issue with Harley before especially questioning her loyalty to me well not that he had ever expressed to me anyway, I knew no one from the original group bothered with Harley the only one she spoke to was Eugene she had started a friendship with Abraham too but that didn't last long, and I wasn't sure what happened there. I knew even with how pissed she is she would still fight to the death for this place because I was here.
"What do you mean?"
"I know she doesn't agree with sending you off alone and I know she wants to go with you but is she with us?"
I know now she's scared of me not coming back so I just said she's fine, I wasn't going to go into detail about what was wrong with Harley especially considering no one actually bothered with her or gave a damn about her I didn't want out conversation to make its way around the group and give the guys more reason to ignore her.
"She's fine Rick"
"Daryl, since the prison I've noticed Harley has distanced herself from everyone here. I've also noticed that she glares at me, and Carol whenever we're in the same room."
I had noticed the distance between Harley and the others, but I wasn't going to just blame her cause they didn't bother with Harley either. As for the glaring at Carol and Rick I had an idea of why she was doing that even more so with what she said upstairs, but I wasn't going to tell Rick anything. I would fix it with Harley when I got back but not for the group, or Rick I would fix it for us!
"I never noticed that Rick but I'm sure it's nothing."
"Daryl I'm just going to come out and ask, are we going to have trouble with Harley?"
Most definitely that was the Dixion way, but I wasn't about to say that to Rick, Harley would be fine, and I would make sure of it. I would make it up to her and I would make her see I do want her around and I do love her.
"Rick shes fine"
"I need to ask Daryl, if we do get any trouble with her where will you stand?"
I couldn't believe what I was hearing, was he really asking me to make a choice between them and my little sister? Had it really got to this point? The point that Rick thought I would pick any of them over Harley? Had the distance between us been picked up by the rest of the group and they come to the conclusion that I suddenly stopped loving Harley? Harley had never asked me to choose even with everything I had put her through for these people.
"Are you asking me to choose between you and my little sister?"
I had to ask because I had to know the answer.
"I'm just asking where your loyalty lies!"
I could hear the slight desperation in his voice but I could also hear the anger he held towards my little sister and I wasn't sure why because Harley had never done anything to Rick in fact Harley had saved his life on many occasions and Carl's she took a bullet that was meant for Rick back at the prison so I wasn't sure where this anger was coming from, my loyalty is to my little sister and it always would be I had so much I needed to make up for I just hoped I had the chance to fix it.
"My loyalty is to our family Rick"
My family being Harley and I would make that clear once this shit was done with,
"I know Daryl, but Harley has made it clear she doesn't see us as family so does your loyalty include your sister?"
"I'll do what needs to be done Rick, if that means Harley has to leave Alexandria then so be it"
I just hoped Harley never heard me say that I didn't mean it I just said what Rick wanted to hear. I would never ask Harley to leave Alexandria and if the group did then I would leave with her. I had so much to make up for with Harley I just hoped I would have the time to do so.
"Ok Daryl lets go"
With that his walked out the door I went to follow, throwing a longing look at the stairs wanting nothing more than to make it all up to Harley, now little did I know I wouldn't be seeing my little sister again for weeks after and it wouldn't be in a situation I would have or could have predicted.
Harley's POV, (AN, I'm going to do a little bit of a time skip. So, this is a couple hours after Daryl left with the group)
Daryl left with the group a couple hours ago, and I've been on watch since. I knew Gabriel would be here soon to take over from me and that's when I would leave. I'll leave on foot and go through the woods making sure not to leave any tracks like Merle and Daryl taught me. I didn't know where I was going I just knew I couldn't stay here anymore; Daryl didn't want me around that much was true, and I'll be damned if I stay where I'm not wanted. I didn't want to leave Daryl his the only family I had left but it was clear to me he didn't feel the same way.
He had accepted the group as his family where I just couldn't, I just haven't bonded with any of them and in a way that was my fault, but it was also there's because none of them had ever bothered with me. I wasn't like Daryl I didn't feel the need to prove myself to these people or earn my place because everything I ate or drunk I got myself none of these people had ever done anything for me even though it was me and Daryl constantly going hunting and bringing back the food to feed everyone. Not one of them said a thank you to me in fact they barely said anything to me that wasn't Rick ordering me to do something.
I was just done pure and simple I couldn't give anymore of me to this group I was no longer willing to sacrifice myself or die for these people. Thankfully Gabriel turned up so I could leave, with this thought in mind I walked back to the house and straight to Daryl's bedroom. I packed some of my shit up taking all my weapons in the process, I had two katana swords, two 9mm Glocks with silencers, two machetes and two dagger things like forks I forget what they're called but Merle got them for me for one of my birthdays. (Think of the Elektra film and those dagger things she uses)
I found some paper and a pen I wouldn't just leave without leaving a note for Daryl.
Daryl
I'm sorry brother but I can't stay where I'm not wanted anymore. I heard your conversation with Rick and that told me everything I needed to know if it came down to it these people will make you choose between me and them, and I know you well enough to know you would always choose this place and these people over me.
I never blamed you for anything, not even now. You are and always will be my big brother, my family.
I tried to fit in, I tried to be one of them but it's just not who I am. I never thought it would come to this though I never thought we would be placed in a situation where my big brother had to choose me or his second family. I can't ask you to make that choice Daryl, and I never would put you in the position to choose, so I'm making it for you.
I don't want to leave you if I had my way I would be with you always. If it was my choice I would always choose you like I always have done! You have always been the one person I could count on in life to protect me and to be there when I needed you. But somewhere along the way that changed and now you make a point to avoid me, I barely see you anymore and when I do your either with Carol or Rick and I get it I do, their you family too you have always had such a big heart big brother and I have always admired you for that.
But somewhere between the camp in Atlanta by the Quarry and here you've become just a memory for me, I don't know what I did or said to make you take this distance and I don't know why Rick and Carol were always around whenever I tried to get a little time with my big brother but for what it's worth I'm sorry!
There was a time in my life where I couldn't imagine living without you and Merle but now that's my reality.
Growing up with you and Merle I knew I would always be protected but that was when the world was normal before it all went to shit. Us Dixions always prided ourselves on our unbreakable bond which I guess none of us expected the end of the world to happen. I love you big brother and I always will, please remember that. Don't always be the hero Daryl don't let these people get you get killed because you will just be another life gone, another life wasted, another memory to fade, and none of those people will even care.
If I had a choice I would take you with me, but I can't ask you to leave a place where you are happy!
I love you big brother please stay safe and alive.
Harley
I put the note on the pillow grabbed my bag and walked out, I got to the gate, and it was Spencer on gate duty.
"Can you open the gate?"
"Harley? You going hunting?"
"Yeah, I should be back in a couple days"
"Does Daryl know? I thought with this herd situation no one would leave, maybe it's not the safest option!"
"Spencer open the gate or I'm climbing the wall"
He didn't need to know I was leaving; Daryl would get my note when he got back. He nodded his head and opened the gate for me, I walked out and walked away into the woods. I heard the gate close but didn't stop to look back I just carried on walking. I knew what direction they would be taking the herd so I went in the opposite direction, night would be here in a couple of hours, so I need to find somewhere to camp for the night.
Trekking through the woods as quietly as I could so not to attract any Walkers, I had been walking for about three hours now when I came across a cabin it didn't look like anyone was home, but I got my gun out anyway. I silently made my way to the door and knocked first to see if there was any Walkers, when nothing happened I opened the door and walked in closing and locking it behind me.
It was no five-star hotel, but it would do for tonight, it looked like nobody had been home in a while, there was dust everywhere, but it was clean otherwise. I saw the couch near the door so I pushed it against the door so no one could get in during the night, then I checked to see if there was a back door, when I found it I noticed some fire wood outside the door, so I brought that in and pushed a dining table chair under the handle on the back door.
Thankfully this place had curtains, so I closed them all and got to building a small fire once that was done I shook the bed sheets off and settled down for the night. I couldn't stop my mind from wondering to Daryl though and hoping he was ok I didn't know if he had got back and found my note yet or not but even if he did I was a good couple hours away I had made it about fifteen miles from Alexandria, not that he would come for me anyway he made it perfectly clear that those people meant more to him than me. With that thought in mind and the anger still burning a bright fire inside me I drifted off to sleep, I had a map in my backpack and tomorrow I would plan my route.
An, I can't remember how long it took until Daryl got back to Alexandria after this herd bit, so I'm going by my own timeline now.
Daryl's POV,
The plan went to shit almost as soon as we started! The herd broke up and half went back to Alexandria because of some alarm that was going off. I wanted to go back and make sure Harley was ok, but Rick demanded I stay and finished what needed to be done. If something happened to Harley because I wasn't there, and Rick demanded me to stay I would make sure he knew that Harley is still the most important person in my life, and it would always be her I chose. I picked up Abraham and Sasha on the way back and we were well on our way after having to use a rocket launcher to blow up some pricks on motorbikes that got in our way. We made it back to the gates by nightfall we heard the chaos of what was going on inside the gates from out here. So, I turned the truck around and reversed it back so Sasha and Abraham could stand on the back and look over the gate to give me some indication of exactly what we were walking back into. I heard them shoot a couple rounds then Abraham asked someone to open the gate, once the gate was opened I saw Glenn waving to me and nodding his head in the direction of the guard tower we built to keep watch where I saw Maggie was stuck.
I pulled up alongside it and Sasha and Abraham climbed up to help Maggie and Enid down, Glenn jumped into the front seat with me covered in blood.
"The hell happened?"
He looked at me in shock
"I don't know, I just got back"
We looked around again and then looked at each other,
"We need to get them all together maybe we can
I didn't let him finish,
"No, we draw them together all at once no more leaving this place."
I banged the roof and they all climbed down, so I climbed out and told my plan to Abraham who was nodding along. Somehow they all squeezed in the front of the truck with me on top of it with the Rocket Launcher. Once it was reversed enough I jumped down and opened the gas pipe to pull the gas into the lake, once that was down I climbed back up and shot the RPG into the lake, so it blew up.
I knew the light would draw the walkers away from the main part of Alexandria which is what we needed. I could see a group in front taking on the walkers and knew that Rick was making a stand.
I jumped down from the truck and got my knife out, instantly jumping in to help but also keeping an eye out for Harley. Once I realised I couldn't see her I started panicking, I knew my sister and I knew she wouldn't leave these people without helping so something must have happened.
It took us round about half hour to finish off all the walkers, I went to walk over to Rick when he dropped his axe and walked over to the house we use as the infirmary. So, I followed him wondering what had happened,
"Rick?"
He looked at me and the look he gave me I had only ever seen once and that was when we got attacked by Joe and his group and Carl was in danger.
"He's been shot!"
"What?"
"Carl! He's been shot! Denise is working on him now, I had to be out here I had to do something!"
I put my hand on his shoulder,
"He's gonna be alright man, it's Carl! He's a tough kid and he survived this far he's gonna be fine!"
He looked at me and nodded,
"You need to be inside Rick not out here there's nothing more we can do tonight go be with your son."
"I don't know what to do in there!"
"Just be there!"
He nodded his head and went to walk away,
"Rick have you seen Harley?"
"No sorry"
He walked away so I walked over to the others,
"Rick needs to be with Carl, the rest of you should go home and get some rest there's not much we can do while it's still dark so rest while you can."
They nodded their heads and went to walk away,
"Oh, has anyone seen Harley?"
They all shock their heads and carried on their ways. This had me extremely worried, so I walked straight to the house and straight to the room we shared. At first glance nothing was different except I noticed some of Harleys things were missing. I looked around the room and something on the pillow caught my attention, so I walked over to the bed and grabbed the paper opening it. What I read broke my heart, I always thought my sister would know she was the most important person to me in this world and yes things have been different between us for a long time but that's on me and I knew that I knew I had a lot to make up for but reading this letter made me realise I had more then I knew to make up for.
Daryl
I'm sorry brother but I can't stay where I'm not wanted anymore. I heard your conversation with Rick and that told me everything I needed to know if it came down to it these people will make you choose between me and them, and I know you well enough to know you would always choose this place and these people over me.
I never blamed you for anything, not even now. You are and always will be my big brother, my family.
I tried to fit in, I tried to be one of them but it's just not who I am. I never thought it would come to this though I never thought we would be placed in a situation where my big brother had to choose me or his second family. I can't ask you to make that choice Daryl, and I never would put you in the position to choose, so I'm making it for you.
I don't want to leave you if I had my way I would be with you always. If it was my choice I would always choose you like I always have done! You have always been the one person I could count on in life to protect me and to be there when I needed you. But somewhere along the way that changed and now you make a point to avoid me, I barely see you anymore and when I do your either with Carol or Rick and I get it I do, their you family too you have always had such a big heart big brother and I have always admired you for that.
But somewhere between the camp in Atlanta by the Quarry and here you've become just a memory for me, I don't know what I did or said to make you take this distance and I don't know why Rick and Carol were always around whenever I tried to get a little time with my big brother but for what it's worth I'm sorry!
There was a time in my life where I couldn't imagine living without you and Merle but now that's my reality.
Growing up with you and Merle I knew I would always be protected but that was when the world was normal before it all went to shit. Us Dixions always prided ourselves on our unbreakable bond which I guess none of us expected the end of the world to happen. I love you big brother and I always will, please remember that. Don't always be the hero Daryl don't let these people get you get killed because you will just be another life gone, another life wasted, another memory to fade, and none of those people will even care.
If I had a choice I would take you with me, but I can't ask you to leave a place where you are happy!
I love you big brother please stay safe and alive.
Harley
Reading this letter made me see the true extent of the hurt I had caused my baby sister! I never meant for any of this to happen, I never meant for her to hear the conversation between Rick and I, I never meant to grow so distant that my baby sister couldn't remember how much I love her and how much she means to me. I knew I had to find her because there is no way I am staying here without her shes my family regardless of what she thinks is between Rick and I and even Carol and I! I never noticed it until it was point out to me by Abraham, he once asked me why Carol and Rick were always around me when Harley was with me, and it never hit home until now.
I remember the conversation I had with Abraham like it was yesterday, he pulled me aside and asked me who Harley was to me and I told him she was my little sister and he asked me why we were never allowed to have time to ourselves because he had noticed whenever Harley walked over to me Carol would rush over to Rick, say something and then they would both look over to Harley it was something that had been brought to my attention at the prison once but at the time I didn't think anything of it because I thought the guy who said it was jealous because Harley wouldn't pay him any attention. But now looking back on it all the signs were there I just choose to ignore them and push it all aside when I should of put my foot down from the beginning and never let this shit come between us shes my baby sister for fuck sake!
Even when we first came to Alexandria they thought Carol was my sister and it should have been then that I made it clear that Harley was my sister, but I didn't I just scoffed and walked away and now I've possibly lost my sister because of those two and me!
I instantly jumped up from the bed and ran downstairs grabbing my crossbow on the way, opening the door, and running out bumping into Rick and Carol on the way.
"Whoa! Where's the fire?" Rick said and Carol was looking at me in a way that had me suspicious that had me thinking she knew Harley was gone and if she did that would be it for our friendship, I would never speak to her as anything other than part of this group she would be treated the same as everyone else.
"Harley's gone I'm gonna go get her back"
Rick looked at me in shock I also saw slight hint of guilt in his eyes, which to be honest he should feel guilty he had a hand in my sister leaving if anything happened to her I would never forgive myself or him
"What do you mean shes gone?"
"What the fuck you think I mean? She's gone Rick and it's all our fault! She heard our conversation earlier".
I didn't let them say anything and went to walk past them, but Rick stepped in front of me blocking my path. He put his hand on my chest and pushed me back slightly,
"Whoa! Daryl you can't just leave, we need you here!"
This had me stepping back from him, he did not just say that shit to me? How fucking dare, he say that shit to me! No way in hell would I stay here without Harley, no way would I relax without her being here or even knowing she was ok. Nah I was going to find her and bring her back and if this group didn't accept her from this moment on then fuck them we would both leave and not look back. The truth of it all was they needed me well us more then we both needed them.
"Harley needs me Rick, I have to go!"
"Daryl I get it, shes your sister but we need you here right now. I will go out with you in the morning and help you search for a bit but right now we need you here!"
If he thought that shit would work he had another thing coming, but before I could speak up Carol opened her mouth and to be honest she must of forgot who she was speaking to or she thought she had wormed her way in to my heart so much I wouldn't kick off about whatever shit she had to say about my baby sister! It also made me regret every time I let Carol and Rick come between us it made me regret all the hurt and pain I had caused her.
"Daryl, Harley chose to leave that's her choice, we're better off without her here anyway we've always been better off without her that's why me and Rick kept you away from her so much. You spent all your time making sure she was safe and protected when the group needed you! I even heard her say she would make you choose between us and her if she had too she said this to Carl I overheard them arguing and caught the end of it."
Crazy bitch say what now? I knew she was lying about Harley of course; Harley would never ask me to choose between her and the group I knew that because she left for the this very reason. And I knew she said Carl because Carl couldn't say whether it was true or not because his still unconscious from his gun shot. I knew Carol disliked Harley she always had done but I never thought she would make up shit about Harley.
"What the fuck did you just say?"
I took step towards her glaring at her, she must of seen something in my eyes because she took a step back in fear, so she placed herself right next to Rick with him standing partially in front her almost like he was protecting her from me. She must of thought Rick could stop me because she opened her mouth as soon as she was stood with him in front her and let me tell you the shit she was spewing is a fucking joke! This bitch did shit for the group, she relied on others for protection, she never did any runs for supplies, oh she looked after lil ass kicker every now and then but shit Harley and me were the main people who went hunting for food, bringing supplies back and all that jazz Carol did fuck all!
"Daryl she was taking you away from me I mean the group, whenever you went hunting with her she kept you out for too long, she flipped out on people when they said something she didn't agree with, her attitude rivalled Merle we had to put distance between you. She didn't like our friendship or how close we had become always telling me to stay away from you it would of got to the point where she would of asked you to leave this group and I couldn't have that, so I spoke to Rick who didn't actually have any concerns until I told him I overheard Harley saying to you that you should both leave. I came up with the idea for one of us to always be there and pull you away whenever she tried to speak to you. And the conversation she had with Carl; Rick needed to know about it I couldn't, I mean we couldn't have you leaving us."
I stood there fucking pissed at myself, at Rick, at the group but most of all fucking pissed at this bitch in front of me. How fucking dare, she tell me this bullshit, how dare she come between me and my sister so much that she cooked up this plan of destroying my relationship with my sister all because what? She's jealous of my relationship with my little sister! There had been many times Harley told me Carol was doing shit to pull us away from each other, but I always said she was seeing something that wasn't there but now with all this bullshit coming out Harley was obviously telling the truth. I just didn't understand why Carol had done this I had never given her any more attention than the rest of the group other than when I was looking for Sophia but that was more to do with a little girl being missing and not Carol!
I looked to Rick who was looking at Carol in shock, yeah brother you helped destroy my relationship with my little sister over some bullshit lies from a bitch who I should of stopped speaking to way back at the fucking farm. Rick then looked at me and I could see he was sorry for his part in all this, he truly believed what she told him, the thing is I knew what conversation she was talking about but she overheard wrong Harley was talking about leaving for a run with just me and her but going for a few weeks so we could go further out then we had ever gone. Before I could say anything Rick beat me to it,
"What the hell are you saying Carol? You lied to me? To all of us? You made us all believe Harley was the bad person and we treated her like shit!"
She looked at Rick with a smirk on her face which had me taking a step back, this bitch is crazy! I mean I tried to find her daughter all those years ago and maybe let her give me a stupid nickname but shit this bitch is crazy if she truly thinks she or anyone will come before Harley! I have fucked up big time with my baby sister, but I still had time to put it right and I was going to try like hell to fix it!
"Oh Rick! It was so easy to convince you all too, maybe you all actually wanted to believe Harley was the bad person so you could all put the blame on her of why none of you ever bothered with her!"
She had a point there, none of them ever bothered with Harley it was always her making the effort, even back at the Quarry camp we had it was always her. I shook my head and took a breath no matter what happened now I would always be there for my little sister! This had me thinking about Harley and Abraham's short friendship I wonder if this bitch had anything to do with that?
"What about Abraham? You have something to do with him leaving Harley also?"
She looked at me and I could not see an ounce of regret in her eyes what so ever, it was like she thought she did no wrong and that I wasn't being serious about going to find Harley.
"Yes Daryl that was my doing also, I told Abraham I heard Harley saying shit about Rosita and Sasha and he didn't like it so stopped speaking to her it didn't take all that much either so clearly he didn't really like Harley."
I couldn't say shit to that, this bitch would get hers once Harley was back for that I was sure so I just looked at Rick,
"Rick, I gotta go! I need to find Harley; I'm not letting her stay out there alone at night it ain't just walkers we got to worry about, but any fucker could find her out there!"
He looked at me and all I could see was regret on his face, I can't believe one conversation overheard wrongly by Carol lead to them all hating Harley and treating her like crap so much so that they did everything in their power to keep me and Harley separated. He finally nodded his head,
"Go find Harley, Daryl bring her home tell her she is always welcome here because this is her home, and we are her family. Tell her we have a lot to be sorry for and when she gets back I will make sure that's made up to her,"
"You got it."
With that I turned to walk away when Carol grabbed my arm,
"You can't be serious Daryl? We're all better off without that tramp around! Jesus all she ever did was pull you away from us, tell me to leave you alone and flipped out whenever she heard something she didn't like! She kept flirting with Rick even when Lori was around, then she wouldn't leave Abraham alone the girl was nothing but trouble, you can't bring her back!"
I ripped my arm out of her grasp and took a step closer to her, I had never hit a woman in my life, but this crazy bitch was really bringing me to the brink! Yeah Harley may of flirted, but it was never anything serious and Rick knew that, that was just who Harley was she even told Lori it was innocent and Lori was fine with it not that it would of bothered any of us if she wasn't she did after all cheat on Rick with Shane.
"Let me get something straight with you Carol! That tramp as you called her is my baby sister, she has not once tried to take me away from you or get me to leave the group. She may well have told you to stay away from me and if she did she obviously had a good reason too as clearly she didn't trust you and by this conversation I can see why! That girl is my only family, and I will do anything and everything to make up for all the hurt I've caused her and put her through because of your meddling and as for all that flirting bullshit she did that with everyone even the girls just not you!"
I nodded at Rick then stomped away, I got to the gate and saw Spencer on duty, I knew this dude had a crush on Harley, as he come to me a few days after being here and asked for my permission to ask her out, I said it was her decision. I was hoping he knew what way she went in because he always watched her until she was out of sight whenever he was on watch, he saw me and walked over to me,
"Are you going to bring Harley back? I tried to stop her, but she wouldn't listen to me."
Yeah my sister wasn't known for listening to anyone but me, and even that wasn't guaranteed she definitely had the Dixion attitude, but she wasn't as bad as Merle used to be nah she was more like me which I had always prided myself on, saying she took after me. I mean me and Merle did raise her, but it was more me as Merle was in and out of jail when she was younger.
"Yeah, I'm gonna bring her back know what way she went?"
"Yeah she walked for about twenty minutes then turned left into the woods after that I couldn't tell you."
"Right thanks."
"Yeah just bring her back where she belongs."
I nodded then walked over to the gate opening it and walking out I turned to make sure he closed it which he did then I made my way in the direction he said Harley went in.
Rick's POV, (I wasn't going to do many different POV's but thought a quick Rick POV, was needed)
Daryl walked away from us to go find Harley and I turned to look at Carol with nothing but disappointment on my face how could she manipulate us all so much to treat one of our own the way we did! I mean Harley never gave any of us any trouble, she did everything she could to bring us food and water, she even spent a lot of her time making sure Judith and Carl were fed and safe. She took a bullet that was meant for me, and her explanation was she couldn't let me die because I had Carl and Judith to worry about, she even saved Carl's life a few times. I know she would always give Carl food off her plate too its why she lost so much more weight then the rest of us, because she wasn't just doing it for Carl but Daryl too. I felt ashamed of myself, I felt disappointed that I had let Carol do this without questioning it more I just hoped Daryl was able to find her and bring her back because I knew if he didn't he wouldn't give up until he did.
I knew Carol was jealous, but I never knew it was to this point, yes Harley had flirted with me but I had flirted back it was just who she was, I had seen her do it with everyone not just me all expect Carol but that was before Carol told me all those lies about her and I stopped talking to her, Carl told me I was being unfair I think he had always liked Harley she was the only one willing to teach him self defence and how to use a knife properly.
"How could you do this Carol? I thought Daryl was your friend and you speak so much rubbish about his little sister that you have all of us convinced she was the bad person when she did nothing wrong. I treated her like shit when all she ever did was make sure my kids were safe, fed and looked after!"
She looked at me with nothing but disgust on her face, I mean I knew she was slightly messed up after Sophia, but this shit wouldn't fly. She went to speak when I raised my hand to stop her,
"I don't want to hear it right now, you can tell it to the group in ten minutes because I'm calling a meeting and you will be telling them all why you've done what you've done, don't think you will be getting away with this. I thought you were messed up when you killed David and Karen, but this is a whole new low even for you."
With that I walked to the house I was staying in with Carl, Judith and Michonne I opened the front door and walked in seeing Michonne on the couch. I Looked at her and smiled softly, I knew they were all as worried as me about Carl but right now all we could do was wait for him to wake up because as much as I wanted to sit with him right now I had to fix this whole Harley situation cause if I didn't then we would lose Daryl and Harley and it would be our fault not hers.
"I need you to get our group together, just us meet me at the church in five."
I didn't even let her speak just walked back out of the house and made my way to the church, I entered the church and found Gabrielle sat on one of the pews he turned to look at me when he heard me enter.
"Can I have the church for a bit?"
He nodded his head and stood up, there wasn't any need for him to be present at this meeting because he hadn't been treating Harley any different than the rest of us.
"Of course, Rick, is everything ok?"
"Yeah, I just have to fix a situation with my group."
He looked at me for a moment then nodded his head,
"You're talking about Harley right?"
This had me looking at him in shock!
"Yeah, what do you know?"
"Nothing, I've just seen how bad your group treats her. I asked Carol about it once and she told me Harley was a trouble maker that she did nothing but drag the group down. I was confused by her answer because from what I had seen from Harley she was none of those things, she had done everything in her power to bring us food and water and on many occasions I saw her give Carl and Judith her food and water rations."
This had me frowning and feeling even more guilty, I had noticed Harley giving her rations to my children but I didn't know she was giving them her water rations also! I did see her always leaving for a hunt trying to find anything she possibly could to bring back for food and I had noticed her always being more vigilant around Carl and Judith but to know she had been giving my children her rations of food and water it made everything even more real for me, I had to make this right for when Daryl brings her back I had to make sure everyone knew the truth. I looked at Gabrielle with nothing but guilt on my face,
"I know about the food rations, but I didn't know anything about the water rations! I knew she hunted more especially once we got here to Alexandria, but I never once questioned it or asked her if she was ok I just thought it was better her not being here because of all the crap Carol told me which now I've found out is a lie and I let it all get so out of hand some leader I have been for Harley no wonder she dislikes me! You can stay Gabrielle I might actually need you to tell us all what Carol told you."
Before he could say anything the doors opened up and Michonne walked in with Maggie, Glenn and Carol and even brought Abraham, Tara, Rosita, and Sasha which is good because I knew Carol had told them lies also. But seeing so few from our original group had me feeling a loss I hadn't felt since Lori died seeing all the loss we had suffered put everything into focus for me we needed Daryl and Harley here we had lost too many people already! They all looked at me, so I took a deep breath and waved my hand for them to come to the front,
"Everyone take a sit we need to talk!"
They all walked forward and took a pew, Michonne speaking up,
"What's going on Rick?"
"It seems we've been lied to and played by a member of this family so we would single out another member of this family and cause that member so much hurt that they've actually left!"
It was Abraham that spoke up,
"You talking about Harley?"
"Yes I am! It seems a trusted member of this group has told us all lies since the farm and because of those lies Harley has now left us and Daryl has left to look for Harley to hopefully bring her back home."
They all looked at each other then back to me it was Maggie who spoke up this time,
"Who Rick? And what lies?"
I pointed to Carol,
"Carol! Everything she's ever said about Harley has been lies, but I'm going to let her tell you all and then she's going to tell you all why she did it,"
Daryl's POV, An I wasn't going to do anyone else's pov but Daryl and Harley until later in the story but I felt that this bit was needed. So now I'm doing a time skip, Daryl has been out looking for Harley or any signs of her for close to six hours, its now early morning.
Me and Merle certainly trained Harley well to hide her tracks! Not seen any, not even a little scuffle that could be her. I have been walking for close to six hours looking for her and not having any luck but I wasn't about to give up because I needed to find her to make this shit right I had to make it right! I was brought out of my thoughts by the groaning made by walkers so I slowed down my walking being as quiet as I could be when I came across three walkers all eating away at a body that was laid on the ground from where I was stood I could see it was a girls body and that had me pulling my crossbow off my shoulder and shooting them all before they could see I was there.
I dropped my crossbow and rushed over pull all the bodies off her, I knelt down and turned the body over to the back so I could see the front and my heart dropped instantly. I was too late! My little sister was dead! The body was badly hurt and you could just make out the face but there was bad bruising to it, the hair colour was the mousey blond I was used to seeing with my little sister there was a small chance it wasn't Harley so I grabbed the arm and pushed the sleeve up, Harley had a birth mark that was in the shape of a princess crown it was the main reason me and Merle called her princess when she was younger.
This body had a birth mark, but the arm was so badly gnawed on I couldn't tell you what the mark was in the shape of! But I didn't need anything else to tell me this was Harley! My baby sister was dead, and it was my fault because I had failed to protect her. I grabbed her body and pulled her to my chest bursting out in tears how could I let this happen to my baby sister!
I smoothed the hair from her face and cupped her cheek placing a kiss on her forehead not worrying once about the blood.
"I'm so sorry baby girl! Please come back to me Harls!"
I sat that for hours just holding her body to my chest, when I finally had to move because it started raining, I picked her body up bridal style and made my way out of the forest to the road hoping to find a car on the way back to Alexandria so I could berry my little sister. I walked for two hours when I finally came across a car, I put Harley's body down on the side of the road and made my way to the car checking for walkers inside, once it was clear I hotwired the car, I left it running while I went back to pick up Harley, I laid her in the back of the car and got into the front seat putting my foot down immediately.
The tears just wouldn't stop, not that I wanted them too I deserved this pain after what I put Harley through this was my punishment for pushing for my little sister away. It took two hours to get back to Alexandria, I flashed the lights once I saw the gate and opened my window popping my head out so they could see it was me. Once the gate was opened I sped through, I turned off the car and just sat there for a moment I was truly alone now! I looked back at Harley wishing with everything in me this wasn't true, wishing with all my love she would just wake up and smile at me and tell me she loves me, I must have been sat there for too long because I saw Rick and the group making their way to me, so I opened the door and got out,
"Daryl?" I looked up and saw Rick waving his hand at me, I just walked to the back of the car opened the door and reached in gently pulling Harley into my arms. Once I stood up and made my way from the car they saw what I was carrying and I could see the shock on all their faces, Rick took a step towards me when I heard Glenn speak up,
"Daryl is she?"
He couldn't say the word, but I knew what he was asking, I looked at all of them and went to speak when my legs gave up and I fell to my knee's with Harleys body held tightly in my arms. I pulled her head to my chest and the sob that broke through my chest in that moment terrified me because I knew I would never be the same again. Rick rushed over to me dropping to his knee's in front of me putting his hand on my shoulder and placing his other hand on the back of Harleys head.