EPIPHANY

Ron Weasley was confused. Confused, bewildered, disturbed, frightened, thrilled, disappointed, exhilarated; all of these feelings and more were whirling around in his head. He sat by himself in the common room after dinner trying to work on the essay due in McGonagall's class on Monday but found there was no way he could concentrate on any of this. He had too many thoughts bouncing around in his head. He also thought that this was not how he wanted to spend Saturday night after winning the Quidditch match that morning, only Harry was off with Dumbledore and Hermione was nowhere to be found. He hadn't seen her at dinner either.

He still couldn't believe he had played so well today without really taking the felix felicis potion. Harry had fooled him completely, but the feeling of actually doing so well was exhilarating. He really did it all on his own! Ron smiled as he remembered the chants of "Weasley is our King!" that reverberated around the stadium as he saved almost every shot that Slytherin took during the match. He vowed to himself to always remember how well he did when feeling confident. From now on he'd be confident he was sure.

Ron replayed in his mind the celebration after the victory, how everyone carried him into the common room on their shoulders shouting praises and compliments to him. He had never been more happy.

But then he recalled, everything changed. Ron put his head in his hands and closed his eyes as he replayed the events that happened after he was set back down on the floor. Where did Lavender Brown come from and why was she kissing him? Ron remembered the thrill of his first real snog and how amazing it was to think a pretty girl might actually fancy him. Ron also remembered how quickly the common room got quiet after he and Lavender broke apart and how disappointed he felt when he saw how quickly Harry and Hermione had disappeared. Suddenly the thrill of the snog wasn't so thrilling, and he wasn't quite sure what was happening as Lavender grabbed his hand and led him out the portrait hole.

And that was when Ron realized everything got weird and confusing. Lavender dragged him into an empty classroom only they found that it wasn't empty. He briefly saw Hermione and Harry and he could swear he saw Hermione crying before he suddenly had to dodge these little yellow birds that were attacking him. Ron and Lavender had ran out as quickly as they could.

When they stopped running and went to catch their breath, Ron finally recognized what was happening. He had just snogged a girl he had no feelings for and had just been attacked by his best friend.

Still bent over with his hands on his knees and breathing hard, Ron gathered his thoughts…'What in Merlin's saggy bollocks is going on here? Why is this girl I hardly know kissing me? We've never really said much other than hello to each other. What the hell am I doing. Why is she kissing me?'

He stood up and smiled at Lavender and said as politely as he could, "Hey Lavender, what are we doing? You don't fancy me and I don't really know you so what the hell are we doing. Don't get me wrong, the snogging was nice, but I'm confused as to what is going on?"

Lavender gave her sweetest smile as she walked over to Ron and took his hands. "Oh, but I do fancy you Ron. I have for a while, and I would love to be your girlfriend."

Ron dropped her hands and ran one hand through his hair and the other rubbed the back of his neck. He could also feel his ears going red. This was getting even more disturbing. He had no real interest in being Lavender's boyfriend, even if it might make Hermione jealous, but he realized that being her boyfriend would probably be more trouble than it was worth. Ron knew that even though Hermione had snogged Krum, she never really was his girlfriend. No, it wasn't worth it, Ron knew he really couldn't be Lavender's boyfriend, but wasn't sure what to say. It was all so confusing.

The longer Ron hesitated the more annoyed Lavender got. "Well, are you going to say something? Do want to be together and be my boyfriend? It's not that hard a question!"

Ron gave Lavender a small smile and said softly and he took her hands, "Lavender, you're a beautiful girl and I'm flattered that you fancy me, but I think it best if we just stay friends. I enjoyed the snog, but I just don't think I'm the right guy for you."

Lavender frowned and whimpered, "but what if I think you are the right guy for me?"

Ron leaned over and gave her a short kiss on the cheek. "No, we would never work anyway, but thanks." He then let go of her hands and gestured back toward the Gryffindor dorm. "Let's head back, it's almost dinner time."

Reluctantly, Lavender let go of his hands and walked back toward the portrait hole. She looked over at Ron and said quietly, "It's Hermione, isn't it? You fancy Hermione."

Ron looked over and said simply, "I don't know, it's all so confusing."

So Ron returned to the present out of his memories and was still bewildered. He thought back to the birds that came from Hermione. 'Why would his best friend attack him like that? Why was she crying and what made her so angry? Was it because she was wrong about Harry giving him the liquid luck potion or was it something else? Where was she anyway? He really needed to talk to her.'

Ron looked over at Ginny who was playing exploding snap with Neville and Seamus. There was someone that might know where Hermione was.

"Hey Gin, do you know where Hermione is?"

Ginny looked up with a smirk. "No, but think for a second, where does she always go?"

Ron stood and smacked himself on the forehead, "Blimey, how could I not realize that she must be in the library?"

Ginny didn't even look up as she replied, "Duh!"

Ron took off to the library, still confused and bewildered, but thinking more about what would make Hermione so angry. It wasn't the liquid luck, it couldn't be because they won the match and that he, Ginny, and Harry had played well. It couldn't be because he had kissed Lavender and she was jealous.

Ron suddenly stopped and leaned his head against the wall. 'Wait a minute, wait a minute,' he thought to himself. 'What if it was because I kissed Lavender? What is she was jealous? Does that mean she might fancy me as much as I fancy her? It would explain everything.'

As if a light bulb went off in his head, it all became clear. Hermione had run off as soon as he kissed Lavender. Harry must know that Hermione fancied him because he disappeared to go comfort her. Hermione was crying and angry at him because of the kiss! It had to be! Ron no longer felt confused, but he still felt a bit overwhelmed. What do I do now?

Ron could almost hear Harry in his head saying, "Go talk to her."

Ron pulled his head up from the cool stone wall and resumed his journey to the library. He just hoped to Merlin that she was there and would talk to him. As he entered the library he looked over at Hermione's favorite table and let out a deep sigh. She was there.

He walked up quietly and sat across from her, waiting for her to look up. After several moments, it seemed that she was ignoring him so he gently tapped her on the wrist.

"Hermione?" he asked in a whisper. "Can we talk?"

Hermione didn't look up but continued to write on her parchment. Ron heard her say "wouldn't you rather be talking, or should I say snogging your girlfriend?"

Ron ignored her comment and asked again "Hermione, please. I need to know why you were so angry that you attacked me with those birds."

Ron saw Hermione drop her quill and then her head sagged down and he thought he heard a quiet sniff.

Still not looking up, Hermione said in a halting voice, "I'm, uhm, I'm sorry Ron, I shouldn't have done that. I'm sorry, I hope you weren't hurt. I'm really sorry"

"No, I'm fine, it's ok. I just want to know why you were so mad. If it were me, I'd have to be really really angry with you to do something like that, and I don't know for sure what I did, but I think I have an idea. Can we go somewhere and talk? Please?"

Hermione reluctantly picked up her stuff and books and placed them all into her overstuffed book bag. She still refused to make eye contact with her best friend.

"Ok Ron, I guess so, I guess we have to do this, I don't want to, but ok."

Ron led them from the library down the hall to one of the unused classrooms they always searched when doing their prefect rounds. Opening the door he waited for her to enter, as Hermione was slowly following him, seemingly dragging her feet.

"thanks" she murmured almost robot-like as she walked through the door and placed her bag on the floor and sat at one of the desks. Finally she looked up at Ron and he could see the tracks of tears on her cheeks.

"I'm so sorry Ron, I shouldn't have attacked you like that, what you do is not my business and I shouldn't have done that. Sorry."

"Hermione," Ron said as he walked over and kneeled in front of her desk. Looking at her he asked, "why are you upset and why were you so angry?"

"Oh Ron," she said softly, "do we really have to talk about this? Can't I just say I'm sorry and we forget about all this?"

"Hermione, you're my best friend and I get upset when you're upset, so I really want to understand, so maybe you don't have to talk for a minute and just listen to me for a short time and then we can leave, ok?"

"Ok," Ron heard her soft reply as she looked down again at her desk.

"Ok, Hermione, here's what I think. I think you were as angry as I would be if I heard from someone else that you had snogged Victor Krum. I was very angry when I heard that and it seemed that you're reaction is kinda the same. As mine was. I was so hacked off I didn't know what to do."

Hermione's head shot up and she looked even more angry than before. "Who told you that? You weren't supposed to know!"

Ron gave a weak smile at her. "Oh, so it is true then?"

Hermione took a deep breath and shrugged her shoulders and looked back down at the desk. "Yes, Victor kissed me, but it was hardly a snog. We shared three short and what I would call chaste kisses that whole year. Who told you? Was it Ginny? She was the only one that knew and she swore she'd never tell you."

"Doesn't matter. That's all passed and I've already gotten over it. Harry talked some sense into me and made me realize that I had no right or claim to you since I had never expressed my feelings to you, so I really had no right to be angry."

"You were angry when you she told you?"

"Very, just like you were today."

"Oh."

"Ok, yeah, uhm, Hermione, were you angry at me because Lavender kissed me? Were you jealous? Is that why you set those birds on me?"

Hermione closed her eyes and covered her face with her hands. After several moments of silence Ron saw her give a very small nod. Ron heard her give a small sniff but nothing more.

Ron stood and walked to her side and placed his hand around her shoulders. He dropped down to his knees again and whispered in her ear, "so, Hermione, you must fancy me then, if you were jealous, right?"

Again Ron saw her give a small nod. Several moments passed again in silence

But then she raised her head and looked at Ron with some defiance on her face. "Go ahead Ron, go ahead and laugh at me and then go back to your girlfriend. I'm sure Lavender is looking for you. Let me just sit here and be humiliated, you can go back and snog her some more."

Ron smiled and said softly as he took her hands in his. "I don't have a girlfriend, Hermione, at least not yet."

Hermione looked puzzled and yanked her hands from his. "What do you mean? I saw you run off with Lavender."

"Yes, you did," Ron said as he laughed softly. "But you didn't see what happened after I dodged those birds of yours."

"So, Ronald what happened may I ask?"

"You would be proud of me Hermione, I think you'll be proud as I actually stopped and thought about what was happening instead of just going along. I stopped realized that I didn't really like what was happening. Rather than just go along with it, I actually stopped to think."

"Ok, that's good I guess, but I don't understand."

"I realized I was kissing the wrong girl for the wrong reasons. The kissing just felt wrong."

"What are you saying Ron?"

"I'm saying that I said no when Lavender asked me to be her boyfriend. It didn't seem right to be kissing a girl I had no interest in and it would be wrong to be her boyfriend."

Hermione gave a slight grin and her eyes brightened just a bit. "So what happened next?"

"So after dinner I went to look for you and suddenly I had an epiphany, and yes I know what that word means."

"Ok, Ronald, what was this great epiphany?"

Ron stood and took Hermione's hands in his and brought her up so she was standing directly in front of him. "I finally understood that the girl I've loved since third year might actually have feelings for me as well, otherwise why would she have acted like she was jealous?"

Hermione just stared at Ron and started to tremble just a bit.

"I understood that I needed to find you and finally confess to you that I love you Hermione and have half a hope that you might love me too."

Hermione started to speak but Ron cut her off by softly bringing his lips to hers and wrapping his long arms around her. Ron was pleased to realize that Hermione was kissing him back and she too had wrapped her arms around his waist.

Ron pulled back and smiled. "Now that is what a kiss should feel like. Was that ok, Hermione? I hope I haven't messed things up between us."

Hermione smiled and said as she pulled him down for another kiss, "more than ok."

Ron pulled her tighter and deepened the kiss as it developed into a full blown snog. Ron loved the little 'hmmm' sounds they were both making. After a few moments they broke apart to breathe and both started giggling and grinning at each other.

"Wow, Hermione, that was amazing. That's what a snog should be. I regret that I was not your first kiss, and you weren't mine, but I hope that I'm your last first kiss. I never want to kiss another girl for the rest of my life."

Hermione slapped her hand on Ron's chest as he continued to hold her as she smiled up at him. "Oh Ron," she said as she laid her head on his shoulder. "Why do we always do things the hard way?"

"I don't know, but I hope it will be easier from now on. Hermione Jean Granger, will you be my girlfriend. I love you and want to be with you in every way."

"Oh Ronald, I love you too and yes I was jealous and I'm still sorry I sent those birds at you and yes, I will be your girlfriend."

Ron grinned from ear to ear and took her hand in his and led them from the classroom. He couldn't wait to tell Harry.