Hey, I'm sorry I never made another story.

I had and still have a lot on my plate such as my newly appointed full-time paid job every all five weekdays from morning to evening, a lot of new games I haven't played yet, etc.

But right now, at this point, starting today with this FanFic, I'm dealing with these new changes right now.

So, enjoy the story I wrote. Might be one-shot.

P.S. I do not own the game series Persona nor Shin Megami Tensei.

P.P.S. If you want to hear some music in this, here's a few suggestions.

Confrontation with my Other Self: Whatever evil music from Persona 4 or 5.

Beating my Shadow Self: Ohma Zi-O music.

Consoling Myself: Emma's Sorrow from the Promised Neverland combined with the Shionne Confession music from Tales of Arise.

Accepting Myself: Tales of Arise's Season 2 Opening Song

Me and My Shadow - Zyxa

I wake up in a dark empty place right after I slept soundly for a rest to, I dunno, find myself... No doubt this must be a dream... And there he is... that figure looking so high and mighty on a comfy couch-like office chair with his legs on the side of the bed while he fiddles with not just the laptop, but also has a Nintendo Switch by the side of his desk... Yes, there's no questioning it when he looked at me with a smug grin and glowing yellow eyes... That is my Shadow Self.


Shadow Zyxa: Hm… So you finally decided to talk to me and like this? You hardly ever write even in your FanFiction. 'Cause your full-time paid job is in the way, gaming is in the way, even your friends are in the way.

He talks about those things as I analyzed my situation. No doubt, after today when I'm not feeling like myself, I realized... I must face myself and accept whatever negativity I've been hiding inside me.

Zyxa: … That's not true! The last part I mean! Okay, I ignored you for so long, but you can't just say that I didn't want to write my fanfic so much just because I have paid work and friends online!

Shadow Zyxa: And do your friends actually care about you on all that? Did they come to comfort you that their lives are harsh too? That they're suffering as much as you are!?

Zyxa: They messaged me! And don't you dare talk about them like that! They're-

Shadow Zyxa: Ahahahaha… Me talk about them like that? Don't you mean you?

Zyxa: Wh-What?

Shadow Zyxa: You're defending your friends while I speak ill about them, but really you're fighting with yourself. That's right, you're the one who is badmouthing them.

This guy is really pissing me off. But I can't help that he might be right. For one whole month, I neither got any replies from a friend or few nor did I hang out with any of them as they were too busy with their own thing, but I can't blame them. They have their own lives, I can't force them to be only with me! I'll have to disagree with my Shadow Self.

Zyxa: To hell with that! I came to face you, but all you're doing is spouting some bad stuff about my friends! What gives you the right to say such things while resembling me!?

Shadow Zyxa: Isn't it obvious? You played Persona before, haven't you? Then you oughta accept me, but even if you do so... What's to say I can do the same for you!?

Wh-What!? He won't accept me even if I...?

Zyxa: Huh? What are you?

I got my answer when he revealed a black and red belt with a device in the middle of it. It looks high-tech and reminds me of a certain time-elemental Tokusatsu... as he puts his hands to its sides before striking them with his palms.

ShadowZyxa: ... Henshin..!

With that familiar phrase, he was enveloped and equipped in black armor with red neon lines, it looked like a Tokusatsu hero from an MMORPG game in rage mode, and his yellow eyes still shone in his masked helmet. He then took out a huge cannon and wielded it like a big sword yet he's holding it like it's lightweight!

ShadowZyxa: I am a Shadow, the true self... well, you know the rest, so get on with it!

Zyxa: Yeah... I guess I do...

With that, I did the same since this a dream, a white and blue belt materializing around my waist as I tap onto the side pads to activate my own transformation.

Zyxa: Henshin!

And just like that, I was equipped in armor similar to my shadow, except it was colored white with blue neon lines. I drew a huge cannon myself like a giant sword only I don't need any effort to lift it! That finishes whatever heroic pose I was doing when transforming.

Shadow Zyxa: Alright then... time to die!

He says that as we charge at each other to clash our weapons together.

Zyxa: Nobody's dying or neither of us can exist!

Shadow Zyxa: Not like you want to continue living yourself!

When he said that, I lost my focus and he got the better of me in our clash, but thank the game, KH, for reaction timing! I slipped past his ongoing next attack!

Zyxa: I don't want to die! Not here, not anywhere! I hate dying! And if I die now, all of my struggling in my life wouldn't be worth it!

Shadow Zyxa: But of course, you don't want to die. You don't seek death, you seek punishment for whatever bad deeds you had committed.

... He was right, I had done some things I wasn't proud of... Lashing out at the wrong times, thinking negatively about others, being pessimistic about the future... I couldn't help but feel the feral instinct to talk back at them to teach them a lesson. I can't stand it and charged up the cannon I wield.

Zyxa: I-I... Sh-Shut up!

As I exclaimed that, I fired my cannon, but it turned out he did the same and without me knowing, was I imagining he had that charged!? The two beams collided and a lot of dust and smoke was made from said explosion. Then without warning, my Shadow Self charged at me, whacking me with that big cannon which now changed into a key-shaped sword!

Shadow Zyxa: You know, you claim to be good friends with those you met online, and despite your parents' worrisome thoughts that they might be strangers, you somewhat buttered them up for freebies! Art, stories, stuff in which you have neither talent nor speed for them just because of your stress! But that's what kept you going, isn't it!? Stress from your work, pressuring expectations from your family, turning backs from friends who start to have it with you! Everything that pisses you off! And you can't help but feel like being angry and cry, needing someone to talk to and they understand your pain, only for them to shoulder whatever self-suffering you went through! Effectively ruining their lives as you think!

I'm starting to have it with my Shadow Self! I transformed my cannon into a key-shaped sword itself and countered at him.

Zyxa: Talk... Stress... Pissing me off...? You want me to speak up about those things!? You said you're supposed to be me, right!? But I guess you wouldn't understand, care or accept what we're both going through this year!

After ranting that out, he stopped for some reason, allowing me to strike him down. I panted and felt some kind of pain in my chest... Must be my heart wanting to cry... Then, my Shadow Self looked down as he was on one knee, looking surprisingly calm.

Shadow Zyxa: Understand what? What exactly wouldn't we understand?

Zyxa: How my friends might not want to see me ever again one day! All because of my bad choices! Maybe you're right that they wouldn't understand what it's like to feel like all my life is nothing but physical stress and everlasting emotional torment! They claim to understand and care, but I feel like they don't at all! How can they if they're not me? What good is comforting me if my friends can't directly see what my life is in first-person?

Letting out all that guilt, rage, and sorrow within me felt good for some reason... But I also feel sad from it all, and yet I feel somewhat relieved to speak all that out. Tears must be flowing out from my face from it all.

Shadow Zyxa: ...

My Shadow Self seems to listen to me... Could he... Want to reaffirm our friendship with everyone even if it means some end results may not turn out perfectly?

Zyxa: ...

Shadow Zyxa: I only wanted to see and talk to them some more... I only want to spend time with them no matter how far we are... I only want to share ideas they've never thought up before...

I'm starting to feel for my other self, so I walked to him with my hand on his shoulder.

Zyxa: Because we were inspired by them, right? And that was when we grew up in our lives, wasn't it?

Now my other self was tearing up himself as he confess somethings too.

Shadow Zyxa: But in the end... we are just petty freeloaders. Trying to force people into making things we imagine, all to look at the awesomeness of their designs from our ideas... We didn't care if it wasn't done by us ourselves... Because of our burden in our life...

Zyxa: And in the end or rather... At this point, we're starting to wonder if it's worth going on to look towards the future?

Shadow Zyxa: ...

He said nothing, but nodded. I understand that much. And you know what...?

Zyxa: Nothing is perfect, but nothing has to be perfect. And our friends truly do care. I guess we're not just scared of our friends blocking or unfriending us just because we request and pester them on about ideas... We're just scared of our own actions and therefore afraid our own selves, then our friends might leave us all alone with no one to turn to and hear out our issues and sorrows. It's us, we need to accept ourselves as who we are and what will happen for us. But we must also vow to try and do better in the future. That's why we're growing up. Why I'm growing up... With you. Because you... Are me. And I... Am you.

With that, my Shadow Self nodded, stood up, taking off his helmet (so did I), and we hugged (Platonically just so you know!). Then he glowed a bright blue and floated up, transforming into a blue and gold armored mecha-like humanoid spiritual figure... Huh... So this is... My Persona.

Well then... Time to wake up.

I know it seems sudden and random, but I've been going through a lot for myself this first and now second month of the new year of 2022.

But I am feeling much better after from writing this! I assure you all!

So whatever troubles you're struggling along the way in your lives, don't give up!

If a part of you wants to give up and stop caring, don't give into it! Instead, open up to others about your problems and maybe they'll understand you!

They might even accept you for who you are inside and out, good and bad. All in balance.

Well then, see you all and be well.