(Hey guys just wanted to say I'm new to this whole fanfiction thing and would love to hear some feedback, there are 2 reasons I made this fanfic 1. The lack of madness combat fanfics. 2. I couldn't find anyone that could make this so I just went "Fine I'll do it myself."

Also before anybody comes for my neck something I would like to make clear in this universe is the Improbability drives and users of improbability drives get some unique buffs, one of the more specific ones is their ability to 'defy' the Authorities of the Witches. This and the way the Improbability drive messes with reality caused some of the witches to be heavily debuffed.

Also, I need a beta reader.)

Chapter 1- Avenger

He was given a second chance...

Somewhere in Nevada...

There is an old facility out in the middle of a desert that acts as the office of the sheriff with two grunts guarding the front door each one holding an assault rifle. One of the grunts took out a cigarette and lit it before taking a deep drag and exhaling the smoke. It was just another day for him and the other grunt who was on guard duty today. "I'm going on break." The cigarette smoking grunt said to the other grunt as he walked off. The grunt just shrugged and continued to stand watch.

The grunt then proceeded to walk inside and go down the halls, as he's walking a vent from above and behind him opens up and a figure drops down, his head is bandaged, and he is wielding two knives. This man is Hank J. Wimbleton and he is on a simple mission. Kill the Sheriff.

He snuck up behind the guard and stick his knives into the temple and heart of the Smoking Grunt

Then another grunt entered through the doorway and without any hesitation Hank threw one of his knives square into the face of the new guard killing him instantly.

"You alright pal?" The Grunt said from outside but as soon as he laid eyes on hank he found a knife dug into his chest from the killer. He fell to the floor dead. Hank then walked over to the dead grunt and picked up his rifle then took his knives out of the two grunts' bodies, before continuing to the next door, "Three" Hank says to himself. Where one grunt was standing guard his back facing towards the door while two other grunts were playing cards and having some liquor.

Entering the door the grunt standing guard turned around only to have his face and neck sliced while the other two grunts got out of their game. Hank quickly used the surprise to his advantage and once again threw his knife square in the face of one of the grunts while the other picked up an ax on the ground. But once again hank just threw his knife and... killed him with the handle part of it. Unfortunately, Hank's surprise strike only lasted so long as the facility now aware of his presence had grunts walk in to investigate. Hank quickly used his rifle to gun down the first few grunts walking through the front.

One of the grunts flipped the table over to act as a makeshift barrier, and attempted to fire at Hank with his Glock... but Hank rushed at the table and used his momentum to make the table crush the grunt underneath it. Several grunts then started coming through the back door as Hank stood on top of the table and began to fire at them draining all the ammo he has into them. Before throwing his gun at the last grunt with enough force to kill him.

Soon another grunt came into the room holding a dagger as Hank picked up his knife. The Grunt attempted to stab Hank only for his blade to be deflected and to receive a punch and stab to the face. Meanwhile, an unarmed Grunt attempted to sneak behind Hank while he was doing this only to be met with a back fist to the face. A few more grunts entered the room while Hank picked up his second knife, and he quickly began to slaughter them.

Next to the carnage were two grunts one on the back and one on the front which Hank quickly dispatches with his Knife throwing skills finally Hank beats to death one more unarmed grunt before going into the next room "Twenty" Hank counted to himself as he picked up the dropped ax. The next room had two grunts, one unarmed and one with a machete. They were nothing to Hank as he quickly hacked them. A second Grunt came from around the corner as Hank threw the ax square into his head and made him bleed out.

A couple more grunts came into the room, and Hank quickly beat one to death, took another blade, and stabbed him in the eye. Then he quickly finished off the other grunt and picked up the baton as two more grunts joined in, one with a bad and one with a kitchen knife. Yet again Hank just stabbed them to death with ease while finally a Grunt with a Glock entered and took aim... but before he could fire Hank threw the Baton with such force that it impaled the poor grunt's skull.

"Twenty-nine" Hank counted to himself as he looked up into a security camera and smiled "Wow Sheriff can't believe you planned a party for me! Why don't you come down here and join in?"

Somewhere in the facility was an office with two figures. One was a man wearing a cowboy hat and a long coat, and a badge that says 'Sheriff' on it. The Sheriff was looking into the monitor seeing how easily Hank killed his men. The figure in the corner had a short beard, a bald spot on the top of his head, and a halo that floated over him. "Shit!" The Sheriff said to himself, the figure in the corner says "Calm down Sheriff... as long as I'm here your safe... don't do anything drastic yet!" "SHUT YER MOUTH JEBUS! I hired you to be a bodyguard! NOT MY DEPUTY! And last I checked you got bested by Hank before." The Sheriff said before opening a small hatch that contained a red button, below the button were the words "Improbability Drive." Jebus then said "We don't know what that Device does y-" "Shut up!" the Sheriff interrupted before continuing, "The Big Boss said that this Device should help kill Hank, so I'm gonna try it now!" "No! You're not to use that thing! Not until we know exactly what it does!" The sheriff said. "I don't care! If it helps me get rid of Hank then I'll risk it!" Pushing the button as he said.

The Improbability Drive has been activated.

On this day the boundaries of reality and normality have been shattered as Nevada disappears off the face of the earth

Meanwhile, in a peaceful field, not on earth, an entire nation was temporarily evacuated in preparation for what is viewed as a catastrophic event... the Witches Tea party.

The seven witches have gathered around... Greed, Envy, Pride, Sloth, Wraith, Lust, and Gluttony. Sekhmet the Witch of Sloth was the first to speak up. "Echidna... why did you call us all here," She said while sighing. Echidna replied, "Because I want to talk about something important." "I see..." Sekhmet sighed and said, "What is it... can't you tell we all have something better to do..."

Then Echidna stood up and said, "As of lately I have been reading into my book of wisdom, trying to look into the future to see what events would unfold... and as I thought it was working fine for a while." Echidna opened the book and the words perfectly described every event that happened leading up to the tea party. "However... the book seemed to stop at that point..." Echidna said as she turned the page to reveal something truly strange... the next page on the prophetic book repeated these lines "ERROR: REALITY COMPROMISED: Source: Improbability Drive".

The seven witches were confused. From the way the words were arranged "Improbability Drive" it was clear that there was something wrong with the book. This made no sense. They had never heard of such a thing. No one had ever seen or heard of anything like this before.

Minerva the witch of wraith stood up and said "Echidna what is the meaning of this? Improbability Drive? Error? I don't understand what this is about." Echidna then smiled and said "Well... I was about to get to that, even with all my knowledge I've never heard of something called an 'Improbability Drive' however, from what I can guess... I'd say that this 'Improbability Drive' is going to cause some kind of cataclysmic event to occur."

Minerva suddenly went dead silent. "What?" She asked. "Is this true? How are you certain of this"

"Yes, Minerva, it is true. I have no idea what it is but judging from how the book of wisdom led up to this I can tell it."


Echidna keeping up her unnerving smile looked at Minerva and said "Oh go ahead, you all can go do what you want, stopping it, postponing it... I just want to know what happens, what secrets can be found from such an event."

Minerva looked back at Echidna with disgust and said "You're a fool! You are willing to risk the fate of the world for your curiosity!?"

"It is my nature after all," Echidna replied with her signature smile.

After this event, the witches all went their separate ways as Echidna looked back at her book and flipped through some pages... it was all the same message until one page said something slightly different. "ERROR: REALITY COMPROMISED: The Clown has been engaged."


The effects of the Improbability Drive were immediate. All of the reality across Nevada began to glitch and what felt like a brief earthquake occurred before it all stopped, however, things were different, while everything was all desert-like in the state of Nevada initially sudden forests appeared, cities became a mishmash of modern America and what looked like a fantasy renaissance era town. It was as if the world had been turned upside down and shaken up, and it was very much apparent that the entire state of Nevada had been transported to another world.

Even then this was just the beginning of the Chaos to come. With the Improbability Drive active, things that shouldn't happen did, and often with great tragedy and loss.

However, Hank did not care about what was happening at all and simply continued doing what comes naturally to him.

As Hank stood back up after the ground was being shacky he looked out a window briefly to see that a part of the building was... flying? But before he could process it he turned his attention to a grunt that was raising an ax on him before he punched the grunt and watched as he... bounced off the wall and... hit the roof before dying. Then another grunt came, flying? Into the room before landing face-first into the camera while another grunt carrying an Uzi came in normally.

Hank sighed and hit the Uzi carrying soldier on his chin with a bat knocking him to the roof before turning around and noticing half of the room was being slowly cut off as if by a blow torch before turning around towards the former flying grunt knocking him down as half of the room fell out of the sky. As he kept hitting two more grunts...

Suddenly flying up in a jetpack came to a familiar face wielding an M60 the figure wore white pasty makeup with blue makeup curved in a smile, he also had long hair in the shape of two pine trees.

"Guhahahaha Hi Haaaank! Remember your old Pal?" The Clown said before firing at Hank, who dodged the first few shots and blocked the rest using a grunt's body as tricky wasted all of his ammo before flying up and out of sight... Hank went over to look up where Tricky flew off to before the clown came flying behind him kicking him out of the flying building.

Despite the massive height, Hank fell from he remained unharmed as he landed in front of a Bakary that seemed to have fused with some kind of demi-human tavern. The inhabitants screamed as they ran out while Hank just stood there and said "What the hell is with the Furry convention?" he said before he turned around and noticed he was surrounded by 6 grunts.

Chaos was going on everywhere as sperm whales and giant marshmallows spawned out of nowhere and fell from the sky while the sun had a... smiley face? Hank took a deep breath before continuing his job. He dodged one grunt who was firing at him, and fired back killing the armed one and an ax-wielding one with his Uzi, then placed his gun in the face of another grunt before blowing his brains out. The other three grunts tried to take advantage one getting a single punch before getting shot along with another one, the 6th one did successfully manage to push hank over before being killed.

Two new grunts snuck up behind hank, he beat one to death with his empty Uzi real quick while he tore the head of the second grunt clean off with one hand. Before turning around and throwing both the head and the gun hard at two more grunts. Hank then had to quickly dodge as a giant marshmallow fell from the sky nearly crushing him as more grunts approached.

Hank quickly tore a stop sign out from the ground using it as a makeshift weapon against the grunts, and all of the sudden the sun... dislodged itself from the sky and came down from the sky to fight Hank...

"What the hell is going on." Hank finally thought as the sun tried to fight him. Hank managed to use his stop sign to beat the sun to death causing the sky to immediately go dark. Scaring the inhabitants of the world Nevada fused with. Hank looked around to see what was happening before noticing something coming towards him. Tricky then flew done from the sky in his jetpack wielding a scimitar "Mano a Mano Hank!" the crazy clown said as he tried to slash at Hank but failed.

Hank managed to dodge the attack by jumping up and flipping in the air. He then kicked Tricky right in the face knocking him out cold. Hank then took the stop sign and impaled the clown into the giant marshmallow before grabbing a knife and continuing on his way.

Unbeknownst to Hank, a sudden force of energy washed over Tricky, giving him new life causing his skin to turn green. Hank continued his journey back to the part of the Facility that did not fly.

Hank quickly came across another group of Grunts and started beating them all to death. Dodging gunfire and other weapons as random walls began to fall from the sky closing around him. After blowing out one of the grunt's brains causing blood to start flowing out Hank looked up and saw a familiar undead face. It was Tricky again only this time he was holding the stop sign Hank impaled him with and was flying towards him, the two fought briefly before hank grabbed a nearby Glock emptying it into the clown causing him to be knocked out briefly. "Heh sixty-nine," Hank said to himself as he looked up trying to find a way out of the room. Then suddenly another familiar face dropped in.

It was Jebus, "You again? Why don't you stay dead?" Hank said while Jeb simply said, "I could say the same to you." Jebus then used his powers to raise a lot of the grunts Hank killed in the room as zombies and began to attack him. Hank managed to defeat them all however after shooting one of them causing blood to fly into Jebus's face. Jebus then, slightly annoyed wiped the blood from his face, before punching Hank So hard he went into another room that had a grunt at a vending machine. Hank walked over to the defenseless grunt and snapped his neck before two more grunts came through the door. One of the grunts threw a knife at Hank which he caught in midair and tossed at the second Uzi wielding grunt, killing him instantly before beating the other grunt to death.

Jebus then flew into the room and raised the two guards Hank just killed from the dead. Using the Uzi hank kills the two grunts before turning to Jebus who summoned a Sword with binary symbols on it. Hank used his speed to dodge the sword before shooting at Jebus causing him to teleport away. "Hah! Scrub!" Hank said as this happened. Hank then went into the next Door to find, none other than the Sherrif next to a monitor and a strange device.

"SHIT!" The Sheriff Said as Hank entered. Hank pointed his gun at the sheriff, but the sheriff had already seen him and pulled out his gun. Hank quickly dodged the bullet hitting the wall before the two started firing at each other! "GET IN HERE MORONS!" The sheriff shouted as a few grunts came into the room while he took time to escape. Hank then turned to the grunts and shot one of them causing blood to spray out the other grunts stopped and looked at Hank before all of them were killed.

Hank then went into the next room where he found the Sheriff again. Killing two of his elite guards with a shotgun Hank then aimed his weapon at the Sheriff's head ready to end him, suddenly three figures crashed through the roof wearing what appeared to be armor. Hank said to the sheriff "Why are you hosting a renaissance festival?" "They ain't mine.. " the Sheriff said as he tried to get away from Hank, in response, Hank shot one of the Sheriff's legs off with his shotgun. "GAHHH!" The Sheriff shouted as Hank faced the three knights. They were all wielding swords and axes, the central knight spoke up "My name is Sir Giles Van Astrea, the sword saints of Lugenica, I've come to find out what happened here and I want you to come wi-" "I don't give a shit about who you're cosplaying as or about your roleplay if you don't stop bothering me your next Nerd." Hank said before dodging a sword strike from one of the knights. "YOU DARE DISRESPECT SIR GILES! YOU SHALL PAY WITH YO-" Before he could finish Hank punched that knight so hard that he caved his helmet in. Then he ripped off his head.

Hank then turned around to find the Sheriff has somehow escaped with one leg "Damn it!" Hank said, slowly he looked back at the two remaining knights, filled with rage he said "You made me lose my prey. Now I'll make you pay."

Giles frozen in fear started thinking to himself "W-whats with this monster... t-this bloodlust... whatever this man, nae demon is... he somehow feels even more dangerous than the witches!" Giles noticed that his legendary dragon blade has loosened... meaning this man is dangerous enough to be a worthy opponent of the sword saint of Lugenica! Giles Van Astrea calmed himself down before drawing out the legendary weapon "While you may be a man, your bloodlust and lack of remorse makes you no better than a demon from the depths of hell!" Giles got into a battle-ready stance facing Hank "HEAR THIS YOU FIEND YOU SHALL NOT LEAVE THIS PLACE ALIVE SO SAYS I THE SWORD SAINT OF LUGENI-" Before he could continue Hank activated his bullet-time and fired a dozen shots at Giles with a Glock.

However, before any of them hit Giles the bullets shattered into thousands of pieces. But while the saint was distracted with the bullets hank appeared behind the warrior and attempted to stab him in the head with one of his knives, but the saint dodged just enough for it to instead hit him in his clavicle. "GAH!" The Giles shouted as he attempted to swing his legendary weapon, but once again Hank manages to dodge the blade. After dodging every single attack the knight has so far, Hank finally managed to land a blow. "GRAHHH!" A kick straight to the stomach. "Ngh! Gah!" Finally, hank grabs some dust from the rubble throwing it at the saint causing him to be distracted before holding his shotgun to the great saint's face. "Y-you bastar-" Before he could finish


A shot from the shotgun destroyed the saints face "Good knight!" Hank said happily, looking at the dead body of Giles "Now I can get the last one." He walked over to the last knight, who was completely frozen... "N-no w-way..." The knight muttered, "S-sir G-Giles van Astrea! N-no... you c-can't be dead... please don't be dead!"

"What's wrong? You scared?" Hank asked, he then picked up the Sword Saints blade attempting to investigate it, but unfortunately, it immediately went dull in his hands. Then Hank looked back at the knight who said to Hank "Who... what are you?"

Hank chuckles and says "Revalation 12:9" and aims the shotgun at the last knight's face "Hank J. Wimbleton... but as you go you can think of me as the devil incarnate." He pulled the trigger, and the knight screamed as he died.

Hank then turned to the bloodstained path made by the Sheriff.