31READ! An 1: I'm re-uploading the chapters, so if you've already read them, some small details may have changed. Just stuff I was dissatisfied with, also chapter names because I put in the songs that basically were on repeat as I wrote them, because music inspires me.
An 2: I haven't written in a very long time but here I am again. This story is basically the product of me spending an embarrassingly large amount of time on TikTok watching Bucky POV's. The idea came to me and had to be written down.
It's going to deal with some mature themes such as abuse and eating disorders, I'll put a triggerwarning when it appears. It will also contain smut, something I've never written before so bare with me. Then there's the language because I'm a potty-mouth, and let's face it Bucky probably is too (in my mind anyway).
This is also very AU, so if you're into Canon. Don't read this. I'm going to be mixing and matching events/movies/shows and ignoring some of them all together. Time-Lines will be ignored so if that's an issue, don't tell me I didn't warn you.
Rant Over.
An 3: Also, not that it matters but the song in the beginning is from Moana, but it was the No Resolve version playing when I wrote this. Now, I'm done.
Chapter One-How Far I'll Go.
I've been staring at the edge of the water
'Long as I can remember
Never really knowing why
I wish I could be the perfect daughter
But I come back to the water
No matter how hard I try
Every turn I take
Every trail I track
Every path I make
Every road leads back
To the place I know where I cannot go
Where I long to be
See the line where the sky meets the sea?
It calls me
And no one knows
How far it goes
If the wind in my sail on the sea stays behind me
One day I'll know
If I go, there's just no telling how far I'll go
How Far I'll Go-Auli'i Cravalho
I looked up at the Avengers Compound, it was a large, rather intimidating building. It was different from Stark Tower where I spent most of my adolescent years, that building I had known like the back of my hand.
It had been years since I last visited this place, I usually saw my father somewhere else, because he had, until now, wanted to keep his work separate. Well, wanted might be the wrong term, I had up until now been working for the competition after all.
I sighed heavily, nervously biting my lips, a force of habit I couldn't seem to shake, while rubbing my sweaty hands on my pantlegs. I looked down, hoping my hands didn't actually leave any marks on the crisp white pants I was currently wearing, first impressions were everything. Good God did I need a cigarette right now.
"Come on Lizzie, you were a higher level director at LCU for heaven's sake. You can do this, woman." I muttered to myself. I nervously glanced around, hoping I was still alone so no one caught me talking to myself. The building was outside the city so no uninvited guests just happened upon the place but it was still close enough so you could see the city. If I strained my ears I could hear the rustle and bustle from the busy streets of New York.
This new job was exciting as much as it was terrifying. With one last rub of my hands, willing them to stop sweating, I glanced at the windows I knew to be my dad's office and pressed the doorbell. A dull electric sound rang through the silence.
Instantly F.R.I.D.A.Y's voice sounded through the intercom;
"Miss Stark, your father is waiting for you. Welcome to Stark Industries, Avengers Compound".
"Thank you, F.R.I.D.A.Y" I replied swiftly, pushing the door open and stepping inside the spacious lobby. I hurried through the empty room to the elevator, my heels clicking loudly, not really giving the room a second glance, hoping I wouldn't run into anyone before I was properly introduced. It was only when I stood in the elevator that I remembered that I left all my luggage behind.
"Fuck," I muttered, annoyed with myself, I was truly nervous to be this scatterbrained. Hopefully Happy would take care of it, and if I knew Happy Hogan as well as I thought I did he would.
As I walked through the familiar corridor I could feel my nerves and my breathing slowly calming. As I knocked on the glass double doors I smiled. My dad was bent over some new project of his, brow furrowed in concentration. I loved watching him think and didn't really want to disturb him, but he looked up with a smile when he heard my knock.
"Hey Munchkin," dad smiled and enveloped me in a large hug. He looked the same as the last time I saw him. Dressed stylishly in burgundy dress pants and a slightly unbuttoned light blue shirt, his hair on end and glasses perched on his nose. I remembered back in highschool I thought it was embarrassing how flamboyantly he dressed sometimes. Like it wasn't enough that he was Tony Stark, Billionaire and Genius, he just had to dress unlike all the other dads. Now I loved and sometimes copied his style, not that I would ever admit that to the man hugging me.
"Trip go okay?"
"Yes, a bit lonely, but otherwise fine, thank you. How are you Dad?" I smiled as I stepped back from the hug, looking around the familiar office. It was the spitting image of the one he had back at Stark Tower.
"Good. I'm perfect, now that I've finally managed to convince my darling girl to come work with me," he gave me a cheeky smirk and a wink before he gave my outfit a once over. I already knew what he was going to say before he said it.
"Is that what you're wearing though, isn't it a bit…" he waved his hands around looking for the right word. I looked down at the white pantsuit, it was the lace top he was having issues with like I knew he would. I gave an exasperated sigh;
"Yes dad, it isn't that bad you know. I dressed like this all the time back in LA. I'm 25 years old, please let me wear what I want,". Clothes were important to me, I didn't think of myself as shallow but I really put thought and effort into how I looked.
"You'll always be my Little Girl though," he said with a smile, taking in what I said but not happy about it.
"Speaking of Little girls, how is Morgan and Pepper?" I asked, excited to see my half-sister again and wanting to change the subject.
"You can ask them yourself, they should be here any minute, to show you your room before I introduce you to the Avengers," he said, going back to his desk.
"You're still sure that you wouldn't like a room in our private wing instead of one in the apartment wing," he then asked for the hundredth time.
"Yes dad, I told you I want to fit in with everyone. With as little special treatment as possible." He held up his hands as if surrendering, this had been an ongoing argument since I agreed to his proposal.
"Allright, as you wish Munchkin,". I rolled my eyes playfully. He had originally wanted me to stay with him and the family in the penthouse, but I had insisted on a room with everyone else, not wanting to stand out more than necessary. I had suggested an apartment off site at first but he had shot that idea down immediately.
"I could show you your office before Pep and Morgan join us," he said with a questioning glance.
"Lead the way," I grinned, excited.
"Nan and Gramps send their regards by the way," I said, smirking as we walked. He tensed but only for a second, someone who didn't know him well wouldn't even have noticed the shift in his posture.
"Okay, I forgot you were supposed to visit them in DC before driving up here. They're well then?" he asked, in what he thought was a casual tone.
"Yes, healthy as ever." I answered while thinking; Liar. He knew my travel plan by heart but even the smallest mention of my grandfather made him twitchy. .
"And your…um…" he hesitated and I smirked wider.
"Grandfather still hates me for…hmm…" he trailed off with a small shrug of his shoulders.
"...knocking up his only daughter? No, dad. Come on, that was 25 years ago." I laughed out loud.
"Sure seems like it every time I see him, " he muttered, giving me a sidelong glance.
"He is not your biggest fan, I'll give you that." I said with a sympathetic shrug.
"And I didn't help matters when I told him I would be going back to using Elisabeth Stark again instead of mom's maiden name like I did back in L.A." He nodded and continued to lead the way down the hall to another set of double doors, wooden ones this time. He pushed them open with a flourish and we stepped inside.
"Dad," I breathed in awe. It was a light room with one wall completely covered by large windows overlooking the city. The large wooden desk was situated in the middle of the room with the white leather desk chair. A small, soft pink sofa group stood just inside the doors, a bouquet of flowers on the side table. The room was smaller than my old office but more personal.
"This view," I said looking through the windows.
"You like it then?" dad asked, his tone apprehensive. I turned to look at him and hugged him again.
"No, I love it," I all but squealed. He grinned, looking pleased.
"Knock, Knock," a voice said and I released my dad to look over my shoulder at the woman who had spoken. Pepper Potts, ever so elegant in a smart dark blue dress, was smiling at me. Before anyone had the time to utter a word a pint sized tornado came through the room screaming;
"Lizzie you're finally here!" I bent down and picked up Morgan, swinging her around.
"Hey sweetheart, I've missed you," I said, feeling tears prickle my eyes. I hadn't been able to visit for the last 4 months because of the move and stuff that had to be taken care of at my old job. Despite, or maybe because of our age difference, I loved my little sister dearly. I had always wanted siblings when I was younger but with my dad being, well my dad, and my mom going through her own stuff that never happened.
"You've grown little one. I can barely lift you anymore," I said as I put her down and ruffled her hair. She gave an indigent sound and tried to fix her hair. I laughed and hugged Pepper.
"Welcome Lizzie, hope your trip went well. We're all so happy to finally have you home,"
"Thanks Pep," I said, feeling the tears I had been able to push down while hugging Morgan begin to rise again.
"Well ladies, if you could show Lizzie her room while I finish up some last minute stuff," dad began. Morgan interrupted with a squeal and jumped around me and Pepper in excitement.
"I'll pick you up in," he glanced at his elegant wristwatch before continuing;
"45 minutes so I can introduce you to everyone." I felt my stomach churn as he mentioned meeting my new housemates and co-workers. Get a grip Lizzie. You're not normally this nervous in a work environment, I thought to myself. This neurotic side of me was infuriating, and reminded me of a time in my life that I would rather forget.
"Okay, sounds good," I said with a nervous smile. He kissed Peppers cheek, gave me an encouraging pat on the shoulder and left towards his office.
"Come on, Lizzie" Morgan whined and began pulling my arm.
"Morgan, " Pepper began sternly but I waved her off, smiling at my little sister's impatience.
"How about you run ahead little one and your mom and I will catch up," the words barely left my mouth before she was off. Pepper and I laughed and followed her at a slower pace. We took the stairs to another floor talking, catching up on events.
"Your dad is over the moon to have you here you know," Pepper said with a soft smile.
"Well he has been trying to convince me to come here for about 5 years now," I rolled my eyes thinking back to when he had wanted me to intern for him while I was at university.
"But I had to go my own way, you know. At university and after I was just Elisabeth Bennet, not the daughter of genius inventor and billionaire Tony Stark. I had to make something of myself outside the Stark name," I said quietly, I knew I had hurt him when I time after time turned down his offer. I had also needed a break from who Lizzie Stark had become at one point.
"He knows and understands that. He was so proud when you got the job at LCU, even though they were sort of his competitors. And then when you kept getting promoted, well Lizzie I've never seen the man so happy, proud and envious that you weren't working together all at once," she laughed, shaking her head at the memory.
"Can I ask, what changed your mind? Tony never said," she gave me a curious glance. I sighed before speaking.
"Well honestly Pep, I was tired of my work environment. I had gotten as far as I could go with the firm. They're not exactly an open minded bunch. Being practically the only woman with a higher position was hard. I don't like to admit that, but it was. I had a lot of men under me that had major issues taking orders from a woman. Being strong willed and outspoken didn't earn me any favors. I was just so tired of fighting so many of the idiots every single day. I even complained at the higher levels but never got any response. They basically said I was overreacting," I said with a tight laugh, shaking my head at my so-called co-workers.
"Being called a stuck up bitch every other day wasn't my favorite part of it either," I said with an eye roll, bitterness dripping from the words. I had worked hard to get where I was, not just within the firm but with myself and the way I acted and saw myself. I could give off a hard exterior but being talked down to and called names every single day took a toll on someone with my background.
"I'm sorry, sweetie," Pepper said and patted me on the back. I gave her another smile and continued;
"Then dad called and offered me the position as his head of research again, so I took it. Oh, and Pep you have no idea how good it felt to tell those sons of bitches that I was quitting and going to work for Tony Stark. You should have seen their faces, even gave me an offer as a senior director," we both laughed.
"Well, we're happy to have you. Your dad has been waiting for this since you excelled at high school," Pepper grinned and I smiled sheepishly, rubbing my neck. I knew my dad had wanted this for a long time, even though we had gone through some tough times over the years. There was a time when I knew he thought I wouldn't even graduate highschool, not because I couldn't just because I wouldn't be bothered with doing the actual work. Like my father, school had been easy for me when I actually bothered to go and put in some effort. I was drawn out of my thoughts by a loud huff.
"Why are you so slow," Morgan's annoyed voice could be heard from ahead of us.
"Sorry Little One," I laughed and we quickened our pace. I looked around at the corridor we were walking in, I had never been to this part of the compound. It was an all white corridor with numbered doors along it.
"So are all these rooms occupied?" I asked, curious about my new neighbors.
"Yes, I am not sure who's in which room though. Yours is number 115 though," she smiled and pointed at the door Morgan was impatiently waiting next to.
"Finally," the little girl huffed with an attitude worthy of a Stark. I laughed and Pepper looked torn between laughing and telling her daughter off.
"Ready?" Pepper asked, handing me a keycard.
"Since the Avengers have to leave in a hurry sometimes, the door doesn't automatically lock. You have to program it on the keypad on the inside when you leave the room." she explained as I swiped the card.
"Welcome home, Miss Stark," F.R.I.D.A.Y. 's voice sounded as Morgan pushed the door open. I stepped in and let out a surprised gasp. The room was a soft beige color, like my office, it had large windows only this time with a splendid view of the compound grounds instead of the city. The first thing I saw was the state of the art kitchenette all in birch, complete with a stove and small refrigerator. Next to that was a lounge area with a TV and comfortable looking sofas in the same soft pink like the ones in my office. As I stepped further into the room I looked through the open sliding doors to a huge king size bed. I could see a double door that probably led through the closet but what took my breath away was the glass wall that let you see straight into the bathroom, complete with a walk in shower and bathtub.
"Wow," I said, not knowing what else to say.
"Yeah, your dad wanted only the best for you," Pepper said in an affectionate voice.
"No kidding," I said, having trouble believing what I was seeing. Sure, my room that I had when I lived with my dad during my highschool years was great, but nothing compared to this. I saw my luggage had been brought in by Happy like I had anticipated, and I quickly walked over to the middle sized bag.
"I've got something for you Morgan," I said, while rummaging through the bag. The little girl started clapping her hands and jumping up and down. I held up the movie to her with a smile.
"Frozen 2!?" she screamed in delight, hugging it to her chest with a grin.
"Yes, I thought we could continue our movie nights with that one," I smiled and ruffled her hair. She started babbling about the plans she had for movie night. A knock sounded and my dad stepped into the room.
"Well?" he said with a smirk and holding out his hands.
"You've outdone yourself," I said with a shake of my head, still in disbelief.
"Don't you go stroking his ego too much now sweetie, " Pepper said as she took Morgan's hand and left the room with a wave. Dad just looked offended for a second then he grinned, stepped forward and kissed me on my forehead. A feet he easily did considering I was only slightly shorter than him, despite wearing heels, petite like my mom, grandpa always says.
"So, you ready to meet the team," he asked when he stepped back. I sighed, nerves beginning to build up again.
"Ready as I'll ever be I guess." He hooked his arm in mine and we started walking back towards the offices where the meeting room was located.
"So who's going to be there?" I asked, trying to sound casual. I didn't think I succeeded though.
"You've read their files, I sent them to you?" he answered my question with another question, a favorite pastime of his and a pet peeve of mine. I gave him a frustrated look and a curt nod.
"Doesn't answer my question, anyone I actually know?" He just smirked at my obvious annoyance with him.
"Banner will be there since you're going to be working closely with him, he's excited. Nat wouldn't miss your arrival for the world, Barton on the other hand is at home with his family," he rattled off naming three out of the four Avengers I knew well. The only ones I actually knew.
"And Pete?" I asked with a grin, I had met the boy several times and had a soft spot for him, he was adorable.
"Parker is in school, for once" he grumbled good naturally. I already felt calmer knowing that Nat, whom I had known since I was in highschool would be there. A friendly face. I had also met Bruce on several occasions when I had helped my dad with some projects of his, we also correspond via email. A fellow nerd to another, we enjoyed each other's company. Although I suspected he found me a bit intense at times.
"So…how many others?" I fidgeted slightly. Dad put a calming hand on my arm and smiled.
"Well, you're in luck. We've got the Maximoff twins, Lang, Rogers, Barnes and even Thor happens to be here now. You chose a slow day on the mission front to arrive at Munchkin." he smirked as I drew in a nervous breath.
The God of Thunder was here, I thought with a small shake of my head, amazed.
"Dad, if you could, you know not call me Munchkin in front of the Avengers I would be grateful," I sighed, knowing that it would happen eventually. Just hopefully not on my first day.
"Sure thing…Munchkin." He said with a shit eating grin and I rolled my eyes at him. We approached the doors I knew belonged to the meeting room and I took a steadying breath.
You've got this Lizzie. They're just normal people, you've faced a room full of arrogant assholes without flinching thousands of times. The only difference is that you actually want these people to like you, I thought to myself as we stepped through the doors. Conversation died down immediately and all eyes turned to us.
"Greetings team," my dad began walking us both up to the front of the room.
"As you all know we have a new member of the team to welcome. I want you all to meet Elisabeth, our newest member. She will be helping me with our mission-plans and what not." he began, waving off what my role would be with a flourish. Never one for unnecessary chit chat.
" Also she will be spending a lot of time in the research lab with Bruce since she's got some experience in that as well. And, most importantly she is my daughter," he said with a large smile and held out his hand towards me. I smiled and shook my head at his antics. Even though I had all eyes on me my nerves evaporated the moment I stepped forward, my "corporate persona" taking over.
"Hi, it's an honor to meet you all. I'm looking forward to working with all of you, and please call me Lizzie, I only go by Elisabeth when I'm in trouble" I said with a confident smile as I looked around the room. Bruce was the first to stand and shake his hand welcoming me. Before I could register what was happening I stumbled back as someone hugged me tightly.
"Lizzie, I've missed you" Nat said, I could hear the smile in her voice. I laughed;
"Hey Nat, sorry I missed you on my last visit. You were in Spain, was it?" She grinned, hugged me again and said;
"I'll tell you all about it later." with a wink she stepped back. Next was a woman with a kind face I knew to be Wanda Maximoff, behind her stood her brother Pietro. I knew that he had almost been killed in battle a few years ago but, Bruce and my dad had managed to save him.
"Finally another girl," she smiled and hugged me.
"And a nice looking one at that," her brother chipped in with twinkling eyes. I heard my dad groan and mutter something about clothes. I rolled my eyes for what felt like the hundredth time and said;
"Nice to meet you both,"
"He's not wrong," the next man said with a wink and I laughed.
"Scott Lang," he said, giving me a hug.
"Ant-Man, right?" I said as I stepped back, he nodded, pleased I knew who he was.
"I have some questions about your suit, it intrigues me. Look me up when you have the time, yeah? My door is always open, to all of you," I addressed the others as well, my inner nerd dying to know more about how that suit of his functioned. He gave a nod obviously pleased and stepped out of the way for the mountain of a man behind him.
"Thor, Prince of Asgard. Pleased to meet you, Lady Stark," he said with a bow and a kiss to the hand.
"Pleased to meet you,and please it's Lizzie" I managed to get out, in awe of the God in front of me. I was aware of the fact that Gods existed, my dad was Iron Man after all, but to actually be in the presence of one was something else.
"Lady Lizzie," he said with a bow and stepped out of the way. Now only two men remained, both tall, powerful and muscular. But their similarities stopped there. One was light and had an open, friendly face the other was dark and looked broody. I knew who they were of course, but had never met them in person.
"Steve Rogers," the first man said, stepping forward and shaking my hand. He, like Thor, towered over my small frame, but I felt nothing but kindness from him. Meeting the Captain America was much like meeting Thor, surreal. He sidestepped and motioned at his darker friend;
"And this is James Barnes." The other man merely grunted, obviously uncomfortable at meeting someone new. I smiled at Steve and then turned my eyes to the man slightly behind him. I knew who he was, of course, I had read all of their files but The Winter Soldier was someone that I knew a bit more about considering his involvement in my grandparents death. My dad had ranted endlessly about the man for a long time after he found out the truth and his persona had intrigued me. I knew, however, that The Winter Soldier and James Barnes were two different people.
"Pleased to meet you Sergeant Barnes," I said with a smile. His blue eyes snapped to mine and for a moment time stood still as I stared into those expressive ice blue eyes. My breath hitched in my throat and my smile faltered but just for a second. His stare was so intense. He cocked his head to the side slightly and then put his hand out for me to shake. I took it and felt something like an electric current go through my arm as we touched.
"Nice to meet you," he said in a dark voice, his eyes never leaving mine. My breath hitched slightly when I heard his voice.
"Call me Bucky," he said with a small twitch of his lips and let go of my hand. What the actual fuck was that, I thought, shaking my head as I turned back to my dad. I could feel his stare even though my back was turned. Never in my whole life had I reacted that strongly to another person before.
"Well, now that introductions are over. I have another announcement. We're having a party tomorrow night," my dad grinned and I raised an eyebrow.
"A party, really dad? Is that really necessary?" I said expertated.
"Oh,Lizzie. You'll come to learn that your father needs very little initiative to throw a party," Nat laughed as she threw her arm around my shoulders.
"Now show me your room and we'll catch up," she grinned and led me out of the room, the others following.