488It all started with a flash. A bright white light that covered all of his vision. If he hadn't been paying attention, there's a chance he never would've noticed it. The light disappeared so quickly that if he'd have blinked, he would've missed it. At first, it looked like nothing had changed. The carriage and everything in his view looked the same as it had before. However, he couldn't shake the feeling that something was clearly off. . .
"Hey? Otto! Why'd the carriage suddenly stop?"
He was met with a haunting silence. It was a feeling reminiscent of the moment he'd been summoned to this world. The feeling that something was wrong. . .no. . . that something had changed. Something that was irreversible. Whatever this was, he didn't like it. Subaru reoriented himself and scanned the visible parts of the carriage. Luckily, this time he wasn't alone.
"Emilia-tan? Are you alright?"
Subaru saw Emilia's face for the first time. She had a look of utter emptiness in her eyes. It surprised Subaru so much that he didn't even bother to check on the others. What caused such a dramatic shift? Just moments ago she seemed hopeful about finding a way to get Puck back. Had she remembered something from her past? Whatever memories she'd faced down at the Sanctuary had undoubtedly been traumatic and painful. Subaru remembered this same look on her face when he rescued Emilia from the first trial. In those eyes he found denial, fear, self-loathing, and pain. They contained a litany of emotions, all seemingly directed at herself.
"S-Suba. . ."
Subaru was blindsided by a leaping loli spirit.
"Betty is. . .Betty is s-so sorry!"
Beatrice was sobbing into his chest. Subaru could feel the beginnings of guilt rising in his heart. He hadn't checked up on the others because he was so foolishly focused on Emilia. Whatever this was, Subaru had no clue. It was clear something serious had just happened, but all he'd done was act insensitive. Now it was his responsibility to figure out what was happening.
"Beako. . .Hey, Beako. Please, it's ok. I'm here. I'm not sure what's going on here, but please. . .stop apologizing."
Emilia and Beatrice looked up at him in shock. It seems he'd said something insensitive again.
"G-Guys?"
Before Subaru could ask what was going on, Emilia had gripped both Beatrice and Subaru in a tight hug. He had to admit, he loved moments like these. But this. . . it didn't feel right. Subaru liked sharing heartfelt moments with them, not causing them pain. This 'white flash' had just forced Emilia and Beatrice into his arms. The suffering these two were under was apparent to anyone. It was unforgivable. Hurting the two of them this much.
Emilia looked up at him.
"Subaru. . .don't you remember?"
This dumbfounded Subaru.
"Remember what? Did something happen!?"
Subaru's mind began racing to the worst possibilities.
'This pain. . . I recognize it. I felt it many times during my first week at the mansion. Could it be possible? I shouldn't disregard the possibility of somebody like Gluttony being involved. However. . . I'm pretty sure I'm immune to his authority. Which leaves. . .'
Subaru's face morphed into a horrified expression. Had Beatrice and Emilia. . . returned by death?! And that white light. . .
This was serious! Return by Death was first and foremost a curse. The amount of suffering it bestows on its user is nothing short of unprecedented. Some of those loops had completely changed him. They had completely erased important relationships and people from his life. Not to mention the pain of dying over and over again. Believing that there may be no hope of escaping a loop. It could turn the most life-loving, innocent person into a nihilist death receptacle.
Subaru would have no way of knowing how many times that they had died, nor what those two had experienced.
'I know I'm probably jumping at shadows. . .at least, I hope. But if there is even the slightest chance. . . I need to take it with the utmost gravity. For all I know, they've died a hundred times since that flash happened.'
"Subaru. . .you've. . .d- "
Time froze.
Only those who saw the viewing can know the truth. Speaking with anyone else is forbidden.
As Emilia tried to explain what she saw to Subaru, the air and atmosphere froze around her. Emilia couldn't move, but she saw Beatrice's eyes dart at the sound of the voice speaking to them. It made sense why it had to be this way. The Witch of Envy would kill anyone that knew the secret.
However, even if it was to protect them, Emilia couldn't keep herself together. It was simply unfair. Too cruel that it had to be kept secret. Too cruel that Subaru would never be able to share these experiences with anyone.
Time unfroze.
"Subaru, Subaru, Subaru, y-you. . .no no no! This is wrong! You've d-"
Time froze.
Only those who saw the viewing can know the truth. Speaking with anyone else is forbidden.
Emilia didn't care.
Time unfroze.
"You've d-"
Time froze.
Only those who saw the viewing can know the truth. Speaking with anyone else is forbidden.
Beatrice stared at Emilia.
Time unfroze.
"YOU'VE D-"
Time froze.
Only those who saw the viewing can know the truth. Speaking with anyone else is forbidden.
It was unavoidable.
Time unfroze.
Emilia kept a tight grip around Subaru. Her surprise did little to mitigate her anguish, as she gave up on her statement and simply began burying her face into his shoulder.
"Emilia-tan!? You stopped mid-sentence. . . please. . .no. . ."
Subaru couldn't keep his fear hidden anymore.
'That. . . it can't be! No! NO NO NO NO!'
Subaru wasn't an idiot. Something had just stopped Emilia from speaking. This was looking like the worst possible outcome after all.
"Beako, please, answer me honestly."
Beatrice looked up at Subaru and only nodded her head.
"Do you smell any Witch Miasma coming from Emilia?"
Emilia and Beatrice looked at him in panic. They realized how this looked now. Not only was this confirmation that everything they saw was true, but it meant that they needlessly traumatized him even more. How stupid could they be?
"I-I don't smell any coming from Emilia, I suppose."
Subaru analyzed Beatrice's vocal pattern before nodding his head and laying back.
'I'll need to ask Crusch to verify this for me. I can't risk a scenario where she is not telling me the truth.'
At least for now, Subaru could put this scenario in the back of his mind. If Emilia and Beatrice really did have Return By Death, all he'd need to do is never give them the opportunity to use it. A little more pain for himself meant nothing if it meant he could spare those two suffering.
"CAP'N!"
Subaru didn't have a moment of rest before Otto and Garfiel slammed open the door to the carriage.
"Oh! Garfiel! Did you figure out what that was yet? Why did we st-"
Once again, Subaru couldn't even squeeze out a sentence before Garfiel and Otto jumped him into a hug. Now he had Emilia, Beatrice, Otto, and Garfiel hanging off of him.
'Not them too. . ! What the hell is going on here!'
Subaru found himself even more upset at the prospect of his bros dealing with Return By Death. The whole camp was being forced into hell and there was nothing he could do about it!
"Cap'n! M'sorry. Please, I never meant t'k-"
Time froze.
Only those who saw the viewing can know the truth. Speaking with anyone else is forbidden.
"Huh?!"
Otto reacted out of pure fright. It had just dawned on him that they'd nearly been killed by the Witch of Envy.
Time unfroze.
"Garfiel, what were you going to say!?"
Subaru was freaked the hell out. That was a taboo. No doubt about it. Whoever was behind this didn't want him to know what happened. Damn bastards! He'd figure out what was going on.
'S'nothing. . .just m'sorry cap'n. Th'stubborness. . .I'll try t'be better."
Garfiel looked down. Whatever he wanted to tell Subaru, it looked like he wouldn't be able to say it.
'That was vague, but at least it gives me something to go on.'
"Natsuki-san!"
Otto had been hugging him as well, but it seemed like he was beginning to feel left out for some reason.
"Oh, Otto! Didn't see you there!"
Subaru resorted to his easiest method of redirection. Humor. A good tease and laugh might be enough to distract everyone from whatever the heck just happened.
"Natsuki-san!"
Oh, well this wasn't the reaction he was expecting. Usually Otto gets upset at Subaru's teasings, but now he didn't seem to care. Otto was latched onto him just like the other members of the Emilia Camp. If this had been in any other situation, Subaru would just up the ante, however, he realized that Otto probably wouldn't react. Besides, it would be insensitive to try and ignore everything that they've been through, huh? Maybe he oughta be nicer to Otto. . .
"Oi, Otto! I've been asking everyone, but nobody's given me an answer! What happened to the carriage? Why did we stop in the middle of nowhere so that we could have a 'hug-session'!?"
"Natsuki-san. I didn't stop on purpose, I was. . .uh. . .blinded by the light!"
Subaru finally got a reaction!
"Ah, I see! You crashed the cart and you asked everyone here to come and butter me up so that I wouldn't get angry. Good plan! I'll admit, this hug from Emilia-tan and Beako has re-energized me, so I'll let it slide! However, even I have to admit, I'm just a bit weirded out by the random hug. . ."
"Natsuki-san! Please. . . don't tease me for a second. I just. . . wanted to show you how grateful I am to you."
The genuine feelings poured into Otto's reply kept Subaru from teasing him any longer. Subaru was never any good at accepting compliments, so this earnest gratitude came completely out of left field. It wouldn't be right to continue ragging on him.
"Hey, c'mon Otto. I tease you all the time, you don't owe me anyt. . ."
"You've done so much for me. Most of which I'll never be able to thank you for. Don't reduce it. Maybe one day I'll be able to pay it back, but for now, I need to tell you something. I'm truly glad to have met you, Natsuki-san."
The feelings directed at Subaru were so warm that he felt he'd melt if he didn't get out of this hug.
"Alright! Everyone, I am very grateful that you all feel so happy to be around me, but don't we have a meeting to get t. . ."
"No."
Emilia wasn't having it. After everything she saw, the last thing she was going to do was forget what happened. Subaru might not know his secret is revealed, but she wasn't going to let it be put on the backburner because of some stupid meeting. Anastasia would understand, she saw it too, after all.
"E-Emilia-tan?"
"Subaruuuu, we aren't letting go until you say the magic words!"
"Huh? I don't know what words you want me to say!"
"Then I guess we're never letting go of you, I suppose!"
The scene looked ridiculous. Four people had dogpiled this guy in the back of a dragon carriage. To a random observer, this would look like a robbery!
"Cap'n, admit what y'are!"
"What do you mean?"
"Natsuki-san! You are a hero!"
To Subaru, this was an egotistical and childish idea. All fantasies of him being some 'chosen hero' died when Rem was erased. How could he call himself a hero if he couldn't even save one person?
"Guys, please, just get off so we can. . ."
"Not until you say it Subaru!"
Subaru tried forcing his way out of the hug, but Emilia and Garfiel's strength were impossible for any human to overcome (except Reinhard). Eventually, Subaru accepted his fate.
"I-I'm a. . ."
He cringed.
"Hero."
All of the others looked upset at the ashamed look on Subaru's face. He was very clearly against this idea in the first place. But, it was his fault! He chose to save everyone. He chose to sacrifice everything to protect them. It wouldn't do for Subaru to see himself as anything less than a hero!
However, a deal was a deal.
They let go of him and Otto turned around to re-orient the dragon carriage.
"Ok, once we get to Priestella, we are going to have a long talk about whatever the hell that was about!"
Subaru sat back down and both Emilia and Beatrice leaned into him. Subaru didn't really have time to voice opposition, not that he wanted to, but he still wanted to talk to them about what they'd be doing once they reached Priestella. They seemed a bit scared to make eye contact with him, so for now, he just let them hold his hands and tried to relax.
'I'll figure out a way to help you both. I swear it!'
"Oi, Otto. Ya heard th' voice when I spoke t' Cap'n, didn't you?"
Otto turned around to see Garfiel entering from the back of the carriage. It seemed that everyone else had fallen asleep, so they were free to discuss what happened in its entirety.
"Yeah. It appears we have a taboo similar to Natsuki-san's."
"This s'some crap! Th' hell was th' point of showin' us the Cap'n's struggles if we can't even talk 'bout em!"
Garfiel had been struggling to keep his mouth shut ever since he saw Subaru's fearful expression directed at him in the Arc 4 viewing. He wanted nothing more than to apologize for what happened and try to set the record straight. But now they were unable to say a word about what they saw!
"I agree Garf-san. However, please think about why the person brought us there in the first place."
"Huh? Th' heck does that matter for?"
"They wanted us to help Subaru. From the beginning, they planned to send us back here, right?"
"F'course they did! What 'bout it?"
"If we were all dead, would that help Natsuki-san?"
"Oi, th' hell do ya mean by that?!"
Garfiel still wasn't understanding what happened earlier. Time froze, but it was a protective measure.
"Garf-san, the Witch kills anyone who learns about Natsuki-san's ability! What do you think going in there and telling him the truth would cause?"
"Wait, you sayin' th' Witch tried ta' kill us just then?"
"I'm saying that it's a possibility. It could also be a safety measure for Subaru."
Garfiel looked at Otto with a raised eyebrow. Safety measure? They were supposed to believe that? Subaru already knows about Return By Death, so why should it matter if they discuss the viewing with him! They had no plans to hurt him!
"Garf-san, why do you think the Witch put that taboo on Subaru in the first place?"
"I dunno, th' bitch is crazy! She probably wanted th' Cap'n all ta' herself!"
"Tell me, Garf-san. Were there any moments during the viewing where you saw people discussing the potential of Subaru's ability?"
"Ya, all th' camps were tryna monopolize him."
"If people were privy to the specifics of his ability, even if Subaru wasn't the one who leaked the information, what would happen to him?"
Garfiel froze up. He nearly blabbed about Subaru's power the moment he ran into him again. They had both seen the damage that someone who knew about Subaru's ability could cause. Arc 4 was the worst scenario yet. Specifically crafted to break Subaru and make him someone's tool.
"Ohh I gotcha Otto. Speakin' of which, what is goin' on back at the Miload Manor!?"
"I'm not sure. I can't imagine stuff is going well between the maid staff and Roswaal-sama. There is also the chance that the Royal Knights have been mobilized to go and arrest him."
"Nah, s'no way. Th' knights are with their candidates now. All o'them should be in Priestella."
They each exhaled a long breath. For now, they wouldn't have to worry about covert political ploys. Hopefully, they could smooth everything over with negotiations in Priestella.
"Hey, Garfiel. I know they restored Crusch's memories in the viewing, but are those still intact now that we've been returned?"
"I dunno, I hope s'alright. . .Oi! Otto! What 'bout Rem?! Is she awake?!"
Otto began to tense up. Seeing Subaru's reaction to losing Rem was something he never wanted to see again. Now, there was a chance that Rem had been returned to them. This might be important enough to turn around and return to the Manor.
"I'm not sure Garf, I honestly want to turn back and check, but if we don't go meet with the other camps, there is a chance we could get knocked out of the race!"
Garfiel sighed and put his hands to his temples. He was beginning to get a headache from all the stress built up over the viewing. It looked like he would still be dealing with the ramifications of this for some time.
"Until we know for sure, I suspect that Rem and Crusch's memories have been returned."
"Why's that?"
"Well we remember her, don't we? At the very least, we know that our memories of her have been restored."
Garfiel's eyes brightened a bit. It wasn't all pointless. At least now, he had something to give back to his Cap'n.
"Oi, Otto, I'll take over from 'ere. Go t'sleep already."
Otto handed the reins over to Garfiel and headed back into the carriage to take a nap. They would be arriving in Priestella tomorrow.
'I pray that we find a way to work out everything that's happened since we left.'
Otto turned to face the sleeping Subaru.
'And I pray that you don't find yourself in trouble again. You've suffered enough Natsuki-san.'
The night at Seaslyph Lodge was anything but calm.
"I can't believe it! Natsuki-kun really had quite the secret! I'm honestly not sure how I want to approach this situation. . ."
Anastasia had been completely dumbfounded. She had woken up this morning simply expecting to see Emilia and her camp for negotiations. However, a certain bright flash of light had other ideas. It teleported her and the other five camps into some otherworldly theater!
Anastasia knew that the outcome of the Royal Selection could be decided at these upcoming negotiations. She needed a plan of action. While she didn't want to use Subaru to get into power, she also didn't want to leave that option open to any of the other candidates.
"Anastasia-sama, perhaps we should review everything we learned so far? I believe it may help us plan effectively for S-Subaru's arrival."
Julius wanted to help his lady, but he couldn't separate himself from all the stuff he'd seen on that screen. What a shocking revelation. He'd publicly shamed and belittled Subaru's ambitions and abandoned him during his fight against the cult. The shame he felt was unlike anything he'd ever experienced. Julius didn't know how Subaru would react to seeing him at Priestella, but he knew that he had to apologize for his self-righteousness. Even if he could find a way to justify that duel, the sheer horrors that Subaru was forced to face down by himself were more than enough to bring shame upon Julius.
Subaru was not weak. Even at his worst, he never abandoned a single one of his allies. Long beyond the point anyone else would have quit, he persevered. He'd even saved the lives of three of the five candidates. How could he ever be at peace as a knight, knowing that Subaru had been left to die so many times?
His nervousness had made him unable to speak Subaru's name without stuttering. It was truly a sight to behold. The Greatest of Knights, crumbling under pressure.
"That's a good idea Julius! I'd say there are five important pieces of information we've gained."
"Just five. . .?"
"1. Natsuki Subaru is from another world.
2. Natsuki Subaru possesses a looping ability.
3. Natsuki Subaru has some kind of relationship with the Witch of Envy and can wield Authorities.
4. Roswaal had been manipulating everyone with a book that foresees the true future, which is currently destroyed.
5. Natsuki Subaru has several criteria that must be met before he'll reset a loop."
Julius looked on in confusion. It felt disingenuous to boil down Subaru's adventure to mere tidbits of information. However, he couldn't deny the effectiveness of such a strategy. The longer he reflected on what he saw, the more it bothered him. If he wanted to effectively represent his camp, he would need to find a way to put his feelings aside.
"I-I guess that is true."
Julius went silent. Anastasia had been disturbed by the viewings too, he could tell. But something was bothering him. Why hadn't he been reprimanded? He'd beaten and killed Subaru during a loop in Arc 3. Didn't she find that behavior repulsive?
"Hey, Julius. . ."
"Yes Anastasia-sama?"
"I can tell something is bothering ya, so if you'll hear me out a moment."
"Of course, my lady."
"Ya gotta stop thinking about that stuff. I know how much ya care for him, but please understand. You are my most trusted ally. Nothing some screen shows me if ever gonna change that, alright?"
Julius looked up at Anastasia with a tearful smile. She really could see through him, huh? As much as her words could help, Julius couldn't accept something like that. She was a master at telling people what they wanted to hear. Julius was looking for any reason to doubt the veracity of her words.
"Thanks. I'm glad you feel that way, my lady."
Anastasia could see a hint of guilt still lingering in his eyes. It seems like the only thing that would satisfy him is speaking with Subaru again.
"Like two peas in a pod. . .You're as hopeless as that damn Natsuki!"
"Ok you guys! You can let go of my hands now! I admit its super cute, but it'll be really embarrassing walking into Priestella like this!"
Subaru had spent the night surrounded by his close friends and companions. At first, he thought it was endearing, but now it was beginning to creep him out!
"As Betty's contractor, it is expected that he rewards her with headpats and handholding whenever she asks, in fact!"
Beatrice wasn't having any of this. Subaru would not be leaving her side for their entire visit to Priestella. While she had, admittedly, been craving affection from Subaru ever since she arrived back from the theater, that reason wasn't why she was sticking to his side so aggressively.
"Ok, ok! I get it Beako, I'll take you around the city with me! But Emilia-tan. . . why are you gripping my hands so tight?! I'd love to hold hands with you whenever you ask, but I'm getting the feeling you don't trust me on my own or something!"
"Oh! Umm, I'm sorry! I didn't mean to grip you so tight! I just. . .ummm. . .wanted to hold your hand!"
"Emilia-tan, that was adorable, but that was clearly a lie! C'mon, you can trust me, I've grown since we visited the Capital!"
The mention of the capital seemed to bring a dreary expression to Emilia's face. He would need to ask about that later. However, he didn't really have time to deal with that now. The carriage had just passed through the outer walls of Priestella and began its trek towards the outer gates.
"Wow! This view is amazing! I never thought this city would be so vibrant, especially after seeing that huge prison wall!"
Emilia and Beatrice were enraptured by the view, but they didn't let that distract them from their goal. At all times, Subaru was to be monitored by Beatrice, who could detect changes in Miasma output. If Beatrice noticed even the slightest deviation in smell, she would inform everyone immediately. Emilia, to her credit, wanted to prevent that from happening. This is why she was looking for any excuse to stay near Subaru.
'Subaru. I won't fail you again.'
Authors Note
So, what do you think? I've felt an urge to do this prompt, but I didn't want to make it too easy! There needs to be some mystery for Subaru to figure out. How will arc 5 change with everyone knowing about Subaru's ability?
Also, how about the reactions? Were the characters OOC? I did my best to portray their initial shock, but I had them change their behavior when the realized they were unable to speak about what they'd seen. I hope it didn't seem like they had reverted back to their previous selves. I think they were moreso trying to fill the role that Subaru was expecting them to play.
As I've said in my other fic, criticisms are appreciated! I find that the first chapter of a fic is usually make or break, so especially here, I want to address any problems and get them hammered out before I continue with this fic.
I have the next chapter for Another Chance around 60% done, so expect it in a few days.