Chapter 2: Xander's Chaos: The Beginning.

DaughterOfIris23 and Dashti-the-dramione-shipper are the betas for this chapter.

I will be posting on chapter a day until I get all the prewritten chapters posted. Well, I won't be posting for day or two later this month. I'm having surgery on my hands. So, there'll be a lag in posting.

I have 31 stories, including this one. I do love crossovers, so half of my storied, including some one-shots, are just that.

HP-BTVS-HP-BTVS

"Aw, man, Joyce, I don't have anything. You just plucked me out of Africa and my bag is back at the hut I was using," Xander complained as Joyce led them through the deserted halls. Their footsteps echoed off the walls as they made their way. Joyce's high heels clipped along as his boots resounded with heavy 'thunks'. The kids' soft leather school shoes were quieter, but not by much.

The relocated man was still a bit creeped out by the portraits, but he was getting used to it. He would have to remember to curb his remarks around them, though. Last thing he needed was for the whole place to know his business. He was well aware of how fast gossip spread among teens. The Slayers were the worst, in his opinion.

"Don't worry, Xander," Joyce assured him. "I have plenty of money. Remember, I've been saving for a millennium. Buffy and Dawn couldn't spend it all, and you know how my daughters can shop."

"Why did you send the headmaster away?" Hermione asked Joyce worriedly, biting her lip in concern.

"He was going to try and hurt me. Didn't you notice his wand pointed at me? Besides, I'm still mad at him for not interfering with the Dursleys," Joyce said angrily.

"You know about that? How?" Harry asked nervously. His eyes fliting around like someone was going to start yelling at him for asking questions.

"Let's just say there was someone keeping an eye on you," she said, putting a hand on his shoulder as they walked. "Dumbledore kept telling them that you were in the safest place, and that a bit of hardship wouldn't hurt you in the long run," she gritted, running her hand through his hair. She cut a look to Xander, conveying how she really felt.

"I'm going to kill him," Xander growled as he spun around and started heading back down the stairs. Only for the stairs to start moving away from the floor they started on. "Come on, Joyce. Let me go kill him. He's worse than Travers. At least Buffy was a teenager."

"No! I have other plans for Dumbledore. Besides, you're supposed to protect Harry. He's more important right now. You focus on him and let me take care of Albus," Joyce admonished, then turned and started walking forward again. The children followed.

"Dammit! Okay, fine," Xander sulked, making his way back to the group. "But, I'm keeping my eye on that man. One hair out of place on Harry's head, and I'm taking Dumbledore down," he grumbled.

"I —ummm— well, if Harry needs a place away from the people that hurt him, he can stay with me. Well, I'd have to ask my parents, but I'm sure they wouldn't mind," Hermione stated softly, glancing at Harry with a sad look in her eyes. She bit her lip, like she wanted to ask, but then shook her head and looked away.

"That's very kind of you, sweetie. The problem with that is that Xander needs to stay with Harry. Perhaps, you should have them write to Xander, or myself, and we'll explain the situation to them," Joyce said as they reached the portrait of a portly woman sleeping in a chair.

"Thanks, Hermione," Harry mumbled, shuffling his feet with embarrassment. He kept glancing at everyone as if unsure what to do.

"Okay. Xander, this is the Gryffindor dorm," Joyce said, indicating the sleeping portrait of the Fat Lady. "It's where Harry slept, but he'll be sleeping in one of your spare rooms now," she said, leading them back down the hall and to the left. "I will eventually show you all the dorms, but Gryffindor is close to your rooms."

"What rooms?" Xander asked absently as they stopped in front of a stationary suit of armor.

"The ones I'm going to give you. Don't worry, I think you'll like the place," she said with a bright smile then she waved at the armor. "This is Jarvis, he'll be your guard. Jarvis, this is the man I've been telling you about."

"It's finally time?" the armor asked. "I've been waiting a thousand years for this day."

"Yes, today has finally arrived. Again, I want to thank you for being so patient," Joyce said kindly.

"It is finally good to meet you, Xander," Jarvis said with a nod of his metal head.

Xander looked a little worried as Joyce nodded her head happily. She was practically bouncing like a little girl with her favorite toy.

"Hey, Jarvis. Ummm, Joyce, what have you been saying about me?" Xander asked with a raised eyebrow.

"During summer cleaning, when she's awake, Joyce tells us fascinating stories about you and your friends," Jarvis answered with a note of awe in his voice. "I say, I'm glad it's you that came and not Buffy. While she sounds like a lovely girl, she does sound a bit destructive. From what Joyce says anyway. Now that you're here, I can't wait to see how things will change."

"The password will be 'hellmouth'," Joyce said, laughing at Xander's thunderstruck face.

Jarvis stepped aside to reveal a doorway. Joyce opened the door and they all stepped inside, only for everyone to freeze in shock.

"This is so cool," Xander stated as he looked around a room that was definitely not part of the castle. It was a house he hadn't seen since the destruction of Sunnydale. The Summer's house. And everything looked just like it had when Mrs. Summers had been alive. Right down to the television on the wall. The pictures were the same. The art that she brought home from her gallery stood on the mantle and adorned the walls. The furniture, that had been ruined after she passed, was all in pristine condition. His heart swelled from all the good memories this room brought back.

"I thought you might like a sense of familiarity; I know I do." Joyce grinned, patting him on the shoulder as she headed for the kitchen to make hot cocoa. The children whispered to themselves, while the adults made the hot drink. Soon, the cups were done and taken to the living room.

They all sat deep in thought for a few minutes, sipping their cocoa. Each thinking of different things. Xander about his new reality. Joyce on what to do with Dumbledore, Hermione was wondering how much of Hogwarts: A History was correct. Harry was thinking maybe for once in his life he might be able to trust an adult.

"Okay, Harry, you go wash up. Hermione if you bring me a brush, I'll do your hair before we take you back to the dorms," Xander said with a yawn as he put his empty cup down and stretched. It had been a long day before he was dropped here. Africa did not have a friendly climate, and that cave had had many traps and defenses. Now, here he was with a new set of responsibilities and worries. He just wanted to go to bed and think about it all in the morning.

"Do what with my hair?" Hermione asked concerned, giving him a stink eye.

"Brush it, of course. You don't usually brush your hair and tie it up before bed?" he asked, giving her a weird look.

"No!" she said as if he was crazy. In her experience brushing it just made it worse.

"Well, that explains why your hair is so frizzy," the one-eyed man sighed. "Joyce, you had two girls, you want to explain it to her?"

"How do you know about girls' hair?" Harry asked him while Joyce explained the benefits of nightly hair brushing and braiding to an increasingly excited Hermione.

"I spent the past year travelling with a bunch of teenage and pre-teenage girls. Each night I had major hand cramps after having to brush their hair. I learned a lot of female secrets, which I promise to share with you when you're older. Trust me, it's stuff you want to know," Xander said with a serious nod.

Harry just nodded, though the look on his face was unsure. He then cracked a big yawn, and Xander hustled him to the bathroom.

Soon Harry finished up getting ready for bed, and out of habit, and because he was exhausted, he made his way downstairs and headed straight for the small cupboard under the stairs.

"Harry, what are you doing?" Xander asked with a great deal of confusion.

"Oh… I forgot… that is, I… usually…" he stammered, forgetting that he had a room assigned. Old habits were hard to break, and he was dead tired.

"Don't worry, honey, it's an easy mistake. Just remember you never have to sleep in a cupboard again," Joyce said calmly, putting her arm around his shoulders and leading him back to the living room.

"What?!" Xander asked sharply, sitting up angrily. "You slept in a cupboard?! When I get my hands on those… argh, I can't even think of the appropriate word. And I lived on a Hellmouth, so that's saying something."

"You won't hurt them, will you?" Harry asked, worriedly. He didn't want anyone to get in trouble trying to take vengeance.

"There are many ways to bring someone down without bringing out an axe," Xander stated as he paced angrily.

Suddenly lights started flashing, and an alarm started to blare. "What the hell?" the angry man yelled over the noise, wondering what was going on now, and hoping rather unrealistically that it wouldn't involve him.

"It's the chastity alarm," Joyce sighed as she stood up. "Harry, Hermione, wait here, we'll be back in a few minutes." She led Xander to the kitchen door, that in Sunnydale, would have led outside. "This door will lead you to where you need to go. Think of it as a portal," she said smugly, mischief twinkling in her eyes.

"Really, Joyce, a chastity alarm? What have you gotten me into?" the poor man asked indignantly, grabbing the door and yanking it open. Sure enough, and slightly disappointedly, it looked like a portal.

"It's your price of admission. You, my friend, are now the Head of Security," she grinned as she led Xander through.

The blue and bronze common room contained multiple kids of both sexes. All of them jumped when the two strange people appeared. They were already on edge due to the alarm.

"That way," Joyce said, indicating the flashing torch lights that led up a set of stairs.

Jogging up the stairs with an air of resignation, Xander found two older students looking very sheepish and stuck under a spotlight. "Yeah right, you two look innocent," he snarked. "Can we turn off the lights? And kill the noise?" he asked the air.

Both vanished, leaving him, Joyce and the two kids standing there. The one-eyed man had no idea what to say. Which led to the kids getting more nervous as the strange man and woman just stood there glaring at them.

"It wasn't us!" the boy suddenly blurted out as he attempted to right his shirt, and subtly fix the rest of his clothes.

"Right, so you were performing a comedy routine, and that's why you were under a spotlight?" Xander asked sarcastically, noting the boy's movements. He so didn't want this responsibility. "Dammit, Joyce, is there a rule book?" he grumped. He knew how to deal with the younger female population, but both sexes at the same time was a bit much.

"Yes, I'll get you a copy," Joyce confirmed, then decided to let the poor man off the hook, this time. "You know the rules. Above the waist and over the clothes!" she recited to the frazzled couple. "And you, young lady, should not be in a boy's dorm room," she declared, pointing at the girl. "I really need to fix that," she mumbled to herself.

"Yes, ma'am. Ummm, who are you?" the girl asked as if she suddenly realized they had no idea what position these two adults held. Or who they even were.

Xander, wanting to confirm his position, leaned over to glare at them. "I am the new Head of Security. If I find myself disturbed again because of something like this, I'll start cutting off bits and breaking out the chastity belts! Am I Clear?!" he roared, intimidating the kids.

"Yes, sir!" they both cried, jumping to their feet, and clutching one another in fear.

"Good. Spread the word," Xander said calmer as he started pushing the boy out the door of the dormitory with Joyce dragging the girl. He stomped out of the portrait leaving a frightened group of kids in the common room.

"So, just to clarify, you dragged me away from my life of dealing with super-powered girls… to corral a bunch of wand-waving magic children of both genders? Do you know how hard it was to keep the Slayers in line?" he all but snarled.

"Erm… I suppose you could put it that way," Joyce said with a sheepish smile.

"You're lucky I love ya, Joyce," he said with a sigh, pulling her into a one-armed hug. "We really missed you, you know. Things weren't the same after you died," he said with a great deal of emotion, hugging her with the other arm as well. "Buffy almost lost it a time or two, but she's a trooper and pulled it all together. She still keeps Dawn on the straight and narrow."

"Sorry I'm late," Minerva huffed breathlessly, causing the scene to fall apart.

"Not to worry, Minerva. We took care of it," Joyce assured her, patting the poor woman's back. "This is now part of Xander's duties."

"Please, tell me this doesn't happen often," Xander begged. "Great Zeus, please tell me Sex Ed isn't part of my job?"

"What is Sex Ed?" the transfiguration teacher asked.

"No, it usually happens once or twice a year. Or after harrowing events," Joyce explained, holding in her laughter at Xander's horrified face. "And no, Sex Ed is not part of your job," she said, causing the one-eyed man to deflate with relief.

"Whew, that's a relief. Still, this is just as bad as Slayers. If things are going as bad as you predict, then those numbers are going to jump," Xander sighed, looking at his best friend's ghostly mom.

"I do hope not," Minerva sighed, the look on her face said she felt it just might. "I had better go have words with the perpetrators. I will see you two in the morning," she added, then walked briskly away.

Joyce and Xander headed back to the kids and put Harry to bed and escorted Hermione to the dorm.

"Will I always be staying here instead of the dorms?" Harry asked softly as Xander showed him where to sleep. His hopeful expression made Xander melt.

"Yes. I need you close just in case something happens. Hermione is right next door, so you'll have a friend nearby," the older man said reassuringly.

"Oh, okay," Harry said as he sank under the covers. "Night, Xander."

"Night, Harry," Xander said as he left, closing the door behind him. "Oh, before I forget, the first thing we're doing in the morning is getting you a checkup."

"Why?" the young boy asked.

"If your life is as bad as Joyce says, we need it on record, plus we need to treat anything that's wrong."

"Oh… well… okay. Night, Xander," he said again, this time rolling over to think about what the man just aid.

"Good night, Harry," Xander offered again as he closed the door. He then waited in the living room for Joyce to finish taking Hermione to her dorm. "You wanted to talk to me about something?" he asked with a wide yawn.

"Yeah, it goes with your new job. There's something in the castle that we need to take care of, but not tonight. Maybe when the kids go to bed tomorrow," she said, leaning against the wall.

"Sure. Do I need to bring my axe?"

"Wouldn't hurt."

"I'm going to hit the hay. Are you sure you don't want your room?" he asked even as he headed towards that room.

"Thanks, but no. I don't sleep. I'm just absorbed back into the castle when I'm not needed," she smiled. "Get some sleep, Xander, you have a lot to learn tomorrow, and I have to help Minerva figure out how that troll got in the building." She pointed to the bedroom door and gently nudged him in that direction.

"Okay, good night, Joyce," he said, giving her one last hug before heading for his new bed. It had been a long day, and it didn't look like it was going to get easier from here on out.

The following morning, Xander woke up at the most ungodly hour of 6 a.m. He hadn't slept in a real bed in over six months, and he had wanted to sleep in. Unfortunately, his inner alarm clock seemed to have other ideas.

He quickly got up and woke Harry. The two snuck off to the Hospital Wing and Harry had a thorough exam. Xander asked that she fix what she could and to make sure to document everything. Poppy gave Harry a potion to clear his lungs and told him other potions would be sent to him nightly.

The two went back to the 'house in the castle' and meet with a groggy Hermione, who was standing at the portrait. She looked good with her hair falling in natural curls. She was yawning, like she only had a few hours' sleep.

Harry and Xander worked out a schedule for the bathroom and then went downstairs after they were both dressed.

Following Xander's schedule, they were soon seated in the living room as the two kids went through their books and made sure they were set for the day. Xander and Joyce were going over what they needed to do today. "Breakfast is eaten in the Great Hall. I'll show you the way. You're going to need to learn the layout of the castle, but until then we'll help," she informed Xander, and then turn to Harry. "Xander needs to get into your usual routine. Professor McGonagall might want to see us as soon as— speak of the devil!" she exclaimed as a knock on the front door interrupted her.

Xander headed over and opened the door to find Minerva standing there. He stood to the side offering the standard Sunnydale invitation, and Minerva stepped over the threshold.

"You must be quite the powerful wizard to perform transfigurations of this magnitude," the Transfiguration teacher said awestruck. In all her many years at this school she had never seen such a feat that could be done in one night. The details were a marvel in and of themselves.

"Me? No, I'm just a carpenter. Joyce did this." Xander said, waving to the woman in question. "While I could probably do this if I had the right equipment. It would take me months and a full crew," he finished as he led her further into the house.

Minerva looked at Joyce in surprise.

"I am a magical building," Joyce smirked.

"I see," Minerva said as she sat in one of the free armchairs. "Breakfast will begin shortly, will you both be attending?"

"Yes, it'll be the perfect time to introduce Xander to everyone," Joyce said, waving at the misplaced man, who looked confident, yet a bit unsure.

"Harry, where's your comb? Or brush?" Xander asked the scruffy-haired boy, noting his rat's nest of a hair style.

"I don't have one," the boy shrugged. He never really needed one, his hair did what it wanted no matter how he tried to tame it.

"Here, Xander, I've finished Hermione's hair," Joyce said, tossing the brush to him.

"Lice?" he asked as he caught it, looking at it dubiously. He waved Harry over to stand in front of him.

"Magic!" she grinned. "Really, Xander, it's something you're going to have to get used to. Magic can do many wonderful things. In this case, keep parasites off heads. We learned that the hard way, way back when," she said blissfully, her eyes glazed a bit in remembrance.

Xander had Harry between his knees and was brushing his hair while Minerva and Hermione quizzed Joyce on the castle and herself. "I don't know what's different about your hair, but it just won't cooperate," the older man chuckled as he once more brushed the hair back, only for it to fall over the boy's eyes again.

"Perhaps a haircut might help," McGonagall said, eyeing the boy's hair with interest.

"No, it just grows back overnight," Harry sighed. He really would like to control his hair.

"Really?" Minerva asked curiously. "Mr. Potter, bring your brush over here for me," she ordered gently. With a gentle push from Xander, Harry shuffled over and relinquished his brush. After a few minutes careful brushing and examination, she sat back and let out a huge breath. "I know what the problem is. Well, not a problem, per se, but I do know someone who can help. I'll contact her after classes. For now, just do your best, dear," she told the young boy kindly.

After finishing with their preparations and going over what would be said to the students, the five left the house within the castle and went to breakfast. The Great Hall fell silent as they entered. All eyes focused on Xander. Rumors had been flying fast about the one-eyed man who had ripped a troll to pieces with his bare hands and nearly did the same to two students. Being teenagers —and humans— of course they believed the outlandish tales.

Minerva quickly strode to the front of the staff table with the other four hot on her heels. "If I could have your attention for a moment, please," she requested somewhat redundantly, as every face was already locked on their arrival. "I have a few announcements to make. Firstly, the gentleman next to me is Mr. Xander Harris. He is Mr. Potter's new guardian and bodyguard. He will be the new Head of Security. Secondly, the woman you see here," she pointed to Joyce, "is Joyce Summers, and she is going to be around the castle helping where she can. Finally, Professor Dumbledore has taken a short sabbatical and will return shortly. I am in charge until then. This should have no bearing on your classes. Please, continue with your breakfast." And with that, Minerva took her seat at among the staff, where she was instantly bombarded by questions.

Xander and Joyce followed Harry and Hermione to their seats at the Gryffindor table. The two adults found themselves fielding as many questions as the kids were. The Gryffindor students were all eager to hear more about their fight and to find out more about new 'staff members'.

Ron glared at his friend. "Where did you go last night. I've been worried sick. I had gotten Percy, but we couldn't find you."

"I found Hermione, and the troll. We were about to die when Xander showed up. He killed the troll with an axe, it was bloody wicked, and then we had to go to the headmaster's office, and then we slept in Xander's room. I would have told you, but it was late when we got there," Harry said, touching the highlights.

"Oh, well, that's okay then. Who is Xander?" he asked, looking warily at the one-eyed man.

"I'm here to help Harry," Xander answered for himself.

"Yeah, but why?"

"Lots of reasons. Most of which you don't need to know," was the evasive answer, accompanied with a cutting look.

Ron pouted, and then turned to Harry and started talking Quidditch. Harry tried to include Hermione, but she wasn't a fan. Xander seemed to be paying attention and he asked some questions. Soon enough, breakfast was over and the kids and Xander headed to class.

Transfiguration was the first class of the day, and Xander couldn't wait to see the students try and turn something into something else. He hoped that it wasn't human transfiguration. He still remembered when Amy had spent several years as a rat, and Buffy a few hours. And then there was the time Giles spent the day as a demon. And who can forget that Dawn used to be blob of bright green energy. None of them had been happy about that but looking back he could see that Sunnydale had prepared him well for this world of magic.

He watched the class try to turn a match into a needle, and briefly wondered when that would be handy. He figured it was a baby step to the main event. He wandered the class and came across a young man sitting isolated in the back to the class. Whether or not it was from bullying or shyness, he didn't know. Either way the kid looked like he was having harder time then the rest. Now, while he had some difficult times in school, Xander was far from stupid, so he figured this boy might just be a late bloomer.

"Hey, what's up? You look troubled," Xander asked the boy as he sat next to him.

"I just can't seem to get it right," the child moaned. "My gran was right, I'm all muggle." The boy lowered his head to his arms and looked like he was going to break out in tears at any moment.

"What's a muggle?"

"Someone without magic," the boy sighed in defeat.

"Well, that can't be right. You got invited here, didn't you?" the one-eyed man asked, gently grabbing a shoulder and nudging the boy to sit up again.

"Yeah, but I can't get anything right," the round-faced boy sighed heavily. He had been falling behind in all his classes. That's why he sat in the back. He didn't want the other kids to laugh at him, as they were wont to do.

"Perhaps it's not you. That wand looks a mite old. Is it yours?" Xander asked, looking at the worn wand, which looked like it had actually seen battle. The finish was dull, and there were chips of wood missing.

"No, it's my fathers, but Gran said I had to use it. She won't buy me a new one," the kid said softly. "She said, that if it was good enough for him, it would make me a great wizard. She's going to be so disappointed. I'm nothing."

"Don't say that. Everyone is something, they just don't always know it right away. What's your name, kid?"

"Oh, um, well, I'm Neville Longbottom," Neville stated shyly.

"Okay, Neville, I'm going to let you in on a little secret. Where I'm from, we didn't use wands. True, most of the witches I knew used rituals and stuff. But my friend Willow got so good that she just used hand gestures. Her friend was just as good. So, you see, it's all a matter of mind over matter. If you know you can do it, then you can," Xander said slyly and quietly. He didn't want to disturb the class.

"Really? Wow, she must have been really strong," the shy boy said in wide-eyed wonder.

"Oh, she was. And if she can, so can you. So, here's the plan. You put your wand down, don't worry, we won't hurt it, and close your eyes. Feel your magic, feel the warmth and strength in it, and let it fill you up and flow to your hands."

The boy did as bid and after a few minutes, and many encouraging words from Xander, his hands had a faint glow about them. A small smile played on his lips, like it was a very comforting feeling.

Xander was glad he was right, and that the boy was being held up by a faulty wand. "Okay, now do the first spell that comes to mind," he softly coaxed, and watched with satisfaction when Neville's finger glowed brighter than the rest of his hand. "Okay, now, cancel it," was the next instruction. And the light was gone. "Okay, now open your eyes."

Neville opened his eyes and saw his softly glowing hands. "Is that my magic?" he asked astonished.

"Yup," the proud man sitting next to him stated.

"Wow," was all the boy could think to say.

"So, you know you have magic, and you know how it feels. Watch the teachers and do what they do but feel your way to the spell. You did note that Professor McGonagall didn't use words or wand movements, right? So, they really aren't necessary. Just go with the flow and do it on your own."

"But what about tests and stuff?"

"Well, learn the movements, and spells, so you can pass, but know in your head that they aren't needed. If you keep this between us, then it could be a secret weapon against the bad guys."

"Yeah," Neville agreed, knowing better than some that there were bad people out there.

"So, now pick up your dad's wand, but realize where your power comes from, and turn that match into a needle," Xander said, softly.

Neville did just that and with great pleasure he continued to turn one match after another into needles. "This is great," he all but yelled, getting the attention of his classmates.

"Mr. Harris, just what have you done?" McGonagall asked, wanting to rub her temples, but valiantly holding off.

Xander did what he did best when he got caught. He put on a goofy grin and said, "Nothing."