2Disclaimer: I do not own the Attack on Titan series or any of the characters.
Titan Eren roared loudly, swiping haphazardly at the nearby trees causing giant branches to fall and the nearby scouts to sprint in every which way to avoid the flying debris. The newer members of the Survey Corps looked nervously at each other and backed away, turning and running back to their station as fast as their legs could carry them.
One of the (slightly) older Survey Corp members stood his ground, and scowled. "Oi! Quit being a giant baby and try it again, idiot!"
The cognizant Titan fell to his knees, leaning forward to get right into the human's face and roared again.
The young man wiped his face to get the Titan spit out and roared right back at him without any fear.
Sighing, another member joined the conversation and interrupted gently, "Jean, maybe we should be more patient with him. It's not that easy for him to do, you know."
Turning his head, Titan Eren made the same growling noises at the girl, baring his sharp teeth in an attempt to scare her off.
"Are you really gonna talk to Mikasa like that? Huh, you ugly oaf?!" Jean yelled, ignoring Mikasa's admonishing look.
At the reminder of who the girl was, Eren fell back so the back of his thighs rested on the heel of his feet and grunted, sounding strangely like a classic human Eren apology.
"Woo!" Hange jumped into the conversation, running from a ways back. "How did you get him to calm down?" she asked excitedly.
Mikasa frowned and turned to look at the scientist. "He was only acting out because he's tired and you're wearing him down. He's had enough training for the day." She crossed her arms over her chest. "Let him eat dinner and rest, and then he can try this again tomorrow."
Hange snorted. "You think we've been keeping him like this all day? We told him to take a break hours ago, but he's been determined to figure it out. He won't leave his Titan form. Maybe it's because he doesn't want to or maybe it's because he physically can't until he finishes his task. Hmm, or maybe it's because…" Hange continued to ramble on and on much to Mikasa's chagrin.
Bored of the conversation, Titan Eren turned back to his work and using one of the fallen branches from his temper tantrum, he began to trace one line in the soft dirt of the forest and then moved his hand again in the next direction.
The human Survey Corps members stopped in their discussion of Eren's schedule and health to watch the Titan squint at the ground and move his makeshift pen in the dirt. He seemed very determined, his large Titan eyes scrunched together as much as they could and his long pointy tongue stuck out to the side in deep concentration.
Mikasa brushed aside the wandering thought of how cute it was. He's in his Titan form, Mikasa reminded herself. He could be dangerous and even kill you if he wanted to.
He had tried to kill her once and the memory made Mikasa run a finger across the scar that marred her cheek. Despite that flashback, she could not find herself fearing the Titan as she should. When Titan Eren attacked her, it wasn't fear that gripped her, but worry. Titan Eren was still Eren and if there was one truth in the world, it was that she cared for Eren—no matter his form.
Just then, Eren threw the thick branch down on the ground again and hollered at the darkening sky, his persistent practice proving fruitless once again. Using his fortified fist, Eren punched a hole into the ground where he was working on his skill and destroyed any evidence of his improvement, or lack of.
"Bah." Jean rolled his eyes. "I'm tired of this." He made his way back to the cabin for dinner and rest, wishing the remaining two Survey Corps members a goodnight and tossing an off-hand insult to Eren to which Eren returned a good-natured (but not really) rumble.
She tried to hide a smile, but it made her happy to see Jean treat Eren the same way, whether he be a Titan or human, especially when so many feared Eren, even though he had proved countless times that he was on their side—the side for good.
Once Jean left, Hange yawned, stretching her arms above her head and muttering about the new experiments she was going to conduct in the morning. Eren gave her a weary look and Mikasa shook her head fondly at the overeager scientist. Noticing his childhood friend's reaction, Titan Eren gave a loud snort, sending a couple of birds in the trees flying out of their nests; Mikasa smiled at his action.
Looking between the two of them, Hange wished them both a goodnight and headed off to bed as well, following far behind Jean.
"Eren," Mikasa turned back to the Titan, "you really should be getting rest too. Please, let's walk back together."
She waited patiently for Eren to return back to his human form, but Eren made no indication of stopping. He turned his giant body away from her, sitting with his legs crossed under him, and grabbed another tree branch to pick up right where he left off.
A sigh of exasperation unwillingly left her body as she noted that Eren's stubborn tendencies preceded just his human form. She had no doubt as to why Eren pushed himself this hard. He always strove to prove himself to others and be the best he could, especially when people doubted him.
A few days ago, Hange noted that Eren's Titan was incapable of communicating with them through spoken language, since his mouth was not structured for speech, to which she claimed that Titan Eren could write things down in order to let them know what he was thinking. Captain Levi agreed, since it may prove to be important if they were ever on a mission and needed to make a quick change in plans or if they needed intel that only Titan Eren had.
When Eren was confronted with the question of if he would be able to write as a Titan since he couldn't talk, Eren agreed wholeheartedly to try and went out with Hange to practice his writing skills when he was more than twenty times his normal size and less lithe.
Everyone thought it would take a few hours at most for Eren to perfect his writing skills as a blundering giant, but as it turned out, gracefulness and dexterity didn't really translate well into Titan, so fine motor skills proved to be a more difficult task than expected.
Tell Eren to lift a heavy rock over his head, or stomp on something (or someone) until it exploded, and he had no problems whatsoever. Tell Eren to write the kanji for attack and it was suddenly the most impossible task in the world.
According to Hange, Titan Eren could apparently imagine the right word and connect the meaning, but he had difficulty in actually writing out the lines without somehow messing it up. This led to a lot of frustration, mostly on Eren's end, and Mikasa was left to watch the destruction left in Eren's wake.
The surrounding forest was broken down and left in splinters as Eren broke branch after branch to use as a writing tool to work on his motor skills. He worked relentlessly to perfect his writing style, but once the lines came a little off-kilter, Eren would immediately growl in frustration, throw away the branch, and start it again. Mikasa off-handedly wondered how Carla ever taught her little boy how to write if this was how Eren acted when he was a young human who was learning how to write for the first time. Carla truly was an angel, she thought to herself.
Mikasa adjusted the scarf around her neck, feeling the soft fabric and the sense of calm that came with it, to prepare herself and walked around Eren to stand right in front of him once more. "I know you're not going to listen to me, Eren, even though I know you can hear me." She stood her ground with her hands on her hips. "But I'm not leaving until you do, so I guess you're stuck with me."
Titan Eren paused in his writing to give her one long inquisitive look, before he grunted and did a motion that looked somewhat similar to a shrug. Then he looked back down at the ground to continue working.
Glaring at the back and forth motion of the tree branch in his hand, Mikasa reached out to the branch and put her hand on it causing Eren to immediately still his motion.
"Eren, please," she said, her head bowed so her face was slightly covered by her dark hair. "Don't overwork yourself." Slowly, her hand moved from the thick branch, moving down lower and lower until her small hand rested on the knuckle of Titan Eren's pointer finger.
Eren let the branch fall and it landed with a loud thud beside Mikasa. Now that his hand was free, he opened his palm further, allowing Mikasa to trace the lines of his large hands, feeling the rough calluses and small scratches from the many, many branches he had held.
Watching with curiosity as Mikasa continued to explore his hands, Eren let out a breath and scooped her up, so she fell lightly into the middle of his palm. He lifted his hand up slowly with Mikasa sprawled out in the middle and brought her up to eye level, so her face was right up to his.
Using her hands to push herself up, she stared him down while he held her in the middle of his palm, and then without a warning, Mikasa reached out and gave him a small pat on his nose.
In his attempt to look at her, his large Titan pupils went cross-eyed and he let out another grunt. This action caused Mikasa to giggle and she couldn't help the little, "Cute," that came out of her.
Titan Eren made a noise that almost sounded like a "Huh?" which Mikasa surely imagined as Eren refuting her statement since his Titan form was anything but cute.
"Yes, you are cute, Eren," Mikasa teased, feeling more comfortable around the Titan since he couldn't necessarily talk back. "And I love your hair. It looks nice, all long and grown out."
Titan Eren huffed, turning his head away from her and looking down. She could probably blame the heat of the setting sun for the light blush that scattered across Titan Eren's sharp face.
"I'm very proud of you, you know," Mikasa stated off-handedly. She took a seat in his hand, planting herself crisscrossed on his palm. She rested her own palms on his skin and leaned back to look at him. "I always knew you would be the greatest soldier. Ever since we were kids." She let out a long breath and Eren tilted his head curiously, as if asking what she was thinking. "Thank you, Eren," she said honestly, "for letting me stay by your side."
Another grunt. This time, Mikasa interpreted it as Eren scoffing at her. "Of course you stay by my side, Mikasa. Where else would you go?"
"I just want this to be over though, Eren. I want to see the ocean with you and Armin, and I want to go back home and rebuild it all. I want to stop fighting and just… live."
There was silence. And stillness.
Nothingness, until a small movement. Eren brought his other hand that had been resting on the forest floor up to Mikasa. With the gentle precision that he had yet to master, he used his index finger to brush the short hairs away from her face and then folded his finger to use his knuckle to rub tenderly on the side of her face. Almost as if he was petting her, assuring her of his presence. A promise.
Mikasa loosened her posture and closed her eyes, leaning her body against his large finger and relaxing under his ministration. She never had this much of Eren's attention before… at least not in a long time, so she intended to savor this feeling for as long as she could.
I love you, Eren, she thought to herself. My most beloved, my dear.
Even while Eren remained in his Titan form, she could still not bear to say the words out loud.
He already knows, she convinced herself. He already knows, so there is no point in saying out loud.
"I know what you're doing, Eren," Mikasa said in a teasing tone, opening just one eye to look him up and down. "You think you can distract me and get me to take a nap, while you get back to practicing your kanji? Not gonna happen, Mr. Yeager!"
In response to her accusation, Eren growled affectionately and leaned forward to nuzzle his nose against the side of her face.
She laughed loudly in a way that she hadn't done in years, squeezing her eyes shut and tossing her head back as she felt the laughter bubbling out of her chest. "EREH!" she exclaimed in the way she did when she's overcome with emotion.
Eren seemed to like the sound of her laughter and continued to tickle her with his nose, until she was gasping for breath.
When he finally stopped, she fell back and caught her breath, her chest heaving up and down while she released the last of her giggles. She wiped at her face, clearing it from any stray tears that had fallen while she was laughing. "I know you all too well, Eren."
Eren let out a short grunt, his humanoid face stretching in an attempt at a smile. His already open mouth stretched wider, curling upwards, and his eyes widened, lifting his eyebrows up as well.
"Cute," Mikasa mumbled again, sitting up and tilting her head to the side to smile warmly at him.
She imagined that Eren in his human form may have rolled his eyes at her, but she doubted that Titan Eren had that capability. Instead, he lifted the hand that held her higher and placed it near his broad shoulder, which she took as a sign that he wanted her to step off.
With a little jump, she landed gracefully on his shoulder and sat down, swinging her legs aimlessly. After a moment, she leaned sideways to rest her head against his neck before turning her head fully into it. She let out a warm breath and placed a small kiss on his neck, believing the action was so small and delicate that Eren probably wouldn't even have noticed. Aside from a small jolt, one that was not large enough to throw her off, Eren made no indication of acknowledging the kiss. Instead, he seemed more relaxed than the raging Titan she had witnessed with Jean and Hange not that long ago.
Mikasa yawned and hummed against his neck. "I'm not going to sleep, Eren."
Making a strange tittering noise that she had never heard on a Titan before, Eren turned his head to try and get a look at her, his eyes full of mirth as if to challenge her. "Yeah right, Mikasa," he seemed to say.
She yawned again. "I'm not going to bed until you are."
The sun was getting low in the sky, but there was enough light from the lampposts the Survey Corps members had set up before and the little fireflies that started to drift in, which added a warm glow to their scene.
She needed a distraction; something to keep her awake to challenge Eren's stubbornness and refusal to rest. That was when she noticed the beautiful flowers in the trees, many of which had fallen with Eren's tantrums.
On Eren's shoulders, she was at the perfect height to reach out to the vibrant flowers and viridian leaves, and she began to pluck them and place them on her lap.
At Eren's curious hum, she answered, "I'm making flower crowns. Remember how I used to make them when we were kids?"
Eren made a little motion with his shoulders, which Mikasa took as a "Yes."
"Well," she said, getting to work on her craft, "I think I remember the basics."
In order to accommodate her, Eren moved his body so Mikasa was in a position where there were the most flowers within arm's reach. While she picked the best looking flowers off of the branches, she couldn't help but reminisce about the past.
The last time she had made flower crowns was when she and Eren were playing on that special hill of theirs. A month or so had passed since her parents died and Mikasa was finally adjusting to her new home with the Yeager family.
Eren wanted to play 'Let's Kill Titans' and Mikasa simply wanted to play with Eren so she agreed. The two of them had run around chasing each other and while Mikasa played the Titan most of the time, sometimes Eren let her be the soldier and he was Titan she was supposed to kill.
After the two of them rolled down the hill for the nth time, all dirtied and worn out, they decided to stop by the stream and rest. Eren continually mumbled about how his mom was gonna yell at him for getting Mikasa all dirty, so Mikasa splashed into the cool water of the stream and tried to wash the dirt off.
"Oi, Mikasa!" Eren yelled out, startled by Mikasa's actions. "I didn't mean you had to jump into the river!" He rolled his pant legs up as far as he could and stumbled clumsily into the stream to get close to her.
Mikasa giggled. "It's fun, Eren!" She sent a splash of water his way and he looked at her appalled.
Eren scowled in that childish way he usually did before dropping all pretenses and wading closer to her, letting his clothing get wet as he fully immersed himself in the water. "You better tell mom this was your idea."
She giggled again and splashed him. "Okay, Eren."
This time, Eren splashed her back and the two of them had a water battle to which they both claimed to have won. In the end, Mikasa let Eren claim his victory, just to see that giant grin on his face.
When they had their fun in the stream, they waded out and started to ring out their clothing to release the excess water. Then they sat on the large rocks nearby to dry off in the midday sun.
Before he realized, Eren drifted off into sleep leaning back against the smooth warm rock, and didn't notice that Mikasa had shuffled off to explore on her own. An hour and a half later, he woke up to Mikasa's soft prodding and looked at what she held in her hands.
"I- I made this for you," she said shyly. She had a soft blush on her face and held out her gift with both hands, shuffling back-and-forth awkwardly on the balls of her feet.
"Huh?" Eren asked, rubbing the sleep from his eyes.
"It's a flower crown," she explained, still holding it out for him. But before Eren could protest that flowers were for girls, Mikasa continued quietly, "Mom and I used to make them together."
Eren continued to stare at her, not making a move, and Mikasa took it as a sign that he did not want her gift. She lowered her hands dejectedly, but then let out a small gasp of surprise when Eren grabbed the crown from her hands and placed it on his head.
"If it's a crown, then I'm the King of the Titan Killers!" he announced proudly. Then he looked at Mikasa and asked, "Where's your crown? The Queen of the Titan Killers needs a crown too."
With a final flourish, pulled back from the memory, Mikasa finished the last loop of her flower crown and held it up proudly. She had made it as large as she could with the materials she had in order for it to even be seen on the head of a Titan. "A crown," she announced proudly, setting the beautiful accessory on his head, "for the Titan Killer King."
Titan Eren gave her a look and she relented, placing her own, much smaller crown on the top of her own head. "And one for the Queen."
Without a warning, Eren stood up causing Mikasa to grab onto his hair to prevent herself from falling off his shoulders. Then he began to walk deeper into the forest until they came upon a stream where the Survey Corps members would bathe and wash their clothes during the daytime.
Eren crouched down and leaned forward to look at his reflection in the still water. Though the sky was darkening, they were still able to see a decent image looking back at them. He let out a grunt of approval in admiration of their matching flower crowns. Mikasa smiled softly, which was reflected in the water.
They spent a few minutes in silence, just looking at themselves in the cool blue of the silent stream. The water was occasionally broken by a passing fish or a stray leaf, but for the most part, they could clearly see their own expressions.
"How are you feeling, Eren?" Mikasa asked, because as much as she knew human Eren and his obvious, emotional expressions, his Titan expressions were much harder to gauge.
Eren rumbled in thought for a few seconds before using his pointy Titan finger to dig a hole into the soft mud that lay near the stream. He then lifted his finger and made another hole right beside the first. For his final action, he placed his dirtied finger under the two indents and dragged it to form an upward curve.
After careful observation, Mikasa realized that Eren had drawn a smiley face and laughed. "Eren, why don't you just draw what you want to say? You're a natural!" she exclaimed and Eren huffed, not knowing if she was just teasing him or being honest.
"Draw Armin!" she said excitedly.
Eren drew a circle around the smiley face to form Armin's face and dragged a line down from the head. He then added stick hands and legs to create the most basic figure.
Mikasa hummed in approval. "Now draw Sasha."
Eren thought for a moment before adding a long blob of a ponytail to the Armin stick figure and a wobbly circle in the stick hand of the stick figure.
"Is that supposed to be a potato in Sasha's hand?" Mikasa asked.
The Titan nodded and Mikasa laughed. "That's perfect! Okay, now you draw someone and I'll guess who it is!"
Enjoying the game, Eren drew a stick figure with rectangular glasses.
"Hange!" Mikasa correctly guessed.
Then he drew a very small stick figure, adding another figure beside it for reference.
"Captain Levi?" Mikasa choked out in between laughter. "He might kick you again if he saw that!"
For the final one, he forwent the stick figures and drew a wide circle, adding four rectangular legs on the bottom, a long neck on top, with a circular head and a mane to boot. To finish off the picture, he added a bushy tail to its back.
"A horse?" Mikasa asked, exasperatedly, "Really, Eren? I know you think Jean looks like a horse, but I just don't see it!"
Eren growled and wiped the moist ground with his hands, clearing the dirt of any drawings and stick figures.
"Maybe we can create an easy code for you," Mikasa suggested, realizing that talking about Jean was probably dampening his mood, "so instead of writing out the difficult kanji, you can draw what you need to tell us."
Eren grunted in agreement, and Mikasa announced that they would update Hange and Levi in the morning. She waited for Eren to leave his form, but he continued to stay in his Titan form.
"Maybe Hange is right," Mikasa mused, "Eren, are you unable to leave your Titan form?"
Eren shrugged, not too concerned with the fact that he may be stuck in his giant Titan body.
"So we should just wait until you tire yourself out?" she asked, to which Eren nodded.
"Okay, Eren." Mikasa nodded determinedly. "Then I'll stay with you until then."
He made a high pitched noise at that and Mikasa could almost hear human Eren yell at her to not be stupid.
"It's fine, Eren," she cajoled. She leaned against his neck and curled her body in, blinking slowly to fight the sleep away. "Besides, you're warmer than any bed in our cabin."
Eren relented, not that he had much of a choice, and he continued to practice his lettering. Maybe it was something that developed over time, but he felt as if his brain definitely worked slower when he was a Titan. He wondered if he spent more time as a Titan, then maybe eventually, he could learn to be more precise with his movements and even learn how to speak. He could get stronger. Strong enough to fight back. Strong enough to protect the people he loved.
Time continued to tick by, though Eren had no idea how long it had actually been. The only indication he had was by how much darker it was getting, as the only way for him to see the fruit of his labor was by moving the lamppost directly over his lettering and seeing if it was actually legible for once.
He worked and worked, going through the list that Hange had told him of the basic vocabulary that he had to master. He wrote and wrote, but it never looked right. He could never get the right words to appear in his brain for him to apply it in written form.
Simple words. It was simple words.
But it just didn't click.
Just then, the warm weight on his shoulder shifted, snuggling serenely into the crook of his neck as much as she could.
Eren's grip on the branch slackened and suddenly, everything was much clearer. He could see the words. He could see it as clearly as the moon in the sky.
With a newfound revelation, the spark in Eren grew and his grip tightened on his stylus. He moved with precision, his vision connecting his mind to the movement of his hands. He could see the lettering in his mind. Just that word.
Taking his time, he traced the lettering into the forest floor.
So many times he tried to find the right words, but this time, it came naturally to him. The word that was a part of him. The word that would never leave his mind. His mind, his life-force, his soul, his heart. All parts of him connected to it.
How could he ever forget?
With a final drag of the branch, Eren let the makeshift pen fall and admired his work.
He finally got it right.
His eyes widened excitedly and he turned his head to Mikasa, ready to hear what she had to say about his breakthrough, but the sight he was met with caught him off guard.
She was asleep. Her body completely slack against him. It was a rare sight to see Mikasa so serene. He considered himself lucky to be one of the few people Mikasa found herself comfortable enough to sleep next to.
Every breath Mikasa took in and out made Eren feel like she was really breathing life into him.
She stayed awake with him as long as she could, through the dark night, just to keep him company. Why, Mikasa, Eren thought, why do you concern yourself so much with me?
The unwavering loyalty of Mikasa never ceased to amaze him. She was strong. Much stronger than him (though he would never admit that out-loud). Her raw power left him in the dust time and time again, yet she always made her way back to him.
She bewildered him.
A light breeze blew and her worn-down red scarf fluttered against her neck and Mikasa let out a little shudder, her body trying to warm itself.
With gentle Titan hands, he plucked her from his shoulder and cupped her entire body in his hands. Then he leaned back, his head touching the forest floor. Once he was in position, he placed her body, with as much tenderness as he could muster, right at the center of his chest, right where his heart should be.
It was fitting, he supposed, that Mikasa's body fit comfortably in the concave of his Titan chest, curled into his heart like a small stray kitten.
Closing his eyes, he let out a small hum and his chest moved up and down, slowly drifting into his own slumber. Mikasa smiled as she listened to the song of his heartbeat.
She was warm.
When Eren woke again, his Titan body was deteriorating and he managed to squeeze his way out of the form, finally back to his human consciousness and body. His eyes drifted to Mikasa who was still asleep on his decomposing Titan form and after the initial shock at the sight faded, he remembered what had transpired while he was a Titan.
He took a few moments to climb up his form and nudge the girl, but she refused to budge.
Mikasa was always a light sleeper, waking at the drop of a pin or at the slightest sign of trouble. However, whenever he was around, she would be out like a light.
He reckoned if he moved a few meters away, Mikasa would wake from her sleep and follow him, as she always did, but somehow, looking at her tranquil body and her small, pursed lips letting out soft huffs of breath into the night air, he couldn't bring himself to do that.
Trying not to disturb her, though there was no way Mikasa was actually able to sleep through that, he managed to maneuver her body onto his back and he gripped the undersides of her thighs with his hands, heaving her up to wrap her legs around him. She fit comfortably against him, and letting out a pleasant sigh, she wrapped her arms around his neck, her hands hanging loosely in front of him. Eren took a moment to adjust the flower crown on her head, fitting it so that it wouldn't fall off when they moved.
Before he left the sylvan scene, where he took much of his frustration out on, he took a minute to look down at the dirt beside his diminished Titan form.
Right there was the culmination of all his determination and diligence. Sure, it wasn't what Hange and Levi were hoping for, but to Eren, it was so much better.
Everything he spent the past day and night trying to accomplish, pouring his heart into, was laid out in front of him on the forest floor.
Just one more glance, Eren kept telling himself; he tightened his grip on the dozing Mikasa, his inspiration and muse, but he couldn't bring himself to leave as unbridled delight and pride filled every part of his body.
One more look at his Titan masterpiece before he headed back to the cabins.
One more look at his work of art.
The biggest piece of his heart.
There, written in crude lettering, but still legible to the human eye, was the name: Mikasa.
ミカサ
Author's Note: I hope you enjoyed this one shot! I would really appreciate it if you could leave a review and feed my amateur writer soul!