4,461A/N: Chapter title is a bit of a silly joke, don't mind me...
In other news, I'm planning some updates for the Boys in my head, just want to watch all the new episodes first.
That said, Can anyone see this chapter? Notifications are down yet again. Do let me know in the reviews! Appreciate you all~!
Just wanted to say, I appreciate you all! More feedback means faster updates! It's especially important, in these, trying times, with the main site notifications down. Every word counts and i appreciate you all! All these reviews really keep me inspired! Looking forward to hearing from you~!
Speaking of which, I finally won, after many hours, I've beaten the DLC...and I am dead inside.
What. Was. THAT ENDING?! How am I to sleep after that!
In other news, I have a vehicle again...I just owe a lot of money on said vehicle after the repairs. Now I need the bloody brakes fixed and the AC besides because it is hot, hot, HOT. I can live without the air conditioning, though it'll be hot and uncomfortable. The former...not so much. Truly, the world runs on money these days, and this is what I get for having the same car for so long. Still taking care of my sister until mid-July, so that's eating into my time as well. But once that's done, I'll finally have more time to write...I hope. If not, I just might shatter like the Elden Ring.
As ever, I own no references, quotes, themes or memes. They're tributes to legends far greater than little 'ol me.
I'm just a humble author trying to make his way in this wild world, one word at a time.
Time and feedback will determine if this remains a story. Simple as that.
In other words...its up to YOU, the reader. Do let me know~!
SPOILERS FOR SHADOWS OF THE ERDTREE AHEAD!
"I want those swords! They're awesome!
"I beg your pardon?! You can't just say such a thing out of the blue!"
"Can, have, and Imma gonna say it again! Gimme!"
"We barely know one another!"
~?
Twin Moons
Greyoll regarded the gaping crater in the snowy ground with a petulant frown.
Lansseax tilted her head beside her. "Think they fell in?"
A shrug. "One way to find out! Banzai!"
She tucked her wings in and dove.
Into the shadows.
(.0.0.0.)
Moonrithyll never saw her Doom until it was too late.
One moment she was standing guard before Lady Rellana's chamber. In the next...
.
..
...Watch out, watch out, watch ouuuuuut!"
Something struck her and sent her spinning into a wall, knocking her helmet askew. From there she stumbled, only for someone to catch her in their arms.
"Huh." a bright, glowing man with golden eyes stared down at her through her blurry vision. "So you're a brunette. Never would've thought that. Nice brown eyes...
She tried to speak, really, she did. Alas, all that emerged as a soft, disbelieving:
"Bwuh?"
"Sorry, sorry, sorry" he dropped her and kicked backward with a laugh! I'll talk to you later! Have fun with Freyja, ya know!"
Baffled, the Carian Knightess could only tilt her head and blink at the golden streak as it raced past.
Her head titled further. "...by the moon and the stars, what was that, and where can I get one?"
She was still balking when Freyja hit her from behind like a ton of bricks.
"He's taken!"
(.0.0.0.)
Rellana stood ready.
Blades in hand, she stood before the gate.
She could hear the sounds of combat from without; he was coming.
Long had she heard tell of an arrogant outlander tearing through the Realm of Shadow like a hurricane, a Tarnished of great renown and strength obliterating all resistance and rapidly drawing allies to his side. Rumors ran rife and thick within the castle. Some said he was a monster who lived only to rip and tear; a vengeful wraith come to punish them for their transgressions against the Hornsent. Still others believed him to be an envoy of Marika herself, sent to guide them back to the Erdtree. A select few even claimed he was Miquella reborn, that his silver tongue won over adversary after adversary.
Regardless of who or what he was, knew he would work his way over here sooner or later, as was his wont.
If a fight was to be had, she he would not bested. She was the Sword of Messmer, not some untrained pup, and she would not be caught unawares...
.
..
...but she was so bloody bored! When was he going to arrive?! How long must she hold this pose?!
How long did she have to wait before she was finally fulfilled?
Bitter thoughts crept in despite her best efforts.
Messmer was grand, really, he was, but he hadn't paid any attention to her in well over a century. She wanted to be seen! She wanted to be adored! She wanted to be loved! She, who had thrown away her inheritance for the sake of this "Noble" crusade, cast aside all semblance of dignity and honor...and for what?
No! Stay strong! She wasn't thirsty no matter what anyone said and she would not be-
Aha! Movement the fog door rippled before her.
And he finally emerged at long last.
The first thing she noticed were his eyes, those piercing orbs of brightest blue. Next his scruffy blond hair, in dire need of a haircut. Last came his whiskered cheeks, dimpled in a selfsame smile and his body...clad in strangely familiar armor. How quaint. It felt as though she'd seen it somewhere before long ago, yet the memory was long forgotten. After so many years spent here in the Realm of Shadow, it was bitterly difficult to recall anything of meaningful import. Such was the manner of her exile.
But no matter! Here at last she would have purpose again, if only for a short while.
She intended to savor it.
Scowling beneath her helm she edged forward. "And who art thou, stranger?"
"Nobody important," the newcomer clasped both hands behind his head, surveyed his surroundings for a moment and beamed at her. "Just passing through. Although...you got any idea where I can find this Messmer guy? Freyja was pretty scarce on details. She said to head for the castle, but I think I got the wrong one...
He sought Lord Messmer? Why? Was he here to kill him?
"For what purpose do you seek the Lord Impaler?"
"Lord Impaler, huh?" he crossed both arms before his chest and squinted at her. "I guess you could say I wanna have a chat with him."
"What manner of chat...?"
The blond beamed. "I just wanna talk with him."
She wasn't falling for that! Doubtless this miscreant meant to murder the man she loved!
'Love,' a nasty little voice laughed at her and belatedly, she realized it was her own. 'He's scarcely said ten words to us in the last year...
Stop.
'What was the last thing he said to us? Oh yes, I remember. '
She did not wish to recall it.
'You are in the way.'
Stooooop!
Bridling, the former princess, drew herself up and shook free from her doldrums to glare at this...this...this hoodlum! "I am Rellana, sword of Messmer! And you shall not reach him so long as I live!"
Much to her great dismay, the young man actually perked up at her declaration. "Wait, you're his sworn sword?"
"I am!" she preened, puffing out her chest.
"Great!" the nameless blond slapped a fist into an open palm. "That's perfect. You must be best buddies, then."
Rellana winced.
"Okay, that silence of yours is telling me otherwise, so...friends...?""
The wince became a whine.
"Colleagues?"
She studiously averted her gaze.
"Do you even talk to him?"
Was that the sound of her pride crumbling to ash...?
...ah, I get it." young man made an exasperated little noise. He doesn't pay any attention to you at all, does he?"
Emotional damage to the extreme!
"Alright," he finished with a shake of the head. "Seems I've misjudged things here. Sorry," he clasped his hands and bowed deeply at the waist. "I'll just be going, won't be taking up anymore of your day-
Was he implying that fighting her would be a waste of time?
Rellana's temper snapped. "...wait."
He paused. "For what...?"
She couldn't bear it; couldn't tolerate his existence any longer. In a matter of moments he had trampled over her pride and made her face an ugly truth; she was pining in a castle for a man who would never come. All this time spent waiting, wanting, wailing...all for naught. She admired Messmer greatly, but if felt the same, nay, if he experienced even the smallest iota of the yearning that burned in her own breast, then surely he would've come to see her by now, rather than sending her away.
He did not care for her. Not one jot.
The realization stung her like an angry asp.
And this man...this oaf...was responsible for it all.
"You good...? Look, if things aren't good with you and this Messmer guy, maybe I can help-
Rellana rounded on her intruder with a snarl. "If you won't hold your tongue, then I will gladly remove it for you!"
He balked. What did I even do?!"
"YOU WERE BORN!" She slashed at him in a flurry of blows, only for him to weave his way away from the fog door, forcing her to give chase. "You have stolen my honor! And the debt must be paid!"
"But I wanna keep my runes!"
"I didn't mean those, you son of a whore...!
Without warning, he caught her blades, one to each hand.
"Lemme stop ya there." he grinned up at her, eyes smoldering gold. "My mum was a very nice lady. And I didn't come here to be insulted, ya know."
He side-eyed her blades with intent.
"Nice swords ya got there...
(.0.0.0.)
Radahn watched the brawl begin.
He'd chosen to stay in spectral form for the duration of the duel.
The reason seemed obvious to him. He wasn't dumb. Really, he wasn't. He just...didn't understand things sometimes.
It wasn't his fault, really. Ranni and Rykard were the smart ones. He had his own brief flashes of brilliance in battle, but he cared for little without. So here he was, observing, trying no to embarrass his new friend. Just minding his own business, yessir, no problems here, no sirree.
"Nice swords ya got there...!" Naruto patted the still-stowed blades on his back. "Mine are bigger."
Radah tilted his head, even as Rellana gulped.
"That said, I love those weapons of yours!" he chirruped happily. "Can I have them if I win?"
Rellana's gulp became a strangled squeak. "We barely know one another!"
"Yeah, so...?"
Radahn bit his fist to stifle a silent snicker in the background. Did his friend have any idea what he was implying? He didn't know about Carian tradition, did he...?
No, nay, not at all. He happily let Naruto dig that hole; he would've handed him a shovel to help, if he could.
Naruto advanced, heedless of the angry woman he was unwittingly wooing.
(.0.0.0.)
Her foe advanced.
Light flared to life on his body, burning bright blindingly.
The soruce wasn't fire...but Runes. No, Great Runes! So any of them! Where had he...when had he...?
"Would you believe I'm only missing three?" He granted her a cheeky grin, even as he continued to force her backward, step by startling step. "Miquella, Malenia, and Ranni. Once I get those three, I can finally get into that tree and end this wild journey of mine. But before it ends, I've got some loose ends to tie up. Sooo...
He flung his arms up, forcing her swords high.
As she reeled, he drew a fist back with devastating intent.
...pardon the pun here...but its time to say goodnight, moon!"
Rellana never saw the punch that rang her helmet like a gong, but she felt it. Frantic she twisted herself aside to avoid the follow up-no, he'd hit her anyway! Her helmet dented and she saw stars, the very moon and the cosmos. Pivoting despite the black spots dancing before her vision, she thrust both blades forward, aiming to catch him in a pincer.
He parried her.
Once.
Twice.
Thrice.
Four, five, six, no dice!
She howled at him. "Cease that at once!"
He did not; much to her annoyance the Interloper's palm flicked out and slapped her right blade aside, followed by her left, then right, then left yet again. Each strike was diverted with glowing grace; superior skill and a terrible twist, each one of which nearly wrenched her wrists from their sockets.
It hurt.
It hurt, it hurt, it hurt!
Perhaps worst of all was the smile. Like he pitied her; as though he understood her plight, her blind loyalty, her dauntless devotion to Lord Messmer.
He said he could help. That he could fix things.
Liar. Like all the rest. She didn't believe him, nary a word.
She already knew; she'd known from the beginning that Messmer was lost in his hate. There was naught she could do.
She hated it, almost as much as she hated herself, as she hated this fop of a fool before her!
As though sensing that thought, the glowing whiskered warrior scowled.
"You want me to stop parrying? Fine."
His fist rocketed in and struck her helm, rending the metal asunder. It flew clean off her head and ruined her long braid, sending her dark hair billowing out behind her. She clawed at her face, dragging her fingers down her forehead to wipe blood away, to no avail. It dripped down into her eyes and stained her world red.
Somehow, that made him even more terrifying.
"Well, I'll be." he paused, frowning at her. "You kinda look like Rennala...
Her thoughts fizzled to dying embers. "How do you know that name?"
The whiskered warrior would not answer. Fear gripped her heart.
"HOW DO YOU KNOW THAT NAME?!"
"Well, I met her, obviously." the blond beamed. "She's a very nice lady. Shame about her kids though...
The fiend! He'd slaughtered them, hadn't he?! If she hadn't been mad before, she was furious now.
"Enough...!" Her blade bit bit into the stone floor as she righted herself. "You mock me, denigrate me at every turn, and now you make light of slaughtering my own kin?! In a fit of pique, set her left blade ablaze and ignited her right with moonlight, bathing the room in their eerie glow. "Enough of thee! I shall have thy corpse carted out for the crows!"
To her great dismay, the sight of her ignited weapons only intrigued him.
"That settles it! Those swords are awesome! Are you sure I can't have 'em if I win?"
Rellana's face flushed beneath her helm anew. Have her swords...was he so stubbornly speaking of marriage?! "I beg your pardon?! You can't just say such a thing out of the blue!"
"Can, have, and Imma gonna say it again! Gimme!"
She shrank back. "We barely know one another!"
"I fail to see your point...
Rellana took a deep breath to center herself and focused. Mustn't let him get under her skin. She would not falter here.
A carian phalanx did naught to him; he took the hits and barreled right through.
She met him with blazing blades in hand.
Slash after slash, sweep after her sweep with her glintstone greatsword, to no avail. Ducking a sideswipe, he caught the blue cloth of her armor and yanked, hauling her off balance in spectacular fashion; from there, he swept her legs and knocked her right on her arse as she hadn't been since she was a child.
"Had enough yet?"
Her face flushed. "Never!"
She summoned her signature sorcery and dropped twin moons down on his head; then, while he was stunned, she came smashing in for a third strike, knocking him down at last and...
"Not bad," he rasped a laugh. "I'd almost forgotten what pain felt like...
.
..
...what was this chill? He was down on his knee, yet for some reason she found herself loathe to approach him.
Rellana stowed her swords, grabbed him by the neck, and wrenched him into a wall.
Wait. She had him by the throat. So why...why was he smiling?
Naruto grinned, heedless of the blood on his face, the fingers biting down into his windpipe, even the wall he was being crushed into. "Not bad!" he gripped her wrist, locked his legs around her arm and latched on like a limpet. "Lets kick it up a notch or two!"
His entire body twisted to the right, defying momentum, gravity, inertia, all of it to wrest her down to the ground.
An open palm smashed into her ribs and she went flying. Righting herself, she glimpse his grinning face.
Something shimmering over his back. No, someone. "Are you quite done playing with her?"
"Yeah," he cracked his neck. "I guess."
"Phase two, then?
"Lets."
Her eyes bulged. "Phase what-
She never found out what he meant by that.
Up came his arms, ripping black greatswords from his back. Another memory stirred, only to shatter as he brandished those bearing those menacing weapons, threw his head back, and howled at the sky.
The rest, as they say, was history.
Mighty gravity magic hauled her inward, shattering her stance and breaking her poise. His blades arced up; and came crashing down.
Frantic, she tried to raise her blade, crossing them in an x-shape before her bloodied face. Had to block...!
Too late. He slapped them aside and barreled through.
The sheer force of the impact shattered her guard, sundered her armor and...
Darkness.
She must've blacked out for a moment; because when she came to, she found herself lying in deep crater. Panic bleated in her. No! Mustn't admit defeat! Wasted and gasping for air, she hauled herself upright and planted her rightmost sword in a stone to steady her wavering body. Bits of broken armor sloughed from her shoulders and back and distantly, she became aware of the cool breeze against her bosom. She dare not look down for fear of what she might find there.
Breathe. Had to breathe before-
Naruto showed no mercy.
"ORAH!"
A knee whistled in out of nowhere and struck her chin, snapping her head back. A fist found her throat, then her gut, now her chest -blasting the breath from her lungs. She tried to riposte, only to find herself countered once more. The followup raked across her armor and broke three ribs, rendering her retort a gasping wheeze:
"Stop! Parrying! Me!"
And he did.
"Fine. You said no more parrying." He dropped of his blades and swept a hand up, conjuring a massive sphere of light. "So parry this, you filthy casual."
His arm swept and she tried; she really, truly did.
Rellana's world went white as the pain...
.
..
...why was there no pain?
She dared to creak an eye open and found herself alive. Relatively intact, even, despite her state of undress.
Not so the wall opposite her.
Craning her neck, she saw the ruined remains -a lack thereof- and balked. That wall was meters thick. Impenetrable. Yet now she could see rising sun through the gap. That could've been her just now. One hit from an attack like that and...nothing. No, less than nothing. She would cease to exist. A bead of sweat ran down her brow as she looked the Intruder's way, but no followup attack came.
Instead, he offered her his hand.
"I'm sorry." he smiled down at her, framed in the light of the sun, "Someone like you deserves all the attention in the world, and all the love, too. I hope you find someone special someday. I'll let you be, now."
Her heart thuddded most painfully.
Find someone special, he said?
She already had.
It was love, not at first sight, or even first fight, but first flight. Because with those words her heart had taken wing.
Messmer? Who was Messmer?! He didn't even give her the time of day anymore!
But now he was leaving! Departing, just as Messmer had, abandoning her never to be seen again.
"W-wait!l She called out after his rapidly retreating back. "I can tell you where Messer is...
"You can?!" He spun about and latched onto her hands with a boyish grin, a smile so pure that she couldn't help but squeak. "Great!"
Her face went seven shades of rose red and scarlet besides. "Fwaaaah...
Naruto frowned, not comprehending her words. "You alright, there?"
She could feel the room spinning. Ye gods but she had never held hands with a man before.
Absently, Naruto noticed her blades, fallen at their feet. Releasing her right hand while still holding onto her left, he knelt and retrieved it. She couldn't help but notice that it was the very same blade of fire that she had forged for Messmer so very long ago.
"Sooooo...since I won...
Holding it aloft, he beamed at her.
...I can keep this, right? If that's alright with you...?"
Rellana found herself nodding absently, too dazed to speak.
"Sweet!"
Realization struck a moment later.
Her sword. He had her sword. She'd just given him one of her prized weapons...! Sure there wasn't a ring on her finger but still!
Her own sword! His Hand! Holding!
Rellana swayed on her feet. Were they engaged now? Was this...marriage?
By all Carian rights and traditions...that would be an emphatic affirmative.
Well, darn. From single to married in less than an hour.
... big sister was never going to let her live this down.
A mad, disbelieving giggle fled from her trembling lips.
Naruto frowned. "Are you sure you're alright?"
Rellana kept laughing. "Y-Yes, just fine...
(.0.0.0.)
"Achoo!"
Leagues away, Rennala sneezed.
"My little sister is up to no good again it seems...
A/N: Congrats on your engagement~!
The many myriad misunderstandings are marvelous~! We'll cut it here for today~!
Well? Did you like this story? Yes? No? Maybe? Would you like weekly updates? By all means, speak up! Make yourselves heard! Your voice matters~!
Silence hurts worse than any flame. Looking forward to reading your feedback when I get home from work~ If this chapter gets a ton of feedback-hopefully!-then I'll do my best to ensure another early update again.
So in the Immortal Words of Atlas...Review, Wouldst Thou Kindly?
And have some previews. Some are quite a ways off, but still...
Mind you, most of these previews are the same.
Wouldn't do to spoil what's coming up.
Vote for what you want to see!
And as ever:
WARNING! WARNING! WARNING!
SPOILERS LAY AHEAD!
YE BE WARNED!
(Previews, in no particular order. You all know the first one~!)
Radahn's smile far too smug for his enjoyment. "She likes you, methinks."
"Shaddap!"
"YOU'RE MARRIED?!"
"CURSE YOU BAAAAAYYYYLE!
"Yeah, what he said! You tell 'em, Igon!"
Florisaax tilted her head. "What am I watching, exactly?"
Sir Ainsbach heaved a sigh. "She's a feisty lass, that one...
Reminded him of the old days.
Gaius crashed backward off his boar.
Latenna lowered her fist. "Thou wert saying?"
"I will not abide a lord devoid of light. Isn't that right, sister?"
I hereby swear! To every living being, and every living soul! Now comes the age of our Eden! A thousand year voyage guided by compassion! Beginning here, love encompasses all! No living thing will be denied, no deed censured in the name of Order! I am ready! To embrace the whole of it! Let us go together!
"Whoa, now!" He waved up at the fire giant. "Friendly! Friend! No stomping, please!"
The behemoth squinted down at him in utter confusion. Progress.
Naruto beamed up at it. "Wanna be friends?"
It stabbed a hand into its stomach.
"Whoa, hey?! What're you doing?!"
Flame flared forth and took on a strange shape...almost humanoid in nature...
I am Rakshasa! Face me if you dare!
Ow! Dang, she hits hard...
The Roundtable Hold lay in tatters. He flung open the doors. A man's dead body lay on the floor, broken and twisted with black briars.
Of Fia, he saw nothing; she was gone, and his unborn children with her.
All that remained was a note nailed to the wall.
...what is that thing?"
Hewg offered him the Weapon.
"Its what she asked for. The power to kill a god."
"I'm so sorry!"
"GIVE HER BACK!"
He grabbed the needle.
"Please don't go...please...I can't do this without you...
"I AM HOARAH LOUX!"
"I AM NARUTO UZUMAKI!"
Two titans collided with a snarl. And the Erdtree trembled.
Naruto's head snapped back against a rousing right hook barreled into his face, leaving him spitting blood.
Godfrey did the same, eyes squinted shut as he reeled in pain.
They reared back and struck as one with a mighty roar.
Their fists collided in a shockwave!
EDIT: Hey, you made it! Hope you enjoyed this!
Looking forward to chatting with you all when I get back from work~!
May you have a good day filled with luck and peace,
~Nz.
R ~!