4Authors Note: I have made another story. This is a sequel to Conversation and Escalation(which if you read youd probably guessed since the title is in the same dumb format, and if you read the summary you already know but I just wanted to reiterate it) which it would probably be best to read before this one and this is also related to Discussion and Fornication, Oh, and this is going to have a second chapter just so you know.
Im gonna stop with the disclaimers
Rei felt… well it was hard for her to put it all into words. Afterall, feelings were always such a struggle for the girl to understand, and even though she was getting better at accepting them, she was still awkward. The best she could do to describe what she was feeling was relief, and yet she still wanted to scream and cry and so many other things she hadn't felt or thought she would feel. But ever since she and Shinji had become lovers, she had found herself experiencing so many emotions she had repressed throughout her life. Some of which she had found to be amazing.
However, some of them were awful. Like the ones she had been going through for the past couple of days. And all of them stemming from the battle with the 12th angel that had appeared over Tokyo-3.
It had appeared as a floating ball that was black and covered in white stripes and lines. The size of it was intimidating, and it's strange orange blood pattern had made it an unknown on what to expect. But nothing could prepare them for what its true nature was. When they had gotten in position for attack, the second child had goaded Shinji into taking lead and acting arrogant as he went to engage the angel. As he did, the sphere had disappeared and a large black shadow appeared under Eva Unit-01. The unit was swallowed by the shadow, vanishing with the pilot still inside. Unit 00 and 02 were then forced to retreat as the shadow expanded.
It took all of Rei's willpower to keep herself composed. She had simply stayed quiet as their operations director, Major Misato Katsuragi, and the head of Project E, Dr. Ritsuko Akagi, worked on how to kill the angel. When the second child, Asuka langley Soryu, made a remark about Shinji being cocky, Rei had been ready to hit the girl, but the fourth child, Kaworu Nagisa, had stepped in to placate the two female pilots. Rei had pointedly ignored the redhead after that, while also struggling with the amount of anxiety and fear she was going through. Her seemingly neutral facade on her face was nearly shattered when they were told the plan regarding the angel and Unit-01.
Nerv had decided to enlist the JSSDF to empty their supply of N-2 mines into the angel's shadow, some plain of existence called a Dirac Sea, and blow it up, regardless of the damage that would be done to Eva Unit-01 and its pilot.
Rei felt numb when she heard that, utterly confused as to what she should do. She couldn't even recall what happened in the time between that briefing and the actual operation. The girl could barely control herself from shaking as she in Unit-00, and Asuka in Unit-02, activated their AT fields for the incoming JSSDF bombers. But before they could begin the attack on the angel, a miracle happened. A horrifyingly bloody miracle.
The angel's shadow had cracked apart as the sphere hovering above it turned pitch black before being ripped apart, spraying blood as a large wound appeared. From it, came Unit-01, moving well past its operating limit, letting out its mechanical roar as it ripped through the angel, freeing itself and landing upon the ground. It's purple armor covered in blood as the angel was now a pile of gorey mush. The scene was a terrifying reminder of the true nature of the Evangelion's, but Rei had never felt more relief than in that moment.
When they had eventually gotten Unit-01 to Nerv headquarters, they were able to open the entry plug and find Shinji relatively alright except for fatigue. The Major had been the first to the plug and had ended up hugging the boy, something Rei had wanted to do as she watched from afar, but was content with seeing him alright.
It wasn't long after that Shinji was taken to the medical facilities to rest and be checked over. Which is why Rei was now waiting in a chair by a sleeping Shinji in a medical room. She felt somewhat tired emotionally as she looked upon the boy's unconscious form. The girl didn't know what she was going to do when he woke up, currently she was stuck between scolding him for acting so arrogant, or hugging and kissing him.
'Love is full of too much ambivalence' Rei thought to herself while she watched her lover breath peacefully, a small smile gracing her face, 'But I'm still glad he is safe"
Truly, love was full of complexities. For instance, their relationship is not known by many, only her, Shinji, and the fourth child Kaworu know about it, and even then, the fourth child only knows because he had come across her and Shinji while they were intimate… twice. But the reason their relationship is not that known, is because Rei does not want others to know. While she doesn't care if people know how she feels for Shinji, Rei also doesn't want them interfering with their love life.
The bluenette was glad that he was understanding of that and hasn't told anyone else, even his friends with the exception of Kaworu who they both had to explain the nature of their relationship in order to avoid any misconceptions and ask him to refrain from telling everyone else. Something that Rei felt was necessary to iterate as while she doesn't hold any disdain for the pale boy, she certainly does not trust him and would avoid him completely outside of Nerv if it wasn't for the fact that Shinji was friends with him.
Rei was interrupted from her thoughts as she noticed Shinji starting to stir on the bed.
The boy reached a hand to rub his eyes as they opened. He first took note of the ceiling, knowing he had seen it before, and making the connection that he was in the hospital ward at the Geofront. He then noticed that he wasn't alone and saw that Rei was waiting in a chair next to his bed.
He sat up and tried to say something to her, but was stopped when Rei got up and quickly moved to hug him.
Shinji was taken aback at first, but reciprocated once he realized what was happening. Rei buried her face in the crook of his neck as she continued to embrace the boy. Shinji just took a deep breath as he held his arms around her back.
The two stayed silent in their hold for a moment before Rei pulled her face from the boy's shoulder, keeping her embrace as she shifted to look into his eyes.
"Rei…" Shinji began before getting interrupted.
"Don't… don't do that again, I do not care if it hurts your pride or ego, don't ever act so conceited during an operation again. While you are not fully to blame, you still allowed yourself to be manipulated into acting arrogant, and you nearly could have died because of it" Rei chastised, though Shinji saw the girl's eyes look watery as she did so.
"… I'm… I'm sorry Rei, I… I acted stupid" The boy acknowledged.
"I… I was scared, Shinji…" She told him as tears started to gather in her red eyes, "I thought that you truly weren't going to come back… and I didn't know what to do… and I just…"
Shinji pulled the girl into another tight hug, rubbing her back as he did so.
"I'm so sorry I scared you Rei… " He said as he used one of his hands to stroke her cheek.
"I'm just glad you're alright" She replied as she wiped her eyes.
Shinji stopped stroking her cheek as he continued to look at her. He then moved his lips until they touched hers, Rei quickly accepting the action.
The girl let out a content sigh as they kissed, keeping her hold on the boy before gently pulling apart.
The girl took a sniff and wrinkled her nose slightly, an action that Shinji thought looked cute.
"You should probably take a shower" Rei told him bluntly, to which Shinji blushed.
"I um, yeah, i'll do that as soon as I can" He said abashedly while rubbing the back of his head.
Rei had a small smile at the way Shinji could get so easily flustered, reaching a hand up to caress his cheek.
"... I want to spend a night with you again… " She eventually told him.
"Y-yeah?… I-I'd that" He responded with a light blush, "M-maybe I can come over to yours tonight?"
Rei shook her head at that however.
"As much as I'd enjoy you being with me tonight, I doubt the Major would be too comfortable with you staying out for the night right after being discharged from the hospital" She explained.
"O-oh, right" Shinji said as he realized that Misato probably wouldn't want him to be staying the night somewhere else after what happened.
"But, I would like you to come visit me as soon as you can," Rei told him hopefully, making the boy nod.
"I'll try to see if I can go over to your apartment tomorrow, and if not, i'll try the day after" He offered, to which Rei nodded.
"That works fine" She told him as she moved to get off the bed, "I should be heading back to my apartment now, but I do hope to see you tomorrow"
She then gives him a quick peck on the cheek, before getting up and heading to the door.
"... I love you Rei" Shinji quickly tells her, to which the girl paused to look at him.
Giving him another smile, she says it back, "I love you too, Shinji"
She then goes to exit the room, grabbing the door and opening it.
Only to be greeted by the second child, who looked to have been about to open the door.
The moment Rei saw that someone was in the way, she immediately made her face neutral. Meanwhile, Asuka looked at Rei in shock for a second, before her expression became an angry scowl.
Asuka then turned and angrily walked down the corridor before any words could be uttered.
Rei ignored the encounter and went down the corridor in the opposite direction.
She continued to go down the corridor and took a small amount of satisfaction in the fact that Shinji did not have to deal with Asuka for the moment, and all because of her mere presence near the boy. As she does not like the way in which the girl treats Shinji a majority of the time, and would rather he not deal with such treatment whilst he recovers.
In general, Rei didn't much care for the second child. She found the girl to be much too vain and narcissistic, and it doesn't help that her main color scheme seems to involve a lot of red, a color that Rei is not much fond of.
Unfortunately, Shinji had to spend the most time with Asuka out of anyone. Seeing as how he lives in the same apartment as her, goes to the same school as her, and has the same occupation. And yet, despite having to spend so much time with someone that belittles him, Shinji miraculously not only doesn't hate the girl, but considers her a friend to some capacity.
The blue haired girl had an initial fear that the second child would possibly attempt to seduce Shinji against his will. However, that fear had been somewhat alleviated as Shinji has been spending more time visiting her at her apartment under the guise of visiting his school friends' homes, thus spending less time around Asuka. Rei also noticed that the second child seems to almost be losing some amount of interest in Shinji, especially when Asuka sees him talking and being around her.
Overall, Rei did not like Shinji being around Asuka, and still saw the redhead as a possible threat to her and Shinji's relationship.
Rei then began to quiet her musings as she heard someone humming a tune and noticed another person walking down the hallway towards her direction. It was obvious who it was due to their pale skin and silver hair.
"Hello there Rei" Kaworu greeted as he stopped humming and stood in place, prompting Rei herself to halt.
"Nagisa," She acknowledged.
"You can call me Kaworu if you'd like," He told her.
"What do you want, Nagisa?" She asked bluntly, which did nothing to deter the boy.
"I was wondering how Shinji was doing, and I considered visiting him, but I'd rather not if he's still asleep" Kaworu explained.
"Pilot Ikari had awakened when I visited him and will most likely be released within the hour" Rei told him.
"Ah, it's good to know that he's alright… I'm sure you must have been worried for him" He said, looking at her, as though he was searching for something.
Rei didn't give any response, something which made the boy think for a moment.
"Tell me, didn't Asuka go to visit Shinji?" He asked, and while Rei felt the question wasn't truly genuine, she did notice how he seemed curious when he asked about the second child.
"I do not know, as when pilot Soryu saw me, she went off in the other direction" She told him, noting how the pale boy's expression seemed unreadable for a moment, before returning to his usual calm smile.
"You're probably glad about that, huh?" He asked in a jesting tone.
"My opinion on it is not important" Was all she replied with.
"You know you don't have to be coy about your relationship with Shinji with me," He said to her.
"I don't see how it is any of business, just because you know of it, does not mean that we will or need share our personal matters with you" Rei quickly retorted
The boy hummed.
"You are of course right, and while I don't want to be intrusive, I feel as though I should voice a concern about your relationship that I think is rather important" Kaworu coolly informed the girl.
"There is nothing for you to be concerned about regarding our relationship, both Shinji and I have been quite content with it and do not need anyone else interfering with it" She countered.
"Oh I have no doubt that he has been happy with you, but that's not what I mean. You see, I think you may have overlooked something important that can end up being detrimental to your romance with Shinji" He elucidated.
"... What do you mean?" Rei said while eyeing the boy with a critical gaze.
"Tell me… does he know anything? About your… nature?" He questioned, to which the girl look away, not saying anything, "... so he really doesn't know about you not being lilin"
"... As if you are any better" She turned to look at the silver haired boy, "You have not told him anything about your nature either despite being close with him as well"
"True" He agreed, "But then again, I'm just his friend, whereas you are his lover whom he has been sexually active with, so surely he of all people should have been told about such a thing before you two became item, no?"
Rei didn't have a reply to that.
"Besides, I've planned on telling the people I care about eventually," The boy started to walk away, "... but really, its up to you whether or not you decide to tell Shinji, I simply wanted to bring it to your attention, in case you wanted to tell him yourself and not let him learn about such things from… someone else… "
And with that, Kaworu left Rei to think in the hallway as he went the direction she had come from.
Rei stood rooted in place for moment before she realized that she was standing in the middle of the hallway
She forced herself to move, unconsciously heading to her apartment as she processed her discussion with the 4th child.
Despite the irritation the boy had made her feel by criticizing her and Shinji's relationship, she couldn't fault his claims. As she didn't she hadn't considered the matter of her nature at all while she's been with Shinji. She never thought about telling him, and it made her stomach feel queasy.
After all, they have already become so intimate with one another, going so far as to have sex on more than one occasion. And yet she had neglected to tell him the fact that she was not fully human and was part angel.
The thought about how he would react to that alone started to fill her with fear and anxiety.
But it wasn't the angel part of her DNA that she was most afraid of him knowing about, rather, it was the human part.
The information of where the human DNA used to create her came from or her entire creation in general was never kept explicitly secret from her.
She knew that the human aspect of her was made up of what little DNA was left of the late Dr. Yui Ikari.
Rei never really put much thought to what it meant to have the same DNA as Yui Ikari, who was Shinji's mother. But now… the idea of what this meant about her relationship with Shinji, utterly terrified her.
Thinking about how Shinji would react to knowing such a thing, made her chest feel heavy with dread. The image of him looking at her with betrayal, shock, and disgust made her heart ache painfully. And the idea of what he might say made her want to break down.
Why had she not thought about this before?
For him to know such a thing would undoubtedly mean the end of their relationship, and she did not want that at all.
But to not tell Shinji would be the same as lying to him. Deceiving him. She would just be using him at that point so that she could remain happy. And so what if he would be happy too, is it really better to be happy, than to know the truth. And can they be considered truly content with out knowing all the facts? Besides, who's to say he wouldn't find out from someone else. And what then?
It would only hurt him more if he knew she was actively lying to him. He would see it as a betrayal. Just another person who used him. But whos to say that he won't feel the same, should she tell him?
Rei didn't know what to do again, and she loathed that she was backed into a corner where not choosing to do anything will only have consequences. She only ever had to make so few decisions through out her life, most notably was when she seduced Shinji, as it is much easier to follow the orders and chooses made by others. But it seemed that whenever she did make choices herself, they often led to something better. Now, however, her choices seemed to be only terrible, yet still had to make one.
As Rei got on to one of the trains leading up to Tokyo-3 and sat down, she stared blankly out one of the windows, heavily considering her options as her mind was wrapped in turmoil.
All that she could think of as the train started to move was, 'Do I tell him?..."
Authors Note: This 1st chapter took me way longer than I to write than I think it should have, mostly due to me getting distracted, procastinating, or making changesm and overall just writers block. See I had this idea for a while, buts it been taking me longer than i thought to make it despite it being a short ficlet. Anyway, Ive already been working on chapter two and will hopefully have it out in the next two days and hopefully you like the story overall.