129Conjunction
16
Commissioned by Kenainath.
"I'm disappointed."
Looking over to Hina, Usagi asked, "Why?"
The redhead shrugged. "Everything went so smoothly I'm kind of…"
"Waiting for the other shoe to drop," Ranma supplied, and the girl nodded.
"Right. I was expecting a spar, maybe an actual throw down or some kind of battle. Youma to show up. But we got nada. Nothing. Kinda leave me feeling… blueballed," Hina sighed.
Sending the redhead a confused look, Ranma asked, "Wait. Aren't you the one who sent those youma after us in the park?"
"That was her?" Rei asked, suddenly finding the conversation much more interesting and pulling her out of hazy pink daydreams about sweaty, shirtless silver haired dog boy fighting sweaty, shirtless Ranma as she and Usagi watched.
"Ehehehe~!" Hina chuckled nervously, sticking her tongue out at Ranma. "I only did it to fuck with you, and get you three to get to know each other."
"Where did you get the youma, anyway? And where did you keep them? They weren't exactly normal. And the, uh, effects," Usagi blushed, casting a glance at Ranma. "Not that I'm complaining! I like the end results! I'm not mad, I'm just curious."
"Ah, well," Hina drew out the word. "I found 'em. Rounded 'em up. Stuffed 'em in a pocket dimension. With uh…" she whispered the last word and the others sent her confused looks.
"I didn't catch that. Say again," Rei demanded.
"—sai."
Ranma twitched even as Usagi and Rei looked more confused. The blonde wiggled a pinkie in her ear. "One more time?"
"Ha—mmf!" Hina found herself cut off as Ranma clapped a hand over her mouth.
"Don't," he grumbled. "You're talking about the old letch?"
"Mhmm," Hina nodded. Her eyes crinkled a moment later and Ranma jerked his hand away from her mouth as she licked his palm.
Rolling his eyes, Ranma wiped his hand off on Hina's shirt. "He's got some kinda spell or something on him. One of those 'say his name and he'll show up at the most inconvenient times' things. Say it three times and he'll pop out of a tree with your panties, or launch himself from the bushes and latch on."
""Ooh,"" Usagi and Rei nodded. The priestess continued, "Is he undead? That's usually a trait of certain specters, spirits, ghosts, and demons. Class Three, Summonable, I think."
"Nah. Just a pain in the ass," Ranma grunted. Raising an eyebrow as he reevaluated Hina, he asked, "You've got him locked up somewhere?"
The redhead nodded. "Yup~! In a pocket dimension. Stuffed it full of food, porno mags, lube, and all of the freshly used panties I could steal from the greater Tokyo metro area on short notice. Which is surprisingly a lot, actually! Did you know they have used pantie vending machines?"
"Ew!"
"Gross!"
"Why—" Ranma started, then shook his head as the two older senshi made disgusted faces. "No, never mind. He's alive in there?"
"Yeah. Hasn't even tried to escape yet. It's kinda weird, actually," Hina frowned.
Ranma considered her for a moment before asking, "You keeping it up with chi?"
"And magic."
"That's why," he nodded. "He's leeching off your chi. He'll try it eventually, but until then, he's gonna bide his time. How'd you get him in there, anyway?"
"Hm? How do you think?" Hina asked, her tone tinged with sarcasm. "I baited him in and kicked his ass."
Ranma snorted. "So he let you win."
"Definitely," Hina nodded. "He actually seemed, I dunno… proud?"
"Well yeah. If that other me taught you, that makes him your," Ranma began counting off fingers, "Great grandmaster. Your master's master's master. He probably figured out what was going on the moment you started tradin' blows."
"So why's he letting me keep him locked up? Just for the chi?" the redhead asked, and Ranma shrugged.
"No idea. He'll pop up when he gets bored. Always does."
Usagi pressed herself into Ranma's side, pulling his arm in between her breasts. "So, who is this?"
"The grandmaster of my school. Remember the old pervert I told you about?"
The blonde made a face. "Oh, him. Can we like, dump him in the ocean? Or on the moon?"
Ranma sighed, hanging his head. "Nah. Much as I wanna say yes, he's not that bad. And he is kinda useful sometimes."
"Enough about that!" Rei declared. "Back to the club, or…?"
Usagi considered for a moment before shaking her head. "I kind of just want to go home. Want to come with?" she asked, a grin spreading over her lips.
Rei looked back and forth between Ranma and Usagi. Opening and closing her mouth a few times, she eventually blushed and looked away. "A, another time. I, that is, I'm not… I'm not ready."
"Baaaaawk," Hina teased, and Rei turned and shot her a glare. The redhead stuck her tongue out as Ranma dropped his hand on top of her head.
"Knock it off. If she's not feeling it, she's not feeling it."
"Psh, fine," Hina huffed, crossing her arms over her chest. "Anyway, go have fun. I need to take care of some things, run down a few more leads. Alternates, in case this one falls through. I'll be around."
"Wait—" Usagi started, before the redhead disappeared. Usagi took a deep breath and yelled, "You could've come home with us, you know!"
"Maybe later," Hina's voice reached them from across the street.
Turning to Rei, Usagi grinned. "So. Next weekend?"
"Sure," Rei agreed, splitting off to head for the train station.
Ranma picked up Usagi and took to the rooftops, the blonde squealing as she laughed, clinging on as Ranma carried her and enjoying the ride.
"You look annoyed," Setsuna commented as she draped herself over Ranma's back, hunched over his paperwork as he was in the faculty lounge.
"Yeah, sorry. Just finishing up an assignment for the college, then I need to go meet with the Amazons again. Usagi and Michiru can't make it and I've been using them as a buffer between me and the Amazons," Ranma admitted, putting down his pen and stretching, Setsuna maintaining her place with the motion.
"Hmm. I see," the limette murmured. "Alright. I'm not doing anything this evening. I'll come with you. But you're taking me out for a drink after."
Chuckling, Ranma nodded. "Sure. You ready now, or you need some time?"
"I'm good," Setsuna pulled away and Ranma stood. The pair chatted as they left the school and made their way to the train station. It was a half hour wait for a train but neither minded. Eventually, the train pulled into the Nerima station and they got off.
"So, this is where it all happened," Setsuna hummed, looking around as they walked down the street towards the Cat Cafe. "I don't see crazy pouring off the walls."
"Haha. Give it time," Ranma grumbled, looking around warily.
"Mm. So you say, but I was promised a show," Setsuna teased. "You can't just get a girl's hopes for entertainment up like that and then not deliver."
Ranma sent her an annoyed look. "My life is not here for your amusement."
"If that's what you think, you're looking at it all wrong," the older woman shook her head.
"Yeah? How do you figure?"
"Hmm…" Putting a finger to her lips, Setsuna smiled. "If you can't be happy when your friends are happy, feel bad when they're hurt, or enjoy their suffering when you steal the last cookie and eat it in front of them, you're doing it wrong. Being close to someone means sharing in their joy and their sorrow. Their wins are your wins, their losses are your losses. All of us senshi are going to live a very long time. Indefinitely, really."
Looking over, she met Ranma's gaze, red eyes staring into blue. "When you win your challenge against Mamoru, you'll take everything he has. You'll be like us. You'll live just as long as we will. One day, not far into the future at all, you and I, and Usagi, Hotaru, and the rest are going to be married. Husband and wife, and wife, and wife, at least nine times over," she giggled and Ranma rolled his eyes. "I'm pretty sure I speak for all of us when I say that we want you to laugh at the things that were funny, even if in the moment, we were annoyed or even angry. Just as much, if not more, than we want you to hold us when we talk about the hard times and the bad days. If you can't share that, if you can't laugh together, then what's the point?"
Setsuna smiled and looked away, taking in the street around them as she let Ranma digest that. The martial artist frowned, letting his feet lead him down familiar roads as he thought, not particularly paying attention to their surroundings. Eventually, he grunted. "Yeah, I guess," he grumbled, earning a smile from Setsuna.
The senshi stepped closer and bumped her hip against his. "The real trick is being able to look back and laugh yourself."
"Yeah, that'd be a hell of a trick," he muttered, shaking his head. Pointing up ahead, he drew her attention to a restaurant that was just starting to fill with the evening rush. "That's the place."
When Setsuna didn't step away, Ranma reached out and put an arm around her, his hand resting on the woman's hip. A moment later, he nearly jumped as her own hand came down and latched onto his ass cheek, squeezing firmly. "What's that for?!"
"Just admiring," she sent him a cheeky grin as the pair walked through the doors.
Looking around, Ranma frowned as he realized the crowd was larger than usual. A moment later, Mousse spotted them and came over. "Saotome," he nodded. "Here to eat or for business?"
"Bu—"
"To eat," Setsuna smiled. "It's busy. We can wait on business until after it clears up."
Mousse gave a relieved sigh. "Thanks. This way."
They followed him to a back corner where he left them in a booth with a couple of menus. "Drinks?"
"You serve beer?" Setsuna asked, and Mousse nodded. "Great, let's see," she flipped over the menu and looked it over before nodding and ordering for them both. "And dumplings to go with, please."
Mousse nodded and left quickly, heading for the back. Turning her attention to Ranma, Setsuna grinned. "He's cute."
"Duck boy ain't bad looking, sure," Ranma nodded. "But he was a pain in my ass when it was all, 'Saotome prepare to die.'"
"Fufufu. No, I imagine not," Setsuna laughed quietly, looking over the rest of the menu for a moment before closing it and pushing it aside. "I thought he was supposed to be leaving?"
"He is, but I think he and the old ghoul are traveling together, back to China. She wanted to talk to me before she left. I'd kinda hoped to avoid it, but Shampoo called this morning to remind me and ask me to come by."
Further conversation was put on hold as their waitress appeared at the side of the table. A pitcher of beer and two full mugs were set out, along with a couple of plates of dumplings and a bowl of sweet and sour sauce. "Here you are~."
Ranma looked up, sending a grateful smile towards the woman, only to blink as he took her in. "Uh."
[spoiler=young woman]
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/spoiler]
The girl smiled down on him and Setsuna. "Are you ready to order?"
Setsuna chuckled at Ranma's confused look and quickly ordered for both of them. As the girl was about to take off, Ranma blurted, "I didn't know one of Shampoo's cousins was coming to visit."
"Hehe~! There is much you don't know," the young woman winked. "Unfortunately, I won't be staying much longer. I have to go back to the village and settle some things before I can return." Reaching out, she laid a hand on Ranma's and gave a teasing smile. "But I look forward to getting to know you better when I do."
"Uhh," Ranma was left at a loss as the girl laughed and hurried back to the kitchen, before popping out balancing a tray on her head and six more between both arms, his eyes following her as she moved about the restaurant with the same economy of motion as himself or Shampoo. In fact, the more he watched, the more she resembled Shampoo, down to the way she rolled her hips, placed her feet, her flirting with customers.
Shaking his head, Ranma brushed it off as an Amazon thing and her having grown up in the village with Shampoo. He broke his chopsticks apart and picked up a dumpling, dipping it in sauce and taking a bite. Looking up, he found Setsuna giving him an amused look over the rim of her drink as she proceeded to down half the mug in one go. "What's so funny?"
"Remind me again what your deal with the Amazons was," she asked, opening her own chopsticks and taking a dumpling for herself.
"Usagi cured Mousse and Shampoo. I got a mushroom for the old ghoul. In return, they're gonna leave us alone. Mostly. No more Amazon tricks anyway. They'll probably sell this place and buy one in Juuban, or just open another one. Not gonna get rid of them that easy. Cologne is supposed to go back to the Joketsuzoku and lay down the law, and make sure they stop sending people to bother us."
Nodding, Setsuna hummed as she chewed. After taking a moment to wash it down with a sip of beer, she asked, "What did those mushrooms do again?"
Ranma sighed, rolling his eyes. "Changes the age of whoever eats on based on the size of the mushroom. There was a whole thing with those and me and Ryoga getting stuck at like seven or so for a few days."
Setsuna stared at Ranma. Expectantly. Waiting. When he sent her a confused look, her lips quirked up into a grin and her eyes slid over to the new waitress—Shampoo's cousin. Ranma blinked, following her gaze. After a moment, a full body shiver struck him. "No. You don't think…?"
"How big was the mushroom you gave her?"
"Seventeen centimeters," the boy muttered, even as his face paled. "Oh damnit!"
"What's the matter?" Setsuna asked, looking particularly amused at his suffering.
Ranma turned a glare on the older woman. "She's old but she looks like that," he gestured at the admittedly beautiful teen girl flitting about the floor, working their side of the restaurant while Shampoo worked the other side, occasionally visible from where they sat.
Setsuna arched an eyebrow. "Is there a problem with that?"
"Yeah, she's old," Ranma stressed the words. "Like three hundred and something!"
"Is that all?" the green haired woman laughed. "She's practically a baby."
"Huh? What? No. She's ancient."
Setsuna rolled her eyes. Putting her drink down, she reached across the table and took Ranma's hand. Pushing off her shoe, she stretched out her leg and Ranma jumped in his seat as her hose covered foot found his crotch and began to rub his dick through his pants.
"Urk! S-setsuna, they're gonna notice," Ranma squeaked out, and the eldest senshi giggled.
"They won't. But I don't care. And neither should you," she shook her head as she felt him growing harder under her foot. "Ranma, how old do you think I am?"
Considering the woman across from him, Ranma studied her for a few moments before shrugging. "You'd have to be at least mid-twenties to teach and not also be a student yourself."
Nodding, Setsuna smiled. "And technically, you'd be correct."
"Technically?" he grunted out as she shifted her foot and he fought to keep a straight face.
"Mm. Hotaru and Usagi have told you our story before, right?" she asked, and he nodded. "You know we've each died at least once, some more than others."
"Yeah, but it never stuck," he nodded, wondering where she was going with this.
"Except for the time it did."
"Huh?" Ranma blinked, and Setsuna smiled. "What do you mean?"
"We've had a, what do they call it? Ah, right. A full party wipe. We've had a full party wipe before. So what do you think happens if all of us die and none of us are left to bring the others back?"
"I dunno but you're kinda making it hard to think about it," Ranma ground out as Setsuna slipped her other shoe off and joined the first foot with her other.
"Good," the woman teased, sticking her tongue out, before biting into another dumpling. When she was ready, she continued. "What happens is that one of us has to reincarnate again. Go through the whole growing up phase. Reawakening our memories. All of that. Except that takes time. Years and years. And there's only one of us with access to a working time machine. The Senshi of Time. Me."
"Okay…? What's your point?"
"I didn't die with the Silver Millennium, unlike the others. I lived through it all. I watched mankind claw their way back out of the stone age. I saw the last great city of Earth washed away during the Younger Dryas flood, buried beneath the sands. I've seen civilizations rise and fall. I was there for the birth of Jinmu-tenno, Qin Shi Huang, Octavian, Otto, King Tut, Ramses. I shared drinks with Napoleon, Sir Francis Drake, Arthur Conan Doyle, and others. I was there for every performance put on by every name you've ever heard of in classical music and a few you haven't. We all died, then I had to take the long road coming back and bringing everyone else back. My memories are mostly intact. So while this body is only in its twenties and I haven't had a chance to properly break it in, I'm old. Ancient, even."
A smirk pulled at Setsuna's lips and she pulled her feet away, slipping them back into her shoes. Ranma blinked dumbly for a moment and groaned quietly. "Why'd you stop?"
Picking up her mug, Setsuna took a sip as a smug little smile played over her lips. "I wouldn't want to make you uncomfortable, being so much older than you."
"Ugh." Ranma buried his face in his hands. "And you're just gonna keep looking like this forever, huh?"
"Pretty much," Setsuna nodded. "So will the rest of the girls. And you. I came to terms with the fact that I would always be the older partner in any relationship a long time ago, Ranma. I'll never not be robbing the cradle. But you're an adult. You can make your own decisions. Even if you'll never catch up, it's fine. The question is, are you okay with me? If you're not, I'll be disappointed, but I'll understand. If you are, then you can't exactly complain about Cologne."
Groaning quietly, Ranma asked, "Is this why Usagi says you give her headaches?"
"Probably," Setsuna grinned, before snagging the last dumpling. "Mmm."
"Oi!" Ranma growled, his chopsticks and hand blurring as he snatched the remaining half of the dumping from Setsuna's chopsticks, dipped it in sauce, and popped it into his mouth. "I ain't Usagi! I'm not gonna just let you steal the last dumpling!"
Setsuna beamed a smile. "Good. I like it when they fight back."
Glaring at the woman across from him, Ranma growled, "We're going back to your place and you're taking responsibility for what you started."
The woman blinked, before her face lit up in a grin. "Gladly."
When Cologne came around with their food, Ranma didn't say anything about her new look, but he did notice a quick and silent exchange between her and Setsuna. A smile and a nod, and a quiet look of thanks from the Amazon to the senshi, and then Cologne was gone again.
Eventually, they finished up their meal and Cologne waved for them to come to the back room while Mousse covered her area. Making their way into the newly young woman's office, they sat down around the desk and Cologne poured them tea, handing out cups.
"I see the mushroom worked," Ranma decided to open the discussion himself instead of waiting for Cologne.
The beautiful woman smiled, sipping her tea. "Quite well. Thank you, Ranma."
"No 'son in law?'" he raised an eyebrow and Cologne shook her head.
"No. No 'son in law' any more," she confirmed.
"So, this about that favor you wanted to ask for?"
The woman nodded. "Yes. Preferably before I leave for China, but I'll be fine waiting until after I come back."
Sighing, Ranma gestured for her to go on. "Alright. What is it?"
Cologne considered her tea cup for a few moments before finally looking up and meeting Ranma's eyes. "I would like for you to give me a child."
Ranma opened his mouth to deny it, but Setsuna held up a hand and silenced him. "Having heard stories of your people and your village, I understand why Ranma is extremely reluctant to go along with any such deal, even if you ignore the fact that he's in a relationship with us. I have to assume Usagi and Michiru knew, or at least suspected your intent in making the request for a favor, but the deal hasn't actually been brought up officially with the rest of us. And even if all of us were okay with it, Ranma is his own person—his girlfriends can't just pimp him out as a breeding stud, as I'm guessing it works for your people."
"It has traditionally gone that way, yes," Cologne nodded.
"If Ranma agrees, and we agree, then what happens in the best case scenario? You have a daughter, raise her among your people, and she grows up in a village in communist China that doesn't even have electricity. Her opportunities for education and later advancing in life would be limited due to the area and the government, and your people's own insular nature. I'm sure she'll grow up to be a prodigal martial artist, but at the cost of everything else.
"Moreover, having heard of your people I did a little digging myself. You're a matriarchal clan of misandrists and treat your own men worse than women were historically treated almost the world over, with few exceptions. You're up there with Africa for poor treatment of an entire sex. Shampoo's treatment of Mousse isn't the exception, it's the rule. I'm sure Ranma wouldn't want his daughter raised with disdain for half the population, only seeing them as little better than livestock for breeding and believing she can just beat up and drag off any male she wants to mate with. Worst case scenario, you have a son, and he goes into that system of abuse, growing up treated as livestock. I can't, in good conscience, allow it to happen."
Cologne sighed, seeming to collapse into herself a bit. The woman nodded. "And that is why I'm going back to China. To kill the elders."
"Do what?" Ranma asked, his mouth falling open.
"Why do you think the clan has been stuck in the past? Because they are ruled by it. By women who have been alive and in power far too long, because they're too strong for most of the others to kill. Oh, one is challenged in single combat and dies every great now and then, but that's rare. It would take a concerted effort from at least two other elders to put down any one of the others safely. The only time it doesn't happen like that is when some young warrior simply outlasts them physically."
"So that's how you're gonna keep them off my back?" Ranma asked, and Cologne nodded.
"It is. The only way the Joketsuzoku will stop is if the elders are dead and any who would make the attempt are too afraid to do so."
Frowning, Setsuna considered the younger woman for a few moments before saying, "This is going to destroy your tribe."
"I know."
"You'll break up one of the three factions keeping the communist party out of the area. The other tribes in the area will be vulnerable."
"They'll leave," Cologne nodded. "We'll destroy the pools before we go, to keep them out of the hands of the Maoists and their ilk. Better they be scattered and forced out into the new world than stuck clinging to the past, before some member of the Party gets it in their heads to just carpet bomb the valley one night."
Leaning back in her seat, the young woman sighed. "I've come to realize something, these last years, raising Shampoo, seeing her and little Mousse grow, and then leaving and seeing how far the rest of the world has come. Tradition is good, but not at the expense of your own people." Shifting her gaze to Ranma, she continued, "I overheard your conversation. It seems you and I have plenty of time to get to know one another. All I ask is that you give me a chance. And Shampoo, of course," she smiled. "My granddaughter's heart is still set on becoming your wife."
Frowning, Ranma crossed his arms over his chest. "Say I agree to this insanity. How's this supposed to work, then?"
"How do you want it to work?" Cologne laughed.
"I dunno. Seems like a lot of trouble to me," Ranma hummed, before a mischievous grin spread over his lips. "Maybe I should let someone else handle it. Give the old letch a mushroom and tell him where to find you—"
"Don't you dare!" Cologne hissed, glaring across the desk at Ranma, who smirked. "I made that mistake once. Never again."
"Ranma, be serious," Setsuna sighed. "The longer you stall, the longer it takes to get home and take responsibility."
"Right," Ranma sent the senshi a look, before turning back to Cologne. "I ain't pops. I don't want my kids to end up like I did. Cursed, sold half a dozen times over, and messed up by some botched training technique. Don't want 'em growing up without their dad, either. Definitely don't want 'em growing up to be like Shampoo or Mousse. So you couldn't just go on some ten year training trip or something. I'd need to be able to see them."
"Of course," Cologne nodded. "I would be counting on their father to help teach them, after all."
"And we ain't getting married!"
Cologne laughed. "No, I imagine there would be some complaints. That's fine, however."
"You won't start shit with everyone else?" Ranma asked, and she shook her head.
"No. I would have no reason or desire to. All I want is to be a mother again. To have a family of my own again."
Narrowing his eyes, Ranma added, "And you won't fill their heads full of Amazon crap?"
Cologne shook her head. "There wouldn't be much point to killing the other elders and freeing the tribe from their rule if I just went back to making the same old mistakes."
Ranma sat and considered for a while, before finally shaking his head. "I ain't saying yes right now, but I'm not saying no either. I want some more time to think about it."
Cologne smiled. "As I said, we have time. Take as much as you need. But don't keep me waiting too long. It's not polite to keep a woman waiting."
"Sure," Ranma grunted, standing from his chair and offering Setsuna a hand up. "When are you leaving?"
"Mousse and I will be getting on a boat within the next few days. I don't believe he'll be returning to Japan, but who knows?" Cologne shrugged. "I expect I'll be back in time for your challenge and the birth. You should really let me handle that, by the way. I've seen the hospitals and they do not impress. They know nothing of chi or magic and if it cannot be explained by their science, they have no place for it."
Frowning, Ranma asked, "Why would that be an issue?"
Cologne raised an eyebrow. "You're having children with the most magically powerful women on the planet. You think it won't cause some sort of problem? You know powerful magic, chi, or other energies can interfere with electronics. Imagine the potential dangers involved in bringing that much power into a environment like a hospital."
"Oh," Ranma muttered.
"We'll take care of it when the time comes," Setsuna waved his concerns off. "Though we won't say no to the help, if you're offering."
"Of course," Cologne nodded.
Shaking his head, Ranma headed for the door. "Right. Uh, thanks. Have a safe trip."
Mousse met them just outside the door. "Saotome."
"Mousse. Good luck in China."
Mousse nodded. "Thank you."
Frowning, Ranma jerked his thumb at the door to Cologne's office. "You know what the old bat's planning?"
When the other martial artist shook his head, Ranma boiled the situation down to the basics. "She's going back to kill the elders."
Mousse's mouth fell open. "She what? But—!"
"Yeah. Already had that discussion."
The other man sighed. "It seems I'll need to go let the other tribes know. Warn them of the threat. Once the Maoists learn that the Joketsuzoku are no longer a unified threat against them, their tanks will pour into the province."
"Well, you've got a place back here if you need it." Considering the other man for a moment, Ranma decided to take a risk. "I'm gonna start a company, building houses and stuff. Pretty much the same kinda stuff we did around Nerima any time we broke things. Could use another set of hands, especially now that you don't need those coke bottles to see and a little rain won't mean someone mistakes you for dinner."
"…You would do that for me?"
"Sure. You'd have to do some work to get certified legally, but I can help you out since I've been through most of it already. Faster we can get them done, the more money we'll make."
"I'll consider it. Thank you, Saotome," Mousse gave him a short bow, before slipping into Cologne's office.
Ranma found himself grabbed by the front of his pants and pulled towards the exit. Setsuna sent him a sexy smirk over her shoulder. "Now, about what I owe you…"