The old man sat at his desk, sucking on his lemon candy while twirling a strand of his beard hair. The Squib he was "courting" sent him the daily newspaper for Little Whinging, Surrey. He had to keep track of the last Potter spawn, after all. Taking a sip of his bourbon-laced tea, he opens the newspaper and spits his drink all over the paper. "Local businessman brutally murdered in London carpark, leaving wife and child." He read to himself.

"FUCK!" the old man swore. "Only one child was mentioned," he thought. "FUCK!" he moaned, "this means I gotta take Figgie on a date to see if she has more information on the brat!" The old man proceeded to bang his head on his desk, the portraits in his office whispering to each other.

~LGCHB~

"My Lady." Nemesis came out of Remus's room, where she had been watching the Wild Hunt. "This mortal wants revenge on her husband. Revenge for bringing strife into their home. Revenger for attacking her sister's son. But mostly revenge for cheating with his secretary."

"Humm…" Hera said, tapping her pointer finger on her lips, "Nemesis, as Goddess of Revenge, I think you should help this mortal."

"However, that would leave me with two shieldmaidens and you only with one." Frigga joined in, "Sandraudiga, you will go with Nemesis and Petunia."

"Excellent choice; now we have equal numbers again," Hera said, clapping her hands.

"My Lady? May Apollo and I see the baby now that he is sleeping? We want to run some diagnostics on him," Eir asked as she and Apollo entered the room from where they had been consulting in Harry's bedroom.

"Oh, yes, you may," Frigga responded, handing Harry to Eir. "Sandra…" Frigga crooked her finger at the shieldmaiden and whispered to her. (Terrahsims, (2020). The Littlest Asgardian, Archive of Our Own. Updated Terrahsims, (2022). The Littlest Asgardian, )

"I need you to stay on Midgard and be Harald's bodyguard while he grows up. Odin will remove all our memories of the baby in a bid to hide him from us. Please teach him our language, culture, fighting style, everything a Prince of Asgard needs to know. He won't be alone forever. I have seen our reunion in the future. Go with Nemesis, so you are out of Odin's eye when he comes." Frigga whispered her instructions to Sandraudiga.

So, at this moment, Sandraudiga sat in a window seat in a room that the Greek Goddess Hera had set up to mimic baby Harald's suite of rooms on Midgard, which mimicked Prince Loki's suites on Asgard. The only difference was that instead of one suite on the left for baby Harald and one on the right for Remus, there were now two suites on the right: one for Remus and her. Sandraudiga hated it. Yes, her rooms here on Olympus were more beautiful than her small apartment in Asgard. Still, she hated her job, being a bodyguard to a toddler, 'yugh!' she thought, 'nothing worse than a toddler, noisy, smelly, little animals; always underfoot and never listens.' At that moment, the toddler she was thinking about letting out an ear-piercing scream of delight as he was playing with the kitten that Frigga had gifted Harry with the tear of mourning that fell right before Odin attacked the royal family.

Harald wanted to know what the name of the cat was in Asgardian; instead of naming the cat a name…he called the cat, cat, or rather, Skogkatt. She couldn't believe that the baby could pronounce the word in Asgardian as well as he could, mainly when Remus spoke only Midgardian English to him; it just went to show how often the Queen defied her husband to visit the "Little Monster."

Sandra closed her eyes and took a deep breath; they had been in Olympus for a little more than two weeks doing nothing. She might as well hunt down the "Little Monster" and start his instruction in the Asgardian language.

~LGCHB~

At that moment, Remus was trying to hunt down the Queen of Olympus. He wanted to discuss Harry with her. They had been here for two weeks, and as it was summer holiday, Remus had spent the entire two weeks with Harry, but the next full moon would be in two weeks. As a werewolf, Remus refused to infect anyone. He didn't know what would happen if he turned while in Olympus. He assumed that Sandra would look after Harry during the full moon, but Sandra refused! "I am his bodyguard! I can't be watching for danger if I'm busy wiping his ass or busy giving him a bath."

Remus couldn't understand why she couldn't do both, but he wasn't a trained bodyguard, so what did he know? He was training to be a history teacher and school counselor. He liked both but didn't know which one to choose. Surprisingly, it was Petunia who mentioned that he should train for both "more job opportunities," she said.

"Well, she wasn't wrong," Remus thought. Entering the throne room, he stopped on the edge of the room and looked around. Zeus was hosting some sort of…trial…hearing…Remus wasn't sure what was going on. It looked like two Gods arguing over... "was that a goat?" Remus thought.

"Enough!" Zeus roared. "It's a goat, for Me's sake." Remus couldn't help it and snorted. Zeus looked over at him, "even the mortal son of Fenrir agrees with me!" Zeus looked at both men long and hard. "If you can't agree with who owns the damn goat, then neither of you get to own it. Guards take the goat to the kitchen; it will become MY dinner tonight. Begone!" Zeus ordered the two men.

"Son of Fenrir, what grievance do you have for me today?" Zeus asked, then took a drink of wine.

"Grievance? None, My Lord." Remus responded.

"Wonderful!" Zeus cried out happily, "Curia Deus is closed for this week, everyone begone! Son of Fenrir, why did you come?" Remus made his way closer to the throne as the Gods of Olympus, who apparently had a grievance for Zeus to settle, left grumbling as they didn't get to be heard that day.

"My Latin is mainly used for spell work, but Curia Deus…Court of God?" Remus asked.

"God's Court," Zeus corrected, "similar to the medieval Baron's Court, where the serfs could make complaints, settle arguments, make payments to their liege lord."

"How come you don't follow a more…Uhm…modern court system? I mean, we based our modern system on ancient Greece and Rome." Remus asked, embarrassed he might have offended the Greek God.

"HAHAHAHA!" Zeus laughed out, "There is nothing to be embarrassed about," Zeus said, noticing Remus's hesitation and pink cheeks. "I use this system because I have such a small population, like Asgard, there are only around 1,000-2,000 Olympians. I also am an absolute ruler who is prone to changing his mind. Like the goat, sometimes I give the rule of Solomon, which is what one of those men was hoping for. A free half-goat, I had a headache today, so he lost out, and I got a free goat dinner. I will probably invite the real owner and his family to dinner tonight and will compensate him for his goat I essentially stole."

"Would you like a headache draught?" Remus asked as he started to rummage in the messenger bag he always carried.

"Headache draught?" Zeus question… "APOLLO!" Zeus yelled out for the God of Healing, amongst other things.

Apollo stepped out of a portal, "yes, My Lord?"

"Have you ever tried a headache draught?" Zeus asked, waving his hand towards Remus. Remus handed the draught to Apollo, who opened the draught, sniffing, then putting a finger over the hole; he tipped it over, then tasted the small amount on his finger.

"I don't see anything wrong with it. Would you like me to take it to see if it poisons me?" Apollo asked, and Remus just gasped at him in disbelief.

"If you have a headache, I can always go find a torpedo," Apollo said as he assessed Zeus.

"No, no, I would like to try the headache draught; it was offered in concern and good faith," Zeus stated, and Apollo handed him the draught.

"Torpedo?" Remus asked Apollo.

"A type of electric ray," Apollo replied.

"Huh…" Remus said as he just blinked in shock at the ancient form of healing the Olympians used. "I would have thought they would be ahead of us in healing.' Remus thought.

"ME!" Zeus cried out in excitement, "It works!"

"Me?" Remus questioned; the more he got to know the different gods, the more confused he got.

"I've heard you exclaim, Merlin…others say, My God." Zeus started, "well, I am the King of the Gods, so I said ME!" Zeus laughed at Remus, blinking his eyes and putting his head in his hand while shaking it.

"You would probably get along with James and Sirius swimmingly." Remus laughed.

"James? Sirius?" Zeus questioned.

"James is the name Loki was going by when he was born to Charlus and Dorea Potter." Remus explained before sighing, "Sirius is our best friend; he was thrown in Azkaban for betraying James and Lily, even though he is innocent."

"Son of Fenrir, do you have more draughts? Do they cure other things?" Apollo asked as he was still investigating the headache draught.

"Oh yes, we…I mean, the British Wizarding society, we have many potions that cure many ailments." Remus said, quite proud of his Wizarding heritage. "Oh, and please, both of you call me Remus."

"So, Remus…" Zeus said, slowly getting used to the forename. "Why did you come seeking me out if you did not have a grievance?"

"I was actually looking for your Queen," Remus said

"Why?" Zeus asked suspiciously, and Apollo hid a laugh with a cough. Remus just blinked, confused at the suspicion.

"In two weeks is another full moon; I need to find someone to watch Harry. I asked Sandra, but she insisted she is a bodyguard, not a babysitter."

"Sandra?" Apollo asked.

"Sandraudiga, the Valkyrie," Remus responded.

"And she is quite correct!" Zeus declared. "She needs to concentrate 100% on her surroundings, not have it split by caring for a child," Zeus said, and Apollo nodded in agreement.

"Hera and I will watch the little one while you romp as a wolf," Zeus declared to everyone's surprise.

"You will?" Remus asked.

"Of course, we will," Hera said as she entered the room, holding Harry and followed by Sandra.

"Harry, you are supposed to be napping," Remus moaned.

"We will also watch baby Harald when you are in school," Hera said as she sat down next to Zeus on her throne with Harry on her lap.

"As soon as you left, he crawled out of bed and began playing with his cat." Sandra tattled to Remus, giving him a look.

"What school?" Zeus questions, "you are still young enough to be in school?"

"Yes, Remus is going to University to learn to be a teacher," Hera said to her husband.

"How old are you, Son of Fenrir…I mean, Remus?" Zeus asked.

"Remus just turned 24 in the month of Mars," Fenrir said as he stepped out of Hel's portal.

"And he is Grandson of Fenrir and mortal, so at age 24, he is an adult," Hel replied as she held her hands out for a squirming Harry. Upon seeing his big brother and sister, he started to squeal in happiness, causing several adults to flinch because of the pitch.

"Oi! Why did you run to Hel first, little man?" Fenrir pouted as Hel snuggled Harry, moving away from Fenrir each time he started to get close to take Harry away from Hel.

"Miss Hel," Harry said as he snuggled his sister. "Okay, see Fen now," Harry said, motioning to go to Fenrir.

"Ha!" Fenrir said to his sister as he picked up Harry. "Did you miss me too?"

"No," Harry said, causing all the adults to start laughing and Fenrir to pout again.

"No?!" Fenrir said as he tickled Harry. "How about now? Did you miss me?"

"No," Harry said, giggling and squirming from being tickled.

"No?!" Fenrir started to toss Harry in the air, then caught him, causing Harry to squeal again. "How about now? Did you miss me?"

Harry promptly threw up in Fenrir's face causing all the adults to laugh and Remus to whip his wand out and catch Harry as Fenrir was busy throwing up himself. Harry was gently lowered to the floor and ran to hide behind Remus's leg. Remus using his wand, cleaned the sick up and removed the smell, making it smell like lemons. Fenrir bends down, "Harald…Harry? Little man, I'm not mad; come here and see."

Harry peeked out from behind Remus's leg, "Sorry, Fen." Harry whispered, "I missed you too."

"Can I have a hug?" Fenrir asked, and Harry slowly came out and walked to Fenrir, who gave the baby a hug and then picked him up. "I'm sorry I made you throw up."

"Do again?" Harry asked mischief.

"No," Fenrir said incredulous, not wanting to be thrown up on-again while all the adults laughed.

~LGCHB~

~ Thursday, September 1, 1983 ~

"Come on, Harry, it's time to wake up," Remus said as he sat on Harry's little bed, gently stroking Harry's hair. "Come on, little man, it's the first day of school for both you and me." Harry buried his head deeper into his pillow and blankets.

"Skogkatt, come help me wake Harry up," Remus said to the cat sleeping at the bottom of the bed.

Skogkatt came up to Harry and started to lick the little boy's hair, grooming it. The kitten, who was now as big as the little three-year-old boy, would send up a large "MEOW" after every few licks.

Remus laughed; he couldn't believe the cat had actually listened to him, "come on, Harry, wakey, wakey."

"Don't wanna," Harry mumbled.

"Come on, little man," Remus said as he bent down and kissed Harry's forehead, "today is the first day of school."

"School?" Harry said, interested in the word-school waking up slowly.

"Yes, remember you and I both have school today," Remus said, pulling the covers off a sleepy Harry and helping him to sit up.

Harry yawned big, "okay."

"Let's get you into the bath, so Queen Hera doesn't have a stinky Harry at the breakfast table."

"Not stinky, you stinky," Harry said, yawning.

"You are totally stinky," Remus teased, tickling Harry a little.

"No, you stinky McStink face," Harry said.

"Fenrir teach you that?" Remus asked, laughing.

"No, Uncle Ares," Harry said as Remus carried him to the bathroom.

"Wonderful, you're hanging out with the God of War when I'm not around," Remus deadpanned to himself, and Harry giggled.

~LGCHB~

"Ah, Remus, come in. I have saved a spot for Harald and yourself next to me," Hera said as she sat to the left of Zeus, who was at the head of the table. Across from her on Zeus's right was Ares. Next to Ares was Heracles. Next to where Remus would be sitting, Athena sat, and Poseidon sat at the other table head.

Remus helped Harry into the booster seat beside Hera and sat himself down. Sandra slipped into the room and stood at attention against the wall behind Harry. "Busy breakfast table today," Remus said as he sat down and filled Harry's plate with fruit, eggs, and toast.

"Yes, I know you have met many of the Greek Gods, but not all. At the table are all the Gods I have asked to help me teach Harald in the first couple of years. Others will join as he gets older."

"Yes, today, Harry told me that Uncle Ares taught him to call people stinky McStink face," Remus said as he took a sip of his tea. Hera's eyes flashed dangerously as she looked at her son Ares as he and Heracles were laughing at the table. Zeus and Poseidon were holding their lips pressed tightly, trying not to join the younger gods in laughing. Athena was like Remus, hiding a smile behind a teacup. Behind Harry, Sandra snorted. Harry giggled at the adults acting silly while munching on a piece of fruit.

"So…" Hera said harshly before softening her voice as Harry jumped and looked at her questioningly, "Monday, Δευτέρα through Friday, Παρασκευή, Athena will teach Harald his letters in the English Alphabet, the Ancient Greek, and Modern Greek Alphabet. Sandraudiga, this would be a good time to teach Harry Asgardian language simultaneously; over time, this will move from letters to grammar to reading and writing."

"Yes, Ma'am," Sandraudiga replied.

"After that, Harald will have lunch and a nap. Then on Monday, Wednesday, and Friday—Δευτέρα, Τετάρτη και Παρασκευή—after nap time, Harald will have physical education with Heracles. Then, on Tuesday and Thursday—Τρίτη και Πέμπτη—Harald will have sword and weapon training with Ares."

"Isn't Harry too young for weapons training," Remus asked nervously.

"If he was a mortal or even a demi-god, yes, but Harald is a God. So this is the perfect time to start teaching him," Ares responded, "don't worry, I will start out with wooden swords and poles before moving on to metal weapons."

"I'm not worried," Remus squeaked nervously, and all the Gods laughed.

"After physical education and weapons training, Harald will have another snack time and maybe a nap, but definitely a quiet time. He will then go with Athena to learn his numbers in English, Ancient Greek, Modern Greek, and Asgardian," Hera said before turning around to look at Sandraudiga, who nodded her acquiescence to teaching numbers too.

"On Saturday, Σάββατο, afternoon, I will take Harald and teach him how to swim," Poseidon said, cutting in excitingly, "and on Sunday, Κυριακή, I will teach him how to care for horses and how to ride a horse."

"Well, that all sounds wonderful and exciting. Hopefully, by the time Harry turns five, I will have graduated. I'm hoping to get a job teaching in Athens and can enroll Harry in a school there, so he is around children his own age." Remus stated as he finished up his breakfast. Checking his watch, he turns to Harry, "Hey little man, it's time for me to leave for school; you have a good day. Come here and give me a hug."

"Okay, Mumy," Harry cheekily replied.

"Mumy? You mean Moony." Remus said, confused, being careful to pronounce Moony for three-year-old Harry.

"Nope." Mumy." Harry giggled, and Remus looked at him in confusion.

"Well, you to act as his parental figure," Hera said, fighting the giggles herself.

"Well, yes, but I thought if he was going to call me anything, it would be Daddy, not Mumy," Remus replied as he picked Harry up and raspberries his cheek before giving him a hug goodbye.

"No, Dadfoot, Mumy!" Harry replied as he sat back down and slurped some eggs off his plate by putting his mouth on the plate.

"Manners, Harry James Potter!" Remus scolded as he picked up his book bag, missing Harry mentioning Padfoot. Instead, Harry just pointed to Ares, who was laughing so hard he fell out of his chair. Hera stood up and peered over the edge of the table at her son, rolling on the floor laughing.

Hera shoots Zeus a dirty look, "he is so your son!" she snarls, "Ares, Son of Zeus, get off the floor and stop teaching Harald bad manners!"