18When I first envisioned my life as a SuperHero, I wasn't entirely certain of what I expected to happen. I figured my life would improve, and that I would do more than just exist. That my life would have meaning, and purpose, and that there would be people around who wanted me to keep on living.
It turned out though, that the person who most wanted me to keep on living was me. Some might think that the giant, fire breathing super villain that was turning into a dragon behind me was the reason that I had discovered that I wanted to keep on living. But frankly, Lung could go ahead and kill me right after I finished some pressing personal business.
Namely, murdering this damn perverted shut in who had just stolen my panties in the middle of a cape fight!
"I AM GOING TO KILL YOU!" I shrieked, and redirected as many of the biting and stinging insects that had been going after Lung to attack my prey, who was leaping across the rooftops ahead of me.
"BITCH THAT'S MY LINE!" Lung roared behind me, flames lashing out and barely missing me as he reached the rooftop.
OK, maybe I did have two reasons to live. One was killing my supposed ally, the other was the monstrous leader of the Ainz Bad Boys who was hell bent on murdering me for no good reason. Well, aside from the fact that I'd sent a few hundred insects to sting him a minute ago, but this was a gross overreaction on his part. I sent a few nasty spiders and some yellow jackets after Lung, but they burned to a crisp before they could do their work.
Oh no! It appears you're experiencing difficulties with a FIRE BASED opponent. Would you like to learn more about Elemental Resistances and Reactions?
"NOT RIGHT NOW!" I shouted at the stupid little pop up menu that appeared in the corner of my eye. Initially, I had thought it was charming and even sort of liked Charlotte. Right now though she was pissing me off.
"Look, I'm sorry, I'll give them back!" the figure ahead of me said, holding up my knickers as he continued to flee.
"YOU'RE DAMN RIGHT YOU WILL! NOW SLOW DOWN SO I CAN FEED YOU TO THE MONSTER!" I screamed. I probably should have been terrified. I probably should have been coming up with a way to stop Lung and the rest of the ABB from killing me for attacking them.
Instead I just wanted to strangle the only person who up until thirty seven seconds ago I had considered my only friend. And then put my undergarments back on. So help me, if I was going to get eaten by a dragon, I was not going to do so commando.
My quarry slapped at himself as my minions found their marks. "Ow-ow-ow-ow! Taylor, stop, please! I promise I won't-"
"WE'RE ON A MISSION, YOU JERK! USE MY CAPE NAME, SCUMZUMA!"
"Oh back off! If you're not going to call me by my cape name, why should I call you Skitter?!"
I refused to dignify that with a response. Mainly because a couple of months of light cardio and some sit ups had not prepared me for a life or death chase across the rooftops. Thankfully, Kazutrash was in even worse shape than I was, and was still rather tubby. I caught up to him and snatched back my panties, but the effort caused both of us to trip. We tumbled ass over teakettle, right up to the edge of the roof, only barely skidding to a stop before we took a four story dive.
"Whew, that was close," Kazuma sighed.
Then the roof bucked and shuddered as a giant metal fire breathing dragon lept atop it, bellowed in rage and anger, and loomed over the both of us. Both Kazuma and I screamed, clutching at one another in panic.
I was going to die, but at least Kazuma was too.
My life flashed before my eyes. Well, not my whole life. Just the past three months.
It all started when I got trapped in a locker by Sophia, Emma, and Madison. I'm not going to go over the gory details, but I was at a pretty low point in my life. Once I got over the initial shock, I screamed for help.
And to my shock, someone answered.
"So. First time?"
I paused, blinking back tears, and trying not to think about the filth that surrounded me. "Kazuma? Kauzma?!"
"Yes, that's my name," a weary voice said, right by my ear.
"I thought you dropped out! Please, you have to get me out! Help me, I can't-"
"-can't get out of the locker? Yeah, me neither. I just got the gag off. Those assholes even ripped up my Hatsune Miko poster."
I paused, and tried to breathe through my mouth. "Your…your what?"
"She's a vocaloid, from Earth Aleph. I wanted a body pillow, but I could only afford a poster."
I snorted. Then I started to laugh. I couldn't help myself.
"What?! You think them ripping up my poster is funny, Taylor?! What if I ripped up your notebook?! You still doodle in it I bet! How'd you feel about that?!" Kazuma demanded.
I hiccuped, and forced myself back under control. "Kazuma, I'm trapped in a locker with my own puke and what appear to be used tampons. The girl I had thought was my best friend betrayed me, and somehow, you are still the most disgusting thing near me."
"Yeah, well, screw you too, four eyes," Kazuma muttered. "I should have stayed home and just gotten on PHO."
"Thanks for not staying home," I whispered, leaning up against the metal and trying not to think about what was touching me. "I…it's nice to know I'm not the only one in here."
"Yeah. You too, I guess. Sorry about Emma. She's a bitch."
I sniffed, and I wrinkled my nose. "Kazuma…what did they put in your locker?"
"It was Devin and Miles. There's diapers in here. Used."
"Lovely."
"Yeah, reminds me why I stayed in school. I already threw up on myself."
Minutes passed, and I tried to keep my mind off things by talking to Kazuma, but I couldn't. I started to hyperventilate and cry, unable to stand the smell any longer. Things started to crawl all over my sink, and I screamed in horror to think of the cockroaches, ants, and God only knew what else. Kazuma had apparently passed out because he wasn't responding anymore, and I just couldn't take it.
"I WANT OUT!" I shouted. "I WANT OUT! I'LL DO ANYTHING, PLEASE JUST LET ME-"
And then, the locker was gone. I found myself in the midst of a field of stars, sitting in a glowing white chair atop a dark pool of water. Across from me was another, empty chair, and I blinked, stunned. What had happened to me?
"Taylor Herbert. Life has been painfully unfair to you. You have been beaten, battered, and bruised. But all is not lost."
From behind me, a beautiful woman in dark robes with a silver feathered mantle appeared, walking around my chair. She had on a headdress, but silver hair framed her face, and her eyes were a deep violet. I sucked in a breath, shocked.
"Are…are you a cape?" I gasped.
The woman smiled at me, touching my shoulder gently. "Some might call me that. But as you see me now…I am Eris."
"You're…the Goddess of Discord?" I asked, feeling a shiver down my spine. My mom had told me all the ancient Greek myths, and I knew the one about the Golden Apple all too well. But…she didn't seem like a wicked and capricious deity…
Eris giggled, then went to sit across from me. She pulled her chair a big closer, and gave me a tender smile. "I do like to cause a little chaos sometimes, but I like to think of myself as the Lady of Fortune. Perhaps some would call me a goddess, and I do have great powers. Indeed, that is one reason I have brought you here."
"Well, I don't really care how you did it, I'm just glad to be out of the locker," I sighed. Something tickled the back of my mind, and then I gasped. "Wait! What about Kazuma? Kazuma Sato, we've been in school together since like the First Grade! He's kind of a loser nerd, but I'm a loser nerd too! We're sort of friends, and I'd feel really bad if he was just left there…"
"Your kind heart does you credit, Taylor. But do not fear. My counterpart is speaking with him even now. Both of us seek heroes: Heroes who will stand against injustice, and work to save the world," Eris told me.
I blinked at her. "Um, no offense, but there are heroes. Even in Brockton Bay. Why don't you call, I don't know, Armsmaster, or I don't know, Glory Girl. Why would you talk to a friendless depressed teenager?"
"Well, as a wise Earthling once said: if you wish to save the world, recruit teenagers with attitude!" Eris laughed. Then she sobered slightly. "You may find that things are not always as they appear…I cannot meddle too much, or, well…even for a Goddess of Fortune, it's hard to tell the future sometimes. But I want humanity to save itself. Well, with a bit of help. So, Taylor Hebert. Will you become a hero? Will you save the world?"
"I…yes! I've always wanted to be a cape!" I could feel tears filling my eyes. Not tears of pain, frustration, or fear, but of hope and happiness this time. Was this what all capes went though when they got their powers? I'd read about Trigger Events a little, but I'd never heard of anything like this…
"Great! Well, this is our little secret, OK? Don't tell anyone about meeting me. Well, except for Kazuma, I suppose. You two would make cute partners," Eris said, winking at me.
I tried not to show just how disgusting I found that idea. Me, dating Scumzuma? Even before he'd gotten beaten up in middle school and had hidden at home after he'd been caught peeping on the girl's lockers, he'd been even more of a loser and a loner than I was. He'd tried to hang out with me and Emma before, and I'd had to invite him to my birthday parties as a kid a few times because my parents made me, but…partner? Like, dating partners? Hell no.
"Now, as to your gifts…hmmm. Well, that's interesting! It seems you were fated to get powers today regardless! But, I got to you first! Well then, that makes things easy. How do you feel about bugs, Taylor?" Eris asked.
I blinked at her. "Um, you mean like, Arthropods? Fine, I guess. I had an ant farm as a kid, and Charlotte's Web was one of my favorite books…"
"Perfect! Hmm, that is an interesting power set. Well, I'll just tweak a few things and…there you go!"
Eris held out her hands to me, and a huge white spider appeared in her palms. It was as big as a bird eating spider, but with slightly stubbier legs, and a smooth carapace, which had purple and black markings.
"Hi, I'm your new powers, Taylor!" the spider chirruped, making me jerk back in my seat. The arachnid waved a forelimb at me cheerily, and winked one of its eyes.
It was really a very odd kind of spider, with a set of large, almost human eyes. But…it didn't look quite real. It was sort of…cartoony? That's the best way I can describe it. I held out my hands towards Eris, and the spider hopped onto my palms. It was pretty heavy, and it certainly felt real enough.
"Are…are you going to bite me, or something?" I asked. I vaguely remembered a comic book from before Scion's arrival had that plot.
"Only if you're into that sort of stuff," the spider said, and winked at me.
"Er, no, not really…" I said, wincing slightly.
"That's OK! I'll just live in your head. I'm really just a Shard from Eris, but I'll be hitchhiking with you! Open communication is a part of any healthy relationship, so we'll talk a bunch! For starters you'll just have basic insect control, but as you level me up, I'm sure I'll grow into a great Shard with some super cool powers!" the spider said happily.
I nodded slowly. "Um, do you have a name?"
The spider blinked, the turned around to look at Eris, who was smiling at us in a rather mischievous fashion. The apparent goddess schooled her expression to a more serene and formal one when she saw us looking at her. "Hey, boss, do I have a name?"
"No, not really. I think you should ask Taylor for one," Eris said, and gave me a wink.
The spider turned back around, legs dancing over my fingers. They tickled a bit, and I giggled myself. This was both very cool and very surreal. "I'll name you Charlotte. I always like that book."
"You got it, Mistress! I'm your friendly neighborhood Spider-Shard, Charlotte!"
And then Charlotte jumped right at my face. I blinked, but when I opened my eyes, she was gone.
Wow, a lot of room in here! Don't worry, I won't hurt anything! I'm more metaphysical than physical, you know. For now, I'll just run the basic tutorial as I get used to things.
"Um, thanks?" I managed, feeling a bit confused.
"Well then, Taylor. Your adventure is about to begin!" Eris said, standing up and raising her hands. "Your world, and indeed, the many worlds of Earth, face great peril! Work to defeat the Warrior, stop the Cycle, and save your world! I, and humanity, are counting on you!"
"I will!" I promised, as silver light made a halo about me, and I was lifted into the air by rushing winds. "I'll be a great hero!"
"I know you will! Now, let your story begin!" Eris said, and the silver light enveloped me.
When I came to, I blinked in darkness, and looked around. Then I made the mistake of breathing through my nose.
"I'm still in the locker?!" I shrieked. "Charlotte, Charlotte get me out of here!"
Sorry, Charlotte isn't available right now. She's busy setting up your systems! Please check back soon!
A little purple and blue box popped up in the corner of my vision, and a tiny distorted cutesy version of Charlotte appeared alongside the text. She had a broom, dustpan, mop, spray, and other cleaning equipment in her legs, and of all things, a pink bandana tied around her head as the image wiggled back and forth and little dust clouds appeared.
"Um…access powers?" I guessed.
Another popup over the first one sprang up.
Congratulations! You are now Level [1]! You have [1] Unspent Talent Point(s). You have [Six] Unspent Attribute Point(s)! To spend your points, take a Long Rest.
"But I need to get out of here NOW!" I screamed, pressing my hands to the side of the locker and shaking as hard as I could, heedless of what that did to the filth about me.
I did that for about a minute before my lungs gave out, and I sagged in the locker, exhausted, confused, and very angry. Had that just been some sort of fever dream brought on by trauma?
Then, Kazuma began to laugh next to me.
"Screw you, losers! I'm a cape now! Once I get out of here, the Revenge of Kazuma Sato begins, followed by my popular phase!"
"Kazuma? Did…did you see Eris too?" I asked.
"What? No. But I totally snookered that blue haired bimbo! Heh-heh-heh. Everyone knows that a weak class that can unlock any ability can totally become the most broken!" Kazuma ranted. "Now, I just have to- wait. Long rest? LONG REST?! THIS IS BULLSHIT!"
I sighed. "Kazuma…we should probably keep this a secret…"
"No shit! I don't want anyone to find out I was stuck in a locker with a bunch of poopy diapers!"
"That's not what I meant…"
"Oh, I won't tell anyone you were trapped with a bunch of tampons. But, Taylor, as my oldest friend, you have my permission to be my Adoring Childhood friend. I'm not sure if I'll go down your route yet, but we'll see. Tell me, do you see yourself as more of a tsundere, or a dandere?"
"Kazuma, what I'm talking about is if you saw…a…lady…in that place…I think we just Triggered!" I hissed.
"Oh. Well, I mean, what's the point of being a cape if you don't tell everyone and brag on PHO?" Kazuma demanded.
"Look, I've see what happens to New Wave, I don't want that! I just…I don't want my dad to be worried, you know? I want to keep it private…"
"Ah, so you want to be a supervillain. Understandable. I think that's a good choice, honestly. You can get rich quicker that way," Kazuma mused.
"No, you idiot! I'm not going to be a villain! I just…the PTR is kinda scary, you know? And…and I'm not ready, yet. We should train."
"This is starting to sound suspiciously like work," Kazuma said, sounding rather suspicious even as his voice echoed tinily.
"Look, just…we have to get out of here first, and then…oh god. I…I'm still in my own vomit! THIS SHOULDN'T BE HAPPENING TO ME!" I screamed.
"USELESS LYING GODDESS!" Kazuma screamed.
And, well, that's how we Triggered. I guess. Anyway, my flashback appeared to be over, and I looked up in horror as the now eight foot tall Lung raised a clawed hand to strike us down. I squeezed my eyes shut.
Then they snapped open when I realized Kazuma was squeezing something else. If I hadn't been about to die, I would have murdered him.
But before death could descend and Kazuma escape retribution, something smashed into the roof. Lung bellowed, and the section he was standing on gave way and he tumbled down through the new hole. I screamed and flailed, but Kazuma and I both ended up crashing down to the floor below us as well.
Thankfully, I landed on Kazuma, who groaned and whimpered. Serves him right for trying to harass me while we were dying. I rolled off him and got shakily to my feet. Lung was already rising out of the rubble, shaking his head and roaring in rage, flames licking out from his metal maw.
"Stop right there, villain!" a voice cried, and a new figure in gold and white armor staggered out from where she had fallen.
"Glory Girl?" I gasped. My eyes were watering, and my goggles were fogging up, but the blonde hair, gold and white armor, and her being an apparent flying brick told me who she was.
"New Wave bitch," Lung spat, and unfurled massive wings. "I'll crush your pretty little blond head! Just like I did with your parents!"
"I shall defend these poor innocents from you, monster!" our savior declared, and flung her arms wide as Lung roared and charged.
He crashed into her, but despite overtopping his opponent by several feet, he rebounded off her like he'd hit a brick wall. Or, well, something more durable, as I'm pretty sure Lung could break through a mere brick wall.
His opponent gasped, then stepped forward, taking a massive swing at Lung. He was staggered, and it should have been easy.
Instead, her blow missed by several inches, and with all the force behind it, she went flying, smacking her head into a wall, where it got stuck.
"First you, then the pests," Lung hissed. "I'm going to enjoy this."
He reached out a clawed hand and yanked the other cape free. She groaned, blond hair in a halo about her head.
"Taylor, we've got to stop him," Kazuma said grimly.
I turned to him, shocked. "What? But, how?!"
"I only have my two abilities, but if I can get close…I can use Drain Touch," Kazuma explained quietly. "Then, your bugs can get him."
"Just so long as you don't use that OTHER ability, you jerk," I growled. I watched as Lung slammed his victim into the ground, and she moaned. Wait…that wasn't Glory Girl. She was similar, but the outfit wasn't quite right…
Lung held up the girl and opened his mouth, flames shooting out and enveloping her.
"Oh, you brute, you monster! To savage a young girl so, bashing her and lighting her on fire!" the cape cried, even though she was clearly on fire. "Truly, you are the monster of Brockton Bay!"
"Wait, you're not that New Wave bitch," Lung growled. He really did need to expand his vocabulary. There were so many curses in English aside from bitch. It just showed a lack of imagination on his part.
"I-I am D-Darkness, protector of the innocent!" the girl gasped. The fire died down, and though her suit was a bit scorched, she didn't appear to have been burned in the slightest.
"Now, Taylor!" Kazuma hissed.
I sighed and reached out, pulling in the bugs that had survived so far. I had only a few venomous ones left, so I saved those for later. Instead, cockroaches, beetles, flies, and some smaller spiders swarmed Lung's feet. He shouted and stomped, squashing many, and then used the girl in his hands like a rolled up newspaper to swat at them.
She shrieked in…that sounded a lot more like a "this roller coaster is fun" than "oh god I'm about to die." Er, anyway…
Kazuma ran up, jumping on Lung's back and shouting, "DRAIN TOUCH!"
"Get off of me!" Lung roared, and spun about, trying to dislodge Kazuma and breathing fire everywhere. I only barely managed to dodge it, hiding behind a mostly destroyed concrete wall. In his anger, he dropped Darkness, who popped up and immediately tackled his legs. She didn't manage to knock the big cape over, but she did tangle herself in his legs. Lung swore and kicked at her viciously, but she hung gamely on, panting and crying out about…
Er, I'm going to pretend I didn't hear what she said…
I peeked over my barrier and watched, and sure enough, after only a few seconds, Lung seemed to tire out. The metal plates on his body shrank slightly, showing gaps. That was my cue! I called out to the remaining insects, and they zoomed in. Some died in the flickering flames, others were crushed, but a number of hornets and a nasty brown recluse that I didn't even think was native here. They all bit and stung, and Lung's efforts flagged.
Soon, Lung gasped, groaned, and then sank to his knees. "I…fought…an End…bringer…you…kids…can't…"
"Ha!" Kazuma cried, jumping off Lung's back and dancing around to face him directly. "Suck it, loser! This is me and Skitter's first fight, and we totally clowned on-"
Apparently, Lung wasn't as defeated as he was acting, because he opened his mouth and out shot even more flames. Kazuma screamed, but Darkness was somehow there, shielding him with her body as she wrapped Kazuma in a bear hug.
"You…bitch…" Lung fell over, and passed out. Kazuma's ability and my insects finally doing him in. But, even in defeat, he displayed his creative sterility.
A new popup. Ah, Charlotte. Reliably helpful after help was needed.
Congratulations! You've just defeated your first [Boss]. You've earned 10,000 bonus XP! You've advanced [3] Levels, and are now Level [4]. You have [3] Unspent talent point(s)! You have [18] unspent Attribute Point(s). You earned a Title!
I dismissed it. Wouldn't do me any good until I took a six hour nap anyway.
"Hey, thanks!" I said, standing and hurrying over to Darkness. She was flushed and panting, her armor blackened and torn from her body. "You saved us."
"You…you're welcome," she gasped. She blushed, slowly releasing Kazuma and stepping away. "I-I'm sorry! I, um, I shouldn't have hugged you, like that, b-but I was just trying to save you…"
"I'm in heaven," Kazuma said, somewhat dazed. "I have touched paradise. So soft. So…squishy. So wonderful…"
I snarled and smacked Kazuma upside the back of his head. Darkness blinked, then seemed to realize what the pervert was talking about, and hugged herself.
"What a crude boy! To mock my body, even as I save him! This is wicked of you! How can you call yourself a hero!"
"Will you stop being a creep for ONE MINUTE?!" I hissed in Kazuma's ear.
He smirked at me. "You're just jealous. Don't worry, Taylor. Tsundere childhood friends are the best, and everyone knows First Girl Wins."
I decided that most people would believe it if Kazuma died in the fight with Lung, and prepared every insect I had left to fly down his throat.
Before I could though, a glowing light blinded me, and the most wonderful, beautiful person in the world slammed down into the floor by Darkness.
"Lalatina! I lost you! Dammit, don't go running off, this is ABB turf, and Lung is- woah! Oh shit, is that him!? Did you run off and beat LUNG!? Dammit, I'm so jealous! Oh man, mom and dad are-"
The real Glory Girl squealed and jumped at Darkness, hugging her tightly. I was straight, but damn, she was so beautiful, and wonderful. She was the sort of person I could trust, and I would definitely call her senpai and-
Wait. What was going on with me?! I slapped myself in the cheek, then Kazuma for good measure. He'd been drooling. Of course.
"V-Vicky! W-we're not alone!" Darkness, apparently real name Lalatina, gasped, and pointed to us.
Glory Girl turned around, seeing us for the first time, and her eyebrows shot up. "Woah, more new capes? Hey, don't go thinking of stealing my sister's thunder here! It's Darkness who gets the credit for taking down Lung, not you two losers!"
Now that Glory Girl and Darkness were standing next to one another, I realized that they were obviously sisters. If I remembered right, they were fraternal twins. Weird, I didn't remember the younger twin having any powers.
"Hey, your sister tried to steal our kill!" Kazuma protested, apparently shaking off whatever had been affecting him. I like to think my slap helped. "We're the ones who took down Lung! She was just our meat shield!"
He stalked over and tried to loom over Glory Girl. This didn't work for a few reasons. One, Kazuma is asian and short, and Glory Girl is a blonde goddess with legs for days. And two, she can fly, and Kazuma can't.
Something was definitely affecting me, but I was so giddy from being alive I didn't even really care. "It was a team effort. Darkness saved our lives, and bought us time to come up with a plan to take down Lung. Without her, we'd be dead."
I came over to stand by Kazuma, but Glory Girl hovered up into the air. "You are SO not stealing my sister's thunder! This is HER coming out event, and-"
Kazuma snerkned, and smirked at Glory Girl. Darkness blushed and looked down, fidgeting.
"What?! What's so funny, smart ass?!" Glory Girl demanded, planting her hands on her wonderful hips. She was so beautiful, how could Kazuma even think of arguing with her? I would do anything for-
OK, something was DEFINITELY affecting me. I reached out to my bugs, and somehow, that steadied me.
"You ah, might want to reconsider your words," I said carefully. "And can you tone down the, um, whatever it is you're doing?"
"A siscon. Nice. This is so going on the PHO," Kazuma said with a leer.
Glory Girl blinked, then dropped down out of the air, blushing. "OK, asshole! That is not what I meant and you know it! I mean, her coming out as a CAPE, not, you know-"
"N-not that there's anything wrong with that, but, um, I desire a strong, capable man, who can match me in strength. Not, er…a-a woman," Darkness said, still blushing.
"Wow. Will everyone get their minds out of the gutter?" I sighed. "I'm sorry, Glory Girl. You have to watch yourself with the Hikki-NEET here. I'm used to it, but it's an acquired taste."
"I am NOT the Hikki-NEET!" Kazuma ranted, whirling on me. "My name is MASAMUNE! Understand!?"
"Taken," Glory Girl said. She nodded to me. "At least one of you newbies is halfway smart. Well, thanks for helping Tina out, no one knows about this yet so-"
"Glory Girl. Explain the situation."
All four of us jumped in the air like a bunch of kids who'd been caught with their hands in the cookie jar, and spun to find an actual adult looking at us from under his raised visor, halberd in hand.
Oh boy. This was so not how I imagined my first night out as a cape going.
Especially not the chafeing.