Note: Italics is past.

BPOV

Five Years Later

"Nooooooo," my eighteen-month-old son wails as he starts to kick his feet on the changing table.

"Flynn," I bark out in frustration while trying to keep him from making an even bigger mess with his dirty shit filled diaper.

He stops to glare at me looking just like Edward.

Edward's genes were strong in both Hadley and Flynn. But when Flynn is pissed, his resemblance to Edward mocks me, and for some reason my ire is directed at Edward.

It's his fault when his son acts like a little monster because where else would he get this behavior from?

Me?

I throw my hands up.

He stops to watch me, his green eyes curious.

"Give up?" he asks me.

"Yes, I give up," I confirm.

"I poop," he tells me.

Fucking potty training is not helping.

"I can see that," I tell him.

"Cwean diapie," he says like it's an order.

I glare at him.

Normally he's a mama's boy and my favorite person in this world next to Hadley and Edward. He's cute and a cuddle bug but lately, he's gearing up for those fucking terrible twos that Edward's parenting books speak of.

I loathe those books.

I loathe parenting Instagrams and TikToks too.

People have been raising kids for centuries. Why would one person know more than anyone else?

This is a rant I have gone on since Flynn was born.

Em likes to point out I wrote a New York Times Bestseller about mothers. I like to point out I'm not telling anyone how to parent.

"Diapie," he demands.

I hear the door open and Hadley's head pops in.

At fifteen, the girl was a real heartbreaker, which annoys Edward to no end.

Gone were her glasses now replaced with contacts.

Her hair is more of a strawberry blonde now than it is copper.

She hit a growth spurt at ten and then another one a few months ago. She's as tall as Rose not to mention the assets she also inherited from her mother.

Edward just about had a coronary when she needed a bra at twelve. I told Rose to let me break that news to him.

I see Hadley is ready for school dressed in her uniform and with a braided crown of hair resting on her head. Edward switched her to a private school on Fifth Avenue when she started high school.

He says that he wanted a change for her, but I think the uniform was the selling point for him. It kept eyes off the assets.

"Dad sent me to check on you, we heard the showdown from the kitchen," she says with a sympathetic smile.

"If he was so concerned, one would think he'd come in to help me," I mumble.

"He's dressed for work," she says with a cringe.

"Well, I know he's going to be without some designer slacks and shirts after today," I tell her before turning back to Flynn.

He's watching me and stays still as I quickly clean his tush and get a new diaper on, maybe later I'll get him on the potty.

"Lee," Flynn cries, reaching out to his sister.

She takes him easily, giving him a cuddle.

He isn't her only sibling, but I like to think he's her favorite.

Kidding.

Maybe.

Emmett managed to knock Rose up with twin girls who are now three years old.

They live together in the same apartment building I shared with Em. She's closer to Hadley but still only has her on weekends.

She wants more but Edward gives her a spiel about routine since Rose loves a routine.

"Are you mad at Dad?" Had asks me.

"That's a loaded question," I respond.

"You weren't mad last night," she points out looking confused.

We spent the evening dining at the restaurant where we both moonlight as bartenders if Carlisle needs a hand. Last night we only went for dinner and Auntie Essie dined with us, which meant she helped with Flynn so I could breathe.

My anger had more to do with the conversation Edward and I had when I was trying to fuck his brains out last night.

He wanted to talk about having another baby, which killed my libido.

I'm twenty-nine and the one baby that I do have sucks the life right out of me at the moment. I do want another baby just not while I have one running around. I see how drained Em is with two three-year-olds.

Edward needs to let me get Flynn into school first then I'm open to negotiations for the plans he has for my womb.

"I'm not mad, we just aren't in agreement on something at the moment," I tell her honestly.

"You and Dad don't really disagree," she decides to point out, still looking worried.

"That is correct, but there are times we don't see eye to eye," I explain.

"Like when it comes to Mom," she says in understanding.

I sigh.

Rose and I were now friendly.

I am Edward's wife and Hadley's stepmother.

She's my best friend's baby mama.

Something had to give, and for Hadley, and now Emmett's sake, I made it work with her. She also has the same respect and consideration for me.

We co-parent better then she and Edward do so if it works that way so be it.

She's been sober for four years now, she fell off the wagon one night after Tanya of all people offered her a bump at Tavern.

She didn't hit rock bottom like before but it was two months of hiding on her part. I was on my book tour when they all figured it out and Edward was livid.

It was right before he was to leave to visit me in L.A. Esme practically forced him on a plane and watched Hadley while he was away.

Carlisle with the help of Emmett got her into the same inpatient facility.

Tanya was fired.

Edward was such a delight to have on that trip. He ranted and raved about how this was it. His trust was lost in Rosalie.

Honestly, Edward and Esme were waiting for that shoe to drop.

It led to one of the biggest arguments in our relationship.

"Edward, enough," I yell, throwing my hands up.

He stops mid-pace and his eyes widen.

"Bella, Hadley could've—"

"Yes, if Emmett hadn't grown suspicious of Rose's bathroom use, then all of you would probably still have your heads in the clouds," I say wryly.

He glares.

"You're not seeing the severity of the situation," he snaps.

"Hadley is safe with Esme and Rose is back upstate. I'm here trying to work and haven't seen you in two weeks… is this really how you want to spend our time together?" I yell while I stand from my seat on the hotel bed.

"How can you think about yourself?"

I blink.

I've been nothing but supportive of him during the last year and a half we've been together and now that I'm actually doing something for me he's going to throw that in my face?

I look at my phone seeing that I have a half hour until my reading and signing. Then my phone pings letting me know that the car is here.

I sigh.

"I need to leave," I tell him.

He makes a move to follow and I hold up my hand.

"You should stay here. I have a lot going on and for you to accuse me of only thinking of myself, I think you need to reflect on that," I say frankly.

"Bell—" he starts but I shake my head and grab my bag.

"I have a work obligation," I reiterate as I pass him.

Once I'm out the door it's like I'm moving on autopilot, I have to turn on for the event. I have to act like the support the attendees are giving for the book is the most important thing to me, but in truth, Edward's support is all that matters.

But he isn't here, he's back at the hotel brooding about a situation that has been handled.

"You okay?" Gia, my publicist asks while we're in between the reading and signing.

I shrug.

"Isn't Edward supposed to be here?" she hedges.

"He wasn't feeling well," I lie. "The time change or whatever."

She looks at me unconvinced.

The people who have come to see me are sweet and almost all of them have expressed how much they felt seen by the book; whether it's the way they are with their own children or if they have the same relationships with their mothers.

I've been asked a lot about which mother was mine in the book but I'd never disclose that.

It's all been slightly overwhelming but I've mostly just powered through these conversations.

About a half hour into my signing a book slides in front of me.

The owner doesn't say anything so when I look up I'm surprised to see Edward.

"Who do I make this out to?" I ask him dryly.

"Your asshole of a boyfriend," he says teasingly, but I can see how remorseful he appears.

I sigh.

"Did you buy this?" I ask.

He nods.

I put it off to the side.

"Hangout with Gia while I finish up?" I suggest.

"Okay," he says hesitantly.

He knows he fucked up.

I get through the rest of the line in thirty-five minutes and join Edward and Gia in the small café attached to the bookstore.

Edward hands me an iced matcha latte.

He's really buttering up now.

I eye him as I take a sip.

"I've reflected," he tells me.

"And?"

"I haven't been fair to you," he says sincerely.

I nod.

"We can touch base back at the hotel," Gia suggests while she eyes us.

"Sounds like a plan," I tell her with a smile then turn back to Edward. "So…"

"I want to apologize for the way I talked to you before you left," he says with a sigh. "I took my frustration out on you and that isn't okay."

"Who is your frustration with, Edward?" I ask since I have a hunch it isn't all directed at Rose.

"Myself," he finally admits.

"I think when Rose gets out of treatment you both could benefit from couples therapy or something," I say honestly.

"We're not a couple," he says in disgust.

"No, but you co-parent and need to work on trust and communication," I point out.

"She's an addict—"

"A recovering addict and we need to have a little more compassion. I'm not saying Hadley will be needing to have visitation with her as soon as she gets out but in a year it is possible that you will be back into your normal arrangement," I explain.

I hate that Rose puts everyone through this, but have come to terms that this is an illness that can't be cured only treated.

"I'll think about it," he mumbles.

Think about it, he did.

They only made it through two sessions until I started going to give my support during their sessions. That was the therapist's suggestion.

At that point, I was the fiancee and I think that the therapist was a little fascinated by our dynamic. That both Edward and Rose respected me enough to hear me out when I spoke in Hadley's best interest.

By the time they completed therapy, Edward and I were married in a small ceremony just outside the city. Only our closest friends and family including Rose since she was Emmett's plus one.

By then the tension had somewhat settled and seemed to get better when she and Em had Lilly and Grace.

"Moooommm," Flynn drags out.

Hadley shoots me a sad smile.

She knows her brother is a handful.

I scoop him out of Hadley's arms and she follows us to the kitchen.

Edward is making French toast and I secretly hope his white dress shirt gets splattered with grease.

I get Flynn setup in his high-chair and his banging on the tray garners his father's attention.

"Hungry, bud?" he asks him.

Flynn glares at Edward only to slap his palms louder against the tray.

I hurry to the pantry to get his cereal out and put it in his snack cup. I place it in front of him as he happily nibbles it.

"Bacon?" Edward asks but I ignore him to leave the kitchen to take a break on the couch.

I flop down and stare at the ceiling.

I am overwhelmed.

I am exhausted.

I turn my head toward the entertainment center where all our family photos are housed. My eyes settle on the selfie I took of Edward and me on our honeymoon in St. Tropez.

The beach in the background.

It has to be one of my favorites of our vacations.

We lounged.

We played tourists.

We fucked.

We were free.

My eyes move to the photo beside it.

Another favorite.

The day Flynn was born and Hadley met him.

I'm cradling him in my arms with Hadley burrowed into the other side as she hovers over her new brother with a look of wonder. Edward hovers over all three of us with a huge grin on his face.

The next photo my eyes land on is more recent, it's the two of us slow dancing at Esme and Carlisle's anniversary party with Edward holding Flynn between us. Hadley took it with her phone.

Flynn's a year old in it and wasn't quite as wild yet.

I miss him like that.

Hadley walks into the living room and lays down to cuddle with me on the couch.

I wrap my arms around her, giving her a squeeze.

She's an empath, I swear.

"You're going to wrinkle your uniform," I mumble into her neck.

"You look like you need a hug," she responds.

"Thanks," I tell her with a small laugh.

"I think Dad knows how pissed you are," she says.

I pull back to look at her.

"Don't worry about me and your old man," I tell her hoping she doesn't worry.

We're fine mostly.

He's so hands-on with the kids that I forget at times how wonderful he is when he's busy. He has a grant proposal that's nearing its deadline so I get it, I'm just moody about having to juggle everything on my own.

"Thank you," Hadley says, breaking me from my thoughts.

"For what, Sweets?"

"For being such a great mom to me and Flynn," she tells me.

"Hadley—"

"I love my mom, but I really didn't have a mom to parent me until you came into my and Dad's lives. It was just the two of us for so long and he did the best that he could but together you made us a family. Sometimes I don't think we tell you enough how much we appreciate you," she says quietly, hugging me tighter.

I'm speechless.

She's never said anything close to that before and it makes me sad and grateful all at once. Sad for her and Rose in a way because I know how much they love each other, but know how much work goes into that relationship… on both their parts.

"Thank you," I say back to her.

"I know that Flynn drives you a little crazy but—"

"He drives me crazy as he's supposed to at this age. That's the joy of being a kid, right? To make your parents go gray," I tease trying to lighten the mood.

She didn't need to be worrying about this and she has a habit of being Edward's spokesperson.

Maybe one day the kid will win a Nobel Peace Prize for her peacemaking skills.

"Go eat, you need to be well-nourished for school," I tell her as I pull away.

She laughs but looks a little unsure.

I nudge her.

Not even a minute in the kitchen Edward comes in holding his hands up.

"I come in peace," he says.

I roll my eyes.

"Did you interrogate your daughter to gauge if I have calmed down?" I ask him while I sit up.

He shakes his head.

"I didn't realize that it's this bad," he says honestly.

"You didn't get it was this bad after me telling you and withholding sex last night?" I ask dryly.

Sometimes Edward is a bonehead.

Gorgeous, but definitely a bonehead.

He huffs out a laugh.

"I got that you weren't happy with me, but didn't realize the magnitude of your unhappiness," he tells me.

"I don't think you get it. I'm not unhappy, I'm overwhelmed. My publisher is hounding me for a new book. You've been swamped at work for the last month and have at least another week of that before you hit your deadline. I didn't realize how much I missed you being present until the last few weeks," I breathe out.

He stares at me before he's kneeling in front of me.

"I'll work from home today," he says sincerely before cupping my face.

I sigh.

"And get no work done," I tell him honestly. "If Flynn knows you're home, he'll never want to leave your side. Em's bringing the twins over and we're planning on a park adventure so go to work."

His eyes search mine intently.

"I can't lose you."

"I think that's a little dramatic. All I said was no to another kid for now not that I'm going to leave you, Edward," I tell him a little surprised he thinks that my mood was heading that way.

He still doesn't look convinced.

"I swear I'm not going to leave you," I insist.

It had never crossed my mind to divorce him.

We're a team.

That's how I approached parenthood.

That it would always be me and him against Hadley and any other children we would have and Flynn was added to those thoughts when we had him. The next kid would be added too.

Looking deeply into his eyes, I grab his face between my hands and assure him, "Edward, it will always be you and me against the kids. I'm not going anywhere, but until things settle a little bit with Flynn…I am going to hold off on another baby."

"Okay, I think I can get on board with that, Bell," he agrees with a kiss to the tip of my nose.

There will always be some obstacles to face together, but there is no one I would rather face them with than him.

I like being in the trenches with him…in the weeds with him.

A/N: Wow to the response last chapter, hopefully you all bring that kind of enthusiasm over to Paper Rings. Thanks to all of you who take the time to read and review, I do appreciate the support.

Huge thanks to CoppertopJ for her edits and additions at the end. I did tweak somethings so any mistakes are my own.