11I guide her towards some cabin rentals that outlook the river. It had always been a calm place of mine. When I would retreat back to, away from my own responsibilities. I continue to guide her, knowing the direction as the back of my hand.
I needed it since my mind was going a mile a minute. Going over everything that had happened tonight. And against all odds, I needed her warmth right now. Instead of the coldness that I have come to know with my internal life. Her skin, burning underneath mine, as she warmed my soulless body.
She pulled into the driveway, the cabin of the truck rocking a bit before she comes to a stop. I pull my phone from my pocket, shooting a quick text to the co-owner of the cabin – informing him that I have arrived and wish not to be disturbed. It was a commercial property with some sister cabins surrounding. This one was on just under two acers of land that given enough privacy.
I was only lucky that this property was only rented during the winter months, it wasn't profitable during the other times, and that's if we had anyone inquiring about it. We had a booking a months' time from now that I was sure that we would be gone by that time.
I round the massive truck, pulling Isabella into my side. Tucking her under my arm while we walk towards the entrance of the cabin. Needing her body heat against my cold skin. Isabella is quiet as she scanned the building and it's surroundings. The front porch, large enough for families to have either a barbeque or their morning coffee in one of the wooden chairs of to the side that face the way of the sunrise.
With her still under my arm, we move towards the front door, something that I had seen a hundred times since we had them built. I couldn't keep the smile from my face when I hear the gasp from Isabella's lips. She turns to me once we're inside, a smile on her lips. "And how many properties do you own?" There was a glint in her eyes with an undertone of astonishment.
I shrug a shoulder, truly loosing count off of the top of my head. "The main house just on the boarder of Fork," shortly taking inventory. Walking us over to the one of the bedrooms, it was at the end of the cabin once through the sitting room and family room. "This cabin, and a house that's North-West of Mansfield, Connecticut." Smiling down at her when she lights up at that. "I'll take you there one day." Leaning in to smell her scene, nuzzling against her temple. "It's beautiful during Christmas." A plan already forming.
We herd towards the bed, as I drop to the edge. Pulling Isabella into me, my face resting just below her chest. Her softness sends warmth through me – that I still cannot explain. But calmed my nerves, nonetheless.
"I apologize for scaring you, Bell." I whisper into her clothing. I wasn't sure if she had heard me but found out she had when her hands slide into my hair. Tugging lightly. I know what she wants, and I couldn't dare look into her eyes right now. Embarrassment and dread wash over me. A painful wave of self-hatred spreads down my spine as images of tonight's events run through my mind.
She only allows me a few minutes before she is tugging at my hair again. I go willingly this time. Her whispers fill the air, that felt like her normal voice volume in this small room. "I don't blame you." She voices. As if already forgiven for being a monster.
There we were, I had my undergarments on, while Isabella was covering herself in the bedspread. What seemed more of a comfort than her being embarrassed to show her body to me. "I thought…" Isabella stops her words; I hear the silent intake of breath. Sitting on the other side of the bed, I watch her. Her feet were planted firmly on the bedspread.
I wait for her words. It had been silent since we laid naked together. When she finally spoke, I held my non-existing breath.
"You didn't really tell me what exactly happened with Esme."
I sigh, it was drawn out. I was dreading this talk. Which I shouldn't have, knowing how much credit Isabella gives us. Gives me.
I notice my hand going to the back of my head in a scratching movement. A nervous tick of mine.
"Bell…" it came out more of a plea than anything with conviction.
Something that changes before I knew it; she scurries closer to me. She plops down, bouncing on her legs. Her own eyes pleading, her hands scrambling to grab mine. I scotch towards her, my knee bumping against her own knees. My hands cover over hers. I pat them a few times, my fingers having a mind of their own. Ghosting over hers, as my mind fades to the time she is asking about.
"You did, didn't you?" Her words were quiet, meek. As the understanding washes over her.
I couldn't bring myself to voice her suspicions. They had by far, been confirmed.
Esme was still, unmoving as I think my way through this. How to fix this, whatever this was.
"Eighty years." She whispered. That had caught my eyes. "That's what it has been since you've changed me."
Her voice betrayed how she really felt, she was hurt. "Esme," I tried to speak, to explain my irritational feelings, the ones that had betrayed me. The ones that I knew that had betrayed the trust of a loyal companion for almost a decade.
"Don't." She says, where my mouth snaps shut with audible click. She had her head lowered, bowed as her thoughts ran through her. It was as if I could still read her thoughts. "We…" As if she was second guessing her words. "We haven't been together since…" I knew where this was coming from. Before she even had to say the words. Referring to the current arrangement that they both had with each other. Not to cheat or cause questions, but they didn't have to play house when they were together. It was their code, their agreement. And he had ruined that trust. "I gotten what I wanted Carlisle." This time she raises her gaze to me. "You have showered me with gifts, wealth that I didn't know was possible until I was changed."
"That still doesn't change the trust that I broken when I left." I couldn't help voicing when she had a lull in her words.
"I knew," my eyes snap to hers, my eyebrows scrunching together. She only nods. "From the first time that she had arrived, under Edwards arm." Esme spreads her fingers over the bedspread, it was soft to the touch. "This is why you gotten a bed shortly before her birthday."
Gapping at her like a fish out of water. I lower my gaze. This couldn't be true. It couldn't. "I…" I couldn't fathom a reason for getting such a questionable thing when neither I nor Esme sleeps. It was just nice to have the simpler things and not to always be ready for a fight in the middle of the night.
"It's okay Carlisle." I couldn't bring my eyes up to hers. With tears in her eyes, she whispers. "Please, free me."
My eyebrows scrunch together in confusion, even further. "You were never trapped here." With a confused look still on my face, I look up to her. She had a strange expression that I couldn't figure out. Something I couldn't figure out for a while now. Now that I call back on it. "You were free to go whenever you wanted, all you had to do was tell me."
There seemed to be a weight lifted off of her shoulders, slouching down for a moment before she is up on her feet. She has her bag on the bed in the next moment. Her clothes the following, and to the door before a few minutes have passed.
With a small whisper, that I could barely hear, "thank you." And she was gone.