552"I hear last night was difficult." Dorea eyed her speculatively.
Hermione hummed, still feeling too wrung out and far too hungover to even begin to give voice to her feelings. Dorea arched a brow at her clearly waiting on something so she shrugged, making Dorea sigh. "We are going to discuss this, Hermione. Perhaps not right now," she conceded, "But you…you can't pretend to be ok when there's no way you can be."
"I'm here!" Izzah interrupted them as she stumbled out of the floo.
"Then let's go," Dorea commanded with one last look at Hermione before she turned, running her eyes over Izzah. "You look surprisingly well rested."
"I've had two hangover potions," Izzah replied bluntly. "And cast several glamours."
Dorea snorted, "I see. Well…shall we?"
Hermione sunk into the healing pool with something nearing relief. She heard Izzah's contented sigh beside her but kept her eyes shut, allowing the tension she'd been carrying to dissipate. Wisely, Dorea remained silent.
It wasn't until they were sat down for lunch following a thankfully much less dramatic experience of the spa, that she cast several privacy charms and pinned them with a look. "Talk."
"Aunt Dorea,'' Hermione sighed. "I don't…I truly don't know what you want me to say."
"Something! Anything!" Dorea exclaimed exasperatedly.
She shrugged, "Last night went about as well as could be expected. No one outright called me a liar at the end, no one questioned my sanity. To my face anyway. I've warned them. Either they'll agree to work with me or they won't. If they don't, Pandora will keep an eye on them."
Dorea frowned, "Do you truly think that's a possibility?"
"I think Gideon will remain as an active part of the sect, assuming that's what we are. Caradoc seemed….less, I don't know. He seemed to take it better than Fabian anyway. Having said that, I have no idea what he'll ultimately do. We'll cross that bridge when we get there. I technically don't need Fabian to see this plan through, and I don't need Caradoc to do anything other than not die. Gideon walking away will be more difficult. Ultimately, though, I've dealt with worse odds."
"Hermione…." Dorea trailed off looking lost. Beside her Izzah's face held the same expression.
"Do You…I thought that perhaps there were feelings…" Izzah hedged.
Hermione let out a mirthless laugh, "Do you know what I ultimately released last night?" Izzah shook her head, "I was right when I said I don't have time for them. I don't imagine any of what I said last night was easy to hear, easy to believe. But it was my life , I lived it. Those people were real and I watched most of them die. This war needs to end, that mad arsehole needs to be stopped and so as cold as it sounds, I refuse to need them. I refused to need anyone. I will give this whatever I can to ensure that it ends. I am working on various contingencies so that even if I die, he doesn't win. And truthfully, I think we all need to face the fact that my death is likely."
"You cannot be serious!" Izzah barked.
"It is. And that's…well it's not ok, but it's not…I used to be frightened of it you know? But I've come close more than once. And…it doesn't scare me anymore. If I die, I die. It does matter really, as long as in the end, we win."
"Hermione!" Izzah whispered sounding choked, "You can't… Merlin, you can't just die!"
"And I'll try not to. But I won't run from it if that's what it comes down to in the end."
A heavy silence fell over the table before Dorea stood abruptly, storming off in the direction of the toilets, making Hermione sigh. "I didn't mean to upset either of you," she murmured, "But this is war. I will be at the forefront of it. And we all know that's not the safe place to be."
Izzy nodded minutely, a tear slipping down her cheek. "I can't imagine how bloody awful it must have been for you to have reached the point of being so cavalier about your own death," she murmured finally, "But Hermione? Promise me that you will try not to get yourself murdered?"
"I'll try," she agreed softly.
Neither of them commented when Dorea returned ten minutes later, evidence of tears clear on her face.
"Let's go shopping," she demanded. "Merlin knows we could all do with something to distract us."
Wisely the other two witches agreed, allowing her to chivvy them out of the spa and onto Diagon Alley where she proceeded to keep them until they were all too exhausted to think.
"Are we going to talk about this?" Gideon demanded, glaring down at his twin. Across from them, Caradoc watched warily, looking like he hadn't slept.
"What is there to say?" Fabian muttered.
"How about an explanation as to why you couldn't even look at the witch who had essentially just told us that her entire life has gone? She didn't say it but most of them were dead, weren't they?"
Caradoc shuddered. "Yes."
Gideon hummed, "Those people she grew up with. Knew. loved. All dead. And you walked away from her without even looking at her."
"I couldn't!" Fabian barked.
"Why?"
"Because...because she's going to keep fighting. She's making herself a target and I want to shake her until she sees fucking sense and I can't. She…she's protecting all these people but who the fuck is protecting her!"
"Not you," Gideon scoffed, making him flinch. "I'll be surprised if she agrees to speak to you again."
"Pandora warned you…us. "Caradoc said suddenly.
"What?" Both twins' heads shot up to look at him.
"She…she said something at the Blishwick ball about Hermione not giving a second chance. That if we react badly, she'll just cut us out."
Fabian paled, staring at Caradoc in horror. "And you think that's what she was talking about?" he whispered.
He shrugged in response. "I don't know. For your sake, I hope not."
Gideon let out a long sigh, "But perhaps prepare yourself anyway."
"You look like shit," Severus eyed her with something nearing worry.
Hermione shook her head. "It's nothing."
"It's not nothing," he barked.
Hermione froze, closing her eyes briefly. "Fine," she agreed, "It's not nothing but it's…complicated and I cannot currently do anything about any of it, so can we drop it please?"
He frowned, opening his mouth to say something before shutting it audibly. "Very well." he paused, looking unsure. "If I can help…."
Hermione smiled sadly, "You can't, but thank you."
He hummed, "What…why did you want to see me?"
"Oh. I have a name for you Ellen Bagshot is going to be in touch to discuss your gift. You might also want to arrange to meet with her."
"Will you be there?" he asked with a flash of panic he quickly masked.
"If you want me to be," Hermione agreed softly.
He straightened his spine. "I…it might…help," he admitted reluctantly.
"Very well. Just let me know when."
He hummed. "Where are you supposed to be this period?"
She shrugged, "Nowhere. I usually use it to practise."
"Well then, do you want some company?"
A smile tugged at her lips, "So you can attempt to drown me again, Severus? Always."
He shook his head, "You are absurd."
"And yet you like me," she shot back.
Hermione kept quiet as Perenelle stared at her, forcing herself to remain still. "Thursday is Imbolc," she said finally.
"Yes," Hermione agreed.
"I had hoped that we could invite you all to work together but I understand that there are some…discussions that need to be had first. So. How open to attempting a ritual do you think your Mr Snape would be?"
Hermione smiled faintly, "I think he'd bite your hand off."
Perenelle smirked. "Wonderful. Do try and find out what free time he has, I'll owl Pandora. It's high time they met. And Miss Evans wanted to see a ritual. Perhaps she'd be interested. In fact, bring them all. A reminder of the power of ritual magic is never a bad thing."
Hermione hummed, "I'll ask but I imagine that either first thing or after dinner would be best."
"Splendid, I'd prefer first thing." Perenelle grinned when Hermione pulled a face, knowing how well that would be received. "Now shall we begin?"
With a hum, Hermione steeled herself for the pain as Perenelle tested her ever-strengthening shields.
Two days later found her sitting uncomfortably in the Leaky Cauldron, fighting to keep her face blank as she waited for Caradoc to arrive. She wasn't convinced this wasn't a monumentally stupid idea. But he'd asked so she agreed. It crossed her mind that he was here to let her know that he'd reevaluated his thoughts and now he wanted nothing to do with her but that seemed excessive. Surely he could just send an owl.
"Hermione," he approached her like she was a feral animal.
"Caradoc." she nodded warily.
He gave a pained smile. "Lunch here or elsewhere?"
"Here's fine."
"Right," he sighed sitting down across from her, remaining silent for several seconds. "Are we going to talk about this?"
"Why don't you just say what you came to say?" Hermione sighed.
He frowned, "What do you think I'm going to say?"
She shrugged, "Something along the lines of it's too unbelievable and you don't want to deal with the weirdness?"
"Merlin fuck, Hermione," he hissed, rounding the table so he could hug her. She stiffened and he tightened his arms. "Stop it! I understand that everything must feel….well, I imagine it feels utterly fucked if I'm honest. But you can't tell us and then shut us out."
"I'm not shutting you out."
"Really," he returned dryly. "Because the last time I saw you you at least pretended to be pleased to see me."
"I…I…"
"Made up your mind to write us all off to prevent yourself from losing more people against your will?" he suggested gently.
She shrugged slightly, "Seems like a better plan than waiting until you hate me because I couldn't save someone."
Caradoc blew out a breath slowly, "We wouldn't!"
"Wouldn't you? What if it's your mum….your best friend your…I don't know…"
"Hermione," he trailed off helplessly, "We're at war. And you are not a god."
"No but I'm supposed to have all the answers," she muttered bitterly. "And I can't guarantee that I do."
"Who expects you to have all the answers? You?" She shrugged, not looking at him. "Stop it!" he growled. "We don't… I don't expect you to have all the answers."
"But surely I should?" she whispered.
He sighed heavily, "No. Funnily enough, as I'm relatively certain I've just explained, you're not a god. You cannot know all the answers, you didn't experience this. You're relying on other people's information. Stop…stop doing this to yourself!"
Hermione lifted her head to blinking up at him, reeling when she realised that he looked properly angry. "You are so fucking infuriating," he growled before his lips crashed into hers
She froze in surprise for several seconds until she felt him beginning to pull away, her arm winding around his neck, pulling him closer, drawing a groan as she kissed him back property, feeling him draw her as close to him as he could get.
"Fuck we're in public," he breathed, looking slightly dazed as he pulled back, "Why are we in public?"
He blinked stupidly at her when she giggled. "Probably best," she murmured.
"I want to argue but your father terrifies me," he muttered, stealing another kiss before grinning at her stupidly for several seconds, his face slowly turning serious, "It's insane. And I'm not going to lie it's terrifying, and I'm more than a little intimidated by you. But, Hermione, I'm not going anywhere. I was intrigued the first time I met you. I'm not going to lie, you've only gotten more interesting. So. You have a choice. If you want to stay friends I'll…accept it. I don't like it but I'll accept it. I'd really like to be more than friends though. And, I'd quite like to help you end this so we actually consider a future without this war."
She let out a sob-like laugh. "I don't know how to respond to that" she blew out a breath, "You have to know that the chances of me surviving this are small."
"Absolutely not," he barked.
She sighed, "Caradoc….It's likely that I'm personally going to have to kill Tom Riddle. I can't promise to survive that."
"Try." he commanded. "Merlin fuck, Hermione you have to try."
"And I will but…it's not a guarantee. There was a reason I wasn't considering a relationship."
He scowled at her, wrapping his arms around her tightly. "Screw that." he muttered, "I refuse to believe you're going to die, but in case you do surely making as many good memories as possible will always be worth it."
"I know how much it hurts," she murmured, "when they die and they leave you alone."
Above her head, he grimaced. "And yet you're strong enough to survive it. Maybe it's time to trust that I am too." She sighed, sinking into him, trying to turn her brain off. "I'm going to take that as a yes," he declared stubbornly, Which means you're going to agree to an actual date."
"An actual date." she echoed.
"Yes," he replied, "An actual date, involving dress robes and preparation and being seen in public." She gave a huff of laughter into his neck, part of her hating herself for how much she wanted it. "I'll even brave your dad." he muttered.
"Oh you must mean it then," she teased softly, holding back tears as she realised that he was truly serious.
"Course I do." he paused, "And when Fabian pulls his head out his arse, he'll mean it too." she stiffened, "He's scared." he murmured, hugging her tighter. "Not of you. For you. And he has no idea what to do with that." He sighed suddenly, "And that is the last of me advocating for him. I won't bring it up again. Maybe just don't rule him out?"
She hummed, not sure how to respond to that as she tried to adjust to this new situation inside her own head.
Perenelle smiled as she looked around the half-asleep group in front of her. "For those who don't know me, my name is Perenelle Flamel. And I am High Priestess of Circe's Coven." her face turned suddenly serious, "Rituals can have surprising, often emotional effects on the participants, and I warn you now, I will take a very dim view on anyone who uses what they see here to hurt another person." her eyes zeroed in on Sirius who blanched. "Now we're waiting on one more."
"We are?" Hermione frowned.
"Oh yes. Imbolc is about growth light and birth. We have fire to light the way, water to nurture, ether to blend them all together, but what are all those without the soil to grow from?"
Understanding washed over Hermione as she glanced at her mentor. "Is that wise?"
"Perhaps not," Perenelle smirked, "I have arranged it regardless."
They waited in silence, the nerves tangible until the door pushed open and Minerva ushered Narcissa in.
Taking advantage of the stunned silence, Perenelle clapped her hands. "Wonderful, we're all here!" she smiled as she looked around them all. "Now ideally we'd be outside but alas, drawing the headmaster's attention is not in our best interests so this fabulous little room will do."
"How did you make it change?" Cassie voiced suddenly. "We duel here but ... this looks like outside."
Hermione smirked, "Mastered your patronus?"
Cassie scowled. "I will after this," she muttered.
With a regal wave of her hand, Perenelle gestured towards Hermione, Narcissa, Severus and Pandora. "You four will take part, the rest of you remain silent unless you feel moved to chant. You must remain exactly where you are, am I clear? You do not move near us for any reason, no matter what you see." She waited on the murmured yesses. "Good, now. Hermione, Southern point. Severus, East, Narcissa North, I will take West. Pandora you lead."
Pandora visibly startled. "What?" she squeaked.
"What was unclear, dear?"
If Pandora hadn't looked so terrified Hermione might have laughed. Reaching for her, she squeezed her hand, "You can do this." she murmured, "You are the thing that links us all."
Looking only marginally less frightened, Pandora seemed to square her shoulders. "OK," she whispered.
Taking up point for the first time felt strange, but she stood still, watching as Pandora set up a bowl of earth, a seed, and a jug of water in the centre before standing, lighting her sage as she walked behind them and then in front, the runes at their feet lighting. Taking a shaking breath she faced Narcissa, pressing the bowl of earth into her hands.
"Guardians of the North, I ask you to nurture our purpose, give grounding to our work and help us remain as steadfast as the earth as we move back into the light of Spring." Narcissa smiled faintly, the smell of new earth and outside filling the room.
"Guardians of the East, I ask you to nurture our purpose, wash away old habits that no longer serve us, help us quench our thirst for new knowledge and feed the growth as we all move into the next phase." Severus visibly startled when she pressed the jug into his hands, droplets of water surrounding him but not moving as Pandora smiled.
"Guardians of the South, I ask you to nurture our purpose, bring light where once there was darkness, guide us as we learn, bring warmth and comfort when the days are difficult and the seeds don't grow as we had hoped." She grinned when Hermione literally went up in flames. Outside the circle, she heard a startled yelp that was immediately shushed. "Dramatic my Mya," Pandora murmured before moving on.
"Guardians of the West, I ask you to nurture our purpose. Blow away that which no longer serves us, make room for new ideas and thoughts, guide us as we move from winter into spring."
Perenelle smiled, accepting the sage as Pandora moved back to Narcissa, closing the circle before she moved back to the centre, picking up the seed. "As I plant this, I ask the elements to help it grow, let it be a symbol of the next phase in our lives, let us all feel the bonds that nurture us, let us remember we have roots here, let us all grow as we become the people we are meant to be, let new ideas flourish, let us all remember that we are capable of change." She stepped forward, nestling the seed in the bowl Narcissa held, taking it with a smile, walking to Severus, pouring from the jug, smirking when she approached Hermione, "One usually only uses the candle symbolically." she murmured, "This poor seed will think it's summer not spring."
Hermione snorted but did not speak as Pandora stepped back towards Perenelle, taking the sage, murmuring something too low to hear as she waved it over the bowl. She had just turned to place it down when Perenelle made a startled noise. Whipping her head around Pandora watched as Hermione took a deliberate step into the circle. She paused, humming before reaching for her hand. "Together I think my Mya," her head turned towards Narcissa, "Stop fighting it."
With a look of genuine fear, Narcissa stepped towards them, accepting Pandora's hand. Hermione's moved, her eyes meeting Severus' wide ones. "Don't be afraid."
He gave a slightly incredulous-sounding laugh, able to see what they could not; Madam Flamel looked stunned.
Blowing out a breath, deciding to trust the instincts that were screaming at him, he took a step towards them. All at once he was bombarded, fire swirling around him, dramatic but harmless, a feeling of genuine affection and acceptance sweeping through him so strongly it brought him to his knees. He landed, not as he expected onto the earth of the circle, but on spongy grass, the scent of Narcissa's floral perfume filling his senses. All at once three witches surrounded him, their arms banding around him tightly as he sobbed, completely overwhelmed by the feelings he now realised came from at least two of them, a feeling of hopeful curiosity and understanding that had to have come from Pandora weaving its way through everything else as they attempted to put the pieces he'd long since assumed irrevocably broken, back together.
"I thank the gods for their presence and call this ritual to a close," Perenelle slashed her wand through the circle, breaking it once she found her voice.
"What in the name of magic...?" Minerva murmured.
"Your niece seems to favour a dramatic touch," Perenelle replied dryly, her eyes on the huddle of bodies still on the ground.
"Are they alright?" Frank checked hesitantly.
"Imbolc rituals are about light after darkness and growth and nurture and understanding. They'll be fine. Acceptance and love are rather hard to assimilate when you are not used to them."
They nodded silently as she gestured them towards the door. "I am more than happy to answer any questions in an empty classroom; we should allow them to regain their equilibrium in privacy."
"What the fuck is this?" Severus gasped finally, trying to rein himself back in, the foreign feeling of being out of control making him panic.
"Breathe, Severus." Hermione commanded, "We've got you."
Narcissa hummed, "Magic knows what it's doing."
"You just have to trust it." Pandora finished. "Imbolc is about rebirth, after all."
He glanced, gazing at them incredulously before surrendering to the feeling of the stubborn look they all returned.
"Will it always be like that?" he checked finally after what felt like hours.
"I don't think so," Pandora mused, "Although I imagine your balancing ritual will be…interesting."
He gave a startled bark of laughter, " Interesting ?" he demanded.
"More than likely," she replied serenely, finally letting him go. He blew out a breath when the other two witches moved too, startling when they clasped his hands instead.
"What am I meant to do with this?"
"Accept it?" Hermione replied with a careless shrug.
"How?" he asked quietly.
"By letting us in," Narcissa arched a brow, sending him careening back into first year.
"I don't know how to do that," he muttered.
"We'll help," Pandora informed him cheerfully, "My Mya's good with plans. She'll even colour-code it if you ask."
Hermione gave a helpless huff of laughter at the incredulous look on his face. "Just for you I'll make it in varying shades of grey." she offered, blocking the jet of water he sent her way automatically.
He huffed, "Remind me why I like you?"
She shrugged before she grinned, "I have no idea but you've just admitted you do like me, so I'm going to take it as a win."
He scowled before his face softened, admitting, "I feel like I could sleep for a month."
"Then sleep, Narcissa commanded, "We've nowhere to be just yet."
Narcissa glanced at Severus making sure he was sleeping." That was unexpected."
Hermione let out an incredulous laugh. "Unexpected? That's what we're going with?"
"Well it fits". Narcissa defended with a stubborn tilt to her chin before her face softened. "He's going to fight us."
"I don't think he will actually." Pandora mused. "He wants to be accepted, he wants to be loved. We're offering it and he can quite literally feel that. I think he'll surprise you."
"He's not good at accepting he deserves good things."
"No, but my Mya has been slowly getting him to trust her, you proved yourself in his first year. The groundwork was already laid. I am the unknown. And you two, the only two people he truly trusts, are vouching for me."
"What about Frank?" Hermione demanded.
"He's not there yet with Frank," Pandora murmured. "It's getting there…he wants to trust him. But Frank pushes Severus out of his comfort zone socially and that is challenging. He is going to need reassurance. He is going to need to keep being challenged despite him hating it but that does mean that his acceptance will be slower to come."
Hermione sighed. "Let's hope there's no repercussions."
Pandora smirked, "Don't be silly my Mya. Madam Flamel might have done the threatening but they all know you are the real threat and Severus is very much yours." She smiled slightly, her eyes going glassy. "When the time comes you will be his home. He will not run from what is coming, he will face it but on the opposite side from before. Harry was yours. Your brother, your crusade but he was also your trial run. Severus will need every skill you learned with him. But it will be worth it. He is worth it and you will never be left standing alone again. He will be your sword just as you will be his shield. Family comes in many forms. Do not run from it when it comes, or he will never be whole again."
She shook her head coming back to herself noting the completely dumbfounded looks on the other witches' faces.
"No pressure then," Hermione replied faintly.
"Are rituals always so flashy?" Lily blurted the moment the door closed behind Minerva, flushing when she realised how loud she was.
"No," Perenelle smiled, "Elements tend to be a bit flashy….but that was more than most."
"They're all elements then?" Siris checked.
"Yes." Perenelle agreed, before her face turned serious, "I assume I don't need to remind you that that means you must be careful with that knowledge."
"Why?" Cassie checked.
"Because elementals are…reasonably rare. Not incredibly so but enough that they are often coveted. Elementals who have an affinity with other elementals are rarer still."
"And there were four of them," Alice breathed, "They're only missing air."
"Quite." Perenelle nodded.
"Fuck." Frank muttered, "Did they know?"
"They suspected." Minerva sighed.
"I don't understand," Lily admitted.
"When five elements come together….the magic is said to be mind-blowing. There hasn't been a full sect in decades. They are feared, coveted, revered….and given the political climate, that is a worry."
"And they're only missing one," she mumbled.
"Quite."
"What….what actually happened?"
"Acceptance." Perenelle shrugged, "an acknowledgement of that acceptance on a magical level. It's jarring, especially if you're not expecting it. It is said to be overwhelming the first time."
"I see." She murmured. "and you do a ritual every significant date?"
"We try to." Perenelle replied lightly.
"Hermione tried to explain…".
"Yes I asked her to. "
"Is it ….what I mean …"
"What do we expect?" Perenelle asked gently, putting an end to her stumbling.
"Yes. It's…all completely out with my experience. And seeing it today...she said magic was greater than all of us…"
"It is." James voiced shifting on his feet. "We have a circle at home. And watching and participating are two very different things. It's hard to explain if you haven't experienced it."
"Can I experience one?"
"Over Easter." Minerva sighed after sharing a look with Perenelle. "We'll…arrange something. I imagine Hermione and Miss Carrow will help."
"Right," Lily murmured
"How often do you meet?" Cassie checked
"Twice a month as a minimum," Perenelle shot back, "Interested?"
"Yes." She began slowly.
"Splendid. Miss Fawley is one of ours, do join her next time."
Cassie blew out a breath. "Ok."
"I'll come too." Lily voiced hesitantly, not looking entirely sure of her decision.
"Oh good! We do so like new members. Discuss acquiring ritual robes with Minerva before you do, I can't quite imagine you're at the skyclad stage."
James seemed to choke on his own tongue as Sirius crackled at the sudden blinding blush on Lily's face. "Ah not quite," she squeaked.
"Miss Moody!" Hermione stiffened at the sound of Gideon's voice, making Kingsley look at her in surprise.
"Auror Prewett," she greeted, her face blank, too tired from the mornings ritual to coherently corral her feelings. After Caradoc, she knew she was likely overreacting, but the morning had left her feeling unsettled and therefore unable to think it through logically when she had been expecting more time to untangle her thoughts.
When he had woken Severus had been embarrassed but not overly so, seeming to accept that the feelings the ritual invoked were real. It made her job both easier and more difficult. His acceptance gave her hope that when the time came he would come to her, but it also meant that she had to react correctly or the resulting fallout would be completely on her head. It was another pressure on top of all the other ones she was feeling, combined with confusing feelings after Pandora's words about Harry. It felt wrong to consider letting someone else step into the place he'd occupied, but Merlin knew if anyone needed someone in their corner it was Severus. Which meant the confusion-tinged guilt was overwhelming.
Knowing he was missing something, but that Alex would avada him if anything happened to the witch, Kingsley took a step closer to her, arching a brow at Gideon.
"Auror Prewet," Gideon repeated with a sigh, "Is that where we are?"
"Do you want me to get your father?" Kingsley murmured.
"No, it's fine. I have somewhere to be, as I'm sure…"
"Oh, we are not doing this." Gideon cut her off. "I swear to all the gods if I have to hex you in the middle of the aurory to stop whatever this is I will."
"Gid…" Fabian's voice came, making Hermione tense further. "Ah. Miss Moody."
"Auror Prewett."
"Enough!" Gideon exclaimed exasperatedly, looking at his twin pointedly
"Oh." he rubbed the back of his neck sheepishly, "I was going to…"
"Hermione!" Charlus' voice interrupted them, looking around the group with some surprise. "Leonard has a date."
Hermione gave a brief smile that was more of a grimace, "Excuse me,"
"Dueling room, half past three." Gideon countered," Don't make me hunt you down."
"What in the name of all the gods was that?" Kingsly demanded as Hermione walked away.
Gideon sighed, "She explained some things. Fab took it badly, so now she's freezing us out."
"How badly?" Kingsley demanded.
"Badly enough, however, we all know that witch is..still trying to fix the hurt that caused her to be here. Caradoc was meeting her for lunch, I wonder how he got on."
"He got through to her," Izzah replied, with a pointed look, "And if she finds out you were gossiping about her in the middle of the office she'll have your balls for earrings."
All three men winced instinctively. "How did he get through to her?"
"I gather he refused to entertain her nonsense," Izzah smirked, "They have a date at the end of the week."
"A date?" Fabian spluttered.
"Oh yes. He kissed her to shut her up and then demanded she let him take her out. It's rather sweet really, and it worked." she pinned him with a look," I wouldn't advise you to try the same tactics."
"No." he muttered, deflating, "Is there any point in me trying anything?"
"That's up to you," Izzah retorted.
He sighed, "I didn't mean…"
"Oh I know," she cut over him, her eyes darting to Kingsley before she straightened her shoulders, choosing her words carefully, mindful of the parchment she'd signed. "But she is convinced that she will die in this war. She's lost…" she trailed off, her eyes going glassy, "she's lost everything. I truly don't think she can take another loss, she's hanging on by a thread as it is, for all she doesn't often act like it. All you did was confirm every fear she had whether you meant to or not. The pressure she's put on herself is ridiculous."
Kingsley's eyes darted amongst them. "Is someone going to explain?" he demanded.
"Not yet, " Izzah grimaced, casting a silent privacy ward just in case, "I've already said more than I should have. If it's any consolation you are on her list. She just…Kings, it's dangerous."
"So she said."
"No." Izzah shook her head, her eyes meeting his willing him to understand. "Life ending dangerous, Kings. She's not excluding you because she doesn't trust you, she's trying to protect herself."
"Right," he muttered, "she said something along those lines before."
"She's not lying. I am…terrified," she admitted, allowing the fear to show on her face. "I just can't decide whether to be terrified her predictions will come true, that the wrong person will take an interest or that she's so hellbent on ending this that she's lost any and all regard for her own safety."
"Her father…"
"Is not a god," she finished sadly, "He can no more control her than we can stop the sun."
He sighed heavily,."It would destroy Alex."
"I know." she admitted. "And that scares me too. Because currently, that which doesn't see any ending which sees her alive."
"So she's given up?" Gideon asked, his face pale.
"I think she's tried," Izzah replied softly, "And hurting. And she's thrown herself into everything she does, Merlin knows almost every free hour is accounted for but it means she gets to avoid dealing with any of it."
"So what do we do?" Fabian asked slightly desperately.
Izzah shook her head. "I don't know if there's anything we can do. Try and convince her she has something to live for? That afterwards, she can have a life. She's never really been allowed one."
He blanched further, feeling his twin's hand come down onto his shoulder "We'll figure something out. But Merlin we had better go before Moody snr appears and punishes you for your reaction."
Gideon paced inside the duelling room, his eyes on the clock. As half past turned to quarter two he was close to giving up and just hunting the witch down until a stern-faced Charlus Potter walked in.
"She'll be here shortly. I wanted a word first."
"Will she?"
He sighed, "Saul will ensure it. Izzah mentioned she didn't think she'd show unless we interfered. Care to explain why?"
"She ah…told us some things. Fab didn't …react well. Although not for the reasons she thinks."
"Ah." Charlus hummed, looking old all of a sudden "I see."
"I don't know what to do," Gideon admitted softly.
"I don't think there's an answer to that, Auror Prewet. Hermione is almost more stubborn than Alastor, you won't get the reference but she has more of her great-grandmother in her than is healthy. Just..try to convince her you're not leaving you're not I assume?"
"No! Merlin, how the bloody hell could I!"
"Lots would."
Then they'd be idiots," he muttered.
Charlus smiled slightly, "I think that's slightly unfair given the subject matter, despite being glad to hear it. She needs more people to convince her that she's worth loving."
Gideon grimaced, "How the fuck did it get so bad?" he sighed.
"Hermione or it war?"
"Either…both."
"Hermione lost everything. I don't know if I can stress that enough. Absolutely everything. She gave up her parents in an attempt to keep them safe, she risked life and limb on a yearly basis without any more backup than two teenage boys. She was hunted, tortured, scarred and traumatised. And she is throwing herself back into a situation that will likely see her face that all over again. She has help this time, but she didn't for years, so she struggles to let people in. I am terrified that I've gotten my goddaughter back only to lose her again because she's determined that our lives are worth more than hers." Gideon paled the longer he kept speaking. "As for the war, the adults that should have stepped in did not. That's all i have. Dumbledore withheld information, children were expected to be soldiers. And one day soon Dumbledore will pay for his crimes, but first, we have an insane dictator to remove and a questionably sane witch to keep alive. The dictator will be the easier of the two."
Gideon snorted, despite the horror he was feeling. "How do I get her to listen?"
Charlus sighed, "You repeat it until she's forced to consider your argument. Whatever your brother's reasoning, he convinced her that she'd been right to worry about your reaction all along. I truly don't think she knows what else to do but shut you out. She's already so perilously close to breaking as it is."
"Izzah said as much earlier," he sighed, running a hand through his hair.
"She is unfortunately not wrong. Hermione is strong, and she is fierce. And she is broken and in pain so horrific that I cannot begin to imagine it. I worry that she'll shatter if she loses someone else. And I think so is she."
"Which is why she's shut down," he groaned.
"Indeed. Now, Saul will be here in five minutes, do try and convince her that you're not a lost cause, will you? We'll deal with your brother later."
"Right," he muttered, watching as Charlus left, minutes later he heard Saul's voice, threatening to imperius Hermione if she didn't move. Whatever she growled at him was too low to hear, but her thoughts were clear as she stomped in.
"Miss Moody, how delightful to see you," he grinned.
"Can we stop whatever this is?" she responded tiredly, drawing a frown from him as he looked at her closer.
"Alright," he agreed, "If you stop whatever this is."
She sighed heavily, "Can we get on with this?"
"Yes, sit down."
She frowned, "Why?"
"Because this is ridiculous!"
She sighed, slumping into a seat, "Today has been the longest day, get on with it."
"You are absurd," he countered. "You are absurd and infuriating and I want to fucking hex you until you bloody listen! But I gather that would result in several people hexing me , so…" he sighed, crouching down in front of her, forcing her to look at him. "I am not going anywhere. I refuse to entertain this absolute nonsense, you are stuck with me. Am I clear?"
Hermione blinked down at him looking slightly stunned. "Hermione? Am I clear?" he attempted a grin, "Who else am I meant to discuss available wizard's more intriguing attributes with?"
It was enough to startle a laugh out of her before she sighed, "I wouldn't blame you for running in the opposite direction."
"Yes well, Prewetts were never very good at that. So as I said, you're stuck with me. Now you look like you could do with it, so stand up, let's see if you can channel your ridiculous into actually winning a duel."
With narrowed eyes, she stood. He yelped when the first hex landed. "Merlin fuck, maybe don't try and kill me?"
Her face remained impassive, "Maybe try not to die?" she suggested.
He snorted slightly before becoming more focused. The duel was vicious and dirty, both of them were bleeding, their breaths coming in harsh pants, neither quite ready to give in.
"Time!" A voice called from the sidelines.
Whipping their heads around almost in unison, their eyes widened when they realised that half the Auror force was watching with a mix of fear and awe on their faces.
"What in the name of all the gods was that?" Auror McNabb thundered.
Trying to force her breathing under control, Hermione raised her chin defiantly, "A duel."
"That wasn't a duel lass! That was a punishment! I have no idea what you've done to each other to necessitate that, and I don't know which of you was angrier but you're done for today, am I clear?"
"Yes," she bit out.
"Go and get cleaned up. See a bloody mediwitch before your father sees the state of you. Prewett. For fucks sake go with her. Shacklebolt, make sure they go!"
"What the fuck was that?" Kingsley hissed as he grabbed Hermione's arm, leading her in the direction of the hearers.
"A duel," she muttered.
"Hermione Moody!" he thundered, sounding so like his older self she actually faltered, her face paling. He froze, wide eyes meeting hers, "What? What did I say?"
She shook her head, her hands shaking, utterly unable to look away from his face, past merging with the present until she was convinced she was losing her mind.
"Hermione." Gideon's voice was soft with a clear hint of worry in it. "Hermione, come back from wherever you went."
She swung to look at him, feeling the tightness in her chest loosen slightly. She didn't know him before. She had no other face to superimpose on the one he had now. "That's it, breathe for me, little witch," he cooed.
"Gideon?"
"That's me," he agreed, looking more than a little alarmed when she began to sob. Despite that, he wrapped her in a hug so tight he was sure he was hurting her, but she didn't complain, her arms wrapping around him just as tightly.
"What the fuck is going on?" Kingsley hissed, his eyes darting nervously as if expecting Alastor to appear.
"Just…give us a minute," Gideon murmured, rocking Hermione unconsciously. "Come on Poppet, I need you to calm down or we're going to conjure your father of your godfather and I really don't think I'd survive that."
"You might be right Auror Prewett," Charlus intoned.
"Fuck," he hissed.
"What is going on here?" he demanded, "Why do you look like you've just survived a raid?"
"We might have had a duel." Gideon muttered.
"A duel," he replied flatly.
"Yes," he agreed "and we're just heading to be checked by the healers now."
"And that's made my goddaughter cry because?"
"We're not entirely sure," Kingsley muttered.
Charlus blinked. "Hermione, sweetling, can you let go of Auror Prewett for me?"
Slowly Hermione inched away from Gideon, her face carefully blank as she raised her head to look at her godfather, the tears falling silently.
"Let's get you to the hospital wing," he murmured, wrapping an arm around her shoulders "and then I think we need to have a chat. Auror Shacklebolt, you may go."
"Is.." he stopped when Charlus glared at him, nodding sharply.
"Well I must say, you two made a right mess of each other," the elderly healer scolded. "What on earth were you both thinking!"
They both mumbled something without being clear, making the woman huff as she repaired the damage they wrought on each other. Once she was done, Charlus ushered them both into his office.
"What in the name of Merlin happened?" he demanded.
"Honestly, Boss, it was just a duel." Gideon sighed sounding exhausted. "A vicious one, but just a duel."
"And you were crying because?"
Hermione curled in on herself, "Kings sounded like my Kings…it…it took a minute." she muttered.
"Oh Hermione," Charlus pulled her up, squeezing her. "I'm putting you on leave."
"What! No! I have too much to do!"
"Yes," he agreed, "I think that's rather the point. I'll allow the training with Nuri and meetings with the children. But you need a break."
"I can't!"
"You can. You don't have a choice. Two weeks, Hermione. That's all I'm asking. But you are going to burn yourself out."
"But Saul."
"Will agree with me completely when I explain."
"I don't have time!" she exclaimed sounding frustrated.
"You either take the time now or I fire you until after NEWTs,"
Hermione froze, "You wouldn't."
"I would," he contradicted before he sighed, his face softening, "Hermione I am worried about you. Go home." he ran a critical eye over her, "sleep. Go visit friends. In fact, go and see Alex, he's got nothing big on and he misses you."
"But I…
"Do not make me contact your father," he interjected warningly.
Hermione scowled, her form shrinking as a sulky otter appeared in her place, Nuri growling indignantly as she clung to its fur. Charlus' jaw dropped before he snorted, picking her up. "You are not this petulant sweetling. But if you were going for dramatics, a grumpy otter is quite possibly the most adorable thing I've ever seen."
The next day found a confused, unsettled Hermione stepping out of her Aunt's floo. "Hermione…lass…what is going on?" Minerva checked with a confused expression, running her eyes over her, knowing something had happened but completely unsure what.
Hermione shrugged, feeling completely wrung out and for the first time, not at all sure of her next move. "I thought…I…I don't really know what I thought but I…Dads…or Gran and I…"
"Sit down." Hermione complied automatically used to listening to the authority in her aunt's tone. "You were rambling," Minerva informed her. "Care to explain so I can actually understand."
Blowing out a breath, Hermione wrapped her arms around her middle, wishing someone would hug her, but terrified if they did the pieces would shatter. "We told the twins, Caradoc and Izzah the truth. Uncle Charlus put me on forced leave for two weeks."
"Ok" Minerva seemed to still, trying to determine what to reply, not sure what the connection was. "It didn't go well?"
Hermione sighed, looking so utterly defeated that Minerva felt a genuine jolt of fear. "I don't know if I can trust my judgement enough to answer that''
"Hermione, what in the name of Morganna happened?"
"I just ... can I go to the library for a bit?"
"Yes of course but…"
"Thanks Aunt Min."
Minerva gaped as Hermione stood and all but bolted.
"Hermione?" Cassie stared at the witch who was curled in on herself pretending to read the book in front of her. When she got no answer she turned to look at Amelia.
"Hermione!"
The witch jumped, her wand jolting into her hand as Nuri chirruped in surprise. "Peace," Amelia murmured, her hands held up. "Peace, Hermione."
"Fuck, sorry." Hermione exclaimed, dropping her hand.
"Care to explain?" Amelia asked archly
"Not really."
The other witches' eyebrows rose sharply.
"Try again." Hermione's eyes widened at the hard tone in Cassie's voice.
"I just…it's been a hard week," she mumbled, not looking at them.
"In what way?"
"Cassie!" she groaned.
"Nope. New best friend, remember?"
Hermione sighed, "I can't tell you without clearance." she muttered. "Can we leave it as I gave a group some information that they didn't take well and it….triggered some things"
Both Cassie and Amelia immediately softened. "Then let's go and do something to take your mind off of it." Cassie reached out squeezing her hand gently. "We've nothing on for the rest of the day, so. What do you want to do?"
Hermione stared back at her helplessly, fighting the urge to sob at their acceptance of her, quite frankly, awful explanation. "Let's go to the room," Amelia murmured, "It's private."
Nodding, Hermione silently followed them, pretending not to notice their concerned glances. "Do your thing then," Cassie gestured grandly.
Without thinking, Hermione paced, gesturing the other two in before stepping into the room herself. Her knees buckled the moment her brain caught up with what she was seeing.
"Shit, Hermione!" Cassie and Amelia surrounded her at the first sob that was wrenched from her, the pieces shattering at the sight of her living room, exactly as she remembered it before she'd been forced to remove herself from her parent's memories, nicknacks, childhood craft projects, intact photographs all scattered around the room. It was too much. Far, far too much and she had no idea how to cope with any of it.
She had no idea how long they hugged her, missing the sheer terror on their faces before Amelia hissed, "Go and get someone. Professor McGonagall… Snape if you have to, just… someone !"
Dimly she was aware of Cassie leaving but had no notion of how long passed. She knew someone was crying, their breathing ragged, but she didn't know who, she felt like she was floating. Utterly numb and disconnected.
"Oh Mo sholas," she felt herself being manhandled onto the cool leather of the sofa her father had insisted on but that her mother hated, insisting on dressing it with throws and cushions to make it less cold, the scent of outside and sandalwood combined with the soothing low tones of words in Gaelic she didn't understand forcing some comprehension into her foggy brain.
"Granda?"
"Aye, lass," he agreed, keeping her firmly anchored to him, "Care to tell me what caused this stooshie?"
She shook her head; above her he hummed, merely cuddling her closer, "Then just you coorie in here Mo Sholas," he murmured, pulling a blanket down off the back of the sofa, settling it around her. "You can tell me when you're ready."
She had no idea how long they stayed like that, Nuri curled into a ball, leaning against her neck her grandfather's arm anchoring her to this version of reality, his heartbeat soothingly steady under her ear. "I feel like I'm falling apart," she whispered finally.
"Why?"
"We told the twins, Caradoc and Izzah,"
"Ok," he replied slowly. "And?"
"Fabian didn't take it well And I…I think I convinced myself that they'd all react the same. Caradoc….he…he said that…he well…he refused….he…"
"Mo sholas," Robert interrupted, "You're rambling."
She blew out a sharp breath, "He wants to date."
"I see," he murmured. "And yon other lad?"
"Fabian?" she hedged.
"Aye."
"I haven't spoken to him."
"I see."
"Gideon…we duelled yesterday. He…essentially told me I was an idiot. And then Uncle Charlus put me on leave."
"Why?"
Robert had to strain to hear her as she whispered, "Because of the state we were in. and because I ah…Kings sounded like my Kings. And he wasn't…but I got lost inside my own head and I couldn't get out."
"Oh my lassie," he murmured sadly before seeming to come to a decision. "I know you don't want to hear Mo Sholas, but I think you need this. And…I think your Uncle was right."
He tightened his arms almost to the point of pain when she stiffened and moved to pull away. "No! " he growled, "Mo sholas we are worried. We have been worried for months, you haven't grieved. You lost everything, however, if you don't want to accept that as a reason, your not being on form is a liability in this war. Now, I don't believe you should be involved full stop. I'd be over the moon if you'd pass on the information you have and then step back. You won't. I know you won't. But you being fit for war is the least of my worries. You, you are my worry. We just got you back, Mo sholas."
She deflated at the pleading note in his voice. "I need this to end though. I can't…the thought of it happening all over again."
"And I understand that," he interrupted, "Which is why, despite having reservations I've held my wheesht for the most part. But if Charlus Potter says you need a break, then you need a break, my lassie."
She sighed heavily, "I don't know how to do this."
"By letting us bloody help," he muttered exasperatedly.
"Where is she?" Alastor demanded the moment he stepped out of the floo.
Robert arched a brow, "Sleeping," he retorted.
"Which is where you'll leave the lass, Alastor Moody," Janet piped up.
"Why in the name of all that is magic did no one think to tell me until I got home!" he hissed.
"Because we had it as under control as anyone could be expected to." Robert replied, "You being here would not have done anything other than make you worry. We are going to let her sleep, attempt to convince her to keep talking tomorrow and at some point, I intend to owl Alex Potter and her Seer friend…Pandora isn't it? While we're at it, a visit from the bairns is likely a good idea and maybe some time with Callum and Scott. After that, we need to send those lassies from today a thank you owl."
"What lassies?"
"One was a Bones, the other I'm not sure. I think Min said her name was Dorcas."
"Aye, Dorcas Meadowes," Alastor sighed, "Hermione likes her."
"Good, they both had the sense to send for someone else raither than try and fix it themselves. That wizard of hers should probably also be contacted at some point too. We can determine if the lad's serious. Now, she has the next fortnight to attempt to find some sort of even keel..."
"What wizard?" Alastor howled interrupting him.
"The Dearborn lad. He's decided it's time they were more than friends."
"Oh stop that!" Janet laughed looking at Alastor's face, "A wee winch never harmed anyone!"
"A wee…" Alastor spluttered, "There'll be no winchin'!"
"You keep telling yourself that," she murmured. "But I'll remind you Alastor, you and my Ailsa were hardly chaste and innocent by the time you wed lad."
Alastor flushed, making Janet cackle and Robert scowl. "I think the less we consider that the better."
"I agree," Robert cut in quickly. "Now, the lass can stay here tonight, are you working tomorrow?"
"No."
"Well, we can make you a bed or you can join us for breakfast."
"I'll stay here," he grumbled, "Merlin knows I don't put it past the witch to escape during the night."
Jamet snorted, "Not with the dose of dreamless sleep I've given her."
"Good morning hen." Janet eyed her, "You look less…manic this morning."
Hermione flushed, "I didn't mean…."
"That breakdown was a long time coming." Janet retorted sharply. "Perhaps now you'll heed our advice and attempt to grieve so you can heal."
"Nettie, let the lass have some breakfast before her lecture," Robert chided, dropping a kiss onto Hermione's head, "Good morning, Mo Sholas. Feeling any better?"
Hermione hummed, "Not really," she admitted.
"Do we get to ask what triggered it?" Alastor queried, sitting down beside her.
"Everything I think," she murmured, "It just…all felt too much."
"I see." he nodded, allowing the silence to fall as Janet handed out plates.
"Can I go and see the book?" Hermione asked hesitantly once breakfast was finished.
Shooting his wife a look when she opened her mouth to refuse, Robert nodded, "You don't need to ask."
She hummed, all but bolting from the table.
Stopping outside the door, Hermione took a deep breath, not quite sure this was a wise idea, terrified that what she wanted was an option, while dreading that more than likely it wasn't. Stealing her spine, she stepped into the room. The book felt like it was waiting, flames licking up her arm the second she made contact.
"Do you have the answers?" she asked feeling foolish, Nuri chirping excitedly on her shoulder as the flames wrapped around her like a hug, the pages of the book fluttering.
"A closure ritual?" she murmured, reading it down. "Can be performed solo in times of grief.'' There was little to no information leaving her to wonder if it was deliberate, despite that, the process was easy. Candles, a standard circle, an athame, a bowl and forget me nots. Three drops of blood and no words. Meditation suggested. "Anything else?"
The book remained stubbornly still. "Ok then." she sighed. "Let's go with this one then."
She faced her father and grandparents trying not to fidget. "Get the answers you were looking for lass?"
"Yes…maybe. I…i don't actually know. It suggested a ritual."
"Oh?"
"For closure."
Robert hummed. "I see."
"I need an athame and a bowl and a forget me not."
He hummed eyeing his wife who seemed to be having an internal debate. "Anything else, lass?" she checked clearly coming to a decision.
"Four candles. It's a solo ritual."
A momentary flash of fear crossed Janet's face before she hummed, "Let's get you your supplies then."
"She cannot be serious!" Alastor hissed the moment they'd left.
"I think she needs this," Robert mused, "And the book… it's not known to harm."
"Right," Alastor mumbled with ill grace. "I assume we're watching?"
"Might be wise," Robert agreed.
Janet smiled encouragingly as Hermione let go of her hand, trying to mask her own worry. "Why does this make you nervous?" Alastor checked as he watched his daughter walk away.
"Because if anything goes wrong we won't know."
Alastor froze. "And we're allowing that because?"
Janet sighed, "I couldn't work out how to stop it."
"Mother of Morganna," he muttered.
"The lass will be fine." Robert soothed, privately hoping he was right.
Hermione walked slowly entering the circle, before facing the candle at the north, bending to light it, "Guardians of the North, I ask for your guidance to remain grounded in this life, not the one before." Moving slowly around the circle she continued, "Guardians of the East I ask for your guidance to move forward rather than stagnate, Guardians of the South I ask for your guidance in burning away what is holding me back so that I might move on, Guardians of the West, I ask for guidance to pick myself up even when the burden feels too heavy. As I close this circle I ask magic to bless this ritual."
She stepped back into the centre, realising that this one felt different from all the others so far. There were no flashy colours, the runes were gold, and there had been no bonfire in the South but the air felt heavy, utter silence surrounding her. It was more than a little eerie when she realised she couldn't even hear the birds. With shaking hands, she cut a line on her finger, dropping three drops of blood onto the forget me not she'd placed in the bowl. And then she waited.
After what felt like hours, just as she was beginning to think she had done something wrong, there was the rustling of movement, soft footsteps drawing her attention upwards.
She was on her feet before she realised she was doing it, colliding with impossibly solid bodies, the tears she hadn't realised she had left spilling out. "Mum, Dad."
"Oh Hermione." David Granger stroked a hand down his daughter's head.
"I'm sorry, I'm so sorry, I'm so sorry."
"Nonsense." Jean dismissed, "I don't imagine we'd have been particularly understanding then but we have the benefit of knowing everything now."
"How are you here?"
"Truthfully we're not sure," David admitted. "Perhaps because we are not them yet . The universe is a rather confusing thing. Something I imagine you know quite well."
She gave a startled huff of laughter as they pulled her to sit down keeping a tight grip on her hands. "I don't know how to do this."
"Of course you do." Jean scoffed. "You just have to trust yourself."
"I don't know how to do that currently either."
"You always were too hard on yourself," David lamented. "Hermione, sweetheart, this is not all on you. You have people to help. For God's sake let them!"
"And have more fun! There is no point in winning anything if you don't survive to the end because of bad choices."
She flushed. "I didn't…it doesn't matter…"
"I swear to God Lady if you finish that with it doesn't matter if you live I will find a way to send someone to haunt you."
She choked, "Dad…."
"No! Absolutely not. You do not get to give up both your entire life and then your actual life and have no reward at the end of it, do you hear me?"
"Yes Dad," she sighed.
"Listen to that godfather of yours, he seems reasonably sensible."
"I'll tell him you said so." she muttered.
"Do." he nodded.
"And for goodness sake make more time for your friends,'' Jean continued, "That poor boy you're apparently going to adopt into this madness could do with some fun too. And Hermione…take Remus to the spa. If you do it at the same time as Severus and your father no one will pay him any attention."
Hermione stared incredulously at her mother. "They'd all avada me."
"They will not. That boy needs you as much as Severus. Differently perhaps, because he has the other boys, but as someone to help him find his backbone? You'll be good at that. He won't like disappointing the girl who ensured he had a future. Trust me."
"Yes, Mum."
Jean smiled sadly, "We love you very much, you know. And we don't regret a single moment. Whatever happens this time around, you were worth all of it."
"You sound like you're going," Hermione murmured softly.
"Oh sweetheart we wish we weren't but there's a bit of a queue, we just won the right to be first." David smiled, standing, both of them enveloping her in a hug.
"You live, my girl." her mother commanded, "Because you are strong, and you are fierce and you bloody well deserve to."
Nodding despite the tears, Hermione forced herself to take a step back, "Our turn!"
She realised later that it was better not to have seen them disappear as Fred and George bounded towards her.
"Our Uncle, Granger!"
"We're so proud!"
"Little Mya all grown up!"
"Although if you keep punishing yourself we'll work out how to send you ton tongue toffee without the antidote."
Hermione gave a wet-sounding laugh, hugging them so hard they squawked.
"I hope you are gentler with us this time around!" Fred protested, "We'll be breakable!"
"Sod that, I hope she encourages the pranks. She's going to be Auntie Mya after all," George batted his eyelashes at her, "You'll take us in when we're fighting with Mum, won't you?"
"Give us somewhere to hide our products so she doesn't destroy them?"
"And if you felt like setting us up with the start-up loan a tiny bit earlier…."
"Oh or helping from the beginning!"
They grinned at her speaking in unison, "It'd be much appreciated." And then they turned serious. "We're here. Or we will be reasonably soon."
"You have to be kinder to yourself Mya because we need you here, and whole."
Fred paused, "Uncle Fabian is a bit of an idiot. But he adores you."
"And you all deserve a happy ending, even if we know all you do together is read books," George informed her seriously. "I mean it. The storks will be bringing our cousins."
She snorted, "You're ridiculous."
"You picked him, Auntie Mya!" Fred grinned.
"Don't blame us for your bad choices."
"Not that he's a bad choice. Snape on the other hand…." he arched a brow, dodging her hand.
"Just promise you'll never let the man teach?" George begged.
"And our times up." Fred sighed, hugging her again before she could respond.
"See you in about a month Auntie My!" George grinned, squeezing her tightly.
"Well, well, well, little Miss Granger!"
"Gin!" Hermione breathed.
"A triad! From the witch who blushed at the idea of a kiss," she teased, hugging her hard. "Gods I'd forgotten how your hugs felt. Make sure you give me lots. And you know…if you felt like teaching me some cool magic before Hogwarts I'd be all for that."
Hermione snorted, "I'll see what I can do," she returned dryly.
"Good," Ginny grinned, stroking Nuri. "I'm amazed the twins didn't try and steal her."
"Me too, "Hermione admitted, "you're the only one who's mentioned her."
"Huh. Odd. Now. while we're here, do you need any advice….I can't comment on my uncle because that's disgusting, but your Caradoc's fit! Merlin Mya, that wizard's arse in the jeans you put him in!"
Hermione groaned. "Gin!"
The other witch let out a cackling laugh, waggling her eyebrows suggestively, "Advice?"
"No! No thank you!"
Ginny laughed louder, "Shame. Now. I rather like that Cassie you've acquired. Keep her if you please, I'll allow her to be your new best friend because she's pretty amazing, not as amazing as me obviously, but she's pretty close. And have a night out for me! I've ages yet and so I want to live vicariously through you!"
"How does that work?"
"Nope! I can't answer that so don't ask!"
"Gin!" she whined.
"Nope! Not telling."
"Do you all know how to end this?"
Ginny fidgeted, "Sort of?" she admitted, "It's…not as clear as that. We're here because you needed us." she turned towards Hermione looking sad, "You're punishing yourself. And we hate it, all of us. You don't deserve that. So just…please. Be kinder to yourself. Let the others in. What would have happened if Harry had shut you and Ron out?"
Hermione blinked, having never quite considered it like that. Ginny nodded sharply, clearly realising she'd made her point. "One last hug to tide me over," she murmured, squeezing her tightly "And give that Caradoc of yours a kiss from me."
"Or don't." she whirled, seeing the exaggerated shudder from the wizard in front of her. She was in his arms before she realised it was happening, giant shuddering sobs wracking through her.
"Merlin Mione," he whined, "Emotional rage of a teaspoon remember?"
She let out a laugh entirely against her will, "This time round I'll ensure it's at least a tablespoon."
He snorted, stroking Nuri. "Hagrids going to be so jealous," he grinned.
"Probably."
He shifted suddenly, "I heard you, you know?"
"What?"
"Speaking to your cousin's son."
"Oh."
"Thanks," he mumbled. "I…I know that the others had requests and Godric knows you've enough to do, but…could you maybe…"
"Make sure you're not overlooked this time?" she finished gently, smiling sadly when he flushed.
"Something like that," he mumbled. "And you know, I don't imagine I'll get away with my temper and the jealousy with an Auntie Mione waiting to knock sense into me."
"Likely not," she agreed with a smile.
"Hermione?"
"Ronald?" she countered.
"I'm not good at this," he sighed, "there is a reason it's you and not one of us."
"What?"
"Luna's mum wasn't too far off the mark, this is bigger than all of us, and you were the only one who could do it so please stop doubting yourself."
"Ron…"
"No…no…let me…look. You are brilliant, but you know that, and you're so fucking stubborn you're infuriating. But you're also the most loyal person I know. Merlin, we were arseholes sometimes and I…I'm sorry. You didn't deserve that. None of us would have been able to do what you are, you're so strong, and if anyone deserves the happily ever after, it's you . I mean and arguably Harry but…you deserve it too. So stop planning to die. We'll need you as much this time around as we did then. And it'll be different, and I imagine that'll be hard but I can't imagine living in a world without you in it. I don't want to. And Merlin help me I will find you and hex you in the afterlife if you let them get to you."
"Maybe we can aim for two tablespoons next time," she smiled, the tears tracking down her face.
Ron smiled, making her heart constrict painfully as he hugged her, "She's getting impatient." he murmured. "See you soon Auntie Mione."
"Do I get to call you Auntie too, my Mya?" Hermione froze, making Ron scoff and forcibly turn her by the shoulders.
She was on her knees before she realised what was happening the sheer pain of seeing Luna again leaving her gasping.
"It was not your fault, you couldn't have done anything," Luna whispered fiercely into her ear as she rocked her, "You gave me my last moments in the arms of someone who loved me and that is priceless."
Hermione took a loud shuddering breath in, "I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm so fucking sorry, I should have…"
"Hermione Isobel Ailsa Moody!" Luna thundered, shocking her into silence. "Are you listening to me? There was nothing , not one thing you could have done. What you did was so much more than enough. I mean it! It was not your fault."
"But you died." she whispered.
"I did,'' Luna agreed, "And yet one day soon we'll meet again. You'll give me cousins and a family and keep my mother safe." she smiled, "You'll teach me how to punch. And how to hex. The nargles won't steal my shoes this time because my godmother…she's a bit scary you know? And when she loves you, she loves you with everything she has. And you feel safe. She makes you feel safe. Even when you're dying, you have always felt safe in her arms."
"Lu…" she sobbed.
"Let go of the guilt, my Mya," she murmured, "Live, live for us until you're able to live for yourself. You have so many people who love you and if you die they'll never be whole again. Don't do that to them. They need you as much as you need them."
"What if i can't? What if it happens all over again? What if they hate me?"
"Oh my Mya," she sighed, "They could never hate you. And you will not let things happen the same way as before. Where has my Mya who punched Draco Malfoy gone? The one who stood beside the boy with the weight of the world on his shoulders and refused to move even when it hurt. The one who fought impossible odds to figure out an impossible puzzle. Who survived Bellatrix Lestrange. Who rode a dragon after breaking into the safest place in our world. Where is that witch?"
"I don't think she exists anymore."
"Of course she does," Luna chided. "You just need to let her back out."
Hermione blew out a breath, leaning into the comfort that Luna had always given. "I wish you were here."
"I know," she murmured, stroking Hermione's hair. "Mum will help though. And I'll be there soon enough."
"It's not the same."
"No," Luna admitted sadly, "It's not."
"Will I be able to see you again if I need to?"
"Mya," Luna's tone held a warning note, "You have to make peace with these versions of us. It's not healthy darling."
"Is that a no?" Hermione whispered, squeezing her eyes shut, knowing the answer before Luna spoke.
"Yes darling," Luna murmured gently, "It's a no. You'd drive yourself insane."
She hummed, rocking her slightly as Hermione dissolved into sobs, the grief seeming overwhelming.
"Feeling better?" Luna checked when she finally stopped.
Hermione opened her mouth to say no before releasing that perhaps it wasn't quite right. The grief was still there, but perhaps marginally less sharp.
"Maybe a little."
"Good," she smiled, dropping a kiss onto her curls.
"You have to go now, don't you?'' Hermione whispered.
"Harry has been very patient." Luna smiled, "Now, give me a hug to tide me over until we meet again, my Mya."
Complying Hermione tried to force everything she couldn't say into the hug, "I love you too, my Mya." Luna murmured, "Remember. I expect you to live. Don't make me send nargles after you."
"Wouldn't want that," a voice quipped. "Only thing worse would be the wrackspurts."
Taking a fortifying breath, Hermione stepped back from Luna despite it being physically painful and stepped into the arms of the boy she thought of as her brother.
"I'm so fucking proud of you big sister."
"Harry…."
"I know," he murmured. "It's a bit shit isn't it?"
He grinned at the startled laugh that escaped her before she sobered, "Unbelievably so."
"Hermione?"
"Harry?"
"Are you really keeping Snape?"
He laughed when she hit him, "Ow! Come on Hermione. I'm dead! Be kind!"
"Don't be an arse then!"
He grinned unrepentantly. "Where's the fun in that?"
She rolled her eyes at him, "How do I do this, Harry?"
"The same way you always have," he replied nudging her with his shoulder, "Although maybe try and make a plan that doesn't automatically go to hell."
Thunking her head into his shoulder she sighed, "I've never had to do it without you."
"No, but this time you've got cooler magic." he lowered his voice dramatically, "And a dragon, My!"
"Jesus Christ," she muttered exasperatedly, despite the fond undertone.
"When exactly were you going to offer me a cuddle?"
"I wasn't, she's mine!"
Harry's jaw dropped, scooping Nuri off her shoulder. "Nope! God, you are going to be the coolest auntie. How many kids get to say their Auntie has her very own dragon!"
"Oh my God," she muttered. "According to you lot, loads!"
He grinned unrepentantly, "As if you would have it any other way! You'll be forever surrounded by small adoring children."
"Who only love me for my dragon," she returned dryly.
"Not only that," he argued softly. "I couldn't have done the stupid things I did without you, My. Not and survived as long as I did, at any rate. We'll all be lucky to have you when you get us back. Just maybe trying and stop Mum murdering my dad and Sirius?"
"I can try," she returned doubtfully, making him laugh.
"And maybe actually talk to Fabian?" he shuddered, "I can't believe I'm saying this. He's not great at expressing how he feels and…well…give him a chance. Only one mind, if he can't figure it out after that that's on him. I quite like the other one even if I'd really rather not think of you with a wizard."
"I'll tell him he has your approval shall I?" she retorted dryly.
"Gods I can't wait to see his face when you do," he laughed, "You can also tell him we're bloody watching and if he hurts you I'll figure out how to get a message to someone who can actually hex him. Alex seems like a good bet. Actually, if you could ask Alex to hex Fabian for me, I'd really appreciate it. He might not be a lost cause but that doesn't mean he gets to hurt you!"
"Harry!" she smiled sadly, "You know I'm not going to pass that on."
"I'll figure out how to make it happen," he muttered, "Luna will help. Gin too probably."
She huffed out a laugh, "I imagine they will."
"Hermione?"
"You need to go?" she guessed.
"I'm never far," he contradicted. "You are going to be such a force in our world. And I never told you because well… I'm a boy and we're a bit shit at things like this but I love you."
"I love you too," she attempted to smile even as the tears started rolling down her cheeks.
"None of that," he chided, wrapping her in a hug. "Tell Dad that under the bed is an unoriginal hiding place, and Mum that I can't wait to meet her again. And…tell Sirius, tell Sirius that he is more than his last name and to remember the bloody charm, he is not ready for babies." she nodded, fighting to keep her face from crumpling, even as she smiled "And you, you.. I want to tell you that you deserve the whole world." he looked at her, his tears mirroring hers, "And I wish I could help you, I don't want to leave you, I never did. But you're going to do what I couldn't. And afterwards, I promise Hermione, what comes afterwards will be amazing." he gave her a shaky smile, "Thank you for always being there, for showing me what love was and for making hell a little more bearable. I love you. Now there is one last person. And she's waited so very patiently."
Startled, Hermione allowed him to turn her, coming face to face with a woman who looked very much like her. "Mum?"
"Oh, oh my girl!" Ailsa pulled her into her in a backbreaking hug, "I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry, I never meant..."
"Mum," she whispered, "If you hadn't I'd be dead."
Ailsa shook her head, "There were other options."
Letting her go, Hermione took a step back, her eyes scanning her face, "Pandora and Luna think fate was involved. There wasn't. Without having been there I wouldn't have the answers for here ."
"But it hurts you," Ailsa whispered. "Not just physically. Loss like that leaves scars that never completely heal. I didn't want that for you, sweetheart."
"I know," Hermione agreed shakily. "It doesn't change that it apparently needed to happen."
Ailsa slumped, "I suppose not," she agreed with a sigh.
"Can you…is there anything you can tell me that might help?"
"About?"
"Anything." Hermione sighed.
"The answer to the night we were attacked lies in your father's old case files. Or at least partially."
She hummed, "OK."
"The cave wasn't a new hiding place. Kreacher was to check the protections." she stiffened suddenly, "and that's all I can say. Now, tell your father I love him but for Merlin's sake update the house! I know he hated the vase Granny gave us when we married, so why is it still on display! Tell Mother she was right about the suitcases, she'll know what I mean. And tell Da…tell him it wasn't his fault. And maybe if you're not sick of playing owl you'll tell them and my baby cousins that I love them. And Granny that occasionally she could do with listening to someone else…oh and Muriel Sayre is the one who keeps sending her dungbombs in the post."
Hermione's jaw dropped, "Pardon?"
Ailsa waved her off, "Long-standing feud that's all in Muriel's head."
"Good god."
Laughing Ailsa wrapped her in a hug, "I am so proud of you my girl and I love you more than anything else in this world." Hermione squeezed her tightly, knowing what was coming next. "I have so much I want to say, and nowhere near enough time to do it," Ailsa whispered. "Be strong, darling girl, be brave but more than all of that, darling, find a way to live. I have to go, but a bit like your Harry, I'm never far away. I love you."