6Help fromHerpo the Foul
"There's got to be a better way!" Harry sighed.
Dumbledore was sending him and his friends on a Horcrux hunt. At least the old man had given them some tools to help them along. A basilisk fang, the Resurrection Stone, and the Elder Wand.
Briefly Harry imagined being send on his way without even this small set of tools. He shuddered. The old man was probably capable of it too. Had been. Harry shook his head.
"But how? If Dumbledore couldn't find a better way, how could we?" Hermione replied.
"Well we just ask the right people, right?" Ron blurted out.
"Wot?" said Hermione.
"Well we got the Resurrection Stone right? So we just summon old dark wizards until we find one who tells us what we need."
"And you just expect them to help us out of the kindness of their old dark hearts?" Hermione asked incredulously.
"Well it can't hurt to try, cannit?" Run grumbled.
Hermione was about to protest, but Harry interrupted. "Alright, we'll give it a try. Since it was your idea; who do you want to summon first?"
"Herpo the Foul" Ron said resolutely.
Harry and Hermione looked at him incredulously.
"That won't work for so many reasons," said Hermione.
"All right, we'll give it a go," said Harry.
He offered Ron the Stone, but he shook his head. "You've got beef with the Horcrux man Harry. It's got to be you," he said.
Harry focussed, and twisted the Stone.
A ghostly bearded old man formed between them, and looked round. "What have we here?" he chuckled. "Is someone befouling my name again?"
Hermione and Ron (who apparently hadn't really expected this to work) shrank back, whilst Harry remained focussed. "We seek you aid" he intoned carefully "to defeat a dark wizard who has created Horcruxes."
"You do, do you?" Herpo chuckled again. "I suppose I should offer some advice to reward you for summoning me forth. Why has the method of common wisdom not worked?" he asked.
"The method of common wisdom?" Harry asked, confused.
"Hit him with a soul banishing charm?" Herpo suggested, raising an eyebrow. "The spell was specifically designed to counter Horcruxes."
"The sould banishing charm?" Harry repeated.
"Green bolt spell, goes through most shields, incantation is 'Avada Kedavra'…" Herpo raised an eyebrow. "Designed to allow groups of weaker wizards to take out single–"
"The killing curse!?" Hermione interrupted.
"That's a silly name," said Herpo, annoyed. "It banishes the soul into the future. It doesn't kill."
"So there is a way for people struck by the… eh… soul banishing charm to return to the world of the living?" Harry pleaded.
"So if we hit Voldemort with an Avada Kedavra he'll be gone?" Ron asked, excited.
"But the killing curse is one of the unforgivable!" Hermione shrieked.
…
…
"The discussion on the soul banishing charm was a freebie, to thank you for summoning me, and because you've given me some intriguing news on Damocles Rowle. Now for your Voldemort problem, if you've captured one of the idiot's Horcruxes you can perform a soul summoning ritual to kill all of him."
Herpo caught the trio's meaningful glances at each other.
"What?" he asked.
"Our headmaster already destroyed the Horcrux that he found, and we haven't captured any others." Harry admitted abashedly.
Herpo the Foul snorted. "Whatever. I don't need to care about your idiot headmaster. In fact, I don't need to care about any of this. But I'll tell you how to perform the ritual if you agree to the right compensation." He smirked.
"What compensation?" Harry asked carefully.
Turning to Hermione, Herpo answered: "I'll teach you the soul summoning ritual" he wiggled his eye brows "if you're naked."
"What?" gasped Harry.
"No! No way!" shouted Ron.
"You pervert!" shrieked Hermione.
"The call me 'the Foul' for a reason" Herpo laughed. He was slapped, and his visage faded into smoke.
…
…
Herpo's lesson was demeaning but profitable.
The locket Horcrux was acquired with a little help from the unforgivables, which the trio had agreed to practice after they researched the circumstances of their banning a bit more.
The ritual killed Voldemort from a very very long distance.
Hermione resolved to always trust a proper expert, and not –for example– trust a transfiguration expert to know the best way to deal with the Dark Arts. No matter how wise and charismatic that expert might be.
The next challenge Harry and Hermione aimed themselves at would be to reform the Wizengammot and remove the blood purists from power. Maybe just remove the blood purists altogether. The unforgivables itched on Hermione's soul, always tempting. And in time, well, even the dementors of Azkaban would fall to her wrath.