Thanks to E-LuckArcher for one of the hilarious scenes in this chapter! And yes, I'm FULLY aware that it doesn't fully work timeline wise. Work with me here.

Also, I suck with chapter titles. If anyone has a good one lay it on me.

WARNING FOR ALL READERS/FANS: Great news everyone! They fucked alerts again! They didn't even manage to keep it fixed for a fucking week! If you rely on alerts, YOU WILL NOT BE GETTING THEM. No PMs, no review alerts, no update alerts, nothing! You pretty much have to just have a fic on your favorites list and check it every day to see any updates.

Just in case you missed it because of this basic fucking non-functional service, I updated Supernova last month!

-]|[-

Chapter VI:

-]|[-

Ichigo let out a groan as he woke up, feeling like he'd been run over by a steamroller. "Ugh…" He squeezed his eyes shut in pain as he brought his hand to his forehead and rubbed it, "Anyone get the number off that semi?" He groaned again.

"Ha! You wish it had been a semi!" Isshin's voice spoke up, and Ichigo opened his eyes, squinting and blinking for a few seconds. "How are you feeling, son?"

"I-" Ichigo cut himself off as the memories rushed back, and he sprang up to a sitting position so quickly he got light-headed, "D-Did I hurt anyone?!" He turned pleading eyes to Isshin, "I-Is everyone okay?!"

"We're all fine, son." Isshin nodded, and all the tension rushed out of Ichigo, and he fell back onto his bed. "It was a…close thing." Isshin admitted, "But things turned out as well as they could have." He got off of Ichigo's dresser and walked over to his son, "Did you have any idea at all that such a thing could happen?"

"No." He took his dad's hand and sat up, "It's never happened before. I never even imagined…" He pressed his hand to his head, "Just… everything got too much. I… I guess I never really forgave myself. It was just buried. And when I saw it and it laughed and said it didn't even remember mom…"

"You little fool." Isshin walloped Ichigo on the head, "I told you, son. No one blamed you." He watched as Ichigo rubbed the top of his head, "No one but you, apparently."

"I know." Ichigo huffed, "I…I thought I had forgiven myself, but when I saw her grave…"

"Survivor's guilt is a hard thing to overcome." Isshin sighed, "I saw it many times during my days with the Gotei 13. 'If only I was faster. If only I was stronger. If only I had trained harder.' But you can't change the past. And you especially, could have done nothing. We knew you were special, Ichigo. Masaki and I both knew it. But we made the choice to keep you ignorant. To keep you from worrying about matters of life and death, especially so young." He sagged, "I can't say if we would have made a different choice, even knowing what was coming. You should have had a normal childhood. A normal life. You shouldn't have had to worry about terrifying monsters and things other people couldn't even see. That wasn't the life your mother and I wanted for you. For any of you. Even Masaki hadn't fought a Hollow in years, despite the fact that she could. We always left it to Kisuke, or the other Shinigami stationed here."

"I know…" Ichigo let his eyes fall to his floor, "But because I didn't know then… because I rushed to save a spirit… because of that light… Mom died." He clenched his fists, "No. She didn't even get to die. She was trapped inside that monster for six years!"

"And now she's free." Isshin put his hands on Ichigo's shoulders, "Masaki is free now, Ichigo. And I'll say it a million times if I have to. You. Were. A. Child. It wasn't your fault. And it never will be. So please, son, let go. If not for your sake, then for everyone else's. You can't lose control like that again."

"I know." Ichigo stood, "It wasn't… just that monster that caused me to lose control. It was the fact that I have Hollow in me too. That I shared a species with that son of a bitch. And in that moment before I snapped… I hated myself because I could be-"

"NO!" Isshin shouted, clapping his hands on Ichigo's shoulders, "Never." He said forcefully, "Never, do you understand me Ichigo?"

"Yeah." Ichigo chuckled, "While you were holding me back out there, I was having it out with Thor inside. I had to… confront it." He punched his palm, "I'm good now, dad. I promise."

Isshin sighed in relief, "Come on then. Your sisters were worried."

Ichigo followed Isshin now, and found that Yuzu and Karin had practically been vibrating ever since they heard Isshin shout. "ICHI-NII!" They both shouted and practically knocked him over in their rush to hug him. They were both crying as Ichigo hugged them tightly.

"Yuzu, Karin…" Ichigo teared up a little too as he held them close, "I'm so sorry. I… I must have terrified you."

"Idiot!" Karin smacked him with her little fist, "We're just glad you're okay."

"Y-you were-" Yuzu sniffled as she bawled, "You were nothing like Ichi-nii! That was the scariest part."

Ichigo felt like his heart was being shredded in his chest, "I'll never lose control like that again. I promise…" They separated, and Rangiku hugged him close. "Dad told me you made sure they were safe." He looked into her eyes, "Thank you, Rangiku."

"Idiot. Anyone would have done the same." She wrapped her arms around him tightly again. "Damn it, Ichi. What did Grand Fisher even say to make you explode like that?"

Ichigo growled at the memory, "It asked why we were so angry, and I told it that it had killed our mother." He looked away, "And the bastard had the gall to reply 'Sonny, do you have any idea how little that narrows it down?'"

There was dead silence for a moment, before Karin kicked Isshin in the shin, "Yow! What was that for, Karin?!"

"We need stronger Kidō, Goat-chin." She growled. Even Yuzu was looking furious, and was trembling with shaking fists next to her twin.

"You need to let the grown-ups handle most of it." Rangiku was the one who patted both of the younger girls on the head, "This isn't a matter of teaching you stronger spells. You're too young for your Reiatsu to develop naturally, and you don't have unnatural sources of power like Berry-kun to compensate."

"She's right. You girls just need to keep practicing." Isshin took over headpatting them.

"But!"

"No buts, girls." Ichigo said, "I never should have been doing this stuff when I was your age. So, unless you tell us you've been dream-talking to your deity Zanpakutō spirits every night…"

"No…" They both dropped their heads.

"Don't worry." Rangiku told them cheerfully, "You're already stronger today than you were yesterday. Reiatsu increases the fastest when the soul is in danger."

"Don't tell them that, idiot!" Ichigo balked.

"Don't be mean, Ichi." Rangiku elbowed him, "Your spells should have a bit more zing to them now. And from what I sensed, you two are probably ready to at least tag team a regular weak Hollow with supervision."

"I…I don't know." Yuzu mumbled, "It was too scary facing that one."

"Tch." Karin looked away, not wanting to admit that she had been scared too.

"That was not a regular Hollow, girls." Isshin said, "That was a Huge Hollow. To have that be your first…" He sighed, "It's our fault for assuming the world would wait for you to be ready." He grinned, "But enough of that dreary stuff! I have some good news!"

"You do?" Four voices question curiously.

"That's right!" Isshin grinned, "Yoruichi is finally back." It took a moment for the words to settle, but when they did…

Ichigo let out a mad grin.

The cackling they could have done without.

…

They were ready to head off to Urahara's. The pain had mostly gone away, and he was moving freely. His dad and sisters had already left, leaving Ichigo and Rangiku alone as they had a quick breakfast. He hadn't eaten anything since before they went to the graveyard the day before. He quickly put on some new clothes, and descended down the steps to see Rangiku waiting for him. "Ready?" She asked, smiling at him.

"Almost." He said, stopping in front of her, "Dad didn't really say much. Were you in danger at any point?"

"Only if we tried to keep the secret." She replied, "Your dad sliced a boulder that was coming for us from the explosion of one of your punches."

He winced, "Rangiku. Thank you. Thank you for keeping them safe. They mean the world to me. I-"

"I know." She cupped his cheek gently, "I love those two little cuties too, and I've known them for only a month. You don't have to thank me. Not for that." She smiled at him, "Come on Ichi. Before we're late." She turned and went to open the door, but he grabbed her hand and made sure she turned around again.

Her eyes opened in delight as his lips met hers, and she quickly wrapped her arms around his neck. They pulled each other closer as they kissed, and Rangiku wrapped a leg behind both of his as they pressed their bodies together. Finally, they separated, their faces hot, "They're not the only ones who mean the world to me, you know." He said in a husky voice.

Rangiku giggled, "It's about damn time, you blockhead." She pulled him back in for another kiss.

-]|[-

Ichigo, his family, Rangiku, Orihime, Tatsuki, and Sado had gathered in Urahara's basement. "Helloooo, everyone!" Kisuke said cheerfully, hiding behind his fan. "Are you all excited?"

"Like you wouldn't believe!" Ichigo clenched a trembling fist in front of him. "And Hat-n-clogs, Tessai… thanks for the help." He said, remembering what Isshin had told him.

"Ah, what's this? Some genuine gratitude? You warm my heart, Kurosaki-san!"

"Don't push it." Ichigo deadpanned, making Tatsuki snigger.

"Well, without further ado… please meet my great friend, Shihōin Yoruichi!" He gestured, and a curtain that they had all been studiously ignoring opened up, revealing… a black cat, lounging and cleaning its fur.

"…Eh?" The teenagers and Ichigo's sisters all looked confused, "Where are they, Urahara-san?" Yuzu asked, "All I see is that cute little kitty."

"Why thank you. I am quite cute, aren't I?" A very masculine, unfamiliar voice said, and they all leapt away with frightened screams as the cat simply appeared before them.

They gaped at the cat, before Tatsuki yelled, "Wait a fucking second! You're telling me Yoruichi is a cat?!"

"That I am." Yoruichi confirmed, "So, you're the one Kisuke said I would be interested in, hmm?" Tatsuki twitched, wondering what the hell that meant.

"No!" Ichigo yelled, pointing at the cat, "Explain! Why are you a cat?! How does a cat even sneak into Soul Society?! How does a cat steal six Asauchi?!"

Yoruichi sighed heavily. "Very well… The truth is… I was a human once."

"A human?" They all gasped in shock.

The cat nodded. "Yes… but one day, while I was with my friend in Hokkaido, a bear attacked us. It forced us all apart, but not before we promised to meet again." Yoruichi shuddered as if trying to hold down his tears. Something about the story tickled in Ichigo's mind. "While running away, I met an old man with a silver beard that promised to teach me how to defeat bears." The cat's sadness transformed into excitement. "While training in the jungle, I found a weird fruit with some swirls on it."

'Wait a goddamn second.'

"I ate it, and let me tell you, it tasted like shit. But the end result was what you see! I got transformed into a cat!"

Ichigo turned around and waved over his shoulder. "I'm out of here. Good luck finding the One Piece."

"ARE YOU KIDDING ME?!" Tatsuki exploded, having been drawn in by the story. Orihime had even been sniffling. Isshin couldn't hold it anymore and fell over, howling with laughter. Karin and Yuzu broke, and were giggling madly, with Karin even hiding her face behind her hands.

"Ahahaha! So worth it!" Yoruichi rolled around laughing, "But, I suppose I've had my fun."

'Wait.' Ichigo thought to himself, 'If he was comparing it to a Devil Fruit, then…' He whirled around as the cat started to glow.

"Why don't I slip into something more comfortable?" Yoruichi said, before a cloud of smoke engulfed him.

Isshin hurried and grabbed both of his daughters, covering their eyes. "Hey! What gives, Goat-chin!" Karin yelled, trying to wrestle his hand away to no avail.

"Sorry girls, you'll have to be blind for a little bit." Isshin said, holding tight.

The teens stared into the cloud, and their jaws all dropped as Yoruichi was revealed.

Naked.

Stretching her back with her arms above her head, which pushed her utterly perfect, perky breasts out. She was very short at just over five feet tall, and had chocolate skin with exotic, luscious purple hair. And as they could see, the carpet matched the drapes. "Mmmm, it always takes me a while to get used to this body again!" She said as she stretched out, before opening her eyes and standing straight, revealing golden irises.

"YOU'RE A WOMAN?!" Orihime gasped, "But your voice was so manly!"

"WHY ARE YOU NAKED?!" Tatsuki roared, covering Chad's eyes with a massive blush on her face. She made no effort to cover her own eyes.

Rangiku (who had never actually met the former Onmitsukidō Commander-In-Chief and had only heard rumors of her beauty a hundred years ago) and Ichigo simply stared, jaws dropped, and cheeks red.

"Ohoho, those are some nice reactions." Yoruichi grinned cattily at the two, before turning to Orihime, "Well, it wouldn't be a very good disguise if I used my regular voice, would it?"

"Oh! That makes sense!" Orihime giggled, barely even paying attention to Yoruichi's masterfully fit, nude body.

Yoruichi laughed, and answered Tatsuki, "Why would I be clothed? Do you have any idea how uncomfortable that is as a cat?"

"WELL, YOU'RE HUMAN NOW! PUT SOME CLOTHES ON! DON'T YOU HAVE ANY SHAME?!" The martial artist shrieked.

"Mou, you're less fun than I thought you'd be! I like their reactions better." Yoruichi pouted as she pointed to Ichigo and Rangiku, "Fiiiine!" She…glitched and then was fully clothed before them. Her hair had been done up in a ponytail, and she wore a black, backless, sleeveless top that seemed molded to her every curve and left plenty of side-boob exposed, and an equally tight pair of stretch pants. She had a beige sash as well as a pair of wrist-warmers/gauntlets, and legwarmers with brown boots.

"What the heck?!" Tatsuki gasped! "What did you do?! Was that some form of Kidō?!"

Karin and Yuzu had joined in on the gaping now that Isshin had let them see, and both were blushing at the fact that this woman had just been naked in front of them.

"N-No…" Their heads jerked to Ichigo, who had broken out into a sweat, "That was all speed."

Tatsuki's eyes bulged "BULLSHIT! NO ONE'S THAT FAST!"

Yoruichi merely laughed, "Oho, you followed that? Maybe I've gotten a bit rusty over the years." Tatsuki grabbed onto Chad just so that she wouldn't fall over. "Well, come on kids. No sense in letting those Asauchi go to waste." She quirked her head to the side, "Though I'm wondering what you all plan on doing with them. All of you are alive, so you can't just hide them with your soul bodies."

As they followed her, Rangiku leaned over towards Ichigo, "…Think she'd model for us if we took her shopping?"

"Odin, I hope so." The distracted hybrid muttered back, before flinching and looking at her.

Rangiku smirked at him, "Good. You're honest." She laughed lightly, "Don't worry Ichi. It wouldn't even be my first threesome… though I suppose it would be my first one sober." She walked ahead of him, swaying her hips.

Ichigo choked as he hurried to follow her, and up ahead, no one noticed Yoruichi's ears twitch and her smile get the tiniest bit smugger. "Alright! Here we are!" She gestured to a small platform where all of the Asauchi were, arranged on fancy-looking pillows.

"Wow, they all look the same!" Orihime gasped as she looked at them. Indeed, they were all the exact same.

"That's right!" Urahara said cheerily, "All made by the same man, and one you shouldn't really expect to ever meet yourselves. They are all completely and utterly uniform, and therefore, the ultimate Zanpakutō!"

"But how does that make sense?" Tatsuki frowned, "They're just empty blades. It's practically in the name! How can they be the strongest?"

"I did not say 'strongest,' Tatsuki-chan." Urahara chided with a teasing finger wag in her direction, "I said that they were the 'ultimate' Zanpakutō. Because these babies? They can become anything."

"Every Shinigami hopeful is given one upon entering the Shin'ō Academy." Isshin explained, "Our students spend every waking moment with their Zanpakutō. Training, studying, eating…" He chuckled, "Even sleeping and showering with them, in some cases." The kids all sputtered, "And in doing so, you imprint your soul upon it. Then it becomes your Zanpakutō, with its own unique power and abilities."

"Exactly!" Urahara smiled, "So you're all a bit late in receiving them. Most of you are already pretty far in your training, after all. With any luck, it won't take too long to start the imprinting, and you can speed up the process by feeding it some Reiryoku." He clapped his fan shut, "Youngest first. Come on, Yuzu-chan. Karin-chan."

"Thank you, Urahara-san. Yoruichi-san." The two bowed politely.

Yoruichi laughed, "Hey now, I didn't think it was possible for Isshin of all people to raise such polite children!"

"Don't get used to it." Karin deadpanned, causing Yuzu to elbow her reproachfully. Yoruichi merely laughed harder.

"Aww, I was hoping something would happen." Yuzu pouted slightly as she held her Asauchi. She held it in both arms.

"Yeah, but they warned us." Karin mumbled, and stepped away with Yuzu.

"Go on, Orihime." Tatsuki gently smacked her girlfriend's shoulder to push her along.

Orihime practically skipped her way there, smiling brightly as she grabbed the weapon. "It's nice to meet you, Mr. Asauchi."

"Daww, that was too cute." Yoruichi grinned at the orange-haired girl.

"Yeah, nice to meet you, partner." Tatsuki looked at the sword in her hand after grabbing it, and it might have been her imagination, but she swore it seemed a tiny bit smaller than it had been before she grabbed it.

Sado walked up and said nothing as he grabbed it, staring at the sheathed blade in contemplation, remembering his abuelo's words from long ago. Could he really use this? He remembered all of the Hollows he'd faced, and especially Shrieker. He remembered Ichigo's words as well. He lowered the blade to his side and walked away, saying nothing, but having found a new resolve.

Finally, it was Ichigo's turn. "Go on, Berry-kun." Rangiku nudged him playfully, "This one's been waiting long enough."

Ichigo smiled back at her, and walked over to it. None of them knew it, but outside, the skies started to darken slightly. Ichigo stepped up to the table and held his hand out to the final Asauchi when a crackle of lightning sprang out of it to his hand. Yoruichi and Kisuke's eyes widened. Kisuke went to open his mouth, but Ichigo spoke first, "Hey…" He said softly, and yet everyone listened, "I… suggest you all back away."

Rangiku and Isshin didn't hesitate, and each grabbed one of the twins before backing away quickly. Tatsuki, Orihime, and Sado all leapt back a great distance. Urahara and Yoruichi vanished in a flash of Shunpo.

"Yes, that's right boy." Thor rumbled in his head, "You should be able to hear it now… right?"

Ichigo grinned madly as his hand closed around the hilt, "Gōzen Raiu!" He roared, drawing the blade. Lightning roared in Urahara's training ground, crashing into rock, and shattering it. Bolt after bolt seemed to fall on him from cloudless skies, the flashes revealing a sword that was rapidly warping into a hammer. It was short for a Warhammer, with the handle being more along the size of a regular working hammer. But the head. It was a massive ingot of metal bigger than a sledgehammer, as if it had been too tough to actually be worked. Despite that, it was carved with symmetric patterns on the sides as well as Norse runes which were flickering with purple lightning. The handle was only barely able to be attached, and required additional support from engraved bronze anchors, and a small leather thong hung from the end of it.

Yoruichi looked delighted, having found another lightning-aligned Shinigami. "This kid." She was grinning widely.

Ichigo held his hammer in his hand for the first time, feeling the lightning course through his veins. He felt complete now. Hollow, Shinigami, and Quincy were now in greater harmony, with his weakest side, the Shinigami side, finally brought up to the level of the other two. He could only hope that it meant it would be much harder to disrupt his soul now, like Grand Fisher had.

"Welcome home…" Ichigo smiled softly, "And I'm still calling you Thor."

"Ahahaha! Didn't expect anything different, brat!" Thor roared back, feeling as joyful as his wielder.

"Well now, that was sure something, Kurosaki-kun!" Urahara called out. "How do you feel?"

"Never better." Ichigo said, instinctively sealing Gōzen Raiu away. It was more difficult than he thought, but he'd had a lot of practice at this point in controlling his Reiatsu. He didn't notice it, but his Quincy cross seemed to be gravitating towards it, slipping out of his shirt of its own accord. The hammer glowed, before returning to being a sword.

Everyone gawked.

The blade itself was no longer a Japanese katana, but a Zweihander that was just slightly longer than Yoruichi was tall. The blade flared out near the cross guard, which were shaped not unlike the fleur de lis with an arrowhead middle tip at both ends. The ricasso was massive, and embossed with a cross on both sides of the blade. The fuller was thin and narrow, going down nearly the length of the blade. Small carvings of runes dotted the entire length as well. A rich purple jewel capped off the pommel, flaring it out a bit.

Tatsuki stomped up to him, "Can you be normal for FIVE MINUTES?!"

"Magic Eight Ball says 'no.'" Yoruichi cackled, finding this all too hilarious. Once she calmed down, she asked again, "Seriously though, what are you all going to do with them? Just because other people can't see them doesn't mean you won't feel them carrying them around. And you could also accidentally touch someone with them, and they'll certainly feel that. Reishi can still affect regular matter. If it couldn't, Hollows would never be able to destroy anything or hurt living humans."

"What do you usually do with them?" Orihime asked curiously.

"Well, usually they're just stored inside of our Gigai along with our souls." Isshin explained, "We have to get out of our temporary bodies to be able to use them."

Yoruichi chimed in, "Kisuke is a bit of a weirdo as he essentially made a Gigai for his Zanpakutō. That's why he always has his. Of course, no one really goes around with canes nowadays, so it's a bit out of fashion." Kisuke pouted.

Ichigo was frowning, 'Honestly, that just sounds really inefficient.'

"Can't we just do that, then?" Karin asked her father.

"Ah, but there's a fundamental difference between all of you and all of us." Kisuke waved his fan in front of his face, "You are all still human, and you're all still alive. If I pushed one of you out of your body, you wouldn't magically become a Shinigami." He shrugged, "Frankly, this has been a delightful learning opportunity for us. You all can already do things none of us ever thought of, so I wonder what you'll come up with?"

Ichigo reached up to his neck to finger his Quincy cross, and almost had a heart attack when he felt nothing but the chain. "What the?!" He gasped, whipping the chain off his neck, "Where did it go?! I know I was wearing it!"

Isshin's eyes popped out of his skull, "WHERE'S MASAKI'S CROSS?!"

"Relax, boy." Thor rumbled in his head, "In fact, it's still in your hand. It combined with our blade."

"It did? How the fuck?" Ichigo stared at his Zweihander in confusion, before closing his eyes. The sword began to glow, before it rapidly shrunk even more, reforming into the familiar heirloom. Only it wasn't familiar anymore, and looked different, resembling more the cross that had been on his sword. Everyone stared. Ichigo allowed it to flash again, and it transformed into his massive 'fuck you' cannon. And then it switched directly from cannon to Zweihander again.

"Kurosaki-san." Urahara said with faux cheer, "Explain."

"Fuck if I know." Ichigo shot back, shrinking it back into his cross and clipping it back onto its chain. Urahara almost fell over in depression.

"Great! And that doesn't help any of us!" Tatsuki groused, kicking out at Ichigo, "What the hell are we supposed to do with these?!"

"What are you, stupid?" Ichigo dodged and grunted back at her, "It's a weapon of your soul, so hide it in your soul and pull it out as needed. Honestly, this whole 'leaving the Gigai' thing just sounds backwards to me."

"It ahh… doesn't work like that, Ichigo." Rangiku chuckled, "Plus, your human bodies would be far weaker than your soul bodies would be. That's another reason we leave our Gigai to fight."

"Well, what's going to happen if we ever need to go to this Soul Society place for whatever reason?" Ichigo asked, knowing it might twig his friends' suspicions. "Would our bodies go too?"

"Certainly not." Urahara explained, "Only souls may go to the Soul Society. Even if I removed you from your bodies, you would be unable to move too far due to the Chains of Fate which would still be attached to your bodies. Therefore, to use a Senkaimon, you would first need to have your bodies converted from regular matter – Kishi – into Reishi through the use of a Reishi Henkan-Ki."

"Then can't we just do that without the machine?" Orihime smiled, "Then we could just switch between body and soul, right?"

"Ahahaha! You kids are so cute!" Yoruichi roared with laughter again, having to hold herself up with Rangiku.

Rangiku looked pretty amused as well, "Well, if you kids ever figure that out, you might even get elevated to the Royal Guard for such a creation."

"Indeed." Urahara chuckled, "Such a thing would be a dream come true for the Gotei 13, I think. We've had Gigai for hundreds of years, yet no one has ever managed such a thing. After all that time, I'd say it's pretty impossible."

'Impossible, huh?' Ichigo smirked, clenching his fist, "Hey, Hat-n-Clogs…" The blonde looked at him, and the man's smile twitched for just a second, "Hueco Mundo and Garganta… does the same apply?"

"Of course." Urahara agreed.

"Then I'm calling bullshit!" He grinned, "Because I've been inside of Garganta plenty of times, even if I never went directly to Hueco Mundo. And that means I've been instinctively doing just that." He closed his eyes, allowing everything else to just fall away, and focused on that distinctly Hollow side of him. But he focused harder as he opened a Garganta and stepped inside of it, allowing it to close. He needed to feel what his body was doing. He opened another exit portal and stepped out, eyes still closed. But his grin had just widened further. He focused, pulling on that feeling he'd just experienced and allowed it to engulf him.

To his observers, his body started to release black smoke which soon engulfed him and then vanished, revealing him in a completely different outfit. It bore a resemblance to the standard Shinigami shihakushō, but only a resemblance. He had the black hakama pants and the white obi tying it off, but the top was missing. Instead, his torso and arms were wrapped up in dark grey bandages. His forearms were covered by bracers just like Thor's, in pitch black. He also had a similar-looking armor covering part of his torso, and a black fur cloak. "How's that for impossible?" Ichigo jeered playfully, swinging his sword onto his shoulder. "Eh?"

He blinked, and Urahara had vanished, and he was sideways. He blinked again, wondering what the hell happened, before looking down. Urahara was holding him over his head like a trophy, and then the two vanished.

Everyone else just stared at the spot where Ichigo had stood in dumbfounded shock, until Yoruichi spoke, "I'm not the only one who heard a chimp sound from Urahara, right?"

Orihime, Karin, and Yuzu sputtered out fountains of saliva in picture-perfect spittakes.

-]|[-

Kisuke's kidnapping had not lasted overly long, with Ichigo only being required to sit inside one of the lab rooms with hundreds of monitoring gizmos while transforming back and forth. Kisuke quickly had enough data to figure out what the hell was going on, and before the day was even over, had already successfully taught every single one of them how to mimic Ichigo and simply switch between human and soul with a snap of the fingers. Ichigo was, of course, getting most of the credit.

It honestly was a godsend since the humans could now just pull their Zanpakutō out from 'hammerspace' as Karin had called it with a cheeky grin. Only Ichigo had an actual Shinigami form, with the others simply becoming souls. None of them could call themselves Shinigami except for Ichigo. Yet.

And so, life went on, except Ichigo had definitely caught the interest of Shihōin Yoruichi. The cat had primarily taken Tatsuki on since they were the most alike in terms of combat style, and in just a few weeks Tatsuki's Shunpo had become scary. As in, 'approaching Ichigo's half-assed speed' scary.

Of course, Tatsuki didn't like all of it, because Yoruichi had forced her into the Onmitsukidō outfit she wore, revealing that the skintight, backless top she wore was actually a leotard that did very little pretending that it cared about hiding her ass.

Orihime and Sado were very thankful to Yoruichi.

Tatsuki's hand-to-hand had improved by leaps and bounds, and Yoruichi had started to teach her some Kidō as well. None of them had expected it from the woman, but apparently she was actually a very well-rounded Shinigami and was a Kidō Expert as well. According to Tessai, she was underselling her skill there, but did not elaborate further.

Nonetheless, while Tatsuki was her primary student, she had the most fun teaching Ichigo. "Come on Berry-kun!" She had a delighted smirk on her face as multiple speed clones of herself fought much fewer speed clones of Ichigo. "Didn't you tell me you were fast? I'm out of shape, you know?"

"Fucking Rangiku." Ichigo growled, "Did she have to mention that nickname?!" As he tried his hardest to tag her.

"Oh, don't blame her." Yoruichi laughed, "I would have come up with it on my own." The two came to a stop and all of the speed clones vanished, "Guess it was too much to expect you to be fast enough to have fun with." She forced a pout, watching as Ichigo got even more ticked off, "Guess we'll just do Hakuda for now." She blitzed forward and launched a punch at his face, which he ducked. He retaliated with a palm strike upwards to try to hit the underside of her chin, and she nimbly moved back just enough that his hand missed out on grazing her chin. He reset quickly and followed up with a kick aiming to take her head off.

She simply spread her legs and did a split, smirking at him tauntingly all the while. "What the hell? You're so fucking flexible!" His distraction cost him because her fist whipped out and smashed into his knee. "Yow! Why you!" He had wobbled before his regeneration took care of it, and raised his leg for an axe kick. Yoruichi placed both palms on the ground and pushed herself up and back, vanishing in a Shunpo. Ichigo completely stopped after his kick shattered the ground and gaped at the standing woman, "Did you just Shunpo with your hands?"

"They don't call me the Goddess of Flash for nothing, you know?" Yoruichi teased him.

"I thought that was because you love flashing that perfect body?" Ichigo shot back, and got a laugh out of Yoruichi.

"Well, little of A, little of B, I suppose." She laughed a little harder. She glitched again and then threw him a bottle of water. "You're not bad, you know?" She asked after taking a swig, "I expected to have to beat out a lot more bad habits."

"I learned Karate when I was younger." Ichigo said, "So I already knew how to train. Then I have Thor who I train with every night too. He's not exactly a slouch in a fight."

"That's still so weird." She deadpanned, "I've never heard of any Zanpakutō like yours."

"Well, I am a weirdo." Ichigo chuckled, draining the other half of the bottle, "What about yours? Are you ever going to bring it out?"

Yoruichi chuckled a bit mysteriously, "Sorry, Ichigo. That's not something that's ever going to happen."

Ichigo blinked in confusion, "Why not?"

"I don't have one." Yoruichi said simply, but the statement itself just let him baffled.

"Bwuh? What do you mean you don't have a Zanpakutō?" He asked her incredulously.

She stretched out, enjoying the way his eyes ate her up and he practically forgot what they were discussing, "Exactly what I said." She stood straight, "I had one in the past, but I no longer do."

He winced, "I…I'm sorry?"

She chuckled and shook her head, "It's not something to feel pity for. It just is." She smiled at him.

"I… don't get it?" Ichigo frowned. "Your Zanpakutō is part of your soul. Part of who you are. How can losing it not be awful?"

"It's not something I can really give you the details of. Doing so would defeat the purpose. Just know that if you ever reach that point on your own… you'll know what I mean." Yoruichi told him softly.

A bell started to ring, drawing their attention, "That time already, huh?" He let out a groan as he put the conversation from his mind, "Shit, I definitely love sparring with you the most, but I guess time's up." He drooped, "It's Kidō time."

"What's wrong with Kidō?" Yoruichi looked confused.

"I suck at it." He deadpanned, which got her to chuckle.

"Well, what have they had you start with?" Yoruichi took another sip, "They have been smart enough to start you off with lightning-based spells, right?"

"Duh." Ichigo chuckled, "Those are the only ones I'm actually any good at." He grinned mischievously, "I think they regretted teaching me #88. It's even stronger than my basic Cero."

Now she looked even more confused, "It makes no sense for you to be capable of casting one that high in rank and not be capable of casting others. Not even your lightning affinity is enough of an explanation for that. Kidō that advanced take legitimate talent. If you don't have talent, even a Shakkahō will usually just blow up in your face."

"Beats me." Ichigo shrugged.

Yoruichi stared at him for a few moments, before a small smirk crossed her lips, "You know what? Stay right there, Berry-kun. I'll be right back." She vanished, making Ichigo wonder what she was up to. He quickly had his answer a few minutes later, as she reappeared with a smirking Rangiku.

"Slight fear." Ichigo said, sweating a little.

"Well, I'm thinking that maybe you just don't have enough motivation, Ichigo." Yoruichi's catlike smirk was even bigger than Rangiku's. "So, how's this? I asked Tessai which Kidō he's already tried to teach you, so if you manage to successfully cast, say, Bakudō #12. Hiroi Byōbu before the end of the day, Rangiku and I will show you our tits."

Steam erupted from Ichigo's nose. "You two…"

Rangiku was giggling. Not like he wasn't going to see them eventually anyway, but this seemed like a fun way to do it. "What do you think, Ichi-kun?" She teasingly pulled on the open hem of her school shirt with her thumb.

Ichigo promptly sat down, reviewing the incantation, "Bare walls, expand and divide. Ten shields holding formation! Bakudō #12. Hiroi Byōbu!" He held his palms straight out in front of him. Rather than forming an expanding, light blue barrier to block attacks, the air in front of him crackled with electricity and promptly exploded. "Gah! Damn it!" Ichigo brushed the soot off his face with irritation. "That's all I usually get."

"Again." Yoruichi got behind him and put a hand on his shoulder, closing her eyes and reaching out with her own Reiryoku.

"You can do it, Ichi-kun!" Rangiku cheered, wishing that they weren't keeping their charade going even inside safe areas. She longed to actually be sparring with Ichigo and helping to teach him.

Ichigo sighed, "Bare walls, expand and divide. Ten shields holding formation! Bakudō #12. Hiroi Byōbu!" He tried it again, yielding the exact same result.

"I want you to switch between that one and Byakurai." Yoruichi commanded.

"Hadō #4: Byakurai!" Ichigo chanted as Yoruichi carefully examined his Reiatsu. She was pretty glad she already had her eyes shut as the light was extremely bright.

"Hmmm… again." She already thought she had figured out his problem, but wanted more data just to be sure. She had Ichigo cycle through a few spells, trying to match rank to rank as closely as possible and seeing what Ichigo's Reiryoku was doing. The final two spells she tried were Hiryū Gekizoku Shinten Raihō and Dankū. She had to use her own Dankū to protect them from the explosion from Ichigo's. And then just to be doubly sure, she had him blast a Cero out as well. "Okay, I'm pretty sure I know what your problem is, and boy do you have your work cut out for you."

"Aww, too bad, Ichi-kun. Looks like you're not seeing the girls after all." Rangiku taunted, hefting her breasts just a bit and letting them bounce.

Again, Ichigo breathed steam from his nose, "What's the matter then?"

"Your Reiryoku naturally likes to turn into lightning." Yoruichi said simply.

Rangiku's eyes widened, "Oh… yeah, that's pretty bad." She winced, now feeling bad for getting his hopes up.

"What do you mean?" Ichigo asked, confused.

"Exactly what I said." Yoruichi said, "All Kidō spells use neutral Reiryoku, and it is the spell that transforms it into the spell's components through heuristics such as the Incantation." She pointed at him, "You on the other hand, naturally have your Reiryoku start electrifying the second you start to actually do anything with it."

Ichigo gaped, "Are you serious? Even when I'm using High-Speed Regeneration or my Quincy abilities?"

"Let's see." She put her hand on his back as he activated Blut Vene and Arterie. "Ayep. Same deal."

"How about now?" He asked as he started trying to draw in Reishi from the atmosphere with his Quincy abilities. He fidgeted from the strain, and started to sweat. But like always, he struggled to do so. As if something was preventing him from drawing it in. It was almost slippery.

"I can feel you trying, but it's not working. And it definitely isn't because of the lightning issue." Yoruichi replied, taking her hand off his back.

Ichigo growled, and stopped trying to draw in the Reishi. "Well, I'm nothing if not stubborn." He growled out, before closing his eyes and feeling out his Reiatsu. He didn't quite try to fall into Jinzen, but it was a meditative process, 'You're not fucking with anything, are you Thor?'

'And miss out on the show? Fuck you, boy.' Came his Zanpakutō's reply.

Ichigo almost smiled, before he started creating a Bala. Focusing on his Reiryoku the way he was, he felt what Yoruichi was explaining when he tried #12 again. "Fuck. This is going to take a while." He grunted as he wiped off the soot.

"Well, you have a couple hours." Yoruichi chuckled, mussing up his hair. "Surprise us, lover boy."

"Here's some incentive." Rangiku kneeled behind him and grabbed his chin, turning his head and laying a deep kiss on him. "Hehe, there's more where that came from, but only for good boys who cast a successful Kidō~" She sang teasingly as she got up.

"Fucking shitty Reiryoku." Ichigo grunted, and began fighting with his Reiryoku to successfully cast a spell.

Rangiku laughed, "Come on, Yoruichi-chan. Let's go have some girl-talk. We never really got to know each other before your exile."

"Sounds like fun." Yoruichi looped her arm around Rangiku's, "Later, lover boy!"

…

"So, then he comes in, dressed only in a white toga and looking plastered out of his skull, right?" Rangiku was giggling, but Yoruichi was straight-up cackling. "And I feel bad because I don't like him that way, and he's just trying so hard to get me interested that he falls for this trap Iba laid for him. And he just starts dancing. Horribly." She burst into renewed laughter, "And-and starts singing too."

"AHAHAHAHA!" Yoruichi was just imagining it, placing one of her own old suiters in this 'Hisagi's' place.

"And it's just so off key and he has zero flow. So, he's trying to be sexy for me and it's all I can do to keep from bursting into laughter." Rangiku wiped the tears away, "And then he just goes and slips, bashes his head into the next table over, spills all of the two Squad 11 member's sake, and just lays there, face-down, ass up, and completely unconscious."

"WAHAHAHAHA!" Yoruichi almost flipped her chair over as she busted a gut, "P-Please tell me you got pictures!"

"We did!" Rangiku pouted, "But Isane-chan thought it was way too mean and destroyed them once we were all drunk too."

"Awwww." Yoruichi wiped a few tears away, "Man, looks like I left Soul Society at a good time. Seems like the quality of men fell through the gutter."

"Yeah…" Rangiku sighed, "Ikkaku was fun for a night, but we don't match at all. Kyoraku's got that dad vibe and that ain't for me. Captain Shiba was even lazier than me, and that was saying something. Tōshirō is… too young, and brother-zoned on top of it." She sighed, 'And the less said about Gin, the better.' She thought to herself bitterly. "I've honestly had more fun and lasting relationships with the girls. Had a fling with Nemu and Isane one night. Would have loved to continue it, but Isane is just too damn shy and Mayuri is a fucking creep."

Yoruichi shuddered, "Don't have to tell me twice."

"What about you?"

"Never really worked out here either." Yoruichi shrugged, "Kisuke and I could have had something I guess, but he was always more worried about his work. We're always going to be friends, but a relationship? At this point, that's a hell no. Just about brother-zoned too. Kensei was fun, but he's just too bitter now. I would have loved being with my Little Bee, but she was always too nervous and practically worshipped me. Not a good dynamic in a relationship. Etc. Etc."

Rangiku giggled, "Honestly, I can't believe how lucky I was to actually find Ichigo." She leered, "Oh yes, Mama likes."

"Mama likes threesomes too apparently." Yoruichi wiggled her eyebrows, "Maybe I'll take you two for a test drive." Rangiku actually blushed a little at that, getting another giggle out of Yoruichi.

But before the conversation could go on, Ichigo arrived. "Well, you two look like you're having fun." He smiled at them.

"Yup! Just telling a few stories." Rangiku winked at him.

"Looks like lover boy is back!" Yoruichi smirked at him, "Weeeell?"

Ichigo smirked back at her, "Bare walls, expand and divide. Ten shields holding formation! Bakudō #12: Hiroi Byōbu!" Instantly, a blue barrier formed in front of him, before dividing out into equally sized mirrors that half surrounded the two women.

"You did it!" Rangiku leapt out of her chair and Ichigo quickly dispersed his Bakudō to catch her in a hug. "I'm so proud." She purred as she kissed him.

"Hahaha! Well, I'll be! I honestly didn't think you'd get it any time soon, after what I felt." Yoruichi teased, "But a deal is a deal~"

"That's right!" Rangiku backed away, already undoing one of the buttons on her shirt. "Tadaaaa~" She pulled her shirt open, and Ichigo feasted his eyes on her breasts for the first time. Her areolas were surprisingly pale, almost blending in with her skin-tone. They were also fairly puffy, and the nipples themselves were inverted. Ichigo started to drool a little, and his hands twitched up, "Ah, ah, ah!" She wagged her finger at him, "No touching, Berry-chan." Yet.

"Oooh, those are nice~!" Yoruichi chuckled, before hooking her thumbs into her leotard and pulling them towards the middle, revealing her own pair.

Ichigo's eyes nearly popped out as he noticed something he hadn't before, "They're pierced!"

"Oh, I hadn't noticed either!" Rangiku giggled, "How do they feel?"

"Mhm, they make me pretty sensitive." Yoruichi reached up and squeezed one lightly, and that was enough for a small moan to squeeze out of her throat, "I've also got a tattoo." She pulled down her pants, revealing that she was wearing the tiny leotard too. On the outside of her left thigh was a large tribal design.

"Mrgh!" Ichigo hunched over, pinching his nose, and feeling a little lightheaded.

"Critical hit!" Rangiku laughed as she buttoned back up.

"I've died and gone to heaven." Ichigo mumbled. Both women burst out laughing.

-]|[-

As the month progressed, the tension started to ratchet up a bit. Rangiku knew she was taking on a huge risk regarding her role in their operation, but she trusted her friends, and especially Ichigo to do their part. So, she did what she did best, and decided to have as much fun as possible. Which led both her and Yoruichi to participate in the ridiculous shenanigans that he was seeing.

"Bohahahaha!" The two women (one in full troll mode, knowing Ichigo hated it) performed a strange laugh. It was something most of the people around them were doing, and even Sado had his arms in that weird 'crossed arms' pose.

Ichigo let out a sigh, both embarrassed to be seen with them and very smug over the fact that they were on his arms when they weren't being idiots. Dozens of other guys in the crowd had already given him dirty looks. "Are you two serious right now?" He groaned, "Bad enough Yuzu and Dad still like this dumb show…"

"I don't." Yoruichi had her cheshire cat grin on her face, "I just like fucking with you." He deadpanned at her.

"Aw, come on, Berry-kun." Rangiku leaned on him, "What's so bad about it?"

"I've always hated these kinds of things." He scowled, "I might have liked them before mom died, but that was because I couldn't tell ghosts from the living. After that, even before I started to train for real, I knew that ghosts and stuff existed. But I also knew damn well most people couldn't see them or interact with them. So, every time I read some horoscope nonsense or saw shows like these, I figured it was just a band of con artists scamming gullible people of their money." His scowl got deeper, "And now that I know about the real world, I know that most of these people are charlatans."

"Ah." Yoruichi sighed, "Yeah, I suppose I can see that turning you off. Shit, I kinda feel like a bitch now." And her smirk was back, "Oh well, I'll just have to make it up to you later."

Ichigo rolled his eyes, 'Saw that coming.' He drawled in his head, a reluctant smirk on his face too, "Also, what the hell is with that outfit? Why are you wearing a wig?"

Indeed, Yoruichi looked very unlike her usual self. She had a black wig on that completely changed her hairstyle, and her eyes were covered with sunglasses. Her clothes were still flattering, but pretty generic. Maybe even bimbo-fied if Ichigo was being uncharitable. Very much unlike her usual style. "These are exactly the kinds of broadcasts Soul Society would keep an eye on." Yoruichi replied, "We're keeping me hidden because I'm our biggest surprise, other than you. Don't want to be accidentally caught on camera."

"Wait, why am I not disguised then?" Rangiku shot a look at her.

"We both know it's soon going to be time." Yoruichi said softly, "It's been a month and a half. If they're not already looking for you, they will be soon."

Rangiku sighed, "Ugh, you're right." She snuggled into Ichigo, "Still, more time would be better."

"Relax." Ichigo said, "As long as we don't get caught on camera, there shouldn't be any trouble."

"Aaaand you jinxed it." Yoruichi deadpanned, while Rangiku just stared at him in disbelief.

"I don't believe in jinxes." Ichigo declared, pulling both women closer, "Let's just watch this shit. It's starting." And then Ichigo's face started to sag as Don Kanoji himself showed up and started fucking with a Demi-Hollow's hole. None of them had even known it was there before a cameraman had crossed a threshold! Not even the experienced Shinigami! "You've got to be kidding me."

"I dOn'T bElIEvE iN JInxEs!" Yoruichi said in her best mocking tone.

"Seriously Berry-kun, are you an idiot?" Rangiku pinched him.

"Oh, fuck you both." Ichigo switched into soul form and jumped into the fray.

"Fuck us yourself, coward!" He almost fell over at their call.

The ensuing fight was over quick, and Ichigo honestly spent most of it pounding how big of an idiot he was into Kanoji's head instead of just finishing the new Hollow off.

On a side note, the episode had the highest ratings ever. Over half of Japan tuned in once the explosions started going off and shattering concrete rained on the streets below.

Once it was over and Kanoji proclaimed victory over the evil spirit (with Ichigo actually rather surprised that the guy was actually pretty decent and wasn't a con artist), they all made their way home.

"Ah, what a relief!" Yoruichi had glitched as soon as they were away from the cameras and appeared wearing her usual clothes, "I hate shitty disguises, but it was pretty short notice." They all piled into Ichigo's room and busted out the drinks. "You sure know your stuff, Ran-chan." She teased Rangiku, "This is a pretty good brand."

"It was the closest I could find to my favorite up in Soul Society." Rangiku grinned cheerfully, "Of course, this lout doesn't seem to have a good tongue." She eyed the bottle of mead in Ichigo's hand. Definitely not her favorite.

"Shall I show you otherwise?" Ichigo eyed her back smugly, and Rangiku let out a bark of laughter.

"Oooh, getting cocky are we, my strawberry?" Rangiku teased, watching as he scowled again.

"Hey, Ichi." Yoruichi drew his attention, "Let me give it a try. I've never had mead." She caught the bottle without spilling a drop and took a cautious sip. She blinked, "Huh, this is pretty good. It's got some spice to it." She took another sip, "Lower alcohol content though."

Rangiku blinked, and grabbed the bottle from Yoruichi, "Huh, yeah, this one is a lot better than that other one I tried."

"Told you that the first one wasn't great." Ichigo chuckled, "I'd go with you and get Thor's advice, but I'd get carded and we'd get kicked out."

"We'll just get Urahara to make you a booze ID then." Rangiku laughed, "No one would tell the difference."

"Nah." He waved her off, "I only drink with you two anyway, and only really do it because you enjoy it. I can do with or without. Not like it does much to me." Yoruichi and Rangiku smiled at him, Rangiku much more sweetly. "So, you girls must have some stories?"

Yoruichi started to giggle, "Sure do. Why don't I tell you about the time I tried to set my Little Bee up on a date…"

It didn't take long before his room was filled with laughter, "Oh lord, you tried to set her up with Hat-n-Clogs?"

Rangiku had flopped onto the bed, a rosy blush already forming on her cheeks, "I've known him for just over a month and I can see how bad of an idea that was. He's not exactly a romantic."

"Yeah, honestly, half of me was hoping it would work out, but the other half was just hoping it would be fun." Yoruichi put a hand on her forehead, "Next time I saw them, Soi-Fon's hair was lime green and Kisuke was covered in her stings. I'm pretty sure they would still be there today if she could keep them up that long."

The three continued chatting into the night, with Ichigo eventually bringing Yoruichi to the spare room, before dropping into bed with Rangiku. Said purple-haired cat would be almost annoyed at his nobility when she woke up.

-]|[-

"FINALLY!" Rangiku threw her mechanical pencil into the air as their final class let out for the day. She didn't notice the pencil embed itself into the ceiling, though several other people did. Very soon it would be their vacation and she was looking forward to spending all of it with Ichigo. Plus, she was actually looking forward to seeing if she passed, because Ichigo had promised her a massage if she did.

"I'm so dead!" Keigo cried into his desk as Mizuiro went around passing back some tests.

"Screwed the pooch? Same." The black-haired boy said.

"Don't worry. One bad score isn't a ticket to cashier alley." Ichigo chuckled, throwing an arm around Rangiku's shoulders. Off to the side, Chizuru steamed.

Keigo cried harder, "Thanks Ichigo! You know just what to say! We morons can wallow in our misery together!"

Rangiku let out a snort, "You really haven't been paying attention, have you?"

"Yeah, you should wait to see the midterm rankings." Mizuiro agreed.

"What the heck are you talking about? Only the top fifty get their names on the rankings. Why would Ichigo be-" He choked. "NINTH?! WHAT THE HELL, ICHIGO?!"

Ichigo shrugged, "Someone had to make sure Rangiku would at least pass."

"Hey!" Rangiku play-whined.

"S-So all those times I called you to hang out and you said no! How dare you Ichigo!" Keigo got fired up, "You were just skiving off to go study!" He sounded utterly disgusted.

Ichigo smirked at his friend, "Well, I had a good incentive, maidenless."

Keigo turned into glass and shattered. Mizuiro winced, "Damn Ichigo, you're ruthless."

"Yup." Ichigo snarked, before Mizuiro handed Rangiku her test. Her eyes lit up. "Hey, I did it Ichi!" She waved it under his nose. "I win, and I want my prize!"

"Good job, Ran-chan." Ichigo side-hugged her a bit tighter.

"Wh-what's the prize?" Keigo asked, having picked himself up.

Ichigo's response would put him back into catatonia, "More my prize… cuz I get to give her a massage." Several nosebleeds erupted in the classroom. "Later!" He and Rangiku waved over their shoulders as they left before Ichigo twitched. He let out a sigh, "God damn it." Rangiku looked confused for a second, before her Soul Pager went off.

Her head dropped. "For fucks sake! I want my massage!" She whined as Ichigo picked her up and the two vanished in a rumble of thunder.

…

"Where the hell is it?" Ichigo griped, "Did the fucking thing go back to Hueco Mundo?"

"This thing must be broken." Rangiku glared at her pager. Both of them ignored the trembling spirit with a chunk of flesh missing from under his armpit, showing his ribs.

The spirit started to blubber, and pissed off Ichigo and Rangiku when he revealed that he had his eyes closed the entire time, and hadn't seen what happened to the Hollow after it showed up. Ichigo practically threw his Zanpakutō at him just to get him to shut up. The Konsō'd ghost vanished, and the two left before the butterfly had even left the area.

-]|[-

Over the next few days, Ichigo and Rangiku started to get irritated as Hollow after Hollow simply vanished before they could actually take care of them. It got to the point where, when interrupted having fun with Rangiku or getting to know Yoruichi, Ichigo would just pull out his cannon and fire it from high up in the air. He had decided to and succeeded in separating his cross from his Zanpakutō, since he wanted to wear his mother's memento. Not that it looked much like her cross, nowadays. It looked more like lightning formed into metal and had an iridescent shine to it.

Orihime, Tatsuki, and Sado experienced the same strange phenomenon and were getting rather irritated. They were getting Hollows occasionally, however, making Ichigo and Rangiku think there was something off about the situation.

This time though, the two were at the scene, "That's twice today. What the hell is happening?" Ichigo growled.

"If it wasn't for you sensing them, I'd think this piece of junk was broken!" Rangiku was very close to throwing her phone on the ground.

"How ugly." A voice sounded off behind them, and they whipped around. "Good evening, Kurosaki-san. Matsumoto-san."

"Ishida." Ichigo's eyebrow twitched, "What the hell are you wearing?"

"Why, my uniform, of course." Ishida said, "You can see spirits, can't you?"

"Cut the crap." Ichigo crossed his arms, "I know you're a Quincy. Don't tell me you're the reason these Hollows have been disappearing."

"That's right." Ishida confirmed, despite being surprised at Ichigo's knowledge, "In fact, here comes one now." Before Ichigo could react, he had formed his bow and fired off an arrow.

"Shit!" Ichigo whipped around and pointed his fingers, "Hadō #4: Byakurai!" His bolt of lightning raced off, quickly overtaking the arrow, and shattering the Hollow's mask before Ishida could kill it. "You bastard." He growled at the surprised boy, before stomping up to him, "What the fuck is your problem, Ishida?!"

"Hmm, I see you're aware of what Quincy arrows do to Hollows." He said as if he hadn't been about to annihilate who knew how many souls.

"Yes, I do." Ichigo growled out, "And clearly you do, too! If I catch you hunting Hollows again, I'll fucking end you."

"What do you care about what happens to-" Ishida started to ask, before Ichigo grabbed him by his lapels and hauled him up and slammed him into the wall they were standing besides, "Grgh! You brute!"

"My mother was killed and eaten by a Hollow." Ichigo snarled out at him, making Ishida's eyes widen, "If Grand Fisher had been one of the Hollows you destroyed, then you also would have destroyed her soul forever, you fucking psychopath!" He dropped the skinny boy and backed away while reaching for his neck. Ishida's eyes bugged out as he saw the defiled cross. Light flashed, and Ichigo's cannon was now in his face, "If I catch you again, I'll blow your fucking arm off." He said coldly, staring at the shell-shocked Ishida.

"Y-you- What are you?! What have you done to that Quincy Cross?! What is this weapon?!" Ishida looked horrified.

"What's wrong, you mysterious asshole? You were having so much fun making us scratch our heads for the past few days." Ichigo shot back, before hefting his cannon over his shoulder, "Newsflash, cousin, you're not the only Quincy in this town."

"What?!" All the color had vanished from Ishida's face.

Ichigo chuckled as he put his weapon away, "You didn't even know. And here I thought you were just an aloof bastard."

"To be fair," Rangiku patted him on the shoulder, "You didn't know either until last month."

"Yeah, but this bastard clearly has better senses than I did." Ichigo grunted, before glaring at Ishida again, "I'll say it again, cousin. Stay out of our way. Unless you can figure out how to make that thing purify instead of annihilating, you have no business hunting Hollows." He vanished with Rangiku in a burst of Sonido.

Ishida's teeth ground inside his jaw, and he vanished in his own Hirenkyaku. He had questions and his father better have answers.

-]|[-

"RYŪKEN!" The elder Quincy held back an irritated sigh as his son's voice rang in his ears.

"Is that any way to address your father, Uryū?" Ryūken drawled as he looked up from his paperwork to stare dimly at his son.

"Who in the world is Kurosaki Ichigo?!" Uryū practically spat at him, "And why does he have Quincy powers?! Why did I never know I had a cousin?!"

'Oh, it's going to be one of those days.' Ryūken only didn't let out a despondent sigh because that would have been unbecoming, "In order: he is the son of Kurosaki Masaki, a woman you never got to meet. She was the last of the Kurosaki line of the Echt Quincy prior to an incident many years ago, which rendered her impure in the eyes of many. She had been fostering here, but left forever after that and I had little to no contact with her since. Which also answers your second question."

"But he also has Shinigami powers!" Uryū clenched his fists on his father's desk, "How is this possible?!"

"Am I going to have to explain reproduction to my high-school-aged son?" Ryūken asked dryly.

Uryū flushed, "You're hilarious." He said flatly, "…His father was a Shinigami." He deduced.

"Congratulations." Ryūken said simply, "And I told you. I had little to no contact with Masaki after she left our home to avoid being expelled by mother. She never came to visit with her children either before her death." He didn't quite glare at Uryū, but his gaze was intense, "All in an effort to give their children normal lives. To keep them away from the afterlife and all that it entails. Something I clearly should have done with you. It was a mistake to allow my father to rot your brain with stories of Quincy."

"Even now…" Uryū grit his teeth, "While he walks around with that… defiled cross and weapon, you still mock the pride of the Quincy?"

"There is nothing to mock." Ryūken turned away and went back to his paperwork, "I told you Uryū. Let the dead focus on the dead. Ask the millions of annihilated souls we Quincy destroyed what our pride is worth."

Uryū grit his teeth and turned away. He was almost at the door when something hit him like a punch. He whirled around, "'We' Quincy?"

Ryūken's eyes turned up, "I told you once, didn't I? I have no interest, and you have no talent." He turned back to his paperwork, "This conversation is over. And Uryū… do not do something foolish in pursuit of your worthless pride."

His only response was the slamming of his office door. He finally allowed that sigh to escape him as he got up and walked over to his cabinet. Some brandy sounded fantastic right about now.

Uryū had entered his father's office for answers, and had left with even more questions than he had before. But more importantly, rather than cooling his head, his poor relationship with his father and Ryūken's abrasive words had done the exact opposite. Uryū knew he wasn't a match for Ichigo right now. Even just a cursory examination upon seeing his Byakurai told him that much. And so, he decided to do something ill advised.

-]|[-

The next day, Uryū wasn't in class. Ichigo wasn't all that surprised, and when he told his friends what had been going on with the disappearing Hollows, they had been horrified. Uryū was actually quite fortunate that he was absent because he would definitely have had his nose busted up by Tatsuki. The group put it from their minds, thinking Uryū had learned his lesson.

But then he was absent the next day as well. And the next. The only reason his grades didn't slip was that the semester was practically over already. And once it ended, the group had forgotten him entirely.

Seven days after their spring semester had ended, that peace came to a crashing halt. "A Hollow vanished again?!" Ichigo had just gotten up to go take care of it (since it was on the other side of town, and he was the fastest still) when it disappeared from his senses. He clenched his fist, "Ishida." He growled out.

"That's right." There Uryū was, in full Quincy regalia again. Ichigo's sharp eyes caught something different though. A glove encased Uryū's right hand. It was white with some blue accents. Ichigo vanished in a rumble of thunder, aiming to grab Ishida by the lapels again, only he was surprised to see Uryū was gone. In fact, the dark-blue haired boy had traded places with him, and was now standing among Ichigo's friends. "Are you surprised, Kurosaki? I-"

Ichigo's hand clamped around Uryū's mouth with a hard grip, cutting off the rest of his words. Uryū's eyes bulged in shock as Ichigo literally lifted him off the floor with one hand. "Congratulations." Ichigo said dryly, "You can out-speed my slowest Sonido." He brought his face closer, "Did you expect ten fucking days to catch you up?" He threw Uryū back, and the boy barely managed to catch his feet. "You wanted my attention. You got it. What the fuck do you want?"

Despite the cold sweat that had suddenly risen on the back of his neck, Uryū wouldn't be deterred. "I despise you and your kind, Kurosaki." He snarled, "You worthless Shinigami-"

"Yes, yes, we know." Tatsuki said, "It's been two-hundred years."

"Ishida-kun, not even your grandparents would have been around when the Quincy were killed." Orihime said sadly, "Isn't it-"

"This has nothing to do with that." Ishida cut her off, and all of them blinked in surprise, "That's nothing more than an old story my grandfather told me when I was young. I don't care about it at all." He tilted his head, "Back then, I even thought the Shinigami were in the right. I'm not so sentimental that I'd hold that against you."

"Then…why?" Rangiku looked at him in total befuddlement.

"You idiot." Ichigo growled, "You even agreed that it had to happen! If that's the case, why the fuck are you killing Hollows now?!"

"Because you Shinigami never do your jobs!" Ishida yelled back at him, "There's only one Shinigami in this entire city, other than you. You're all slow, fat, and lazy and you let good people die who could have been saved!" Reiraku formed around him, "The Shinigami before Matsumoto-san arrived couldn't even do this! He relied on that useless phone to give him messages that Hollows were incoming! And the one before him too! It's a pattern that my grandfather saw repeated over dozens of Shinigami throughout his life! The number of times I had to sense innocent men, women, and children die only for the Shinigami to arrive sometimes minutes late was detestable!"

Ichigo's anger had cooled, and now he stared stone-faced at Uryū. Even Tatsuki had lost her outright hostility, and Orihime looked like she was going to tear up, "Ishida-kun…" She mumbled.

"But you." Ishida glared at Ichigo, "At the very least, you do a good job. You're quick. You kill them efficiently. It's little wonder that you're not a real Shinigami, because if you were, you'd be as useless as the rest of them. I could at least stomach your presence." He looked a little deranged in his anger now, "Until I saw this!" The ribbons from all of them rose up. Pink from Rangiku, denoting her lost powers. Swirling red, white, and black from Ichigo. His ribbon looked almost alive. Predominantly dark grey from Sado, Tatsuki, and Orihime, though with splotches of red littered throughout it. "Not long after we began our first year, I could see your out-of-control power affecting our peers. Infecting them. And now to find out that you're a Quincy too? I won't accept this!" He held up his gloved fist, "I'm here to challenge you to a duel, and prove once and for all that you're not needed here."

"You almost had me feeling bad for you, Ishida." Ichigo sighed, "Fine then. And when you lose, I want your word that you'll put that bow away until you either learn to make it purify or you die."

"When I win, you'll give up that abomination so I can destroy it, and never use your Shinigami powers again." He glared at Ichigo's chest where he knew his cross was.

Ichigo rolled his eyes, "Jeez, and here I was thinking you could join the group after I dislodged the stick from your ass, but apparently it's welded in there." He pulled on the chain on his neck to reveal his cross, "Mine purifies Hollows. Something you should be striving for. But apparently you're a massive fucking hypocrite. You say you agree with what the Shinigami did, but then go right out and do it yourself and cry when someone else does it better."

That struck a nerve, "The time for talk is over. Let's get this started." He pulled a small tablet out of his pocket and snapped it.

Ichigo stiffened as the scent drifted by him, "What is that?" He growled, feeling a little hot under the collar, "What have you done, Ishida?"

"That was Hollow Bait." Uryū replied nonchalantly, and all of their eyes bulged from their skulls in horror. "It's simple. Whoever kills the most of them will win."

"ARE YOU INSANE?!" Rangiku, Orihime, and Tatsuki yelled in shock before Rangiku's Soul Pager started going off over and over and over and over again. It started going off non-stop, and already she could see dozens of Hollows on the display.

"I'm going to kill you." Ichigo said with a dangerous sense of calm, "If a single life is lost today, yours is forfeit."

"Not a single soul will die on my watch." Ishida vowed, "So don't blame me for your lack of skill." He vanished with Hirenkyaku.

"Rangiku, Orihime, find my sisters and make sure they don't get overwhelmed. Tatsuki, Chad, you're with me. I almost wish school was still in session because our classmates would be concentrated there. Hunt and destroy."

"For fuck's sake. If you don't kill him I'm breaking his arms." Tatsuki groaned, "Chad, take the shopping mall. I'll take Karakura park."

"No, both of you take the shopping mall. I can't sense anyone with any Reiatsu at all at the park." Ichigo said, his Pesquisa giving him the information. "But I can sense at least six over at the mall. We'll just have to hope the Hollows leave the park alone. Move it!"

"Right." Sado vanished with his own high-speed movement technique. Tatsuki soon followed.

"Orihime, let's go!" Rangiku said, before hurrying to Ichigo and pecking him on the lips, "We'll need a lot of alone time when this is over." She said softly, knowing what this meant. He nodded, even more anger engulfing him.

"Ichigo…" Orihime said, "I… I feel bad for Uryū. And I feel even worse about this." Her eyes hardened, "Break his nose for me." She ran off with Rangiku, as the redhead was still putting on her charade of being weakened by Urahara's 'special' Gigai.

Ichigo leapt into the air, flinging himself from Garganta to Garganta as he wiped out the Hollows invading his town.

-]|[-

Yuzu and Karin were both together thankfully when Karin flinched. School was out, so they were hanging out with some of their classmates for the day. "Karin-chan, what's wrong?" Her twin asked quizzically.

"I-I don't know." Karin bit her knuckle, "But I just got a chill down my spine. Something's wrong." She mumbled back, trying to keep their friends from overhearing.

Yuzu's heart started to beat a little faster, "Do you think it's a Hollow?"

"I damn well hope not." Karin mumbled out, before their friends noticed.

"Hey, what's going on, you two?" Midoriko walked up to them, "Is everything okay?"

Yuzu started patting her stomach, "My tummy started to hurt." She put on a show of whining, "I think it's best if we head home."

"Y-yeah." Karin said, "I'll take you, Yuzu. After all, if you're not cooking then we'll have to get goat-chin to do it."

"Aww, but today's the only day that we can hang out!" Midoriko exclaimed, "Are you sure it hurts that much, Yuzu-chan?" Whatever response Yuzu was going to give was cut off by a tremendous bang and an explosion of air that blew the three of them over. Some of the girls with them screamed as they fell over, and Midoriko yelled out, "What was that?! What exploded?!"

"Shit…" Karin hissed as she got up, Yuzu just as wary next to her.

"W-what's that haze?" One of the other girls pointed at the salamander-like Hollow before them, "I-It looks like something's there! What is it?"

'Oh, crap!' Yuzu and Karin gasped, 'If they're starting to see… damn it, Ichi-nii! Does your Reiatsu blanket the whole town?! We can't leave them alone!'

"RAAAAAAGGGGHHHH!" Yuzu and Karin flinched as the Hollow roared at them, but the other girls couldn't hear it.

Yuzu swallowed, "I-It's a small one. We can handle this, right Karin-chan?"

"You bet." Karin projected confidence onto her twin, knowing the other girl would need it.

"What's going on?" Midoriko took a step back as she realized something unseen was stalking towards them, "What's there?!" She yelled, picking up and throwing a rock, and gasping as it hit something in midair.

"STAY BEHIND US!" Karin yelled out, before raising her hand, "Hadō #4: Byakurai!" She yelled out, and to the shock of the girls behind her, a lightning bolt blasted out and visibly struck something. All the girls behind her saw it, which meant they definitely had enough Reiryoku to attract Hollows if one got close enough. "E-eh?" Karin gaped as her bolt pierced through the Hollow's mask and it instantly started disintegrating. "…" She and Yuzu stared at the vacant space where the Hollow had been standing. "…The fuck?" Karin tilted her head to the side.

"That was so easy!" Yuzu looked shocked, "You took it out in one hit!"

"Took WHAT out?!" Midoriko yelled at them, "Was that magic?!" She had stars in her eyes, which was mirrored by the other girls with her.

"Shit…" Karin muttered under her breath, wondering if there was even any point in trying to wipe their memories if they could see it. She opened her mouth, then promptly ate dirt as Yuzu tackled her off her feet. "What the hell, Yuzu?!"

"Bright lights. Threads bound. The autumn is gathered! Bakudō #4: Hainawa!" Yuzu rolled off of her and threw the crackling rope around the spider-like Hollow that had snuck up on them. The audience gasped as the rope wrapped around something they couldn't see as Yuzu dug in her heels to try to keep it still. "Hurry, Karin!"

Karin shot to her feet and switched to Soul Form, becoming nothing more than another haze to her friends, much to their shock. She drew her Asauchi and yelled as she jumped far farther than she normally could and sliced the Hollow's mask in half. Yuzu yelped as the rope now had nothing to hold on to and she fell back. Karin switched back into human form, though she kept her Asauchi in hand, "What the hell? How did two come near us?"

"W-what's going on?!" One of the girls started to cry, "Wh-what's happening?!"

"I don't know!" Karin said as she switched back to human, though she kept her Zanpakutō in hand, "I think we need to run." She looked at Yuzu, "And find Ichi-nii or Goat-chin. Something is wrong!"

And as three more Hollows crashed into the park, Karin felt her sweat turn icy cold. She held her Asauchi in an overly tight grip, and it shivered before her.

It was Yuzu who kept it together, "GET BETWEEN US!" She yelled at her 'normal' friends, and it was so out of character that the girls hurried to get in between her and Karin. Yuzu's heart was hammering in her chest as she shakily raised her hands in preparation. "Karin-chan, you better hurry up with yours. Disintegrate, you black dog of Rondanini! Look upon yourself with horror and tear out your own throat! Bakudō #9: Hōrin!" Both of her hands were engulfed with the crackling orange ropes, which she threw at one of the two Hollows.

The Hollow roared as it was wrapped up and Yuzu grunted as she tried to move it. She didn't have nearly enough physical strength to do so though, so she ended up just dragging her feet in the dirt and straining her arms, "T-Too strong!" She abandoned her spell as the other Hollow jumped at her. She panicked and shouted out, "Bakudō #12: Hiroi Byōbu!" The shield formed in front of her, but before it could expand out, the Hollow's fist crashed into it. It flashed before shattering, and the punch that hit Yuzu was greatly weakened but still enough to throw her off her feet and send her barreling into her friends, knocking the whole group down.

"YUZU!" Karin yelled, biting her lip as she backpedaled, "Ye lord! Mask of blood and flesh, all creation, flutter of wings, ye who bears the name of Man! Inferno and pandemonium, the sea barrier surges, march on to the south! Hadō #31: Shakkahō!" The red fireball shot out like it had been fired from a pitching machine. It smashed into her target and blew its mask off, destroying it. She ran back without even checking if it was dead, hurrying to Yuzu, "GET AWAY FROM THEM!" She yelled, slashing down with her Asauchi, and watching as the blade bit into the creature's arm. A fountain of nasty blood burst from the wound and covered her and her sister and friends, making them cry out in shock and disgust. The Hollow roared and reared back, dragging a screaming Karin into the air.

"Karin!" Yuzu yelled, "Hadō #4: Byakurai!" It was the only Hadō she had performed with any measure of success, and likely all due to wanting to feel closer to her brother. Her beam wasn't quite as big but just as bright as Karin's, but it still easily punctured through the mask of the beast.

But there was still one more, and both Karin and Yuzu were drooping with exhaustion. It caught Karin with a roar, and slammed her into the ground. Karin hacked and coughed as the excruciating pain of her ribs breaking hit her all at once.

"Karin!" Yuzu tried to get to her feet, but her vision crossed, and she stumbled. She had expanded far too much Reiryoku and was paying the price. "NO! STAY AWAY FROM HER!" She scrambled on the dirt as the Hollow's jaws descended on her sister. "NOOOOOO!"

The Hollow's head disintegrated as an orange dart of energy smashed into it. Yuzu fell limp onto the dirt as she saw it, crying in relief as her sister was saved. "O-Orihime! R-Rangiku!" She cried out as she tried to stand, "K-Karin-ch-chan is hurt!"

Orihime and Rangiku quickly raced to them and took in the sobbing girls as well as the injured/exhausted Yuzu and Karin. "Sōten Kisshun, I reject!" Orihime yelled out, engulfing Karin in her healing shield. "Rangiku-chan, please bring the rest of them here too." She eyed the other girls, who had varying scuffs, bruises, and dirt all over them.

"Come on, girls. The nice onee-san is here to help." Rangiku said kindly, taking their hands and bringing them over. Yuzu had managed to climb to her feet and was wobbling to Orihime, holding her stomach. She sighed in relief as the healing light hit her.

The other girls were alternating between crying and sighing in relief as the scary things seemed to have gone away. And now they were marveling at Orihime's healing powers. Once they were healed, Karin managed to struggle to her feet and was wobbling as tiredly as Yuzu. Orihime couldn't restore Reiryoku very well, after all.

"You did well, Yuzu-chan. Karin-chan. Let's get you home." Rangiku patted both girls on their heads, "We were racing here as fast as we could. You did a great job for your first time."

"Th-thanks." Karin mumbled, leaning against her.

"O-Only because they were weak." Yuzu mumbled, struggling to stay on her feet. "Wh-what's going on?"

"Never mind that for now. Let's get you girls to safety." Rangiku said, seriousness overtaking her.

"O-Our friends too." Karin's head was drooping, "Can… can almost see…" She managed to get out before she fell asleep and slumped on Rangiku. The older woman quickly gathered her and her twin up.

'Shit.' Rangiku eyed the scared-looking girls, 'If they can almost see Hollows, then the Kikanshinki won't have much effect. Or they'll fight the effects until they remember.' She sighed, "Orihime, can you bring them to the clinic?"

"Of course!" Orihime said, "Come on girls. We'll get you somewhere safe."

"We-we just want to go home." Midoriko was tearing up.

The girl next to her was already crying, "I want mommy!"

Orihime shook her head, "Until the area is safe, you'll have to stay with us." Her shield formed underneath her feet, and levitated her into the air. The girls all gasped. "Come on. Up you come!" She smiled her best smile at the girls and held her hand out.

Midoriko hesitantly grabbed it and stepped onto the shield, "Woah…"

Orihime giggled, "See, isn't it fun?" The other children hurried on, and she and Rangiku quickly made tracks back to the clinic.

-]|[-

Keigo let out a shudder, "Brrr." He held himself, "D-Did anyone else feel that?" He, Mizuiro, Chizuru, and Ryō were at the shopping strip. They had all mostly come for different reasons, but had ended up meeting up by coincidence and decided to form a group, at least for lunch.

Ryō swallowed, "Yeah…" She was looking around nervously.

"Felt like someone just walked on my grave. Brrrr." Chizuru was also looking around, trying to see if she could spot anything that would have given her that feeling.

Mizuiro swallowed heavily, "I… did any of you hear a faint roar?"

Keigo nodded, "M-maybe we should save the rest for a different day, huh?"

And that was when an explosion rang out a couple dozen meters away. They couldn't see it, but they could hear the shattering concrete and the screams of the people. "What was THAT?!" Ryō knocked her chair over in her hurry to get to her feet.

Chizuru grabbed her hand and surprised herself by grabbing Keigo's hand too, "H-Hey, let's not get separated. We need to get out of here."

"S-Shouldn't we bunker down instead?" Mizuiro asked, standing warily as well.

Ryō gasped, "What is that?!" She pointed, and their eyes were all drawn to the top of a building.

"Oh no…" Keigo moaned as he took in the purple mass of tentacles with a white, flexible mask at the top of the building, "I've seen enough hentai to know where this is going."

"Shut up, Asano!" Chizuru shrieked, clenching her hand, and trying to crush his fingers.

"Well now, isn't this interesting?" The sibilant tones of the Hollow Numb Chandelier, "Four little humans who can see me." The bumps at the top of its skull started to bulge grotesquely before they seemingly exploded outwards.

All of them screamed as they hit the floor. The little missiles flew out and shattered windows all across the street. "What the hell was that?!" Keigo yelled as he dared get to up.

They peered out of the smoke, and saw that the Hollow had floated downwards, "Ehehehe! You really can see! And those fast reactions! No regular humans could have dodged those seeds. My, oh my, you four are going to be delicious."

Chizuru moaned, "D-Delicious?!" She started to crab walk away, "Damn it Keigo, this isn't a hentai! It's a damn snuff film!"

"Ehehehe, but before we get to the main course, the meat must be… tenderized." Numb Chandelier laughed as a horde of humans started ambling towards them.

"W-what?! Wh-why is my body moving?!" One of the guys yelled.

"I-I can't stop!" A girl was sobbing hysterically as she was forcibly moved towards them.

"What's wrong with them?!" Ryō yelled, hauling Chizuru to her feet, and trying to find a spot devoid of any bodies to run through. "Damn it, I hate zombies!"

"Ahahaha! That's wrong, little one. They're not dead, even if perhaps they wish they were. They're merely under my command." The Hollow licked her lips, "You see, I don't like fighting. I'm an innocent soul like that." The mocking words made Keigo clench his fists. "So, I just use my little seeds here. They burrow deep and spread their roots, allowing me to take control."

"P-Please, help!" Another of the girls started to reach out to the foursome, terrified tears dripping from her eyes. She was in agony and didn't even know why. She couldn't see the seed in her arm.

Ryō clenched her teeth, and shot a leg out at the girl. "I'm sorry." She was near tears herself as the girl screamed from the shock of being kicked and knocked a fair distance away.

"S-Stay away!" Keigo had stomped on an overturned chair a few times and ripped the thin metal into a makeshift baton to defend himself with.

"Ahahaha! That's right, little meals! Struggle! But I wonder! Do you have the heart for it? Do you have the heart to hurt all these innocent people?" Numb Chandelier chortled, "What will break first, I wonder? Your spirits? Or your bodies?"

One of the guys cried out a helpless, "I'm sorry!" As he tried to punch Keigo in the nose. Keigo had been taking smacks from Ichigo for years though, and managed to dodge it with just a slight exclamation.

"Take this!" He yelled, aiming his chair leg not for the guy, but for the seed. If he broke that, everything would be okay, right?!

The bulb splattered into disgusting purple blood, and the man it was attached to went down screaming in agony. He screamed and writhed on the ground as if Keigo had hit him with a executioner wasp stinger, clenching his arm.

"Oooh, that was a good hit, boy!" Numb Chandelier told the horrified teen, "Pity destroying one of my seeds feels like having your nerves ripped out one. By. One."

The chair leg fell out of the horrified Keigo's limp hand.

"I'm going to be sick." Chizuru looked pale and was trembling like a leaf.

"That's right!" The Hollow cackled, "There's the looks I wanted to see! Don't you agree, boys and girls? The livelier the prey is, the sweeter it is to see the horror in their gazes and agony on their faces!"

The mob surged, and the four teens screamed as they were immediately overwhelmed. All four of them were grabbed and were punched, kicked, and had bits of clothing torn off by hands that were far beyond human strength. "STOP! PLEASE STOP!" Keigo managed to hack out, "D-DON'T HURT THEM!"

"Yes! YES! Scream for me, my little snacks!" The Hollow yelled in rapture, "Oh, how I love this. I think I'll play some more with you before I eat your souls." Numb Chandelier laughed maniacally, "What shall I do, I wonder? How can I make those mouths beg before I finally have you?" She extended tentacles to both Chizuru and Ryō and caressed their bruised faces, "Hmm, I think I know! You four seem like such good friends!" She pulled the tentacles back and had the mob haul them onto the streets and hold them up, "I think you girls should get to have some fun before you die, and allow the boys to taste your virginal bodies!"

Ryō and Chizuru immediately started to struggle and scream as the mob started tearing at their clothes, while Mizuiro and Keigo pleaded with the Hollow for mercy. The purple bumps on her head started to bulge, and then two seeds fired at Keigo and Mizuiro.

And then the four teens vanished, and the seeds struck the already-seeded men and women who had been holding them, "What?!" The Hollow gasped, and looked around.

All four of the near victims were sobbing in confused relief as Sado and Tatsuki put them down. "T-Tatsuki-chan. Sado!" Chizuru was crying her heart out, "Y-You saved us!"

"Of course." Tatsuki said as she straightened up.

"Wh-what was that? What is happening?! What is that thing?" Keigo and Ryō managed to get out through their hysterical breathing. Mizuiro was so traumatized that he wasn't even speaking, having never even been hit before, unlike Chizuru and Ryō.

"Not now." Tatsuki said as she turned to look at the angry Hollow, "Chad, get going. There are others." The words dumped ice down the four near victims' backs, "I've got this."

Sado nodded, and vanished with a whisper of wind. "What?!" Keigo gasped.

"You…" The furious Hollow hissed out, "How dare you ruin my fun?! I ought to-" Tatsuki's foot landed on her mask, sending her flying with a screech of shock and pain. Tatsuki stomped forward, fury all over her face. "You DARE MAR MY BEAUTIFUL FACE?! GET HER!" Numb Chandelier howled furiously after she had crashed into a brick wall and gotten up with a shoe-mark over her face.

"Bakudō #15: Shū Sai." Tatsuki didn't even break her stride as she waved two fingers on her right hand at the charging group. All of them glowed gold, and their arms immediately snapped behind their backs, and their legs came together, making them fall to their knees and stay there, unable to move a muscle.

Numb Chandelier gasped, and immediately took off into the sky to run away. This was far too powerful a foe to face! "What's wrong?" Tatsuki asked as her hand clamped on the Hollow's skull. She was so fast the Hollow had zero chance to even see her! "ARE YOU LEAVING THE PARTY SO SOON?!" The two fell down to earth like a comet, with Tatsuki shoving the Hollow's head into the pavement and then flipping her face down, grabbing the back of her skull, and running, "WHAT'S WRONG, HOLLOW?! WEREN'T YOU HAVING SO MUCH FUN TORMENTING MY FRIENDS?!" She ground the hollow's face through the asphalt.

"GAH! GET AWAY-" She managed to say as Tatsuki stopped grinding her face into the ground. She was also cut off as Tatsuki picked her up and repeatedly slammed her down. She then reached down and tore one of the monster's tentacles right off.

"Tch." She clicked her teeth when the Hollow failed to react with any obvious sign that losing a tentacle had caused it pain. "I know I shouldn't be enjoying this." Tatsuki said, "But damn if Hollows like you don't make me wish I was already better at stuff other than just hitting things hard." Tatsuki snarled, before holding out her hand and allowing her Asauchi to flash into her hand.

"Sh-Shinigam-"

"Die!" Tatsuki yelled, slashing the Hollow in two with one swipe of her sword. Her eyes widened as the souls inside of the Hollow started spewing out without the monster disintegrating into Reishi. She jumped back as she sheathed her sword, landing next to her astounded friends.

"NOOOO! I DON'T DESERVE THIS! I DON'T-" Numb Chandelier screamed as energy erupted from her mask and rose up into the air.

"Didn't think I'd see this again so soon." Tatsuki hissed as the Doors of Hell opened behind it. The giant knife stabbed through Numb Chandelier, and then retreated, carrying the skewered Hollow with it. The doors slammed shut, cutting off the evil sounding laughter, before the gates shattered and dissolved into Reishi.

"T-Tatsuki…" Ryō stuttered in disbelief, "Wh-what?" She shut up as her friend embraced her. "What's going on?!" She started to cry as Chizuru and the two boys joined them for a group hug as well.

"Y-you saved us!" Chizuru bawled, "I'll never say anything dumb about you again!"

Tatsuki snorted, and chopped the redhead on the head, "Doesn't suit you." Chizuru pouted, feeling overwhelmed. "I know you guys have questions." Tatsuki smiled at them, "But I still have work to do. We'll have to talk later, okay?" She eyed Tessai who had just appeared, "Sensei, can you transport them to the Shōten? We've got a lot of people who are going to need healing."

"Of course." Tessai said, before a white cloth appeared in his hand, "Sentan Hakuja." He said softly, and the cloth started to whirl around them.

"Stay where Tessai-sensei brings you, guys. You'll be safe there. We'll come get you after, okay."

"Y-yeah, you got it, Tatsuki." Keigo stuttered.

"Stay safe!" Ryō and Chizuru said in pleading tones before the cloth formed a seemingly solid wall around them. Everything there vanished, and Tatsuki turned around and quickly started using what little Kaidō she knew to stabilize the unfortunate bystanders. She also released them from her Bakudō, with all of them having fallen unconscious. As soon as she was done, she ran to join Sado in busting heads.

-]|[-

As the groups of saved would-be victims who had any sort of spiritual power gathered at the Urahara Shōten (with Sado sending on Michiru and Mahana, and Isshin showing up with his daughters and their friends), Uryū was starting to get irritated. "What is this?" He hissed as he shot arrow after arrow, destroying swathes of Hollows with each attack. His training had been a rush job and he hadn't given himself any time to acclimate to the power he now held. His left hand's fingers were bloody, and he was definitely going to be feeling it when this was over. "This bait shouldn't have drawn anywhere near this many!"

He killed, and killed, and killed. He was in the hundreds of Hollows now, by his count, and they still kept coming. It wasn't like he was in any particular danger from such weak creatures. Not with how strong he had become. But the fact that this wasn't over already was stressing him out. The bait he used should have summoned a hundred Hollows. Two hundred tops! He knew he hadn't been able to save everyone. His quadrant of Karakura hadn't suffered any serious effects due to his efforts, but he could sense other parts of the city which weren't so fortunate.

He drew his bowstring once more and loosed another dozen arrows, peppering the beasts in front of him and destroying them. He whirled around to slay the next set, and the next thing he knew, he was on the floor. 'My jaw!' He thought to himself in shock, clenching it with his hand and moving it around just to make sure it wasn't broken.

Ichigo landed in front of him, a dark look in his eyes as his power welled wildly around them. The Hollows were drawn to him like moths to flame, and with a negligent backhand the whole horde was demolished. He reached down and hauled Uryū to his feet by his lapels, "Are you happy, bastard?! Do you have ANY idea how many people have been hurt because of you?! How many people have already died?! How many more people who had nothing to do with the afterlife have awakened to it?! Was this what you wanted?!" He dropped Uryū and drew his Zanpakutō, slashing at the sky and killing a hundred Hollows in one swipe. The wind generated from his slash created an air blade that cut the entire group in half.

Uryū staggered, his face pale and regret plain on his features, "No." He said softly, "The bait… it shouldn't have drawn nearly this many." He admitted, his pride broken in the face of what he had caused.

Ichigo twitched, 'Aizen.' He thought to himself, 'Or maybe the bait itself was expired or tampered with.' He huffed like a bull, "Great." He said sarcastically, "So you're a fucking retard that doesn't even test shit before using it. Great work, first place." He snarked, referring to Uryū's position as the number one student in their year.

Uryū didn't flinch. He refused to flinch. "I won't make any excuses." He said, looking towards the hordes, "But we can settle this when this is over."

"You won't even have the chance to settle it with him because I'm going to break your fucking teeth, dumbass!" Tatsuki snarled as she landed near them. A second later, Sado arrived in a whisper of Shunpo and Orihime jumped off her shield with Rangiku.

"Any injuries?" She asked, eyeing Uryū's hand and restoring it to full strength in a second. Uryū gaped at it in surprise.

"We're good." Sado rumbled, "For now." He stared Uryū down expressionlessly.

"Can it for now. They're coming." Ichigo growled, staring up at the sky, which was so full of cracks that it looked like a broken pane of glass.

"Shit…" Rangiku sighed as a gigantic set of fingers broke through the air from the other side, 'Well, that settles that. There's no way they won't investigate now.' She clenched her fists, knowing her time with Ichigo and her friends had come to a close. She'd be lucky to have another twenty-four hours in the human world.

"What is that?!" Uryū asked as he stared at the Menos Grande, aghast.

"No, seriously." Tatsuki was sweating a little, "That's… a bit bigger than I'm used to. I don't think I can throw that one."

"Menos Grande." Ichigo said, cracking his neck to the side, "The antepenultimate Hollow evolution. These are the next step after Huge Hollows."

"Well, fuck." Tatsuki bit her lip.

"There's a lot of them." Orihime whimpered, knowing these things were stronger than any of the Hollows any of them had faced. She just didn't know by how much.

"The alarms in the Seireitei must be going wild." Rangiku bit her lip, "I can't even count them all." The Gillians were filing out of multiple gigantic Garganta.

"Okay, I just want to put out there that the bait shouldn't have even been capable of summoning Huge Hollows, much less these things!" Uryū held his bow at the ready, wondering what it would take to put these things down, and hoping that the giant targets just made it easy.

"Tch." Tatsuki spat on the floor, "I don't care if it was meant to summon ten at most. You had no right to involve innocent people in this! And don't give me any bullshit! You knew damn well that at the very least, our classmates were starting to awaken, and they'd be potential targets!"

"Not the time." Urahara said as he landed, with Ururu having blasted the garden variety Hollows away with her Senren Bakusatsu Taihō. "I'd get to killing them if I were you, kids." He pointed at the Menos which had clearly sensed the high amounts of Reiatsu gathered there.

"What are they-" Tatsuki gaped, "No, they're not going to-"

Yes, Tatsuki. They were.

"Incoming Cero!" Ichigo roared, gripping his blade with both hands in anticipation.

The Menos had formed a firing line and were now aiming Cero right for them. Orihime leapt into action as the Doom Blasts flew towards them. "Shiten Kōshun!" She yelled as a massive triangular shield formed in front of her, "I reject!" She cried out as the multitude of Cero smashed into her shield. She grimaced, feeling her Reiatsu take a large hit, but her shield refused to falter. The attacks ended, and then a bright golden beam shot out from her shield. She forced it to move, and the laser cut through the entire firing line with the energy of their own attacks. The gigantic Hollows were slain, and they all gasped as they felt the sheer number of souls moving on to the afterlife.

"You." Ichigo pointed his Zanpakutō at Uryū, "Are going to sit your ass down." Uryū clenched his fists, "If you kill a single one of them, I'm cutting your head off. That was tens of thousands of innocent souls. EACH." Well, mostly innocent. Ichigo was pretty surprised to see that the Gates of Hell popped up a couple dozen times, even if the doorways were tiny compared to their usual size.

Uryū growled and eyed the complete lack of sympathy or approval in their eyes. He then realized Urahara was idly tapping his disguised Zanpakutō on the roof while looking him in the eyes, "Fine." He allowed his bow to disappear.

Ichigo nodded and turned to Orihime. "Good job, 'Hime." He headpatted her, earning a giggle from the girl, "Let's go!" He leapt into the air, "MY TURN, BITCHES!" He pointed his blade at the hoard, which had a ball of crackling lightning growing on the tip, "CERO!" His own electric Doom Blast rocketed out, dwarfing all ten of the ones used by the Menos. Another wave of the beasts was instantly destroyed.

"What?!" Uryū gasped, "What do you mean 'Cero?!' Wasn't that the attack those Hollows just used?!"

"Kurosaki-san is quite the unique individual." Urahara fanned himself lazily. "Quite unique indeed." Uryū stared at the fight with trembling fists.

"Hey asshole!" Tatsuki roared as she leapt at one of the Menos, "EAT FIST!" She socked it in the face, drawing a roar as it stumbled back. "OWOWOWOW!" She blew on her fist, watching as it immediately started to purple. "WHAT THE FUCK IS YOUR MASK MADE OF?!" She screeched at it furiously.

"RAAAAAAA!" The Gillian roared mindlessly back at her and threw its head forward to try to eat her.

"Come and get me, bitch!" Tatsuki yelled as she blocked, allowing the metallic-sounding clang to ring out. The Gillian was rebuffed, stumbling back, and destroying a few houses below. Not that Tatsuki noticed, "Holy shit!" She grinned as she was instantly engulfed in her damage absorption flames at maximum power. "Explosion!" She roared, chopping down on its nose. A light flash, and the two halves of the Gillian sprang apart before dissolving into Reishi.

A couple dozen meters away, Orihime floated in her Angel Knight form. The Gillian she was facing had just come stepping out of a new Garganta, and had immediately fired a Cero at her. She raised her shield with her left arm and rushed at the attack. The Cero hit her shield and started to splash off of it. She flew further in until the beam was touching its mouth, and the attack destabilized and exploded, blowing the Hollow's head off. Thankfully, the explosion was mostly contained by the Garganta and didn't affect the ground below. She sighed in relief as she rushed back into the living world. "Note to self. Don't do that again in the living world." She mumbled, sweating heavily. "Sorry guys, I need to rest!" She called out, catching Tatsuki on a shield and bringing them both to the waiting group.

"They're tough." Tatsuki brushed her hand through her sweaty hair.

Rangiku shook her head, "Honestly, this is just embarrassing. The squads would have been pissing themselves at the idea of fighting this many Menos without at least a couple Lieutenants around…"

"Except for Squad 11." Urahara said airily, his lips quivering in dry amusement, "They'd be too busy getting themselves killed, of course."

"Quite." Rangiku matched his tone, shaking her head. "No wonder Quincy boy here thinks we're all useless."

Uryū clenched his jaw to avoid speaking,

Sado was still in the air, firing out his El Directo at every Menos he could get his eyes on. He was starting to run low on Reiryoku, admittedly, but still had some gas in the tank. He eyed the Doom Blast rushing towards him, and fired another attack at it. The two met in midair and exploded, hiding his movements. He got around one of the Gillian and lined it up with a few of its fellows. "La Muerte!" He yelled, punching it clean on its mask and sending it flying backwards into another Gillian. It smashed into it and took it off its feet. And then it ran into another, and another, until the group crashed into a skyscraper and exploded. The Gillians dissolved, while a skull was imprinted into the large building. "…Oops."

"Damn it Chad!" Ichigo couldn't help but chuckle as he cut another Gillian in half, "Go rest up big guy. I'll finish this." He eyed the final remaining Gillians, all three of whom were staring at him. But one of them…

One of them had a unique mask. It roared and turned its head, biting into the Menos by its side. It tore off a chunk and the dying Gillian roared in pain as it began to be absorbed. It then turned to the final one and bit into it as well. That seemed to have done it, because the Gillian's power started to flare as it roared its triumph into the sky. "I've done it! I've finally become an Adjuchas!" It started to laugh as it began to shrink.

And then Ichigo's Zanpakutō struck it in the mask and buried itself all the way to the cross guard, "What do I look like? A dumbass?" Ichigo asked rhetorically as he stood on the hilt of his blade, "You should have eaten them before coming, idiot." He stomped down, and the blade split the almost-Adjuchas's mask as it flew into the air.

He caught his blade and a quick Sonido had him back with his friends. "Finally done." He scratched the back of his head.

"Wowie, I'm pooped." Orihime leaned on Tatsuki, giggling.

"I'd say there's just one thing left to do." Sado said, making Ichigo nod.

"Yeah, you're right." Ichigo popped his back, and then his cannon was facing Uryū, "I said that if you killed a single Hollow more, I was going to blow your arm off." Ichigo growled as Uryū jumped back, sweating. "And what do you do? You put TENS OF THOUSANDS of people who had nothing to do with your grudge in danger! All so you could prove yourself a mass murder by destroying thousands of souls in a single day!"

"I-"

"Don't want to fucking hear it." Ichigo said, preparing to pull the trigger. And then he was shocked when his cannon jerked upwards, "Wha-?"

"As much of a hopeless fool as he is…" A white-haired man was standing next to him, and had physically moved his cannon away from the young Quincy, "I would thank you not to shoot my son, Kurosaki-san."

"Ryūken." Uryū had gone pale. He hadn't even realized his father was there. From one moment to the next, he had simply appeared out of thin air. And then he was lifted off his feet from a punch to his gut. His eyes immediately lost focus as a massive amount of saliva escaped his lips. He was unconscious before his feet touched the ground.

"Shit." Tatsuki whistled, "For a second there I thought his shoes came off."

Ichigo glared at Ryūken as the man put his son over his shoulder like a sack of rice. "You understand that if you give him a slap on the wrist, I'm just going to shoot him later, right?"

"Oh, I have little doubt you'll follow through on your word. You're your mother's son, after all." Ryūken replied, and gave him a small smile as Ichigo dropped his guard in surprise. A smile he had rarely given his own son. "She would be proud of you, and you do not have to worry." He said, "Uryū will not trouble you again." His tone turned dark with the final statement.

Urahara sighed as he realized what Ryūken intended to do, "Pity he could not look past his own grief, old friend."

"Indeed." Ryūken looked pained as he glanced over at Urahara. "And we're not friends."

Urahara actually rolled his eyes. "Drinking partners, then." Ryūken nodded seriously, which made the teens lips twitch.

"He raged at us and told us that the Shinigami never do their job and let innocent people die." Ichigo put away his cannon, his rage having left him at meeting a link to his mother, "Who?" He asked softly.

"His mentor." Ryūken replied softly, "And grandfather." Tatsuki and Orihime flinched at the knowledge, "My father fought alone against a group of Hollows. He was strong, but old. He couldn't defeat them all, and it was only one hour after he was already dead and two hours after the attack started that the Shinigami showed up to clean up the mess. Uryū never forgave them."

"Fuck." Tatsuki hissed, while Rangiku closed her eyes and looked away.

"You all did well in protecting the city." Ryūken told them, "Get some rest." He vanished with Uryū.

"Agreed." Urahara fanned himself some more, "I suggest you all get over to the Shōten. I'm sure there's a good number of people waiting for you."

"Yeah, let's go guys." He picked Rangiku up and vanished, holding her much more tightly than he needed to.

She didn't complain.

-]|[-

And that's the end of that! Hope you guys all enjoyed this chapter!

I was debating bringing in some Adjuchas at the end, but just didn't feel it fit. There was no real other way for me to make it exciting, so I focused mainly on other perspectives.

Now, some questions I'm sure some of you will have.

Why didn't Soul Society come for Rangiku earlier? The timeline is a few days ahead of canon, after all. Well, she was never caught on camera during Kanoji's event since they didn't need to rush for the Demi Hollow.

Why did I give all these random kids the ability to see spirits but not powers of their own? Because it can't just be the characters with screentime that get affected by all the Reiatsu around them, but I can't exactly continue to keep them in the cast without bloating stuff. They'll get powers of their own, just no actual screentime.

Timeline-wise, this final event happened on July 27th, rather than the 18th as per canon.

What will Uryū's punishment be? Well, I'm sure you won't have to think too hard about that if you remember his stylish new glove.

-]|[-

August's update will be Legend of the Monkey God chapter 4. I'm SO sorry guys. I had that one ready for a while and just… Fucking forgot about it. September's update will be That Time I Got Flung Across Worlds & Fell on my Big Tiddy Redhead GF chapter 3. Yes, I'm still fucking cackling that I managed to fit that entire title in. October's live update will be Emerald Phoenix chapter 14. Chapter 15 will also be going live for patrons at the same time as this chapter since I managed to find the inspiration for two in a row.

As always, you can get early (and occasionally exclusive) access to all of my works on pat re on. Just google my username.