So does anyone think I give a fuck about canon? If so, please read the following chapter :D

Also, I suck with chapter titles. If anyone has a good one lay it on me.

-[-

Chapter VII:

-[-

"-And despite the fact that Shinigami duties in Karakura have been fulfilled for the past two months, there has been zero contact from the woman." Kurotsuchi Mayuri said with an uncaring tone, "Additionally, there have been no sightings of her over the broadcasts my division has monitored."

Yamamoto was old and tired. This past century had been disaster after disaster. Not once in his entire tenure had so many incidents arisen in so quick a timespan. Starting with the loss of all of those Captains and Lieutenants a century ago, and then the disappearance of Shiba Isshin only a few decades ago. And now, it was evidently starting up again, with the disappearance of the nominal Lieutenant of the 10th division, who had been temporarily demoted as punishment. Matsumoto was even the second-longest tenured Lieutenant in the Gotei 13. How many more good Shinigami would they lose before he was finally allowed to rest?

He could also see how much the youngest of his Captains was berating himself over this. He had reason to be angry of course, but seeing the result of his decision to demote Matsumoto and send her to the Jūreichi had the lad castigating himself and doubting his own ability to lead.

He projected strength, as he always did, "Have the Onmitsukidō turned up anything?" He asked calmly.

"Nothing." Soifon replied, "Whatever has happened to her is up in the air. We've been unable to find a single trace. She could be dead-" Hitsugaya's jaw clenched, "-Injured, or even gone to ground. We just don't know. She is, for all intents and purposes, a ghost." Pun very much not intended with her, though Kyoraku's lips quivered, nonetheless.

Yamamoto opened his mouth, but quickly shut it as the door opened. Incensed at the interruption, he glared at Lieutenant Kurotsuchi, "What is the meaning of this?" The sleeping dragon growled out.

"Nemu, you stupid girl." Mayuri even broke rank to glare at his daughter, "What business do you have interrupting a Captain's Meeting?" Several of the Captains had to bite back the urge to berate Mayuri for his usual horrible treatment of the poor girl.

"My apologies Mayuri-sama, Sōtaichō-sama." Nemu bowed her head, "As of twenty minutes ago, the Jūreichi has begun experiencing extremely unusual activity."

"Unusual how, Kurotsuchi-chan?" Kyoraku asked easily, focusing on her.

"Unless our sensors have malfunctioned entirely, over the span of just fifteen minutes, there have been over eight-hundred Hollow incursions into the Living World." Nemu replied and reached into her cleavage to pull out a small device.

"Eight hundred?!" Hitsugaya gasped.

"With more on the way. Many more." Nemu confirmed.

Mayuri ground his teeth, "What took you so long then, you simpleton?!"

"My apologies, Mayuri-sama. We first needed to ensure that the sensors were, in fact, not malfunctioning." Nemu apologized as she set the device down. She clicked a button and then stepped away, allowing a heat map to show off Karakura. Nearly every single location on the map had varying degrees of red marks.

"How is this possible?" Komamura growled, "They're everywhere."

They were indeed. Yamamoto's hands clenched harder on his gnarled staff, remembering the events of hundreds as well as over a thousand years past. This had to be the work of Hollow Bait.

"We need to mobilize!" Tōsen said sharply, "That many Hollows will quickly overwhelm any force stationed in the Jūreichi and lead to mass casualties!"

"Actually," Nemu said, "Whatever forces are stationed in Karakura have been dealing with the invasion. The Hollows have been dying nearly as quickly as they've been arriving. I was unaware we had any Captain-level fighters stationed there."

"Well now, perhaps Rangiku-chan isn't dead after all." Gin smiled easily.

"Get the video working!" Mayuri demanded, "We need to see this."

"We are trying." Nemu replied, "There have been some heavy interfer-" She was interrupted as her Soul Pager rang. She quickly pulled it from her cleavage (making several wonder just how much stuff she could fit in there) and took the call, "You are on speaker. I have the Captains here with me."

"Sirs!" The voice sounded panicked, "It's a disaster! The Hollows and Huge Hollows were one thing, but we evidently have Gillians on the way as well!"

"Get that video working now, damn it!" Mayuri snarled.

"Sōtaichō, we must prepare the squads to sortie as well if Menos are involved." Tōsen pleaded, turning straight to the old dragon.

"Got it!" The voice on the call yelled, and the mobile screen Nemu had brought switched over to the image of the giant cracks in the sky, "Kurotsuchi-fukutaichō, please enable the multi-view function." Nemu hurriedly walked over and fiddled with the device, and a second projected screen popped into the air.

"Matsumoto!" Hitsugaya yelled incredulously, "Why is she still in her Gigai? Who are those other people?!"

In the commotion, the slight sigh that escaped Yamamoto went unnoticed. He recognized Urahara of course. They had almost always known where, in general, the eccentric man was. The Central 46 may have demanded his death after his escape, but Yamamoto had already lost too many good soldiers to follow through with any real zeal. The fact that something made him doubt the situation hadn't helped matters. But the other whelps were new, and judging from the modified shihakushō, one of them was likely a Substitute Shinigami for the former Lieutenant. There was no other reason for her to be in a Gigai during a situation like this.

And then what happened next forced his eyes open. The assembled Captains watched as the young girl with orange hair blocked several concentrated Cero with a shield that then reflected the damage, killing several Menos with their own powers. He watched as the Substitute used an electrical attack from the tip of his sword that wiped out several more. He watched as the group of young teens annihilated several creatures that would have given the vast majority of his forces a great deal of trouble.

"This is incredible." Aizen said softly, "Who are these children who can take care of Menos on their own? If they're all the same age as the girl, they can't even be legal adults in the Living World."

They watched as the presumed teens mopped up the rest of the Hollows, and the Jūreichi was once again secure. The surveillance bugs then lost track of the team, as they vanished after some short conversations with each other.

As Nemu shut off the projectors, Kuchiki Byakuya dispassionately stated, "It is clear from the footage that former Lieutenant Matsumoto has given her powers to a human." He closed his eyes, "A high crime, after the last time we dealt with a Substitute."

Hitsugaya flinched and looked at his feet. He sighed, "I will go collect her." He said softly, not looking forward to this at all.

Everyone looked to the Sōtaichō, waiting for his verdict and dismissal. Yamamoto had his eyes closed again, considering what he had seen. The potential he had seen, and the obvious closeness between the Substitute and Shinigami interested him. The boy was strong. That much was a given. But how strong? Gillians were a poor test for anyone who had enough Reiatsu to actually cut them. And what role did Urahara play in this?

He considered, and then slammed his staff on the floor to give his verdict.

-[-

"Ichigo nooooo!" Keigo wailed as he saw Ichigo leap hundreds of feet down into this weird basement from the top of the ladder, "You have too much to live for! And so does she!"

"The hell are you on about, Keigo?" Ichigo snarked as he landed easily, much to the shock of half the people in the room. The rest of the assault squad dropped down as Ichigo put Rangiku on her feet.

Chizuru was stuttering as she pointed a shaky finger at them, "Th-That was hundreds of feet down. What the hell?!"

"As if this tiny drop could hurt." Ichigo said as if he hadn't just given physics the middle finger. "Honestly, did you forget that you got teleported halfway across the city?"

"O-oh… Yeah, kinda." Keigo scratched the back of his head.

"Ichi-nii!" Karin and Yuzu yelled as they ran forward, leaping into his arms.

"Are you two okay?" He asked as he hugged them tightly.

"It was a close call." Rangiku said as she patted the young girls on their heads.

Karin tried to be brave, "Psh, those things were pretty weak like you said, Ichi-nii."

"But there were a lot of them, Karin-chan!" Yuzu turned watery eyes up to her big brother.

"Tch, I should have fed Uryū his own damn nose." Ichigo growled.

"What happened?" Karin asked.

"Yes, please." A stressed-out and harried-looking Kunieda Ryō asked.

"What were those scary things?!" Michiru looked like she was going to pass out just from speaking with him.

"And what the heck are you wearing?" Mahana was not looking anywhere near as bubbly and peppy as she usually did.

Chizuru had actually burst into tears again and was hugging it out with Tatsuki and Orihime. Mizuiro actually still had barely spoken since the incident.

And that wasn't even mentioning the munchkins from Karin and Yuzu's grade, all of whom looked halfway between terrified and excited. He groaned, "Listen guys, I'm being serious here. You're better off not knowing."

"What?!" Ryō glared at him, "We were attacked by a monster and you're telling us to just forget about it?!"

"Yes." Tatsuki, still half-hugging Chizuru, said bluntly, "It's a whole new world you'll be stepping into, and frankly, you might wish you never found out if we tell you."

"Then why do you know?!" Mizuiro finally spoke, his voice sounding hoarse.

"I was born into it." Ichigo shrugged, "And found out most of it on my own. These three were with me when a big one attacked and watched me kill it."

"It was scary as shit." Tatsuki said bluntly.

"And if we make you aware of the details and you decide you want in, you'll be under constant and increasing threat from them." Sado told them, his arms crossed.

"We'd rather you guys leave protecting you to us." Orihime said softly, before sighing, "Though I suppose even I wouldn't want to leave it at that. I was too excited about everything to realize how much danger we were actually in."

Chizuru shuddered, "That… that monster was going to… was going to have her slaves… rape us. Just for her own entertainment." She started crying anew, "I-I never want to feel like that again."

Michiru started to cry too, "Oh gosh, that's awful Chizuru-chan." She wiped her tears, "O-Ours just chased us and kept trying to eat us."

"You two got lucky then." Ichigo said, "The mindless ones are easier to handle."

Ryō stomped up, "I… I refuse to let that happen again. Regardless of what everyone else feels, I want in."

He sighed, considering them and their resolute faces. Even Michiru wasn't backing down, and that wallflower could barely even speak to him without being scared. He eyed Rangiku and his father, who had taken Karin and Yuzu's friends away to give them their own explanations. He closed his eyes and bowed his head, "So be it…" He said softly. "I'm sure you know that I 'pretended' to be able to see ghosts when I was younger. That wasn't pretending." And so, he launched into his story, and chuckled mirthlessly as his friends and classmates got paler and paler with every word.

-[-

"What a fucking day." Ichigo carelessly tossed his towel into the hamper as he finished drying his hair. He walked into his room in only a set of boxers as he dropped onto the bed. The explanation had taken a while, and when it was over, his friends had needed some time and refreshments to get themselves under control. And then Keigo had asked what kind of magic he could do and which one of them was the strongest. Ichigo would chuckle at the look on his friend's face as he showed off a casual Cero for the rest of his life.

His musings cut off as his door opened and he raised his head. His eyes opened wide, and he sniffed like a bull as he took in Rangiku. She had come into his room wearing what seemed to be a very short, gossamer, lavender robe. Her beautiful red hair was still somewhat wet, making it look even darker, and the robe wasn't even properly secured, showing off bits of her right shoulder. She was staring at him through lidded eyes. "Hey beautiful…" He said, not able to get much more out.

"Hey yourself." A happy smile rose up on her face as she walked in and shut the door behind her. She pressed a button on a device she was holding, and set it on his desk. Ichigo twitched as he felt some sort of Kidō go up around his room. "I'd hoped…" she put her left knee on the bed, "To get another date in." She climbed up and straddled him, "But it appears your dumbass cousin ruined that."

His heart started to beat faster, and his hands found her thighs, "It's probably our last night for a while, isn't it?"

"Yeah." She said, "I wish we had more time, but I doubt they'll even give us the full day." She slowly and lightly dragged her nails up his chest, "So… let's make the best of it, Ichi." She lowered her lips to his and kissed him. "I love you." She whispered.

"Love you too…" He claimed her lips again. They didn't get much rest that night.

-[-

In the end, they'd had more time than they had thought. The two spent a few hours lazing in the house in the morning, yet the expected Reiatsu from Shinigami arriving to capture Rangiku never materialized. Once they got bored of just lazing in bed and snuggling, they made their way to Urahara's.

"My, you two sure look like you had some fun last night." Yoruichi had a Cheshire Cat grin on her face as she stared at the two, "Making a Gigai walk gingerly? You've got some talent, Ichigo."

Ichigo both blushed and smirked. Rangiku giggled, "Little rough around the edges, but he was a quick learner." She winked.

Tatsuki chuckled, "If Keigo or Chizuru were here, they'd be dying of jealousy." She winked at him, "Still, doing that after yesterday? Not the most romantic, is it?"

'Ah… that's right.' Ichigo's face fell, as did Yoruichi and Rangiku's, 'They still don't know…' He sighed, "Well, we wouldn't have gotten the chance if we waited."

Chad, Orihime, and Tatsuki immediately realized something was wrong. "What's wrong?" Tatsuki asked, her eyes narrowing, "Why did the mood shift to the graveyard? Why wouldn't you have gotten the chance?"

Ichigo regarded them carefully, "Okay guys, you've been with me through thick and thin ever since I first showed you this world, but this is different. The danger involved makes Menos look like newborn Hollows." The three looked at each other, and became as deadly serious as he'd ever seen them, "So if you think this is too much for you, none of us would begrudge you."

"Cut the bullshit, Ichigo." Tatsuki snarled, angry that he was even saying it.

"Ride or die, Ichigo." Chad said, "You protect me, I protect you. That's how it's always been."

"M!" Orihime nodded sharply, not even vocalizing her agreement.

"You've got good friends." Yoruichi said, smiling softly.

"The best." Ichigo chuckled, "Dumbest too."

"Hey!" Tatsuki and Orihime yelled indignantly.

"Alright, here's the deal. We're going to war." Ichigo said bluntly.

They all blanched, "What the fuck?!" Tatsuki yelled, "You can't just say something like that without any details!"

"Long story short," Rangiku said, "There are three traitors in Soul Society that have been working in secret to undermine the Gotei 13 and grow their own power. Every single one of them Villains with Good Publicity." She crossed her arms, "One of them in particular, the leader of the group, is directly responsible for costing the Seireitei four Captains and four Lieutenants to an illegal experiment, which he then blamed on Urahara. He caused all eleven of them to have to flee the Soul Society to avoid being hunted down and killed."

"Wait!" Orihime wrinkled her nose, "Eleven?"

"Hat-n-Clogs, Yoruichi, and Tessai." Ichigo clarified, making her 'ah' in realization.

Rangiku continued, "Almost twenty years ago, he was also responsible for the event that caused Captain Shiba to leave the Soul Society as well. If I had to put money on it, I'd say he was also probably responsible in some way for the Hollow Bait Ishida used being so much more powerful than it should have been. He was also responsible for framing me and my friends for an incident in the Seireitei, which got me demoted and sent here."

"What the fuck?" Tatsuki was gaping.

Sado's eyes were narrowed, "How has he gotten away with all this?"

"His Zanpakutō's Shikai has the ability of complete and total hypnosis." Yoruichi replied, "And so he can make anyone see, feel, hear, taste, smell, and touch whatever he wants."

A full body shudder ran through Orihime and Tatsuki, "Th-that's awful."

"There's more to it, but that's enough background info for now." Ichigo told them, "What matters is what's happening now. We're letting them believe what we want them to believe because we're setting our own trap for them. They are currently operating under the assumption that Rangiku gave me my Shinigami powers. Whether they personally believe that to be true is irrelevant. We're not sure how well we've been able to maintain information sanitation here. What's important is that the rest of the Seireitei will believe it, and that is highly illegal."

"I volunteered for this, for the record." Rangiku told them as their faces lit up with horrified fury. "By the end of the day, they will have come after me, where they will sentence me to be executed."

"WHAT?!" Even Sado yelled in horror, "Rangiku you can't!" Orihime launched herself at the bustier woman, already crying.

"It's already set in stone, 'Hime." Rangiku giggled, "Which means you guys are going to have to come save me."

"Hence, going to war." Ichigo said, punching his palm, "We're going to break into the afterlife and beat anyone who gets between us and Rangiku. We'll expose these fuckers and if we can, defeat them ourselves."

"We're obviously in." Tatsuki said, mimicking him. "Like hell we're letting Rangiku die, and it's obvious these three fuckers need some lessons in manners!" Sado and Orihime nodded resolutely.

"We've got your back, Ichigo." Sado held his fist up resolutely.

"You can count on us!" Orihime agreed, "You two just found each other! There's no way we're letting these old meanies separate you!"

Rangiku giggled, hugging the younger girl firmly. Yoruichi smirked, "Good. But that means you all will have to be ready to deal with thousands upon thousands of enemies, in enemy territory." A purple miasma seemed to shadow her, "Which means your asses belong to us until it's time to invade. Of the four of you, only Ichigo has a chance of surviving against the best the Seireitei will throw at you. I hope you're all ready." Tatsuki and Orihime hugged each other, feeling cold.

"So, we'll be ramping our training up?" Sado asked, thinking they had already been on a good pace.

"No." Kisuke came up to them, "We have very little time at this point, and a lot to do. Therefore, we will be transitioning to more personal instruction."

Sado almost jumped as Isshin appeared and clapped a hand on his shoulder, "You're with me, Chad." The mature boy nodded.

"And you with me, miss Orihime." Tessai smiled at her, "You've been a diligent student so far, but I expect excellence now."

"I'll do my best, Tessai-sensei!" Orihime smiled at the giant man.

"And that tight ass is mine, Tatsuki." Yoruichi grinned at the martial artist, who grinned back and raised a fist in challenge.

"Guess that means I'm with you, huh, Hat-n-Clogs?" Ichigo looked over at Kisuke. He was surprised when the man shook his head.

"Not quite." Kisuke snapped his fan open, "Oh no, I have other plans for you. It's about time I call in a favor." Ichigo could only wonder what that meant.

-[-

The second the sun started to sink across the horizon, it happened. Rangiku and Ichigo were taking a walk through Karakura park when they felt the arrival of two Shinigami. "Here we go." He said softly.

"I'll see you on the other side, Ichi." Despite her belief in him, her heart was still hammering. "Love you." She said softly, stealing one last kiss.

"Love you too." He replied, feeling pissed off that this had to happen at all, and then allowed his Reiatsu to leak slightly as they continued to walk. The two Shinigami who arrived noticed his Reiatsu immediately, and raced their way. "Two of them."

"Won't be Captain, then." Rangiku sighed, "He would have come for me alone." She grimaced, "I just hope they weren't stupid enough to send Kenpachi."

Ichigo snorted, "Wouldn't that be something." A few seconds after he finished speaking, the two appeared, and both of their eyes widened, 'No fucking way.' He thought to himself. For two reasons. First was his evil twin, standing across from him. The guy looked like him, if skinnier, less muscled, and older with dark hair, three thin scars running down his right eye, and some tattoos on his face. 'Why the hell did he tattoo 69 on his damn cheek?' Ichigo's eye twitched.

But the true cause of his shock was the man beside him. He was a black man with darker skin than Yoruichi, with his hair done up in braids. He had the traditional Shinigami shihakushō with a Captain's haori over it, an orange scarf around his neck, and what he was told was a very expensive set of shades over his eyes.

Tōsen Kaname, one of the very men that they were going to Soul Society to expose, was in front of them. Rangiku quickly forced herself to speak, "Captain Tōsen, Hisagi…" Rangiku let out a sigh as she saw them. "I hadn't expected you to be the ones. I figured Captain would be coming to get me."

"Indeed." Tōsen stated calmly, his sightless eyes nonetheless boring into hers, "Hisagi insisted on coming. Captain Hitsugaya allowed me to come in his place."

"Why, Rangiku?" Hisagi asked, looking distraught, "Why would you give your powers to a human?! It's forbidden!"

"You say that as if she had any other option." Ichigo retorted sharply. He elbowed Rangiku in the side, "Why didn't you tell me I apparently had an evil twin in the Seireitei?" He asked playfully, while rapidly wondering what they were going to do. Could they really pass this opportunity up? He may not have been Aizen himself, but…

Despite herself, Rangiku giggled, before biting her lip. She took a breath, "My first night here, there was a group of six Huge Hollows." Hisagi's eyes widened in shock, "I was easily able to handle five of them, but the sixth could camouflage so well that I could not sense it until it attacked. It got me from behind." Hisagi clenched his fist in despair, "At that point, it was either give up my powers to Ichigo, or give a Hollow that could camouflage utterly perfectly a free meal. It would have evolved right here in the city. Can you even imagine it? A Gillian in the Jūreichi?" She bowed her head, expertly spinning her yarn, "I did what I had to."

"I see." Tōsen said, "For what it's worth, I believe you made the right decision, Matsumoto-san. A fresh and possibly intelligent Gillian appearing in the middle of the Jūreichi without any prior warning would have been an utter disaster. Your violation of our laws was, for once, following the path of least bloodshed. Of justice. I will speak for you at your trial."

"Thank you, Captain Tōsen." Rangiku formally bowed to him.

"Nonetheless," The black man stated, "Our mission remains unchanged. Your arrest, and the removal of your powers from Kurosaki Ichigo." He 'looked' at them, "Will you come quietly and accept this?"

"Yeah… about that." Ichigo scratched the back of his head with a wry look on his face. Even if the lie they believed had been true and his powers really did belong to Rangiku, Ichigo was definitely not the 'coming quietly' type. With it being his powers to begin with? "See, I've done a whole load of studying on your Soul Society, Captain-san. And I've found that 'leniency' is not exactly a word in your dictionary."

Tōsen was silent for a moment, "Chances of her escaping punishment are low even if I vouch for her." He allowed, "But they are greatly multiplied if she comes quietly, and you accept your depowering without issue."

"Yeah, see, the thing about multiplication is that anything times zero is still zero, and I know what you lot do with criminals. The Maggot's Nest for centuries, or death. And that I can't abide." Ichigo held out his hand, and both Shinigami were shocked when a massive blade appeared in his hand in a flash of light. He swung it over his shoulder, "And to be frank, I like having the power to protect my loved ones. So, I'll have to decline."

Tōsen looked at Matsumoto, "Do you have nothing to say? Are you not concerned for his health? Will you allow this boy to die when he may live?"

"Nothing I can say." Matsumoto said apologetically, "I can't control him any more than I can control the night sky."

"So be it." Tōsen said, before looking towards Hisagi and nodding.

Hisagi instantly drew his Zanpakutō, "You should make this easy on yourself, Kurosaki." He said while stepping forward, "You have talent, clearly, but you're too green to face experienced Shinigami." He said, "I'm surprised you were able to release your Shikai so quickly, but Shikai on its own will not save you tonight."

Ichigo had to bite back a grin. 'So, they think this is my Shikai, huh?' Thor was roaring in laughter in his head. He supposed he could understand the mistake. The adornments on the weapon and its shape were completely abnormal. It certainly wasn't a katana, and the fittings were much fancier than Shinigami were used to. "That so?" Ichigo slowly smirked, which had alarm bells ringing in Hisagi's head.

'Why is he so confident? I know he has that one large attack from the briefing, but there's no way he'll use it here, right? This is a public park!' The thought drifted through Hisagi's mind. Even as he tightened his stance, he spoke, "It is nothing against you, Kurosaki-san, but you've been a Shinigami for two months. Even prodigies such as Captain Ichimaru needed a minimum of one year to graduate from our Academy. And…well… Rangiku isn't exactly the most…diligent." He said, finishing with a sweatdrop.

"Feeling the love here, Hisagi!" Rangiku yelled, pouting,

"Yeah, she is a bit of a lazy cat, huh?" Ichigo chuckled. "Still, we're burning moonlight here, so…" Grinning, Ichigo raised a finger, "Hadō #4: Byakurai."

Hisagi's eyes bulged as a bolt of lightning almost bigger than he was passed by where he had just been standing, "What the?!" He ground his teeth as Ichigo appeared above him with a rumble of thunder, his blade already crashing down on his desperate block. Hisagi's blade trembled like a leaf in a storm as he tried to force Ichigo back, but was completely unable to. "This…this isn't…" He sank to one knee, unable to believe that both of his arms were incapable of holding back just one of Ichigo's.

Hisagi jerked his arms to redirect Ichigo's sword and rapidly backpedaled. Ichigo allowed him to go, still smirking, "What's wrong? I thought I was too green. Why are you backing away?"

"Tch." Hisagi clicked his teeth, "Don't get cocky, kid." He leapt into the air, clapping his hands together. A lavender rod of light appeared between his palms as he expanded them outward, "Bakudō #62: Hyapporankan!" He threw the glowing rod, which multiplied mid-flight into a hundred of them.

Ichigo raised his Zanpakutō and swiped it at the sky. The sheer wind force generated by his swing shattered half of the glowing rods and then hit a gaping Hisagi like a cannon blast. His smoking form crashed to the ground, landing on his knees. He looked disheveled, his shihakushō was frayed in multiple spots, and some blood was falling from his forehead over his face. "Th-this isn't possible."

Off to the side, Tōsen was frowning, thinking much the same thing. Urahara had done too good of a job getting rid of their spying insects. They had very little information on Kurosaki beyond the fight with the Menos Grande. Even his interaction with Grand Fisher had somehow been blocked. All they knew was that Kurosaki was capable of fighting Hollows long before Rangiku had been sent, but had never seemed to be an actual Shinigami.

Hisagi grit his teeth as he stood, unable to believe that his young opponent was going to force him to this point. And worse… he wasn't sure it would be enough. "Reap, Kazeshini!" He called out.

Ichigo whistled, "So, this is your Shikai, huh? I never got to see Ran-chan's." This was, of course, blatant lying. Not that Hisagi knew that.

Instead, the dark-haired man very carefully ignored the implications of that pet name, "That's right." He held up one of the pinwheel-like blades, "Although I don't really like bringing him out."

"Why? That's thing's badass!" Ichigo called out in confusion as off to the side, Rangiku held back the urge to facepalm.

"Badass?" Hisagi asked, "I suppose that's one way of looking at it." He allowed it to drop, holding on just from the chain and letting it swing, "I can't say I like the way it looks."

Ichigo sweatdropped, 'I-is he serious right now?' Inside of him, Thor rumbled in distaste. "Alright, I'll bite." He said, "Why the hell not?"

"Hell… that's appropriate." Hisagi replied, "It looks as though its one and only purpose is to kill."

Ichigo turned his head to Rangiku, "Is this pussy fucking serious right now?"

"You shouldn't take your eyes off your opponent!" Hisagi yelled before Rangiku could answer, flinging Kazeshini at Ichigo. The blade spun with an almost bell-like ringing sound.

"Yeah, no. I'm done with you." Ichigo turned back, allowing the spinning scythes to strike him.

"WHAT?!" Hisagi didn't even remember to pull his Zanpakutō back in his shock.

"First of all," Ichigo reached up and grabbed Kazeshini's shaft, pulling it away and confirming what Hisagi had feared. While Ichigo's shirt had been cut up, his skin was completely unmarred, "Perhaps you should return to that Academy of yours, as you're clearly not ready to be a Shinigami, Hisagi Shūhei. If two opponents fight and one of them has overwhelmingly superior Reiatsu, the weaker one will always lose. This is day one shit. In other words… you're so weak you can't cut even my passive output."

Hisagi was trembling in shock and fear as he tried to yank Kazeshini back, but Ichigo held firm. 'He-he's like Kenpachi! How is this possible?!'

"Second of all, you damn dimwit, your sword is a weapon. And I don't know how it's escaped your notice, but weapons are made to kill." He unleashed his lightning, which immediately crawled up the chain across towards Hisagi before he could react. The man screamed as his nerves flashed repeatedly, before he fell down, smoking. "And third of all, there is no great hangout in the sky where all the Zanpakutō spirits wait to be claimed like some fucking bargain bin superstore. Your Zanpakutō is literally born from and part of your soul. You are your Zanpakutō and your Zanpakutō is you! So, you're literally only insulting yourself!"

Hisagi let out an agonized cough, a puff of smoke exploding from his mouth. "Enough." Tōsen said before he could speak, stepping forward. "My apologies for not ending this sooner, Hisagi." He put his hand on his subordinate's shoulder and bathed him with what little healing Kidō he knew. 'This is far outside what we predicted, Captain Aizen. This boy is powerful.' Color returned to Hisagi's charred skin, but Tōsen's focus was on Ichigo. "Collect Matsumoto and return to the Seireitei."

"Y-yes sir." He glared at Ichigo, yanking on Kazeshini's chain. He glared at Ichigo hard when he refused to let go.

"I should just take this." Ichigo said, making both Shinigami stiffen in anger, "You clearly don't want or deserve it." He let go, "Get the fuck out of my town and don't come back until your balls drop, coward."

Hisagi glared at him as he resealed his Zanpakutō and used it to open the Senkaimon. "Rangiku." He said softly.

Rangiku faced Tōsen, "You asked why I didn't seem concerned for his health, Captain." She finally let out one of her catlike smiles, "It's because I had nothing to be concerned about. I'd…take care if I were you." The only reaction from Tōsen was a tiny twitch of his right eye.

Ichigo shot Rangiku a grin, "I'll see you soon, Ran-chan."

Rangiku smiled softly as she turned and walked through the Senkaimon, "Don't keep a girl waiting, Ichi-kun."

It was the worst blow Hisagi had taken all fight, and it was all he could do to keep from flinching.

"You call him a coward." Tōsen said as he regarded Ichigo, "Are you not afraid of your power?" Hisagi hesitated a step, wanting to hear Ichigo's answer.

"Do I look like a pussy to you?" Ichigo asked bluntly. The Senkaimon closed.

"Those who do not fear their swords have no right to wield them." Tōsen drew his own Zanpakutō.

"Buddha's fat tits, you're insufferable." Ichigo let out a long, drawn-out sigh, "Let's just get to the fighting, shall we? Clearly the pussy got it from you."

"Do not believe yourself superior because you were able to overwhelm Hisagi." Tōsen chided, "He may be the second strongest in my division, but the gap between a Captain and a Lieutenant is the same as the gap between the two of them compared to the rest of the division."

"You trying to talk me to death?" Ichigo swung his Zanpakutō up to his shoulder. "Not going to lie… that would be a new one. Might even work."

"I see you're nothing more than a barbarian like those fools from the 11th Division." Tōsen sighed, "Very well. I won't waste my breath. Cry, Suzumushi."

Immediately, a piercingly sharp sound erupted from his blade and engulfed Ichigo. Ichigo flinched from the ringing filling his ears, and swung his blade. Again, the air pressure from his swing forced his opponent to abort his attack.

The black man had a deep frown now, "To survive my Suzumushi's cry… I see. I should not have allowed Hisagi to fight you at all. It pains me to have to kill someone as young as you, but I will do what I must." He leapt into the air, "Suzumushi Nishiki: Benihikō!" Afterimages seemed to follow his blade as he swung it in a wide arc before a veritable wall of steel appeared. Each and every steel blade, more spikes than anything, fired at Ichigo.

Ichigo judged the power in them, and realized that at the twenty percent all regular Captains and Lieutenants were limited to in the human world, they wouldn't even pierce his Hierro. Perhaps if the man was at full power, he might have needed Blut Vene as well. He simply stood there, unmoving.

Tōsen landed, "With so many blades, dodging them is impossible. May you find peace in-" He stopped, his mouth hanging open as the smoke cleared.

"Didn't we just go over this?" Ichigo's clothes were torn to shreds, but he was unharmed. "I see you did a fine job of murdering my clothes. Good work."

This was far beyond anything Captain Aizen had envisioned. This just wasn't possible. He knew Ichigo had been active for longer than the two months the rest of the Seireitei thought, but this level of power just should not have been possible. To not even take a scratch from his attack, even with his power output as limited as it was, meant that Ichigo was either pushing into the same tier as a Captain himself, or was already there. Despite his self-control, Tōsen couldn't help but feel a bit of fury over the fact that he was about to be forced to take a teenager seriously. He was going to be a laughingstock among not only the Shinigami for the few weeks it would take for them to put their plan into motion, but with the Arrancar as well. "You must not live, Kurosaki Ichigo. With your power, you will easily be capable of disrupting the Seireitei's peace if you truly intend on rescuing Matsumoto-san. Hundreds will likely die if I do not end you now. In order to ensure lasting peace, I will show you my Bankai." He intoned as the ring on his sword's tsuba started to glow, spin, and then enlarge. They multiplied into multiple rings which spread across the park that had been chosen for the confrontation. The ten rings surrounded the two, and then what seemed to be a black shadow rose up between them. "Suzumushi Tsuishiki: Enma Kōrogi." Tōsen said, and it was the last thing Ichigo heard before it seemed like the world died.

He looked around, but all he could see was black. He could hear nothing. He could smell nothing. He didn't even have any taste in his mouth. He couldn't sense anything either. His spiritual senses were as deadened as everything else. He clenched his fist on his sword's hilt, and smiled slightly as he realized that touch remained. "So, this is a Bankai, huh? Impressive." He called out, and it was incredibly strange to be unable to hear his own voice even as his skull vibrated from it.

"Thank you." Tōsen said, calmly walking towards Ichigo. "Not that you can hear me. How does it feel to be in a world without sound or light?" He asked as he swiped Suzumushi at Ichigo, slicing into his shoulder in a small spray of blood.

'So, that's your game, huh? And you can even cut me while my Hierro is at its weakest. I guess it's true that Bankai increases strength five to tenfold.' Ichigo smirked despite the fleeting pain, 'I've gotta fuck with him, right?' He raised his blade as he activated his Blut Vene, though only on his important vitals. It took less Reiatsu than it took to harden his Hierro, so it would be less noticeable. Wouldn't want to give the game away too soon, right?

"It's useless." Tōsen said, preparing to walk around him and stab him in the back of his thigh, "Even the most skilled swordsmen feel fear in total darkness, which slows their reactions. You won't be able to predict my movem-" Ichigo swiped down, and the resulting shockwave blew everything around him away. "Grk." Tōsen was forced back a few dozen steps, "What sheer force! What are you?!" He vanished with Shunpo, slicing into Ichigo's other arm and his thigh before backing away.

"You know, Captain-san… I've got a theory regarding our Zanpakutō. Would you like to hear it?" Ichigo called out to him, making the Captain stiffen in confusion. Ichigo continued, uncaring about whether Tōsen had answered positively or negatively, "I've already said that Zanpakutō are reflections of ourselves. They are you. So, what are Shikai and Bankai?" This was all stuff that he'd discussed with all the other Shinigami in his life, with his own musings. His little lecture was sure to confuse the man, and he only wished he could see Tōsen's face when he got to the good part, "Shikai can be said to be like your public face. Learning your Shikai's name is like becoming self-aware enough to accept who you think you are or who you wish to be. For some, you have cases of 'what you see is what you get,' like yourself. You say you hate bloodshed, and so you have an attack that knocks your opponent unconscious. Bloodless, easy, quick."

"Where are you going with this?" Tōsen asked, despite knowing that Ichigo couldn't hear him.

"Of course, yours has a second ability too. An overwhelming attack designed to kill quickly and relatively painlessly. The perfect Shikai for someone professing to stand for justice and who follows the path of least bloodshed." Ichigo was pacing, occasionally taking some cuts that caused him to flinch or hiss in pain. Occasionally, Tōsen had to kick him away before he could reach his Bankai's boundary, now interested in what Ichigo had to say. "Of course, this isn't always the case. Some people have unrealistic views of themselves, of course. Some people delude themselves into thinking they're someone they're not."

The entire time, Ichigo had been analyzing Tōsen's Bankai, and realized that there were very brief flashes of not-quite-so-dark darkness every time he'd been cut. Touching Suzumushi must cancel the effect, even if the black dome surrounding them still made it incredibly dark. "So, what is Bankai, then? It's incredibly rare, because it forces people to confront their delusions to see who they really are at their core. For some, that means a Bankai that is completely different from their Shikai. Ran-chan told me about Kurotsuchi's Zanpakutō. His Shikai seems sinister, but could potentially have some benign uses such as very precise surgery where total numbness is not an option for risk of nerve damage. His Bankai, on the other hand, shows that he's a toxic fuck to everyone around him." Damn if that incident where dozens of Shinigami died because Mayuri was in a rush hadn't pushed his 'son of a doctor' button when Rangiku had told him about it. His was one of the few Bankai she knew about as Mayuri had used it a fair number of times in the last century.

Despite himself, Tōsen let out a grudging smile. Yes, that did describe Mayuri perfectly, didn't it? He even gave Ichigo a respite for it.

"For some though, what you see is truly what you get, like Hitsugaya. Ice and much more ice. Not very complicated." Ichigo continued.

"A fascinating theory, though I still do not know where you're going with it." Tōsen sliced Ichigo twice more in a burst of Shunpo, cutting open his right cheek and his left hip.

But Ichigo hadn't even flinched that time, "So where does that leave us with Suzumushi Tsuishiki: Enma Kōrogi?" He asked, and Tōsen stiffened, "Total sensory deprivation, except for the sense of touch, allowing you to easily perform one simple, decapitating stroke to end a fight with the least amount of pain possible. You could even do so with an army if needed. The perfect Bankai for someone professing to be a man of justice."

Tōsen smiled, considering simply severing Kurosaki's Hakusui and Saketsu and leaving him alive.

But Ichigo's next words froze his smile like glass, "But you're not killing your opponent in one blow, are you?" Ichigo's vicious smile made a return as he got to the fun part, "Oh no, you've been having fun carving me up like a Christmas roast."

"Shut your mouth." Tōsen snapped, stabbing Ichigo in the foot, and making him grunt in pain.

Still, Ichigo laughed, "What's wrong, Captain? Did I strike a nerve?"

"Shut up!" Tōsen slashed his stomach, not even noticing the blow didn't go as deep as he wanted.

"This isn't the Bankai of a man of justice! This is the Bankai of a cowardly sadist!" Ichigo swiped his sword again, blowing up the terrain beneath them. Tōsen appeared behind him and slashed him in the back.

"YOU KNOW NOTHING, BOY!"

Ichigo swiped behind him, barely missing the incensed Tōsen's hairline, "You toy with your prey in here!"

"SHUT UP!" SLASH

"You're probably getting off on it! Seeing me groan in pain every time! Why else would your Bankai not shut touch off as well?"

"SHUT! YOUR! DAMN! MOUTH!" The now completely enraged black man roared, spraying Ichigo's back with his spittle as he carved him up a dozen times.

BOOM! Another downward swipe caused an explosion, "You don't care about justice!" Ichigo crowed, laughing at the increasingly vicious blows he was taking. The Captain hadn't even realized Ichigo's High-Speed Regeneration had gone into effect, nor that his blade wasn't biting as deep anymore now that he had started hardening his Hierro just enough so that Tōsen's strikes were barely papercuts. "The only thing you care about is vengeance without suffering the consequences of getting caught! That's why you have a Bankai that only serves to hide your true face from the world!"

"DIE!" Tōsen brayed, completely uncaring about Aizen's interest in this boy now. He charged forward and stabbed Ichigo in the heart. Only his blade skidded up rather than penetrating. "What?!" And before he could react, Ichigo caught the hand holding Suzumushi in an iron grip. He groaned as Ichigo crushed his fingers, and then Ichigo's head crashed into his nose, shattering the delicate organ. He reared back in shock, before Ichigo's other fist crashed into his gut so hard he lifted off the ground. Blood erupted from his mouth in a spray, but Ichigo merely hit him again, and again.

He vomited when he was finally allowed to land, now completely panicked. "And while I've got you here where no one can see us…" If Tōsen could see, the slasher smile on Ichigo's face would have haunted him for the rest of his life, "The Vizard send their regards."

Tōsen froze, 'He knows?!'

"Yeah, that's right, you son of a bitch! I'd tell you to tell Aizen we're coming for him next, but…" Ichigo threw Tōsen around, before his Zanpakutō appeared in his hand again. He then dragged Tōsen forward while swiping.

"GAHHHHHH!" Tōsen screamed at the top of his lungs as Ichigo cut his arm off at the shoulder. Around them, Suzumushi Tsuishiki: Enma Kōrogi popped like a balloon, returning them to the real world.

"You'll be too busy being dead." Ichigo finished his statement, dropping the man's arm and then vanishing in a Sonido.

'C-Captain Aizen…' Were the coward's last thoughts as a brief flash of agony heralded his head flying through the air. His body fell to its knees as Ichigo allowed his Zanpakutō to disappear. He stared at the corpse, his heart hammering and his stomach feeling like it was doing flip-flops. He quickly gathered up Tōsen's body and head and vanished with a burst of Sonido.

-[-

Ichigo had no way of knowing, but he had drawn more of Soul Society's attention than had been expected. Rather than allowing his Captain and Lieutenant to simply go about their duties, the Sōtaichō had again summoned his subordinates to observe the mission using Kurotsuchi's spy bugs. "Bit unusual, Yama-jii." Kyoraku mumbled to his master, a curious look on his face. He, Unohana, and Ukitake were the ones standing closest to him; one member of the old guard, and the other two were the old man's best students.

"The boy interests me." Yamamoto admitted, "He took former Lieutenant Matsumoto's Shinigami power, and yet seems to have surpassed her in a mere two months. Urahara's presence also complicates things. I think we all know that if they wanted to disappear, we'd never actually find Matsumoto or the boy." He eyed the screen, which was turned off at the moment, "A human child of sixteen years." He said dryly, "And his fellows did something a vast majority of our men could not do. It is… irritating."

"Peace has lasted for centuries." Unohana Retsu closed her eyes, "It cannot be helped. We do not have the enemies we once had."

"Hmm." Yamamoto grunted noncommittally, "It is beginning. To your posts."

"Sir." The three obeyed, and the screen lit up, showing the footage of Hisagi and Tōsen confronting the two. For most of the Captains, this was a formality. Kenpachi honestly wouldn't even have been paying attention if he hadn't wanted to see what the boy could do.

They listened as Rangiku explained why she had done what she had, and Hitsugaya scowled fiercely, "This is ridiculous! Six Huge Hollows working together? Camouflage so perfect an unsealed Lieutenant-class fighter couldn't sense it?!"

"That is concerning." Aizen replied, "Intelligent Hollows do not work together. They're too busy devouring each other."

"There are exceptions to every rule, you know." Ukitake let out a light cough.

"Looks like Rangiku-chan had a good reason for doing what she did." Gin said lightly, his easygoing smile not faltering, "We will be taking that into consideration, right?"

The old dragon rumbled, his eyes open and firmly locked on the screen.

Byakuya closed his eyes, "Reason or no, one of our most sacred laws has been broken. We all know the story of Kūgo Ginjō." He opened them, "And the young fool is only making her position worse." He said as Ichigo blatantly refused to allow the elder Shinigami to remove his powers.

"What?!" Mayuri took a step forward, "How did he do that?!" He glared at the Zanpakutō in the human's hand. The scientist was intensely interested in Ichigo pulling his Zanpakutō out of nowhere.

The watching Captains watched in various levels of disbelief as Ichigo not only forced Hisagi to release, but then went further by nonchalantly allowing a dull weapon to strike him exactly like Kenpachi would. None of the assembled Captains had to even bother looking to know that a gigantic smile was practically splitting Zaraki's face apart.

"This is ridiculous!" Komamura roared, "How is this possible?! How can a human have that much Reiatsu?! Matsumoto herself couldn't have done that!"

'How indeed.' Yamamoto watched, intrigued more and more by the lad. He had a thought, and his eyes narrowed, 'He looks like a Shiba.' He would know. Jūshirō's Lieutenant looked just like the boy. 'So, you didn't die after all, you damn brat.' He almost let out an irritated sigh at the realization that one of his old Captains had gone native in the human world. 'And this human brat understands his Zanpakutō better than most of my subordinates. Ōetsu would be losing his mind right now.'

After frying the Lieutenant, Ichigo let him go. Hisagi took Rangiku through the Senkaimon as ordered, leaving Tōsen behind. Komamura growled as he listened to the lad insult his friend and the man's Lieutenant.

Soifon was scowling heavily, "This is blasphemy. Seal or no seal, how could a Lieutenant of the Gotei 13 be defeated by a human brat?"

'I don't think that's the right question, Soifon.' Kyoraku thought to himself, lowering his hat a little so it covered his eyes, 'The better question is 'why was Matsumoto so unconcerned with him fighting a Captain?' She has to know that we would be allowed to release the seal if needed.''

"Ahahaha!" Kenpachi roared in laughter as Ichigo tanked Tōsen's second attack, "Who is this kid?! Where did he come from?!" His knuckles popped as he practically vibrated in place, "Oh, I can't wait to see him here."

"Looks like you won't get the chance." Komamura sneered at the savage Captain as Tōsen used his Bankai.

Gin joined Kenpachi in laughing, "What are you so excited about, Komamura-Taichō? To be forced to use Bankai against a two-month-old Shinigami is a little embarrassing, innit?" A low growl rumbled out from Komamura's helmet.

They continued to watch the black bubble on the screen, though Soifon grew increasingly incredulous, "What's taking so long? It's been several min-" She shut her mouth as the bubble popped, and then her jaw and several others dropped as the result was showcased clearly.

A Gotei 13 Captain relieved of an arm by a human brat. "KANAME!" Komamura sounded horrified as he broke formation, "KANAME NO-" The sound died in his throat as Ichigo cut his best friend's head off. He fell to his knees, staring at the screen with dumbfounded eyes.

Jūshirō broke into a coughing fit as Retsu quickly made her way to him. Gin's eyes were wide open, and his smile dropped for the first time in a long time out of shock. Kenpachi was debating leaving for the human world right now, while Byakuya stared at the screen with narrowed eyes. Hitsugaya gaped at the screen, and couldn't help but feel anger surging as he realized how much worse Ichigo had made things for Rangiku.

"This is impossible!" Aizen was gaping, well and truly gaping at the screen. One of his most loyal subordinates, gone with a swipe of a blade. Externally, he was the face of shocked grief. Internally, he was both furious and utterly elated. 'This is incredible! He's exceeded my every expectation! Is it the Quincy side? The Hollow side? The Shinigami side?' He completely disregarded the human side, 'How far will you go, Kurosaki Ichigo?! What heights will you reach?! Will you join me in the heavens?'

Komamura broke the spell of horror and felt black rage engulf him as he pounded a fist onto the First Division's immaculate flooring. 'Kurosaki Ichigo!' He ground his teeth together as a sound that did not come through a human throat rumbled out of him, "Genryūsai-dono! I will depart immediately to bring this savage to heel!"

Yamamoto had been watching the same broadcast his subordinates had been, and he quietly considered everything he had seen of the boy thus far. Anger at yet another lost Captain filled him, though he couldn't help but wonder at the tactical blunder the boy had just committed. An invasion was one thing. Killing a Captain was another. He had to know that the response would be even more deadly and determined than before. Was it nothing more than the impetuousness of youth? "You will do no such thing." He finally rumbled.

"What?!" Komamura gasped, "But Genry-"

"Tōsen-Taichō used his Bankai, and yet the boy appears to be nearly uninjured." Yamamoto said, "That means that at minimum, any fight with him will require that our men be unsealed. I will not allow this when it is not needed." He closed his eyes, "We have what he wants. He will come to us." He growled at his Captains, "And when he does, you will show him the true strength of the Gotei 13. Prepare your squads. For the first time in decades, it appears we will have Ryoka in the Seireitei."

"Yes sir." The Captains called back out.

"Dismissed." He growled out, turning away from the group. And yet three sets of footsteps got closer to him, not farther. "I said 'Dismissed.'" He turned, seeing Retsu and his two students walking to him without concern.

"Something doesn't feel right." She said, speaking in low tones.

"She's right. The boy has to know how bad of a move that was." Kyoraku confirmed her thoughts.

"If his goal was to save Matsumoto-san, he has to know how much worse he's made things for both her and himself." Jūshirō agreed.

The old dragon stayed silent for a moment. "He allowed one beaten opponent to leave." He said slowly, "Not unharmed, but whole."

Retsu nodded, "Why kill a beaten man after allowing another to leave?"

"Perhaps he felt he had to dedicate his full attention to Kaname, and felt it wasn't worth it to pursue a killing blow on a Lieutenant?" Kyoraku mused, scratching his chin.

Yamamoto couldn't help but feel that wasn't it. There was nothing telling him that. It was just a feeling deep in his bones. One he wasn't used to ignoring. "You have your orders." He said finally, turning and walking away. This time, his Captains listened.

-[-

"WHAT DID YOU DO?!" Yoruichi and Urahara gaped at Ichigo as he dropped a body and head in front of them.

"Killed Tōsen." Ichigo said, before lurching a little, "…I'm going to go throw up now." He vanished.

"That little idiot!" Urahara pulled on his hair.

"Ooooh, this is so bad." Yoruichi massaged her temples, "Soul Society is going to be after us like rabid dogs when we get up there now."

Ichigo groaned as he walked back to them, and yelped as Yoruichi turned into a cat and launched herself at his face. "YOW!" Ichigo yelped as she stuck the claws on all four paws into his face.

"DO YOU EVEN HAVE A WORKING BRAIN?!" She yelled in her cat form's manly voice as he tried to dislodge her.

"OW! GOD DAMN IT YORUICHI, GET OFF MY FACE!" He finally pulled her off and held her by the scruff of her neck. "I know it was a bad idea, but could we really pass up the chance to get rid of one of them?"

"Short-term victory, possible long-term loss." Urahara said, looking uncharacteristically serious. "Our goal was to expose them. Soul Society is going to be much less inclined to listen to us now. Things are going to be even more dangerous than they would otherwise have been."

Ichigo waved him off, "I don't think so. They were always going to be aiming to kill us. And even if they didn't, getting imprisoned wouldn't have been much better. We'd have been slated for execution anyway."

Yoruichi had quickly resumed human form, "We're going to need to step up our plans even more. Ichigo, come with me. We're introducing you to the Vizard now, and then I'm grabbing those three and getting their asses in gear." She grabbed him and the two vanished. And then they reappeared. "Actually." She vanished without Ichigo and came back with a burlap sack, which she stuffed Tōsen's head into. "Maybe something good did come out of it." She grabbed him and they vanished again.

-[-

"Seriously? A warehouse? Could they be any more cliché?" Ichigo snarked as he stared at the unassuming building. He eyed Yoruichi, "And why are you completely suppressing your Reiatsu?"

She was grinning, "Oh, no reason." She passed him a note, "I just need you to read this." And then she vanished.

Ichigo read the note, and then his lips twitched. He inhaled deeply, "WOULD THE SUPER SENTAI REJECTS WITH PISS-POOR COSPLAY PLEASE EXIT THE PREMISES!"

"WHAT DID YOU CALL US, CARROT TOP?!" Ichigo's eyes widened as the voice of a young girl heralded a sandal going through the metal entryway of the warehouse aiming right for his head. Ichigo bent backwards and caught it, holding in a shout of surprise as he was dragged back about three meters. He quickly straightened out and flung the sandal back, smacking a blonde shrimp square in the face and flipping her over multiple times before she landed face-first onto the pavement.

Laughter burst from the warehouse as seven more people exited, a green-haired girl laughing the second hardest. A tall, skinny blonde with quite a weird smile was practically not able to breathe, "AHAHAHAHA! THAT'S HOW IT FEELS!"

Ichigo was smirking as he noticed what the other blonde didn't: the growing number of tic marks on the girl's head. She whirled up with her other sandal in hand and Ichigo swore he heard bones break as she smashed it into the male blonde's face. "What the hell are you laughing at, Shinji-baka?!" He crumbled to the floor clutching his face.

"Damn it Hiyori, what the hell was that for?!" Shinji sat up, glaring at the shrimp.

"What do you think, asshole?! Why are you laughing about a young maiden getting sandal'd in the face?!" Hiyori yelled back, and the two butt heads.

Ichigo grinned, "Jeez, I've heard of old, married couples but you two… Yeeesh!"

"M-MARRIED?!" The two of them yelled, "ME?! WITH THIS IDIOT?!" The two pointed at one another.

"WAHAHAHA! You're even in sync!" Kuna Mashiro started laughing hysterically. "How did we not see it before?!"

Yadōmaru Lisa, the more mature-looking young woman holding what was quite clearly a dirty manga, was smirking widely, "And you didn't even invite us to the wedding?"

"IDIOTS! SHUT UP!" The two yelled.

Hiyori turned to Ichigo, "And you!" She snarled, "Who the hell do you think you are, coming in here and insinuating I would marry an idiot like this guy?!"

"Kurosaki Ichigo." Ichigo introduced himself, crossing his arms.

Some eyes widened, "Hooo, that's a surprise. And what are you doing here?" Aikawa Love asked.

"Sec." Ichigo said before he vanished in a rumble of thunder.

Muguruma Kensei's eyes widened, "That wasn't Shunpo." He said, narrowing his eyes.

"It was Sonido." Hiyori finished his thoughts.

Ichigo appeared again, carrying a hysterically laughing Yoruichi over his shoulder. "WAHAHAHAH! THAT WAS EVEN BETTER THAN I DREAMED!" She wiped the tears from her eyes.

"Yoruichi." Shinji stood to his full height, "Alright, I'll bite. What's the punchline?"

Yoruichi calmed herself, and took a deep breath, "Long story short?" She asked, before jabbing her thumb at Ichigo, "You guys are training him for a bit."

"And why the hell would we want to do that?" Hiyori snarled, "Especially after the insult to start things off and then the jokes at our expense, huuuuuh?"

"I thought you might ask," Yoruichi smirked wide, "So we brought you a gift." She removed the sack from her shoulder and tossed it at Kensei's feet.

The silver-haired man eyed it, before leaning down and grabbing it and lifting it up. The sack turned over, and Tōsen's head came tumbling out. There were sharp inhales from all the Vizards, and Kensei stared at it emotionlessly for a moment. And then he smirked, "Heh, damn if I'm not pissed I didn't get to do it myself." He turned to Ichigo, "This your doing, kid?" Ichigo nodded, "You have any idea what it means to us in particular?"

"Not specifics." Ichigo said, "I know he was one of the responsible parties, but no details."

"Let me tell you then." Kensei crossed his arms, "This fucker was my 6th seat a hundred years ago, and the little bastard hid his Bankai from me until the day he used it to carve me and several fellow division members up so that we'd turn into Hollows." He popped his knuckles just by clenching his fists, "So like I said… I'm pissed I didn't get to do it myself." He grinned menacingly, "So I'll have to spend a while taking it out of your hide."

Shinji snorted as Ichigo smirked back just as fiercely, "Guess that means we're taking the kid, huh?" He tilted his head to the side and stared at Yoruichi, "Why bring him to us? Why not train him yourselves?"

Yoruichi gave Ichigo a light spank, "Why don't you show off a little, Ichi?"

"If you insist…" Ichigo grinned, before staring at Hiyori, "Hey midget-" She was immediately incensed, "I suggest you dodge."

"Wha-" She cut off and dove to the side as a Bala passed by where her head had been.

"Woah!" Mashiro yelped as Hiyori stared, gaping, "That was a Bala!" She jumped forward and started poking at Ichigo, "But you don't have a mask! How did you do that? Are you defective?"

'…Cute.' Ichigo thought to himself, resisting the urge to headpat the girl. "Got Hollow powers, same as you lot." He smirked, "I'm just better at it than you."

Kensei snorted, "Bullshit." He crossed his arms, "You expect us to believe a teenager who probably hasn't been using his powers for more than a year-"

"It's been about four now, actually." Ichigo cut him off, and then he stepped inside a Garganta. He stepped out again behind the group, and they whirled around, gaping, "And judging from those looks on your faces," His smirk grew in size, "Yeah, that's exactly what I expect."

"How?" The part of her that was once the Lieutenant of the Research Division was itching to know. Hiyori shouldered her way past the other Vizard, "How the fuck did you do that? None of us can do that! You didn't even use your mask!"

Ichigo's smirk dropped and he scratched the back of his neck, "Well, I'm different from you lot too. I was born with my Hollow side, and I don't have a mask."

"Well if you were expecting us to train you in your Hollow powers, you can forget it." Ōtoribashi Rōjūrō (or more commonly, Rose) said flatly, a strained look on his face, "If anything, you'd be training us."

"Nah." Ichigo waved him off, "That's not why I'm here." He slipped his hands into his pockets, "If you lot want the details I'll give them, but the short explanation will do for now. Me, Yoruichi, and a group of my friends will be invading Soul Society in about three weeks if things work out the way we think they will. We need to be as strong as possible to survive, and they have to dedicate their attention to my friends or… whatever Urahara will be doing."

"And that's where we come in." The huge man with pink hair (Ushōda Hachigen) mused, "I see now." He lowered his head, "I'd say that's enough talk out here. Would you agree?"

Lisa nodded, "Yeah, let's get inside. I want the details and the surroundings don't need to hear them." She turned and started walking in, wondering just what would cause a human teen to want to invade the afterlife.

"Hold on a second." Hiyori glared and stomped up to Ichigo, and looked up at him with narrowed eyes. Everyone else stopped.

Ichigo stared down at her with a raised eyebrow, "Ya want me to kneel or what?"

"You want our help? Fine." Hiyori surprisingly didn't blow her top, "But we ain't doing it for free. We want your help in return to get stronger as well. You've got abilities we technically should have but don't." She punched her palm, "We got our own gripes with the Seireitei. Or more specifically, the Central 46, and a duo of shitheads. If I have to have these powers, I'm damn well taking them as far as I can and fuck anyone who says otherwise."

"Heh." Ichigo smirked, "You got it, short stuff."

"Why you!" Hiyori threw her leg up to kick him in the dick, and Ichigo quickly blazed next to Lisa with a Sonido.

"Is she always on a hair trigger?" He asked the sexy lady in the schoolgirl outfit.

"Like you wouldn't believe." Lisa let out a long-suffering sigh.

"Man Shinji, the married life must suck. Can't get it up for her anymore?" Ichigo called over his shoulder, and several of the Vizards sputtered and started howling in laughter.

"WE'RE STARTING RIGHT THE FUCK NOW! GET OVER HERE AND TAKE YOUR LUMPS YOU FUCKING BLEACHED IDIOT!" The two blondes leapt at him with sandal and sword drawn.

"IT'S NATURAL!" He yelled before running into the opening "SEE YOU IN A FEW WEEKS, YORUICHI!"

The werecat was howling again, "HAVE FUN, BERRY-KUN!" She called out, knowing it would irritate him, "IF YOU CAN BEAT ALL OF THEM BY THE TIME WE LEAVE, I'LL LET YOU SEE THE GIRLS AGAIN!"

"CONSIDER IT DONE!" He called back before dodging a swipe from Shinji.

"FUCKING PERVERTS!" Hiyori snarled, holding both sandals like swords now. "GET OVER HERE YOU LITTLE SHIT!"

Love laughed heartily, "Well, things have certainly gotten far more entertaining in the past few minutes." The rest of them agreed, even if they wouldn't admit it.

-[-

"Sensei, why am I learning to cast Dankū with no incantation?" Orihime looked confused, "Or any of the weaker shielding Bakudō? Didn't we prove a week ago that my Santen Kesshun was actually stronger than it even with the full incantation?"

"We did." Tessai allowed, "But that does not mean it is not useful to be able to do this, Orihime-san." He gestured for her to sit, and he did so as well, "Let me ask you, Orihime. What would you do if you saw Tatsuki-san injured, and also saw Ichigo-san injured more than a hundred meters away?"

Orihime gasped, "At the same time?"

"Indeed. And now say that both of them are still being attacked, and they will surely die if you can't protect them." Tessai's voice hardened, "Which of them will you pick to survive?"

Orihime glared at him, her expression immediately angry, "Neither! I'll protect them both!"

"How?" Tessai asked plainly, "Your Santen Kesshun can't stretch that far. Nor can they be in two places at once."

Orihime froze in stunned realization, "I… I'd send Santen Kesshun to one, and defend the other with Shunpo and Dankū." She bowed, "Thank you sensei! I had never even considered such a scenario!"

"Yes, I didn't think you had." Tessai let out a small chuckle, "Now get to your place. We will not move on until you can safely block me." They stood and took their positions. Tessai held his palm out and held his wrist, "Hadō #88. Hiryū Gekizoku Shinten Raihō!"

Orihime took a deep breath as the massive blast of lightning approached, "Bakudō #81. Dankū!" A transparent wall appeared in front of her, just in time to intercept the massive electrical storm. The massive blast should have hurt her ears, but they were reinforced with her Reiryoku. The windstorm still blew her hair back and she could feel the heat from the explosion. She didn't dare close her eyes, and she knew why. Dankū cracked. "Santen Kesshun, I reject!" She chanted, and the golden shield sprang in front of her. Not a moment too soon, either. Her barrier shattered, and would have shattered her along with it if she hadn't used her personal shield.

She sank to a knee as Tessai walked over to her with a bottle of water that was enriched with Reishi. She thanked him and drank it greedily, "That's such a drain on the Reiryoku." She mumbled.

"The fact that you can perform it at all is astounding." Tessai said bluntly, "You have no idea how many supposed rules you and your friends are breaking. Your growth is absolutely astonishing. And that goes for all of you." He sat with her again, "Your Reiatsu grows with each passing day. Your spells grow stronger too. You have no idea what the instructors at the Shin'ō Academy would do to have students with half of your growth rate."

"Ehehehe, it's not that good, is it?" She giggled a little nervously at the praise.

"It absolutely is." Tessai corrected her, "Even prodigies have a difficult time casting spells in the eighties, unless they have some natural inborn advantage. Those from the noble clans, for instance, would certainly be capable of it. They have generations of strong Reiryoku to rely on." He looked at her seriously, "But you must consider their age. Rangiku-san was well over a century old. I myself was born five hundred years ago. Even I took a few decades to build myself to the point I could cast more than one high level spell a day."

"We were actually talking about that." Orihime tabbed her chin cutely, "And we think it might be because we're human."

Tessai's eyes widened, "How so?"

"Well, you said it yourself, right? You're five hundred years old, but you don't look a day over forty." Orihime giggled at him.

"You'll make me blush." Tessai laughed heartily at that.

"And the Captain of Kurosaki-san's former division is, what, seventy-three now?" She continued, "But he barely looks much older than Karin-chan and Yuzu-chan, according to Rangiku-chan."

"Hmmm, I'm certainly following your train of thought." Tessai rubbed his chin, "Humans certainly don't live as long as souls. You grow astonishingly fast to those of us who were born and lived in the Soul Society for our entire lives."

"Exactly!" Orihime chirped, "So we thought maybe us being human was helping us… speedrun?"

"Certainly, a fascinating theory. One that is also showing in the twins." Tessai stood, "And one I will relay to Urahara-san. But that's enough of a break for now. We shall continue."

"Yes!" She drained the rest of her bottle and got prepared.

-[-

"Good!" Yoruichi yelled as she dodged another Explosion from Tatsuki's unique ability, "You're getting better at timing those blocks!"

Tatsuki's entire body was matted in sweat, and she was panting like a dog, but she refused to give up without getting at least one hit in. She vanished in a burst of Shunpo, and Yoruichi was proud to see she was much faster than she had been when they had started last week. Ichigo's friends didn't have the insane growth rate that Ichigo had. His Reiatsu was truly ludicrous, and she had little doubt that he could eventually come to be called Kenpachi if he wanted the title. But that didn't mean that his friends wouldn't have left their teachers at the Shin'ō Academy gaping.

Yoruichi casually dodged her kick by inclining back and jabbing two fingers into her calf. "Waah!" Tatsuki spun cartoonishly before crashing into the dirt. "Ugh, damn it." She struggled to get up, and Yoruichi sighed.

"Break time!" The Goddess of Flash called cheerfully, tossing her student a water bottle. "We really need to get you used to Zanjutsu too. It'll be an edge you'll need."

"Ba dum tshhh." Tatsuki deadpanned, making Yoruichi confused for a moment before she got it and snorted. "I don't get it though." Tatsuki said, "You don't use a Zanpakutō. I'm a hand-to-hand fighter, not a weapon user."

"I'm a special case." Yoruichi said, smirking, "And just because I don't use a blade doesn't mean I can't." She grinned wide at her student, "If you'd like a demonstration, I could cut those clothes off you without a scratch in a blink!"

"No thanks!" Tatsuki yelped, covering herself up. This damn outfit was already revealing enough! Her body was for Orihime and Chad's eyes only!

"Besides, you don't even know yet what your Zanpakutō will be. It could very well be a physical enhancement type." Yoruichi said, before tapping her student's blade, "You've noticed, right?"

"Yeah." Tatsuki drew her blade from her back, which had shrunken into a wakizashi at this point. The motion reminded Yoruichi of her little bee, "I thought I was going crazy. Neither Orihime's nor Chad's have changed at all yet. I think at least. I thought maybe the tsuba for both of theirs looked a bit different. But mine was getting smaller basically every day."

"You have the most affinity for yours." Yoruichi sat, "Well, next to our blockhead, of course." She smirked and Tatsuki giggled, "Though just the physical blade not changing overly much doesn't mean theirs aren't awakening as well. You're obviously suited to a smaller blade, as it leaves your other hand free. With Orihime, there isn't much place in her combat form to actually make use of her Zanpakutō. With her personality, she's also much more likely to have a support-type Zanpakutō." She shrugged, "Not a clue for Chad. I kinda expected him to end up with a huge broadsword like Ichigo."

"How do I start communicating with it?" Tatsuki asked, eager to know what the part of her soul that made up her Zanpakutō would be like. She had expected to just use it as an Asauchi for Konsō, but the way it seemed almost eager to be a true weapon for her had her just as eager to know it.

"Hmm, actually, that's not a bad idea." Yoruichi smiled, "Sit however is most comfortable for you and lay your unsheathed Zanpakutō across your lap."

"Will I be meditating?" Tatsuki asked, already somewhat familiar with that.

"Yup. Only you'll be focusing all your mind and soul on your Zanpakutō. It's called Jinzen." Yoruichi explained, "It's the one true method of communing with the Zanpakutō. Though be warned… the Zanpakutō rarely wishes to part with its secrets unless you earn them. And to earn them, you will have to fight or otherwise earn its respect. Any injuries you suffer inside Jinzen will be reflected on your real body."

Tatsuki looked a little pale, "But why? We're the same, aren't we? It's born from our souls."

"It is." Yoruichi nodded, "But that doesn't mean its motivations are the same as yours. It doesn't mean that it wishes to protect the same things you want to protect. It doesn't even mean it respects you." There was more to it as well, but she had kept her lips shut when Ichigo asked. She wasn't about to tell Tatsuki either. "Go ahead now. You won't get anywhere talking to me. Perform Jinzen, and you should probably do so every night as well. The more you do it, the easier it will be to communicate, and the faster your bond will grow."

Tatsuki swallowed, before taking a deep breath and closing her eyes. Yoruichi smiled and laid back, keeping an eye on her student. Every once in a while, she would flick a pebble at the girl, until Tatsuki had stopped reacting to them entirely. "Good girl." The chocolate goddess murmured. She glitched, and then was atop a bunch of pillows. She settled in for a nap.

-[-

"El Directo!" Sado roared, throwing his right arm forward and unleashing a blast of energy at Ichigo's dad.

"Good!" Isshin chuckled as he sliced the attack in half with another Getsuga Tensho. "Your attacks are gaining more power, Chad!" Sado's eyes widened as his opponent's attack approached him. He held his right arm out, and it morphed, becoming a large shield. He grunted as the Getsuga Tensho hit him and pushed him back. "A shield is all well and good!" Isshin roared, "But this is a cumbersome one!" He appeared above Sado and slammed his sandal into the boy's face, shooting him away violently. "It blocks your vision! You can't afford such a thing in a fight!"

Sado got up with a wince of pain, "I don't feel as if I'm improving as fast as the others, Ichigo's dad."

Isshin rolled his eyes, "Call me Isshin already, Chad." He crossed his arms, "It's natural for you to feel that way, but don't be discouraged. You're strong. You're fighting a Captain-level fighter using his Shikai with only your body. You can't feel your own growth because I'm just that far ahead of you. I wasn't a low-level Captain, you know?"

"Even still." Chad sat cross legged, "Orihime is exceeding expectations with Kidō, and Tatsuki is already close to awakening her Zanpakutō."

"Everyone had their talents. Yours just happens to be in hitting things and tanking them too." Isshin shook his head, "Do you have any idea what would have happened to you if I had hit you with an Ikkotsu when we first started training you kids? You'd have been splattered against the wall and we would have had to get Orihime to save your life." He walked over to Sado and jerked his shirt down, revealing a nasty-looking fist-shaped bruise on the boy's chest. "Just because what you're learning is basic doesn't mean it isn't important. Old man Yama could disintegrate a Hollow's torso with an Ikkotsu. You're tough. You're big. And you're a wall. What you need is refinement. You need to get faster. You need to get even tougher. You need more stamina. At this point in your development, Kidō would just be a distraction. We both know you don't have a whole lot of aptitude for it, and you already have a good, ranged attack in El Directo. Some Bakudō spells would help, sure, but we don't have time for that."

Sado was silent for a moment as he considered his trainer's words, "There was actually something I wanted to discuss with you." He said, finally. "You've noticed, right?"

"Noticed what?" Isshin blinked, looking at him curiously.

"That my unique powers seem more Hollow-like in nature." Sado replied.

Isshin nodded, the confusion dispersing, "You're wondering if you might be able to use Hollow abilities too? I have no idea." He said honestly, "And even if you can, I have no idea how to train you in it. You'd be better off asking the Vizard for that, but I have no idea if they'd be able or willing to help either."

"Hmmm." Sado slumped a little, wondering how to break through this gap that he felt was starting to form. 'My powers are Hollow-like. Hollows…. Hollows live to consume, don't they?' And then, he had an idea. "Isshin…" He looked up at him, and then told Ichigo's dad what he had just thought of. An evil grin crossed Isshin's face.

-[-

Ichigo hadn't been sure what to expect from the Vizards. Starting his training off that very afternoon with the three ladies of the group attacking him at once hadn't been it, but he was having a blast. "Mashiro Super Kiiiiiick!" With her voice distorted by her Hollow powers, she roared as she threw her right leg upwards. A massive shockwave traveled upwards towards Ichigo, who dodged it handily by backflipping and falling back to the ground. He landed as her attack momentarily cracked the barrier surrounding them, and immediately had to dodge a swipe from Kubikiri Orochi.

He grabbed Hiyori's leg. "Oh, fuck oOOOOFF!" Hiyori yelled as he started to spin her around and around before throwing her like a shotput at Mashiro. She smashed into the green-haired girl and the two ladies smashed into the barrier causing it to flash dangerously. "What the fuck are you made of asshole?!" She snarled as she got to her feet.

Lisa was the third of the three former Lieutenants fighting Ichigo at once, and she yelled as she swiped her katana at him repeatedly. "Senmaioroshi!"

"Woah!" Ichigo yelped as he blocked the hundreds of slashes with his own blade, feeling like he was trying to block a chainsaw. He grunted as he broke the eventual bladelock with a hard shove back. He dove at her with his blade raised, but she bent back and put a hand on the ground.

Spinning, she yelled out, "Panty Flash Tornado!"

Ichigo's eyes widened as her heel smashed into his face and spun him around for another kick to hit him. And then another, and another, and the final one was powerful enough to send him cartwheeling through the air cartoonishly as Lisa hopped back to her feet.

Hiyori snarled, "What the fuck, Strawberry bitch?!" She stomped up and kicked him over, "You've been beating our asses like drums all damn day! Of all things, THAT was what hit you?! You didn't block a single one!"

Ichigo rubbed his jaw, "Well, tell her to name her attacks better!"

"Huh?" Lisa blinked, "What do you mean?"

"'Panty-Flash' assumes there are panties to be flashed!" He pointed at her, an intense look on his face.

Lisa actually blushed a little, "Ah, right, I suppose it is Thursday."

"What the fuck, Lisa?!" Hiyori's jaw dropped, and her eye started twitching.

Ichigo grinned, "Also, wasn't expecting clean shaven. Nice!" He gave her a thumbs up.

"DIE, PERVERT!" Hiyori dove at him furiously, trying to chop his head off.

"Actually, it's waxed!" Lisa called out with an amused smile as she put her mask back on, "And since you're weak to seduction tactics apparently, I won't be wearing them for the rest of the week either, cherry boy!"

"You just caught me by surprise!" Ichigo retorted as he grabbed Hiyori by the face and threw her at Lisa. The lithe woman Shunpo'd out of the way, and grunted as he crashed down on her with his Zanpakutō. He jumped over a sliding dive-kick from Mashiro and casually fired a Bala at her with his free hand, causing her to yelp in shock as she was driven into the ground.

"Mouu, that was mean, Berry-tan!" The verdette pouted outrageously, not that he could see it. "Mashiro Super Cero!" She leapt up and with a very long winding motion, kicked out at him. A large, lime-green Cero that looked more like one of his dad's Getsuga Tensho sliced towards him.

"Cero!" Lisa yelled as well, forming hers at the point of her sword in a rich, royal purple.

"Triple Cero!" Hiyori sounded as pissed off as usual as she formed a Cero in front of her mouth and one in each hand. The three red doom blasts rocketed forward.

Ichigo simply grew an insane grin as the three (technically five) attacks all raced towards him. He hardened his Hierro and quickly realized he needed his Blut Vene as well. "Come on, come on!" He grit his teeth and braced.

The cataclysmic blasts that rocked through the barrier nearly shattered it. The fiery explosions forced all three young women back, with Lisa tanking it the best. "Shit." She cursed, "Ichigo you idiot! Are you alright?!"

The smoke cleared, revealing Ichigo standing there, his entire body tense and clenched. His hakama pants were shredded, and his armor, cloak, and bandages were all blown off of him. His body was covered in burns, but it didn't look as bad as it could have.

"Shit, Hachi! We need healing for the idiot here!" Hiyori yelled out to the giant.

"According to who?" Ichigo called out before Hachi could drop the barrier. His wounds started to steam and instantly, his regeneration got him back to full health. The jaws of all of the Vizards dropped. His shit-eating grin made a triumphant comeback. "You guys ready to take this up a notch?"

"No, I'm fucking not!" Hiyori stomped up to him, "What the fuck was that?! You have High-Speed Regeneration too?! What the fuck are you? How are you doing this shit?!"

Ichigo smirked down at her, "Just your average human/Shinigami/Hollow/Quincy."

"Wait, what?!" Shinji gaped, "What do you mean Quincy?! You're a Quincy too?!"

"What, you didn't know?" Ichigo blinked, "My mom was a Quincy."

"But that doesn't make any fucking sense!" Kensei looked pissed, "I lived through the fucking purge! I was a Captain even then! Hollow Reiatsu is anathema to Quincy, and vice versa! That's why Quincy destroy Hollows! You can't fucking be both! You get annihilated!"

Ichigo could have explained, but he decided just to fuck with them. "Skill issue."

Kensei's eye twitched, "That's it. I'm killing you now!" He dove into the barrier and threw Mashiro out, "Blow it Away, Tachikaze!" His blade turned into a tiny trench knife, and he immediately sliced a vacuum blade at Ichigo.

"Go rest, Hiyori." Shinji patted her on the head as he passed by, his eye twitching just a tad, "Let's give the kid a taste of what Zanpakutō combat feels like when they're not direct combat types. Collapse, Sakanade!" His katana morphed slightly as it straightened out of its curve, looking like it now had small circles cut out along the blade. The pommel became a large ring, which simply floated now with his hand inside of it.

"I suppose I'll help too." Rose brushed his hair to the side, "Play, Kinshara." His sword transformed into a golden whip.

Ichigo blocked the wind blade with some difficulty, and blinked as he sniffed the pink mist Sakanade was emitting from Shinji's spinning, "The hell is that?"

Rose whipped at Ichigo's chest, and Ichigo positioned his blade to deflect the point of the whip. Only that wasn't what happened. "Guh!" He grunted as something pierced him from behind. "What the?" He started feeling dizzy as he realized that the ground was the sky, and the sky was the ground.

Rose sighed, and strummed his whip like a guitar, "We won't be going easy on you, Ichigo. Kinshara Sōkyoku Dai Jūichiban - Izayoi Bara!" He called out the extremely long-winded name of his Shikai's special ability. A loud strumming sound traveled to Ichigo extremely quickly, before exploding.

"FUCK!" Ichigo coughed out a bit of blood as his regeneration went to work. 'Kay, real Captains are no joke. Hierro hardened and Blut Vene on standby at all times.'

"Did you not know that Zanpakutō could do more than just enhance combat directly, Ichigo?" Shinji grinned wider, "Welcome to my Inverted World."

'Inverted, huh?' Ichigo thought to himself as he got up, 'I guess that means all senses of direction are reversed. Back and forward, left and right, up and down.' Testing it out, he fired a Bala at Shinji, only it passed right through him like Shinji was not physically there. He simply wavered, his grin wide as he lazily spun Sakanade on his wrist.

"Yeah, it's a strange feeling, isn't it? It's difficult to fight when everything is reversed. Your reflexes tell you one thing, but they're lying to you." Shinji continued to lecture, but he had already given Ichigo too much info.

He wasn't near the top of his class for nothing, and his battle instincts were top notch. 'It's just an optical illusion.' He realized, before throwing his hand over his shoulder and firing a Bala exactly opposite of where he was seeing Shinji. The illusion's eyes widened and quickly raised Sakanade to block. He easily took care of the attack, but Ichigo had just wanted information, "So do you usually monolog and tell your opponent exactly what he needs to know?" He drawled, his smirk coming right back.

"Heh, you're a smart kid. But can you do that in real time, with us trying to hurt you?" Shinji grinned back. "You might have figured it out, but that won't actually matter."

"Bet." Ichigo's smirk grew even wider as he raised his Zanpakutō, "Engulf the World and Blacken the Skies, Gōzen Raiu!"

And then there was lightning.

-[-

"Where have you guys been?!" Keigo yelled at them, looking actually hurt. "We looked, and looked, and looked, but none of us could find you! I was so worried I didn't even play my games!"

Chizuru hugged Orihime and Tatsuki tightly, "You were all gone." She said tearfully, "We, we almost didn't even want to go outside."

Ryō looked down, "We were trying to be strong after what you told all of us, but…" She rubbed her arm, "But then you guys just disappeared."

"You even missed the festival." Mizuiro said sadly, with Michiru nodding next to him.

"Sorry guys." Orihime said sadly, "But we've only got three days off before we leave again."

"Why?" Mahana said, almost snapping, "After-after all of that, we-we're not even going to have you guys to help guide us?" She looked to be near tears, "Those guys you were with wouldn't even teach us how to defend ourselves! They said they were too busy! Ho-how can we even feel safe…" She hugged herself, and was surprised when Ichigo pulled her into his chest in a hug.

"I'm sorry." He sighed, "But we did warn you that you didn't want to know." He said softly as the normally outgoing and peppy girl clenched his shirt like a lifeline. "Do you guys notice anyone missing?" He asked softly.

"Missing?" Keigo looked around, before jumping, "What the heck?! How did I miss her? Where's Matsumoto!?"

"That's why we're leaving." Tatsuki said softly, looking away from her friends.

"Rangiku was taken back to the Soul Society." Ichigo said softly, "And charged with the capital crime of giving her powers to a human."

"Wh-what?!" Ryō backed away, "What are you saying, Ichigo?"

"He's saying that Rangiku has been slated for execution." Sado rumbled, and Mizuiro and Michiru lost feeling in their legs and slumped down. All of them looked at the gentle giant in complete and utter horror.

"That's why we've been gone, and why they were too busy to train you." Orihime said, looking sorrowfully at them, "They were too busy training us."

"Y-You're not serious." Mahana backed away, trembling, "You're not really-"

"Going to go bloody the afterlife's noses?" Ichigo asked sardonically, "You bet your ass we are."

"You can't!" Chizuru wailed, trembling, "This is crazy! You told us some of those guys are thousands of years old! They're going to-"

"Do what they will." Ichigo said, "And we will do what we must. We're saving Rangiku, and if I have to go through the entire Gotei 13 to do so, that's what's going to happen."

"We're far stronger than you know, guys. We've been training very hard." Tatsuki said softly, before raising a fist and jabbing. They all saw the air noticeably churn around her fist, and whirled around to see a small crater get blown out of the grassy bank.

"Woah…" Keigo, Ryō, and Mahana gasped, while the others merely stared in silent shock.

"We're leaving in three days. August 15th." Ichigo said.

Ryō sighed, "After hearing that they have Rangiku-chan, I can't even argue against you guys going. She was our friend too. I want to go." She looked down at her feet, "But I'd just get in the way."

They all knew it was the truth. He clapped a hand on her shoulder, "After that, it should be okay for you guys to go over to the Shōten and start learning. We'll make sure that they help you." Ichigo told her, "It won't help now, but maybe someday."

"Yeah." She nodded, before wiping a tear from one of her eyes.

"Well then." Keigo put on a brave face, "If you've only got three days, that means we've only got three days to enjoy the summer with you." None of them dared think that it would be the group's last together. Whirling around, Keigo transformed into Keigo, "LET'S ENJOY OURSELVES TOGETHER! WE'LL MAKE OUR OWN FESTIVAL!"

"And he's back." Tatsuki chuckled, putting an arm each around Sado and Orihime. Ichigo chuckled as he helped Michiru and Mizuiro to their feet. As they walked, Ichigo mused that he really should have hit Uryū a few times before letting Ryūken have him. Keigo had reminded him of the missed festival, and he couldn't help but think about how much he would have liked to see Yoruichi and Rangiku in summer yukata.

-[-

"You'll get her back, won't you, Ichi-nii?" Yuzu asked her brother tearfully as she hugged him tightly.

Karin scoffed, "Of course he will." She crossed her arms, "They'll be back before you know it."

Ichigo chuckled as he pulled his tsundere in for a hug as well. The blushing girl pretended she didn't enjoy it, "Yeah, that's right." He chuckled, "We're just waiting on Urahara's cue to gather now."

Karin looked at the clock. "It's one AM now, isn't it?" They usually didn't stay up this late, but they knew their brother was off to war. They weren't spending a single minute less with him.

"Looks like it." Isshin got up and opened the window, "Why he didn't just have you go there, I have no idea." He mumbled, knowing it would have been quicker. "Hmm, it's a nice breeze today." All four of them blinked as a twinkle appeared in the sky. Isshin moved out of the way and their eyes all tracked the large ball with Urahara's face on it as it shot through the open window. It burst on the wall, coating it in what looked like a blood splatter. "…For fucks sake, Kisuke." Isshin groaned as his children stared aghast at the message.

Gather in front of Urahara Shōten immediately.

"Ewww! It looks like blood!" Yuzu teared up.

"That damn hat-n-clogs!" Karin growled, "It looks like it was written by a murder victim in their own blood!"

Ichigo snarled, "I'm gonna kill him. It'll be his blood on the next one!" The blood continued to slide down the wall, revealing a postscript.

PS: To those who saw this and thought it was some written-in-a-murder-victim's-blood horror movie cliché: you have no sense of humor.

"Can I kill him first?" Karin threw a pillow at the mess, beating only Ichigo's throw.

"After I come back from the Seireitei." Ichigo sighed, before opening his arms.

His sisters dove at him and hugged him for all they were worth, "Don't you dare lose, okay, Ichi-nii?" Karin said, her tone uncharacteristically pleading.

"You come back, okay?" Yuzu was already crying as he held them close.

"I don't plan on losing." Ichigo said, "I've spent three weeks doing nothing but sparring with the Vizard. They're all strong." He smirked, "Very strong."

"Just don't get in over your head, son." Isshin walked over, and the two men hugged for once, rather than attacking, "And whatever you do, don't try to fight the old man."

"Not even a little?" Ichigo chuckled at the look on his dad's face.

Isshin turned a little blue, "I sparred with him once. Once." He shuddered, "Hit him with everything I had, and he smacked me with a half-assed Ikkotsu and put me through a wall."

Ichigo laughed, "Man, what I wouldn't do for a picture of that."

"So mean!" Isshin cried, before getting serious. "Be safe, son."

"You got it." He turned away from his family, not wanting to see Karin and Yuzu's teary faces, "See ya in a week or two." He said, before he vanished from their home.

Karin and Yuzu didn't last two seconds, before Isshin found his arms full of scared daughters, "They'll be okay, right goat-chin?"

"Yeah." Isshin put on a strong face, "Your brother is strong, and so are his friends. They'll be just fine…"

…

Ichigo reappeared in front of the Shōten in his customary rumble of thunder. He sensed that his friends weren't there yet, so he leaned on the wall to wait. It didn't take long for them to appear in their own bursts of speed. He quirked an eyebrow, "What's got you looking so down, 'Hime?"

Orihime was pouting outrageously, "I was told I have no sense of humor."

Ichigo couldn't help the snort, "God damn it, Urahara."

"That shit better come off on its own, or else I'll clean it with his face!" Tatsuki punched her palm.

"Wow, you kids really don't have a sense of humor." And there was Urahara, smirking slightly, "Don't worry so much. It'll evaporate after an hour or so." He opened the doors, "Come in, and have those ears ready, otherwise you won't make it there alive."

…

"Alright then." Urahara called out, and snapped his fingers. "As I was exiled from Soul Society, I am unable to make a regular Senkaimon." Two large stone pillars rose behind him, "Thankfully, this substitute is easy enough." He grinned widely, "Especially with our new trick. Why, I didn't even have to add the Reishi Henkan-Ki to it. Go ahead and transform, kids."

They all did so, with Ichigo assuming his usual wear, and Tatsuki now wearing her Onmitsukidō outfit, courtesy of Yoruichi. Sado and Orihime didn't look much different, as expected, "Shouldn't we get shihakushō for them as well?" He asked, "Would be much easier to blend in if they're in disguise."

One moment the air between them was empty, and the next Yoruichi was there in cat form, "Unfortunately," He still couldn't get used to her male cat voice now that he knew what she truly looked like, "Every Shinigami is assigned to a division, and it would be fairly easy to verify that they do not actually belong to one."

"Indeed. If you guys manage to pull it off, all the better. I would recommend the 4th for Orihime since she is already a healer. But the rest of you aren't going to be doing any blending in, in all likelihood. Especially you, Kurosaki-san." Urahara said, "Now pay attention, because this next bit is very important." He now looked as serious as they had ever seen him, "We will only be able to keep this artificial Senkaimon open for four minutes. That isn't truly an issue with your speed, and you'll definitely be able to make it to the end."

"What's the problem then, Hat-n-clogs?" Tatsuki asked, hands on her hips.

"The problem, is that we'll be attempting something very dangerous." Urahara replied, "You see, our goal is of course to rescue Matsumoto-san, and quite frankly, we don't have a lot of time left. Did you not wonder why I waited to create this Senkaimon? Why we did not send you off immediately once you finished resting from your training?"

"I had wondered that." Sado said, "You had a lot of time on your hands since you weren't training us yourself."

"Exactly." Urahara said, spearing them all with his eyes, "Allow me to explain what you will find inside the Senkaimon. Inside is the Dangai, inside which time is two-thousand times denser than any of the outside worlds."

"Woah!" Tatsuki gaped, "So you could train in there!"

"You're almost right." Yoruichi said, "Inside the Dangai is the Kōryū, which prevents souls from moving if you're caught by it. It doesn't matter how strong you are. If you're caught by the Kōryū, you are almost certainly dead because you will be unable to move."

"Exactly." Urahara nodded, "But there is one more thing inside the Dangai, which is the Kōtotsu. Think of it like a street sweeper that passes every seven days. If you touch it, you die. Simple and understandable."

"This is fascinating and all, but what the hell does it have to do with our mission?" Ichigo asked gruffly.

"Everything." Kisuke said, "Because we've timed this mission for when the Kōtotsu will be running through the Dangai." He lowered his head, allowing it to shadow his eyes, "Allow me to explain. You do not die because it kills you. You die because it will throw you from the Dangai on an altered time axis, sending you hundreds of years either backwards or forwards."

"Holy shit!" Tatsuki exclaimed, "But why the hell are you sending us now then?"

"Because we're going to make use of that property of the Kōtotsu." Urahara replied, "As long as you're not touched, these pillars will keep you safe. The only one of you allowed to interact with the Kōtotsu is Orihime-san. As long as ONLY her shield touches it and not her Shun Shun Rikka, we'll be able to gain an extra week or two with the full benefits of this rest period you all were given."

"Holy cow!" Orihime had stars in her eyes, "You're like a super genius, Urahara-san!"

Urahara laughed lightly, "Why thank you, my dear." He kneeled at one pillar while Tessai did so at the other, "Are you all ready?"

"We were ready a week ago." Ichigo said, "Let's fucking go already!" He cracked his knuckles in preparation as all of his friends got their game faces on.

"Then-"

"Not so fast." A new voice called out, before the owner appeared in a Shunpo.

"Lisa!" Ichigo blinked, "What are you doing here?" The Vizard was now with them dressed in her usual sailor schoolgirl outfit.

"Going with you." She said plainly, "Not all of us agreed with how we've dealt with the past a hundred years." She crossed her arms, "It's long past time that we get involved again, in my opinion. And I know several of the old guard. I might be able to get them to listen and smooth things out for us." She sighed, "I just wish more of us were more proactive about this. Some of them don't want anything to do with Soul Society directly though. Not even to help take out Aizen."

"Welcome aboard then," Ichigo smiled gratefully, bumping her shoulder lightly with his. "Even if it's only you who came, this will make things a lot easier."

She smiled at him, before turning to Urahara, "Get me one of your special cloaks, Urahara. It'll be best if I can sneak around unnoticed until we're ready to go wild."

Urahara nodded after looking at the clock. "You leave in forty-five seconds. Be right back." He vanished, and twenty seconds later he appeared with a cloak, which he threw at Lisa. He kneeled again as she put the cloak on. "It's all up to you now." He said, "Good luck!" He yelled, before he and Tessai opened the Senkaimon. All six of them disappeared from the living world.

-[-

And, that's a wrap! We're on to Soul Society!

So, who had "PV has Ichigo kill Tōsen" on their bingo cards? Cuz shyeeet that's a huge fucking change. The people who are going to be gunning for them are going to be pretty different now! LOL Komamura is out for blood!

That theory Ichigo used to fuck with Tōsen was basically developed by The Sinful, the writer of Vow of the King, another bleach story, on my server. We pretty much all love it. I know it seemed a bit out of place to start off with, but I was going somewhere with it, and that was Tōsen's breakdown. I'll probably be making extensive use of that in the story.

Brought in the vizards early too. Three guesses what I'm doing with Lisa. :p

And yes, the other Karakura teens will have powers, but limited roles in the story. They are background characters after all.

Next month's public update will be That Time I Got Flung Across Worlds & Fell on my Big Tiddy Redhead GF chapter 4. For those interested in that one, I've already posted chapter 6 and will be posting chapter 7 concurrently with this public update on my pat re on. Working on chapter 8 too, so hopefully that one will be done for a mid-month update. After that, I think I'll try to work on either One Piece or this story again. If anyone is interested in Game of Thrones, I started a new fic that will remain exclusive until I have a bit more content to post since I have no idea when the muse will decide to go back to that. Did three chapters for one fic and another bunny that I posted as well. Those are up on patty. Had a HotD one too but I didn't finish that before the muse fucked off. I'll get back to it eventually lol.

Anyway, hope you all enjoyed! Later!