This story is written chronologically, unlike the TV show. Read all chapters in order as they are posted here, and do not skip any chapter.
Chapter 1: Help Wanted
The sun rose through the shrouds of the oceanic abyss.
It's rays glinted off the floor of the ocean.
The sea was teeming with rich, diverse, anthropomorphic sea creatures.
The light of morning seemed to shine the most on an underwater town called Bikini Bottom.
The residents began to stir from their slumber and began to go out to their daily jobs.
The town restored it's status as active after the activity of the night.
An octopus known as Squidward walked along the street in a sour mood, in his signature deadpan face. One of his tentacles was holding a certain hat that was considered employee uniform to a certain restaurant. He had poor fashion sense with a plain brown shirt as his casual wear, although he views such clothing in a polar opposite light. His opinions and talents are far more superior in his eyes but he can not escape reality. People don't like him and Squidward constantly rants and put them down when they shine, appropriate punishment for being unappreciated.
However, he carries much intelligence.
He knew as of now that his job of working as a cashier in the most popular fast-food restaurant in the sea, the Krusty Krab, was a choice of desperation out of unemployment. He knows he's constantly unhappy with the job, obtaining money and putting it in the cash register instead of in his wallet.
Another microstep in the long journey to escaping the Krusty Krab and entering success.
"Another day of this insanity in that dull and unartistic dump they call a fast-food restaurant."
He kept walking until he stopped at the front door of the dining establishment.
'Let's get this over with.'
He turned around and faced the distant horizon, at the same time he put on his employee hat which had the trademark anchor.
Squidward folded his arms and waited for his boss.
The establishment behind him is in a state of very poor condition. Years of questionable business practices leaned it's ugly head for all to see. The building looked like a century-old lobster trap but it was designed like that on purpose before it became a restaurant. The wood was very frail and it could be a matter of seconds before another repair was needed on the ceiling or floor, both were covered entirely in the ancient wood. Glass covered the front, left, and right sides of the restaurant, several tables in the shape of steering wheels used for ships and barrels for seats could be observable.
An opened clam sign on a stick said 'The Krusty Krab' in red paint.
The place screamed cheap, the boss himself was a retired pirate.
Then, the sound of scrambling crab feet became subtly louder every second.
Squidward looked up to see a silouhette beyond the horizon.
"Mr. Krabs, as always..."
8:00 AM was just around the corner.
"Ahoy there Squidward!"
Mr. Krabs walked to Squidward and saluted him in such a manner as a pirate would do.
Squidward rolled his eyes, he seemed bored.
"Hi." Squidward replied with the enthusiasm of a robot.
Mr. Krabs was a crimson crustaceon. With pointy eyes sticking out of a hardened, aged shell and claws that would prove very useful in combat, he was in his mid-life years. Years of being in the pirate business lead to infinite amounts of experience in the subtle ways of ripping people off their money and long stories of such schemes he could tell. His clothes seemed a bit old and out of date, a prime indicator of his personality. Ever since he was a child he was fascinated by money and swam in greed. Looting treasure and saving money gave him a satisfaction that only people with extreme avarice could desire. His needs for material wealth lead to him constantly save his money, the fear of being poor was too great. The prices of food in the Krusty Krab was enough of an early warning of such behavior.
Mr. Krabs tries to pursue goals in life with endless determination, even if they are related to greed.
Mr. Krabs was in a cheerful mood and was grasping the keys to the entrance of the Krusty Krab. Fantasizing his potential profits for the day.
A golden key glistened in the sunglight, swaying in Mr. Krabs' claws.
He inserted it in the keyhole and unlocked the door.
The door slowly opened.
Mr. Krabs immediately walked in and flipped the sign behind the door from CLOSED to OPEN.
He took a deep breath, he came to enjoy the smell of grease that bombarded his nostrils.
Mr. Krabs smiled.
"Another day of money!"
He walked to his office and shut the door.
Squidward groaned and walked slowly to the cash register. The machine itself was on top of an old boat, once again fitting the charming theme of 'cheap' to the restaurant.
Squidward sat down and took out a book to read, attempting to outlast the burden of waiting for customers.
The environment became still and silent, a relief to Squidward.
'Way better than cooking at the grill.'
He thought to himself rightfully so. He was the only employee in the restaurant, giving him dual status as fry cook and cashier. He preferred cashier due to his poor cooking skills and the simplicity of the role.
'Thirty, Thirty One, Thirty Two..."
Mr. Krabs counted yesterday's profits with enjoyment, he was in his office. There were a few seats, a desk, and the knooks and crannies he leaves his money in.
He was considering the specific chores and special duties Squidward would partake for the time being.
"It's been two months since the glass outside was washed, gotta show my ship with pride."
He then abruptly put his money in his desk and opened the door, double-checking how clean the glass was.
He saw graffiti on the glass, a sneaky vandal must have done that during the night.
'Not on my watch.'
Squidward noticed Mr. Krabs eyeing the windows.
"Squidward! Go fetch a towel and bucket and clean that graffiti on the double!"
He shut the door and returned to his money.
Squidward got up and opened the door to the neatly-organized kitchen.
He grabbed a bucket and poured it with water from the sink.
He grabbed towels from a table.
Marching back to the main room Squidward was prepared to wash off the grime.
In the middle of his march to the doorway, an eery prediction entered his mind when he saw the 'help wanted' sign through the window.
He stopped in the middle of his walk.
"Do I hear any washing? Get back to work!"
Mr. Krabs muffled voice echoed throughout the building.
'Never mind, it's highly unlikely...'
Squidward seemed mildly annoyed.
He opened the doors and gently slid out to the outside world.
Taking precaution that his bucket of water won't spill.
Squidward dropped the bucket to the floor.
The graffiti said 'LOSER' with Squidward's face on it.
"Oh Neptune do I hate doing this."
He put a towel in the water and began rinsing the graffiti.
With a steady pace he withered down the air paint.
After putting some effort in the force of his brushes, the stains finally gave way.
The deed was done.
He wiped his brow.
A gentle breeze coursed through his body.
Squidward relaxed and smiled at the fact he can now go back to his reading.
Until a sudden shadow could be seen at the edge of the horizon through the reflection of a window.
Several minutes earlier...
A snail slept peacefully,
under a pineapple under the sea.
The room he was in was an odd spectacle (let alone the house). With strange furniture such as a foghorn alarm, triple matress bed, and a treasure tchest scattered across the room. Many other rooms would definitely fit the theme of weirdness.
The snail himself was sleeping on newspapers.
A square yellow sponge immediately jumped into action and shut the foghorn off.
This youth is known as SpongeBob. He is one who yearns for life. Always finding the positive out of the negative, the good out of the evil. As you can tell by his usual facial expressions he has an optimistic view on life. In his mind and heart, he is Peter Pan. The eternal youth. He lacks much in maturity and decides to act on impulse, which can lead him to becoming annoying. However, he never means to annoy someone on purpose to begin with. He acts selfless to the people around him and that itself is a redeeming quality. At the end of the day he always has to fix what he has done to others and find some way to make up for it.
SpongeBob stepped out of his bed, in his underwear.
The snail was wide awake, drowziness filled his eyes. Grumpiness filled his mind.
He looked at SpongeBob.
"Todays the big day, Gary!" SpongeBob had a wide smile on his face.
"Meow." Gary nearly droned.
SpongeBob immediately climbed on a ladder on his bed.
Like a squirrel climbing on a tree he reached the top with breakneck speeds.
SpongeBob was jumping on a diving board with enthusiasm.
"Look at me, I'm-"
He made a huge jump and soared up like a rocket.
The force to the jump was strong enough to pull his underpants off.
SpongeBob then locked on target and dove to a certain part of the floor.
He flew like a missile.
Disaster was looming around the corner.
Gary showed signs of concern as SpongeBob succumbed to gravity.
He landed on his hanged clothes with sniper precision.
His face emerged from the clothes. He was in his casual attire of a red tie, white shirt, and brown pants with a belt. Topping it all off with shiny black shoes.
"Got to be in top physcial condition for today, Gary."
He bolted to a door, twisted it open, and slid down a slide at the speed of a bullet. He was in a massive library where shelves of books and ladders reached to the glass ceiling.
SpongeBob ran down to an entrance of a dark hallway, once he got midway through he immediately turned right and faced another door.
He quickly opened it and ran in, more out of fear of the dark than urgency.
'Better put a nightlight there next time.'
He ran into a mini gym. However, it seemed to be of the type used in kintergarden. A banner that said 'I Love Pain' hanged on the wall. There was a blue mat in the center of the room with a barbell balanced by animal dolls that were light in weight. Other goofy equipment was organized neatly throughout the room.
SpongeBob wasn't an athlete in terms of physical strength.
He took a deep breath and faced the challenge awaiting him.
He walked to the center and eyed the barbell.
He took a few more deep breaths to prevent too much anxiety from escaping, it would only hinder his physical performance.
He sticked out his chest.
Gary peeked from the door, panting and sweating as if he just did an exercise regiment of his own. All the snail did was simply catching up with SpongeBob.
Spongebob gripped the barbell tightly.
'I can do this.'
'I can do this.'
'I can do this.'
With all the strength he can muster from his muscles, he tried to lift it up.
Arteries showed in his face.
His face contorted in concentration.
Sweat ran down his brow.
The barbell was lifted by two inches.
The barbell was dropped on the floor.
A deep sigh from SpongeBob.
"I'M READY!" SpongeBob yelled.
He dashed back out of the hallway at blinding speeds.
Everything was a blur.
He dashed through the kitchen
Through the living room.
He opened a door.
He was outside standing on his front lawn.
He took another deep breath.
While he was chanting his announcement he was running down the street.
He was facing forward and was confident at where he was going.
He passed a certain rock.
A chubby pink sea star was sleeping comfortably in a bed.
The room was very dim.
Strangely, all the furniture including the bed were made out of sand.
A dark brown, circular surface was the ceiling.
This person mostly lives under a rock,
an odd and not very bright choice for a home.
Everything was peacefully silent except for the snoring coming from the sea star.
A muffled scream could be heard outside.
The sea star's eyes flung open.
He took off the sand blanket.
He apparently was only wearing light green shorts with purple flowers on them.
He walked quickly to the center of the living room.
He crouched down...
and jumped hard to the ceiling.
The rock flew open.
The sea star was stuck to the rock on the way up.
He could see SpongeBob, his best friend, go off down the street towards a particular fast-food restaurant.
"Go SpongeBob!" He cheered.
He then slowly teetered off the rock...
and collapsed to the floor.
The rock closed above him.
The sea star is well known for his lack of intelligence. This however never prevents him from having sudden bursts of enlightenment, his I. Q. varies wildly in certain spans of time. His absolute lack of manners only makes circumstances worse. However, this gives him a relaxed attitude since his ignorance gives him bliss and gives him the groundwork for thinking things through (if he's lucky). The sea star constantly idles around his home and is unemployed, getting money from his parents.
SpongeBob stopped running.
He stood still and marveled what was in front of him.
He saw the Krusty Krab in all of it's glory. Sparkling before his eyes like the gates of heaven.
"There it is. The finest eating establishment ever established for eating. The Krusty Krab, home of the Krabby Patty. With a 'help wanted' sign on the window! For years I've been dreaming of this moment! I'm gonna go in there, march straight to the manager, look im straight in the eye-"
SpongeBob narrowed his eyes.
"Lay it on the line and..."
Suddenly SpongeBob realized the likelihood of being hired. The majestic look of the Krusty Krab didn't help as it made the intimidation far worse. He was only 23 years old, he just finished college, and did plenty of odd jobs after that. This was the only reason he could afford a decent home. Unlike many people, SpongeBob just couldn't find his talent and he doesn't even know his own capabilities. He probably won't be hired since the boss might think he is one of those people who lounge around and do nothing all day like Squidward (SpongeBob clearly knew Squidward worked there).
"I can't do this!"
He slowly turned around with a disappointed face.
He looked at the ground as he walked away, forgetting employment until he can brush up on his skills so as to experience that special moment later on.
It wasn't impossible.
Suddenly he collided into a large pink belly.
He looked up.
For sure, the sea star was there. His arms were crossed and his brow was raised.
"Where do you think you're going?" Patrick stated in a stern voice.
"I was just-"
"No you're not. You're going to the Krusty Krab and get that job!"
SpongeBob paused a bit to collect his words.
"I can't, don't you see? I'm not good enough!"
Patrick kept a firm look at SpongeBob as he leaned in and rested a hand on his shoulder.
"Buddy, I know you can do it. C'mon, you only live once."
SpongeBob futilely tried to turn around, once he did so he took a step with wobbly legs.
He then immediately turned to face back at Patrick, still too hesitant to take action.
He looked at the ground, not giving eye contact.
"This isn't the SpongeBob I know! He would've tried and at least see some sunshine in the end."
It was a miracle, Patrick had a surge of inner wisdom.
"Ever since high school you said you wanted to work at the Krusty Krab. You got excited every time you saw it, thinking of what you could do if you worked there. You worked hard through school so as to have that special hat on your head."
"Buddy, this is your chance. Take it."
SpongeBob felt pressure the magnitude of that of the bottom of the ocean if he was a land dweller. His limbs shook violent like they were experiencing mini-earthquakes. Sweat ran down his face.
His mind shut down and it was now only fight or flight.
SpongeBob was about to take the 'flight' decision until he realized Patrick was stil standing there.
"Then I have to get it out of you." Patrick smiled. "Whose first words were 'May I take your order'?"
A light bulb in SpongeBob's head lit up.
"Who made a spatula out of toothpicks in the wood shop?"
The memories surged through SpongeBob.
"I did." He stood resolute, courage began to envelop him.
Patrick was about to say something...
but had a brain fart.
His intelligence returned to that of an idiot.
Patrick's face visibly contorted as he searched through his mental library to find another thing to say to encourage SpongeBob.
"Who's a, uh, who's uhh."
SpongeBob looked confused and surprised.
Patrick found the right words.
'Aha!' "Oh! Who's a big yellow cube with holes?"
"I am!" SpongeBob smiled and spoke with enthusiasm.
Patrick's 'counseling' worked like a charm.
SpongeBob took a deep inhale and began his chant once more.
While doing that, he ran straight towards the Krusty Krab with determination.
It wasn't so far away now.
Squidward turned around and focused on the approaching shadow in the horizon.
He winced when he heard the faint chant of a particular voice which belonged to a certain abomination.
Only one thing stood out in his mind.
"Oh no, SpongeBob. What could he possibly want?"
The voice became more clear as the yellow sponge became further visible.
Squidward tried to figure out why SpongeBob was running towards the Krusty Krab.
He turned around and saw the pleasant 'help wanted' sign.
He then thought of his most horrifying nightmare coming true.
SpongeBob would work alongside him in the Krusty Krab.
His prediction might possibly become reality.
His heart beat went up exponentially.
A sweatdrop ran across his face.
'Oh no. Oh Neptune no...'
He had to take action.
He opened the entrance to the Krusty Krab with fury and ran inside at top speeds.
He knew one person to contact.
Meanwhile, Mr. Krabs was pleasantly sniffing his money. He wanted to keep a good eye on Squidward so he looked out through the ordering window which was right behind the cash register.
Mr. Krabs jumped at the sound of Squidward's screaming.
Squidward stopped right in front of him.
"Hurry Mr. Krabs, before it's too late, I gotta tell you about-"
The doors flew open.
"Permission to come aboard, captain!" SpongeBob stated with a booming voice.
Squidward slowly and steadily turned his head in horror.
Mr. Krabs went wide-eyed.
"I've been training my whole life for the day I could join the Krusty Krew..."
"And now I'm ready."
SpongeBob took a step forward slowly as if he just landed on the moon.
Right before his shoe touched the floor, his shoe made contact with a loose nail sticking out of the ancient floorboards.
'Uh oh.' SpongeBob thought.
He collapsed face-first to the floor.
As he did that Squidward and Mr. Krabs watched him with extra attention.
SpongeBob's absorbent skin absorbed the fall.
He then abruptly bounced up to the ceiling.
The wood of the ceiling shook from the vibrations.
After sticking on the ceiling for a few seconds SpongeBob once again fell back to earth.
Once he touched the ground he immediately bounced to a window and then to the adjacent one.
All hell broke loose.
He bounced from tables, barrels, a pole, a few doors, the floor again, and nearly hit Mr. Krabs.
A gasp escaped from Mr. Krabs.
Squidward jumped to the boat and Mr. Krabs followed suit.
Their eyes peered beyond the edge of the wooden boat and carefully watched the rest of the chaos unfold.
As that happened the building shook violently from constantly getting hit by SpongeBob.
Eventually, SpongeBob decelerated each consequtive bounce.
He hit the floor and spun like a spinning top.
Squidward and Mr. Krabs stood from where they hid and walked close to SpongeBob.
SpongeBob stopped spinning and laid there on the floor.
"Heh heh. Oops." He smiled. "So, uh, where do I start?"
Mr. Krabs sighed. "Well lad, it looks like you don't even have your sea legs."
SpongeBob recognized who he was talking to. "Mr. Krabs please, I'll prove I'm fry cook material. Ask Squidward, he'll vouch for me." He then looked at Squidward, his apparent 'friend', with hope.
Mr. Krabs and Squidward briskly walked away from SpongeBob.
The faced each other and looked like they were about to begin a long conversation that would determine the fate of SpongeBob's career.
Squidward took a deep breath. "No." He smiled.
Mr. Krabs winked.
They were about to pull off a cruel scheme on SpongeBob.
They quickly walked back to SpongeBob.
"Well lad, I'll give you a test, and if you pass, you'll be in the Krusty Krew!" Mr. Krabs smirked.
SpongeBob stood up and paid attention.
"Go out and fetch me..."
SpongeBob took out a notepad from his pocket and prepared a pencil, ready to write down anything.
Mr. Krabs thought of the most ridiculous things to scavenge.
"A, uh, hydrodynamic spatula..."
SpongeBob wrote as fast as possible.
"With um, port-and-starboard attachments..."
Intense scribbling from the sponge.
"And, uh...turbo drive!"
SpongeBob jotted down the last of the notes.
"And don't come back til you get one!"
Mr. Krabs searched through his pockets until he found an employee hat.
Time froze as SpongeBob witnessed Mr. Krabs putting a hat on top of his head.
It sparkled, it was brand new.
SpongeBob took out a mirror and looked at his reflection.
He marveled at how perfect the hat looked being worn by him.
He put the mirror away and made a wide grin.
"Aye, aye captain!" SpongeBob made a military salute.
SpongeBob read his notes while speaking.
"One hydrodynamic spatula, with port-and-starboard attachments, turbo drive, coming right up sir!"
"Carry on." Mr. Krabs waved.
SpongeBob turned around and headed out the door with enthusiasm and excitement.
He felt as if he was knighted.
SpongeBob ran as fast as a bullet and could no longer be seen through the horizon.
"We'll never see him again." Mr. Krabs turned to face Squidward. He felt relief.
"You're terrible. A hydro-what?"
Mr. Krabs made a deep pirate laugh while Squidward laughed by his nose honking.
Soon it ended.
"Alright. Back to work." Mr. Krabs made a command and then continued to sniff his money.
Squidward sat in the boat and continued to read his book.
Unknown to them, a threat was brewing on the horizon.
Some time later.
A group of buses were driving down a road.
They drove past a sign that said 'Bikini Bottom'.
The buses were driving at high speeds that were exactly the speed limit.
Inside them sat hordes of hungry anchovies.
Making hundreds of meeps every second.
The group of anchovies all gathered to have potentially the biggest feast they've had in a long time.
Before they knew it, the buses were in downtown Bikini Bottom.
A few honks from other boatmobiles could be heard as the buses swerved left and right.
The drivers were desperate to get those meeping demons off the bus.
The discord reached a breaking point.
"Hey! Hey! Please! Passengers are to stay seated and put their hands out the window!" One of the extremely irritated drivers shouted.
The anchovies reeked of ignorance and were stubborn to behave.
The driver groaned.
The buses passed by a few more businesses until they found their target.
The driver smiled as he finally saw his destination over the horizon.
Soon he would be spared of hearing those accursed meeps.
The Krusty Krab.
The very faint sound of a meep could be heard.
At that moment Mr. Krabs stopped sniffing his money,
He put the money back in his wallet.
His eyes narrowed.
He peered carefully around the Krusty Krab.
As if trying to find the source of the meep
Squidward was still deeply absorbed into his novel. His feet were on the cash register.
Mr. Krabs ran to the windows.
He watched the rapidly incoming silhouettes of autobuses like a hawk.
The drivers prepared themselves for the rapidly incoming figure that was the Krusty Krab.
Once they were a few feet away from the building they took a vicious swerve to the left.
The anchovies fell from their seats and landed in piles on the floor. They made meeps of surprise.
The five buses parked around the perimeter of the Krusty Krab.
The doors opened abruptly.
Mr. Krabs heard the sound of the doors opening.
His eyes popped open.
"That sounded like hatched doors!"
Squidward jumped from his seat and saw the buses parked outside.
He put down his book and became irritated. He crossed his arms as he impatiently waited for the customers.
Before long a strange scent wafted in the air.
Mr. Krabs was familiar with the smell.
He made several sniffs.
"Do you smell it? That smell. A kind of smelly smell. A smelly smell that smells smelly."
Mr. Krabs watched as an anchovy got off the bus and take a step outside.
"What?" Squidward replied grumpily.
As if on cue hordes of anchovies in the hundreds burst through the buses.
In a single mass they overwhelmed the doors to the Krusty Krab and exploded into the interior.
A flash flood of anchovies spilled over the room.
Meeps to the point of deafness resounded throughout the restaurant.
Mr. Krabs and Squidward camped out in the boat of the cash register.
"Please, please, quiet!" Squidward shouted with an artery on his forehead. He was exhausted from hearing the meeping.
It could be heard throughout the room and was louder than the meeps.
Miraculously the anchovies suddenly became silent.
They slowly turned around and faced Squidward.
"Is this any way to behave, hmmm?"
One anchovy was brave enough to say a meep.
"Could we show a little decency and form a neat, single file line in front of the register?"
The anchovies stared at Squidward for a long and painful minute.
The meeps resurfaced and escalated to higher volumes...
as they ran and charged to the boat.
The enraged anchovies picked up the boat.
SpongeBob ran throughout Bikini Bottom.
Tall buildings flew past him and he made sure to steer clear of pedestrians.
'I think I know a place.' A light bulb lit up.
He was searching throughout Bikini Bottom for the item Mr. Krabs asked.
So far he had no success.
He took a sharp turn to the right and he was running through a parking lot.
Soon he skidded to a halt.
In front of him was a supermarket in the shape of a treasure chest. A sign above the entrance said 'Barg'n-Mart'. A skull and crossbones stood below it.
His idea was about to be put to the test.
He walked inside.
He grabbed a shopping cart and dived into the several isles.
Not too many people were around to shop so it was easy to navigate.
"Barg'N-Mart, meeting all of your spatula needs."
He sang as he walked between isles.
After a few minutes of roaming, so far there wasn't a single high-tech spatula in sight.
Squidward and Mr. Krabs tumbled within the boat as it was being tossed around by the anchovies.
They were sailing through rough anchovies waters.
"All hands on deck! Get your anchors out of your pants!" Mr. Krabs shouted in desperation. Trying to sound louder than the constant meeps.
"One single file line was all I asked!" Squidward said as he nearly fell off the boat.
Suddenly they flew into the air as their feet no longer touched the boat.
They were aware that the anchovies would tear them to spreads if they landed on the floor.
"Whoa! Batten down the hatches, !"
They collided back to the boat.
The anchovies lifted them off the boat once again.
Putting more force into the push.
"We're taking on water, !"
They nearly touched the ceiling.
They crashed down to the boat.
They nearly tumbled from the force of the impact.
"I want my mommy, !"
They displayed faces of anxiety as they dreaded their next flight into the air.
SpongeBob was walking down the last isle.
The products were kitchen utensils and appliances.
"Do do do do do do, spatula, spatula, port-and-starboard attachments." He continued to sing.
There was a slight shine while looking through the left shelf.
At close inspection...
The object was in his hands.
It was a hydrodynamic spatula. Fortunately the last one available.
He tossed it quickly inside the cart.
'Gotta make this quick.'
SpongeBob backed up the cart.
After a few seconds he pushed the cart.
He jumped and sat on the edge of the cart.
He rode it all the way to the registers.
Fortunately, no one was in the way as he speeded through the 'go-kart'.
The cart decelerated as SpongeBob browsed through the waiting lines.
He found one register with only a few people.
SpongeBob regained control of the cart.
Then he waited...
Took a few steps.
The anxiety was killing him.
Took a few steps.
Sweat ran down his face.
Excitement overflowed in his mind,
There was no one in front of him.
"Yeah, yeah, right. Heheh." SpongeBob made a nervous smile.
He gave the spatula to the cashier.
After scanning the object and determining the price.
"That would be $50.00."
A hefty price but much worth the sacrifice for SpongeBob.
SpongeBob took out his wallet and gave the money.
The cashier put the money in.
SpongeBob dashed out the supermarket.
He stood in front of the store with the spatula in hand.
"Can't wait to tell Mr. Krabs..."
SpongeBob looked at the object and then inspected it.
"What does this do?"
He pressed a button.
The red LED light on top of the spatula head began flashing.
Two extra heads popped out.
The two heads began spinning rapidly
SpongeBob soared up to the sky at a moderate pace.
However, he focused on the spinning spatula heads and not the diminishing ground.
"Wow, imagine serving Krabby patties like this..."
He noticed that he no longer felt the ground.
He looked down.
Barg'n-Mart was only a somewhat small treasure chest below.
"W-woah!" SpongeBob gripped the handle tightly as his legs dangled in the air.
He tried to calm himself down.
As the sponge looked around, nearly the entire Bikini Bottom was viewable.
SpongeBob caught his breath in awe.
He saw the Krusty Krab. Buses were surrounding it.
"Oh yeah! Can't goof off now. Maybe I can impress Mr. Krabs by serving customers with this spatula here!"
He leaned forward.
SpongeBob darted to the Krusty Krab at high speeds.
He smiled and was enthusiastic about presenting and showcasing his find to Mr. Krabs.
The meeping stopped.
The anchovies backed up and left the boat on the floor.
However, it was suspiciously quiet.
Squidward was about to drop a foot on the floor.
Mr. Krabs put a claw up.
His eyes narrowed.
" . Don't. Move. A. Muscle."
Squidward's foot retreated and the both of them stood as still as statues.
They glared at the anchovies.
The anchovies took another step back.
The anchovies became a tsunami and converged on the boat.
The wave moved rapidly and pummeled the boat.
Squidward and Mr. Krabs were wide-eyed.
Instead of tossing the boat in the air, the anchovies pushed the boat...
Towards the pole.
The pole zoomed into focus in a few seconds in front of Squidward and Mr. Krabs.
"ABANDON SHIP!" Mr. Krabs shouted above the noise.
Squidward and Mr. Krabs jumped with all their might.
They floated into the air.
The boat smashed to hundreds of wooden pieces. The cash register flipped in the air and sunk into the anchovies. The pieces of the boat flew across the large room and then fell to the floor.
The anchovies weren't phased.
They surrounded the pole.
Time resumed to normal.
Mr. Krabs and Squidward were soaring up to the ceiling in midair.
"HELP!" Squidward screamed in terror.
"MAN OVERBOARD!" Mr. Krabs announced.
For a moment Mr. Krabs noticed that they were flying adjacent to the wooden pole.
"Climb, ! CLIMB!"
Squidward looked at the pole he was next to.
He clung to the pole.
Below Mr. Krabs also clung to the pole.
Right now, this dull and unimportant mast has become their lifeline.
Squidward climbed for dear life.
Soon Mr. Krabs caught up to him.
They were both right below the ceiling.
Anchovies attempted to climb up the pole but failed miserably and slipped off.
There were meeps of frustration.
Then some of the anchovies jumped on top of their brethren.
The horde of hungry customers tried a different formation.
The ones standing on top pulled back like sling shots by other anchovies.
Anchovies whizzed past Mr. Krabs and Squidward like bullets.
Their iron-clad grip to the pole strengthened.
One of the anchovies nearly hit Squidward.
Squidward teetered and held on with one sticky tentacle.
A sweatdrop ran down his brow.
Squidward climbed even further up and almost hugged the ceiling.
"Hold on !"
"Why do you keep calling me ?!" An artery showed on Squidward's forehead.
"DO YOU WANT TO STAY ALI-"
An anchovy crashed hard on to the wooden mast.
The pole shook violently from the impact.
"AAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHH!" Both Mr. Krabs and Squidward screamed as they withstood the 'wood quake'.
The vibrations subsided.
"Phew." Squidward wiped his brow.
Anchovies were no longer flailing around in the air.
They retreated from the pole...
They ran to the edge of the room where the ordering window and a few doors resided.
They leaned back.
'Dear Neptune no.' Mr. Krabs shuddered.
Squidward shook from severe anxiety.
The anchovies prepared for a second tsunami wave.
The two immediately realized their fate.
"This is the end. Goodbye, ." Mr. Krabs stated solemnly.
"Oh Mr. Krabs!"
Tears formed in their eyes and they sobbed.
The anchovies walk slowly...
Their pace gradually quickened...
The height of the wave rose exponentially in the process.
The horde of anchovies locked on to Squidward and Mr. Krabs.
The chance of knocking them off the mast was guaranteed.
The two that were clinging to their final breaths of life were doomed...
SpongeBob dashed through the sky like a comet.
His skin was burning from the velocity.
He used all the strength he could muster from his thin arms to stay on track.
Rooftops bellow him became speeding pellets.
Soon the road enlarged.
SpongeBob kicked his feet at the last second.
Mere inches from the ground.
The spinning spatula maintained a normal altitude.
The windows of the Krusty Krab popped into view.
It was speeding towards his face.
SpongeBob was an inch away from the glass.
He witnessed hordes of anchovies run at accelerating speeds towards a mast.
A wave of anchovies formed.
Mr. Krabs and Squidward clung helplessly to the mast, crying while doing so.
The anchovies suffered from extreme gluttony and this was quite obvious to SpongeBob.
"I know what to do!" SpongeBob snapped his fingers and made a wide smile.
He dove forward to the doors.
Squidward and Mr. Krabs closed their eyes.
Awaiting the inevitable...
The double doors flew open.
"Permission to come aboard captain!"
Red LED light blinking.
Spatulas spinning like fans.
A yellow sponge soared and flew in close to the ceiling.
The wave jolted and shook.
A foot away from the mast.
The anchovies lost balance.
The wave collapsed on itself.
Meeps of surprise and confusion.
Squidward and Mr. Krabs went wide-eyed. Their jaws dropped.
"What in the world..." Mr. Krabs spoke silently in shock.
"Da da da da da da da! Da da da da da da da da da da!" SpongeBob sung a heroic chant as he flew towards Mr. Krabs.
"Did someone order a spatula?" SpongeBob stopped in front of Mr. Krabs. "That's right! One hydrodynamic spatula with-"
The two twirling spatula heads extended further and were barely visible. SpongeBob indicated this more clearly by pointing at them with his fingers.
"port-and-starboard attachments, and let's not forget the turbo drive!"
SpongeBob made the mini-spatulas spin at a higher speed. It accidentally smacked across Squidward and Mr. Krabs' faces.
SpongeBob bit his lip.
"Would you believe they only had one in stock? To the kitchen!" SpongeBob flew quickly to the ordering window.
"Who's hungry?" He screamed below to the stunned anchovies.
SpongeBob flew through the ordering window.
He landed on the floor.
The kitchen was assorted with utensils and ingredients.
SpongeBob knew all the ingredients and steps required to make krabby patties by watching how Squidward cooked them when SpongeBob himself was a customer.
He ran towards a table where the ingredients rested.
With the hydrodynamic spatula he dove in.
The spatula shredded and grinded through the ingredients.
Slices of them flew in the air and surrounded the table.
Eventually they landed neatly in piles.
SpongeBob ran towards a closet.
He opened it and took out bags of krabby patties.
He threw the patties on the grill like shurikens. He turned the grill on and put it on a high temperature. The patties were cooked to the right temperature and were flipped within nanoseconds by the spatula. SpongeBob ran back to the closet and took out a bag of buns. With ultra-efficiency he made the krabby patties while carefully following the steps.
SpongeBob peered out through the ordering window and used his spatula like a baseball bat as he threw krabby patties at the anchovies.
Rapidly some anchovies munched on the Krabby patties and left some money.
This left the other anchovies more ravenous and they charged at the metal wall.
SpongeBob shook as the anchovies attempted to barge through the room.
Mr. Krabs and Squidward bit their lips and continued to hold onto the mast.
He haphazardly kept making Krabby patties.
His legs wobbled under the force of the anchovies.
There wasn't any time to stand and wait for the anchovies to stop.
He pushed his speed past the limits and dished out more Krabby patties. He was like a machine gun as he fired at numerous anchovies.
More and more ate and left money in the air.
After a few minutes his limbs felt weak.
His cooking speed faltered.
His muscles ached at increasing rates.
He almost tripped at one point.
'I can't stop now. Not when I'm this close.'
After slowing down a bit more the anchovies began making slight dents at the metal walls. They were becoming more and more desperate.
SpongeBob closed his eyes.
His face contorted in concentration.
His limbs became a blur as krabby patties were served so fast they flew at supersonic speeds.
Only a crowd remained and soon most of them left the Krusty Krab.
The last anchovy swallowed the patty and left.
Money littered the floor in piles.
The anchovies returned to the five buses.
The buses promptly turned and drove out of the perimeter of the Krusty Krab. They continued to drive down the road.
The faint specks in the horizon vanished.
SpongeBob smiled, satisfied with what he has done.
He lowered his arms and took a deep breath.
Mr. Krabs stared at the money on the floor.
He drooled at the magnitude of the profits he had just earned.
The crustacean slid down the pole, facing down and looking at the money while doing so.
Mr. Krabs landed on the floor, careful not to step and dirty the money.
"Can you get me a huge bag to fit all of my green children?" Mr. Krabs asked.
SpongeBob nodded his head and obeyed. He searched through the kitchen-
Large sounds of objects collapsing to the floor could be heard as SpongeBob continued his search.
He opened a cabinet under the sink and there the bag laid.
SpongeBob opened the door and tossed the bag to Mr. Krabs.
Mr. Krabs caught it with his claws and opened it up.
Column by column he scooped up the money from the floor and put it in his bag.
SpongeBob ran in and assisted with the collection.
The bag begun to get heavy.
"Can you get me a wheelbarrow while you're at it?"
SpongeBob dashed into the kitchen and found a wheelbarrow quickly.
He dashed back out and was carting it in his hands.
Once the floor was clear Squidward decided to drop down to the floor.
It was safe for him to do so without aggravating Mr. Krabs.
A collossal bag of money rested on a wheelbarrow.
"By the way lad, what's your name?"
"SpongeBob SquarePants." SpongeBob stated his name with pride and did a military salute.
"Well then. That was the finest fast foodsmanship I've ever seen, Mr. SquarePants! Welcome aboard!" Mr. Krabs smirked and put a name tag on SpongeBob's shirt. "You've earned it."
SpongeBob's eyes glistened as he looked at the name tag.
Squidward walked to Mr. Krabs with drooping shoulders and disappointment all over his face.
"But, but Mr. Krabs-" Squidward spoke solemnly.
"Three cheers for SpongeBob! Hip-hip!"
"Hooray, Mr-" Squidward spoke the 'hooray' quietly.
"Hooray." Squidward barely said the word this time.
"Hooray. Mr. Krabs!"
"I'll be in my quarters, counting up the booty." Mr. Krabs wheelbarrowed the money to his office, he shut the door.
A familiar sea star walked toward an also familiar building.
'I wonder how SpongeBob's doing...'
Patrick stood in front of the Krusty Krab. It was unknown to him that SpongeBob was employed.
He was curious as to SpongeBob's success.
Suddenly his stomach grumbled.
Patrick was moderately hungry. Perfect timing.
Patrick opened the door.
The pieces of the boat were gathered in a pile.
Squidward was a bit tired from finding all those pieces.
He put the cash register below the ordering window.
Squidward sat on the floor and leaned on the wall, procrastinating on fixing the boat.
"Good morning, Krusty Krew!"
Patrick walked inside the Krusty Krab. He stopped in front of the cash register. He looked up at the Galley Grub.
"What would you like to order, Patrick?" Squidward spoke without any passion. Uninterested in his work as always.
"Uhhhhh.." Patrick was deep in thought.
Squidward became impatient.
"One Krabby patty, please."
SpongeBob jumped in place back at the kitchen.
His instincts kicked in and he prepared Krabby patties at a rapid pace. His arms became blurs in sonic movement.
SpongeBob hasn't cooled down from the recent battle with the anchovies.
In a matter of minutes Krabby patties were made and shot across the ordering window.
Squidward almost had a heart attack.
Squidward flinched and ducked.
Patrick went wide-eyed.
Once the Krabby patties hit him he was overwhelmed. He was pushed by the velocity of the burgers.
He burst out the entrance.
He landed on the outdoor ground with a loud THUD.
The patties stacked in piles above him within seconds.
Patrick was heavily dizzy.
The world spun like a wheel.
SpongeBob bore a plastic grin and a sweatdrop ran down his face.
Squidward sat back up.
He turned to look at SpongeBob.
He made a vicious glare that pierced SpongeBob's soul.
SpongeBob made a wider grin and he became very nervous. The hands holding his machine spatula wobbled.
After a few seconds of glaring a light bulb lit up in Squidward's head.
He wasn't going to let the yellow demon further ruin his life that easily.
Living as a neighbor to him was already near Squidward's limit.
Squidward stood up from the floor.
SpongeBob relaxed a bit until-
"Mr. Krabs! Mr. KRABS!" Squidward sung. He was dashing toward the door. Even his walking almost seemed like dancing
SpongeBob's eyes widened.
He flew the kitchen door open and chased Squidward.
"No! No! Noooo!"
He grabbed Squidward's ankle.
However, Squidward's hand was on the door handle to 's office.
He was a knob's pull away from salvation.
Squidward looked content, already feeling as if the deed was done.
He twisted the knob.
SpongeBob grabbed his ankle.
The door slowly slid open...
Mr. Krabs could be seen monotonously counting his money...
The money bag leaned against the desk...
Squidward opened his mouth...
SpongeBob had a look of horror...
As fast as he fulfilled his dream, his dream would decay and crumble. SpongeBob's efforts would be put to almost little use, only used at one moment of feeding ravenous anchovies. He would return to the days of odd jobs, the days of wandering around Bikini Bottom and finding a purpose would become reality before his very eyes...
"Squidward! Please don't!"
"Mr. Krabs, come see your new employeeeeeeeee!"
Mr. Krabs looked annoyed from Squidward's interruption.
"Leave alone Squidward. The lad needs to adjust to his new environment." Mr. Krabs said this while he continued to count the money mentally.
Squidward's face turned re.
He stomped out.
Squidward shut the door behind SpongeBob, who no longer grasped his ankle.
"Don't worry your head off lad. He's always grumpy and lazy on the job. However, I can't fire him. Better off having him then me having to do all the work."
He stood up and smiled.
SpongeBob walked out the door and leaved.
Patrick shuffled out of the pile of Krabby patties.
"You're okay Patrick?" SpongeBob walked up to him, he showed concern.
Patrick made a thumbs up. "Way to go buddy. See? It was all in you."
Patrick pat SpongeBob in the back. He ate a Krabby patty as he walked away.
Patrick walked away, his hunger satisfied.
Mr. Krabs put the money back in his bag; he had finished counting.
"Good start for today."
He walked up to a seemingly normal wall behind his desk.
He tapped a hidden button.
An input prompting a password opened from the wall
Mr. Krabs inputted the password with agile claws.
A major slit in the wall appeared adjacent to the password input and slid open to a very large vault.
Another input for a password was right next to the lock.
Mr. Krabs quickly typed another password.
The lock was loosened.
Mr. Krabs twisted the lock and opened the vault.
He poured the money out of the bag. He organized them in careful stacks adjacent and identical with the rest of the money in the vault.
He stepped away from the vault and closed the door. His claws twisted the lock back in place.
The vaults and password inputs were once again hidden beneath the wall.
He walked towards the exit door.
'I should show the lad around the place.' While walking from his office.
opened the door.
SpongeBob was walking merrily across the large dining area.
There was an acute drought of customers ever since the anchovies left.
"Ah, there you are." Mr. Krabs walked to SpongeBob. "I'm gonna give you a tour of the Krusty Krab. I want you to have a good feel of the vessel."
"Oooooh. A tour!"
"I won't revisit the obvious spots of course. You were a frequent customer before you got employed."
SpongeBob's eyes sparkled.
Mr. Krabs went to the cash register.
Squidward was snoring, a book over his face.
Mr. Krabs pointed at the ordering window specifically.
"You see that chandelier doo-hickey over there. That's where Squidward puts up orders that you have to take. Since you are our fry cook and all."
As Mr. Krabs stated, there was a metal ring on the top of the ordering window where notes would be put for orders.
Mr. Krabs walked away and entered the kitchen.
SpongeBob followed closely.
Mr. Krabs walked towards a door SpongeBob didn't notice before.
"This is where I can inspect on you from my office."
He opened the door which showed the office.
Mr. Krabs walked towards a metal door.
"This is the freezer. Most of the Krabby patties on the ship are stored here."
Mr. Krabs opened the door and a sudden artic wind blew on them.
Mr. Krabs promptly shut the door.
The crustacean quickly walked out of the kitchen towards the dining room.
SpongeBob jogged behind.
Mr. Krabs walked into an adjacent door which lead to the bathroom.
SpongeBob quickly appeared before him.
"You probably know that Squidward sleeps here often but there is one thing I want to show you."
He walked to a machine where you could swipe a card.
"Everyday before you go to work you will swipe a card into this machine which will mark your attendance."
Mr. Krabs handed SpongeBob a brand new ID card.
SpongeBob marveled at his reflection on the card. "Wow."
Mr. Krabs and SpongeBob left the bathroom.
Mr. Krabs pointed to the open space above the metal wall and doors.
"That is the storage area. Don't worry, the likelihood of you going up there is the same as that of discovering treasure."
Mr. Krabs went to the kitchen. He then opened another door straight ahead which took him outside.
SpongeBob stood before him.
"This will be out last stop. This feller right here." Mr. Krabs pointed at a large dumpster which was the only thing there behind the Krusty Krab. "Will help ya out a lot during cleaning duty. All you have to do is to throw trash cans in there. We always do cleaning duty before we close unless I tell you to clean a certain place."
They both went inside the Krusty Krab.
Mr. Krabs was pondering, a claw on his chin. "Hmmmmm..."
He noticed the pile of Krabby patties outside and the pile of boat pieces.
"SpongeBob, Squidward, store the patties away and fix the boat!" He leaned on the wall and watched closely.
"Right away sir!" SpongeBob ran outside to tend to the patties.
Squidward stood up and began putting the wooden pieces together.
After a few seconds SpongeBob made a pattern of rapidly entering and exiting the Krusty Krab so as to put the patties away.
This heavily annoyed and distracted Squidward. He tried his best to stay focused.
SpongeBob ran a few inches too close to Squidward.
The boat pieces collapsed and the jigsaw puzzle was ruined.
Squidward shook a fist, fuming.
SpongeBob awkwardly continued his duties.
He ran inside the kitchen.
He opened the freezer as Mr. Krabs showed him.
He put Krabby patties away neatly.
He ran back outside to get more.
A half hour later.
The boat looked spotless, the fruit of Squidward's labor.
Squidward wiped the sweat off his face. He climbed up to the storage area to put the glue away.
SpongeBob came out of the kitchen, complete with his chore.
Squidward jumped down and at long last sat down on the repaired boat. He took a well-earned nap.
Abruptly a customer opened the doors and entered the Krusty Krab.
*gasp* "A customer! Yes!" SpongeBob ran to the kitchen. He turned on the grill.
"Ugh." Squidward sat straight.
Mr. Krabs returned to his office.
"Ooh. They got a new employee? It's been a while since there was two."
"Can you just state your order?" Squidward was in a sour mood.
Beyond the ordering window SpongeBob witnessed the event. He made a wide grin. "I'm becoming famous already!"
Several hours later. After SpongeBob served many customers for his first day…
SpongeBob was whistling.
He picked up trash bags from trash bins and walked to the kitchen.
He then opened a door to the back of the Krusty Krab.
He threw the trash bags into the dumpster.
Squidward came with more trash bags and threw it into the dumpster. Squidward was happy that his work would end soon.
The sun was close to setting on the horizon. They sky was in a temporary light orange, which would soon fade to dark blue.
It was 6:00 PM.
They went back to the dining room.
They put in new trash bags inside the bins.
"Good job boys! Closing time!" Mr. Krabs shouted and he walked towards the door.
SpongeBob walked out the door and Squidward trailed behind him.
Mr. Krabs switched the sign from 'OPEN' to 'CLOSED'.
He took the now useless 'Help Wanted' sign off the window.
He inserted the golden key in his claws into the door.
The door was then locked.
"Oh yeah. One more thing." Mr. Krabs looked at SpongeBob. "I'll be taking that spatula." SpongeBob gave him the spatula without hesitation. "I'll sell this at an auction. Anyways, I'll give you the traditional spatula next time you come around." Mr. Krabs showed the casual spatula to SpongeBob, it didn't have any special features. SpongeBob marveled once again at the utensil. "I'll be seeing you on Monday. We don't work on Sunday, which is tommorrow."
SpongeBob grinned. He made a military salute. "Roger that sir!"
Mr. Krabs made a pirate laugh and walked home. Ready to pull off a scheme to rob people's money.
Squidward and SpongeBob walked home side by side.
"This is going to be amazing! Not only are we neighbors, we are now coworkers!" *gasp* "I could be with my friends for almost the whole day! This is the best day of my life!"
Squidward focused on ignoring SpongeBob although he winced at the word 'friends'.
"Thank you very much SpongeBob. Now working in the Krusty Krab is a living hell." He sighed.
SpongeBob was skipping across the street merrily. "Hahahahahahaha!" He did his famous laugh, the weirdest one in Bikini Bottom. "You're welcome." SpongeBob perceived Squidward as sarcastic instead of listening and understanding him completely.
"If you don't mind me, I'm going to get some sleep." Squidward stated with dignity and walked faster.
"Since I'm in the Krusty Krew, do you want to celebrate and party at my place?"
"No no no no no no no."
Squidward's tiki was only a block away, between SpongeBob's pineapple and Patrick's rock.
"Bye Squidward!" SpongeBob skipped to his house and went inside.
"Good riddance." Squidward opened the door to his tiki and went inside. He slammed the door shut.
In a room with a wooden bed and a wooden table with an alarm clock on top of it, Squidward slept. The rooms in his house were as bizarre as his artistic taste. Several portraits of himself were kept in the tiki, all of them expressing Squidward's narcissim.
He laid on the mattress, sheet over most of his body, and was snoring through his nose. He wore a sleeping mask and hat.
The snores resounded throughout the room.
Patrick slept on a sofa of sand. He was drooling. He fell asleep after watching television.
The tv of sand was showing gray dust on the screen.
SpongeBob was still a bit awake that night.
Still fascinated and shocked that he was now the Krusty Krab fry cook.
He looked out the window, pondering on what he was going to do tommorow since the Krusty Krab was closed. Many viable options appeared in his mind.
"Maybe I should go jellyfishing with Patrick tommorrow. Ooh! Or stroll around Bikini Bottom and take a little trip! Or visit my parents and tell them the good news!" Nearly every thought in SpongeBob's mind was spoken aloud.
Gary slept peacefully in the bedroom.
The crescent moon reflected over the ocean surface. Patiently waiting for the sun to take it's place.