42New Employ
8. CHERUBS
Disclaimer: I do not own Helluva Boss
To say the mood was somber for some is an understatement. The entirety of IMP are sitting in their conference room at their office and discussing the next steps for their business as per usual.
Ajax though, one of the few who would may attention to better come up with ideas to improve their little business and goings on, is currently not up to his A-game. It may have been some time since the fiasco that was their assignment at the Harvest Festival, his efforts of what happened, and his subsequent loss and beating he took still weighs heavily on his mind. He always knew one day he would not be able to stay top dog forever… but he had hoped he would have at least a few more years left in him to be able to beat most of his opponents he would face… especially since he finally found allies, friends and a purpose for himself.
He hardly even did his solo contract a few days earlier since it was surprisingly easy. Like turning a kno—
"JACKIE!" Ajax jolts a little in his seat at the loud call out of his name. He looks to see everyone staring at him, some with concern, some nonchalantly, and one specific one in frustrated anger.
Blitzø.
It's his boss with crossed arms staring at him with squinting eyes and his foot tapping on the ground. "You done daydreaming princess or can we continue our important shit over here?!" He loudly yells annoyed.
Ajax inhales deeply and shakes his head as he gets his focus on his boss. "Oh… right. Yeah, sorry boss. Continue please." He gestures for Blitzø to continue.
The Imp boss nods in victory with a smile. "Good! Now then…" He pulls out his flintlock pistol and aims at the TV in the room.
"Oh, we... are the C.H.E.R.U.B.!"
*BOOM*
Ajax just barely has a moment to see the TV's screen, which showed some angelic looking cute creatures on it singing, before it is subsequently blown to bits in a small fireball as Blitzø shoots it and it explodes.
"Nice one, B!" Millie can't help but compliment her boss on his blatant destruction of their property.
"Gimme another, Mox." Blitzø orders his employee to do.
Moxxie nervously sweeps away the flaming debris and puts another old-fashioned TV onto the stand. He turns it on with a scared look on his face, shifting his eyes towards his boss as Blitzø pours gunpowder into his flintlock. 'This is why we don't have as much money.' Ajax mumbles in his head, tired at his bosses actions but really not giving a fuck.
Especially after what Blitzø decided to do earlier. As it turns out, Ajax hasn't exactly been keeping up to date with his recent birthdays, or the years for that matter as he didn't care before he met the Hellspawn demons. Just when Blitzø decided to go snooping in his wallet again and found that Ajax was actually 10 years older than what he first realized. 70 to be exact.
Just another thing to add to his depressing funk. He sighs as he watches he 666 news logo appear on the TV screen.
"Eh, nah. Not feelin' it. Next!" Blitzø loudly orders.
Moxxie switches the channel. Ajax looks on curiously as what comes on is a demonically dressed Betty Boop that appears in black and white, dancing erotically with prominent, bouncing breasts, holding a pitchfork. Ajax just sighs while Moxxie flinches in anticipation of the TV blowing up again. Blitzo and Millie look bored. "Uh-huh. Keep going, keep goin', keep goin'..." He waves his hand to his employee to continue switching channels.
Moxxie switches the channel again and this time the Imp demon Wally Wackford that appeared at the Harvest Festival, appears on the screen dressed in white with a black top hat, holding a cane.
"I say, I say, are you lookin' to get work making crazy contraptions and goofy gadgets?"
Wally whacks his cane on the wall at either side of him, producing the graphics for 'CRAZY CONTRAPTIONS' and 'GOOFY GADGETS' as he speaks.
"WELL, call me at Wacky Wally Wackford's Wacky Idea Factory,"
The for 'Factory' appears against a similar circular background of classic old cartoons. The panel with the title then falls over forwards.
"Where you make the things and I make the money!" He joyfully calls out without a hint of remorse at the sheer sleaziness of his proposition. Soon enough he moves really close to the screen with an obvious pleading look. "Please! I'm very desperate!"
"Bingo!"
*Boom*
Ajax sighs as Blitzø shoots another TV, scattering the debris all over the place.
"WOO! You're on a roll, sir!" Millie continues to encourage her Bossin destroying their stuff.
Ajax subtly shakes his head before looking over to the side.
Not surprising is Loona here as well for the meeting but pretty much she doesn't seem to be overly involved in the discussion as this whole time she was asleep, slightly snoring and drooling while sleeping in her chair. She has one foot up on the table that twitches in her sleep and keeps her from falling off. She about tips over at some point but Ajax reaches over lazily and slightly pushes her back up. She didn't even finish drinking her cup of water next to her foot. Ajax chuckles at her relaxed state and wishes he could do the same. However years of being on edge and constant motion all the time practically makes him way too antsy relaxing as such.
Suddenly he jolts a little as he feels a rumbling going around them. Even Loona is awoken by the rumbling, which also knocks her cup over, spilling its contents on the table.
"Guys… do you feel that?" Loona asks warily as she gets up.
"Its some type of earthquake." Ajax surmises as he gets up, steadying himself so he doesn't collapse onto the ground or at least get ready to move incase the building begins to crumble. With a lot of the ways that people can be in Hell, shody construction work is more common than he'd like to admit.
"This isn't earth dumbass! Fuck! Is this a hellquake?" Blitzø rudely and bluntled yells out, much to Ajax's annoyance but not really caring and focusing on the shifting place at the moment.
"That's possible?" Although now Ajax isn't sure because of the question from Moxxie.
"Alright! Don't panic, Moxxie!" Millie loudly shouts at her husband. Moxxie for his reaction has his tail stiffen in surprise at her outburst, even more so when she grabs his arms and tries to shake him in her attempt to 'calm' him.
"I'm not panicking," Moxxie finger quotes 'panicking.' "Because hellquakes don't happen." He is sure of his reason.
"STOP GETTING HYSTERICAL, FATTY!" Loona may have gotten too much sleep as she unceremoniously grabs Moxxie, lifts him up, shake him uncontrollably in an even worse attempt to calm him down, and slaps him across the face.
Ajax winces at the treatment when Moxxie gets sent flying against the wall and is dazed from hitting said wall.
To Ajax's worry the rumbling seems to get worse off and he has to brace himself on the table. He looks up and widens his eyes as he looks at something outside. "MOX—"
*CRASH*
A giant wrecking ball of black tubes crashes through the window of the office room, knocking Moxxie down and burying him in a large pile of rubble. "—… Xie." Ajax sighs in disappointment at his late warning for his coworker. At first Ajax assumes the mass of tubes is some wrecking ball worker having gone a little overzealous on the crane below.
That thought is dashed when as the dust settles, the wrecking ball untangles into multiple robotic tentacles and a supervillain-esque demon uses two of them to hoist himself into the room through the hole, covering himself with his cape. Just like that some of them are on edge at the sudden intrusion. Ajax reaches for his pistol while Loona growls while on all fours.
"Do not be afraid!" The man, or sinner in this case, calls out in a loud garish tone with arms raised up with a grin as he extends his robotic tentacles.
Ajax hums annoyed at the mess the pace got. "That window is not coming out of my paycheck this time." Ajax calls out loud to make sure they know. Before Ajax had caused the damage and was willing to pay for it. He wants to make sure his boss doesn't make it a habit of using him as his own insurance claim payout. He makes his way around the table to help Moxxie but keeps his hand on his gun ready to draw.
Blitzø hums annoyed before looking at the destructive guest. "Please tell me you got that insurance thing." He pretty much hopes the sinner was covered for their damage.
Millie is very much on edge and ready to go as she grabs her battle axe in hand. "Who are you, and what do you want?!" Ajax is still surprised at the strength and finesse that the small imp can do with such a violent weapon and Ajax is always impressed to see.
"I am Loopty Goopty!" The sinner says in a singsongy voice as he extends a tentacle into a loop-de-loop and slides along it to the other side of the room. "Dastardly inventor of all things loopy and loopiiiiiish!"
"Your who?!" Ajax just about almost shouts as he picks a piece of debris off of Moxxie before dropping it accidentally.
"AAAAGHHH!" Moxxie lets out a strangled cry from the action.
"Aw fuck. Sorry Moxxie." He apologizes as he continues trying to dig up his partner.
"Coulda just used the door, dude. Doesn't need to be this whole thing." Loona calls out Loopty on his messy entrance.
"I am eccentric and must therefore do eccentric SHIT!" Loopty shouts as he does a wavy dance to accentuate his eccentric personality.
Blitzø sniffs him and flinches away. "Ugh! This old fuck reeks of the living world. Did you just die?" He asks.
"YEEEEES! Moments ago, in fact! Which is what brought me HEEEERE!" Loopty informs them of his situation.
"Just sayin'… the front door would've gotten you here fine." Loona annoyingly tells him as she taps away on her phone.
"Shut up, dear furry!" Loopty shushes her, pissing her off as she growls at him in anger. Ajax would be angry too at the way he's treating them all but right now he's trying not to appear as nervous now after hearing Loopty died recently.
"This is the man I'm gonna need you to kiiiill!" In his singsong voice he shows them all a photo. It's an old photo of an old bald man in a bed. Ajax has to be careful not to drop another piece of rock on Moxxie again as he saw the photo before focusing again on the trapped imp.
Blitzø takes a good look at the photo before smiling at the potential customer. "Not even a shit's length of time in Hell and already plotting revenge. I can respect a man with that sort of passion! I'm Blitzø, the 'O' is silent." He puts on the business charm as she walks up to Loopty and shakes his hand.
Loona is pretty much done with this and walks away. Lootpy however seems a little confused by what was said. "What 'o'?"
"Aww, thank you." Blitzø doesn't get that Loopty is genuinely confused but just takes it as a compliment. "Now, what's the tea, sis?" He asks the sinner with a small flamboyant shake of the hips.
"The TEAAAA?!" Loopty is even more confused.
"Oh for fucks sake, HE WANTS TO KNOW WHY?!" Ajax angrily shouts back at them over his annoyance of the situation.
"Ack! Help! Lungs!"
"God fucking damnit. I got you Moxxie." Ajax mumbles as he continues to try to help Moxxie.
"Wait, how are you down here?" Loopty asks in intrigue now that he notices Ajax, who gets slightly nervous but focuses on keeping his back to the inventor and helping his friend.
"No we don't special circumstances don't worry about it." Blitzø quickly brings the situation back to what they were originally talking about. "But he is right though. Why are we killin' this guy? I mean, what did he do to you?" He elbow nudges the sinner to get him to talk and focus on the job at hand.
"Ughhhhh… pain." Moxxie groans at a particularly large rock depressing his torso.
"Oh for fucks- I could use some help over here!" Ajax shouts to the other two employees they have on hand. Millie has already moved up and is helping Ajax in getting her husband free while Loona in her lazy state simply moves some small rocks around with her foot while looking at her phone.
"He was… my business partner!" Loopty ignores the others as regales them the tale of his situation. "You see, I was not always an old man! My partner Lyle and I ran Lyle-Loopty Robotics, a technological empire!" And just like that the recently made sinner goes into the ins and outs of his old life. Ajax's eyes widen as its all but confirmed who the sinner was and how powerful they truly were. "Earlier today, we were testing a new machine intended to stop, or reverse, the aging process!" Loopty continues his whimsical story-telling, complete with exaggerated movements with his body and tentacles trying to curry pity for him in some way or how grand his work was. "It could've saved all three trillionaires!" He takes a more saddened tone at he continues, "Unfortunately, we neglected to test the machine on the poor, like we usually do. We were too sure of our own genius! But the machine was accidentally set FORWARD to OLD! By the time we managed to get out… it was too late! At least… for me!" He falls into a small couch bed of tentacles with an arm waved over his head. Soon enough he gets an angry expression, "Now, that evil son of a bitch is going to take over the empire WE BUILT TOGETHER! Without me to share it with, he'll make all the goddamn money in the world and become the fourth trillionaire... and get ALL the credit!"
The majority of them look at the sinner and how it wasn't really evil that he made it out to be.
"Ehhh, that's not really evil." Blitzø goes ahead and bursts his bubble.
"It's evil towards meeee!" Loopty says.
"Ughhhhh…" Moxxie groans now that they got most of the rubble off of Moxxie, he still groans.
"You okay Mox?" Millie asks her husband.
"Hurt…" Moxxie weakly gets out as he stares up at the ceiling with an arm stretched. Ajax grunts as he goes to check for injures while Millie continues to dig him out.
Loopty ignores them and continues his tirade against his former business partner. "Now, get your crimson asses up above and send that heartless, no-good son of a bitch to Hell, where he belongs!"
Blitzø gets a little nervous at the increasing anger Loopty seems to be showing, which isn't a good combo considering his abilities and how he busted into their office. "Eh, y-y-y-you do know, Poopty—"
"Looooptyyyy!"
Ajax just about slaps his face in frustration at how much he wants to hurt his boss for getting Looptys name wrong and how much the sinner was seething when he corrected his name.
"Of course! Of course…" Blitzø tries to calm him down as he holds his hands up defensively. "If we do kill him, though, and he ends up down here… y'know, you will be stuck with him. Forever." He tries to make sure the sinner knows exactly what he's in for if they do the contract.
"Oh, trust me…" Loopty speaks in a menacing and threatening tone. To punctuate his point he summons an array of weapons from his back on a series of mechanical tentacles and armatures: a pistol, a rifle, a missile launcher, and even a circular saw blade. "I'm counting on it." Ajax grabs his sidearm as precaution from the potentially volatile client.
"That's kinda hot."
And just like that Moxxie is the center of attention with a very interesting comment. Everyone glances at him as Ajax chuckles and shakes his head. "He'll be fine." Ajax mutters after not seeing any life-threatening injuries on him. "Just don't go into the light Moxxie." Ajax jokes lightly, much to Moxxie's still growing discomfort and delirium.
With their client setup, contract set and a target given, the assassins of IMP are whisked to Earth to kill a recently turned old guy and send him straight to Hell.
Problem is… they don't know exactly where Lyle is. So naturally being a well known and famous person the group decided to take a tour on a bus to find where he is.
The others are wearing tacky tourist disguises to conceal with demon appearances, although if Ajax is being truthful he's going with the idea they just want to dress up for the fuck of it.
Moxxie has black button up coat or trench coat on with a top hat adorning his head, and even having a white moustache to complete his look.
Millie has tan pants, a red shirt tied up at the bottom, blonde hair wig and a straw hat on her head.
Blitzø is probably the most garish with his black coat, red boots, and a afro blue and pink wig on his head.
And Ajax isn't wearing anything standoffish, just a run of the mill civilian attire as he didn't really bother since he was back in his depressing funk again. After finding out Lyle Lipton was still alive, Ajax just was reminded he was failing still.
For the reason, it was Ajax that was contracted to kill the inventors.
Earlier when Loopty mentioned the poor he experimented on, at least a few of them ended up in Hell and contacted Ajax to end the lives of the inventors. The duo inventors hubris was enough that they had lax security in their factories lab. When they tested their aging machine, it was all that Ajax needed to do to make it look like an accident was turn a simple knob.
That's how it was supposed to go: sabotage their machine, making them age to oblivion and die of old age without a trace being set back to him or foul play.
Ajax didn't even stay to confirm the kills. He just left.
A sigh escapes the human at his reminder of his poor performance.
"Gee! I wonder whose house this is." Ajax jerks out of his thoughts at the sarcastic tone from Moxxie. He looks up to see that they are stopped in front of a large lawn and mansion. It's your run of the mill rich guys massive mansion and such, including a large metal spiked fence.
"And to your right is the home of famous inventor, Lyle Lipton!" The tour guide informs everyone on the tour bus. The crowd 'oohs' and takes pictures with their cell phones of the whole place.
Blitzø removes his sunglasses, wearing his clown wig. "Let's do it, gang!" He calls out.
"Wait what are you—" Before Ajax can voice his opinion or question them on what they are doing, all three Imps jumps off the bus, over the fence and pull out their weapons: Blitzø a flintlock pistol, Moxxie an assault rifle and Millie two sharp swords.
"Let's kill this rich guy!" Millie makes no effort to hide their assassination mission.
Just like that in full view of everyone, the Imps race over toward the windows of the mansion. "Oh for fucks sake." Ajax groans as he gets up with a groan. 'No wonder Loona got pissed at them before for not using any disguises.'
"And here you'll find three tacky stalkers about to attempt a murder! Things like this could happen to famous people all the time!" The tour guide nonchalantly informs the people on the bus. Everyone goes ahead and snaps some pictures of the escapade.
"Tacky stalkers my ass." Ajax grumbles as he moves past the tour guide, who looks at him curiously as Ajax grumbles as he walks off the bus. "No subtly whatsoever. All the time its just guns blazing or sledgehammers to the skull. No tact, no poise, no fucking plan." Ajax can be heard audibly grumbling as he makes his way off the bus and to the fence. He lets out a long as he dreads climbing up the fence… until he looks to the side and gets a deadpan look. He walks up to the main gate and stares at it for a long few seconds before he presses on it.
*CREAK*
It opens without any resistance besides the creaking of the metal hingers. "God fucking damnit." He mumbles and sighs before walking through, not even bothering to close the gate behind him as he slowly trudges forward to the others, who are still staring through the window. When he gets close he crouches, groaning as he does, and moves close enough to be at the window for them. "What's going on? What's the play?" He quietly asks.
"Not much if that's our target." Moxxie comments with a hand wave to the target. When Ajax looks, he looks uneasy at the decrepit old man on the bed. The photo Loopty showed did not do the target justice in just how old he became truly, so much so that Lyle Lipton is lying on his bed with an IV bag attached to him. A heart rate monitor sits on a shelf next to the IV bag as well. A TV screen and video player sit at the other side of his bed, connected to the bed itself and the old man is holding a framed picture in his hands, looking at it sadly. "That machine really did a number on him." Moxxie comments on the state of their target.
"Fuck yeah it did. Becareful Jaxxie, that could be your near future right there." Blitzø nonchalantly and brutally states with a playful smile to their human assassin. Nothing is said by the human as he stares at their target, however Blitzø doesn't notice a black and red hellblade slowly being raised behind and over his head. Two different red hands quickly grab the hand holding the knife and slowly push it back down, eliciting a quiet grunt of disappointment from the human.
Back to Lyle, the old man seems to be staring fondly at a picture as he kisses is.
"Goodbye… my one true love." The old inventor sadly says as he runs a finger down the picture lovingly. When he puts the frame down, Ajax is able to get a look at what it is that Lyle was in love with. Ajax deadpans as he sees its simply a stock image of dollar bills with a 'Free Stock Photos' watermark over it. Ajax isn't sure if it's the free aspect of the image, or it being money in general he's in love with. Ajax shakes his head as they watch as Lyle grabs the tube from his IV bag and begins tying it up. "All the riches of the world can't fill the emptiness I'm feeling now that my shitty old body can't do anything of value." Ajax swallows a lump in his throat as the old inventor proceeds to make a noose out of the IV tubing.
"Oh, fantastic! He's gonna do our job for us!" Blitzø exclaims happily at the idea of the job being doen without them lifting a finger.
"Wasn't there a thing you said when we first met about you not wanting someone else to do your job for you?" Ajax asks his boss, annoyed at the potential hypocrite.
"Not unless it's the target themselves that's offing their own asses off. Their just shortening their life timer."
Ajax shakes his head as they go back to watching the old man. Lyle finishes making a noose out of the tube, pulling the knot taught.
"Should we go in there and tie it for him?" Ajax isn't sure if Moxxie is being serious or sarcastic with that comment.
It doesn't really matter as Lyle is pretty much done as goes to put the noose around his neck.
"Want some?" Ajax blinks confused as a bag of popcorn is placed in front of his face by Moxxie. He looks down at the bag before looking at the others to see them all drinking and eating popcorn.
"Where the fuck did you guys get these snacks?" Ajax asks quietly and almost accusingly for some reason. No one says anything as they watch the show of an old man about to kill himself.
Moxxie simply shakes the bag a little.
Ajax sighs and shrugs his shoulder. "Ehh fuck it." He takes a handful of popcorn and stuffs it into his mouth as he joins the others in continuing to watch. It seems like their job is just about done when Lyle goes to place it over his head. The noose suddenly begins to glow white. "What the fu—?"
*BOOM*
Suddenly a bight flash of light hits everyone, including those outside and knocks IMP back with a concussive force of some kind. "Arhh! Son of a…" Ajax groans as he rubs his eyes from the blinding effect that just happened to them.
"Is everyone okay?" Moxxie asks in concern as he too tries to get his vision back.
"What the fuck was that?!" Blitzø loudly and angrily demands as he tries to get his bearings.
"No idea. What happened with Lyle?" Ajax asks once he can see again. As Millie tries to shake the stars from her eyes, the boys go up to the window and look in with Moxxie rubbing his head.
"Who the fuck are they?" Blitzø loudly and angrily exclaims, gesturing to the new arrivals.
"What the hell?" Ajax mutters at the scene in front of him.
"Oh, no! Guys, those are…"
"Cherubs, Mr. Lyle!" One of the little flying creatures says in a joyous tone.
There are now three creatures hovering in front of the inventor. The one Cherub that spoke is a small cherub who takes the appearance of a white-skinned human baby with short, light coral puffed hair, a small light pink nose, and large periwinkle purple eyes with no irises or pupils. He also has pale rosy cheeks.
Ajax notices he seems to have a sort of outline about him, his body, eyebrows, and eyelashes are colored in a shade of dark purple. He also sports a white halo hovering above his head, and a pair of periwinkle-and-white feathered wings on his back.
He wears a pair of coral overalls over a light yellow shirt with a white peter-pan collar, and periwinkle flats
The second one is a small cherub who takes the appearance of an anthropomorphic sheep with light yellow skin, and slight darker-colored ears and hair which is short-cut and puffed upwards. Her eyes have light reddish-pink irises with periwinkle-colored pupils, and upper eyelids colored in a shade of faded light pink.
Her outlines and eyelashes are colored in a shade of dark purple. She sports a white halo hovering above her head, and a pair of pale yellow-and-white feathered wings on her back. She also has pale rosy-cheeks, and pink heart-shaped hooves.
She wears a yellow dress with a pink hem and a large bow on the front, along with white frilly gloves and a pair of bloomers underneath her dress.
The last one is a small cherub who takes the appearance of an anthropomorphic sheep as well but with white freckles and dark periwinkle skin, as well as paler periwinkle short hair that is puffed upwards. His eyes are periwinkle with lighter upper eyelids.
His outlines and eyebrows are colored in a shade of dark purple, and he also sported a white halo hovering above his head, and a pair of two-toned periwinkle feathered wings on his back. His legs are light periwinkle with white round markings, and dark periwinkle heart-shaped hooves.
His outfit is that of a long-sleeved light blue turtleneck with a periwinkle-and-white-striped bowtie.
Ajax just barely remembers their names being Cletus, Keenie and Collin in that order from the commercial that was on earlier ago.
"I hate filthy, stinking orphan children!" Lyle makes his views very evident and on point when he sees the Cherubs, mistaking them for actual children.
"We're here to convince you not to kill yourself, sir. To grant you a blessing, on behalf of those in Heaven… benefited by your amazing… technological advances." The purple one Collin does what he can to convince the recently made old timer from taking himself out.
"Oh, HEEEELL no!" Blitzø on the other hand is not at all happy about this as he loudly and angrily. The angry imp rolls up his sleeve, hoisting his flintlock pistol at the same time.
"Wait boss what are you—" Ajax goes to question what the imps plan is.
*CRASH*
"Don't listen—" Blitzø in true fashion straight up marches through the window smashing it to bits and sending glass shards all over the place. Unfortunately he misjudged floor to the outside and promptly face plants onto the ground.
Moxxie enters through a door to the side, Millie peeking in as well. "Lyle Lipton, it is our—" Moxxie glances at Blitzø and the heap he's in on the floor. Ajax peeks his head from the side and looks through the broken window at his downed boss. Both Ajax and Moxxie look at each other for a second before Ajax pulls back.
"I'm going through the door." No need for Ajax to get shards of glass in his body as well.
Moxxie nods before looking back at Lyle, "It is out humble opinion that you should continue the process to commit die." He puts it eloquently for their target.
"I mean, what do you expect to do with all this money now you're old… and gross?" Millie questions to him with a look of disgust on her face. Suddenly Millie gets a look of embarrassment on her face as she turns around. "Eh, no offense." She answers with a sorry smile to their human partner.
Ajax just looks dejected at the further kicking he is getting today. He knows Millie didn't mean it and was hoping he didn't take offense to her question to Lyle, which he didn't, but now he's just tired of it.
"Is that a serious question?" Keenie states as she moves Lyle's bedsheets a little, revealing a large wallet full of dollar bills. Cletus the baby looking Cherub grabs the wallet when he sees it.
"He can help spread his wealth around with the people of the world! And do so much good with it! And be so fulfilled!" Keenie joyously states as she flies around grabbing Lyle's wallet from Cletus and happily throws Lyle's dollar bills in the air.
"Nnnno!" As it stands Lyle is not particularly happy with that idea.
"He could pay for new hospitals and schools!" Collin proposes that the inventor does as well.
"Why won't you let me die?" Again, Lyle is still not on board with that as he grips his blankets.
"Oh, sounds like ya need help offin' yourself there, buddy." Blitzø suddenly appears beside the man as he basically wants to offer their services. "Moxxie, what do we got for this fella?" He asks his employee.
Moxxie takes the cue as he opens up his coat. "I have some assault weapons, crossbow, hunting bow, Tommy gun, old-fashioned shotgun, revolvers in three colors, chainsaws, katanas—"
To Ajax's astonishment Moxxie pulls out a veritable armory of weapons for the old man to be killed with. It's not even half their armory of weapons but Ajax is still amazed at the arsenal he carried.
"He's classier than that!" Collin outright claims for the elderly rich inventor. This is made further awkward as Lyle puts the gun to his mouth and is about to pull the trigger before Collin takes it from him.
Ajax subsequently snatches their weapons from the Cherub, who recoils in surprise now that he's got a good look at the other human in the room that wasn't the person they were sent to save.
Ajax scowls at him before checking the gun over for a second before looking at Moxxie. "Mox, do you know the word overkill?"
"Over-what?" Moxxie genuinely asks in confusion and obliviousness of the term. Ajax sighs as he hands the rifle back to the imp, not really surprised he doesn't know it.
Collin shakes his head and focuses on the person of importance they all came here for, who looks sad that he didn't get to pull the trigger on himself. "There are still plenty of reasons to live, Mr. Lyle!"
"Yeah, right. Smells like he ain't been out of bed in months!" Millie sniffs Lyle, which wasn't a good idea as she becomes visibly ill, covering her mouth, and holds Moxxie by the shoulder as she vomits on the floor. Moxxie pats her on the back as Ajax looks uneasy at the mess, taking a step away from it. What's worse is that it hasn't been months since he got out of bed and no doubt within a couple weeks. So the fact he was able to smell so bad so quickly does not bode well for the old man.
"Life can be beautiful at any age!" Back with the Cherubs, Cletus and the others try to convince us all being old isn't bad.
Ajax begs to differ.
"Why don't you tell us sir," suddenly the Cherubs are around Ajax, "How wonderful and fulfilling your life has been?" Cletus tries to put Ajax on the spot and convince Lyle how good things are.
"…"
They are not.
Ajax is silent for several tense seconds, much to a lot of their confusion. "… I fought for my country my whole life. Shed blood, sweat and tears for it more times than I can count." He turns his head and looks directly into the eyes of Cletus, making the Cherub look really really really uncomfortable. "And what do I have to show for it?" He leans in close to the creature, "… Nothing."
*Gulp*
Cletus looks like he's about to pass out as he swallows audibly from the air of fear and slowly growing anger that Ajax is exuding from himself.
Ajax soon sighs and steps away from them, "And the only thing I got going for myself right now is my job… which I found I won't be able to do for too much longer at this point." He mutters depressingly, finishing up his monologue over how shitty things are for him in his old age.
"Way to kill the mood Jaxxie." Blitzø leans in close with some thumbs up. "Keep up that depressing shit and we'll get the old fuck to off himself in not time."
"Joy." Ajax mutters in monotone depressed.
"Don't worry our wayward elderly humans!" Keenie speaks loudly, trying to bring the mood back up with some sort of flamboyant speech of sorts. "It seems the ilk of the demonic Hell spawn have corrupted your souls," said Hell spawn imps all flip them off in perfect unison, "And it will be our jobs, the purest angelic Cherubs of Heaven, to show you all the wonders of living as you are."
"Yeah!" All three Cherubs loudly cheer, now ready and raring to do some good.
"NOOOOO-!" The three imps loudly yell in frustration.
Ajax just sighs and pinches the bridge of his nose. 'Why can't things ever be so simple?'
What entailed for the group to try to convince Lyle involves everyone making their way to a forest nearby and onto a hill overlooking a forest and a lake.
"Look around, Lyle. God's gift of nature is a wonder to behold, regardless of age! Or wealth!" Cletus tells him with a wink as he shows the expansive forest in front of them.
"If you were to end your life, you'd be missing aaaaaall of this!" Collin adds on with a hand wave. Or hoof for his case. Not sure.
"Mm-hm." The rest of the group is there with the imps wearing new clothing than what they had before, interestingly enough their boss has decided to wear a tiger costume of sorts. "You're gonna buy that load of shit from a baby and the sheep it fucks?" Blizø eloquently states while even making the gesture with his fingers.
Ajax groans and covers his face with his hand, shaking his head. He isn't sure why he's going along with them trying to disapprove the Cherubs and all, maybe he's just bored and wondering how this is going.
Even so, his bosses comment and gesture makes the angelic cherubs look on various looks of horro, with Keenie covering her mouth and gasping, Collin blankly stares in disbelief, and Cletus gives a disappointed look.
"That is so inappropriate!" Keenie states after he gasp.
"Oh, kiss our ass, prude!" Millie and Moxxie pop up, wearing cat costumes, and she flips a double bird at them, surprisingly well considering the paw gloves she's wearing. Ajax isn't sure where they got the costumes, or how they got one for him too, but he's not questioning it, nor wearing it. Too tired or in the mood to play dress-up… ever.
Blitzø shoves Lyle aside in the face and sits next to him as he now takes a crack at depressing the old inventor further, "Aaaanyway, take it from me, a fellow genius. Nature is no picnic up close." Ajax is sure theirs a distinct difference from starting a successful business and inventing revolutionary groundbreaking technology that can change peoples lives and society by leaps and bounds.
But he's not going to voice that.
Blitzø grabs a pair of binoculars out of nowhere and gives them to Lyle. He looks through the binoculars and sees an adorable group of bunnies and squirrels together, elating his heart just a little at the beauty of the nature.
It promptly gets crushed as the critters are suddenly torn apart and eaten by a pack of hungry wolves in a very viscous and bloody display. "Ohhhh, noooo!" Lyle cries out as he looks on in horror.
"S-Stop looking!" Collin tries to take the binoculars away but Lyle holds them firm.
"I CAN'T stop! I've never wanted to die more than I do now!"
To add even more to sheer brutality and coincidence of it all in some rated-R Looney Tunes situation, a bear appears and swipes a wolf to the ground. It raises a paw to attack but is then crushed by a falling tree, cut down by a stereotypical beefy logger with a chainsaw. A beehive lands on the man's head and he screams, flailing his head to get the hive off while also throwing his chainsaw into the air. The chainsaw comes back down, cutting both of the man's arms off and causing him to scream harder… right before his body is skewered from behind by the antlers of a charging stag as lighting flashes dramatically around the whole situation.
Everyone freezes in horror and surprise.
"… What the fuck?" Ajax mutters in disbelief at what he just witnessed. He's seen a lot of horrific injuries and kills over his life… but that was just out there for him. Blitzø can be seen looking on in surprise as well before it turns to him grinning smugly. Ajax isn't sure if he was faking or genuinely surprised and then happy such a perfect example of how bad nature can be showed up.
"Uhhh, let's go check out someplace else!" Cletus nervously proposes for them to do and head out. Millie and Moxxie bump fists, the paws of their cat costumes squeaking as they do.
Ajax shakes his head at the absurdity of it all. "Great, wonder what else shit we're going to get into."
"… Shopping mall… sure." True to what he says, the group now finds themselves setup and visiting a typical regular shopping mall. Ajax can only imagine what type of crap they'll have to deal with in the public setting.
*CRASH*
In true subtle fashion, they practically use Lyle and his bed as a battering ram and completely demolish the door to the mall and some of the wall as well around it.
"Oh, Lord! Where are we now?! Let me perish!" Lyle cries out for them to let him die. Of course, the Cherubs don't.
"We're here to show you another thing life is worth living for: childhood wonderment!" Keenie loudly says as she motions to the main stage of the mall. There in the middle is a veritable crowd of kids all cheering for Santa Claus.
'Huh, forgot it was close to Christmas.' The weeks have left Ajax in a funk he's kind of forgotten the exact date at this point on Earth.
Lyle looks on in wonder at the children. "Why… look at those sweet, disease-ridden vermin. Th- Their joy comes from innocence, unspoiled by the burdens of adulthood… and their middle-class existence! Such simple joy they have. It is inspiring. Thank you for showing me this." Ajax isn't sure if the old man is happy, spiteful or… actually he really isn't sure what's going on with him. He wonders if dementia is getting to him.
"Hey, dipshit!" Blitzø calls out, showing that their boss and Millie are wearing elves costumes, with Ajax off to the side grumbly wearing a santa hat, and a grumpy Moxxie wearing a Rudolph costume. Blitzø stands by Santa with a kid in his lap. "Wanna see whose lap you're sittin' on?" Blitzø grabs Santa's beard and rips off the costume. The 'Santa' is revealed to be an ugly, sweaty gnome wearing a '#Cuties' shirt and underwear, making a gnome noise to seal it too. The kids scream and run in terror, some even look like they are rioting. Lyle sobs like a baby as Collin and Keenie cover his eyes. Blitzø walks away with a triumphant look on his face as Millie and Moxxie follow behind him.
Ajax stares at the scene before him with narrowed eyes before he sees a shouting kid about to pass him. "Hey kid." He grabs the kids hoodie and stops him from passing the veteran. The kid immediately stops screaming and looks at Ajax curiously. "Here. Have at him." Ajax hands him a baseball bat from a nearby shopping cart.
"Oooohhh! Hahahahah!" The kid laughs with a smile as he runs off to the fake santa.
"Why would you do that?" Cletus asks him worriedly of the fact Ajax just gave a child a blunt weapon.
"Oh come on. You have to agree that that guy looked like pedophile material." Ajax tries to reason for his action. Cletus looks nervously off to the side as he doesn't deny it. Ajax relaxes as he looks back at the scene. "Besides, if anything he'll probably just break his arm, maybe kneecap him too."
"Wait, stop! Nooo- Arhhh!"
*SMACK*
"HAHAHAHAHA! YEAH TAKE THIS!"
*SMACK*
"Take that! Hahahahaha! Yeah yeah yeah!"
*SMACK*SMACK*SMACK*
Everyone stares in stupefied surprise and horror as they child essentially begins beating the man to death, with a graphic display of bloody red mess. Other children even begin cheering at what's happening too.
"… Oooookay. That was not my intention… much." Really Ajax wasn't expecting things to work out… too well when he gave the kid the bat. It was such a mess so quickly and so fast. Ajax begins ushering them away and out the place. "What the fuck is wrong with this generation?" He questions under his breath as they try to make their way out of there before the riot police shows up.
Next stop has the group finding themselves inside another section of a forest wooded area. This time they are in a more semi-public/private locale where there's over a dozen cars littering what is called 'Lovers Lookout' from the wooden sign placed nearby. Theirs even a note underneath that reads 'I guess'.
"Egh! This place reeks of teenagers!" Lyle voices his displeasure of the place they are in.
"Lovers' Lookout, sir!" Cletus calls out and now tries to give some more advice on life. "We're here to remind you about possibly life's greatest joy of all!"
"Money!" Lyle has his priorities elsewhere.
"No! Love." Collin clarifies.
"I've never been in love before. I imagine it's quite nice." Lyle states with a sigh. Ajax sighs as well from the side.
"It's not too late, sir! You can still find—"
"HA! Nice try, ugly." Blitzø calls out and interrupts Collin. Now the Imps have got themselves a new look and are dressed up in dresses and wigs to complete it.
Blitzø pulls out a megaphone and Ajax can only groan at what he's going to do, "Hey, horny lovers! Which one of you would fuck this old man?!" He shouts into the device for everyone to hear in the location and probably a mile out behind.
As it stands, no one wanted to take him up on the offer as nearly all the cars speed out of there in an instant, save for one or two of them but that's mostly because they are empty. Most likely the owners have decided on some forest debauchery private fun.
Needless to say, Lyle was not happy at the reply from the teenagers as he deflates with a dejected look.
Collin is not happy whatsoever by this as he gets right into Blitzø's face. "You know, you four are so utterly c-c-cruel! We're just trying to give hope to someone in need."
Moxxie is not at all amused by this. "Oh… and you three are so superior to us just because WE want some selfish, greedy, authoritarian capitalist to keel over dead!" He even throws his hands out for emphasis.
Everyone looks at him for a few seconds, even Ajax as he quirks an eyebrow at his partner.
"You're makin' things too real now, Moxxie." Blitzø says as he walks up to Moxxie with a spray bottle labeled 'Piss', adjusts the nozzle, then sprays it into Moxxie's face, causing the smaller imp to flinch and hiss at the spray like a cat. This gets a chuckle from Ajax at the action.
"Alright, where is he?" Everyone looks at the new voice that speaks.
A young adult woman stands nearby, barely into her twenty's and could very much be confused for a hooker with how she's dressed, she even tops it off by having a lollipop in her mouth.
Everyone looks confused by what she's talking about exactly. "Where's who?" Moxxie asks.
"You said you had an old man to fuck? Well, here I am. I'm always looking for a sugar daddy." She says with a cheeky smile.
"Well look no further then!" Blitzø goes heavy into a salesman pitch as he waves over to the old man on the bed. "Because this ball of old wrinkly sunshine is—"
"Ew, no." And just like that the girl shows her disgust for Lyle in bed. "I'll do a lot but I have my limits." She adds with a small chuckle.
And just like that as well, Lyle is further depressed over that statement. The Cherubs do what they can to lift his spirits and keep him from ending himself in the next minute.
The girl though looks and takes one look at Ajax before getting a coy smile. "Well now, you're a looker." She saunters up to Ajax, ignoring the others as she moves to the stone-faced veteran as he stares at the girl. "How about it handsome?" She asks in a sort of sultry tone. "I like the rugged ones. You can take me for a spin all you want…" She places her arms around his neck and leans in close. "But its going to cost you." She adds with a whisper and a smile.
"…" Ajax stares at her silently for a few seconds before looking at the others. Lyle isn't bothering to take notice, Cletus and Keenie are trying to comfort him while Collin glances at Ajax for a second to shrug unsurely. Moxxie shrugs heavily with his shoulders and even with his arms outwards, Millie gives a small smile at the scene, and Blitzø… well the boss gives a wide open mouth grin with thumbs up all the way. Ajax lets out a deep sigh through his nose before looking back at the girl. "Take you for a spin, huh?" He reaches an arm around her shoulders.
"Oh yeah. Big strong guy like you…" She then runs her hand down his chest, going dangerously close to his waistline. "Probably has plenty of experience for little old- Woah!" Before she can finish Ajax picks her up bridal style.
"Going for a spin huh?" Ajax says with a bit more firmness in his voice and he begins carrying her off to the side.
"Oh wow! You're a freaky one!" The girl laughs with some excitement in her voice.
"That's right Jackie boy! Tame that whore!" Blitzø dogs on Ajax and encourages what's going on.
"I'm classier than a whore!" The girl calls out to Blitzø before looking excitedly at Ajax when she's in his arms. "I'm liking this already."
"Well if you like this…" Ajax mutters with a chuckle before stopping and looking at her. "Then your going to like going for a ride."
She smiles lustfully at him, and a little greedily.
"Have fun."
She looks at him confused, "What are you- Aaaaahh!"
"Eyup!"
To everyone's surprise, Ajax proceeds to toss the gold digger over the fence and down the hill.
What follows is a short scream from her, and then a long follow-up of repeated grunts, groans, shouts, curses and overall a painful experience as she tumbles down the inclined hill. It's not bad enough that she's going to get permanent injury but she's definitely going to be pissed off as all fuck.
Everyone else looks over the edge of the fence and watches as the girl tumbles down and away from them.
"Shall we continue?" Ajax shakes and claps his hands together, dusting himself off nonchalantly. The others look at him before looking back down at the girl.
"OWWW! YOU OLD ASS CREAKY MOTHERRUCKING PIECE OF—!"
"Okay then! That's enough of that!" Cletus shouts, getting their attention and ushering everyone to go. "No need to hang around here and now we can continue to show Mr. Lyle here the joys of modern art."
"Ohhhh…" Lyle groans.
"I HOPE YOU BREAK INTO DUST AND A DOG TAKES A SHIT ON YOUR—"
"AAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!"
Next and most likely last stop is the group setting themselves up in an Auditorium. More specifically, they have found themselves in the middle of watching an Opera of all performances being held.
There is a woman dressed as a Viking singing opera on stage while wearing a fake unicorn on her lower torso. A well-dressed man plays a grand piano behind her as well.
The cherubs and the audience are also well-dressed, though Lyle only wears a bowtie over his simple, sweat-stained hospital gown and Ajax is sitting next to him while wearing a tie that Blitzø tossed his way. Doesn't really match with a T-shirt and jacket but whatever at this point.
"Behold! The wonder of art and music! Somethin' always there to comfort… entertain… and live for!" Cletus starts giving his own spiel on more of the wonders of the world.
Lyle looks slightly intrigued by the whole thing but Ajax just simply sits there relaxing and watching with an impassive look.
"What are you doing here?" Keenie asks him with a suspicious look aimed at him. "Shouldn't you be hanging around your demons ilk friends?" She asks him accusingly.
"Now now, we don't need to accuse him of some such." Cletus floats up next to Ajax, stopping Keenie from saying too much or go too far. "He's just finally broken free from their wicked temptations and wishes to see the joys of the world alongside us." He states with a smile and hugging Ajax's face.
"…" The human doesn't reply at first, he simply grumbles as he grabs the back of the cherub of pulls him off before dropping him on Lyle's bed. "Nothing like that. Just watching and waiting for shit to hit the fan."
"You really shouldn't be saying things like that." Collin lightly scolds him with crossed arms and a pout.
Ajax simply chuckles and pats his head none too gently. "That's cute. Save that energy. You all are going to need it."
While Ajax is mingling down below, his fellow employees are up top above the stage with the three Imps looking down from a catwalk near the ceiling. Blitzø wags his butt and tail like a cat as he stares down.
"So… how do we make this bad?" Millie asks, stumped on what they can do.
"We can't." Moxxie shuts her question down. "There's literally nothing bad about opera. That's fact." He states a matter of fact.
"Unless we ruin it somehow!" Blitzø states while not so discreetly wiggling his butt right in Moxxie's face. With a mischievous grin, Blitzø grabs the spotlight under them and moves it away from the singer. The singer pauses and follows the light and steps into it, resuming her song. Blitzø moves the spotlight again, and the singer again pauses to follow it yet again.
"She's not very good." Lyle comments. Ajax purses his lips as he watches the light go all over the place on stage. He glances up with his eyes and just barely sees his compatriots up top doing their thing. A look to the side shows that Lyle and the Cherubs are looking at the whole situation with suspicion.
Blitzø continues to wiggle the spotlight around aggressively faster and faster with more haphazard movements. He gasps as he accidentally breaks it off its bracket entirely. The woman sings a final high note until…
*CRASH*
The light lands and crushes her on stage, smashing her to pieces and splattering blood all over the stage. The audience, Lyle, and the cherubs scream, minus Ajax who looks curiously at the scene. The pianist nervously tries to keep playing, his face drenched in sweat as he stays committed to his act.
"Well, at least we made it bad." Blitzø states with a smirk.
The Cherubs angrily look up and spot the Imps, flying up to confront them.
"THAT'S IT! I HAVE HAD IT! You three monsters have messed with us enough!" Cletus loudly and angrily yells at them, so much so that Ajax can hear them from back down in the audience seats.
"D'ooh, we're just trying to do our j-j-job!" Collin points out, stuttering a little.
"Well, so are we!" Moxxie points out as well.
"EEENNNOOOUGH!" Cletus shouts as all three Cherubs summons golden crossbows and aim them at the imps. Ajax grabs his pistol and prepares to pull it out if something happens. Before the Cherubs were simply angry and trying to be passive by everything but now it seems they are done playing around. "We are saving that shitty old man's life, whether he wants it or not!"
Okay now that gets Ajax to pause at their comment. Don't know if its because they were told to or just their ego and reputation of saving wayward souls that they are that serious. Looking at Lyle shows that the old man hasn't heard what they are saying, only still looking horrified at the dead opera singer and the occasional screaming audience member.
"Well, someone wants that fucker dead, m'kay? And he paid in advance, and I spent it all on THIS so he's gotta go!" Blitzø reaches into his coat and pulls out a jewel-encrusted green horse figure wearing sunglasses and a 'MARE-AJUANA' cap. Ajax doesn't see the figurine but just slaps his face and groans at his bosses blatant waste of their money.
Keenie flies into Blitzø's face and yells at him, "You all are such disgusting, loathsome beasts! Your kind is nothing but dirt that shitty dead people tread on! And now, you're trying to meddle with the lives of HUMANS?!" Ajax has to admit he's slightly impressed by the cherub's insults, although not as much and angry that it's aimed at his friends.
"So are you!" Now its Millie's turn as she pushes he boss to the side, "So why don't you shut your trap, you judgmental, cotton candy, tit-havin' BITCH?!"
"… Damn, go Millie." Ajax chuckles under his breath at her insult reply.
Keenie blinks for a second before glaring angrily at Millie. "FILTHY DEMON CRAP!" She tackles Millie, ensuing a fight between them all.
Ajax is worried at first but relaxes as he watches both angels and demons fight like crazy above. He can't make out exactly what's happening up top as they all move about in their fighting. Gunshots can be heard all about, including the sounds of crossbows going off, and this sends the audience members further into a scared frenzy.
The both of them watch as everything goes crazy up top for everyone. Ajax is worried for a second at the state of his friends… until he spots Millie and Moxxie swinging by on a rope… shooting… and kissing.
"Just how you two." Ajax continues to be amazed of the fact those two can nearly any moment to express their love… vividly. He doesn't even react when the two spin about on the rope and shoot everything and everywhere around them, including several of the audience members around him and Lyle.
*Tap*
And Millie's bra just landed on his head. "Of course." He mumbles and pulls her clothing off him.
*Tap*
And Moxxie's bowtie landed in his other hand. "Really?" He asks incredulously to no one in particular. He simply sighs and bundles both items together before stuffing them into his jacket, opting to give it to them later when they aren't… preoccupied.
"It's all starting to make sense now!" Ajax looks over to Lyle as it seems the old rich bastard seems to have had an epiphany. "Life is worth living because we only get one! We must cherish it! If creatures far beyond this living world are going through these lengths over my life, then certainly it's worth living! Killing myself is not the answer! Plus… I'm still rich! I can just buy all the things! I NO LONGER CRAVE DEATH!" Lyle shouts to the roof, grabbing two handful bundles of cash as well. The audience momentarily forgets they are in the midst of a shootout and claps happily for Lyle. Unfortunately, Millie and Moxxie, spinning while firing their guns and being chased by Collin and Keenie, accidentally shoot a woman in the audience in the eye, killing her instantly and reminding everyone to continue freaking the fuck out.
"Well its about time you figured that out." Ajax chuckles as he comments to the rich old man. "Besides, you don't have to stay old. With your money I'm sure you can get some people to fix your machine and set yourself back to being young again." Ajax is lying through his teeth as he won't even give the old man a chance to do that and plans to execute him within the next minute if the others aren't done fooling around soon… and he's not just talking about M&M doing the mid-air vertical tango.
"Alas, if only that were true." Lyle lets out a wishful and saddened sigh as he leans back in his bed.
This gets Ajax to look at him confused on his words. "What do you mean?"
Lyle chuckles sadly before turning to Ajax.
*Click*Click*Click*Click*Click*
Blitzø and Cletus look at each other awkwardly on the metal scaffolding above the stage as the imp attempts to fire but finds his flintlock gun empty after having fired it already, looking at it in shock even though he should know already that it literally only has one shot. With a wide-eyed glance at Cletus, Blitzø throws the flintlock into Cletus' face.
"Oof! You fucker!" Cletus loudly curses as he grabs his face from the thrown pistol whip. Momentarily blinded, Cletus recklessly fires an arrow, severing the rope holding up the scaffolding Blitzø is standing on and that Moxxie and Millie are swinging from. The three Imps all fall with the metal scaffolding as it smashes onto the floor of the stage, narrowly missing the pianist and bending a wooden board on the stage so it holds up the piano at an angle.
The pianist is startled and stops playing finally. He seems to finally have had enough of the dangerous shenanigans going on around so he straightens his bow tie, drops his stool down onto the stage, and uses it to drop down from the bent floorboard. The loss of additional weight finally sends the board and the piano flying through the air, breaking in the process. Blitzø, Moxxie, Millie, Cletus, Collin, and Keenie follow the piano with their eyes as it falls. Moxxie widens his eyes in shock and worry. "AJAX WATCH OUT!" He shouts, even cupping his hands around his mouth to further increase his volume, much to Blitzø's annoyance at being right next to him.
Both Ajax and Lyle turn to see the piano flying straight towards them after Lyle was done explaining. Ajax stares at the piano as it sores high into the air while Lyle proceeds to scream like a girl and scrambling out of his bed into a seat. For as decrepit and bedridden the old man was, he really knew how to move out of the way of danger. Unfortunately for him not as much, the piano suddenly shifts to his new location and crushes both him and a few corpses haphazardly shot and killed by Moxxie and Millie earlier.
Ajax stares at the scene next to him before a second before he stands up and brushes some wooden splinters off his person nonchalantly. "Thanks Moxxie!" He salutes the imp. Moxxie nods back with a grin since both he and Millie are currently tied up from the rope they are swinging on. Nevertheless, the demonic members of IMP all grin smugly at the turn of events that transpired.
"Well, well. Would'ya looook at that? You… did our job… for us. Heh!" They are all completely and clearly enjoying rubbing it in. Millie even rubs some salt into it as she smirks and gives the cherubs two middle fingers.
The Cherubs are all staring in shock at Lyles unfortunate death. Just as they were getting through to him. Collin gasps in horror at the implications of what happened. "Ohhhh, my gosh! Oh, my gosh! Oh, my Gooood!" He mutters as he looks like he's about to faint or have a panic attack.
"Get a hold of yourself, Collin! And do NOT use the Lord's name in VAIN!" Keenie grabs Collin by the shirt and slaps him across the face a few times.
"THIS… ISN'T OVER!" Cletus angrily yells at them. The three imps smirk as Keenie creates a portal to Heaven and the cherubs fly through.
Suddenly, they are shot back out the portal.
"WHAT THE?!" Cletus shouts in surprise and shock at what happened. This time a new group of cherubs descend from the portal, composed of two bees, two sheep and a deer in the middle of them. The deer conjures up reading glasses and a clipboard.
"Mmm, yeah, no, sorry, Cletus, but I'm afraid your actions resulted in the death of a human. I'm afraid you can't re-enter Heaven. Yeaaaah, noooo…" The deer explains in some sort of faux apologetic tone.
Not wanting to get in the middle of whatever else is going on, and having had enough of the intervention of Cherubs at this point, Ajax sneaks up to the stage and grabs the imps before pulling them away.
The group from IMP corporation are gone and out of there.
Back in the fun confines of Hell, IMP has returned from their most unique and probably most tedious contract they've ever had.
"Well that was… something." Ajax mutters as he takes a swig from a bottle of beer he grabbed. After the sheer mess they had to deal with he needed to grab a drink. "Next time we deal with a suicidal target, can we please just shoot them and be done with it?"
"I second that." Moxxie mutters as he finishes taking account of all their weapons that he brought on the mission.
"I'll take that into consideration… that's if we get more work considering we failed our mission."
The others look confused at their boss as he speaks forlornly while staring out the window overlooking Imp City.
"What do you mean?" Ajax asks.
Blitzø sighs as he goes into his explanation, "I mean of course, the old man wanted to die at first, but now wanted to live again at the end, and we didn't kill him, so we failed. Thanks to those fuckin' cherubs, he's probably up in Heaven now, so… It's a shame." He mutters sadly with his head tilted low to the ground a little. "All our client wanted was eternal revenge on his business partner. And now the two are forever separated, and now we gotta face the fire of fuckin' up." He concludes his explanation speech.
Ajax looks even more confused as to what he's talking about but opts to not say anything when Moxxie raises his finger in question, "Sir… when are you going to tell the client?" He asks.
"Oh, I already sent him a text, and... we're in good hands, 'cause texts don't make people angry." Blitzø replies with a smile as he holds up his phone.
Ajax is not sure what sort of reasoning his boss has for that but his focus now is to his partner. His eyes widen as he turns to Moxxie, who shares an equally worried expression. "MOX!" Ajax quickly shouts. Moxxie Is on the same page as the human as the imp quickly scurries out of the way of the wall behind him as a metal escalator proceeds to crash into the office.
Ajax's worry increases as their client slowly descends the escalator.
"BLIIIIIITZØ!" He shouts with his ever-present smile. Ajax subtly reaches for his pistol as he fully expects shit to go bad super quickly.
"Loofaaaaa!" Ajax just about wants to slap his boss upside the head for saying their clients names wrong… again… when he's pissed off. "We can explain everything. I was—"
*CRASH*
Before he can finish speaking, another escalator crashes through another window and squashes Moxxie. Ajas shoots up in his seat and aims his gun at the new arrival. "Who the fuck are—?!" Ajax begins to shout, but soon stops as the new arrival looks vaguely familiar. "No fucking way." He mutters in disbelief as he lowers his gun.
The new arrival has a robotic appearance similar to Loopty but this one's body is round, spherical body with his head up top and arms on his sides. He has mint-green skin with a red triangular patch on his chin, a large bushy light grey mustache, and a pair of red pince-nez goggles with dark red spirals on the lens.
He also is weaing a light green vest with a dark outline on top and one button on the front, a dark bowler hat with a red stripe, and a pair of light green gloves on his hands. With his lower half being a ball and lacking legs, he moves about by simply rolling. Interestingly enough his teeth resemble that of piano keys from the wide grin he has as he comes down the escalator.
"Lyle Lipton?!" Blitzø, Millie and Ajax all say confused. To see the sinner here in Hell, and so soon, really threw them for a loop.
"I don't understand. We thought you went to Heaven." Millie points out.
"Heaven?!" Lyle says like it's a near impossibility for him to go there, which is pretty on point considering who he is. "You don't make millions in technological advances in robotics by NOT experimenting on the poor!" Case in point, he says as he laughs. Ajax huffs before glancing to Moxxie, seeing the imp on the ground, half buried and still in pain.
Ajax looks at Blitzø and Millie, "Yeah I figured it wasn't going to be easy for him to go to Heaven. Pretty sure he didn't do a massive prayer in his head just before he died." He looks to Lyle with a raised eyebrow, "Which I'm pretty sure you didn't do when you just about died earlier, right?"
"Nope!" Lyle states with a wide smile, accentuating the piano key teeth he has.
"A person doesn't get reformed that quickly." Ajax mutters now that his point is made.
"Oh, you no-good, HEARTLESS son of a BITCH!" Loopty loudly compliments his business partner, all means of anger he had before when he first hired IMP gone now. Loopty turns to Blitzø and the others with his ever-present grin, "Thank you for reuniting me with my best friend!" He thanks them. Ajax sighs as he holsters his pistol, glad for the situation to not turn bad.
"The only question now is what do two old genius robotic inventors do now that we're in Hell?" Lyle asks out loud. Since he's most likely been in Hell for less than an hour, he probably doesn't know the exact way things are or how they be in the place.
Before anything can be said though—
*CRASH*
A yet 'another uninvited guest.
This one being the TV commercial entrepreneur Wally Wackford as he crashes through the ceiling. "Did someone say, I say- Kauh!"
Before he can finish speaking, he's grabbed into an arm lock and slammed into the table with a pistol aimed at the back of his head. "LISTEN UP DAMNIT!" Ajax yells getting, everyones attention. "If one more person decides to bust their way into here within the next twenty minutes… I fill them full of lead, got that?!" Even though his anger isn't directed at the people currently in the room, sans one, they nod nonetheless. "Now…" He pulls up and yanks Wally to the side and away from him, making the imp twirl about uneasily as he tries to get his bearings. "You." Ajax aims his gun at the intruder. "Talk fast before I kick your ass out." He gestures his gun at Wally before letting his weapon fall to his side.
"Eh-uh… yes then. Eh-hem." Wally clears his throat and quikly gets back into his idea pitch state. "My name is Wally Wackford," He starts his little introduction speech properly now that he doesn't have a gun to his head. "And I am lookin' for creative new people to exploit!" He shifts nervously before he clears his throat a little at the slip-up. "I mean, employyyyy." He tries to play it off good heartedly and a little sing-songy. Ajax's annoyance grows at the sliminess of the demon in front of him.
"Will everyone, STOP FUCKIN' UP MY WALLS!" Blitzø shouts in anger, getting equally as angered by the whole situation. "Moxxie's gonna have to fix all this shit!"
"Gruuuuuuuuuuhh!" The imp in question can be heard groaning and frothing at the mouth as he lays crushed by the rubble.
"Oh, chill out, Moxxie." Blitzø is unperturbed by the imps trapped state. "If you kiss my ass any harder, you'll go right inside me. Satan's balls! First we deal with Heaven's table-scraps, now this?"
"I guess… you can say, you say, you have a… holey operation here, Blitzo! Hahaha!" Wally tries to joke around the mood, even slapping his knee as he laughs. Even Loopty and Lyle aren't that into the joke as the former scratches his neck awkwardly.
"Get out." Blitzø is absolutely unamused.
"Oh! I say, oh!" Wally continues laughing without stop, doubling over onto the floor. Lyle and Loopty glance at each other awkwardly. One would think Wally would be more careful considering he just had a gun to the back of his head not even a minute before but chances are from his work and who he works with he most likely has had guns aimed at him before.
Blitzø's anger starts to rise even more so at the intruders constant laughing. Instead of yelling, he simply closes his eyes and takes a deep breath, "…Ajax…" The human looks at his boss.
*Snap*
He snaps his fingers and points at Wally, who is still laughing.
Ajax smiles and holsters his pistol.
"AAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!" Wally is sent flying out one of the broken windows and out the building. "AAAAHHHH-! Pah-! Arh-! I say-! Kugh!" Everyone twitches in pain as they hear the guy hits several things on the fall down, both from their building and the one nearby, most likely the fire escape as well.
Soon enough the pain train ends with Wally moaning loudly in pain at the streets bottom.
Ajax walks back from the window, clapping his hands free from debris and leaning on the table. "That was fun." He mutters, satisfied at his action.
"I bet it was." Blitzø mutters with a smile as he pats his employees arm with Millie next to them smiling.
"Guuuuuu… he…lp…" Moxxie groans some more from nearby.
"Ughhhhhh fine!" Blitzø groans at the situation with Moxxie before trudging up to the trapped. "Fucking damnit Moxxie. Not your fucking maid damnit. C'mon Mills. Let's get your boytoy out of there." He waves lazily to Millie for them to get to work. She nods and heads with their boss to free him.
Ajax lets out a deep breath, hoping he can relax now.
"Excuse me my strapping fine fellow."
Of course he doesn't.
Ajax turns to regard the recently made sinners as Loopty pokes his shoulder to get his attention. Both of them smile at him as Loopty continues. "While you were… disposing of out would-be party crasher, my partner and I have been discussing."
"We would like to have a word with you." Lyle chimes in and speaks, "So we may be able to discuss a… worthwhile business opportunity." He finishes saying with a slightly more devilish grin on his face.
Ajax regards the two of them for a second, unsure of what it is they want to talk to him about. Admittedly he's nervous being alone with them as he's worried they might have figured out what he's done to them… but at this point he's too tired to think too much on it and will deal with it when it comes down to it. He turns back to his boss, "Hey boss! I'm going to show the inventors out the front door properly so we don't have anymore property damage!" He calls out.
"Yeah yeah sure! Good idea! Got enough shit to deal with. C'mon Moxxie suck in that fat gut!" Blitzø pretty much insults him as he tries to drag Moxxie out by the underarms but all he does is stretch the imp painfully. The smaller imp is still stuck pretty good as Millie tries to lift off the huge chunk of concrete and rebar using a crowbar to little success.
Ajax nods before looking back at the enthusiastic inventors. He sighs tiredly before nodding at them. "Cmon, let's walk and talk."
"Oh goody!" Loopty giddily states with small hand claps as the two follow the human out the office.
A couple days have passed since the rest of the members of IMP have seen Ajax since he left with the inventors.
At the time they were expecting Ajax to simply lead them to the front door and that would be it but seems that wasn't the case.
"Jeez where the fuck is he?!" Blitzø loudly and angrily demands. He is sitting on the couch and thumbing the hammer on his flintlock while he lazily sits on one end of the couch, his arm with the gun hanging off the side. "Did those crazies Loofa and Larry kidnap him or some shit?" He mutters annoyed.
"Lyle and Lipton sir." Moxxie says with a roll of his eyes as he examines one of the revolvers cylinders they used on the job before. He is sitting on the other end of the couch. "And I highly doubt those two, while scary and geniuses, will be able to take Ajax without a fight."
"You just loving riding his dick don't you Mox?" Blitzø playfully says as he prods Moxxie's cheek with the tip of his boot.
Moxxie tries to knock his appendage away with a hiss and annoyance.
"Ah wouldn't worry 'bout him." Millie chimes in now, sitting on the edge of Loona desk, legs crossed and gently swinging one leg back and forth. "Ah'm sure he's got somethin' else that's keepin' him occupied."
"He's on Earth."
"See!" Millie says with a smile at being proven right… she then gets a confused look as she turns to Loona, who is sitting at her usual spot and surfing the web on her computer. "He is?"
"Looooniiiee! What the fuuuuuck?!" Blitzø cries out like his heart his broken. "You knew this whole time? And you didn't tell us?" He asks in faux surprise.
"You never asked." She replies simply.
"Wha—!" Her adoptive father looks taken aback before he stammers, "But- It was- It should be implied-? Oh fucking damnit!" Blitzø shouts as he collapses on the couch annoyed with the whole thing. He pinches the bridge of his nose before sighing. "Okay… well what the fuck is he doing there? I thought he was talking to the inventors about some shit?"
Loona lets out a breath of air annoyed at the questions directed towards her. "I don't really know. He said he needed to go back to earth for something… said he needed to get back what he had lost or some cryptic shit like that."
"Well he better not be trying to shake those genius dumbasses for anymore cash. As much as I'd prefer to get much more dinero, I don't want to get those assholes angry with us, or even like us for that matter, enough to get them to start busting through our walls again." Blitzø grumbles at the though.
Moxxie just about has a panic attack as he whirls around and looks out the window behind him. He glances to the sides, even up and down to make sure nothing's going to break in. After a few moments he, sighs and breathes a sigh of relief.
*Ding*
"Aahh!" Moxxie yelps at the loud noise as his body jerks a little. The other imps look at him weirdly while Moxxie nervously chuckles at the embarrassing moment. They soon shift their attention to the source of the noise: Loona's phone.
She picks up her phone lazily and looks at the message she received. Soon enough she smirks and gets up, grabbing the grimoire as she does. "Well, you can ask him what he was doing. He just texted for a pick-up."
"About fucking time!" Blitzø pushes himself off the couch and stalks up to the portal as Loona opens it up. "He's got a lot of explaining to do going AWOL like that." The portal finishes opening up and stabilizes. "That's what he would say right? AWOL's that military schtick he sometimes goes on about?" Blitzø turns around as he asks the others nonchalantly.
"Something like that." Loona shrugs as the others nod along.
"Oh great!" He smiles as he turns to step through the portal. "Now we can go ahead and—"
*Smack*
"Arhhh my nose!" Blitzø cries out as when he goes to step through the portal, he rams face first into a box and recoils back. "Stupid… fucking… titty shitting… mother-…" He continues to curse under his breath as he moves about annoyed and angry.
"Oh, sorry boss." A person carrying a large stack of boxes says as he tries to maneuver through the portal. It's hard to see who it is but the voice they somewhat recognize. "Didn't see you there."
"Son of a- What the fuck ever! Jaxie what the fuck happened?! Where the hell have you been?" Blitzø grunts as he rubs his nose to alleviate the pain and the tears out of his eyes.
"Sorry about that." The guys says as he manages to step through, being careful with the boxes he's got stacked up to past his head. "Lyle and Lipton asked me to help them with something so that took a little longer than I thought." He informs them as he steps towards Loona's desk. The Hellhound herself though sniffs a few times as he passes by her. Her eyes widen as she turns to him and narrows her eyes at his back, even as she notices a small change in his voice.
"Well I hope you fucking got paid." Blitzø states firmly as he glares at his employee, though he notices his daughter looking tense as she seems to extend her claws. Blitzø also narrows his eyes as he slowly pulls out his flintlock. M&M notice their actions and get their weapons too just in case.
"Well…" The guy mutters a little, dragging out the word a little as he answers, "I got paid yes…" He says as he places the boxes down on the corner of her desk. He stretches his back a little as he pops his wrists, he smiles as he turns around. "But what I got was something that can't be sha—"
*Click*
Before he can finish speaking, several guns are thrust into his face and Loona grabs the front of his shirt with one hand and holds her claws out close to his face.
He glances at them confused as his eyes move about between them. "—red." He finishes speaking. "Something up?" He asks nonchalantly.
"Okay, who the fuck are you?! Blitzø loudly demands with his flintlock aimed right between his eyes.
"Why were you on the other side of the portal?!" Moxxie demands holding a shotgun at him.
"How did you get our number?!" Millie adds wielding a pistol.
"And why do you smell… off?" Loona finishes with her question as she bares her fangs. Ajax looks confused before a look of realization crosses his features. Before he can say anything, Loona takes a whiff of his scent before her eyes widen. "Wait a second…" She lets him go as she gets in real close to his face, making him lean back as she scrutinizes him intensely.
"What are you—"
"Shut up." She stops him from talking as she grabs his face and holds him still. He stops talking as her hand closes his mouth as she examines him a few times.
The imps slightly lower their weapons as they now appear confused. "Uhhhh Loonie… what's going on?" Blitzø asks her at her odd behavior.
Loona doesn't answer him as she continues to focus. She sniffs another time and lets him go as he stares at her. They both look into each other's eyes for several long and tense seconds.
Their red eyes.
Loona's eyes widen as she steps back and looks shocked. "No fucking way…" She almost whispers
"What?! What's wrong?!" Moxxie asks in concern as he reaims his shotgun.
"How did…" Loona begins to say in disbelief before looking just a moment confused, "Old man?"
Their looks turn to shock as their weapons fall to their sides as they stare in a mixture of shock and confusion.
"… Hm hm hm hmhmhmhm…" He chuckles for a few seconds at their reactions. He closes his eyes as he lightly laughs and shakes his head a little. He takes a deep breath as he looks to the side in wonder. "Not really old anymore, huh Loona?" He says to her good naturedly before crossing his arms and looking at the entirety of IMP as whole.
Gone is the grizzled old war veteran Ajax. Now, a new person stands before them but with the same heart as what they have come to know of.
He has a full head of black hair parted to the side, his face is fair with clear complexion without a speck of facial hair on his face. His same red eyes can be seen to finish off the appearance of his head.
"Hey guys, glad to be here." He nods to them with a slight bow.
"…WHHHAAAAAATTTTTT?!" They all shout in surprise and very much confusion.
And there we go people, a moment I've been waiting for and excited to get to in this story. Ajax has been dealing with the problems of age catching up to him.
And now it seems he was able to find a solution to fix himself. All will be explained next chapter, but if you've been reading, paying attention and watching the show, it doesn't take much to realize exactly what Ajax did. Only this time, theirs a twist to it and should fit well considering everything.
Ultrautahraptor: I'm glad you liked how things went with Striker. I agree and would have liked to see Ajax win but as we know he can't win everytime. It sucks but leaves room for improvement for himself.
As for the tooth, I have an idea for it that I'm not sure a lot of people will think will happen but suffice to say it will be useful for him.
Just so everyone knows I've also been hit with the email notification problems so things are finicky as it is for this site. Not to mention some weeks back we had the site going down completely for a time so that sucked. I'm going to look into dual uploading onto Ao3 as a backup but for now I'm going to continue on this site and such. Hopefully we don't have to worry about things messing up again so badly soon.
Thank you all for your continued support. Things are going pretty crazy for the shows story and I'm liking how things are going for my story too. Getting into some fun territory. Go ahead and fave, follow, review, whatever you wish. Have fun reading, but more importantly, have a great day each and every one of you.