101Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter or the Dresden Files.
When Harry met Harry
"Talking"
"Thinking"
It was disconcerting not to see Hagrid up at the staff table. Harry, Ron, and Hermione wondered if he had been hurt or left. Harry chose to think that he simply hadn't gotten back from his mission yet. That was something Ron agreed with. Hermione did too, only silently.
She looked up and down the staff table, biting her lip as she did, and noticed something. "Who's that?" she asked, pointing to the end of the table.
Harry followed the finger. Sitting in a chair that close to the table (but not quite) was a familiar woman. She was squat with a toadlike face and pouchy eyes. Mouse-brown hair rested in a horrible pink Alice band. The same pink also existed in the cardigan she wore over her robes.
He knew her all too well. "It's that Umbridge woman!"
"Who?" said Hermione.
"She was at my hearing, she works for Fudge."
"Nice cardigan," said Ron, smirking.
Hermione frowned. "She works for Fudge. What on earth's she doing here, then?" She looked at the staff table again. "It can't be for the Defense class." That seat had been left empty. So what was this Umbridge woman doing here?
Whatever she was thinking, it was interrupted by a blur across the table. Harry looked down at the cat looking up at him. "Someone misplace their pet?" he asked. The cat quickly turned disinterested and settled down before him. Its fur was grey and the only sign of a tail was a stump.
"Can't be," Hermione said. "The pets have been taken to the dormitories or the Owlery." They weren't allowed at the welcoming feast.
Ron looked at the cat itself. "Blimey, he's a big one. That can't be a regular cat."
"Maybe he's like Crookshanks?" Harry looked at Hermione. "Half-Kneazle?"
"Perhaps." She didn't quite believe it, though. "He might be a little bigger than Crookshanks, though."
"Mister, what are you doing?" a voice asked from behind Harry. He turned around and his tongue shriveled up and escaped down his throat. From the looks of things, that was the reaction of every boy close by.
She stood tall, probably taller than them all (although a few might grumble they were still growing). She wore jeans tight enough to show the curves in her legs, with torn patches hinting at bare skin. Her shirt hung above her belly button, showing a hint of a tattoo curling up her body, while also hanging off her shoulders, leaving them bare save for the bra straps. Her blonde hair was definitely eye-catching, especially when the tips were colored a frozen pink and icy blue. At a certain angle, it looked as if the hair covered one of her eyes. The ear shown had an earring while one of her eyebrows was pierced. Her whole posture was assured, confident. This was a woman who could handle herself.
"You know you're not supposed to be scaring the kids," she told the cat. "That's for tomorrow." She leaned down between Harry and Ron and picked up the cat. It didn't resist, leaning into her scratching. "Sorry about that," she told the Gryffindor table. "This lump of fur got away from me."
"Uh, it's no problem," Harry said, doing his best not to blush. "Who are you?"
She smiled and several boys lost their hearts again. "Name's Molly, Molly Carpenter. And you are?"
"Harry, Harry Potter." He waited for the usual reaction to come. It always did.
"Guess all we'd need is a bricklayer and we could start building a house," she remarked. Silence reigned as they all looked at her. "Hmm, tough crowd."
She didn't know who he was? Harry wasn't sure how to feel about that. Relieved? Or disappointed? "You're from America?" he asked, choosing to focus on her. The accent did stand out.
"Yep, from Chicago." She looked at them all with a bright smile. "Gotta say, never thought I'd come to England. Those accents are killer, by the way."
"That's good, right?" Ron asked. He wasn't sure but it seemed good.
"Oh yeah. You bring that accent to my neck of the woods and girls would be all over you." He blushed at the praise. Hermione frowned, which Molly noticed. "And the same for the boys for all the girls here." Now it was Hermione who was blushing.
"Why are you here?" Neville asked. He was blushing just like everyone else but did his best to keep his eyes on her (her face, that is).
Molly glanced back at the staff table. "The principal here hired my boss for a teaching gig. And where the boss goes, I go."
That meant he was teaching Defense Against the Dark Arts. "You-your boss? He's a wizard?"
She nodded. "Yep." She looked back. "Ah, looks like he's already sitting down."
Everyone looked up at the staff table. There was someone new there, but it wasn't what they expected. "Uh, that's a dog," Lavender said. It was a big dog, easily able to be seen over the table while on its haunches, but still a dog.
Molly smirked. "From what I've heard about this place, is that really so odd?" She left at that, the cat still in her arms.
"Is she pulling our leg?" Ron asked. It was much easier to talk now that she was gone.
Harry wanted to think she was but she also had a point. "Maybe he's an Animagus?"
"But then why he's still in that form?" That, Harry didn't have an answer to. No one really did. They also wondered why Dumbledore would hire an American
Whatever the case was about the American wizard and her possible dog-boss, it was quickly put to the side as Professional McGonagall led the first-years into the Great Hall, carrying the Sorting Hat on its stool.
The song was different from what Harry had heard before. He wasn't the only one who thought the same. As the song ended, people applauded but also whispered amongst themselves. The Hat usually told the first years about the houses and the qualities they looked for. It didn't try and give advice.
Dinner came after the sorting. More than a few people focused on the food. Harry paid some attention to a conversation with Nearly Headless Nick about the hat's warning. It ended with Ron somehow insulting the ghost, making him leave, and Hermione getting upset with Ron. They bickered and Harry tuned them out. He was too used to it now.
Once the food was all gone and the students started talking amongst themselves, Dumbledore rose. The Great Hall fell silent. "Well, now that we are all digesting another magnificent feast, I beg a few moments of your attention for the usual start-of-term notices," he began. "First years ought to know that the forest in the grounds is out of bounds to students – and a few of our older students ought to know by now too." No one needed to wonder who said students were.
"Mr. Filch, the caretaker, has asked me, for what he tells me is the four hundred and sixty-second time, to remind you all that magic is not permitted in corridors between classes, nor are a number of other things, all of which can be checked on the extensive list now fastened to Mr. Filch's office door.
"We have had two changes in staffing this year. We are very pleased to welcome back Professor Grubbly-Plank, who will be taking Care of Magical Creatures lessons. Our new Defense Against the Dark Arts has come all the way from Chicago. Please welcome Professor Dresden and his apprentice, Molly Carpenter."
The applause was polite but a bit underwhelming. It was because everyone was still staring at the dog. When the applause finally died, the dog was still there. "Isn't he going to change back now?" asked one of the Ravenclaw seventh years.
Molly started laughing from where she sat next to Professor McGonagall. It was a rich laugh that had plenty of warmth and made knees weak. "Alright, Mouse," she told the dog. "That's enough." The dog huffed and padded away.
Everyone didn't pay much attention to the dog, because they were staring at the woman. "Ms. Carpenter," Dumbledore said, more amused than anything, "would you care to explain?"
Her laughter died down at his question. "Sorry about that. We wanted to see how long it would take someone to catch on. Plus, Boss believes that if you're going to make an entrance, you'd better well make an entrance."
The doors opened with a boom rivaling thunder. All eyes turned as a man strode in. Harry had always thought no one could match Hagrid's height and while this man was still shorter in comparison, he was also the tallest man Harry had ever seen. A black duster covered his body. His right hand gripped a staff that nearly matched his height. As he walked down, his eyes swept over everything and anything. No one knew what he was looking for. They weren't sure what it was to begin with.
A whistling note echoed in the air, accompanied by drums and what might've sounded like a human voice. Harry thought it sounded familiar, but he couldn't place it.
The new professor seemed to know what it was. He came to a stop before the dais and looked at Molly. "Really, Grasshopper?" he asked her. "That song?"
"Hey, if it works," she answered. "And let's face it, boss, The Good, the Bad and the Ugly works. All you'd need is a hat." He frowned. She grinned in response.
"Professor Dresden," said Dumbledore. "Welcome to Hogwarts. Might I ask where you've been?"
"Had to find where the staff lived so I could convince to them to become my minions," he answered as he walked around the staff table. "Now that they're convinced, I can continue with my plans for world domination."
His words left everyone puzzled. They sounded serious but had a heavy sarcastic tone to them. "Is that all?" asked the headmaster. "Why did it take you so long?"
"They're quite loyal to you, but I managed to get them with the benefits package."
"Ah. I'll have to see if I can make a better offer. I imagine it won't take me as long, since you had hours to find their quarters."
The new professor stared at the headmaster and then pointed, almost dramatically, at him. "You're good." Dumbledore simply smiled.
"Boss, why are you worried about minions here?" Molly asked as he sat down. "You've already got minions back home."
"I did say world domination, Padawan. You can't just have minions from one place." She considered his words for a moment, then shrugged.
"He's kidding, right?" Neville asked, looking at the people around him. "He's not actually planning to take over the world, right?"
"If he is, maybe he can take care of Voldemort," Harry remarked. It would certainly be one less problem for him. His words earned him looks from people around him.
Dumbledore continued. "We also have Ms. Umbridge, a representative from the Ministry. Tryouts for the House Quidditch teams will take place on the—"
Umbridge cleared her throat, a hem, hem sound, making the headmaster pause, and got to her feet. While the headmaster didn't seem so surprised by her actions, the other teachers were. Even the new professor raised an eyebrow.
"Thank you, Headmaster," she said with a simper, "for those kind words of welcome." She cleared her voice again and spoke to everyone.
Looking back, Harry couldn't remember what her speech was about. It had been that boring. But that wasn't he focused on. Her voice had this breathy, little-girlish, high-pitched to it. Just listening to it could make a person hate her. It certainly didn't help that she clearly spoke down to all the students, treating them like they were little children who hadn't an idea what was going on.
When she was done, she sat back down, looking quite satisfied. Then the new professor stood up. "For those of you who tuned her out, I'll summarize: Big Brother is watching you." Molly snickered. She was the only one. Umbridge looked outraged. The students didn't know what his words meant but they didn't seem good.
Harry didn't think about the new professor until it was time for his class. After History of Magic, Potions, and Divination, not to mention everything that happened in between (Hermione's new stance on house-elves and Ron's opinion on professional Quidditch teams to name two), the slight curiosity about the new class was enough to get him going.
The classroom was still the same in shape, but the details were different. Bookshelves were placed against the backwall. He couldn't make out what kind of books were stacked there, thanks to the large chalkboard standing beside the teacher's desk, but they didn't look like books a professor would have. For one thing, the majority of them were paperback. The professor's cat was sprawled across the shelves, looking quite relaxed. The same could be said for the dog as it napped on its cushion.
Professor Dresden waited in front of his desk. He caused a stir just by his clothes alone. The fifth years had gotten used to Hogwarts by now, so they shouldn't be surprised by their teachers. Still, they expected them to wear robes or some version of a suit. Professor Dresden was wearing jeans and a black t-shirt that read "'Nuff said." A silver pendant rested around his neck and a bracelet made of little shields hung on his left wrist.
People looked around as they took their seats. Professor Dresden smirked. "Before we start," he said, "show of hands: who expected to see my apprentice here with me?" Most of the boys raised their hands. The girls frowned but they did too. "Well, sorry to disappoint you. It was decided that Molly would be teaching the first to third years, the ones not in the throes of puberty."
The door to the class opened and Ms. Umbridge walked in. "Oh, sorry," she said. "I thought I could come in before class started. You don't mind if I watch, do you, Professor Dresden?"
Harry wanted him to say no. But he only shrugged. "If you want to. Just keep quiet."
"I'll try."
He swept his eyes past her and back to the class. "Alright, some grounds rules. First off, leave the whole house point system at the door. You won't earn or lose them here." There were some protests, which he cut off with a hard look. "Hey, my classroom, my rules. Second, just because there are no house points doesn't mean you won't be punished. Annoy me enough and you'll be serving detention with Mouse." He pointed his thumb at the dog.
It was tempting to laugh. Harry was sure he wasn't the only one. But when the giant dog raised its head and looked at them all, the temptation faded away. Somehow the dog conveyed that it would be handling the detentions and it would be smart not to try anything.
"Alright, so I've been going over what you've learned the past few years," Dresden continued. "And it's all over the place, thanks to your past teachers. So, I figured it's best to start basically. We'll start with the Laws of Magic."
No one hid their groans as he walked over to the chalkboard. Looked like they weren't going to be doing any practicing today. "The first Law is Thou Shalt Not Kill," he said, writing the rule on the board. "What do you think that means?"
Hermione's hand shot up. "That the Killing Curse should not be used on anyone," she answered.
The professor didn't seem impressed with her answer. "So I can set a man on fire with magic but so long as I didn't use the Killing Curse, I'm fine?" he asked. The question caught her by surprise. He didn't stop there. "What if I drowned the man by coating his head in a sphere of water? Drained him of his blood? Would I still be okay?" Hermione didn't have an answer. She was too busy staring at him with wide eyes.
"The First Law means you don't kill using magic, period," he told the class. "Doesn't matter what shape it takes, don't do it." His hand continued writing. "The Second Law: Thou Shalt Not Transform Others. Basically, no turning people into toads. Doing so will cause damage to someone, eventually reducing them to the animal they were. Keep turning a man into a frog, eventually he'll start thinking like a frog."
That law made people pay attention and not for a good reason. It sounded like their Transfiguration class was breaking this law. Hermione's hand shot up again. "Does this law only apply to humans, Professor?" she asked, speaking for the whole class.
He smiled. "I know what you're thinking, kid. McGonagall and I covered this before school started. Since her Transfiguration class works with inanimate objects, you're fine."
Everyone felt better at that. Then Harry thought about Sirius and his father. They were Animagi. Wouldn't that be breaking the law? "Sir?" he asked, raising his hand. "What if someone was to transform themselves?"
"Perfectly fine but dangerous if they don't know what they were doing." Well, that was good. The professor kept writing. "The Third and Fourth Laws can be lumped together. Thou Shall Not Invade the Mind of Another & Thou Shall Not Enthrall Another. Basically, don't go mucking through someone's head and don't bind their will to yours."
This time, it was Dean's hand that went up. "Sir, does this Third Law include memories?" he asked. No one needed to ask about the Fourth Law. It sounded too much like the Imperius Curse.
Professor Dresden's voice was as hard as his expression. "Yes." He went back to the board. "The Fifth Law is Thou Shall Not Reach Beyond the Borders of Life." He paused and looked hard at the class. "Necromancy. Just a bad idea all around." No one could argue with that. "The Sixth Law is Thou Shall Not Swim Against the Currents of Time."
A cold feeling crawled down Harry's spine at that law. It took a lot of effort not to look at Hermione, even when he knew she was thinking the same thing he had. The Time-Turner during third year. He had used it once, but Hermione had used it plenty of times.
"And the Seventh Law is Thou Shall Not Open the Outer Gates," Professor Dresden finished off. His hand came off the chalkboard as he looked at the class. "Don't reach out beyond this reality. Considering you guys, that'll probably take some effort."
Ms. Umbridge, who had steadily gotten annoyed as the Laws were written, finally chose to speak. "Professor Dresden—"
He ignored her for the class. "Who here would like to guess what happens when one of the Laws is broken?"
It took a moment for anyone to answer. It was Neville who finally did. "Imprisonment?" he asked. If the Killing Curse and the Imperius Curse were mentioned, the offender would be sent to Azkaban.
But Professor Dresden shook his head. "Death," he answered, shocking the class. "You break one of these Laws, your head will end up on the chopping block, literally."
"Mr. Dresden!" Ms. Umbridge shrieked. Now that she finally had his attention, she strode up to the front. "This is not material these children need to know!"
"Funny, I'd say it's material they'd absolutely need to know," he replied, uncaring about her rage.
Hermione's hand came up. "Professor, what about Azkaban or other kind of imprisonment?" she all but demanded. "Surely death isn't the only answer!"
Professor Dresden wasn't upset by her question. If anything, he was somber. "Breaking one of the Laws will leave a stain on your soul, kid. Break a Law once, it'll start being easier to keep breaking it. Then the other Laws will seem fine to break. Then you'll start finding it fun, because you'll enjoy the power it gives you.
"I attended an execution once. It was for a kid practically the same age as you all. He had enthralled his family, forcing four of them to commit suicide and had others hide bodies from the cops. Three of his victims might've been able to recover their sanity. Before the boy died, he was shrieking words filled with hate at anyone who'd listen. He didn't want to stop. He had to be stopped."
Again, Harry felt a chill down his spine. Those words scared him, scared him more than the dementor attack before school and the hearing had. It wasn't just the words but how the professor spoke them, flat without any emotion. He was reciting a memory that he didn't want to relive.
Harry didn't know why his hand went up but once it was there, the question followed. "Professor, what if you had no other option but to break a Law?" He was still thinking about the Time-Turner.
"Then you'd better have a damn good reason. Anything less gets the block. Even then, you'll be put under the Doom of Damocles and be watched." He looked at everyone, still ignoring Ms. Umbridge. "I'm not telling you this to terrify you, but to let you know what would happen. Ignorance of the Laws is not an excuse."
"Mr. Dresden, this is quite enough!" Umbridge told him. Her face had turned into a scowl, somehow becoming even more toadlike.
Finally, he looked at her. "Thought I was a professor."
"After what I've just listened to, your credentials will have to be checked. Where did Dumbledore find you?"
"In the yellow pages. I'm under W, for Wizards."
As always, Hermione was the first to understand what he meant. "You…you're publicly announcing that you're a wizard?" she asked in a shocked voice.
"And a private investigator," he added.
That didn't matter much. "You're breaking the Statue of Secrecy. Why haven't you been arrested?"
"Never underestimate the capacity of human disbelief. If they want to think something isn't real, they'll convince themselves that it's true. Why, just look at yourselves." His hand swung out in a gesture that clearly mocked them all. "A dark wizard has come back from the dead and you're all sticking your heads in the sand, hoping he'll go away."
Harry got mad. He knew that Voldemort was back. His head wasn't in any sand. But when he glanced, he saw the other students looking like they've been caught red-handed. Maybe the lot of them didn't believe Voldemort was back, but they hadn't been expected to be called out like that.
"That is enough," Ms. Umbridge declared. "Mr. Dresden, you will not propagate what is clearly a lie to these children. I will be informing the Minister of this and you can expect your termination from Hogwarts shortly." She was practically triumphant as she stared him down. It was a little difficult since he towered over her.
He regarded her with an amused look. "Good thing I was notified about this. Tell me, Ms. Umbridge, how involved are you with the Ministry?"
Harry thought it was a strange question. Ms. Umbridge didn't. "I'm Senior Undersectary to the Minister."
"Then you'll know what this means: I'm part of the White Council." Harry didn't know what that meant but Ms. Umbridge paled. As did most of the purebloods in the class. "Essentially, you can't do jack to me. So why don't you do us both a favor and leave, before I make you leave?"
Mouse stood up to his full height and looked at her. That was all it took to make her flee the classroom.
At the end of the day, Harry was still wondering what the White Council was. So was Hermione and everyone who wasn't a pureblood. Ron explained it to them that night in the common room.
The White Council was a group of powerful witches and wizards. They were so powerful they didn't hold themselves to the Statue of Secrecy or any rules made by the Ministry of Magic. They were backed by the Wardens, grey-cloaked wizards with swords that supposedly could break through any spell. While they could offer a regular wizard the chance to join, they usually found and trained their own apprentices.
And now, one of them was their DADA professor. No one needed to say it, but now he seemed intimidating. Hermione was trying to figure someway to justify the Time-Turner, all without saying anything. Meanwhile, the first years couldn't stop talking about Molly Carpenter. Apparently, she was like the best big sister some of them never had.
"Hey, guys." Everyone turned towards the entrance and saw Molly standing there. She looked a little different. It might've been the fact her shirt covered everything or her hair was pulled back in a tail, but Harry could see the big sister the first years were talking about.
Dean stared at her. "How'd you get in? You're not a Gryffindor."
She shrugged. "I'm technically a TA, so I can come in if I want to. Plus, I asked the Fat Lady if I could. Never hurts to have manners." She walked into the common room, right over to Harry's group. No one was surprised.
But she looked at Hermione first. "Boss said he'd talk about the Seven Laws," she remarked.
"He did," Hermione said, trying not to show anything.
It didn't seem to work. Molly leaned in close, close enough so the three of them could hear. "You did something, didn't you?" Hermione's eyes widened with panic. Her lips parted but Molly continued. "Don't tell me. You don't tell me; I won't have to tell the Boss. Just tell me this: do you plan on doing it again?" Hermione shook her head fast. "Good. I'm sure he gave you all the lecture about the Laws but let me tell you something I learned: 'I didn't do anything wrong,' is never an excuse and the road to Hell is paved with good intentions."
Three sets of eyes stared at her. "You mean…?" Ron asked, only to falter. She hadn't said it, but the implication was clear.
"Kids with magic make mistakes. I was one of the lucky ones." When she pulled back, the somberness in her expression disappeared. "Harry, my Boss would like to know when the weird stuff is going to happen this year," she said in an official voice.
Harry didn't ask what weird stuff. Four years at Hogwarts already had a lot of evidence. Instead, he asked, "Why?"
"So that when it does happen, he can either have an alibi or be on the other side of the castle."
The answer took him by surprise. "Huh?" It was the only intelligible thing that came out.
"It's so he can say that whatever happens wasn't his fault. Considering the stories I've heard about him; he's probably got a point." She turned thoughtful. "Maybe it's something to do with the name and the fact you've got magic."
"What?" That, at least, sounded better.
"You've both got the same first name." She looked around the common room, noticing everyone staring at her. "People over here are scared of the bad guy, except Harry Potter. Where I'm from, the bad guys are scared of Harry Dresden." She gave Harry one last look. "The end of the week work for you?" He nodded once before she walked out.
Ron looked at the door for a long second before he looked at his best friend. "Guess that's why Dumbledore hired him. Maybe two Harrys will scare You-Know-Who off."
Harry laughed. The little joke took a weight he didn't know he had off his chest. Plus, now he wanted to see what would happen when Professor Dresden went up against Voldemort and the Death Eaters.
End
Author's note: Thank you for all the reviews you've sent me.
This idea started after I read Harry Potter and the White Wizard by Cyberwraith9. I was always miffed that he never wrote a chapter explaining the Seven Laws of Magic to Hogwarts after Harry chewed Molly out about her being a Slytherin and by default, a dark wizard. So this was my attempt at doing it.
Originally, the idea had been to do just that. But the more it bounced around my head, the more I figured, what the hey, just do an original piece. As for where this falls in Dresden's history, it's between Turn Coat and Changes. To me, that always seemed like a quiet point in his life (which is really saying something, if you think about it).
In this world, the White Council and the Wizarding World are aware of each other. In the Wizarding World's eyes, the White Council is much more powerful but also don't respect bloodlines and families the way they do. It also doesn't help that both sides are isolationists and different priorities. If asked to help with Voldemort, the White Council's reaction would be pretty much "We're fighting a world war against a Vampire Court and you can't handle one dark wizard on an island?" Of course, if they knew about the Horcruxes, that might be a different thing altogether.
As you could probably guess, 5th year DADA is not going to be what the students expect. Less learning about spells, more learning about monsters, faerie, and how to fight them. Also probably running, a lot of running. I'd be willing to bet Harry Dresden will do two things while he teaches: forces the students to do laps so they can run and see if he can't sneak Thomas into Hogwarts when he reaches vampires in his lessons, just to see how the students would react.
Now, this was a conversation I had with Nimbus Llewelyn, author of Child of the Storm series (fantastic read with plenty of awesome, frightening, and funny as hell moments. You will learn just who Molly's second cousin is in this one). I wondered if Harry Dresden had a Patronus, what would it be. Mr. Llewelyn believed that it would be a horse, and I can see that. I believed it would be a toss-up, between Sue the dinosaur and Al Bundy. Sue because she is a walking font of destruction and Al Bundy because of how similar the two men are (living in Chicago, down on their luck, working crappy jobs to pay the bills, yet can and will kick some impressive ass).
What do you think?
I'll see you all next chapter!