"Elliot I'm not ready for this," Olivia begins. "I'm not ready for this," she says, touching her skin against his one last time before pulling back to the counter. "I'm not ready for this," she repeats, resting her head on the fridge.

She feels it. The exhaustion. All the way down to her bones. But she's never wanted anyone in her life as much as she's wanted – still wants…her former partner.

"You sound…tired," he starts. "Like the weight of not just the world but the universe is on your shoulders."

"Yeah," she rasps, agreeing.

"Liv, you gotta know I'm not trying to add to it," he asserts. "The opposite, actually," he tells her. "But I know I'm part of the reason things feel so heavy in the first damn place."

"Elliot…"

"Please just…listen."

"Okay."

"I've more than cared about you for a long time," he confesses. "And instead of dealing with that after the smoke cleared from Jenna, I ran," he admits. "I fucked us up. I hurt you. I broke our friendship – your heart. It was the most dishonorable thing I've ever done."

Elliot steps closer.

"So, if you're not ready right now, I get it," he tells her, offering a small smile. "And I won't stop trying to earn your forgiveness, Liv."

Because clearly, she has no problem trusting him. At least with her son. It's her heart she's guarding like a German shepherd in a junk yard.

"Could be a while," she warns. "A lot of shit happened while you were gone and I didn't have your support through any of it."

"That all this is?"

"Isn't it enough?"

"Liv…"

"I got used to it…you protecting me for twelve years," she tries. "Then the time abruptly came when you didn't. And that…was not a good day. I don't wanna get used to counting on you again."

He leans against the island is if she's punched him the gut, resting both hands on either side behind him to brace himself.

"Tell me what to do," he pleads. "Liv. Anything."

"You on call for tonight?"

"No, why?"

"Sleep with me."

His bushy eyebrows shoot up to his non-existent hairline.

"But you just said…"

"I mean it literally, Elliot," she tells him. "You said I sound tired and you're right. After this week I'm worn the fuck out," she admits. "And you just made a four-hour round-trip for my son after how many hours at OCCB?"

"Yeah…"

"We could both use some sleep," Olivia says. "I'm asking you to hold me while we do that…together."

She's never seen him speechless. If she didn't have so many things going on in her head and heart, she'd grab her camera to take a picture.

"Nod if you can handle that without you feeling like I'm giving you mixed signals."

Elliot comes to his senses, smirks and moves towards her to grab both hands.

"Which bedroom is yours?"

Now see, if he keeps talking to her in that voice, she's going to waver. And she can not waver because when they finally dive into what they both want to dive into, it's going to be a forever kind of thing.

"I'll show you."

Olivia releases his hands and she can feel him at her back as Elliot trails her to the door the furthest away from Noah's. She turns on her bedside lamp and starts sifting through her drawers to find something that may fit him. When she turns, old oversized gym shorts in hand, he's down to his white tank, jeans hanging open, shoeless. Gun and badge sit next to hers on the nightstand.

God give her the strength.

"These should fit," she manages, grabbing her own things and backing away towards the open en-suite door. "I'll be back in a few minutes."

It's surreal, she thinks after leaving the bathroom in her own pajamas, to see her partner, now shirtless, in her bed sitting against her tufted headboard.

"I get hot in my sleep," Elliot offers in explanation for his bare torso. "If it's awkward I can put my shirt back on."

"No, it's fine," she says. "But you're on my side so scoot over, Stabler."

Olivia settles in, turns off the lamp and stares at the ceiling. Elliot scoots beneath the covers and turns to face her, the scant moonlight from her window creating enough light to see his clear blue eyes when she chances a glance.

"Thought you wanted me to hold you?"

"We've been…emotional tonight. Maybe it's not a good idea."

"I promise to behave myself."

It's not him she's worried about so she offers an alternative.

"I wanna be the big spoon."

His smirk is evident, even in near darkness.

"Whatever you say, Benson."

Elliot turns away from her on his side towards the window and waits. Seconds later, Olivia throws her arm over his waist and butts her forehead against his nape. He wastes no time covering her arm with his.

When he inhales, she exhales.

"Everything's changing again," she rasps. "I'm scared, El."

He feels her warm tears on his skin and pulls her closer.

"Change is inevitable, Liv," he soothes. "But it can also be a good thing."

Elliot safely brought Noah back, confessed he cares about Olivia without the veil of grief and PTSD and is willing to do whatever it takes to earn their relationship.

"And whenever you're ready," he continues. "I'll be right here."