90Edward's Point of View
The past few days have been relatively difficult, not only for Bella, but the tense atmosphere within the walls of my own home has been particularly hostile. Due to my own selfishness, my family has heavily divided. Involving myself with a human, worse yet, a student of mine, has left bad blood among some of my siblings. I could feel their cold stares on my back as I left every morning to visit Bella. And when I returned at night, the discomfort and frustration grew with each passing day.
I didn't care. Not in the slightest. For once, I'm choosing to be happy. As long as she will have me, I won't leave her side. I just hoped that I wouldn't regret this decision one day. The thought of possibly hurting her was an anxiety that I bared with our each interaction. I couldn't stop myself. Not anymore. I wanted to be close to her. Protect her and keep her close to my heart.
Today, was Rene's funeral. I already prepared for the evening. A simple, black suit. A bouquet of flowers to symbolize my deepest condolences. I also decided on a small gift for Bella's daughter, Mia. I will be officially meeting her today. As much as I wanted to make a good impression, today wasn't about me. This was about comforting a grieving family. Bella would need me today. She was incredibly strong, but I wanted her to know that when she feels weak and she can't stand on her own, I will be there.
I stood in the doorway to my room, feeling hollow without being in Bella's presence. Carlisle and Esme would be accompanying me, not only to show their support for Bella, but to make their acceptance of Bella known. I was relieved that they approved of our blooming relationship. Even though they had been hesitant.
But I knew today was the day. Rosalie was not doing to permit me to leave this house, until I heard what she had to say. It wasn't just her. Jasper also had a lot to say. I was dreading this conversation. I've been doing my best to ignore the constant negative dialog of their inner thoughts and feelings. Alice warned me ahead of time, of Rosalie and Jasper's intentions today. She was unexpectedly pleased that I decided to pursue a relationship with Bella. In fact, she appeared almost joyous when I made the announcement a few days ago. Of course, Emmett wasn't much different in that regard. He didn't have a strong opinion one way or another. He thought Bella was amusing and didn't mind that she was human.
I closed my eyes for a moment, ignoring the rattling of thoughts that bounced off me as I descended the stairs. I couldn't stall any longer. The funeral service was beginning soon and I wanted to be there to help Bella through this process. The moment I reached the bottom of the stairs, I was blocked by a fierce scowl. Rosalie stood in front of me, arms folding across her chest. Her blonde locks pulled away from her face, pinned back in a neat bun. She was wearing a simply black gown, which took me by surprise.
I hadn't thought she planned on attending the funeral.
Emmett was spotted leaning against the fall wall, further blocking my escape route. I couldn't have gotten around her, I was fast enough, but Emmett would definitely overpower me and stop me from leaving.
Sorry about this Eddie. If I don't stop you, she will be pissed. Emmett's thoughts rang through clearly and much too loudly.
I gave me a subtle nod, before allowing myself to meet Rosalie's harsh stare. Without looking away, I sensed Jasper at the top of the stairs, Alice clinging to his side. They both were dressed for the funeral as well. Again, I hadn't considered that they would want to attend the funeral. This took me off guard.
"Well, say what you need to say. I'm on time constraints." I didn't bother speaking politely. I didn't truly care what Rosalie had to say. I was tired of hearing her thoughts of Bella. Her calloused words and attitude towards her were infuriating.
"You know this is wrong. You realize what you're doing isn't just a risk to yourself. But to all of us here. If the Volturi catches word of this… we all die." Rosalie spat, narrowing her eyes further. "Is she really worth it?"
I forced back my instant fury, still, I felt a growl escape my clenched teeth. "She is more than worth it. If you're concerned for yourself, you are free to leave."
"You mean that," Jasper commented, no inflection in his voice. "You would choose her over your family?"
"If it were Alice, wouldn't you?" I challenged, turning to look at him.
He raised a brow, allowing a heavy sigh, letting his shoulders rise and fall. "Is that how it is? You're in love with her then. A human, with such a short, fleeting lifespan."
His words cut me like a dagger. Her mortality was still something I didn't want to focus on. I realized that she would continue to age, physically and mentally, while I remained stunted. Our future together was uncertain. But I knew in my heart, that this was what I wanted.
Before I could reply to Jasper's quip, Rosalie jumped in with dramatic effect. She pointed a sharp nail into my shoulder. "You should have settled down with Tanya. You two gave it a shot a few years back, didn't you?"
I winced inwardly as I recalled the damaging situation, I had placed us both in. It was true. We had co-habituated amongst the Denali coven for nearly a decade, before we made the move here to New Hampshire. Tanya didn't hide her feelings for me. Her quiet desperation had eventually worn me down. I was further motivated by Esme, who worried about me, she wanted to see me happy and to find my mate. At the time, I thought eventually I could grow to reciprocate Tanya's feelings. For everyone's sake. But unfortunately, I caused more damage than good. I tried to make things work, for a solid year. A year of misery and an even deeper, emptier loneliness; that I didn't even know existed.
"We weren't compatible. I couldn't fall in love with her. I tried." I muttered with a pinch of pain within my heart. She was a dear friend, I hated that I hurt her. I doubt she will ever want to speak to me again. I ruined a precious friendship. I wouldn't make the same mistake again.
"Did you really try though; you didn't even sleep with her. Not much of an attempt on your part Eddie." Emmett said with a hint of amusement on his face.
I shot him an annoyed look. "You're missing the point."
"No, you're the one missing the point here. To fall in love and pursue this relationship with a human goes against our laws. You would have been better off falling for another of our kind." Jasper interrupted.
He wasn't wrong. Of course it would have been much less complicated. But this was completely out of my hands. "It's not like I did this on purpose. I tried to forget her, but I can't. Forget about me, my future is her, whether that leads to my death or not. There is nothing you can say or do. My heart belongs to her now, I have no further choice in the matter."
Everyone went silent, watching me with a mixture of different emotions. Even their thoughts became quiet. Almost like a wave of whispers. Muddled and conflicting. The tension in the room was slowly dissolving. But reluctance was clear on Jasper's face. He and Alice shared a look. She gave him a reassuring smile as she leaned up to plant a kiss on his cheek. She moved to bob down the stairs to my side.
"You can't get in the middle of fate. The future is clear. Bella will keep our secret. We can trust her. And if you feel you still can't trust her, put your faith in Edward. He has earned that much from us."
Jasper and Emmett nodded in agreement, although the reluctance was clear on Jasper's face. He wasn't pleased, but he would never speak against Alice. He would always support her wishes, even if they didn't align with his own.
"I will put my trust in Alice. But at the first sign of danger, we will leave." The warning was clear. And I could respect this. If I was in his position, I would have come to the same conclusion. Bella's safety is above anything else. For the sake of her life, I'd leave my family as well, to guarantee her safety.
Jasper moved past me now, without another look. He went to Alice, and the two of them made their way out of the room. I could hear them move into the garage and begin loading the cars, Carlisle and Esme were already there, waiting on them. This left only Rosalie and Emmett.
I could hear Rosalie still wasn't willing to accept this. Her stubbornness was her least appealing trait. She annoyed me more than anyone else. Even though I was aware this all was coming from a good place. She had a horrible past and she fiercely cared for this family. She wanted to protect all of us. I just wish she could understand my feelings. Or at the very least, respect them.
"Why does your happiness matter more than the safety of the rest of us? We have all had to make sacrifices. What makes you special?" Rosalie shot at me, not bothering to sugar-coat her words.
"We live forever. That's a long time to wander this world alone. I've suffered in silence for over one hundred years. I truly was prepared to be alone for the rest of my days. In this dark, empty existence, I found a light. I found a purpose to live. I found happiness in another person, for the first time since I've been turned. And I will not let that go, no matter the cost. You can hate me for this, fine, you have every right to feel that way. But it doesn't change anything. I choose her."
Rosalie growled lowly, gritting her teeth as she turned away from me. She was getting frustrated and close to completely losing control of herself. If Emmett hadn't been there, she would have gone for the attack. He sensed this as well. Emmett moved to place a hand on her shoulder, stopping her from moving.
"Relax babe, Eddie deserves to be happy. Even if this chick is human. We can just turn her one day. Then we have nothing to worry about," He said, eyeing me with curiosity. "That's the plan, isn't it?"
The thought of Bella being turned… I hated to admit it, but it was something I really hoped she would be open to. I knew it was selfish of me to think this. I'd never ask her, or pressure her to make that kind of decision. But there was a little voice inside of me, pleading, begging for her to want forever with me.
"That is her decision." I said simply, turning to look away from the both of them.
"If you want her to be accepted into this family, she has to be turned. If you don't do it, I'll have to do it myself." Rosalie threatened.
I turned to glare in her direction. "You will do no such thing. It's not that simple. She has a very young daughter. How could she hope to continue being a mother to her, if she is craving to drink her own daughter's blood?" I snapped.
Rosalie instantly shrank back, a shocked look on her face for a fraction of a second. "You didn't mention she had a child…" Her demeanor seemed to change slightly. "She's… a single mother…"
"Yes, working hard to become a doctor, to support her daughter."
"And you are prepared to take on that kind of responsibility? To become a parent to this little girl?"
I squared my shoulders, giving her a hard nod. "I know exactly what I'm getting myself into."
Rosalie seemed at a loss for words, as her thoughts spiraled drastically in the opposite direction it had been going. She had a soft spot for children. Her thoughts turned to what the future might hold when Bella passes away. Her child will be left behind. Rosalie can potentially remain as a protector of the child. It was a fantasy. One that didn't sit well with me. But if this line of thinking was going to end any further discussion, I wouldn't speak out against her at this moment. I just wanted to see Bella.
"Well, that's another story. You should have mentioned she had a child. Will this child be at the funeral?" she asked, shifting to the side to allow me to pass her.
I jumped at the opportunity to finally get through. "Yes, she will be there. Keep your distance. This isn't the time for introductions. Today is about Rene."
Rosalie grumbled but didn't push the subject any further. Finally, I made it out of the house and out to my Volvo. I couldn't move fast enough. The hollow place where my heart used to be ached to return to Bella's side. I've never imagined feeling this way about another person. I hadn't expected to be bound so tightly, wrapped around her fingers. It happened so quickly. It left me feeling almost giddy.
I didn't bother waiting for the rest of my family. I peeled out of the driveway of our estate, reaching speeds that would have probably terrified a human. My thoughts were consumed by her image. My heart and mind were heavy.
I'll be there soon.
Bella's Point of View
I stood, trembling slightly, in a little black dress. My shoulders slumped inward; my head dipped down. I avoided the stares and the quiet muttering in the area. The church was enormous, yet I had a constant feeling of claustrophobia. Especially as more and more people arrived. It felt like the walls were closing in. Tension and discomfort kept me completely still. Just a few feet away was my mother's casket. I couldn't look at her. Not even the slightest glance. If I did, I wouldn't be able to keep myself composed. I didn't want to appear like the grief-stricken little girl, clinging to the memory of her mother. Not while my daughter was watching.
Charlie was standing at the doors to the church, welcoming and thanking each person that walked through the doors. If you didn't look at him too closely, you would have thought he was handling this well. But there were subtle things that hinted at his sadness. He kept a balled-up tissue in his hand. His eyes were bloodshot. When he spoke, he couldn't even utter her name. Not once today, could he say Renee. This was incredibly hard on him as well. Even though things hadn't worked between them, I knew he still held feelings for her. Maybe not romantic feelings, but there was something there. His first love. That meant something to him.
Jacob and Mia had arrived early, to help us get the room set up. They arranged flowers, passed out little pamphlets; that highlighted Renee's life and assisted Charlie in greeting the visitors. I was the only one that wasn't being helpful. I just couldn't get my legs to move. I was beginning to feel completely numb.
Lost within myself, I noticed Jacob instantly start marching towards the front of the church, passing Mia off with Charlie as he passed him. I had a bad feeling, something in my gut told me that I should follow him. He didn't look happy. I didn't want Jacob causing any trouble. Not today of all days.
With a bit of force, I pushed myself forward, following Jacob. But as I reached Charlie, he turned to me with a small frown on his face. "What's going on Bells?"
"I don't know. That's what I'm about to figure out."
"Well, don't take too long." He sighed, before turning his sight to Mia. "Come on kido, let's go find your snacks."
Mia had a sad look on her face, her eyes were puffy. She bobbed her head. Refusing to speak. She hasn't spoken a word since we told her grandma wasn't going to be waking up anymore. It was challenging to explain something like this to a young child like her. She was scared and upset. I wished things didn't turn out this way.
With a heavy sigh, I walked outside of the church, taken by surprise at the scene in front of me. Jacob stood in obvious defiance, blocking the path of Edward and a group of others standing behind him. My eyes scanned over the crowd; I recognized Dr. Carlisle and Emmett immediately. A women clung to their sides, beautiful and pale. In fact, the whole group shared that in common. Each so different, but so utterly stunning. This must be the rest of his family. They all had the same golden eyes, the same as Edward. It was touching that they all showed up.
"Don't take another step. You aren't welcome here. Leave. Now." Jacob barked with ferocity. His body was shaking, his hands balled into fists at his sides.
Edward barely looked in his direction, instead, his eyes found mine. I felt my breath caught. He looked dazzling in his black suit. A Greek god of sorts. Bronze hair tousled at the top of his head. My heart skipped a beat as I moved towards him.
"Jake. That's enough. Not here. Not today." I said as I went to stand next to him.
"You gotta be kidding me. You're not seriously going to let them in." He complained with a dark look at me. "Didn't we talk about this. You know what they are." His voice dipped down lower.
Ignoring Jacob, I moved to Edward, wrapping my arms around his shoulders, hugging myself to him. "Thank you so much for coming." I muttered quietly as I buried my face in his shoulder.
Initially, Edward froze under my touch, but swiftly he wrapped his arms around me, holding me close, I felt him breathing in slowly, taking in my scent. His lips pressed into the top of my head. "Of course, I apologize for being late." Lightly we let each other go. Sharing a lingering gaze before I stepped away completely. Now wasn't the time for public affection. Just in case there are any university students or staff present. We didn't what our relationship to be public knowledge at this moment.
His family appeared equally surprised by my actions, and I could almost feel Jacob's silent fuming. I didn't care. I didn't need anyone's acceptance. I was living my life for myself. Not for anyone else. The only thing that mattered was my feelings and Edward's.
"Thank you all for coming, feel free to come inside." With that, I gave Jacob a firm shove, walking him back towards the entrance of the church.
Jacob grumbled under his breath, allowing me to push him out of the way, so the Cullens could pass. As they passed, I heard a quiet conversation between Emmett and one of the other Cullen boys.
"One hell of a badass, did you see her boss that mutt around. You're a lucky guy Eddie." Emmett snickered, elbowing at Edward as they passed us. The blonde woman at his side rolled her eyes, before casting me a slightly cold look.
I waited for them to enter the church, before turning to Jacob. I wanted to speak with him privately. I didn't have a chance to tell him of my decision to pursue a relationship with Edward. It wasn't something at the top of my priority list. I had been busy arranging this funeral. It isn't the best time to be talking about this. But I knew he wanted answers. I would just get this over with.
"Listen, I had time to think things over. I'm not going to stay away from Edward."
Jacob glared openly at me. "What do you mean, you aren't staying away from him? Are you insane? Do you have a death wish or something?" He was visibly furious.
"To be honest Jacob, he has been nothing but wonderful since I've met him. He is kind, gentle and has been helping me through all this. I wouldn't be nearly as strong today, without him here."
There was a flash of anguish on his face, before he began shaking his head slowly. "He really has you brainwashed. It's a trick Bella. An illusion. He is a monster. And I will not allow him near Mia. Or you. End of story."
"It's not up to you Jacob. This is my life. My choice. I am sick and tired of you interfering with my life. Haven't you ruined enough of it?" I snapped with a glare of my own. I was getting heated. I've been through so much emotional turmoil; I was at my boiling point. My words were getting sharper.
"That isn't fair. You know it isn't. I didn't choose to be bound to Amelia. I didn't want to leave you. I love you, Bella. I know that I messed everything up. But that isn't what this is about. He is dangerous. If you continue this relationship, someone is going to get hurt. And I'm trying to prevent that from happening. Can't you see that?" He yelled back at me.
"It's time to mind your own business. I don't want or need you to get in the middle of this. Can't you see I'm finally starting to move on and be happy? Are you so selfish that you would try to take that from me, again? Are you so manipulative, that you would try to use Mia, as a reason to persuade me to do as you say." I felt tears coming to my eyes.
Jacob shut his mouth for a moment, watching me. His body was still trembling. Instead of answering, he turned his back on me. "Fine," He paused, his voice sounding strained and full of rage. "If that's how you feel, I'm leaving. I'll come for Mia tomorrow."
"Fine," I seethed, watching his retreating back. I could tell he was struggling to control his temper. There is no doubt in my mind, the only reason he was leaving was because he was about to phase. He needed to get out of sight and run some of these aggressive emotions out. He would return once he was better under control. Probably start to beg and apologize for his outbursts. But I didn't care. I was tired of hearing it. I was tired of him. I wouldn't care if he never came back.
I wiped my face as I made my way back into the church. Charlie was waiting for me with a look of concern. Mia stood by his side, her little hand clutching his pant leg.
"He left, didn't he?"
"Yeah," I glanced at Mia, then back to Charlie. I wouldn't speak badly about Jacob in front of Mia. Even though I really wanted to. Just for once, it would have been nice if he could have supported me, even if he was uncomfortable around the Cullens. "He had to do something important."
Charlie snorted, rolling his eyes. But thankfully, he let the conversation drop. Suddenly Edward appeared, walking over to us with a somber expression. My heart did a little flip as his butterscotch eyes found mine.
"Sorry to intrude," He started, before presenting a small, neatly wrapped present. "This is for Mia." There was a slight quiver in the hand that held the gift.
Mia turned to inspect Edward, then the little box. There was a shift in her expression. A hint of excitement entered her eyes. She looked at me, searching for approval.
"Wow, isn't that nice," I gave her a warm smile as I nodded for her to accept the gift.
Without any further hesitation, Mia took the present and began ripping into it. The carefully wrapped gift was now in shreds on the church floors. Charlie began chuckling quietly, as he cleaned up the scraps.
In her hands was the very doll that she had been asking for, for the longest time. In a pristine box, name brand. She had pointed out this very doll, while we were shopping, on several different occasions. I just didn't have the money to spend on something like this.
Mia left out a little squeal of joy as she moved the box up to me. "Open momma, open."
This was the first time I've heard her speak, since Renee had passed away. The sound of her voice filled me with relief. Tears threatened to spill down my cheeks as I took the box and began opening it. "What do you say to Edward?" I reminded her gently.
Mia turned to look at Edward, a huge smile on her face. "Thank you,"
"You're very welcome." Edward replied with a smile of his own. He watched her for a moment, seeming pleased.
The second I got the doll free, Mia grabbed it eagerly from my hands, before diving into playing with it. She was now in her glory. As if the crippling sadness she had been feeling, all but vanished completely.
Charlie extended his hand out to Edward with a small smile of his own. "Edward, was your name, is that right?"
Edward shook his hand with a serious look taking over his features. "Yes sir, it's a pleasure."
"Did you know Rene?"
"Actually, I'm in the university with Bella." Edward said smoothly avoiding the subject of his position within the college. It probably would be best to not mention he was my professor. It would make things a bit strange to explain our relationship in the future. Edward did appear young enough to be a student. In fact, the thought of him being a teacher seemed less believable.
Charlie glanced between the two of us, probably already suspicious. "Well, it was awfully kind of you to come Edward. You wouldn't want to join us for dinner this evening, would you?"
"I'd be honored, but unfortunately I have to go to work, shortly after this." He said apologetically.
Charlie nodded, his smile widening. "What kind of work do you do?"
"I work with my father in the local hospital." Edward turned to me with a soft smile. "I'll catch up with you a little later on, I have some homework for you."
"Alright," I responded with a little wave as Edward excused himself.
"He seems like a nice fellow." Charlie commented, once we were once again left alone. Mia played quietly on the floor with her doll, completely lost in her own little world.
"He really is," I nodded in agreement.
"A college man, with a good job. Quite a catch."
My cheeks warmed at Charlie's statement. Of course, my father wasn't dumb, and he always has been extremely observant. He was chief of police. He noticed everything and could draw fast conclusions. Or at the very least, he wanted to see my reactions to his words, so he could confirm or deny his suspicions.
"Yes, he is very impressive."
"Jacob left awfully soon after that boy and his family showed up. Do you suppose they know each other? Or have that met?"
Was he interrogating me now?
"Yes, they are… aware of each other. They don't have a good relationship."
Charlie nodded slowly, shrugging his shoulders. "And what is your relationship with this Edward boy?"
I sighed, peeking down at Mia. It wasn't the time to announce my intentions with Edward. Not here. Not on the day that we would be burying my mother. Not to mention, Mia was finally cheering up. This would be too much for her. She wouldn't understand. I didn't want to further complicate everything.
"He is a wonderful man," I paused, to speak a little quieter. "I really enjoy spending time with him. Maybe when things calm down… there will be time to think about the future." This was the best I could come up with.
Charlie caught on to the meaning behind my words. "I'm happy for you Bells, truly." He pulled me in for a one-armed hug, before letting me go. "Well, I think the service is about to start. We should probably get to our seats."
I nodded, taking another heavy breath. This was the part I was dreading the most. For some reason, it made everything feel permeant. Regardless, I lifted Mia up into my arms and walked with Charlie to the front of the church.
Let's just get this over with.
Thank you for reading! I hope you enjoyed this chapter. Leave a review with your thoughts. Do you think Jacob is being selfish?