Wonderful to Meet You, Mister Liar!

~[Is this the real life?

Is this just fantasy?

Caught in a landside,

No escape from reality

I'm just a poor boy nobody loves me

He's just a poor boy from a poor family,

Spare him his life from this monstrosity]~

Bohemian Rhapsody by Queen

AU! Summary: Yukine, 23 year old college student, decent cook, etc…

Super-slow updates since this story has yet to be completed-

Idk just had this idea n yeahhh

Decided not to rate M, still kinda violent



Part 1: Getting Familiar

Interrogation #1

"-I'm Yukine, 23, and, uh, yeah. Take a seat."

The guy in the navy tracksuit sat with a curious look around. Blue, cat-like eyes scanning the place like anything was interesting in the small apartment.

Pen and paper in hand, Yukine sat in front of the guy. His notebook flopped onto the tabletop once he dropped it. He checked the info he got on the handwritten business card. If it could be called a business card…



At your service!

I'll solve any problem at all!

And a phone number squished in-between the ridiculous writing.

It was definitely not a business card…

…More like some sort of identification for a movie character or something…

…Or a low-paid delivery person.

He cleared his throat and opened his notebook.

Confirming stuff was always nice.

"So, your name is…?"

"Yato!" the guy grinned, far too enthusiastic.

How does anyone have that much energy when it's not even afternoon yet?

"Right." Yukine's eyes were drawn to the next question. "And your age…"

Yato laughed and exclaimed, "Older than you."

Humming, Yukine scribbled 24 on the blank space. He ignored the guy peeking into what was written to ask, "And what about allergies?"

"I didn't know people ask so many questions when getting a roommate." the guy commented, still reading the upside down words. The page had about two dozen questions…

Yukine narrowed his eyes. I just like knowing stuff.

"If you wanna leave, you can." he said dryly.

Pen tapping the table, he repeated the question. "So? Allergies?"

Yato shook his head.

"Any favourite foods?"

A shrug. Then the guy was grabbing an apple slice from the plate. "I don't have a specific one I love since I love food in general-"

"-I guess your hobby includes talking." Yukine muttered, writing down fact after fact.

"My hobbies also include drawing, painting, reading, watching TV, sleeping-"

"-Any pets?"

Yato stopped listing the info already scribbled into the notebook to shake his head. "No…"

"Any habits like smoking, drinking, partying?"

"No…Not really…"

Question after question, with no wait, Yukine kept at it. Leaving no room for too much of an explanation. He didn't have the patience to deal with extra shit right now. And he was sleepy…

He looked at the final few questions. "When do you go to bed?" he asked.

The guy was gaping like that was a ridiculous thing to ask. Seriously, he thought, I don't get it. What is up with this guy?

"Well?" Yukine pushed, watching the final piece of apple eaten.

"Uhm," the guy began and looked away. Chewing thoughtfully, added, "I guess anytime…? When it's night…?"

"And when do you usually wake up?"

"…When it's morning…?" It was aggravating how the guy sounded so uncertain.

Yukine glared. "Are you saying or asking?"

"I'm saying, okay? Geez…" the guy huffed, waving a hand for Yukine to calm down. "I just didn't know there'd be so much stuff to answer."

"Do you have a car?" Yukine continued.

"Nope." the guy answered a little too smugly. Like there was something Yukine didn't know-

Yukine bristled. He demanded, "What's with that tone?"

"Huh?" A shrug. Blinking innocently, the guy feigned ignorance, smiling. "Nothing."

Scribbling some more, only final questions remained…

"Are you gonna have people over often?"

"Me? No…" the guy breathed sadly. "Unfortunately, I'm not that popular-"

"-I believe that." Yukine nodded, lips twisted up to ask the final question. "And, anything else I should know about?"

"I'm Delivery God Yato, at your service!" With a cheese-eating grin, the guy flipped his hair.

Guessing he has a delivery job…Yukine added that info beside the 'Job' question he'd written 'acting(?)' on. This guy must be poor to do such a thing for a living.

He shut the notebook. Well, whatever. "There's a room I used to have as storage, so you can use that room."

"Did you just ignore what I said?!"

"I heard the same line of 'Delivery' nonsense before. On the phone." And when I opened the door.

"Hey, it's not nonsense-" Since there had been nobody taking this roommate offer until this guy, there was little choice in the matter. The money was running low, and until Yukine could get things more stable, this guy would have to do.

He put a hand out to shake. "You're in. Good job." The guy simply stared at the offered hand. Ugh, seriously, how socially inept of a guy did I find?

Grabbing the guy's hand, he shook it. "Wonderful to meet you." he said with a most charming smile.

"Wonderful to meet you too!" the guy finally said, returning the smile.

This guy right here was such a liar. God, he calls himself?

…Well, it wasn't like Yukine had any room to say anything. He lied on a daily basis. Not without a good cause, of course. Getting caught by the police and being sent to prison did not bode well with him, so, well, lying really worked well to cover his bases. Alibis, excuses, stuff like that. And who knew? Maybe this guy here wasn't that bad…

Though he was doubting how good of an idea having a roommate was. Especially when his kill tools were hidden in the small apartment.