4Title: The Road to Hell
Summary: Melisandre reflects on the time she cast Crucio and ponders the nature of her grandmother's warnings.
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The road to hell is paved with good intentions. At least, that's what her grandmother used to say. "You may think you're doing the right thing, but you're taking one step closer to ending up in Azkaban," Melisandre murmured, repeating her grandmother's favourite phrase.
She gazed up at the ceiling. For hours now, she had tried to sleep but her mind was alight with thoughts and they would not allow her to rest. There was probably a potion or spell that would ease her mind, but that involved seeking permission and explaining her reasons, and she didn't need anyone to know about her recent exploits adventuring in places she shouldn't be in.
Over and over again, she found herself back in the scriptorium with Sebastian and Ominis, reflecting on that terrible decision – to learn Crucio. At first, it had seemed like learning any other spell – a few simple hand movements to cast the spell and then some time to practice on a combat dummy under the watchful eye of a trusted figure. But this time was different. This wasn't any simple spell, and she wasn't in a room with a teacher. All she had was Sebastian, a fellow fifth year Slytherin like herself who had a knack for getting into trouble.
"Do you want to learn Crucio?"
Most people would've said no. That would've been the right decision to make. Instead, she nodded. "I'll learn. I mean, so what if it's considered dark magic, right? That doesn't mean we're bad people or anything." After all, it wasn't magic that made decisions – it was the people who carried the wands who decided what magic would be used for.
"I owed you a debt," Melisandre said aloud, recalling the incident in the restricted part in the library. Sebastian had taken the blame.
Melisandre shook her head. "You're not casting it this time. I'll do it." Maybe she was a fool. Maybe Sebastian was too. But casting the spell once didn't mean you were going to become some dark lord. They were using it for good intentions – to find the truth about her powers and help Anne.
He arched his brows. "Are you sure?" He seemed surprised.
She nodded. "I've made up my mind. I'll do it. I'll cast the spell on you." In a whisper, she added, "Forgive me, grandmother." Turning to Sebastian, she raised her wand, made the movements, and said, "Crucio!" Bolts of red lightning emerged from the tip of her wand.
"Agh!" Sebastian fell to his knees, face contorting from the pain, anguished cries filling the air. He writhed in pain. His cries would forever be implanted in her mind.
"Sebastian!" she called out. Maybe she had made a mistake – maybe Sebastian should've cast it instead.
"I'll be fine," he managed to grunt, climbing to his feet. "One moment of torture is nothing compared to what Anne endures daily."
She sat up her body covered in sweat. Her mind replayed the moment repeatedly – casting Crucio on Sebastian. Sure, he had agreed – one of them had to be on receiving end after all. It had brought them one step closer to solving this mystery with the ancient magic.
"And one step closer to going mad and ending up in prison," she murmured, echoing her grandmother's words. Swinging her legs over the side of the bed, she stood up and walked over to the full-length mirror. Her long dark brown curls fell down her back. Her hair was in a mess – it was all knotted and tangled. Had she been thrashing around in her sleep? "But it was just a one-time thing. I'm not going to do it again," she said aloud to her reflection. The reflection looked back at her and rolled her dark brown eyes as if to say, 'yeah right'. Great. Even her reflection disagreed.
Ominis had warned her – Sebastian was heading down a dark road and she was currently walking along the same path.
"But you just keep encouraging him," Ominis had said. "Always supporting his reckless ideas! Why? Do you not see where this road leads?"
"He wants to save his sister. Is that not a noble goal?"
Ominis threw up his hands. "It's dark magic. It doesn't matter what your intentions are."
"I have to tell him this is where it ends," she told her reflection. It was so much easier to sound confident in front of a mirror, but she knew she'd turn weak at the knees again before him. All he had to do was give her one of his pleading looks and talk about his sister's condition and she'd cave.
It was all so wrong. To think her earlier sins had simply been sneaking around the restricted part of the library using a disillusionment charm. That should've been a red flag that Sebastian was bad news and a ticket to heartbreak hotel. Was she wrong to support him? "Okay. It's simple. I just have to tell him I've found another way."
A lie. Just another one to add to a growing list of lies. How many more lies would she have to tell before she learned the truth of her powers? She headed down to the Common Room. As she walked down the spiral staircase, she overheard a few comments.
"Is the headmaster unwell?" Imelda's voice.
"Did you see the headmaster sprinting through the hall the other day? Never knew he could run so fast!"
Just another one of her crimes to add. Using Polyjuice potion to become the headmaster. All for noble reasons of course – to help uncover the truth about her powers. "Maybe I am going mad," she murmured.
Ominis was standing near a window, his back up against the wall. His mouth was pressed into a thin line as if he was irritated by something. "Melisandre," he called.
Knowing she couldn't avoid him forever, she wandered over. "Morning," she chirped.
He didn't even smile. "Have you talked to him?"
"Straight to business then."
"Don't play games with me."
She sighed. "No, I haven't had the chance."
His expression darkened. "You need to talk to him. Tell him to stop this madness."
"I'll try. In fact, I'll go find him now." She turned her back, preparing to leave.
Silence then, "Playing with dark magic… It doesn't end well." He grabbed her arm, his grip unrelenting. "I won't be able to consider him as a friend anymore. Or you." He released her.
She pulled away but didn't turn around to face him. "I said I will try." Fortunately, none of her fellow Slytherins seemed to even notice. People were still talking about the headmaster's odd antics.
"Will you try hard enough though?"
Now she turned around. He was testing her. Brows furrowed she said, "What's that supposed to mean?" she replied, keeping her voice steady. Best not to create a scene here in the Common Room.
Ominis folded his arms. "I might be the one that's blind, but even I can see it – there's something about you he likes."
"Because I'm the only one who believes in him."
"Then perhaps you'll both go down together." Disappointment. Like a parent scolding a child.
She ignored him. Jaw clenched, she stormed out of the room.
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I might turn this into a fully-fledged story of Melisandre's battle with dark magic and the moral decisions she must make all while dealing with school stuff (romance, friendships and all that fun teenage stuff)! Either that, or I might do a series of one shots around pivotal Sebastian and MC moments. I haven't written in long time, so this was a way to get the creative juices flowing again. Kudos or a drop a comment about what you'd like to see (full adventure or one shots). Thanks!