A rule of thumb for any of you out there who wake up to find yourself suddenly living in an anime: take stock before you panic.

First determine what anime you are in. This is the most important thing because quite frankly there are some anime where, no matter who you are or your role in it may be, you are screwed. I don't know about you but no amount of funny wires that let me run along buildings will make up for the world gone to hell and cannibal giants eating my loved ones (at least that's what I assume Attack on Titan is about, it might be about DC fans trying to get Teen Titans Go canceled for all I know). Now, maybe some of you really want to end up in one of those emo worlds where humanity is doomed and you know that half of the people you meet will be dead before it is done because you want to live out your Hunger Games fantasies... whatever floats your boat. Me? I openly admit I am lazy and would much rather have an easy time of it.

Now, if you are in an anime world that isn't one big giant ball of suck I then suggest determining if you are a main character or just one of those random bystanders that is in the background. It might sound all neat to be in the Yu-Gi-Oh! universe until you realize that you aren't going to be in the tournaments and instead will be having your soul ripped out by YamI Bakura and then Dartz and the Zorc. Rinse, repeat, cash the friggin' check. I know a lot of people who end up sucked into anime worlds end up with Stands or sailing with Luffy but that's only because everyone who DOESN'T hit the jackpot when it comes to entering a fictional world dies a painful death and doesn't get a chance to share their tale. Or at the very least it doesn't get good reviews.

Finally, check to see if you are yourself. Sometimes you get to keep your body, sometimes you end up as Ash Ketchem. Ketchum. Keechum? Whatever. My point is that matters too because it is going to make things both easier and harder. Yeah, real cool to suddenly be Tai leading the digidestined but then you realize that you lost all the muscle memory you used to have so your desire to punch that monkey radio host in the face is going to end VERY badly. Tai wasn't a runner is all I'm saying. I'm personally glad I was just younger when this all started for me.

But I'm getting slightly ahead of myself.

You need to think these things through before you panic. Because your "magical adventure" (this site needs a button to make clear one is being sarcastic) isn't going to be so awe-inspiring if you spend the entire time locked in a padded room while doctors decide if they should put the straight jacket on you before or after the enema.

Now, I can't claim that I followed these rules when I found myself sucked into my oh so wonderful odyssey. Yeah, I'd like to claim I was all aloof and shit because that would make me sound cool and a badass but I am going to be honest with you all because you guys deserve that... and frankly I figure laughing at me will get me more reviews.

(innocent smile)

My rude awakening started in the passenger seat of a flying car.

"Hey!" a young woman's voice called out, causing me to start awake, looking about rapidly as I tried to get my bearings. "You're going to want to get ready because we are almost there!" I frowned, looking about the front of the car we were in, which looked too complex for a normal vehicle but too simple for an airplane. I had the sneaking suspicion that some of the buttons and dials were just for show. Through the windshield all I saw was blue ocean… and a small speck of land in the distance. "So listen, I know my friends are going to seem all exciting and all that but don't forget that you are here to film me, okay?" She flashed me a charming smile that I had the feeling she spent hours every morning practicing in front of a mirror. "So make sure that drone of yours doesn't go wandering off."

"Right…" I said slowly, looking back to see a small blue egg-shaped drone hovering behind me, a pair of spindly arms that were utterly impractical but I just knew would be able to lift up a car sticking out of its sides and a little antenna on the top. In the front and center of it was some glass with a black 'eye' with a lilac 'pupil'. Very much the stereotypical 1980s design for a robot. "Am I good to check on… it?"

"Yeah, sure!" the woman, who I had quickly realized upon truly looking at her was Bulma Briefs from Dragon Ball, said with a grin. Judging by her outfit and age that meant we were at the very beginning of the saga.

'You're in Dragon Ball Z,' I thought to myself, wondering WHY I wasn't panicking more. I could tell this wasn't a dream, as too many of my senses were feeding my information for it to be so. Yet the fact that I was in a fictional work wasn't having me break down into sobs as I rocked back and forth in a corner. 'Maybe its just the way this world works… or whatever force dragged me kicking and screaming into this place.' I looked down at my hands, which weren't shaking in the slightest. Steady as a rock. I knew I should feel anxiety but it was like something had locked those worries away.

Bulma didn't notice my ponderings and just kept talking. "You don't need to be strapped in when I'm flying this baby!"

Right on cue a seagull suddenly appeared in front of us and Bulma let out a cry, jerking the steering wheel and causing the flying car to shudder and tremble as it dove down before righting itself.

"Watch where you are flying, you jerk!" Bulma roared, glaring backwards even though we were already nearly a mile past the avian.

Deciding not to say anything lest I get yelled at I undid my buckle and moved to the back of the… well, I could tell it was larger than a car so more like a flying van I supposed… and headed towards the drone that was hovering in the back.

"So… I'm hoping you can talk…"

"I can, sir," the drone said back with a polite, vaguely British accent. "far more than you can, and in a more dignified way."

"Awesome." I already knew I was going to love the little guy. "So let's pretend I have no idea what is going on."

"Act like you are an idiot. Understood."

"I… didn't word it like that."

"Act like you are a gigantic clod."

"Not helping," I grumbled.

"Act like you are the dumbest sack of meat on this entire planet-"

"I get it!" I snapped. "Now then… doing that… who am I? Who are you? And what are we doing here?"

The drone considered me for a moment. "You are Avo Kayos, documentarian. I am your camera drone, Isco. Together we have produced 6 highly acclaimed movies about famous figures in our world. After our last one, about Gen Veenson of the White Tail Brigade we were hired by Bulma Briefs to create a documentary about her life."

'That makes sense,' I thought to myself. 'Or at least as much sense as me waking up in the world of Dragon Ball.' I glanced at my reflection in Isco's mirrored surface and saw I basically looked the same though younger. Late 20s, most likely. But same blonde hair, same gray-blue eyes, same circle beard. Even my clothing was rather normal, with blue jeans and purple t-shirt with the words KAYOS FILMS printed on it. I wasn't some strange alien creature or a magical ball of chocolate or anything else that Dragon Ball could have thrown at me. Just a normal human being.

I blinked.

'Aw fuck I'm a normal human.'

"We're coming in for a landing!" Bulma called out and I shared a look with Isco before returning quickly to my seat. "So I went over everyone that was going to be here, right?"

"Son Goku, Krillin, Master Roshi," I said, ticking off the people I remembered arriving for the reunion.

"Right. But remember, I'm the star of this documentary! Goku might be some amazing martial artist but you better remember who is paying you to film all this!" She flashed me a dark look and I quickly nodded; I didn't think I was ever going to get used to anime women being able to bring the wrath of the gods upon people.

It took only a minute for Bulma to land and once she did she leapt out of the vehicle and onto the sands of Kame House, throwing out her hands and grinning… only for no one to appear.

"Those jerks!" she growled, balling her hands into fists. "They are supposed to come out here and greet me and tell me how wonderful I look…"

"Maybe they are letting you have a dramatic entrance," I suggested and at once Bulma perked up.

"Right!" she beamed. "That's perfect!" She hurried to the open door, calling out to Master Roshi and Krillin that she was there while Isco floated over to me.

"…that was an impressive lie, sir."

"Tell her the truth and she'll kill us both," I muttered through clamped together teeth.

"Understod. Wise suggestion."

"Kayos, come on in!" Bulma called out from Kame House and Isco and I moved to join her inside. Clearly she had been in the middle of a conversation when she'd noticed us lingering as when we entered she was telling the two men, "-with him. He's more interested in his fangirls than he is for me! Making no time for me at all! So Yamcha and I? We are DONE! This was his last chance… we're meeting each other after five years and he can't drag himself away from his adoring public? Well, they can give him all the love because he won't get any of mine!"

"Oh?" Master Roshi said, looking me up and down when he noticed me. "And is this your new boyfriend?"

"What?" Bulma said, turning to stare at me. "No, of course not! This is just Kayos."

"Thank you, Bulma, that was very kind to stomp on my worth as a man," I snarked.

"I didn't mean it like that!" Bulma exclaimed with a huff. "I know you're married to your job!" She turned back to her friends. "This is Kayos and Isco. I asked them to film a documentary."

"All about us?" Krillin said with a grin, stepping forward only for Bulma to push him away.

"All about ME," Bulma corrected. "They are going to document my life as the world's smartest woman, premiere inventor, and most eligible bachelorette!"

"And must humble girl on the planet," Krillin muttered only for Bulma to turn on him and begin to scream at him about how she was 'as humble as humble pie'.

"So, Bulma told you all about us, right?" Master Roshi asked at the two bickered. While there was a ton of heat to her words I could also tell that it came from a place of love.

"If you mean did she tell me to be glad I have a penis instead of a vagina then yes, she told me all about you." Roshi started at that while Bulma and Krillin laughed at the old man who said nothing to counter my claim, their earlier fight forgotten instantly. "So, what do you guys have planned for today?" I asked as I began to move around the room, taking on the role of 'documentarian' to get them talking. Isco slowly moved around, taking everything in.

Of course the question was meaningless. I already knew that whatever they had planned would get tossed into the garbage can the moment Raditz showed up.

'That bastard is going to cause a whole lot of problems… almost everything that came after can be tied back to him. I mean, the Androids aren't truly his fault but with King Cold and Frieza's DNA Cell wouldn't have been as much of a probably. Hell, without Vegeta's DNA…'

I frowned as Bulma and Krillin discussed what beach games they should play and if it was wise to even try with Goku participating.

'Except… without Namek and all that Goku and Piccolo would be so weak Gero himself probably could defeat him, meaning that we'd get History of Trunks… possibly without Trunks.' I mentally cursed myself, both for the fact that I was already thinking about changing things to try and protect more people and that I needed certain things to happen to prepare everyone for the threats to come. 'Hell, Buu is completely unrelated to Raditz so this entire world is fucked if Dobby or Dabby or whatever the fuck his name was returns to bring him back to life with Bobbity.'

It was utterly frustrating. Make a move to try and make things easier and run the risk of making things worse. But there was just as much danger in relying on things to remain the same only for the mere fact that I existed in the world to cause things to radically alter. Chaos Theory was in full force, with my tiny changes causing massive alterations.

"And after that there will be the barbeque," Krillin continued before looking at Bulma. "You… did remember to bring the food, right?" He paused. "And the barbeque?"

"I have a barbeque!" Roshi complained.

"Ya, if you call that rusted out trash can a barbeque!"

"Of course I brought the food. As if I could rely on you two to get it?" Bulma said. "If it were up to you to all we'd have is jerky and beer!"

"We'd also have some cake," Krillin protested.

Bulma scoffed at that. "Why do you always expect me to buy the food nowadays anyway?"

"Hey!" Krillin complained. "We haven't seen you in five years!"

"Because if you had seen me you'd have made me buy all the food!"

Roshi chimed in. "Well, you are far richer than us. I might have a nice place out here but it doesn't exactly make me a ton of cash. And if I tried to feed Goku I'd have to spend a month fishing!"

"I couldn't know," I said casually, "if you set up a few more little islands you could probably make a killing renting them out."

"Eh?" Roshi said, looking at me. "Make a few more islands?"

"Not that hard for someone of your skill," Isco commented. "Or, perhaps, it is. You could have lost your touch."

"Lost my touch!? What are ya gettin' on about!? I ain't lost nothing!"

"There is no reason to get upset," Isco said simply. "It happens to all men as they get older. Unable to stand tall and strong and proud. Rise to the occasion. Be solid. They… droop."

Roshi's face turned red with fury. "Why you no good tin plated-"

"I am not tin plated," Isco stated.

"Not helping," I muttered.

"…so," Krillin said slowly, looking at Bulma.

"Yes, I remember the food," she said, pulling out a case from her pocket. "Along with the barbeque grill. I had to keep them as capsules; like Roshi said if I tried to haul all of Goku's supply alone I'd have needed to bring a freighter!"

"I hope you have enough," Krillin said worriedly. "You know how he gets."

"Don't worry. So long as we don't tell him just HOW much food we brought we can tuck away enough for us to have plenty."

"Maybe distract him so you guys can eat first?" I suggested as Roshi continued to argue with Isco.

"Hey! That's a great idea!" Bulma snapped her fingers. "Now then, let's get some of the introductions out of the way that way we can have fun and not worry about needing to be pulled aside."

"Introductions?" Krillin asked.

"For the documentary. People need to know who everyone is. Oh Isco!" She waved at the drone. "Come over here please!"

"That's right, run ya sparkin' egg!" Roshi hollered.

"Thanks for saying please, at least," I whispered.

"Treat machines with respect, that's my motto," Bulma said and I grinned; oh, I could get along with her just fine! "We're going to film some introductions, okay?" Isco bobbed in what I assumed was a nod and Bulma opened her mouth before I raised my hand to stop her.

"Let me." I cleared my throat. "Introductions. Bulma." I pointed at her and she smiled.

"Well, we already did this once but hey, can't hurt to do it multiple times! Hi!" She waved. "I'm Bulma Briefs, genius inventor and heir to the Capsule Corporation! I don't mind getting my hands dirty but don't think that means I can't clean up all nice, as you can see!" She gestured at her outfit which just screamed '1980s Miami Vice'. Honestly I was ready for Huggy Bear to be the next threat to the world.

"Krillin," I said, pointing at the short fighter.

"Oh, hey?" Krillin said awkwardly. "Uh… what should I say?"

"Just a general introduction," I told him. "Like if I asked you to, in one sentence, describe who you were and your profession?"

"Ah, okay." Krillin blushed a little. "This is so weird though… feel like a movie star. Uh… I'm Krillin and I'm Goku and Bulma's friend… though I guess you guys haven't met Goku yet. Or maybe you have. I guess you could put these anywhere?" He shifted, utterly nervous. "Heh. Oh, I'm also Master Roshi's student! Or I was, you know. Not anymore… though he does teach me things still… I guess I'll always be his student? Anyway, I don't really have a day job at the moment as I mostly get by competing in tournaments but I guess I need to find something to do soon and… yeah, yeah that's it."

"…that was horrible," Bulma stated.

"Oh come on!" Krillin shouted. "I didn't spend all my time practicing it in a mirror like some people!"

"I did not!"

"Yeah, just keep lying!"

Roshi shoved the two away. "Hello ladies!" he crooned as he looked right at Isco. "I am Master Roshi, head of the Turtle School of Martial Arts. I enjoy long walks on the beach and moonlit dinners. I'm partial to blonds but-"

"THIS ISN'T A DATING VIDEO!" Bulma screamed right in Roshi's ear.

"Said the girl using it to get a new boyfriend!" Krillin teased.

"THAT'S DIFFERENT!"

Isco turned to me. "Who have you gotten us tangled up with?"

"Someone who is very rich," I told him. "Want a new body that can't be shattered?"

"…I retract my complaints and also my earlier comment about your intelligence, sir."

"Hey guys!" a familiar voice called out from the outside of Kame House.

"GOKU!" Krillin cried out and Isco and I found ourselves alone in Roshi's home as the three stampeded out to greet their friend. I took a far more casual pace, lingering behind them as they asked Goku about Gohan and reacted to him being his son.

'God… he's so young,' I thought to myself. The anime had never really been good at showing ages, save perhaps for Gohan. Unless it was a radical change most of the characters looked the same, agewise, save for Chichi who kept getting the low end of the stick when it came to aging gracefully. By the time of Super she had looked more like Goku's mom than his wife while Bulma hadn't hardly aged at all (and retcons about the Dragon Balls didn't count). Goku in the anime had always been seen as a bit of a manchild by the audience due to his attitude but seeing him there in the flesh, not paper and ink, I could see just how little he had lived in the world. He was in his mid twenties and looked every inch of it and I knew that in a year the weight of the galaxy would be placed on his shoulders.

It was… so unfair.

'Especially when you see how happy he is right now.' I watched as Goku knelt down to talk to Gohan, whom he'd settled down on the beach so he could go play with Turtle. 'Everyone thinks all Goku cares about is fighting and yeah that is a passion of his but… he loves being a dad so much.' I wiggled my jaw back and forth in frustration. 'And that's going to be taken from him. By threats, by the need to protect his family, and then the belief that he is the cause of all this. Damn it all…'

"Hey!" Goku suddenly called out, breaking me out of my thoughts. "Who is that? You get a new student, Master Roshi?"

"Him?" the old man said, glancing at me before snickering. "Come now Goku, I might be the best teacher in the world… along with being strong… and handsome… and a sex machine…"

"Certainly not humble," I commented.

Isco chimed in, "He is also a skilled liar. I have seen his dating profile."

"…but even I can't do much with someone like him!" He waved at me. "That would be like trying to make Bulma a fighter!"

"Hey, be nice to Kayos," Bulma declared. "There is more to- WHAT DO YOU MEAN MAKE BULMA A FIGHTER!?" She grabbed Roshi's ear and began to twist it hard, causing the old man to screech in pain while he flailed his arms about wildly.

"Its okay, Bulma!" I quickly assured her, not wanting to see what happened if she twisted his lobe just a bit more.

Goku though looked at me carefully. "I don't know, Master Roshi. I'm sure if… uh…"

"Kayos," I repeated.

"Kayos put in the time he could become a decent fighter! I bet he could do all sorts of cool things if given the chance!"

"Thanks," I said with a slight smile. "Though I know my strengths are in other areas… and I can win other ways."

"Oh yeah?" Krillin challenged but in a friendly way, it clear he wasn't picking on me but was curious and a bit charged up. "And how would you defeat me or Goku or Roshi?"

"Based on what Bulma told me?" I asked. "Poison."

"…what?" Goku said, eyes going wide. Roshi had stopped fighting with Bulma and Krillin was looking a bit green around the gills at that.

"Yeah," I said with a shrug. "Slip a few drops into a drink and you'd be done. Wouldn't even need to make it kill you guys." I smirked. "Can't fight if you are crapping out your intestines."

Krillin clearly was thinking about that, now turning purple along with green, while Goku began to laugh, rubbing the back of his head. "Heh! I guess that would work pretty well! Though I do have an iron stomach! Might not work on me!"

"Are you laughing about him trying to poison you!?" Krillin exclaimed.

"He said he could, not that he would!" he looked to me. "You aren't, are you?"

"It would upset your kid so no," I said with a chuckle before crouching down when Gohan realized I was talking about him. "Hey bud," I said gently, trying to be as calm and peaceful-looking as possible. Even then though Gohan let out a tiny whimper and ran to hide behind his fahter's leg.

"Skittish little thing," Roshi stated. "Nothing at all like you, Goku!"

"Aw, give him time!" Goku declared, picking Gohan up and giving him a cuddle. "He'll warm up to you guys."

"Maybe not the food poisoner," Krillin said darkly, giving me a side-eye.

"Should I be annoyed that you didn't suggest using me?" Isco stated. "It would be rather easy for me to eliminate the pain receptacles."

"Are you calling them pain receptacles or suggesting that's what you'd remove from them?"

"Yes."

"Hey, is that the Four Star Dragon Ball?" Bulma asked, looking at the orange orb that topped Gohan's hat.

Goku grinned at that, Gohan reaching up to adjust his hat. "Yeah. I know I named Gohan after him but I like to remember Grandpa however I can and seeing the Dragon Ball always does that."

Bulma smiled fondly. "I remember how we spent so much time hunting these things down. So odd we haven't needed to in five years."

"Well I suppose that we don't need to make a wi-" Goku was cut off when Bulma covered his mouth with her hand, looking at me and letting out a weak and rather fake laugh.

"Weekend of it! Make a weekend of it! Right Goku?"

"Huh?" Goku said, words muffled, before he remembered that I wasn't supposed to know about the Dragon Balls. Bulma probably figured it would be better for them to remain a secret, something I didn't blame her for in the slightest. It was dangerous enough that some people knew about them… the more that did the greater the threat.

'Wonder how long it will take before they reveal them to me?' I wondered. 'If I'm around them enough because of this documentary I suppose-'

Goku suddenly froze, looking towards the ocean, and I knew at once what was happening.

"Roshi, get Gohan inside," I snapped.

"What are ya on about?" Roshi said. "I-" he suddenly snapped his head in the same direction that Goku was looking and I knew he'd sensed Raditz' approach as well. "Right. Come on kiddo, let's get tucked inside." He grabbed Gohan from his father, the little boy letting out whimpering cries and reaching for his dad but Roshi kept a tight hold on him and raced back into Kame House.

"Goku, what is going on?" Bulma asked.

"Something is coming… I think it might be Piccolo."

"Piccolo!?" Krillin cried out, suddenly VERY nervous. "Are… are you sure?"

"Yeah…" Goku said and by that point a flying body could be seen rushing towards us. "Bulma, Kayos, stay back okay? Krillin and I will handle this."

"Don't have to tell me twice!" Bulma declared, hurrying to hide in Kame House. However before I could make a move Raditz landed, looking at us with an air of condescending arrogance. "Whoa. Unless Piccolo decided to get a makeover…"

"Hmmmpf," Raditz said in annoyance, looking us all over, "and I thought some of the shitholes I've been to were bad but this planet might be the worst." He walked over to one of the bushes, examining it for a moment before letting out another huff. "Seriously, Kakarot, how have you not managed to bring this planet to heel? The citizens are utterly pathetic! They wouldn't even make decent target practice."

Goku… blinked at that. "Uh… are you talking to me?" He pointed to himself, shoulders slightly slouched and eyes wide.

Raditz spun around and glared at the orange gi-wearing man. "Am I… of course I'm talking to you! Who else would I be addressing? These earthlings? The robot?" He gestured at Isco. "As if I could be bothered to deal with such powerless filth! What is the matter with you, anyway?"

"Well, it's just… you keep calling me Kakarot. My name's Goku."

"Goku?" Raditz rolled the name along his tongue. "Goku." He smirked. "That's a pathetic name. Not suited for a Saiyan, even one as weak as you, brother. Why would you allow yourself to be called that?"

"Well, that's what my grandpa named me. He never told me I had another name."

"You only have one name. Kakarot. The name given to you by your people."

"You mean the Saiyans?" Goku asked. When Raditz nodded he added, "What's a Saiyan?"

"You don't know what a Saiyan is?!" Raditz roared.

"THAT'S what you focus on!?" Bulma cried out. "He just said he's your brother!"

"So what?" Goku said, looking back at her in confusion.

"Goku," I said slowly, "do you know what a 'brother' is?" It might have seemed like a dumb thing to ask but he had spent much of his life living alone in the woods. I had vague memories of Goku having no idea what a 'woman' was and thinking marriage was a food. It was a legit concern.

"Sure!" Goku exclaimed though I wasn't quite sure if he was telling the truth or not. "I just don't see what the big deal is! I mean, okay, maybe we had the same mom and dad-" He suddenly smiled, scratching his head, "Huh, I have a mom and dad! I never thought about."

"Of course you have a mom and dad!" Bulma roared. "Everyone has a mom and dad!"

"Not Piccolo," I chimed in.

"See, Kayos gets it!" Goku said with a laugh. "A mom and dad. I mean I had Grandpa Gohan and that was enough for me so I never really thought about it. I wouldn't mind meeting them if they are still around… though if they are anything like this guy I'm not sure if I'd want to." He gave a small shrug. "But being my brother? I mean it's good to know about but, well, Krillin is more of my brother than some random stranger! So why would him saying he's my brother change anything?"

"Wait… really?" Krillin said in surprise, the tension leaving his body. "You… think of my as your brother?"

"Well… yeah!" Goku perked up even more, as if saying those words caused them to solidify into something concrete and real. "Yeah! I like that! You're my brother, Krillin!" He looked into Kame House, tilting his head and tapping his chin. "And Bulma really should be my sister, now that I think about it. No offense Krillin but I've known her longer. She's one of my oldest friends so it makes sense she be my sister."

"Oh… oh Goku!" Bulma said, waving her hands in front of her face, blinking rapidly.

"Huh," Goku said, now really thinking things over. "I guess that makes Master Roshi like my… sunglasses wearing uncle. And as for Tien and Yamcha and Chiaotzu and Yaj-"

Raditz suddenly grabbed him by the arm and spun him around before moving to punch him in the stomach. Goku though managed to just twist away from the blow, only for Raditz to move to strike him in the face. Once more Goku dodged the attack and moved to strike his brother but Raditz easily caught his fist and smirked, twisting Goku's wrist before he kicked him hard, sending him flying back. Goku popped up quickly though and fell into a defensive stance, all his earlier befuddlement gone in the face of that attack. Krillin mimicked him while Isco zipped over to me, deciding to use me as a shield.

"Do not ignore me, Kakarot!" Raditz demanded. "You have a lot to answer for! This planet should have been left a without a speck of life on it and instead I find you standing around chatting away with these low-level cretins! Calling them family over ME! You should be helping me slaughter them all, not chatting away about how they are your family! I am your family and you have a duty to the Saiyan race!"

Goku merely narrowed his eyes at that. "I don't know who you are and why you think you can just show up and begin screaming at me but I'm not going t put up with it!"

"You truly have no idea, do you?" the other Saiyan said before letting out a laugh. "You don't, do you! There is not even a single inkling in that head of yours who you are, what you are." Raditz cackled at that. "Perhaps you can be forgiven for your failure, little brother, as well as your attitude… so long as you have a decent enough excuse for the loss of your memories." He jabbed a finger at Goku. "You are a member of the Saiyan Race, the greatest warriors in all the universe. With the destruction of our home, the Planet Vegeta, only four of us remain but even then we remain some of the most feared beings in all the Galaxy. I came here to seek out your help, for there is a planet that needs to be wiped clean of all life that is proving bothersome. Yet you can't even get this world cleared out of the filth that calls it home?" He frowned. "Instead you actually LIVE among them? Where is your pride, Kakarot!?"

"I have plenty of pride," Goku told him, eyes narrowed in determination. "It's that pride that keeps me from just mindlessly destroying everything just because I could. Anyone can destroy… it takes a powerful person to understand their power and not let it control them. And I don't like you talking that way about my friends… no. Talking about my FAMILY that way. So unless you want to apologize then I'm going to MAKE you."

That made the Saiyan Warrior laugh. "Finally! I was afraid being sent to this pathetic planet had made you utterly weak!" He tensed, readying for battle. "I will make sure you understand your place. You will fall in line and then you will help me ensure that every pathetic being on this planet knows their doom came to them at the hands of Raditz! So prepare yourself because that little scuffle we just had wasn't even a warmup for me!"

"Goku?" I called out before the two could launch themselves at each other. "Maybe you want to move this someplace you can stretch your legs?" I looked back towards Kame House, thankful that Roshi had managed to keep Gohan inside and away from Raditz's line of sight. "You know, allow you to go all out. The island isn't really suited for a true brawl."

"Right!" Goku said, rising in the air. "Come on Raditz… you want a fight? I know where were to go to have one. There is a grass plain 60 miles from here… we can fight there."

"Lead on, brother, lead on. I'll enjoy putting you in your place!" He looked right back at me. "Enjoy this brief reprieve, human. Because when we return my brother will get to watch as I destroy you all!"

With that Goku and Raditz rocketed off, leaving us behind.

"Krillin, can you find your friends and get them to where Goku is going?" I asked. "I have a feeling he's going to need all the help he can get."

"Yeah, I think you're right!" Krillin declared. "I know Goku is strong but what I sensed from that Raditz guy…" He shook his head and I completely got it; even being a human with a power level most likely in the single digits I had felt Raditz's strength. It was the same ancient instinct that had allowed my primal ancestors know there was a predator nearby. "Hopefully Tien and Yamcha are close enough by…" He took off without saying another word, leaving the rest of us behind without a second glance. Not that I blamed him, all things considered.

"Do you think that strange man could be Goku's brother?" Bulma asked as Roshi came out, holding a sniffling Gohan's hand. The boy rubbed his nose with his sleeve, worrying his lip with his teeth. "I mean… he can't, right?"

"Its possible," Roshi stated. "Goku's grandpa stated that he found Goku in a strange pod-like device. He wasn't sure what it was but perhaps it came from wherever that strange warrior came from. I assumed that it was just an egg and that Goku was from a weird race of monkey people… but perhaps he truly is an alien."

"Does it matter, though?" I asked.

"Of course it doesn't!" Bulma yelled at me and I quickly threw up my hands to defend myself. "Sorry," she said, instantly deflated. "I get it… just asking questions. That's what I paid you to do. Its just-"

"You're worried, I get that."

"Daddy?" Gohan whimpered. "Where did my daddy go?" He looked about rapidly, tears gathering in his eyes.

"Oh… oh sweetie," Bulma knelt down so she could look Gohan in the eye. "He had to go take care of that bad man but he'll be back soon, I promise. Until then you are safe with us."

"He… he said… you were his sister?" Gohan frowned, mulling over that new word. "What does that mean?"

"It means she's your aunt," I chimed in. "They look after kids if their mom and dad are busy."

"Aunt?" the little boy said, staring at Bulma.

"Yeah!" she declared, perking up. "I'm Aunt Bulma! And me and Uncle Roshi are going to make sure you are safe until your dad returns."

As Bulma comforted Gohan I walked over to Roshi, Isco following after. "Goku is in trouble, isn't he?" I whispered, low enough that Gohan couldn't hear. "I can't do a tenth of what Bulma says you guys can do but Raditz…"

"Yes," Roshi said softly, all his earlier guffing and joking gone in the face of this new threat. "Raditz… he is beyond anything Goku has ever faced. While it is impressive that Goku has remained as strong as he has, after getting married and having a son, he hasn't grown in strength like he did back when he was fully dedicated to his training. He has leveled off and I am worried that will make him unable to overcome Raditz. And what he is after…" The old man gripped his walking stick. "With Piccolo he wanted to take over the world. Raditz just wants to destroy it!"

"I suppose," Isco stated, "that it is too much to hope that much like his hair Raditz was embellishing his abilities to compensate for something?"

"Heh," Roshi laughed but it was weak and forced. "We can only hope…"

I frowned as I looked at the ocean. 'The smart thing would be to stay here and hope that things work out like they did last time. Maybe even better, if Krillin is with Goku. They could meet up with Piccolo and convince him to fight with them…' I glanced over at Gohan and Bulma and set my jaw. 'Or things could get far worse.'

A curse flew past my lips before I was moving towards Bulma's ship.

"Kayos?" she called out, carrying Gohan with her. "What are you doing?"

"Helping," I said, shaking my head. "Lord knows I have no idea WHAT I'll be able to do but I have to try."

"You can't fight Raditz!" Roshi cried out in a panic. "You'd be slaughtered!"

"Yeah," I muttered because I'd found myself in Dragon Ball Z as a normal human. No special moves. No magic. Nothing.

Just my brains.

"But… I have some theories," I said as I began to puzzle over what I could do to help. Ideas began to race through my head, growing like acorns, taking roots so that, hopefully, when I did end up at the battle field, I would have a mighty oak in their place.

"Well don't take the car!" Bulma protested. "I just got it waxed. Here!" She ran over to the side and pulled out a capsule box, selecting one and clicking it to allow for a flying motorcycle-like vehicle to appear, complete with a helmet.

"Thanks," I said as I grabbed the helmet and slipped it on. I looked over at Bulma and another thought struck me. "Can I have some capsules? Doesn't matter what you give me…"

"Yeah, that might be a good idea. Do you know anything about healing?"

"I do." It was sports medicine but it was better than anything.

"Then take this," she said, handing me one small traveling case of capsules. "And these two." She passed me another two cases which I secured to the bike. "One has food, which Goku is going to want after his fight. The other… well, I'm not for sure-"

"Hopefully I won't need them but if I do… well, anything is better than nothing," I said as I hopped onto the bike . "Isco, staying here or coming?"

"I am out of a job if you die, sir," Isco said, using his arms to lock himself onto the bike.

"Then let's go."

"Kayos!" Bulma called out. "…be careful."

I gave a nod, knowing I was about to do anything BUT.

And with that we rose in the air, Bulma and Roshi waving goodbye before I rocketed off towards the dumbest thing I'd ever done.

~MC~MC~MC~

Author's Notes: And welcome to Chaos Theory Z!

A few Q and A stuff to cover.

1) Is this connected to Chaos Effect?

Yes, in that Kayos is another 'Chaos' in the Chaosverse. Another variant who was pulled into an anime world. But he is not Edwin Chaos.

2) Wait, didn't you do an omake where the Chaos had a different name and stole the dragon balls?

Yes! But this is NOT that story. That is a Chaos who entered the world of Dragon Ball… Avo Kayos ended up in Dragon Ball Z and that changed things.

3) What is Kayos' power level?

Slightly higher than an average human so I'd say he's around 15 to 20. The farmer who had a power level of 5 was short and fat while Kayos is in the prime of his life and rather fit. He's a bit stronger than Bulma because I don't think, over the last 5 years, she's done much working out (Bulma keeps her figure because of good genetics) while Kayos does cardio every day and some minor weight lifting. Mr. Satan could destroy him in a fight but he isn't a wet noodle.

4) What is up with the names?

Ah, well I HAD to do the pun names for the characters I created and decided that anyone connected with Kayos will have variations of 'Chaos' and synonyms of that word as the basis for their names. If people can't guess I'll reveal them next chapter.

5) Are you going to reference DBZA?

No. Just like how I only referenced YGOA once in Chaos Effect, I'm not going to have Kayos making references to Ghost Nappa. It would be just ripping them off.

6) When is the next update?

I will be adding this story to the rotation, if people show interest, and try for a 2 week release date, similar to Chaos Effect, The Force Is Not A Quirk, and A Shield of Man

7) Will this Chaos appear in Chaos Effect/Will There Be a Crossover?

Stay tuned!