16Late April Fools 2, Electric Boogaloo
Chapter 1: A Red Sword (or is it a one-shot?)
Beta: Sir Godot
Cover: N/A
Frustration.
No matter how many documents he filed through, it seemed like his efforts were only punished. File after file, and folder after folder, nothing seemed to make sense. Rather, it only seemed to worsen his confusion from within the confines of his office.
"And this… plan," the words came out generously. "You are certain that this is the best course of action?"
"Of course," a slight smirk wormed its way on its owner's face. "Though, if you have any complaints, I could always find a way to let you have a more… personal stake in it. Perhaps even place you in it."
"That won't be necessary… Lord Zelretch," Waver Velvet muttered.
He was an old man with a stern, yet devilish, grin that wore a traditional Victorian garb with a short mantle around his shoulder. Normally, Waver would've offered a chair, but the circumstances didn't give him the opportunity, and as such, the elder simply stood tall and proud with his walking cane at his side.
This man was Zelretch, the Wizard Marshal, and holder of the Second True Magic. Any magus worth their salt knew that when a Magician spoke, they would need to heed it, for better or for worse. If he offended the Wizard Marshal at any point, especially if the rumors about how the Wizard Marshall obtained his supposed immortality, death would be a blissful escape… if it was even plausible in the first place.
Then again, they were mere rumors. If Zelretch truly was a Dead Apostle, then the Clocktower wouldn't stand idly by, particularly the Vice-Director. In fact, she'd be the first one to lead the crusade whether they'd be successful or not.
"Then why bother asking in the first place, Lord El-Melloi II?" The Magician asked with a raised brow. "Or perhaps you are worried about your future if something happens to your master?"
To call Reines his master was both demeaning and aggravatingly accurate.
"No, I was only concerned about the methodology," Waver admitted. "I can't see the integrity of it all. This haphazard lunacy… would it not cause an even greater disaster than the Fourth War?"
"As if there was any integrity left in it in the first place," he paused. "Or at all for that matter. You would know best, wouldn't you? Mister `Winner of the Fourth`?"
"I didn't win anything," Waver frowned deeply, but it changed little for what was to come next. "More importantly, why these three magi in particular? Do they meet some specific requirements?"
"Indeed," Zelretch smiled at finally being able to progress the conversation. "The Edelfelt, El-Melloi, and Tohsaka heirs are uniquely suited to the task, being compatible with specific Heroic Spirits to the point of becoming suitable vessels, with one of them more so than the others."
"They are!?" His eyes widened. "I… with all due respect, I find that rather hard to believe…"
Reines being compatible with a Heroic Spirit? That Reines?
"I suppose you would," he shrugged. "But no worries. If they do not prove themselves worthy, then I will simply find others. There are a surprising number of candidates for the role in this era."
That didn't bode well… hang on.
"Did you indirectly imply that I am capable of hosting a Heroic Spirit when you asked for my participation?"
"Yes. Interested?"
Waver considered for a brief moment before shaking his head.
"No, forget I said anything…" The gleam in Zelretch's eyes said that he wasn't done with that particular offer, unfortunately. "More importantly, are you sure that these three are enough? From these documents, they are all individually talented magi, but together? I doubt that teamwork and cohesion could even exist between them."
Especially between the Tohsaka and Edelfelt heiresses.
"I trust your master to keep the others in line," Zelretch shrugged. "And should they fail, then, as I said before, there are other candidates. Surely you can think of one other?"
A hooded figure came to mind before he quashed that thought.
"... Fine," Waver sighed. "I'll approach Reines and see what she thinks about it. That is why you approached me in the first place, isn't it? To go through the proper channels?"
"Yes, and now that I have your permission, I'll start right away."
"Pardon?"
Zelretch raised his cane and slammed it into the wooden floor of his office. At first, he worried that it would shatter his home and everything he had worked for, but from it came three glints of light. They coalesced into three individual watch-like forms before shooting out of his open window with breakneck speed, fading into seeming nothingness.
From that brief glance, they seemed extremely unwieldy.
"You do not have to worry about them being seen," Zelretch smiled. "They cannot be seen unless they want to be."
"They?"
"Did I not tell you that the candidates were picked for a reason?"
Waver's eyes widened.
"Those are–!"
"Indeed. Or rather, soon to be," he smiled with self-satisfaction. "You need not explain to your master. It will all be explained to them when they meet."
"... I suppose," Waver muttered, but frowned when he noticed he was alone in the room once more. "... Terrific. It looks like I'll have to be the one to deliver the news to Lady Bartholomeloi…"
He sighed extra deeply this time.
Somehow, the Fifth Holy Grail War being replaced was more of a pain than the alternative of it happening ten years earlier.
A burning hellscape.
Endless fire, fueled seemingly by the crying screams of all those around him.
He couldn't breathe. He had to run away, but his body was too weak to carry him forward. Obelisks of fallen skyscrapers littered the landscape. It was almost beautiful in a cynical sense, but it offered him no reprieve. The black ash clouds took any hint of joy and relief.
He had to keep moving.
Ignore them, he whispered to himself. Focus on staying alive. If you help them, you'll only end up dying yourself. It wasn't worth the effort– not worth his life.
But did his life have any worth at all–?
A sudden jolt, followed by the sensation of his body falling, only to be safe on the concrete floor without a hint of pain caught him entirely unaware.
A short second later, Emiya Shirou let out a sigh of relief.
"That dream again…" he muttered. "I need to stop sleeping in the shed."
All around him lay broken tools, shattered rocks, and strangely stiff wraps of steel sheet. It was nonsensical, yet they were all the result of his hard work and training… or rather, what little he managed to accomplish.
"I'll try again later," he shrugged before getting up on his feet. "Sakura should be here any minute. I need to prepare breakfast."
He sniffed and frowned.
"And maybe a shower."
A couple of minutes later, Shirou found himself hard at work once more. No longer in his shed, he let the knife in his grasp glide across the fish in front of him. He had deboned and marinated it last night in preparation for the upcoming day.
The entrance ceremony for the first day of his second year at Homuraha Academy.
He had promised to go with Sakura, and he wasn't one to go back on his word, but he was starting to worry when she wasn't showing up at all. He had even given her his spare key in case he wasn't awake. A short second later, he felt his flip phone vibrate in his back pocket.
"Sorry Senpai, I'll be unable to walk with you to school today. Something came up…?" Shirou muttered. "Well, that's a shame. Looks like I'll need to prepare the bentos myself."
He paused, then sighed.
"Why am I talking to myself?"
Was he that lonely without Sakura in the morning to keep him company? Hell, even Fuji-nee wasn't here, but he already knew that she'd be too preoccupied with the entrance ceremony to drop by.
Oh well, it'd fix itself tomorrow. No reason to stress over it.
A few more minutes and Shirou found himself en route to Homurahara. The walk was taking a while, but without Fuji-nee in the morning to hold him up, he ended up making good time.
He paused as the strangest thing happened.
"Is that a limousine?" he blinked. "That's new."
"I'll say," a voice from behind commented. Shirou didn't need to turn around to recognize the smarmy tone. "A good morning to you, Emiya,"
"Shinji," Shirou sighed. "I didn't take you for an early bird."
"Grandfather forced me out of the house in a hurry," he shrugged. Though, he did shiver a little for some reason. "As fellow Archery club members, we should set an example for the prospective first years!"
"You mean the first-year girls, don't you?"
"Clever as always, Emiya," he smiled. "Don't worry, I'll leave a few for you. It's what friends do, right?"
Something was off with how he said it, but Shirou chalked it up to his imagination. "Whatever you say, but this is actually good timing," he said. "Could you tell Mitsuzuri that I'm leaving the club? I have some things to do for Issei so I can't tell her myself."
"Sure sure, that's what friends do– wait what?" Shinji paused in his step. "You're serious? You? The club ace?"
"Yeah," Shirou smiled in apology. "I don't see the point in attending anymore."
"What about nationals!?" Shinji practically screamed. "Do you realize how hard it is for your average Joe to even get to your level!? You don't even need to try to hit the damn bullseye! Don't you know how much recognition you can get from all of that!?"
Shirou took a small step away, surprised at the intensity coming from his usually lackadaisical friend, before frowning. "I didn't join the club for any of that. I wanted to learn more about the mentality, the idea of emptying your mind of irrelevant thoughts. Also, I don't think they score you based on how well you can hit a bullseye."
Kyudou just wasn't that type of sport. Even if you had missed a shot, what mattered was the process and how you, as a person, walked out from it. Focusing on winning and hitting the target perfectly every time wasn't the point, even if Shirou felt that he could do so pretty easily.
"Seriously…?" Shinji muttered. "The one time you could shine and be more than just a fake janitor, and you just… I really can't deal with you."
His disbelief was met with a shrug.
There just wasn't anything left for him to learn there anymore.
"Mitsuzuri isn't going to like this…" Shinji sighed. "And she won't even believe me. Seriously, be prepared for a rough day. She's going to hound you for the rest of the week. Maybe even a month if you're unlucky."
"Which I always am."
"Quick on the uptake," Shinji muttered. "Now if only you had some ego to back it up."
Shirou simply rolled his eyes.
"Excuse me? Might I ask for assistance?"
Shirou and Shinji paused as someone stepped up from behind them.
Blond.
The first thing that entered Shirou's mind was the fact that she was a blond foreigner. That wasn't a typical sight in Homurahara, which was ironic considering Shirou's hair color made him look a bit like a foreigner as well.
The number of teachers that'd give him detention for seemingly dyeing his hair was almost innumerable. He was lucky that the teachers at Homurahara, namely Fuji-nee, let any of the newer staff know about him beforehand. Oh, and the Matou siblings. That blueish violet hair was natural on them.
Oh shoot, he was getting sidetracked.
"Greetings," the blond foreigner smiled diplomatically. "I am aware that I am supposed to find this `faculty` office, but I am unaware of its location. Would you be so kind as to point me in the right direction?"
"Are you a transfer student?" Shinji asked with a raised brow. However, it quickly became a sly smile. "The name's Matou Shinji. I'm more than willing to guide you there myself."
"Matou?" She muttered before frowning in turn. Apparently not as sly as he thought. "Perhaps this other gentleman can do so instead?"
Shirou blinked.
"Me?"
"Him!?"
"Indeed," she smiled politely. "I apologize for the miscommunication, but I originally intended this fellow to guide me. Sir Matou seems… like a busy person."
Weird. It sounded like a lie, but Shirou couldn't figure out why. Maybe she just didn't like Shinji? But why? She only seemed to be wary after hearing his name.
Maybe she knew him from his family? He knew that the Matou family was old, rivaling that of Fuyuki itself in age, but did it have a reputation outside of Fuyuki? He'd have to ask Sakura later.
"Sure," Shirou agreed and smiled apologetically at Shinji, who just looked on in indignant shock. "It'd probably be best if you hurry to the clubroom before class starts. Mitsuzuri should be there already."
"... Fine," Shinji just sighed in exasperated frustration and went on his merry way. "I'll be grilling you about this later, Emiya!"
A moment of silence passed before the blond foreigner huffed.
"Well, he seemed like a pleasant fellow." Somehow Shirou could tell she wasn't honest there. "Emeeyah Sherou, was it?"
"Emiya Shirou," he corrected. "And don't worry about Shinji. That's just how he is."
"I see…"
"In any case," Shirou turned and entered the school, only looking back to make sure she was behind him. "Let's go. The faculty is on the way to where I'm going so it shouldn't take long."
"And that is?"
"Student council room," he answered. "I'm friends with the current secretary. I think he has plans to become the president once the elections come around."
"You have students run for the presidency role in schools?" She blinked. "I wasn't aware democracy ran rampant even in a scholastic environment."
"It's something every school does though…?" He raised a brow. "Did they not have student councils where you're from?"
"I was home-schooled until recently, so I will admit that perhaps you are right in that every school has a council of sorts," she replied. "Attending a school here is… a new experience. Though, I have yet to ascertain whether that is a good thing or a bad thing."
"Well, I hope you have a good experience then," he smiled. "Homurahara isn't really all that special though. The only thing we've got going for us to help us stand out is the kyudou and kendo club."
"I see…" she muttered. "And those are?"
Shirou smiled as he buckled himself in for a longer explanation.
The school period had passed, the orientation for the first years had gone swimmingly, and the students had been introduced to their new homeroom teachers. It all went by as quickly as lightning, perhaps even more so as her mind was preoccupied with more important matters.
The roof was the same as she remembered.
Normally, standing right beside the green fencing would've immediately drawn the attention of the guard standing by the gate below, as it was within direct line of sight, but Tohsaka Rin wasn't an amateur. She had prepared a bounded field atop the school the moment she had arrived back in Fuyuki.
As for why she had prepared one, it was the best place to overlook the school in case of emergencies. It was also a place that wouldn't have any students frequenting it, which allowed her to hold meetings with her `teammates` whenever she pleased.
She mentally fumed at the prospect of working with that she-gorilla of all things, but her family was indebted to the Wizard Marshal for all that he had done for them. Favor from a Magician of all things was coveted and afforded their family a great many things. However, at the same time, if she lost that favor, her family would be ridiculed until the end of time.
Truth be told, she didn't know what to think when she had been called by him and informed about the situation concerning the Holy Grail. It frustrated her to know that her family played a part in creating it, yet it would only result in tragedy… how on earth was she supposed to fulfill the Tohsaka family's greatest ambition?
No, that path wasn't closed off yet. If she earned more of the Wizard Marshal's favor, then perhaps being his apprentice wasn't off the table. In fact, it would be much better than winning some blasted cup.
Rin ran her fingers around the strangely oversized wristwatch on her forearm.
She couldn't afford to fail, even if what was asked of her was… not what she had expected.
"As expected, this place is very rundown is it not?" An aggravating voice called from behind her. "Then again, such a place is fitting for one such as yourself, Miss Tohsaka."
Her brow twitched.
Ignoring her was the wisest course of action… yet somehow that she-gorilla made it ten times harder to do so!
"You say that, yet you seemed very much at home getting along with the people of this `rundown` establishment."
"Well, the people are hardly at fault for being born in such a place," the Edelfelt smirked from behind her. "I'm very much capable of acknowledging the privilege of my birth, unlike you."
Her brow twitched again.
"Ladies, shall we focus on our task at hand? My dear brother is counting on us."
"Ah, lady Archisorte," Luvia greeted. "It is a pleasure to see that you've made it. Have you gotten acquainted with your classmates?"
"Only acquainted," Reines smiled as Tohsaka turned to face them, noting that the two of them were still wearing the Homurahara Academy uniform. "I have yet to find a use for them, after all. There was one interesting classmate. However, I doubt she even noticed my status as a magus. Lady Tohsaka would know of her, correct?"
Rin's eyes narrowed.
"Ah, of course, how could I forget," Luvia frowned. "The Matou family have certainly declined, haven't they? I met one of their progeny earlier today. What a disappointment. I don't even think he qualifies as a magus."
"Then the one I met must've been his little sister," Reines smiled. Rin's stomach twisted. "Equally disappointing, that one."
"Let us move on to more relevant topics," Rin frowned. Though, she had to keep in mind that she was a Tohsaka before she was Rin. "The first summoning, I trust you both have noticed that it will be soon?"
"And in this school of all places," Reines nodded. "Luckily, I doubt there'll be any students lingering after dark. We should be able to deal with it quietly… though our odds frankly aren't that great."
"Have either of you gotten the Mystic Code to work?" Luvia rubbed the watch on her wrist. "There are strange dials on it, yet I know not how to activate it. Surely the Wizard Marshal explained it to you, Miss Tohsaka?"
"Unfortunately not," Tohsaka frowned. "Though, I was told that the Mystic Codes themselves would be able to tell us when the time is right."
"This is such a roundabout way of doing things…" Luvia almost snarled. "Perhaps the rumors about the Wizard Marshal's senility have some merit?"
Perhaps, but Tohsaka wasn't going to be badmouthing her potential future mentor, not when he could be listening in on them.
"At the very least, he allowed us our other Mystic Codes," Reines smiled as a slime made of mercury flowed out from beneath her uniform. "Against our potential quarry, I am unsure whether it would amount to much, but it affords some mental comfort."
"Yes," Luvia twirled an obscenely expensive gem. She was also sending Tohsaka a smug grin, knowing that she had a lot more gems in stock than the Second Owner. "Well then? Shall we head on over to the potential battleground?"
That's the first thing you've said that could even remotely resemble smart.
Rin simply nodded and led them away to the one place that their senses were pointing them towards.
The school gym.
As she was about to leave, she raised a brow at the vibration in her pocket.
This was… ah, right, her phone. She had only bought one because all of her classmates had one, so it would seem out of the norm if she didn't, even if she rarely used it. However, that led her to wonder. Who exactly was calling her?
Her brow twitched for the third time today.
"What does that fake priest want now?"
As Shirou wiped the sweat off his brow, there was only one thought on his mind.
Shinji was right.
Throughout their orientations, even during lunch break, Mitsuzuri had not missed a single second in breaking into his new homeroom and publicly beg for him to come back to her.
The number of evil glares he got back in return for her stunt was honestly too much to count. The most damning thing was that he knew Mitsuzuri was well aware of the potential misunderstanding, but she must've decided that a little humiliation and self-degradation would go a long way in trying to secure his place in the Kyuudou club.
But he remained steadfast. He made his decision. He wasn't so spineless as to go back on his word… even if the attention he'd be drawing would earn him a less-than-stellar reputation.
In the end, he had to scrub the club down and clean every last piece of equipment, mostly because that was the only way Shirou could get Mitsuzuri from lambasting his reputation even further… though he didn't know how much deeper it could go from rock-bottom.
At least the third and second years know exactly why it was happening. The first years though…
Shirou shook his head and placed down the last bow. It was already dark out, but he wasn't exactly busy or needed to be somewhere. He could take his time putting things back and leaving the clubroom, hopefully for good.
It took a couple of minutes, but eventually, Shirou locked the doors and left the key where they usually left it. Under the doormat.
"Maybe Sakura's still waiting for me at home?" Shirou muttered. "I should've sent her a text in hindsight–"
Shirou paused as a shiver ran down his spine.
What was that?
That feeling on his skin, the twinge on his nose… It was familiar. He felt it every time he entered the shed in his home. In fact, it was something his dad had left behind, for him to safely study and practice his magecraft without being disturbed.
A Bounded Field? And this close by?
Why? Was there a magus at school? But why at this time? Were they hostile? His father told him that no magi were to be trusted. Honestly, Shirou didn't put much stock in them, but perhaps in hindsight, he should've paid more attention to that part of his ramblings.
Were there still students in the school? Knowing his classmates, that wasn't a likely possibility… but what if one of the first-years or transfer students stayed behind because their teachers asked them to? It wouldn't be the first time either…
Ah, screw it! He'd have to check it out. There wasn't a bone in his body saying otherwise.
He moved along the shrubbery, making sure to keep it out of sight as he made his way to where he felt it coming from. Something weird was happening in the gym, something he had never felt before. It only added to his trepidation.
He peeked from one of the windows, but he couldn't get a good view. Even after jumping, he had only caught a strange glimpse of blond as he landed. No good. He'd have to sneak around and look through the entrance.
However, as he was sneaking his way around, he heard voices in the corner ahead of him. Knowing he might be seen, he crept into the nearby bushes and hunkered down.
From where he was hiding, Shirou saw two people.
"You have some nerve to be calling me at this time, fake priest."
Is that… Tohsaka?
What was the school idol doing here?
"Is it wrong to be concerned for my charge, Rin?" A deep voice replied, who Shirou could only assume was this `fake priest` she was talking about. "Even if the Wizard Marshal described you to be the best for this task, do you not think that you alone would be capable of it?"
"Defeating mere Ghost Liners isn't that hard of a task, Kotomine."
"Even if weakened, you underestimate Servants," he berated. "After all, it was because of these Servants that you no longer have a father, remember?"
Shirou widened his eyes.
"... and it's because of words like that that you're nothing more than a fake priest," she stoically replied. "It's fine. As long as the Mystic Codes that we were provided work, we won't die."
Die!?
"To put your faith in a Magician you've never met face-to-face…" The fake priest, or rather Kotomine, sighed. "What would your father say if he were to see you now?"
"I'm certain he'd be proud to know that I'm securing a working relationship with the most influential figure in the Moonlit world," she must've narrowed her eyes as the tone following that was much more stern. "Remember your place, Kotomine. You may be in charge of my family's accounts, but I am the Tohsaka heiress. Whatever decisions I make, you have no authority to influence them."
… Shirou quickly realized that he was probably in over his head, but on the off chance that someone was going to be in danger… he couldn't just do nothing.
"Let it go, Kotomine," she said finally. "Especially if you don't want to get caught in the crossfire."
"Ghost Liner Detected. Mirror Dimension activating…"
"Well, would you look at that?" Rin sounded like she was… smirking? "Looks like it works after all, Kotomine–"
"Indeed."
BOOM! CRASH!
Shirou blinked as a tree slowly started falling his way.
Seriously!?
He only had a second before he rolled out of the way of the tree, which would've certainly crushed his head and ended any aspirations then and there. He quickly swiveled his head to look at the stump–
"Oh, I wasn't expecting an audience?" The taunting tone flew out of what looked like a priest. "Tell me, child, how is the show?
–and therein lay a crumpled Tohsaka, eyes lidded as blood slowly trickled from her wheezing mouth.
"... Tohsaka?"
She winced as she slowly tried to push herself up, only to grimace and fall back onto the stump, likely earning a few more splinters from that.
"What…?" Her eyes opened further and caught sight of him. "... the hell are you doing here, Emiya-kun?"
"That's my question!" He shouted before shaking his head and standing between them, the fallen idol and the fake priest. "What the hell is going on here!? What did you do to Tohsaka!?"
"Emiya…?" the fake priest muttered. However, a smile slowly broke out on his face. "Would you happen to know an Emiya Kiritsugu?"
How does he–?
"What does my old man have to do with this?"
"Remarkable…" he whispered almost in reverence. "Is this fate? No, it must be my reward for being under His service…"
"His…?" he heard Tohsaka mutter from behind. "You bastard… you've been working with that thing this entire time?"
"Thing?" Shirou blinked.
"Indeed," Kotomine confirmed, but what exactly he confirmed, Shirou still had no idea. "Tell me, young Emiya, do you honestly believe that you will be able to protect that girl behind you?"
"Stop… Quickly…" He heard Tohsaka once more. "Get away from here…!"
"I'm not going to leave her behind!"
His resolve and ideals… wouldn't let him even entertain the thought of running away. The girl behind him was admired by the entire school and had much more going for her future than he ever would. Her life was worth more than his, and he wasn't going to be selfish and keep his going for hers.
"If you're going to try and kill her, you'll have to go through me first!"
His declaration only made the priest smile.
"Oh, my Lord," he muttered. "I thank you for this blessing…!"
The priest took a single step towards them.
Suddenly, Shirou noticed a red veil surrounding both him and Tohsaka.
"What the–!?"
"Ah…" the priest looked disappointed. "I have blundered… truly unfortunate that I can't see the end of your suffering myself, Rin, but I supposed I'll have to make do with watching from afar." Suddenly a black pool of mud appeared under him. "My master is calling, after all."
That… What the hell is that?
His nose felt like it was burning. There was something distinctly wrong with it. He felt it scratch at his mind, but he knew that if he stopped to focus on it, something terribly wrong was going to happen. He narrowed his eyes at the fake priest and snarled.
"Hey, wait!" Shirou shouted, reaching out to stop him from doing whatever it was he was doing, but found himself unable to penetrate the red veil before him. What was this thing!? "Get back here!"
"If you survive, then you and I shall see each other once more…" He smiled as he sank into that mud. "... Emiya."
"HEY!"
And just like that, he was gone, sunken into the mud which had seemingly faded from existence. Now it was just the two of them wrapped in a red veil.
"What the hell was that?"
"What… a blunder…"
His eyes widened before he turned around and rushed to the fallen girl behind him. "Tohsaka! Keep your eyes open! I'll call for help and–"
"I'll be fine, idiot," she snarled. However, her eyes grew lidded as her tone resembled delirium. "I reinforced my body the moment he sent me flying… but I guess I was too late. I can't fight in this condition. This is bad… I can't even get those two to help me. They're probably already fighting."
"Fighting? What do you mean?" Shirou narrowed his eyes and looked around. "Is that bastard still here?"
"No… but something arguably worse is about to arrive," she said. "Or rather, we're about to be taken right to it."
"What!?" He widened his eyes. "Is it this red veil? How do we get out of here?"
"If I leave, then that something is going to get a whole lot of people killed," she denied while attempting to patch up her wounds by ripping up her skirt. Shirou tried to help, but she pushed him away. "No, you have to leave. This is not something you can handle, but you can't tell anyone what happened here or else–"
"I know about magecraft," Shirou sternly frowned. "My old man taught me a few things. You don't have to try and keep things a secret from me."
A single eye widened, the other seemingly swollen. "What…? A magus living in my territory from right under my nose…? Damn it…"
"I'll apologize later– hell, I'll even do anything you ask," Shirou quickly replied. "But you need to explain things to me. I can't help you if I'm in the dark."
Her eye narrowed.
"... What's your game?" She muttered. "Why do you want to get involved? Magi like us, such charity doesn't exist. What are you after? What do you want?"
"I want to help you!" Shirou grasped his shirt. "What kind of person looks away from someone that needs help!?"
"A magus," she frowned. "... Perhaps you lack formal education in magecraft…? No, it doesn't matter. Even if you want to help, you can't. This veil is keyed so that only someone with this Mystic Code can activate it."
"What does it do?"
"Keeps the holder safe while they use its primary and secondary functions," she snorted, inwardly berating herself for not being able to use it earlier. "The primary function is transporting the holder into a mirror dimension. Remember that `worse` thing I told you about? This Mystic Code is made to intercept it and keep it sealed inside there, but it won't last forever. I'm supposed to head inside and defeat it before it gets strong enough to break out."
"That toy-looking thing?" Shirou stared hard at it. "I guess the secondary function is supposed to help with that?" Shirou asked to which she nodded. "Then that makes things simple. Hand it over and I'll do it for you. You said it yourself. You can't fight in that state."
"Even if I gave it to you, there's no guarantee it'll work for you," she frowned. "Only a select few can even use it."
"Then you can take it back if it doesn't work," Shirou sat down on the grass beside her. "Please. I can't just sit still while I know someone is getting hurt, nor can I let someone I know get hurt."
Seeing her reluctance, Shirou decided to lower his head and bow deeply.
"Please."
"..."
"..."
"... Ah, to hell with it!" She sighed as she unhooked the watch from her wrist. "Take it and see for yourself that it won't work. Stubborn idiot."
"Thanks," Shirou wrapped it around his wrist and just stared at it. "... so how does it work?"
"When I was wearing it, it whispered the instructions in my head," she explained. "If you hear nothing then it means you can't–"
"So I just flip the top open like a flip phone and spin the glittery kaleidoscope thing in the middle, right?" He asked. "That sounds… odd."
"Yeah but–" she paused. "Wait, you can hear it?"
"Yeah, should I not be?" Shirou blinked. "And is it supposed to be this grouchy?"
"Of course not!" She shouted while red in the face.
"Oi! You'll lose more blood if you do that!"
"Shut up! I refuse to believe that the Homurahara Brownie is capable of housing a Heroic Spirit! I refuse!" She shouted. It took a second before Shirou realized that he wasn't the one she was shouting at. "It must be a lesser-known legend or something… Yes, that's it–"
"Can we focus?" Shirou found himself trying to get her renewed attention. "You said you'll be fighting something right? What is it?"
Rin frowned before giving him a studying look.
"... I can't give you a good explanation while time is of the essence, so for now, think of them as ghosts bound to the local leyline," she started. There were a few words he recognized, mostly thanks to the few games Shinji showed him. Damn it, he really should've pushed Kiritsugu more for lessons. "They won't be in their right mind and will attack anything they see, namely you. However, once you use the second function to transform, you should be able to hold your own."
"So there's a transformation function…?" He muttered. "Alright, what else?"
"They're also ghosts of historical or mythical people empowered by the legend they left behind."
Shirou blinked.
"... Okay, maybe I'll need more than just that to–"
"No time!" She shouted. He only stayed quiet when he saw another trickle of blood down her soft lips. "At this point, you'll have to trust the Mystic Code to tell you what to do. Once you transform, it'll let you know everything you need. And if you need more, my `teammates` will be able to help you while they're there. Go! I have no idea if they're still alive even!"
That only shut him up further as he nodded.
"I'll give it back when I return. Then we'll get you some help."
"Just go, idiot," she sighed. "And follow its instructions to the letter."
"Even the chant?"
This sort of thing… it's sort of familiar?
"... if there's a chant, then do it."
Shirou nodded before emptying his mind.
Let's do this.
He shot out both fists and opened the wristwatch, spinning the dial, and holding it up to his face, as if displaying the ever-changing pattern to some unseen audience.
"Magus Changer…"
A myriad of colors burst from within before enveloping him, subtly changing until it was mostly red–
"Kaleido Change!"
–before it tightened around his form in a brilliant explosion of light.
What replaced his clothes were a red spandex suit, and a red helmet fitted around his head, with the only opening being the black glass in the shape of what Tohsaka imagined to be command seals, with some white decal. The suit itself had two hand guards and what looked like a simplistic black-colored magic circle inscribed on his torso, extending towards his right shoulder.
"Red Kaleido Ranger!" echoed a voice, likely from his mystic code.
"Wait," Shirou paused. "What the hell is with this look–!?"
Before Rin knew it, he was gone, likely into the Mirror Dimension.
She just blinked at the small explosion that erupted behind the trees around where he stood.
"… Maybe that gorilla was right about the whole `senile` thing."
"Seriously?!" Shirou shouted as he appeared right where he left, except things were different.
The broken tree was still there, but Rin was not. Hell, not even the blood she left behind. In addition, he noticed that there were cracks and even holes in the gymnasium beside him.
"Where did Tohsaka go?" He tried to rub his chin but immediately remembered that the helmet was on him. "Okay, somehow I can see out of this thing crystal clear, and it doesn't really feel cramped or itchy or even damp. Is this a magecraft thing?"
He shook his head.
"First, I need to find Tohsaka's allies, then whatever ghost we're supposed to beat…" he paused. "Hopefully in that order."
He was then interrupted as he noticed a section of the gymnasium wall collapse inward after a loud shockwave seemed to impact it.
"... That must be it."
Shirou took a deep breath and charged forward into the gymnasium.
And from there…
"It appears she finally arrived," a yellow figure said.
"IT'S ABOUT TIME, YOU BUMPKIN!" A blue figure screamed in frustration. "DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW MANY TIMES WE'VE NEARLY DIED!?"
Shirou was about to say something but he widened his eyes at the black shadow above him.
"Dodge, Tohsaka!"
Shirou simply did so, noting how much easier it felt to move his body… was his body being reinforced by the Mystic Code? Oh wait, it was called a Magus Changer, right?
He turned around but had to raise his arm to block what looked like another arm, but wrapped in bandages. He looked at the figure, finally noticing the white mask staring back at him.
Is this the ghost that Tohsaka was talking about?
He could barely react when it spun on his heel and kicked him away and between the other two of Tohsaka's teammates. Ah, screw it, he'd just call them Blue and Yellow.
"It's obviously a Hassan of some sort," Blue said. "None of my attacks can hit it, and every time it passed us by, one of his dirks nearly skewered us. He must have some sort of evasion skill."
"Volumen Hydrargyrum is capable of blocking it for me, but that's all it can do," Yellow said. "And yes, before you ask, the Magus Changer somehow managed to assimilate my dear Mystic Code… and even made it this dastardly yellow color."
"And all of my gems are blue sapphires now," Blue added. "We can't even use most of our regular spells. This insufferable Mystic Code isn't letting us! The fact that I can only use such basic spellwork, in addition to having to stick with this boorish suit– wait, that's not important!"
"Indeed. We can't get close enough to it," Yellow agreed. "I don't suppose you have any method of trapping him? In his rampant state, it might be easy to do so."
… Maybe if he had a bow or something, he could–
A red flash of light, and suddenly a black bow with some red highlights appeared in his grasp.
"A bow?" Blue muttered. "I wasn't aware that you knew archery, Tohsaka."
Right, he needed to end that farce real quick.
"I'm not Tohsaka."
The two of them paused at his distinctly masculine tone.
Shortly after they leaped away from him.
"Who are you!?" Blue said as she held blue gems in her grasp, with her hand almost like a pistol.
It was at that instance that the `Hassan` blasted forward and tried to skewer Blue while she was distracted. However, Shirou was able to jump in between them and use his bow to block the attack.
"Not important right now!" Shirou shouted as the `Hassan` leaped away and faded into the shadows once more. "You need something to hit it, right? I can do that."
The aggravating whisper was telling him that.
"... Fine," Yellow answered.
"But Tohsaka–!"
"Is likely fine," Yellow interrupted her. "If he had mal-intent towards us, he would've let you get skewered right then and there."
Blue seemingly winced before looking his way in apparent anger.
"Don't worry. I didn't hurt her," Shirou tried soothing her anger but kept his guard up in case that guy tried anything again. "She should be resting beside the gymnasium. Tohsaka and I will explain everything later."
Blue simply paused before aggressively looking away.
"... Fine. You'll get your chance."
"And hopefully we'll be done with this fight," Yellow added. "That bow. What does it do? What functions does your mystic code have?"
"... It's a bow?" He was pretty sure that was all it was, even if it was absurdly heavy and probably not used with regular arrows.
"... Tohsaka scrapped the bottom of the barrel didn't she?" Blue sighed. "Just do the thing your spirit is whispering in your ear to do!"
"Right," Shirou nodded before he held his hand out.
To catch a foe that only runs away, you'll have to use an arrow that'll endlessly chase it. The words flowed into his head. I don't like you, but I'm professional enough to know that this battle is more important.
Shirou felt his eye twitch. Not professional enough to keep it to himself, apparently.
Repeat after me. Trace…
"... on," Shirou muttered. It felt like the hammer of a gun was firing in the back of his mind. From his fingertips, a shape slowly took form formed from red energy. It appeared to be a sword, yet he felt the physical urge to place it upon the bow.
"That's…" Blue whispered.
"A Noble Phantasm… no, a copy built via the Magus Changer?" Yellow muttered. Before something occurred to her. "Wait, how are you able to draw it out already? We've yet to fully synchronize with our Heroic Spirits!"
Honestly, he didn't know, but instead, he focused on the task at hand.
"Soar above the red plains," he felt it change shape, becoming more aerodynamic, yet still jagged like the fangs of a beast. "Hrunting!"
A red flash flew.
Just when it looked like it was about to hit a wall, it changed direction without losing momentum toward the corner of the room. A shadow left it and tried running, yet the red arrow kept hunting.
"Now's our chance!" Blue pointed her gem toward the fleeing foe. Blue flashes of light exploded from her fingertips, and the resulting projectiles were almost like rain, which the `Hassan` had to constantly evade. "Now!"
Yellow threw her hand out as the yellow slime-like thing beside her surged out like a spear. It also followed the `Hassan` yet seemingly created a cage as it did so.
Dismiss your bow and bring out these swords.
Shirou blinked as blueprints entered his mind.
"Wait, why–?"
Just do it!
Shirou gritted his teeth in frustration before doing as he was told. The bow disappeared and in its place were a pair of twin swords, one white and the other black– wait, why was it red? That felt wrong to look at.
"More Noble Phantasms…?" Yellow looked with slight intrigue.
"I'll draw its attention," Shirou said before he jumped towards the `Hassan` with both swords at his side, not even waiting for a reply. Somehow, it felt right to do so.
This blasted old fart and his addictions. He felt the whisper at the back of his mind. This is humiliating, but repeat after me–!
"Red…!" Shirou muttered as he and the `Hassan` were rapidly closing the distance between each other. He threw both swords and quickly traced two more.
The `Hassan` dodged but was unable to see the swords fly around him as if magnetized. The two he traced were also thrown, to which he attempted to dodge once more, but in doing so he was pelted with a rain of blue from his side. Rather, it was more akin to a waterfall of blue energy.
"You dare to look away from me!?"
Flinching momentarily, Yellow's slime swirled around his feet and locked him in place.
"Now is your chance, Red!"
"… Crane…!" The newest swords in his hands grew in size. Held behind him like the wings of an angel, he twirled in the air in a way that felt natural before bringing both blades down on his foe just as the other four swords came at him from all sides. "… Wings!"
Was it over? He felt that Hassan's energy slowly begin to dissipate, but the urging from the back of his mind only tripled.
Dodge!
Shirou turned around only to see a blackened hand attempt to reach out toward him.
Death.
Only it never came.
Yellow slime wrapped around it so tightly that it could not even move an inch.
Blue gems shot its torso and blasted the deathly arm away by its impact.
And now, Shirou narrowed his eyes as he raised the Red Crane Wing one last time, Red cleaved through its head.
It was truly over. He expected the ghost's body to fade like ashes to the wind. So he relaxed momentarily.
That was easier than he thought.
Of course it was. That was nothing more than a wraith. It's nothing compared to the real thing.
Right… Hmm. a trio of Red, Blue, and Yellow…
Hey, wait a minute! I remember where this is from–!
Only to blink as their foe slowly began to swell.
"Uh…"
Ah, I forgot about this trope.
Trope? Oh right. After the fights, the monsters would always… OH–!
Then the corpse exploded in a plume of gaseous fire.
"It is over…" a man sighed from within a church. "Though it wasn't what I wanted, there is still more potential to be had."
He paused and looked at a golden cup placed on the altar.
"Ah, my apologies. I meant that it wasn't really satisfying to leave the young Emiya at that," he continued. "He will certainly try and keep going, regardless of what others say. In that regard, he is very much like his father… Now there is but one question."
He smiled.
"Will he die just like his father? With his dream ruined and ideals dashed into pieces?" His chest lightly rumbled. "I cannot wait to see…"
"You and your delusions," a haughty tone replied from behind him. "However, you remain true to yourself. That is what matters above all else, Kotomine."
"Yes, my liege," Kotomine smiled as he bowed. "Though, I do believe that the stage for you has yet to arise."
"Indeed," he swirled a cup of wine. "Should that day arise, I shall deal with these buffoons myself. Nothing more than fakers mimicking true legends."
"Until then, we will summon more and more Servants," Kotomine turned to the cup on the altar. "And will continue doing so until it is full. Had that been a true servant, we would've only needed to summon six more… but as that was nothing more than an echo, a shade, it has barely filled."
"And how many do you feel that cup needs?" the haughty man ordered an answer.
"If they would be to the same caliber as that shade of Cursed Arm?" Kotomine pondered. "Perhaps fifty or so, give or take ten."
"Very well," the man stood. "Until then, I shall rest. This world is filled with too much unnecessary waste. However, I am a magnanimous king. Those magi fighting to prevent the Grail's manifestation… let them fight. Their meaningless struggle will be, at the very least, an entertaining show. Wouldn't you agree, Kotomine?"
The fake priest smiled.
"Indeed."
Shirou blinked as he now stood in the gymnasium once more, except that nothing was damaged.
Was it all a dream? Did he actually dream about becoming a Super Sentai ranger? Like the ones from shows that Fuji-nee kept wanting to watch with him?
Of course not, you idiot. All of it happened in the Mirror Dimension. Any damage to the surroundings over there doesn't transfer over to reality. Hence why you fought there in the first place, to minimize damage.
Shirou's eye twitched.
He didn't have to be rude about it.
"Now that we've succeeded," he heard Yellow whisper from behind him. He tried to turn but found that her yellow slime had surrounded him in a quasi-cage. "Who are you?"
Remove your helmet and explain before they blow your head off.
I was going to do that anyway!
Shirou nodded and unlatched the notches he knew were at the base of the helmet, and then shortly after, pulled it off.
"Right," he said after getting a gulp of air. "I'm–"
"Sherou?"
He blinked at looked at Blue.
"Uh… yes?"
Wait, when did I hear someone call me that before…?
She took off her helmet. Shirou watched in surprise as blond ringlets fell from each side of her head… incredibly familiar blond ringlets.
"Luvia!?"
"You're a magus!?"
"You're a sentai ranger!?"
"You know this one, lady Edelfelt?"
"We met this morning… but I did not know he was a magus," she blinked in her costume. "How on earth did I not realize you were a magus if you were hanging out with Matou of all people? It should've been obvious that a magus would naturally mingle with other magi."
"Probably because I'm a third-rate one," he ignored the fact that the whispering agreed with him on that. "Wait, Shinji's a magus?"
"More importantly," a flash of yellow and Yellow, who had been wearing her costume, not looked like a short blond girl wearing the Homuarahara Academy uniform. "Return to normal. After that, take us to Tohsaka."
"Indeed," Luvia seemed to smirk slightly as a blue flash returned her uniform. "I can't wait to see the look on Miss Tohsaka's face knowing that she didn't do anything at all! Honestly, how lazy of her."
"Don't blame her for what she couldn't control," Shirou found himself arguing, even as the costume and helmet in his arms turned into red light. "She was attacked by some kind of priest."
"A priest," Yellow–he still didn't know her name–frowned. "Then that means the church is involved… but that does not make any sense."
"A matter to investigate later," Luvia ran her fingers through her hair. "For now, we shall need to humiliate– er, I mean take care of Miss Tohsaka."
"I noticed that," Shirou sighed but made them follow him outside the gymnasium. "She should be around… there."
"Ah, Miss Tohsa… ka…?" the once jubilant and overjoyed Luvia took in the surrounding destruction and frowned. "... Perhaps you are right in that this is more serious than it seems. Reines?"
"Someone is actively interfering with our mission," Yellow, now known as Reines, frowned in turn. "I shall let my brother know about this and we can go from there. For now, we can take care of her superficial injuries and make it seem as if she was never hurt. It would arouse too many questions otherwise… but we will need to take her to a safe place so that she can actually recover."
"I haven't managed to secure a home base yet, especially not one capable of handling potential invaders. We don't know if that priest will come back for her," Luvia winced as she bit her nail. "I assume that the same is for you?"
"Indeed," Reines sighed as she sat on her yellow slime, which now looked silver like mercury. "I had hoped to use Lady Tohsaka's abode until we can get more official residency, but I dare not risk the bounded fields while she is unconscious."
"Why not?" Shirou blinked.
"Because one of those fields could very easily just kill us," Luvia raised a brow. "Isn't it common sense for a magus to prevent other magi from entering their abode unannounced and without their permission? Where you taught in a barnyard?"
More of a shed, really.
"Well then," Shirou muttered. "I guess I have a good solution."
The two magi looked at him with raised brows.
"He's late…" a brunette sighed as she laid her head down on the now-warm wood of the dining table. "Sakura isn't even here… I'm starving. If he wasn't going to be home then he should've left a message or something?"
She looked around and sighed once more. "He's never usually this late… something must've happened."
A sense of urgency, which honestly should've arisen an hour ago, welled up from within her.
"I'm his guardian… I should do something!" She stood up and picked up her phone. "If I have to call in the boys for a city-wide search then I'll–"
The bell rang.
Fujimura Taiga leaped to her feet and slid the front door open.
"Shirou! You're late! What in the world have you… been… doing?"
"Hey, Fuji-nee?" He smiled as if the school idol wasn't draped over his shoulders with a peaceful look on her slumbering face. "Sorry, but I think dinner will have to wait for just a while longer. I'm exhausted."
"A pleasure to make you acquaintance," a blond foreigner bowed with a curtsy, which Taiga was idly aware of being one of the new transfer students– both blond if she recalled. "I am Luviagelita Edelfelt. Mister Sherou has kindly offered to take care of us."
"Likewise, I am Reines El-Melloi Archisorte," oh there's the other blond transfer student. What a coincidence. "We will be in your care."
A single moment passed.
"Shirou."
"Yes?"
"WHEN DID I RAISE A MANWHORE, HUH!?"
"Fuji-nee!?"
A/N: Not sure if One-shot or not.
Also, timeline-wise, Shirou would've been alive long enough that Abaranger (Dino Thunder) would've either finished airing or was still airing and making way for Dekaranger (SPD). This is the main reason why Shirou knows about Sentai.
The only issue I have with potentially continuing this is the Megazords. Idk what Zords to give them. Speculate all you want though. Shirou's Zord will just be a Sword, where its legs will be the sword blade and the handle and hilt form the torso + head. The other two would be arms, and when/if two new rangers show up, they'll take the legs spots and the previous legs become sword wings.
I thought about this too much.
Happy (late) April Fools.