I see a red door and

I want it painted black

No colors anymore,

I want them to turn black

He was always the one that got the stares and looks as if he was crazy. He was the difficult and messed up one with less idea how to proceed without people becoming too pushy. He took the brunt of all the hatred among his own and he had to carry the guilt like an armor.

He still felt vulnerable..

Ever since the day he was born and developed that strangeness and ever since after being discovered as the ''black sheep'' of their family and their community and all the city.

It put a stamp on him as he was bashed through the mud and often suffered from people just jumping at him because his family name was forever taunted not just by his father but also himself.

He could not help it..

I have to turn my head

until my darkness goes

He once more turned away from the crowds piling up the city streets and collectively trying to hide from the horrible storm on the way.

New York got lucky once more as something came its way before hitting anything more south and coastal like it usually did.

And he was feeling it deep in his bones and even deeper in his feathers.

Yes, his black but soft feathers that covered his wings. And beautiful wings they were. All black and underside matte while the up side looked slicked oily with shine.

He even could fly some but since he wasn't actively using them it caused more pain than anything else. But god, how he longed to fly…

To stretch those wings to full extent…

I see a line of cars and

they're all painted black

He was supposed to be born with special gene that gave him white wings under specific conditions. In his case, being almost killed by his own father and his goon buddy from serial killer fan club elicited enough warrant for wings..

Just not the white ones..

I see people turn their heads

and quickly look away

Like a newborn baby,

it just happens every day

He was trying, and hard. Not a day passed that he wasn't trying to remove every single speck of disgrace from the family's name.

His wings didn't help that matter much because of the color. There were only a handful people with black feathers like his. Because while they could be dark and near black, however his were especially unique the way he had matte feathers combined with shiny ones in a way that wasn't usual.

And there the community set the border.

Also he was the only one in his family with the genetics for having wings at all. But only thanks to his father being arrested and kids turning on him with vengeance that was book worthy he was having them visible and all out.

The science behind that was still fairly fresh and most scientists blamed it on the virus they discovered had activated as the flue-like pandemic hit most of the planet's population.

That happened decades ago. Before the arrest. Before everything went down the drain massively and changed their lives forever.

I look inside myself and

see my heart is black

I see my red door

I must have it

painted black

The start of his true darkness didn't happened before he let the first drops of what overcame his senses like the trail of something teasingly sweet but slightly bitter at the same time. And next thing he knew was running away with a bad shake in his hand and terrible feeling of guilt because the realization of being the thing he was trying so hard not to become was already happening and he couldn't do that.

He was not his father..

There was no way he could ever be his father after all the hard work of not letting it happen..

He was running hard and far and all the way through the forests beyond the boarding school he hated so much. And suddenly his feet hit a small climb up on the ground and he just let the momentum of his speed lift him upwards and there he get to sense the best feeling he's ever had in his entire life.

Maybe then I'll fade away

and not have to face the facts

He was flying and could feel the delighted tingle behind the shoulder blades as if this was the only thing he was ever destined to do with his life.

The was he could feel the stretch and pull of the skin and how the wind picked up and settled the black feathers as they maneuvered the strips of air and lifted his body higher and higher.

But the most was the emotional heights he never knew existed. The sense of freedom. He truly felt free here in this moment.

He didn't want to go back to the hellhole and face the music. He hated everything and everyone there.

It's been a horrendous nightmare after the terrible few days in that closet and the fact he just went at that kid with such a fierce energy and pure raw emotion with intent to kill…

He started shaking so badly the stride was broken and while his mind struggled to deal with the raw chaos of all the conflicting emotions his body spasmed in the dark skies and his black silky wings gave up. The descent was rather graceful and beautiful against the last dregs of red hues as the sun was laying lower behind the horizon.

Like a wilted leaf he landed with a soft thud leaving his body covered with the black…

It's not easy facing up

when your whole world is black

No more will my green

sea go turn a deeper blue

His body jerked upwards with a fresh jolt of energy and only thanks to extra restraints he didn't push himself out of the window like he did when his mother was outside. That had been a bit of a scare but to her it was ''how dare you do that? You know the whole city will be after us now that you've managed to make a scene''

His hand still burnt deeply at the memory.

He hated his night terrors even more. A crack in the wall above his bed smiled at him and he nearly made a hole table fall over as he forgot for a moment his wings took up all the space and while was winged for many years now he still lacked the finesse of motion control.

The doctors said it'll take some time for his body to get used to.

That was two days after he was finally found at the deep woods after loosing it as he tried to escape the school in a flurry of emotional turmoil.

He was found unconscious and suffering from deep head wound and mild internal bleeding. According to doctors he wasn't showing any signs of waking up for three months and knowing his mother she had walked a deep ridge in the hallway outside his patient room.

His memory slowly returned via night terrors of the fiercest ways possible within a year. He never came back to that school. He was placed in a one that was less bad, or at least less paying attention at the odd boy. And there he met another boy who had the misfortune of having a rotten father moment.

It was what he needed and for until he went to FBI he felt like he could do it.

I could not foresee this

thing happening to you

The level of bullying was top notch FBI style. They found him pretty badass on occasion but for the most part him being one of the rare winged agent it caused a lot of wrong rubbing between authoritative personalities among the higher level agents.

And he still couldn't speak of Quantico. That memory would give him early grave if he even deserved any.

He was the epitome of black sheep and that was how society wished to see him. Everyone collectively avoided even trying to see him any other way.

But he was needed, never wanted…

If I look

hard enough

into the setting sun

The strength of the jolt that sent him spiraling into a deep abys and further into the black that kept surrounding his mind and subconsciousness slammed hard into his chest and he spiraled through the old memories of his father as if that was some sort of movie theater he was invited to try out the VCR tapes.

He was almost there… And then the damn sheriff took it all away and called him son…

He was not…

I wanna see

it painted,

painted black

He returned to the place that once started all that and while he was more accepted by Gil and his team the looks still haunted him.

More so enough to make him forget about having wings when the bomb went off after he chopped the guys hand off with that precision his father would applaud to him.

Maybe he had soaked up more of his father's lessons in human anatomy than he dared to admit.

And just as he was hoping for peace all those little details came back to save the day..

He was sore and stiff for a week after. The blast still made him dizzy and when nobody looked he allowed the black dots cloud his vision and back home he let his body fall with all the grace of a drunk pigeon.

The snake was first point that changed it all…

Then he made the topple through his window.

He tried not to think about that first nap at the bullpen.

The drugs were a bit of a callback to the time he managed to impress himself of all the ways he could make himself feel bad boy without killing somebody that deserved it. The first trip to the dark side as he'd snorted way more than was humanly possible and flew up towards the dark night and full moon and woke up week later in a bed of a stranger who showed him passion…

Black as night,

black as coal

I wanna see

it painted,

painted black

Black as night,

black as coal

I wanna see the sun

blotted out from the sky

And then he did it…

It was to save his sister but turned out a new journey towards spiraling darkness.

Not even Paul Lazar held a fire to this one.

He was slowly falling apart and there was nothing he could do to avoid the inevitable crash into the deep abys.

Even the wings couldn't save him as his body succumbed to the evil smirk of Vivian Capshaw's pills.

He knew it'll be a one way ticket.

He knew that there was just one way. He kissed Dani with a passion he only knew once before and mentally said his farewell. She deserved the version without black wings and added darkness. Even if JT was the only one who could understand the most after he was demonstrated of how stupid humanity still was when it came to badge and uniform.

I see a red door and I

want it painted black

No colors any more,

I want them to turn black

He finally forgave his father and accepted his change while hanging from the ceiling. His right wrist hurt with the added weight of the black sad wings pulling down his last moments of life he didn't recognize anymore.

He had been ready for months now.

Even if they get out he knew deep down the only way it will go down and while he did everything to convince his brain to think otherwise he just knew the darkness inside was right…

He saw that glint in his father's eyes after he walked out with that key.. He saw the old man's face and for the first time in his life he actually understood…

His hand was not shaking anymore… the tremor that lived in the abused sinew and fired up fragile nerve endings… his hand was perfectly still…

I have to turn

my head until

my darkness goes

He knew… still he tried…

One last good doing before the darkness takes him away once more. The deep ache in his chest slammed breath out of his lungs and he almost chocked on it.

''You're going to kill me.. Ten seconds ago, that's when you decided..''

''There's no other way..''

''Yes, there is…''

No more will my green sea

go turn a deeper blue

I could not foresee this

thing happening to you

I see a line of cars and

they're all painted black

His eyes took a moment to adjust to the darkness surrounding him and for a moment he couldn't remember where he was.

And who he was…

He vaguely recalled some sort of explosion and then nothing.. And then he was flying among bullets and tree branches on a mission to take him out of the sky.

He soared higher than ever and clenched his fists and jaw and pushed his body until he was so high up he couldn't see the ground.

Then he turned to face the sun and didn't stop until his body gave up and he spiraled deep into the black abys he welcomed like an old friend he once shared something unforgettable.

For a change he only saw the blue eyes and dark curls as another set of black wings surrounded them. This was a memory he wanted to hold on to until he ceased to exist.

Suddenly he felt his head being lifted by a gentle touch and something touched his lips. A tiny drop of water slid past the charred skin and grime of the ground and his tongue welcomed it as it evaporated in the heat.

More followed until he felt less a part of a desert and more of a human flesh he once was.

His eyes still couldn't focus and deep ache was searing through his throat. Nothing made sense anymore and he let that slide as he saw the eyes he never wanted to forget.

He just didn't want to wake up, or anything. He wanted the final darkness to put its blanket over his body and let him sleep forever because he didn't deserve anything…

He failed to be not his father.

In the end he and his father were the same…

Maybe then

I'll fade away and

not have to face the facts

The blue orbs stared back as his own blues slowly slid open. It was the only thing in focus and that was all he needed.

A black feather gently tickled his face as a slender hand softly lifted his head and voice of an angel told it was all okay now. He was alive and he will heal.

That one day the world will be able to accept them.

And somewhere deep down he wished for that to be truth.

But he couldn't believe that now.

He was still in that halfway daze and for a moment all he wanted was for it to end on this hopeful note..

But like always the fate wanted him to live through all of it.

Not that there was anything else left to do.

His memory wasn't solid anymore, he was told that a bullet grazed his head pretty badly and when he'd fallen and then drowned the missing air made it worse. He will probably regain some of his voice but not fully, maybe enough to speak but maybe just to sing, depending on the way his throat heals. Another bullet he deep down knew was Dani had taken that away from him, so he could not expel more lies.

It would take the longest for him to able to fly again as the wing on his right side suffered a lot post the explosion he could not really remember. Somebody told him he'd thrown that damn knife at the ground and there had been a landmine.

Behind his back..

He often has dreams of seeing the horror in Dani's eyes as she sees the bloody knife in his hand. He has to ask himself what'd he do?

The guilty hand no more.. Trust yourself and let go…

It would take years until full recovery. He made it far before his body succumbed to injury. And then his mind broke and he fell down hard and fast and then he drowned and was washed up on this lone island somewhere warm.. He couldn't go back anymore…

He was tainted with darkness and his father sins..

He no longer could see his family nor even be in that same side of the world.

He was tainted by the blood of his father like his father was by his twenty three victims…

To them he was now the boy in the box… boy who betrayed everything he claimed to stand up for… he'd tainted everything… left a trail of blood in his wake…

To them he was no more just like his hand was now to him… the sinning hand of death touch…

He couldn't tell if he was still trapped in the nightmare or was it his life now in the purgatory…

The endless exile of his fate was now deemed by the man of blue eyes…

He told Malcolm he wasn't saint.. That he'd done things to deserve exile.

That having black wings meant that he was the one doomed to darkness and purgatory forever because someone like him could not exist without terrible sins.

He'd been told that black winged meant tainted by the devil…

Well, he'd agreed. It was how he felt…

But the blue eyes told him it was all a lie made up by people who had no wings at all. Who never understood anything and couldn't even comprehend the magic that was given to many but not all. The privilege of being special..

He couldn't feel that..

But he will live with that as long as he was supposed to and he will not go to darkness to stay… even if half of him was drowned in guilt.

He had drowned and he knew that it wasn't that bad.

He'd died twice and maybe the third was that charm everyone talked about.

Malcolm Whitly died, Malcolm Bright died.. Who was he now?

Because Danny Brooks died too, and then Neal Caffrey died.

They both had died as fallen black angels…

Maybe black wasn't as bad of a color as they made it look…

If I look

hard enough

into the setting sun

My love will laugh with me

before the morning comes