Austin tried to stretch in his seat, but the row in front of him was much too close. His long legs were bent around his seat and every time the little girl in front of him threw her head back, she was dangerously close to cracking her head against his knee.

The day was halfway over, both the uneven bars and floor final, dominated by the Rock. Payson won gold on each event; Kelly and Cassie finished second and third on bars and Kelly managed a bronze on floor, edging out Kaylie for the final medal. The NGO was getting a lesson about giving the Rock girls a challenge.

The crowd cheered as a line of gymnasts entered the arena and marched towards the raised platform in for the vault final.

Only three girls qualified on vault, performing the required two vaults during day one and all three were from the Rock.

Kaylie's brown ponytail bounced as she followed Lauren and Cassie Bartlet up the stairs and out onto the platform to salute the judges.

They were done. He wrestled with the idea all night, but he kept coming back to the same conclusion. He and Kaylie, no matter how much he wanted it to work, just didn't fit together. It wasn't the usual problem when two high caliber athletes got together. Usually, they were too similar, focused on their goals and not on each other. It wasn't even the opposite problem, his relaxed outlook clashing with her need to control her surroundings.

Kaylie ran down the carpet, towards the vault, landing her double twisting Yurchenko, but even from the stands, Austin saw the form break in her legs. A stupid mistake, one the World silver medalist on the event shouldn't be making.

Then her second vault, a handspring layout full, with a huge leg separation, it was obvious her focus just wasn't there. His eyes flickered to Sasha, standing below the platform, arms crossed over his chest. Their coach wasn't happy and Kaylie silently moved to the chairs lining the competition floor, passing out of his view.

He could deal with control issues. What he couldn't deal with was lack of trust. Nothing happened with Kelly and nothing would ever have happened with Kelly or anyone else. Austin didn't cheat. Bad boy image aside, he was a good boyfriend and he knew it.

Her scores went up, an average of 15.35. Good, but not what Kaylie was capable of, not even close.

Trust wasn't something Kaylie would be able to pull out of thin air. She either trusted him or she didn't and based upon her reaction the night before when Kelly's silence reined in the elevator bay, Kaylie didn't trust him.

Lauren saluted after her first vault, a great handspring layout with a one and a half twist and the crowd cheered as the score posted, 15.5.

Austin watched Lauren move back towards the end of the run, nodding at whatever instruction Sasha was giving her as he mirrored her journey down on the floor. He should be pissed as hell at Lauren. That stupid picture she took of him and Kelly was the start of all the trouble last night, but the only emotion Austin felt was relief. He shouldn't be feeling relieved, not if he and Kaylie really belonged together, and yet, there it was.

Lauren nailed her second vault, a double twisting Tsukahara. She landed emphatically legs straight, chest and chin up. She saluted the judges who quickly awarded her with a 15.6, pushing her ahead of Kaylie with a 15.55 average score.

Lauren and Kaylie were world class on vault, but neither of them could hold a candle to Cassie Bartlet, the Rock junior, who vaulted two of the hardest skills in the women's Code of Points, an Amanar and a Chang and barring any total disaster, she would easily win this final.

Austin glanced at the empty seat beside him. Max flew back to Boulder early that morning. He was definitely moving out to Los Angeles, the coaches at All-Olympia were practically drooling over the idea of having a Men's National Team member at their famously female-centric gym. He was going to throw a huge send-off party next weekend.

Cassie Bartlet's final scores were posted.

"Ladies and Gentleman, the results of our vault final," the arena's announcer called, "Bronze to Kaylie Cruz, Silver to Lauren Tanner and Gold to Cassandra Bartlet, all from the Rocky Mountain Gymnastics Training Center. Let's give them a round of applause!"

Austin clapped politely.

"Up next," the announce called as the girls marched out of the arena, "the final event of the competition, the women's balance beam final."

Relieved or not, Austin wasn't in the mood to watch Lauren Tanner win a gold medal on anything. He would go back to his room and get his luggage. In just a few hours they would be back in Boulder, but everything would be different.


"Good job, Payson," Sasha said as she moved down the platform stairs after her beam routine. It was a relatively new routine and the difficulty level was higher than anything she'd ever attempted, even prior to her back injury, but once she nailed the routine, it would be truly spectacular.

He glanced up for her score, a tenth lower than the day before at 16.000. It would be enough for at least a silver medal, depending upon how Lauren performed next.

Purely on a professional level, attending this competition was a gamble that paid off tremendously. If Lauren hit her routine, the Rock would level Las Vegas with at leave with twelve of a possible fifteen medals and all five gold medals. Sasha glanced over at the front row of the stands where the newly appointed National Chairman Marcus McGowan was sitting with several other NGO officials. Marcus met his eye and nodded.

Sasha smirked and nodded back. He refocused his eyes on Lauren as she worked through her routine confidently before dismounting with a stuck two and a half twist.

"Nice, Lauren," he said as she jogged back down to the floor.

"Thanks," she said, smiling brightly and moving back to her chair to wait for her score. He glanced at his girls and then frowned. Kelly, whose routine wasn't nearly difficult enough at the moment to seriously challenge for a medal and Payson were sitting at one end of the row of chairs and Lauren was at the complete opposite end.

Sasha ran a hand through his hair. During the previous three rotations he'd been too busy to notice any tension. Shit. What could have happened between last night and today to cause another rift?

It was a pitfall of working with young athletes, but particularly young female athletes. Men resolved conflicts quickly; a solid fist to the jaw and then it was over, good or bad. Women carried tension with them for months, sometimes years. This was the last thing they needed in the months leading up to the Olympics.

He looked towards Payson as Lauren's score was posted, a 16.200, giving her the gold and completing the Rock's sweep.

"Ladies and gentlemen, the result of our balance beam final," the announcer called, "with the bronze, Tessa Grande of Denver Elite, with the silver, Payson Keeler of the Rocky Mountain Gymnastics Training Center and the gold, Lauren Tanner, also of the Rocky Mountain Gymnastics Training Center. This concludes our events for the weekend. Thank you for coming out and supporting Toys for Tots and USA Gymnastics!"

The girls lined up and were escorted out of the arena. Sasha moved in next to Payson as they walked toward the locker room.

"What happened with Lauren?" he asked, under his breath.

Her eyes flashed up to his and held. "I'll explain on the plane," she said. "It's not just Lauren."

He placed a hand on her tense shoulder and squeezed gently. He immediately felt her relax into the touch. He pulled away quickly, but she smiled at him gratefully before following the rest of the girls back towards the locker room to change.

Watching her go, all the worry from the last few minutes melted away. He shouldn't feel this way. He should be terrified and twisted into knots of guilt and self-loathing over what happened last night, but he couldn't muster those emotions anymore. He loved her and though she couldn't say it back yet, he was sure she loved him. They would be together, in secret or out in the open, whatever options were available to them, but as of last night, it was only a matter of time and for the first time in a long time, Sasha was happy.


Their section of the plane was virtually silent. Kelly tapped her fingers against her armrest rhythmically, following the beat of the song in her headphones. Her phone was in airplane mode, so she couldn't receive texts, but she did get one just before boarding the plane:

Dad: Congrats, Kell-Belle. You looked great out there!

She hadn't heard from him in months. Kelly thought back, trying to remember, maybe it was over a year now. Why did he contact her? Did he think that just because she was out on her own now that she'd forgive him? After he just up and left one day, leaving her with her crazy mother. Fat chance.

Payson's hand touched her arm lightly and Kelly pulled her headphones from her ears. "I'll be right back."

Kelly nodded and stretched out her neck as Payson stood and moved a few rows away where Sasha was sitting, an entire row to himself. Payson wasn't ready to tell her yet and Kelly respected that, but she didn't know who those two thought they were fooling. The sexual tension practically crackled in the air whenever they were near each other and they never missed an opportunity to touch each other. Maybe they were only fooling themselves. Sasha had self-sacrificial written all over him and Payson wasn't exactly the most experienced girl when it came to relationships.

She was still watching Payson and Sasha, whose heads were ducked close together as they spoke quietly when someone stepped into her view. Looking up, she bit her lip.

"Can we talk?" Austin said, though he didn't wait for an invitation, simply sat down in Payson's empty seat.

She shrugged. "I guess so."

"Look," he said, turning towards her, "I want you to know what happened with Kaylie wasn't your fault. It was going to happen sooner or later."

Kelly scoffed and rolled her eyes. "Of course it was my fault, Austin. She thought that I…that we…and I know I said it last night, but I'm so sorry."

"Stop apologizing, Kel. You can't help it if my many charms were too much for you," he joked, grinning crookedly at her.

He wasn't helping. She vowed to put those feelings behind her. Austin was off-limits, even if Kaylie never forgave her.

"I don't even know what I was feeling," she whispered. "It was just nice that someone was finally nice to me, you know?"

Suddenly serious, Austin nodded. "Yeah, I know and look," he said, his hand falling down on top of hers, squeezing it, "you've been a good friend. I didn't expect that and you know you're gorgeous. I'm not that guy. I don't cheat, but I'd be lying if I said that your feelings were totally one-sided."

"Is this supposed to be making me feel better?" she asked, raising a brow at him.

"Umm, yes?"

She laughed. "It's working," she said, feeling a weight lift from her shoulders.

"Good," he said. "Friends?"

"Not like I have a ton of other options," she said, shrugging, "friends. I just want you to know though, I'm sorry things didn't work out with Kaylie. Do you think its really over?"

Austin glanced over his shoulder, where Lauren and Kaylie were sitting a few rows ahead of them. "Yeah," he said, "I do."


Payson sighed, falling back into the seat next to Sasha.

"You ready to tell me what happened?" he asked, marking the page of the book he was reading and tossing it into his carryon bag.

So she did, every painful detail that Kelly divulged the night before spilling from her lips, even though she probably should have held back some of it.

"Lauren," Sasha whispered, running his hands through his hair. "Will she ever learn?"

"I think," Payson said, "I think maybe this time it came from a good place." She was loathe to defend Lauren's behavior and she knew that the motivation for showing Kaylie that picture was probably entirely selfish, but Kelly did have feelings for Austin and Payson wouldn't be all that shocked if he returned them.

Sasha shook his head. "That's no excuse."

"Maybe not, but it happened and I have a feeling the gym isn't going to be a pleasant place for a while."

"The holidays are right around the corner. It'll give everyone some time to cool off and be out of each other's way. I was talking to McGowan before we left the hotel, he wants Cassie to attend the Test Event in London in January, get her some international experience before the Games. Then when we get back, you and Kelly have the American Cup to prep for, then the Pacific Rims right after that. We should be so busy, no one will have time to be hacked off at each other."

Payson nodded, only slightly reassured, but she reached out and put her hand over his. "And what about…" she trailed off, knowing he would understand.

Sasha turned his hand over and entwined their fingers together. "We'll make time," he said. "I promise."

She took a deep breath and exhaled sharply. "Okay then," she said, slipping her hand from his and standing. "I'll let you get back to your book." She wanted to stay, wanted to lift up the armrest between the seats and curl her body into his, to grab a blanket from the overhead compartment and fall asleep in his arms. But that was impossible, so instead she turned and moved back towards her seat.

The rest of the flight was spent in the same awkward silence it started with, the lines firmly drawn, the physical manifestation being the three rows of seats between them, Kaylie and Lauren on one side, Kelly and Payson on the other.


The bus pulled up to the Rock, as it usually did when they returned home from a competition. Payson squinted through the tinted windows and saw her entire family standing by their car waiting for her. She sighed, happy to see them, but regret twisted in her chest. How was she going to lie to them about what happened with Sasha. Even if they never asked her, even if it never came up, it would be a gigantic lie of omission. She hated lying, just in general and lying to her family was the worst.

She still felt guilty for lying about the cortisone before Nationals and that was nearly two years ago.

"Hey Pay," her mom said, as she approached, rolling her suitcase behind her.

"Hi Mom," she said, falling into her open arms.

"Hey sweetie," her dad said, leaning into the hug as well, kissing the top of her head.

"Ladies, before you go," Sasha called out and everyone turned to face him. As his voice echoed out over the parking lot, her mom's hug tightened for a second before she leg go. "Fantastic job this weekend. We just showed the entire gymnastics community that our team here at the Rock is world class all the way through our ranks. Take tomorrow off and rest your bodies. I expect you all back here on Tuesday morning at 6, ready to work."

Payson thought of her medals, three gold and one silver, zipped in the front pocket of her luggage. Ignoring all the drama of the weekend and focusing on the gymnastics, it was definitely possible that every single member of the Olympic team this year would come from the Rock. Of course a lot could happen between that moment and the Olympic Trials.

On the way home they stopped at a friend of Becca's to drop her sister off for a sleepover. Payson was a little disappointed. She was looking forward to being with her family tonight. The novelty still hadn't worn off after her dad spent so much time away from them.

"How was the hotel?" her mom asked as they moved into the house.

"It was nice," Payson said, shrugging. Her surroundings never really registered much, one way or the other, when she was competing.

She narrowed her eyes at her parents as they both stood blocking the entrance to the hallway.

"There's something we want to talk to you about, Pay," her dad finally said.

She laughed. "Obviously," she said, raising her eyebrows.

Following them into the kitchen, they all sat down around the table. Payson stared at her parents, waiting for them to speak, but they stayed silent.

"You guys are starting to scare me," she said.

"We have to ask you a question, Payson and I need you to be completely honest with us."

"We know what happened with Sasha, that kiss," her father said, "we know that was just a mistake, Payson."

Payson nodded sharply. "Of course it was a mistake," she said, laughing nervously. "It was just a stupid…moment."

Her mom reached for her dad's hand on the table, squeezing lightly, like Sasha had squeezed her hand on the plane. The skin across her palm tingled remembering the touch.

"Payson, what we want to ask you," her mom said, struggling with each word, "is…"

"Payson," her dad cut in, "do you still have feelings for Sasha that are more than…"

"Appropriate?" she finished for him. Her parents were more observant than she gave them credit for, she thought as her mind divided itself, half relief, half panic.

"Yes," her mom said, "appropriate."

She looked away, staring at the chalkboard mounted on the wall behind their kitchen table with stupid little messages she and Becca doodled, a shopping list for the week, their gym schedules.

Her dad broke into the silence. "Payson, it's…"

"Yes." She wanted to stand up and stomp out of the room. She wanted to call her parents ridiculous, but she couldn't do that. They were right.

"What?" her mom asked, her brow furrowing.

"Yes, my feelings for him aren't appropriate." She felt a pang in her chest at even saying the words out loud. They didn't feel inappropriate. Everything she felt with Sasha felt right.

"Payson…"

"Sasha saved my life," she said, cutting off her dad. "He saved me and I…I can't help feeling this way about him."

"Payson, just because he…you're not obligated to…"

It seemed no one was really capable of saying the words out loud. Once they said the words, like love and want, there wouldn't be any taking them back.

"I don't, feel obligated," she said, quietly.

"What do you feel?" her mom asked.

"It's not…it's not much different than what I felt before," she said, waving her hand vaguely in the air. "It's just, more. I feel more."

Silence reigned for a moment and then two, until the tension built thick and heavy in the air.

"Does he feel the same?" her dad asked, though it didn't really sound like a question.

Payson hesitated. She couldn't tell them. They would freak out. They would hate Sasha, forever. She couldn't risk that.

"It doesn't matter," she said, "it doesn't matter what he feels or what I feel because we can't be together."

What happened in Vegas, as cliché as it was, had to stay in Vegas.

"None of it matters," she finished.

"Of course it matters, sweetie," her mom said, reaching across the table for her hand.

"No, it doesn't," she said, pulling her hands away, dropping them into her lap and twisting her fingers together. "It doesn't matter and it never will."

Payson couldn't take it anymore. She stood from the table and left the room grateful her parents let her go. The sobs built in her throat as she pulled her phone from her pocket and typed out a message. It was cowardly, but she couldn't say it to his face. It might kill her.

We can't do this. I'm sorry. Please forgive me.

She waited, the tears blurring her vision. She let them fall as the phone buzzed in her hand.

There's nothing to forgive.

It was over, before it ever really began. She closed her eyes, remembering the feeling of his lips on hers, the calloused pads of his fingertips against her skin, the way it felt to lay in his arms. That's all she would have, memories and they would have to sustain her, maybe forever.