After watching Shadowhunters and reading the novels, Magnus' backstory and his unforgiveness of himself to love but still love wholeheartly was intriguing to me. This story is from his POV as he contemplates love and his past lovers including camille and Alec.

Dating has been compared to a game, a sport, a hunt, a dance, and it is all of things most of the time. This time, it was more like skydiving without a parachute.

They say dating is like a game, a sport, a hunt, a dance, it is all of these things most of the time. As an immortal time is irrelevant. You never have to worry that you won't have enough time to try or do something. The world is in fact your oyster and time goes on while you are frozen. This is probably why many take on the aspect of lovers throughout their years. To the outside we look as if we are having the time of our lives. Alcohol, parties, lovers, traveling, it all becomes a dance. While it exhilarates you in the moment the after effect leaves you cold. And in reality, you couldn't even say what made you so happy at the party or with the lover.

When I had met Alexander at the party that faithful night, I could not tell you what I was drinking as it had long since become dull tasting to me. I could not tell you who I was talking to before he crashed in, but I could tell you that the moment I made eye contact with him I knew what they meant by love at first sight.

With Camille it was a game. A sport. A power tripe. I knew she was powerful amongst the vampires, just as I was powerful amongst the warlocks. Love did horribly amazing things. With her, I thought it was love. She thought it was a personal advantage. One could think it was a little of both, and a lot of neither. Camille, while I see now was not what I deserved, she did love me in her own way that allowed me to feel whole… even for the fleet of moments. And when our time came to end, I did so with the idea that I never wanted to experience such heartache again. Some would call me ignorant to believe that was ever possible. Hmm, maybe I was still hopeful, like a blushing virgin that we could part without issue. It was after this that I steeled myself away from love, from romance and the ever possible idea someone could love me or I them. Not until HE crashed into me that night.

When he didn't take my advances like others in the past have, I was intrigued. When he swore, we would not be a possibility, I was hooked. When he looked at me, and said I was worth it, I caved. For love is a dance, a sport, a hunt and one of the most indescribable feelings in the universe.