429A/N L-Sfarmwmn has graciously given me permission to use her OC Scott from "Hot and Bothered" for this chapter. I'd like to say he won't be damaged but that's a big fib.
Asking for a Friend by Debra8652
Chapter 30 (reference made to Chapters 36, 37, and 38 of Even the Pup is an Unmentionable where Ranger does and says some very out of character things under the influence of Flexeril)
New Rangeman Scott's POV
Hey, it's Scott. I just turned 22 and don't look a day over 16. I did my three years in the Army as a logistics specialist and applied for employment at Rangeman a week after I got out. I also specialize in bodyguarding, which helped me get hired at Rangeman. I was born and raised in Elizabeth, New Jersey, and my parents and two sisters still live there. My older sister is married with two kids and my younger sister is a junior at Rutgers.
You probably already know about my third day on the job at Rangeman when I was assigned to shadow Stephanie and she ended up babysitting her Grandma Mazur at a visitation. My Rangeman colleagues even gave me a black t-shirt with 'Pi, Lambda, Upsilon, Mu' on the front and 'Security' on the back for my new Plum duties. After the visitation, Grandma Mazur fed the three of us chocolate cake that came from her friend Miriam Bell, who got it from her neighbor. The cake turned out to be laced with pot.
The next thing I remember is being very hungry and scavenging for food in the Plum family refrigerator, followed by complaining to my boss-of-three-days about the disgustingly healthy food served at Rangeman. I vaguely remember going through a fast food drive-up with Tank and Bobby Brown for French fries and a Frosty on the way back to Rangeman. After that I was confined to an isolation room in Bobby Brown's infirmary for the rest of the day. Lester Santos even printed up a certificate for my cubicle stating that I became the first employee to cause the Rangeman employees' manual to be changed after only three days of employment. The rule change states that Rangeman employees cannot accept food or drink from Edna Mazur. I don't know how that applies to Stephanie as she is related to Edna and they eat together often. At least I'm still employed.
Since I am still on new employee probation I am restricted to shadowing Stephanie, monitor duty, surveillance and patrols. With my background in logistics and new residential and business customers coming on board, I will be updating patrol routes frequently. I was partnered with Vince for an overnight patrol when a store alarm went off around midnight. We were the closest team and responded in time to apprehend two teenagers in the store's parking lot. Brett and Binkie arrived two minutes later and hauled them off to the cop shop. In tackling one of the teenagers, I managed to cut the side of my left hand on some broken glass so Vince called ahead and Bobby met us in the garage while Woody finished my shift with Vince. Bobby cleaned the glass out of my hand, stitched it up, and gave me a tetanus booster and an antibiotic. So far, I've spent a disproportionate amount of my employment with Bobby Brown - Santos even put my name over one of the beds in the Infirmary.
After three weeks, I had a full weekend off and went home to visit my family. My niece and nephew both had some sort of upper respiratory thing going on and by Tuesday, I was feeling pretty rough. Tank had me report to my bff Bobby Brown, who took samples of blood and urine and went into his lab next door. He opened the door and told me, as he'd suspected and prepared for, that I had an elevated white count and to grab one of the pills out of the bottle on his desk and he'd be right out as soon as he recorded my lab results and washed up. Still being in soldier mode, I got a cup of water from the water cooler and swallowed one of the yellow pills.
By the time he came back into the room a few minutes later, I was feeling decidedly loopy and was starting to Slinky myself off the exam table. He grabbed me by the shoulders before I fell off and asked what I'd taken. I told him the pill was yellow and pointed to the bottle on his desk. I swear to God, he rolled his eyes and said I'd taken one of the Flexeril that he'd taken away from Ranger instead of the antibiotics on the other side of his desk. He got me situated in an Infirmary bed for my own protection. I've been diligently counting the ceiling tiles but keep losing track after eleventy-twelve.
So I have to wonder - am I going to spend the majority of my Rangeman career in the Infirmary? Asking for a friend.
A/N My thanks to L-Sfarmwmn for the use of her OC Scott. He is being returned to you, only a little worse for wear. She is the author of three wonderful Janet Evanovich fanfiction stories - "Hot and Bothered", "Blindsided", and "Making Waves".