8After the initial excitement, it all eventually boiled down into yet another bout of tense boredom, much to my and everyone else's chagrin. I'm not particularly worried about submarines, not within such a deathtrap of an area, but if an aircraft were to, for some godforsaken reason, shut their engine off and silently strafe onto me, I want to be ready to listen for its swoops of air.
In a tiny fit of curiosity, I leaned forward and began pushing, one foot to the other, paddling them as if I was actually ice skating. To my great surprise, there was some sort of physical feedback, and I could just about tell that I was gaining even further speed.
For some odd reason and logic, though, I could also feel my boilers pushing past its maximum rated speed, somehow flushing through 150% fuel consumption just to achieve a few extra knots, topping at 39.
I only kept the speed for a few minutes, partly because it's wasteful, but mostly because I had arrived at a small beachfront where I could start walking and cross the patch of island to the other side, where I could just sail straight through Jellyfish Lake.
Unlike the previous few times, I called off the general quarters while I walked. The slope wasn't too steep, and there really shouldn't be any enemy around here, at least on this specific random part of Ngeruktabel.
It would only be for a few minutes, but it should improve morale… does fairy crew morale even affect my own operations? Like, as the captain of me, should I be thinking of them like a part of my own body, or do I think of them more as a more literal ship crew? Would me physically eating raise morale too, or will it somehow like, I dunno, replenish my stores or something?
I shook my head and scoffed. Of course, everytime there's even a few seconds to think, more vague and unanswerable questions pop up.
Really wishing I never left for the hospital, right now…
"Desu?" the camera fairy on top of me called.
Oh right, I haven't even dismissed her. With a mental flex, I made her pack up her camera and dive back into my metaphysical deck, and there I had to pause as another thought occured: how does "being my crew" even work?
I thought of turning my front turret, from a few turns to a full rotation, and there the gunner fairy went, turning my turrets as I requested. I focused on giving firstly all of my crew, then a few select fairies the old "testing, one two three", and each one unfailingly responded.
Do they consciously know that that's me directing them, or are their consciousness somehow linked to mine? I mean, there should be a connection somewhere, considering they can hear it if I consciously willed myself to talk to them.
Man, I'm going crazy with all this PhD-tier bullshit that I can't effectively test right away. I need a distraction.
Unlike my actual fairy crews, both Fairy and Samidare seem to be sorta-kinda detached from that direct chain of command, so I instructed the camera fairy to call them "out". Not a moment later, there they were on my shoulders.
"Hey, you two, where do y'all suggest we go from here?" I asked.
"(Just anywhere out of this place, preferably somewhere safe with a lot of military and political presence,)" Fairy said simply with a shrug. "(I'll follow where you want to go, Orin, provided it's not a stupid destination like Colonia or Guam.)" She hit Samidare's arm lightly. "(And you, Sami-)"
"(Japan!)" Samidare said quickly, before she noticed how she cut Fairy off. "(S- sorry. I mean, I'd rather go to Japan. It's where I was built, after all…)" She tapped her fingers together. "(I really want to know what becomes of Japan, both whether The Abyss is attacking them too, and how they have advanced throughout the years.)"
"Japan, huh…" I trailed off with a thumb on my chin.
It's not a bad idea, really. I've always wanted to go and see Japan for myself, though having the real me on board might be a problem. If I can, I should later find ways to release myself from this fairy command.
"Maybe if it's all sorted out, we can go and visit Japan. Hell, I might be able to return this ship, and subsequently you, to the Japanese government."
"(A- admiral?!)" Samidare exclaimed, almost as if affronted.
"But before then, I'm going back to Indonesia."
"(Indonesia?)" Samidare suddenly asked. "(Why Indonesia, admiral?)"
My eyebrows furrowed. "Did I not tell you two before? I'm Indonesian, despite my vague Chinese looks."
Fairy shook her head. "(That explains why you're unable to speak Japanese, at least. I was thinking that it's weird you can't,)" she said simply.
Samidare's mouth formed an o. "(I- I had guessed that you're not Japanese, admiral, but… I was thinking another East Asian descent, like Korea or Manchu, and not Indonesia of all places.)"
"Yeah, well, my ancestors were all Chinese." My fingers absentmindedly reached to pat her head. "I'm sorry, Samidare, but I'd imagine that you, as a Japanese ship, wouldn't like to have an Indonesian captain, much less admiral-"
She quickly threw my finger away and poked at my cheek quite deeply, stopping me from my speech.
I was greeted with two teary eyes, but there was a flame behind them. "(Please, don't say that. You're the one that summoned me, along with Mega- Fairy. I can't answer to Fairy since she's of the same rank as me, so at the very least, I have to answer to you.)"
"Yes, but like… why? Why me? I'm sorry for asking, but don't you want control back of your…self?"
Samidare looked down, ears warm and red as she blushed. "(Well… I… Maybe it's a quirk of this whole situation, but I strongly feel like it's proper to answer to whoever summons me. I don't like not being in Japan in her potential time of need, but somehow, the idea of leaving your command doesn't sit right with me. Please, Admiral Orin, let me be under your command, at least until I'm able to sort this out?)" She looked up at me, our eyes meeting as I saw the twinge of desperation in hers.
My face scrunched even more, but in the end I could do nothing but give her a pat with my gloved fingers. She genuinely seems afraid of me leaving her, and goddamnit, I don't have the heart to kick this particular little puppy away.
Well, at the very least, company within these uncertain times is always appreciated, and I'd be lying if I say I don't want to keep this shipgirl body as long as I can. Just imagine the papers and theses I could write! The potential Nobel Prize, even!
"Well, if that's what you want, we'll see if the Japanese government will let you stay under my care. Still though, I have a whole lot to learn in this whole captaining and admiralty business, so… please take care of me?"
Samidare gasped in joy, and hugged my head for a second. "(Hai, teitoku!)"
=====A=====
Sunlight barely lapped on the furthest clouds when I finally arrived at the small dock just before Jellyfish Lake. It was as bit as picturesque as a sight from Palau could've been, and I made sure my camera fairy caught it.
The area surrounding the dock was pockmarked with evident shelling, with the floating platform itself detached some ways on another beach entirely. Otherwise though, it was left untouched, as in no overt craters nor trails of abyssal monsters dragging its lumbering body up to shore.
Maybe abyssal aircraft just quickly shot up the place as they passed? I wouldn't know.
As I looked around the place for a bit, a lump slowly formed in my throat. There really wasn't any submarine parked outside the place, which means my family either left, or never made it here in the first place.
The sonar I got reminded me that maybe, on some bitter chance, they sank somewhere near. Since I can't read sonar just yet, I had some crew fairies tell me the ins and outs of what it's reading, but there really weren't any huge bulky metal tubes anywhere half a kilometer out of the dock. For good measure, I dispatched some diver fairies to look underwater, but they only confirmed the same answer.
With both disappointment and a ray of hope, I climbed up the remnants of the dock and set up a recon group to keep watch over the perimeter and alert me in case something approaches.
With that done, now there's nothing but me, and the almost perfectly preserved stairs leading towards the lake. I took a deep breath, summoned my guns just in case, and began walking up it.
The grip on my guns tightened with each step I took. I couldn't stop my mind running wildly, thinking of worst case scenarios, like my parents lying dead on the ground just beyond the small hill, or an ambush I couldn't see just waiting to happen.
I'd be lying if I say this was equally as underwhelming as most of the journey. This was it, after all, the very place I had set out to close my search. I'll find my family, or I won't; whatever the outcome, I'd have to accept, even if it ain't satisfactory. It's my final stop before I'll seriously decide on what to do next.
I reached the top of the hill, and sure enough, there were a few tents set up, a little bit more than enough to accommodate my whole vacation group.
Most of the tents were either still folded or dirty, but to my surprise, two of them were actually clean. Their front entrances were open, but no leaves nor dirt were inside the tent at all. They were placed in front of each other, facing a still-smoking campfire, where an open pot of steaming soup hung, and a few eating utensils laid dirty, obviously just after use. Clotheslines were set up, although they held no more than used towels with damp patches which more specifically resemble that of a person drying off, as opposed to natural reasons like rain or dew.
Bitter unease grew as I looked around the place. I could just feel that there's something out there, beyond the trees and bushes. The gazes of unseen, hidden watchers pinpricked on the back of my mind, yet my sweeping eyes found nothing but greens and browns.
Not wanting to risk potential abyssal presence, I brought in the big guns. Relaying commands from fairies to fairies, I had Samidare and Fairy both pop out into the physical world, standing on top of my head with binoculars in their grasp.
I winced as the noise of opening hatches temporarily drowned the utter silence, and if I wasn't as paranoid, I'd swear I heard a gasp somewhere out there in the jungles.
"People have been here, and they're certainly around," I whispered to them. "Keep watch while I act oblivious. If they're people, tap my head slowly until I nod. If they're abyssals, say the direction and quickly dive back in."
They didn't say a word, but the slight shift in their movement was indicative enough of their nods.
I continued walking through the campsite, and down into the lip of the lake. There was a ransacked outpost of sorts, complete with a floating platform extending a few meters into the lake, both structurally intact and undisturbed.
I could just about imagine me and my family standing around, fitting our diving gears in preparation for some jellyfish sightseeing. It was all I could've wanted, now outside of the realms of possibility, partly because I don't want to test whether diving would drown my fairy crews.
I turned back to the stairs, only to see something moving just in the corner of my eyes. All three of us turned as a small rock tumbled from way out of the trees, rolling to a stop just directly under my feet.
Just when I realized that it wasn't any regular rock, but an actual distraction, it was already too late. Something clicked behind me, followed by something tubular touching the back of my head. The entity, definitely a he, spoke in rapid-fire native Palauan that I couldn't follow by even an inch.
It took all of me to snap past the panic and notice Fairy and Samidare kicking my head. Stopping the guns I very nearly summoned just around my mental foregrounds, I slowly lifted my hands as I spoke, "E- English, please?"
The man behind me took a sudden, sharp breath, but he recovered quickly. "Don't turn around. What are you, who are you, and what do you want?"
"I'm… a warship, metaphysically at least?" Damn, that's not scoring any points at all! "As for who, I uhh… the Japanese destroyer Samidare, from World War 2! My goal here is to find a submarine that came from Koror."
"And what, pray tell, are you going to do with that submarine?" The man asked. I gulped as he reminded me of my position by bumping the barrel of his gun to my head, but his words struck a deep, hidden resonant chord in my mind.
The gates of hell I didn't even realize exist opened tall and wide inside my heart. Veins popped on my forehead as my breath hitched in a fury-induced chest clenching.
Several days had I been chasing. So close to an answer, yet still so far to their persons. I'm this freaking close to just squeezing the answer out of this dude, metaphorically and literally. And he's actually asking me WHAT?!
It was a stupid reason to blow up, but all my frustrations, anger, irritation, and exhaustion finally came to a head. His question was the straw that broke the camel's back. My arm shook in its socket, biceps tensing to summon my guns, whip back towards him, and blow his head up for good, nevermind the fucking consequences…
…and everything blew in one, tiny, unfulfilling sigh as I realized that he's right. I had been focused so much on the means, I didn't even think about the ends.
What, exactly, am I going to do if I find my family, and in extension, the submarine?
Obviously I'd find out whether my family's on board, but then what? Should I let my family go out and seek safety while I continue my doing here until I'm confident to sail out on my own? Should I follow wherever they're going as an escort of sorts? Or should I take my parents on board myself and sprint back home?
But what if my family isn't even there? Should I let the submarine go, or should I offer escort regardless? I mean, I don't particularly care about them, sorry, but I won't be able to forgive myself if they suddenly died of something I should've been able to prevent.
Hell, what about the whole "I'm a ship now" thing, and how am I going to explain it to them? Would they even trust me? Would they even accept my help, or hell, me, at all?
Oh God, out of all the things I could've forgotten to prepare-
A tap of cold steel to my spine sent me back to the real world. "Well?"
In a desperate attempt, I turned towards the two fairies standing atop my head, only to be met with two confused and disapproving stares.
I took a deep, resigned breath, and just honestly said, "I wanted to know if several certain passengers were there, and potentially offer my escort back to safe waters, even if I'm just a single destroyer. Do you, by chance, know where they went?"
"I know, but I'm not telling you where they go. Now, keep facing forward, and-"
"Wait, please, I- I need to know," I cut him off quickly. "Were there three Chinese-looking people among the passengers? How are their conditions? Do you think they're going to find their way to safety?"
"Specific, aren't we?"
The following silence was rather telling that he might not answer at all. Suddenly, his shoes crunched soft leaves as he approached me slightly, and, instead of answering, passed a small piece of photo paper instead. "I'm going to trust you by showing this. You'll show your cooperation by returning it back to me, and leaving without any more questions."
His voice already faded out into the background, replaced with the sound of rushing oil within my boilers as I saw what the photo was. It was taken from a modern polaroid, with its date showing either yesterday or two days before. A yellow painted submarine hugged by the illustration of a cartoon octopus was in the background of the photo, looking as mint as the day it was photographed for the vacation brochure.
Standing on its deck were a group of people preparing to paint it deep blue, from police officers to people with military uniforms, to regular civilians. Within them were three distinct people: a short, indistinct East Asian boy standing in the middle of a tall, Austronesian man and a nondescript Chinese lady. The boy looked pretty much similar to me, with him himself looking like a mix of his parents.
"Are they…" My voice faltered as I spoke. "Are they safe?"
"They will be, if you don't interfere," the man said simply, and that's where my fuse ran out.
Who the fuck is he to say something like that?
I took the chance and took a sneak peek behind my shoulder, disregarding his words altogether, and found myself face to face with a buff-built nondescript Pacific islander in a dirty US Coast Guard dress blues. His face was right there in the photo, along with several other USCG members. His grip upon his shotgun tightened when I did the one thing he didn't want me to, but didn't shoot just yet.
The photo shook in my trembling hands. I might not have outright found the very people I had been looking for, but now I know they're still very much alive and smiling, and not currently in danger. If he's not lying, and he doesn't seem like it, there should be proper trained people on board, and their safety should be… well, not exactly assured, but they should have a good chance of surviving.
A drop of tear rolled down the photo, and I quickly wiped it so as to not ruin it. I just… how do I respond to this? I won't be able to find them in the vastness of the sea, and he didn't seem like he's going to answer any more questions as well, especially about the whereabouts of the submarine.
Still, they were alive, and they're most likely in safe hands.
It's not the best I could've asked for, but it's damn near the top.
I had my camera fairy take a photo of the photo, returned it back to him, and left without a word.
Down the stairs, and back to the bay, sailing east out of Mecherchar, towards Peleliu, goosebumps standing the whole time.
=====A=====
I only came back to myself after I found myself speeding halfway to Peleliu. We had considered stopping at Carp Island, but decided against it as the seas were still fully clear of abyssals. The fishing sonar was active and in my hands, clutched tightly by whitening fingers under my black gloves. The glow of its screen stopped being a problem with the sky lighting up from a beautiful sunrise.
First thing I did was call Fairy and Samidare upwards to the real world. They came out on top of a whole ass rigging arm holding my forward main guns, looking much more similar to their actual shape instead of their handgun forms.
I just raised an eyebrow. "Another experiment?"
Fairy just shrugged, while Samidare nodded while furiously rubbing the back of her neck.
I opened my mouth to say something, but the words died in my throat. I just settled for staring out to the sea, where nothing really stood out. The forces of the Abyss were still clogged within Koror, and there weren't any submarines as far as the sonar could see.
The two fairies were content with waiting for me to speak. Eventually, I did. "So… Peleliu. We'll get ourselves some proper ship sonar and hydrophones, possible upgrades, then we'll get outta dodge. Is there anything else you two want to add?"
Samidare nodded. "Admiral, I… I just want to make sure: are you okay?"
Sudden angina struck my heart, and I bit my lips. "I, yeah? Why wouldn't I be? I got what I wanted, now it's my turn to fulfill our escape."
"Bullshit. Orin, I mean no offense, but you look severely unsatisfied," Fairy chimed in, hitting that bullseye in one painful jab.
I wanted to refute it further, but I hadn't got enough mental energy to do so, not anymore. "Yeah, yeah I am," I said, leaving it at that.
They left me alone after that, just watching the rising dawn with me. I appreciated them not pushing it further, but the silence was palpable. It gnawed inside me more and more, feeding on that itch where I just want to break down and cry, letting everything out in one fluid scream.
In the end, that desire won, even if just slightly.
"Well, it's not that I'm unsatisfied," I started talking, prompting the two fairies to turn back to me. "It's more that… how do I put this… it was all just so underwhelming. I don't even know what I expected, but…" I sighed, "...I just feel like after everything that happened, the reveal would be a bit more grand or something."
"Am I right to guess that you're disappointed?" Fairy asked.
"No! I'm not!" I sobbed slightly. "No, yeah. I really am disappointed, and that's the problem! I feel like a bad person for feeling like I'd rather see them firsthand dead or alive, instead of some third person's testimony that they're alive and kicking. I know it's just my selfish desires and all, but… man, I dunno."
"I just feel like I need more time to digest all this," I finally admitted.
"Admiral, we'll have some time when we arrive in Peleliu. You don't have to get through it all that quickly," Samidare said. "And even then, we'll have even more time once we're in safe waters."
"Better yet, if you really need to, get back to the bridge and spend some time in your cabin. We can take over from here," Fairy offered.
"Don't you two can't see outside? How will you even do that?"
"Admiral, the ship is currently sailing on water. Sorry if I sound arrogant, admiral, but just like how you're able to lead our special overland operations, we're able to serve in naval operations just fine," Samidare explained.
The thought of me not having to sit through wet splashes of salty water for much longer was too enticing for me to argue further. The view from the Japanese ship bridge greeted me as I switched back to my real body.
Fairy and Samidare quickly entered. I nodded to them, and they nodded back, going to their respective positions to man the various instruments.
For once, I felt like I was well and truly released from responsibility, even for just a bit. With one weight removed, however, another took its place; the days caught up to me, with phantom aches panging and stabbing all over me even if I appeared fine externally. A weight settled upon my back as if all my muscles took a lactate bath, and the simple walk towards my cabin felt like the sickly march back at Koror.
I trudged into my personal quarters and opened the door. The smell of fresh sheets just bursted into my nostrils, and my exhaustion doubled. Whatever else the day has to offer be damned; I've been denied rest for a few times, and this time, I intend to take five, as in five hours.
I turned towards the duo one last time. "If I'm not awake by the time we're there, will it be possible for you two to find a good hiding spot for the ship? I'm going to take some time."
Samidare just saluted, but Fairy seemed strangely happy. "About time! You can count on us, Orin, remember that." She turned back towards the view outside. "Freedom, ikuzo! One knot at a time," she muttered, a dumb grin plastered on her face.
I just shook my head and entered my quarters, shutting the door, and crashed into the narrow bed, letting myself be well and truly alone for the first time since the whole shitshow happened.
Various thoughts swirled in my mind, incoherent and incognizant as they freely mixed and matched with nary an inhibition. Without the need to focus, I was able to finally let my mind truly run wild.
The thoughts were too much to separate, but the emotions they harbor were not. Sad, angry, anxious, confused, nervous, relieved, happy, tired, and many more periodically switched inside my heart, as I let my pillow be collateral for everything that I expressed.
Under all of them, however, was the tiny unchanging feeling of hope.
My family is hopefully safe, and the only thing I can do for them is pray, hope, and wait. They're a non factor now, which means I can focus solely on myself.
There's a whole ass load in my growing mental list of stuff to do, like getting myself hydrophobes, learning how to "ship", and unlocking the secrets of my shipgirl body, not to mention further goals like actually getting back home and living long enough to find out the fate of my family. Mark my words, me, I'll finish that damn list, with flying colours and straight As.
Fairy, maybe Samidare too, and most definitely my family… I owe it to them all to give my 110% and get us the fuck out of here. One way or another, tomorrow or a year from now, come hell or high water, in a certain eventuality, we'll get back to safe harbour, in human-controlled waters, where we, as people, truly belong.
A determined grin grew on my face, even as I sunk deeper into my bed. Even with my body feeling the most tired it had ever been, my mind was in a flurry of activity, planning for both the near and far future.
I have not come this far to die now.
Let's do this!
=====A=====
=====CLOSING NOTES=====
Thank you for reading. If you noticed a sudden drop in quality around half to three-fourths of the story, it's because I kind of lost steam somewhere around that point of writing. I had to rework several chapters twice to fit my vision on how the story should go better, and in the end, I was left with a massive writer's block before I was able to finish this. I would've left this to rot like my other half-million words worth of fanfictions and original fictions, but I really, REALLY wanted to release this out there, somewhere, so I kind of forced myself to write regardless. If it showed, I'm sorry.
Also, I'm sorry that I can't promise anything about a sequel, even though I ended the story here precisely to allow for a second part. I'm just utterly and completely burnt out, and if I were to write anything after this, it would either be an abyssal-based story, or a fanfic for another title/fandom entirely.