5This is not the man she met, Lucy keeps thinking, and it makes her laugh out loud which makes everyone – the nurses, the doctors, and Tim himself - quirk their eyebrows and shoot questioning glances at her. But who would judge a woman in labor for their coping strategies? So, no one says anything to her about it.
She just keeps thinking back to the Tim Bradford she met – training officer Tim Bradford who was broody and angry and in one of the darkest periods of his life (of the handful of which she has come to learn). She never would've been able to imagine this, the man doting around her, asking her if she needs ice chips, fluffing her pillow, holding her hand through contractions, eyes wide with sympathy for her, kissing her gently on the forehead, the hand, her nose.
She remembers the gruff training officer who barked orders at her.
Now he's sitting here backing off when she barks at him and staring at her as if she's the only person in the room, brushing the damp hair off her forehead.
I've been shot! Where are we, boot?
Keep your hands up, Chen! Don't let him get on top of you!
How many times have I told you to keep things out of your gun hand?
If she would have ever even thought to imagine this back then, she would've thought she was absolutely out of her mind.
"Why are you laughing?" he finally asks gently, amused, when he brings her the third cup of ice chips she's asked for.
"I…" she can't help but chuckle again, softly. "I keep having flashbacks to when we first met. I keep remembering you then and then I look at you now and it's like…" she starts laughing again.
This time, though, he joins in with her laughter with a soft chuckle. "Like you never could've imagined we'd be here," he supplies.
"Yeah," she says with a chuckle. Then her look sobers. "And then there was another time that I…"
"Thought this was all gone," he supplies softly and she nods, noticing the pang of guilt that flashes across his face, that always does when he thinks about that time. They've moved so far past their time apart now, but she knows he'll always feel guilty about what he did to them, even though she's long since forgiven him for it. In fact, she knows that they're stronger because of it.
She nods, but then a contraction hits her and she closes her eyes to breathe through it, feeling his hand grasping hers.
"You got it," he comforts her, watching the monitor. "It's almost done."
"Mmm," she mumbles when she feels the relief as the contraction passes. "And this isn't even the worst part yet."
"Hi, Lucy!" her doctor pushes into the room. "How we doing? Let's check how dilated you are."
"I've been better," she mumbles, and her doctor chuckles.
"Looks like you're about six centimeters," the doctor tells her. "We've got a bit of time to go.'
"Fantastic," Lucy deadpans.
The doctor nods her understanding. "I'll be back in a bit. Try and relax. I know it's easier said than done." Lucy nods as the doctor hurries off to her next patient.
"Here, stand up," Tim says and Lucy eyes him suspiciously.
"As if that's so easy," she retorts.
"Trust me. Stand up and lean over, let me massage your back."
"Have you been Googling more massages?" she teases and Tim rolls his eyes.
"Lucy. Up."
She nods, accepting the hand he holds out to her as he helps her get into position before gently massaging her. "That feels good, actually."
"Mmhmm. Relax," he tells her softly.
"I hope you like this baby, because this is the last one that we're having," Lucy snarks.
"Okay," Tim placates.
"And I hope you enjoyed the sex, because you're never touching me again."
"Okay."
"I feel like either you're not taking me seriously or our sex life leaves a lot to be desired."
Tim chuckles and Lucy sighs as his fingers massage her back. "You know it's not the latter." She lets out a laugh. "Let's talk in a couple of months."
"When you think I'll have forgotten all this?"
The debate is cut short when a contraction hits and she moans through the pain.
"You got this, baby," he comforts softly as he continues to massage her back through it.
"Oh god it hurts."
"It's getting stronger, but you're in control. Breathe." She nods, follows his lead as he breathes with her, his voice and presence soothing her. "It's fading. It's almost over."
Lucy lets out a sigh as the feeling passes, temporary relief flooding her. "You're pretty good at this."
"Yeah, so are you. You're doing so good, baby."
The hours wear on. When it's calm, Lucy can hear the woman across the hall arguing with her partner constantly because he's on his phone, to which he snarks back that there's nothing else to do.
"Hey, let's play a game," Tim says and Lucy blinks at him as she hears the woman across the hall groan at her partner and she marvels at the contradiction.
"A game?" He holds up a deck of cards and she grins. "Don't go easy on me just because I'm in labor."
"You know I would never," he mocks outrage and she laughs, signaling for him to come near, but as they play she has a sneaking suspicion that he's going easy on her, anyway.
He distracts her with recalling their most memorable stories on patrol, laughing about the strangest calls they'd ever taken.
He plays cards with her (and picks up all the cards off the floor after she sends them flying during a contraction).
He humors her by taking quizzes in a magazine.
He provides colorful commentary to everything they watch on the TV.
She figures this could have been a lot worse, if he hadn't been so attentive and so good at distracting her.
When her doctor returns and finally tells her that it's time to start pushing, she feels a rush of excitement, relief, and fear.
"You got this," Tim tells her, already clocking her nerves. "You're so close, you're almost there. You can do this."
"I'm scared," she admits softly.
"I know. I'll be there the whole time. Feel free to hit me, yell at me, whatever you need."
This makes her laugh. "God, how I would've loved to have heard those words my first day as a rookie."
He grins and kisses her on her forehead.
"This is it," he realizes, brushing his hand over Lucy's forehead. "Since that first moment I saw you in the roll call room it's always been the two of us. Partners."
She nods in understanding. "Someone else is about to join our journey with us."
"Yeah," he says softly, a look of amazement lacing his features.
After she starts pushing, fortunately, it doesn't take much longer. Lucy focuses all her attention on the fact that it's almost over, they're so close to meeting their daughter, and then it will all be worth it. Tim is by her side the whole time coaching her, comforting her, reassuring her.
"We're almost there," the doctor finally informs them. "Another push or two and we'll be done. Dad, do you want to look?"
Tim stops, startled, for more than one reason.
It's the first time anyone has called him Dad like that.
Second, he has absolutely no idea if he should look. He turns to look at Lucy in fear, looking for her opinion and she shrugs.
"I mean, I think modesty officially went out the window a while ago, so… do as you please"
"I…" he hesitates. He looks from Lucy to the doctor again as Lucy groans in pain of the next contraction and in that moment, he realizes he will never again have the opportunity to see his first child come into the world so he adjusts himself to look, never letting go of Lucy's hand or the leg he's holding. She bears down one last time and it all happens in a split second - their daughter comes screaming into the world, loud and pink and perfect.
"It's a girl!" the doctor says, holding the tiny, squirming baby up and Lucy bursts into tears. "There she is, Mommy and Daddy!"
Her life changes in that instant, in the way they always say it does, but you can't really imagine until it happens to you. She knows she'll never forget it. Despite the exhaustion, the adrenaline, the pain - the moment imprints on her mind. The first glimpse of this child that she's felt inside her, this person that she and Tim created, the person who was meant to be despite all the hardships they'd gone through. The way Tim's hand squeezes hers so lovingly the moment they both set eyes on their daughter. The way the doctor calls them Mommy and Daddy. The soft, amazed "Lucy" that Tim exhales in awe.
"Oh my God," she says, clutching Tim's hand tightly. "Oh my God, she's… she's…"
He laughs, kisses her on the head. "I know."
"She's so small."
"She's perfect," he tells her and Lucy nods in agreement.
They place her on Lucy's chest and she has to let go of Tim's hand, finally, and it amazes her how this little person she's never met is so familiar to her. She's settled a bit, the wailing calm for the time being, and she takes her in.
"Can you believe this?" she asks Tim, looking to him in awe, only to see him already looking at her, tears in his eyes.
"She's amazing," he breathes. "You're amazing," he adds, kissing her on the head. "I've never seen something so incredible in my life. I've never been part of something so incredible. I mean, maybe just a small part but..."
She lets out a little laugh. "You're a big part of this."
"You okay?" he asks her and Lucy nods, her heart filling with love. Love for this child they just brought into the world, love for this man who is always going to make sure she's okay - who always has.
"Yeah," she says.
They watch their daughter for a few moments when Lucy breathes out a breath and turns to Tim. "Everything led us here, you know? Everything," she says softly and she knows he understands she's talking about the bumps in the road, their breakup and their time apart from each other. "If we'd made any choices differently… we wouldn't be here, with her. It wouldn't be her." He lets out a little breath of understanding. "So please, drop the last bit of guilt you're still harboring that I know you are even if you say you're not."
He shakes his head at her in amusement, but she sees his small nod of understanding and agreement. "I love her so much."
Lucy gives a little laugh, amazed at how they can love someone so much after only having just met them. "Me, too."
Tim is in love with another girl.
She can see the look on his face, one she recognizes as a look he's only ever really given her.
She doesn't mind.
She's filled with contentment and warmth that their daughter is going to be on the receiving end of those gazes and that love that she knows all too well.
She's filling out the paperwork for the birth certificate and it's almost hard to believe. There their names are, side by side listed as "mother" and "father." This is new. She's seen their names together on paperwork so many times since the day they met. The daily evaluations that turned into weeklies that eventually turned into emergency contact forms and forms and a deed to a house and a marriage license. And now, below the name of their child, are their names again. Lucy Chen, mother. Timothy Bradford, father. This is it. It's for real. They're parents. They have a daughter. Together. There is a human being that now exists in this world because of them, that they're responsible for, that is part of both of them and she is a living, breathing person with her own name and birth certificate.
She glances back at him, holding the baby, and a small smile curves at her lips as she notes how content he is.
He's going to be an amazing father. She's always known this. And right now, he's falling into the role with ease and joy.
He's been married before; but being a parent is a first for both of them and she's happy this is something that's theirs, that they get to experience for the first time, together. She enjoys that this moment is one he's never had with anyone else.
He looks away from the baby, back to her, and gives her that same look.
"How are you feeling?" he asks.
She returns the smile. "Starting to feel like a human again," she says, clicking the pen and putting the paperwork down. "A sore one, but I have to say – at this point no worse than after a a particularly rough day on the job." Tim chuckles softly, recalling a few days they had taken quite a beating. She shifts a little and adds, "It's amazing how everything hurts. They don't tell you that. Like, the muscles in my arms are sore."
"We can call the nurse. Do you want more pain meds?"
Lucy shakes her head. "I'm okay, for now." She watches him for a few more moments before she opens her mouth to state, "You're in love."
Tim looks up at her. "Yeah," he agrees. He runs a finger over their daughter's tiny hand and then adds, "Twice over. In fact, I think I fell in love with you all over again today."
She melts a little at his words. "It's hard to believe, huh? We just… created her."
"She looks like you," Tim declares.
Lucy snorts a little laugh. "No, she doesn't. She's hours old, she doesn't look like anyone."
Tim looks up at her and catches her glance. "Mark my words. I spent years staring at your profile inside the shop."
She blushes a little but smiles at him. "You were supposed to be looking at the road," she teases.
"Why do you think I never let you drive? I would've given myself away."
"Oh? That was the reason, huh?" She teases as she pats the bed next to her, inviting him over. He looks at her, unsure. "I'm not going to break, Tim. C'mon."
He carefully stands, focus on the baby in his arms, and gingerly lowers both of them down next to Lucy on the bed, careful not to jostle her or get too close. She, however, is having none of it and settles in close to him, admiring their daughter together.
"Look at her fingers," Tim says, tracing one of her tiny fingers with his large one. "Her fingernails are so small. We're supposed to trim them."
"That is absolutely Daddy's job because I am terrified of doing that," Lucy notes with a chuckle.
She expects him to give some kind of retort but instead he just gives a soft, "Okay."
Then he's speaking again. "You know, you've always impressed me. Even as a rookie."
Lucy quirks an eyebrow. "Finally I get you to admit it."
He rolls his eyes playfully. "I mean, you were jumping into dumpsters after suspects while you were still a rookie, you were busting major drug traffickers on your first solo undercover op a year into the job. I've seen you take down and arrest guys while in a robe, jump from one moving vehicle into another to save the life of your dumbass ex-boyfriend…"
"Hey, now, that's the father of my child you're talking about," she teases with a sparkle in her eye, the love and adoration shining through.
"But I don't know that I've ever ever seen anything as amazing as what you did today."
Lucy smiles softly at the praise. "Well, I don't know, it may have looked badass today but when you're helping me use the bathroom tomorrow, not so much."
He laughs. "Gladly."
"And don't think I didn't notice that you called me your partner since the day we met in the roll call room."
Tim grins. "I thought maybe in the haze of pain you didn't notice."
"Believe me, I did."
"You've always been my partner," he says softly. "You saved my life on day two."
"Do we know what we're doing?"
Tim shakes his head. "I think we're officially both rookies now," Tim says softly with a little laugh.
Lucy snorts quietly. "Who's going to train us?"
Tim thinks about it for a moment, lets out a little laugh, raises his eyebrows and tilts his head. "I think she is."
"Aw, our little training officer."
They both laugh and quickly quiet down as the baby stirs, holding fingers to their lips while they hold in their laughter, holding their breath momentarily to see if they've disturbed her. The baby relaxes and they exchange a look, one they can read without words.
They're in it, together.
They're a team.
"We don't keep it down she's gonna give us a blue page," Lucy whispers and Tim laughs as quietly as he can, muffling the sound into Lucy's shoulder which only makes her let out a quiet chuckle of her own.
Partners of the best kind.