79Gintama and One Piece are the intellectual property of Sorachi Hideaki and Eiichiro Oda.
Please Teach Us, Ginpachi-sensei!
Lesson 0.5: Class Transfers are Awkward No Matter What You Do
Classroom 3-Z was abuzz with chatter as students old and new scrambled to find their seats. With a click, the classroom door pulled open as the two teachers walked in, causing the room to go silent.
The first was a man wearing glasses, a white coat, a salmon-pink shirt, a tie sloppily hanging around his neck, and naturally permed silver-blue hair. He stared down the class with his pair of maroon dead fish eyes. This was Sakata Ginpachi-sensei, the homeroom teacher in charge of Class 3-Z.
The second was a beautiful woman with long black hair tied back into a ponytail, also wearing glasses and a white coat with a purple shirt. In contrast to the man next to her, she wore a gentle smile and bright blue eyes. This was Nico Robin-sensei, the homeroom teacher for Class 1-P. As for what she was doing here…
"Good morning, class. Today, you'll notice you have some new neighbors." Ginpachi addressed the class with his usual bored tone speaking around the lollipop in his mouth, which only happened to look like a cigarette because of how fast he was licking it, or some other 4kids explanation bullshit he came up with to avoid pissing off the PTA.
"Well, because some idiot decided to flood Class 1-P, they'll be sharing a classroom with us while they repair the water damage. So for the time being, this class will be jointly taught by myself and Robin-sensei. Everyone, say hello."
"Thank you, Sakata-sensei," Robin said. "I also hope this will serve as a lesson about not playing Pirate Adventure while in the classroom. Isn't that right, Luffy-kun?"
She addressed this question to the only student currently standing in the back of the classroom, Class 1-P representative Monkey D. Luffy. As punishment, he was holding two buckets of water, which wouldn't be so bad for him if it weren't for the large tub of water he was currently being forced to stand in, slowly sapping his strength.
"I'm shorry, shensheiiiiiii." This was all the response the straw hat student could choke out as his punishment continued to suck the life out of him, his head thrown back and tongue hanging loosely from his mouth.
"Robin-sensei, putting Luffy's stupidity aside, why do we need to share a classroom to begin with? Wouldn't it be easier to use an empty classroom instead?" Nami, the class treasurer, asked the obvious question.
"An excellent question, Nami-san. The main reason we'll be sharing a class for now is to better facilitate this crossover."
"…What?" This was all the students of class 1-P could muster, as they were not used to 4th wall breaks yet.
Katsura spoke up next. "Ginpachi-sensei, will a crossover between us even work? Our respective series are pretty different, after all."
"True. Compared to One Piece, which was written by the legendary Oda-sensei, and our own manga, which was written by a gorilla, doesn't make for a great side-by-side comparison."
"No kidding. It'd be like putting dog crap next to mayonnaise," Hijikata said.
"Hijikata-san, either way, they're both crap." Okita retorted.
"Screw you, Sougo."
Ginpachi continued, ignoring the two. "But in this case, this story isn't being done by either of them. We're being written by a completely different author. And given that this is only his second story, we are all equal in the fact that we're likely all going to be crap."
"Oi, Robin-sensei, this guy just said something really scathing about the author just now," Usopp said.
"Gin-sensei, so would that make this new author a gorilla as well?" Kagura, the foreign exchange student, asked.
"No, given that he's still a greenhorn trying to copy the gorilla, we'll just take the middle route and call him a poop-flinging monkey instead."
"So he's even less human?! And how is that the middle route?!" Sanji retorted.
"Sakata-sensei, that doesn't seem very fair." Robin began. Sanji, of course, ate this up as he began swooning.
"Ahhhh, Robin-sensei! Your kindness shines through even now!"
"Gibbons are much cuter, so I think we should go with that instead."
"Robin-sensei!?"
Ginpachi nodded his head sagely. "Fair enough, from now on, we'll refer to the author as Silver-Poop-Flinging-Gibbon-Silver-sensei, or Gibbon for short. Any more questions?"
Zoro, the captain of the kendo team, raised his hand. "Yeah, how exactly are fights gonna work here? Our series has a lot more action in it, and frankly, I don't trust most of these guys to be able to give me a fun fight."
Okita was the first to react to the challenge. "Ooh? Is that right, Zoro-kun? Care to test that right now?"
"Gladly."
Both students began to rise from their seats, eyes locked on to each other. They probably would've tried to kill each other right then and there if it weren't for Robin. "Alright, you two, calm down now. You'll have plenty of time for that later."
Shinpachi was the next to speak. "Zoro-kun does have a point, though. If we look at the most recent arc happening in One Piece, the power difference is pretty clear to see. As hard as it is to admit, if we just get transported from our world to theirs, it'd be like tossing meat to lions."
"Shinpachi-kun, you're not wrong." The perm-headed teacher scratched his head. "That would be an issue if we were actually getting transported from our world."
"Eh, what do you mean?"
"Allow me to explain. You see, Gibbon-sensei doesn't plan to have an isekai-style story where one cast is transported to another world. Rather, the entirety of the story will be taking place in one world, specifically theirs." Ginpachi said, pointing a thumb toward his co-teacher. He then made his way to the blackboard.
"For those of us from the Gintama universe, it will be as if we've lived in that world all our lives. This solves the issue of the power difference since we'll naturally be scaled up to better match the others while also removing the issue of having to explain how half of Edo suddenly got transported to another world. Furthermore..."
Ginpachi picked up two pieces of chalk between his fingers. Suddenly, the white material became coated in a black sheen before he threw them through the air directly at Shinpachi's nostrils, knocking the glasses-wearing boy out of his seat and onto the floor.
"...it also means we get access to cool tricks like this. Neat, huh?" Ginpachi finished, holding up his Haki-coated hand as a final demonstration.
"Why the hell did you have to demonstrate it like that, bastard?!" Shinpachi shouted as he dug the chalk out of his nose.
"The main setting will be during the Wano Country arc since it parallels quite a bit with Gintama's main premise." Robin continued to explain, ignoring the clear case of student harassment before her.
Kagura raised her hand again. "Gin-sensei, what does that mean for me and the other Amanto characters then?"
"Yeah, what does this mean for my character arc?" Catherine joins her.
"Kagura, in this world, the Amanto never existed, so some of us will have our backgrounds altered to better fit the lore of the One Piece world, yourself included. The author will elaborate on that more in the main story. Catherine, don't worry. Whether it's in this world or any other, you'll still be grotesque." Ginpachi explains.
"Screw you, bastard!" Catherine screams, giving Ginpachi the finger, who just continues unbothered.
"As for the main storyline of the arc, that shouldn't change much unless the author decides otherwise, and even then, they would only be small changes, so it doesn't clash too much with the ongoing story going on right now in the manga. So as far as the One Piece cast goes, you bastards get to stay the same, from your heads down to your crotches and what's hanging there."
"Sensei, please don't harass your new students like that." Usopp retorted dryly.
Ginpachi just shook his head. "No can do. If you're gonna be working with us, dirty jokes and 4th wall breaks are a must. It's just our style. We wouldn't be Gintama without them, just like a d*ck without kintama. Both ball-less."
Nami finally had enough, slamming her hands down on the table. "Robin-sensei, why do we have to work with these weirdos? It's like putting boogers on diamonds!"
"I agree. As the diamond, I'm not sure how I can make these boogers shine." Kagura said, picking her nose.
"You're clearly the booger here!"
"I wouldn't be so sure of that." Otae responded, "I still think we can do better than a heroine who can only gather fans by flashing her boobs everywhere."
"Uh-oh," Class 1-P thought collectively. Nami growled before breaking out into a smirk.
"You're just jealous you don't have anything to flash around," she said, puffing out her chest.
"Oh, F*ck," Class 3-Z began to sweat. Otae's smile didn't change, but the pitch-black aura now surrounding her indicated enough.
"Ohohoho, I suppose so. However, that does bring up the question, how did yours get so big? What surgeon did you go to? How much did it cost? Then again, you did spend those 2 years on an island surrounded by nothing but old men, living off them rent-free. Or perhaps it wasn't so free after all... "
"There's a really scary aura forming around them!" Chopper, the youngest member of the class, began to shrink away in fear, his animal instincts telling him to flee.
Indeed, the deadly tension in the air was palpable, making it clear to everyone that it was best not to get between these two demonesses. Well, almost everyone.
"Hey, leave Nami and her awesome boobs out of this! They're as real as the hopes and dreams of the men that fill them!" The swirly-brow pervert exclaimed, hoping to score some brownie points with his crush. He did not.
"Same to you! Otae-san's flatness is part of her charm, like a sexy Serengeti! Right, Otae-san?" The gorilla pervert shot back, hoping to score some banana points with his crush. He did not.
"DIE!" Two fists shot out, each colliding with their respective pervert and sending them flying to the back of the room in a perfect triangular collision course.
"GAAAHHH!" Both Sanji and Kondo collided full force with Luffy, knocking the two of them out cold while toppling Luffy over and out of the water tub he was standing in.
"I'm freeeee!" He said weakly, raising a shaky arm in victory.
"Don't forget to mop that up later, you little bastard." Ginpachi deadpanned.
Robin, choosing to ignore that whole scene, continued unimpeded. "To answer your question, Nami-san, with the Wano arc anime coming to its climactic finish and the announcement of the Ginpachi-sensei anime coming out, now is the perfect time for the author to make a crossover of our two series and capitalize on the popularity high to make up for his utter lack of experience and skill as a writer."
"Someone, please save the author's heart! I can hear it breaking from here!" Chopper shouted in concern.
"Well, I think that's all the announcements for now. Regardless of what you brats may think, we're gonna be stuck with each other for a while, so try not to kill each other too much, okay? Your teachers don't need the extra work. Glad to be working with you, Robin-sensei."
"Same to you, Sakata-sensei."
Ginpachi and Robin then pointed out toward the class, talking to no one in particular. "On to the main story, next chapter!"
Luffy finally recovered enough to stand up, looking excited. "I'm not exactly sure what's happening, but it sounds like fun! Let's do this!"
"Like hell!" The rest of the class shouted.
"Is it too late to transfer out?" Shinpachi wondered aloud.
Hi all! SilverXSilver here, coming at you with a brand-new crossover! This one's gonna be a lot bigger and a lot more ambitious than the previous ones I did, even though I'm doing this for fun all the same. One Piece is one of my favorite ongoing series right now, and Gintama is my all-time favorite anime series, period. So I want to be extra sure I'm doing right by both these series by doing my research on them as much as possible. But even then, I'm still a relatively new writer and far from perfect. So, if you catch any mistakes I make or just have any kind of advice for writing stories, please let me know!
I actually got inspired to write this one rather recently. I was at work, sweeping the floors, absent-mindedly thinking about the Wano arc when I thought, "Huh, 20 years ago, an invading force took over a country using technology and power far more advanced. Where have I heard that before?". And ZING! There it was. After that, I started rereading Gintama to refresh myself on the series, along with the Wano arc, and here we are!
There will be scenes that I'll either trim down or take out if they don't involve the Gintama characters and their involvement or change in the story too much (Luffy vs. Kaido), and even if it may involve them if it's not too major, I want to save time anyways. Wano is super long, and I don't want things to get too boring or redundant.
With all that, sit back, and I hope you enjoy it!