Zeno didn't like it. Didn't like any of it. Grand Priest tried to make it better but he didn't. They all tried to make it better and they all failed. So he took the magic thing that he knew the Grand Priest put away somewhere and started over.

Godly Whimsy

Bulma liked Yamcha. She really did. They'd had their ups and downs throughout the years; breakups followed by getting together–sometimes after days, others, after months. Hell, her sister couldn't be more vocal of her disapproval of her, 'the manslut who thinks you're an easy pair of legs to get between when his side-pieces see him for what he truly is.'

It was a little unfair of her to say that, Yamcha cheating on her had been a one-off thing and they hadn't even taken it far but the general point still stood. She had a million and one reasons to have broken off what she had with Yamcha but they'd practically grown up together.

It was more than him being the easy choice, she could just be comfortable around him more than she could be with others. She can just know that even though he'll respect her knowledge–hell she knows some of the things she's made have outright intimidated him–it won't make him back off.

Yeah, she could accept–well, more tolerate–that the guy had flaws but people grow, change, become better.

What she couldn't accept was when the idiot saw an alien/magic-looking monster child-thing laid out and sleeping on the ground and thought she should be his first choice to call over. That he'd 'asked' her but she could see from him that he didn't for the slightest second think that she'd say no and wouldn't accept no for an answer.

That he didn't even have the forethought to think that if whatever the hell she'd seen a picture of was violent, she could do fuck-all to defend herself. Not that it stopped her from coming, she thought, steadying her helicopter's descent. What it did do was get her to call Krillin first, like the selfish bastard should've done.

She could feel her face heating up, a mixture of embarrassment and anger. That all simmered down to nothingness when she saw Yamcha and Puar through the window of the Capsule House poking at the thing with concern clearly on their faces.

She sighed, taking a second to calm herself down before sending a call Krillin's way, followed by a vibrating sound from above her.

"Good, we got here at the same time."

"Rushed here as fast as I can." Krillin landed. "Knowing Yamcha, if that thing isn't an alien planning an invasion, he'll say something to change its mind."

Bulma chuckled, a little more relaxed. "Lucky us, the thing's still sleeping so Yamcha couldn't have messed things up too badly."

They walked into the house with little fanfare, Yamcha not having locked the door, and made their way to the room, Puar poking his head out to show them which one.

She heard a muffled voice followed by a "Bulma's here?" before she strolled in and made her way for the thing, ignoring her (tentative) boyfriend.

"So…" Her eyes trailed down, taking in the sight of the purple and blue alien with its oval-shaped head and, more importantly, the fancy-looking robes that it had on. "This thing."

"That thing." Yamcha agreed. "At least it looks less creepy than Picollo."

"Aww, c'mon Yamcha." Krillin walked forward bumping shoulders with him. "You're insulting the poor thing; 'less creepy than Picollo' isn't really a high bar to pass."

"I guess not." He tried to say it cheerily but failed, eyes boring into the thing so much that Bulma felt she should get jealous.

Damn his cute side–it was impossible to stay mad at him. "You said you found it passed out in the deserts, right? You check it for bruises and everything?"

"Um, no?" He had the grace to look embarrassed. "I kinda thought it'd be rude if I start searching him and everything. I'm trying to help the guy out, not treat him like a criminal but now that I'm saying it out loud, I feel kinda stupid."

"You are." Bulma sighed. "But I've been with you for long enough to know that already–move over, I'll at least get those robes off it to get a better look."

"Him." Yamcha cut in. "Or them, or her, or anything that doesn't make 'em sound like a thing. I just–that could've been Puar, y'know? Goku back when he was a kid. Left in the desert because they looked funny. Even no-nose Krillin."

"Hey!" The man in question protested. "Don't bring me into this."

"Fine." She moved until she was beside the bed. "You could've at least thrown the covers over them, by the way."

She reached to grab his robe and pull it off, silently sending her apologies to the thing whose clothes she was about to take off when its eyes opened.

Instantly, she was met with the massive orbs of an alien staring curiously at her and jumped back with a shriek, putting her hands to her chest. She took a few seconds to collect herself in which the thing had sat up, Krillin and Yamcha having moved a little closer, to do the dumbest movie-alien routine.

Bulma then reminded herself that being smarter than Yamcha did not at all equate to being smart.

"We are humans!" Krillin started loudly.

"We come in peace!" Yamcha continued.

"Do you understand me!?" The thing tilted its head at Krillin's words.

"Are you hurt!?"

"Don't eat our brains?" Krillin continued, quieter and with much less enthusiasm after he didn't get a response.

Yamcha made to continue the stupid line of questioning that rang as insensitive and somewhat racist to her before she was forced to cut in.

"I'm Bulma." She said pointing at herself and then pointing at the men–boys, really. "That's, Yamcha and that little guy over there is Krillin. See, Yamcha here actually found you–"

"You're not dead." The thing said with a childish voice.

Definitely, a chilling first few words as the thing (boy?) clearly assumed that they should be dead. Doesn't exactly inspire her with confidence but Yamcha and Krillin were between her and it–getting more defensive after those words.

"No, we're not dead." The thing seemed to take a few seconds to let her words sink in, looking around the room a frown coming on its face before it nodded. The 2 fighters shifted a little more perhaps sensing a more dangerous edge to him that she couldn't.

"That's good." And then the tension eased up a little.

Krillin was the first to let it show, laughing weakly. "You really had us by the balls, little guy. Thought we were going to have to fight or something."

The thing actually smiled then, and it made her happier with how genuine it seemed. "You wouldn't even stand a chance."

The thing pushed itself up from the bed and rose to the air momentarily before dropping onto the ground, its figure being dwarfed by theirs.

It said a lot about Bulma that she didn't even flinch at finding out the thing could fly but she did mentally tick it up in the danger category because, as she understood it, flight wasn't a skill just any fighter could learn.

"I'm Zeno." It said simply before walking past her, arms swinging back and forth in an exaggerated soldier-like walk. It was really cute but she was smart enough to know that saying that would be a no-go.

"So, uh, Zeno… There any particular reason you're on Earth?"

"Earth?" The thing swirled around to look at her, putting a hand to its mouth and seemingly thinking about the question.

"Never heard of it!" It cheerily finished but then scowled, scrunching up its face as if it tasted something terrible. "Is Earth boring then?"

She shouldn't have but she snorted. "I wish Earth could be more boring sometimes. I don't know what it'd be like for you if you've been to space and stuff."

Zeno's face set, a monotone look that she couldn't glean anything from that broke when it giggled. A sneaky 'I know something you don't' kind of giggle that he had turned on her.

"I'm going with you then. Take me somewhere fun."

"Excuse me?" Zeno tilted its head.

"Take me somewhere fun?" There was a question in his voice but it was more of a 'why are you stupid?' kind of question than a request where he'd let her say no.

Yamcha who'd been confused for a few seconds jumped on that.

"So you want to see all the cool fun places here, yeah? Well, I'm your guy." He emphasized his point by pointing his finger at his chest but he did exchange a look with Krillin that clearly meant something.

The shorter man nodded before tapping at her leg and nodding his head back. "Me and Bulma here'll probably just be leaving soon."

His brows crossed and Krillin tensed. "No. She stays."

He clearly wanted to say more but he swallowed his words and nodded, quietly leaving the room for a reason that she felt was very relevant information for her ears.

At the questioning look she sent Yamcha he shook his head.

"Hopefully it's nothing." Was all he supplied for an answer and there really wasn't much else for her to do than to listen to the thing's request. Actually…

"Hey, Zeno, what gender are you? I don't know if it's rude–"

"A man. Grand Zeno! Wait… no, I was Grand Zeno until I woke up on Earth. Now I'm just Zeno. It's weird."

"I can only imagine."

"Sounds real rough buddy."

"No." Zeno's refusal was quick. "You're not my buddy. Don't say that again."

Then he turned to look at her and, if Krillin and Yamcha were getting jumpy because of him, then she knew better than to try and fight with the guy.

She made toward the helicopter Yamcha making sure to keep pace with her and looked back to make sure he was following her. "Do you know where Krillin went?"

Yamcha sent a glance Zeno's way which was an odd combination of concern and caution.

"I think Kami's place?" He started, in a whisper. "You didn't feel it but for a few seconds there, when Zeno was thinking–hey can I call you Zeno or is there something else I should call you?"

"Just Zeno is fine now," he chirped.

"So, yeah, there was like this moment of pressure, like, I could barely breathe and I could see that Krillin couldn't either."

Bulma gulped, having made it to the vehicle–she wouldn't even be able to get away in the helicopter seeing as the guy could fly.

"I'm hoping it's nothing though. I was actually worried for the guy, still kinda am." He got into the co-pilot seat waving Zeno over to one of the passenger ones. "Whatever you say, going from 'Grand Zeno' to 'just Zeno now' doesn't sound like it would've involved an awful lot of fun. Still–"


Bulma was obviously sitting in the pilot seat and it seemed like Zeno wanted to be right there beside her because he hadn't even turned toward the passengers once. Her boyfriend put his hands up in surrender and shrugged, standing up and moving and Zeno hopped onto the seat, swinging his legs once he planted himself firmly on it.

At least someone was going to have fun.

A/N: Don't know if I'll take this one anywhere but props to ToxicHunter9 for tricking me into making this.