"Ted now works as a landscaper," Xander replied. "I have him moving my stuff and disposing of some bodies for me."

"Disposing of… demon corpses?" Giles asked.

"The fear demon racked up a number of kills before he tried his trick on me," Xander said. "Ted is going to drop the mummified corpses off at the morgue while they're closed because I don't trust Sunnydale PD not to claim I'm the culprit."

"That's understandable, unfortunately," Giles admitted.

"If we can get back to Ted," Joyce asked/demanded anxiously.

"He didn't kill his wives, they were all… thrill seekers," Xander said, deciding not to bring up their age in front of Joyce. "He didn't marry them for their money and before you he had a taste for women who wanted to live life to the fullest. Causes of death included skydiving and flipped Harleys."

"He hardly seems the type," Joyce said with a frown.

"We met him after a power outage screwed up his behavior update, so he was acting like a 50's dad," Xander explained, surprised his pants weren't on fire from how fast and loose he was playing with the truth. He could explain things in more detail to Giles in private.

"Why were their bodies in his basement?" Giles asked.

"You know how we get the worst cops, the ones with records who can't get jobs elsewhere? Well, our morticians also have rap sheets for various crimes and Ted wasn't going to allow them to touch women he loved," Xander explained, the expressions on Joyce and Giles' faces letting him know they got the jist without saying anything that would mentally scar Dawn.

"What about the drugged cookies and fighting with Buffy?" Dawn asked.

"He's an android so he has much better than human senses," Xander said. "He thought Buffy's increased muscle density was caused by steroid abuse and was trying to set off a roid rage so he could get her treatment without exposing his secret. The cookies were because we all showed signs of developing PTSD and he hoped it'd help treat it."

"That is unfortunately probably true," Giles said with a sigh. "The Justice League noted as much in our physicals and has personnel trained to assist, though subtly. It's part of the reason Buffy was sent to train with the Titans and Willow is spending time with Dr. Fate and Zatanna. Myself and Oz are also undergoing meditative sessions mixed in with our training." Giles frowned. "And once more you seem to have fallen through the cracks."

"I'm on a long overdue vacation," Xander said with a smile, "you can worry about me once I get back from it."

Giles took off his glasses and cleared them as he considered the matter. "I suppose some time off from demon hunting, relaxing, and taking in the sights could be beneficial." He was completely unaware of the dry looks from both mother and daughter directed Xander's way.

"I will look into therapy after I get back from my vacation," Xander said, doing his best not to flinch. "I promise!"

"Probably the best we can hope for," Joyce said with a sigh.

Dawn hugged Xander. "If things get too stressful, I'm perfectly willing to cuddle you until you feel better, day, night, weekends, or whatever."

"Such a sacrifice," Joyce said, amused.

"Are you saying I have ulterior motives?" Dawn asked, pretending to be shocked.

"For that you'd have to be hiding them," Joyce replied, getting a laugh from the two men while Dawn just grinned.

"Yes, well," Giles said before clearing his throat. "I have all the ingredients needed to perform a spell which should help you recover your memories."

"Magic… Yay," Xander said nervously, causing Dawn to squeeze him. "Chances of this spell going wrong?"

"Little to nil," Giles replied. "It's an Order based spell that at worst will simply bring up memories you may have repressed."

"That's horrifying," Xander said bluntly. "I'm still going to do it because I want to remember Dawn and everything we've done together, but I really am worried about what I'd have repressed considering what I do remember."

"Hopefully it won't be that bad," Giles assured him. "The other choice is a much more involved spell that will temporarily link your minds so Dawn can share her memories of your interactions."

"Let's only do that one if we have to," Xander said, "it sounds like the perfect setup for a Freaky Friday event."

"And my bad jokes about getting in my pants that we'll have to save you from Buffy for," Dawn agreed.

Joyce smothered a giggle while Xander laughed and swung Dawn around with a grin. "We'd make suggestive comments to her over the phone before hanging up and drive her nuts."

"Can't do it in person, she'd murder us both," Dawn agreed.

"Are you sure you don't remember Dawn?" Giles asked. "You two get along extraordinarily well."

"We just click," Xander replied.

"Always have," Dawn said smugly.

Giles nodded. "Well, first let's make a circle of salt."

"Basement," Xander said.

"Pardon?" Giles asked.

"The basement has a nice flat concrete floor that we can sweep, which is much better than using carpet which will require more salt and vacuuming after," he explained.

"That is a very good point," Giles said. "I was going to suggest the kitchen, as linoleum works just as well, but it will be a bit cramped."

"No linoleum," Xander said. "I'm not explaining it."

Dawn giggled so hard she let go of Xander. As she caught her breath her mother gave her a questioning look. "His secret, though Cordy once joked about it with me."

"Ah Cordy, my ex who actually believes that tact is another form of lying," Xander said, then frowned. "Might want to have someone stop by and talk to her about mental health as well."

"I'll make a note of it," Giles said.

"Before I forget," Xander said. "Amy is currently a rat and that needs to be fixed."

"We all should have remembered that," Giles said with a frown. "One moment." He turned to Joyce. "Might I borrow your phone for a moment?"

"Go right ahead," Joyce said.

"I really hope this town gets less exciting now that it's no longer hidden," Joyce said. "There were so many major events where the Justice League could have fixed things in an instant that you children were forced to deal with."

"Property prices are going to really jump up," Xander said. "The Mayor kept them low to lure people in and with him gone and the vamps dusted…"

"That is a very good point I can take advantage of," Joyce said, eyes lighting up.

"I thought we were on the low end of middle-class?" Dawn asked, wondering how her mom could afford to get into the housing market.

"Low end?" Joyce groaned. "I have a lot of calls to make. No wonder I haven't talked to my parents in a while."

"They are going to be so mad," Dawn said, "and owe me so many presents!"

"Blame the Mayor," Xander said. "Pretty sure you can get one of the League members to explain things to them."

"Thank you, that will help a lot," Joyce said, relieved.

Giles hung up the phone and returned to the conversation. "Zatanna is going to retrieve Amy and restore her to human form, and tonight I am going to go through my journals and make sure there is no one else that needs assistance I may have overlooked."

"Like Faith," Xander said.

"Like…" Giles took off his glasses and pinched the bridge of his nose. "Joyce, may I borrow your phone again?"

"Go ahead," Joyce said.

"I don't like Faith," Dawn said bluntly.

"Not that fond of her myself," Xander said, "but the Mayor could have screwed with her mind as well and regardless she needs help, possibly jail time as well, but that's also something the League can handle."

"Works for me," Dawn said with a smile.

Giles sighed as he hung up the phone. "Is there anyone else we've overlooked?"

"Those two are the only ones who need immediate help I can think of," Xander said.

"Good and thank you for reminding me," Giles said, relieved. "Now, let's go to the basement and get this out of the way."

"How involved is it?" Xander asked.

"A circle of salt, some candles, a simple chant lasting no more than three minutes," Giles said. "You simply sit in the middle and relax."

"Ah good," Xander said. "Less for me to mess up."

The four went down to the basement where Xander swept the floor to make sure they had a clean place to lay everything out. Giles had Xander stand in the center of the cleared area while he poured a line of salt around him and carefully positioned four candles before lighting them.

Giles started chanting in a surprisingly deep voice and the yellow flames of the candles turned blue. The air began to smell of dust and parchment as the spell progressed.

Xander grabbed his head and groaned as the candles went out. "Bad idea, very bad idea," Xander gasped out as blood began to drip from his nose.

"Xander!" Dawn exclaimed and rushed over to help him.

"What went wrong?" Joyce demanded, concerned.

"I don't know," Giles admitted, pulling a handkerchief from his pocket and handing it to Xander.

"I know," Xander said in a pained voice. "I should be fine in a minute, I just need a gatorade and some aspirin."

"Lemonade and midol?" Joyce offered.

"That'd work," he agreed as Joyce hurried to the kitchen.

"Are you okay?" Giles asked.

"I'll be fine," Xander assured him, "just getting hit with a second helping of things mortal man was not meant to know."

"A second helping?" Giles asked as Xander relaxed, leaning on Dawn.

"Yeah," Xander said as Joyce returned and he paused to take the lemonade and a couple of pills. "I picked up a shield while saving some girls from becoming human sacrifices and it took a beating and needed to be reforged. Naturally I took it to Hephaestus and watching it gave me a nosebleed and a headache because I saw too much."

"You are really awful at telling stories," Dawn told him.

"That was just the high points," Xander replied. "I don't think I left anything out."

"Yeah, but now he has like a ton of more questions," the young girl told him.

Xander shrugged. "Headache is fading," he said with relief.

"I have a ton of questions," Giles said.

"I've got it all written out in order upstairs," Dawn said. "Should save time."

"No telling Buffy and Willow I'm dating Wonder Woman," Xander ordered Giles.

"I really need to see what you've written," Giles told Dawn.

"Okay, first spell is a bust," Xander said. "I remember some stuff I've forgotten, though it's really overshadowed by knowledge of how to forge things, but no additional memories of Dawn."

"Nothing?" Dawn asked, concerned.

"Nope, no memories of you as Buffy's younger sister, you're just a cute girl I click with," he said apologetically.

"While I like that a lot, it'd still be nice if you remembered all the times we spent watching old movies and joking around," Dawn said.

"The second spell I am prepared to cast will just copy the memories Dawn has of all the times you were together," Giles offered, "which I very much doubt will include any deities."

"That sounds safe," Dawn said.

"Times we were together or times Dawn thought we were together?" Xander asked, trying to figure out how the spell could backfire.

"The latter," Giles said. "If she was asleep or distracted and did not know you were present the spell would ignore those memories."

"That doesn't sound bad," Dawn said, relieved.

"How about the times her mind said we were together, but we weren't," Xander asked suspiciously.

"You mean like illusions or hallucinations?" Giles asked.

"Oh!" Dawn exclaimed, freezing up.

"Daydreams, dreams period," Xander said.

"The spell would include those," Giles said.

"Um," Dawn looked up at Xander and nervously bit her lip.

"I think we're going to have to pass on that spell," Xander said firmly, making Dawn let out a relieved sigh and collapse against him.

"Sorry," Dawn said apologetically.

Xander squeezed her. "Don't be, I am completely happy getting to know you again. That spell is way too invasive for me to feel comfortable about using it on someone I like."

"Head feel better?" Dawn asked, changing the subject.

"Much," Xander said. "It feels a little full, but that will go away in an hour or so."

"Let's go get your face cleaned up," Dawn ordered, pulling him towards the stairs.

"What did I miss?" GIles asked as they cleaned up from the ritual.

"Dawn has a rather large crush on Xander and has had it practically since she first laid eyes on him," Joyce explained.

"Oh," Giles said. "I see."

"She's probably spent more time fantasizing about him than she spent with him," Joyce said.

"So, Xander's vacation has been… Xanderish?" Giles asked awkwardly, changing the subject.

"More so than his time in Sunnydale," Joyce said, amused by his embarrassment.

"Really?"

"Vampires, demons, zombies… well one zombie, super villains and heroes," Joyce listed off, "and he doesn't tell things in order, which is why Dawn sat down with him and got everything written out in the order it all occurred."

"And it's only been a week," Giles said in disbelief as he followed her up the stairs.

0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0

"I'm sorry I couldn't help," Dawn said softly as Xander washed the blood off his face in the bathroom sink.

"Dawn, I don't mind, really," he assured her. "Trust me, if it was the other way around I'd be saying no too. Probably cause I didn't want to traumatize you with the frequency and inventiveness of my dreams and fantasies, but I'd still say no."

"Do you think you ever dreamed about me?" Dawn asked hopefully.

"Let's see, I've known you for several years, you're attractive and female, fun to be around… I plead the fifth," Xander said.

Dawn giggled. "Does your head feel better?"

"Yeah, still a little stuffed," he said, "but the pain's gone."

"Good," she said. After a moment she asked, "is it wrong that I kinda like the fact that you can't remember me?"

"Depends on the reason," he replied.

"You treat me like me now, not like a younger sister," she said, trying to think of how to phrase it. "I'm a person, not an add-on."

Xander considered that and slowly nodded. "You aren't an add-on of my friendship with Buffy, you are my friend Dawn."

"Exactly!" she exclaimed. "You see me for me and I like being seen as me."

"Yeah, I get it," Xander said. "How about we hold off on any more attempts to restore my memory until I get back from my trip so you'll be firmly in my mind as my friend Dawn and not my friend's sister Dawn?"

"Agreed," she said. "Your cute friend Dawn who you actually date."

"Age appropriately date," he said.

"Deal!" she stuck out a hand and they shook on it.

"Now, let's hand Giles the summary of my adventures and watch his eyes pop out," Xander said.

"Get your shield," Dawn said, "I haven't seen it yet."

"Will do," Xander promised as they headed downstairs.

Typing By: Abyssal Angel

Beta By: Abyssal Angel, Mist of Shadows, and Kyrin Fireheart

Omake 2 by captaindickscratcher: Can we fix it?

Xander has spent the last few days clearing out and checking the Arcade and when he heard trucks pulling up to his new property. Before checking who arrived he decided to be better safe than sorry and slid two blessed knives in hidden holsters and his axe and shield just by the door. After all, even though it was daytime this was still Sunnydale and there were more than just Vampires drawn to the town.

Looking out across the parking lot he watched as a young man got out of a large pickup truck loaded with construction tools and equipment.

"Mister Harris?" asked the stranger with a surprising British accent.

"That would be me," replied Xander, still not moving an inch away from grabbing his weapons. "Who wants to know?"

"Ah, my apologies Mr Harris, we were scheduled to arrive in six weeks but our next jobs been put on hold and we're early. My names Robert. I'm the foreman for this project. Haven't you been notified?"

Xander looked at the now named Robert confused. "Project? Don't recall ever hiring any crews. Who exactly contacted you?" Xander slowly started to reach for his axe, although it looked like there were several more large guys waiting in the trucks so if it came to a fight he was in real trouble.

"Well Mr Harris, we were contracted by a Miss Diana Prince to renovate a property-" Explained Robert

"Hold up one second," Xander said, cutting him off. "Let me make a call." Xander pulled out his phone and dialed Diana's number. After a few rings she picked up

"Hi Xander," she said. "Thought you were busy for the next few days, everything OK?"

"Well, that depends," Xander replied confused. "Did you order a construction crew to come to my place?"

"Wait! They're there already? Hang on, I'm coming to you now."

There was a flash of light and Diana appeared next to him. "I'm sorry i didn't know they'd be here this soon. I was going to tell you."

Xander looked back and forth between her and the construction team that saw her appear out of nowhere, slightly panicking that her cover was blown, until Diana walked forward with a big smile calling out, "Robert so good to see you, How is everyone?"

Robert replied, "Good, Good Diana. Is this the one you told me about?"

"Yes, I'm sorry Xander, this is Robert, he and his team handles special construction work for all my... coworkers," Diana said embarrassed. "I asked if he could come take a look at your property to make it more secure against the local... wildlife, I didn't think he'd bring his full crew."

To say Xander was surprised was like saying he just found out his grades could get him into MIT. "So wait! you do jobs for.."

"The Justice League, Teen Titans, Doom Patrol to name a few, plus individual teams and hero's you never heard of and NEVER WILL from us. Suddenly stranded on Earth and need special living conditions? We make it! Keep breaking things when getting new superpowers? We will repair your house. Grown to nine feet tall or now weigh two thousand pounds and need a new bathroom or floors? We'll fix it. Remodeling after Villain attack? Need hidden compartments for crime fighting equipment or vehicles? The list goes on," said Robert proudly

"How the HELL did you get that gig?" asked a stunned Xander

"Well from what I CAN tell you is, My family did work for the Watcher council, the cheap tight fisted bastards, a few jobs for British intelligence and went from there. All workers are thoroughly vetted, with ironclad magically enforced NDA's on every job and if required any memory that risks identity or location only are erased, safer for you and us. And we never take criminal or Villain jobs," Robert said in a serious tone. "We also know about Sunnydale's 'Night time' problems. Got to say, you got guts going out helping people."

Xander turned to Diana. "Surely you're not serious, this must cost a fortune. I can't possibly pay for this."

Diana snickered. "Xander, don't worry when the Mayor 'retired' all his hidden cash, bullion and jewels, along with whatever the demons left were recovered and put aside to help any resident of Sunnydale, which includes you. Plus, don't think only Superman is strong enough to make diamonds out of coal. I was owed a favor by Supergirl and she went a little overboard. There's more than enough and what have I told you? Don't call me Shirley," Diana said quietly and giggled again.

"So are we good?" asked Robert

Xander felt it was better to take the offer, as who knows how long Sunnydale would be demon free, sighed and said, "Yeah, we're good. Want to give me some ideas on what's planned, Rob?"

"Please, call me Bob. Here, I'll get my guys to start checking the wiring and making a list of what needs doing first." Bob yelled out, "WENDY! Get Scoop's and Muck's team to check the structure, Dizzy's team on electrics, Roly's team on the screen and carpark, Lofty's team and everyone else help out till called."

A blonde woman got out of the truck, Holding a pad and shouted, "GOT IT BOB! OK EVERYONE, YOU HEARD HIM, GET TO WORK "

In a French accent 'Five hours later'

"Got to say, whoever built this knew what they were doing," Bob said aloud.

"How so?" asked Xander, Diana having left to go deal with, in her words, 'a pain of a Monkey with delusions of grandeur'.

"Well, it doesn't look it, but the above ground is made to military spec; steel framed security doors, reinforced walls, floor and ceiling, backup generator way bigger than needed to run what you can see, hidden air filters and independent water supply if needed and a site with good views of the surrounding area. Plus, you're surrounded by rock so no Graboid or other underground monsters can get to you," Bob said chuckling.

"Graboids are real?" asked a stunned Xander

"Don't worry too much, they're extremely rare and the League monitors the known sites," Bob replied. "Bigfoot wouldn't come near the Hellmouth, there hasn't been a incident with a pack of werewolves since the Scottish Highlands incident, the New Mexico ants were dealt with in the 50's and Norway has its giant Troll problem contained to name a few "

Xander, feeling a headache coming on, asked, "OK, So, what's the plan?"

Bob grinned. "Oh the usual, we'll add an extra building and extension to the existing one to act as cover for the work, rewire the place, add high power lights, hidden cameras and motion sensors, with pressure sensors on every good spot for someone to watch the place or do sniping. Once that's done our occult specialist will come and ward the place against mystical or magic attacks and spying."

Xander was curious. "You have a witch that works for you? And what about the bunker?"

Bob replied, "Oh, we have two, Minerva and her apprentice Hermione are more consultants but knows their stuff. As for the bunker, we'll expand that and add extra levels, should come in at around an extra 110,000 square feet living space, another 100,000 for future needs. We'll even turn one of the water tanks into an underground swimming pool."

"People are going to notice that big of a project and it will take years," Xander said, shaking his head. "I can't stay at my friends' for that long."

Bob just laughed at him and said, "That's what teleporters are for! We'll just build the whole new sections out at factories all over the world, above ground fitted furniture, carpets and all, then swap the dirt for it. You could be standing on top and not feel a thing and it will take all of five minutes!"

CDS: I'm sorry this was intended to just be a short Omake but it just kept... GOING! The brain worms wouldn't stop!. It became a what if.. The Alien tech the League has was used in a practical way. I don't mind if you don't use it, parts of it or change what you want.

As Edward Nygma once said, "CAFFEINE WILL KILL YA!"