233It is Me, Dio!
Waking up in the body of an old fat alcoholic wasn't my idea of fun. Add in homicidal stepmom Hera and megalomaniac grandpa Kronos, and I'm questioning the whole reincarnation deal. On the bright side, I am now an Olympian. And the world is clearly not ready for a Dionysus who truly embodies parties and madness.
SI as Dionysos in Percy Jackson and the Olympians. Xover elements with Harry Potter, Bleach and Highschool DxD
Chapter 1 to 10 : Arc 1 - Percy Jackson and the GigaChad
Chapter 11 to 15 : Arc 2 - Harry Potter and the Mothers Fucker
Chapter 16 to 18 : Arc 3 - Percy Jackson and the Political Bullshit of the Fates
Chapter 19 to 26 : Arc 4 - Hazel Levesque and the Roman Decadence
Chapter 27 and 28 : Arc 5 - Percy Jackson and the Titan's Bane
Chapters 28 to present : Arc 6 - The Thirteen Labors of Dionysos
Prologue
24th May 2006
Percy stumbled into a world of wacky dreams filled with disgruntled barnyard animals— most of them harboring a serious grudge against him, while the others were just hangry. Just like the bull-man who attacked him a few hours ago. And that he may have killed - well, that he would have killed if the stranger did not just appear in front of him, saved his mom, and hit the bull-man with a flamingo.
What a strange dream.
He tried to open his eyes, but attempting to wake up was like playing a surreal game of whack-a-mole, with each sight and sound prompting him to just pass out again. What a weak-ass. In one particularly bizarre moment, he woke up in a plush bed, only to be spoon-fed something that tasted like buttered popcorn, or magical pudding maybe, by a cute girl with blond hair. Eh. At least his dreams where nice.
When Percy's peepers dared to flutter open once more, the girl launched a full-scale inquisition about the summer solstice, leaving Percy more bamboozled than a cat at a laser light show. A rapping on the door served as her cue to perform a majestic pudding shove into Percy's gaping maw. The next time he surfaced from his nap cocoon, the girl had vanished, only to be replaced by a surfer-dude-looking blond guy sporting more blue eyes than Percy could count without investing in a second set of fingers.
Then, entered Grover, his best friend, the goat-boy-turned-not-goat-boy, who propped himself against the porch railing, looking like he'd partied so hard that even the Energizer Bunny would be impressed. In a theatrical reveal, he produced a shoe box containing a black-and-white bull's horn, complete with dried blood, as if to confirm that Percy's recent nightmare was the real deal involving the Minotaur. In the midst of grappling with disbelief - A bull-man ? A flamingo ? - Percy concluded he was, at least, not an orphan, as the man with the flamingo had apparently "Yeeted" - whatever that meant - his mom back home, as he said, before hitting the bull with the pink bird.
Grover, in his satyr-ordeal remorse, seemed to expect a punch, but Percy reassured him it wasn't his fault he had been in mortal danger. Well, it was, but, you know. Friendship and all. Yeah, they was bullshit. He hit a bit his friend. This led to a dizzying moment where Grover handed him a glass with an unexpected taste of chocolate-chip cookies—Percy's mom's homemade ones, no less.
"Ah, Aurora has finally woken up"
Percy saw the the blonde girl entering, the one who gave him magical pudding in his - well, obviously, it wasn't a dream - had just said.
"What did you call me?" Asked Percy.
"Aurora is the name of the Sleeping Beauty. Duh. I'd make fun of you since you don't even know children's stories, but, well, making fun of a demigod who didn't have a childhood isn't cool behavior. And I'm a cool girl. Monsieur D said so. Now get your ass out of bed, Monsieur D and Chiron are waiting for us!", the blonde girl said before grabbing him by the hand.
As he got out of the infirmary, still in his medical gown - he had not realized yet everybody could see his ass - Percy did a double take.
Before him unfolded a miniature enchantment—ancient Greece in all its glory, but with an added twist. Delicate vines adorned many buildings, weaving through columns and wrapping around structures like nature itself had decided to embrace the city. On many buildings, large copper and bronze gears turned gently. The intertwining greenery painted a scene of harmonious coexistence between the man-made antique buildings with a steampunk inspiration and the natural. Some were still under construction, as if they had started only recently. Amidst the bustling streets, teens adorned in shimmering Greek armor moved with a grace that seemed to mimic the very gods they emulated. The sunlight danced off their polished shields, casting an ethereal glow upon the cobbled -men, their lower halves furry hindquarters, played music that seemed to transcend time itself (he found it awful, but, well, really, who was he to judge ?). Tree-girls, with their ethereal beauty, twirled in spontaneous dances, the hem of their flowing dresses brushing gently against the verdant vines that adorned the buildings.
The air carried the faint scent of olive trees, and the laughter of the teens mingled with the vibrant tunes, creating an atmosphere of pure joy.
"Aaaaahhh".
He heard a scream of pain from one of the building, who looked like a steampunk greek gym. Okey, so, maybe, not pure-pure joy.
Annabeth led the way towards a breathtaking building, its grandeur emphasized by the delicate vines that adorned its columns. A sign nearby identified it as a Bouleuterion, and Annabeth, walking ahead with purpose, couldn't help but share a piece of the enchanting backstory.
"About two months ago," she began, her eyes glinting with pride, "Monsieur D decided that if we were going to have a Greek hero camp, it should look like the camp of Greek heroes. And a steampunk one, because, why not ? And the guy - I mean, god - got tastes." She gestured toward the majestic Bouleuterion. "So, he decided to rebuild everything, and I was one of the kids of Athena chosen to redesign this."
Percy's eyebrows shot up in surprise as he glanced at the impressive structure. "You redesigned this? But you are like…eleven years old !"
Annabeth nodded, a small smile playing on her lips. "Yeah, along with other children of Athena. We wanted it to capture the essence of the ancient Bouleuterion—where representatives gather to decide on public affairs. Monsieur D - Dionysos, for your information - may have a thing for parties, but he's got an eye for historical accuracy too."
"Wow…You're ama…Wait, why am I even focusing on that ? WHAT DO YOU MEAN DIONYSOS AND ATHENA ?"
"Shhh ! Don't use their names ! So…"
And Annabeth explained to him stuff about myths being reals, gods being real - a lot of thing being real -, the Minotaurs, his math teacher who probably was one of the God of Death's henchman or - woman - or monster…Until they arrived in front of another building.
Annabeth's eyes sparkled with pride as she explained, "This is the Stoa, a place for conversation and contemplation. The columns are replicas of those found in the Stoa of Attalos. We thought it'd be a good spot for demigods to gather and share their stories."
With a hint of hesitation, she continued, "Alright, Percy, time to meet the bigwigs. Monsieur D and Chiron." She led him towards another significant structure, and as they approached, she delved into a tale of divine punishment and unexpected responsibilities.
"See that building?" Annabeth pointed to an impressive structure that radiated an air of authority. "That's where we're headed. It's technically Monsieur D's house, but we call it "The D-emple", even if technically he is not allowed to have one. A Temple, I mean. Monsieur D, Mister D or Dionysos, is the Olympian god of wine and, well, he's the director of Camp Half-Blood. And because his Father, Big Z - well, for your information, Zeus - did not exactly specify what he had the right to do and could not do in his "direction" of the camp, well, he has a bit of leeway"
Percy's eyes widened at the revelation, "The god of wine? Running a camp? And why shouldn't we use the names of the gods?"
Annabeth nodded, her expression serious yet tinged with a trace of amusement. "Yep. Long story short, he got himself in trouble with Big Z—chasing after an off-limits dryad, who happened to be a hot commodity. Big Z wasn't too pleased, so he punished Monsieur D by putting him in charge of Camp Half-Blood for a hundred years. And about the names, well, just remember that you should avoid using them - when you can. "
Percy nodded. "I see…Guess you could say he's serving his time."
"Exactly," Annabeth replied with a sly grin. "And here's the kicker: during his tenure, he's not allowed to drink wine. So, instead, he downs several liters of Diet Coke. And he's fat. Oh, and growing grapes for wine? Absolutely forbidden. Though, he does use his powers on other plants, like strawberries. That's how Camp Half-Blood became known as a Strawberry Farm—helps with the expenses, you know."
The girl looked a bit unhinged, and Percy noticed the dark circles around her eyes. Maybe she wasn't like that normally - and with a bit more sleep. Still, she was full of spirit and energy. Maybe she was just another nerd who'd stayed awake for days just to finish a video game - well, building a building, rather?
Percy raised an eyebrow, unsure whether to take the description literally or metaphorically. Annabeth, however, continued with a hint of caution in her voice, "I mean, he's a god, so saying that sounds weird, but you get what I mean. He was more interested in his own affairs than running the camp - meaning he played game against Chiron. And lost. Badly. Every time. A bit distant and, well, let's say the term 'uninvolved' might be an understatement."
"But," she added, a note of surprise in her voice, "a few months ago, something changed. Dionysos started to show a genuine interest in the camp. It was like a switch flipped. Suddenly, he became more invested, like he actually cared about us. Which he probably does not. But, well…"
Percy frowned, intrigued by the unexpected turn of events. "What happened to make him change?"
Annabeth shrugged, her expression thoughtful. "That's the thing. Nobody knows. It's a mystery. He started coming up with new activities, like the 'Dionysia'—a festival he personally designed. He even created a theater and introduced a bunch of other changes around camp. It's strange, Percy. Really strange. And, as Athena's daughter, I don't like mysteries". Ah, there. She acted a bit more like the know-it-all she looked like.
Then, without even a warning, she pushed him to to the "D-emple". Percy couldn't decide if he'd entered a psychedelic time machine or if the architect was just a little too fond of throwing everything in but the kitchen sink.
Columns from ancient Greece rubbed shoulders with neon signs straight out of a '70s disco. Murals depicted ancient revelers high-fiving flapper dancers, and the overall vibe was a chaotic fusion of toga parties, Brazilian carnivals, and Mardi Gras. Percy half-expected the French foreign legion to stroll by playing the trumpet.
Inside the temple was even more of a sensory overload. Tapestries clashed in a friendly war of patterns, and the scent of incense tried its best to mask the underlying aroma of a thousand pizzas. A DJ booth occupied one corner, where a satyr with wicked turntable skills spun tracks that seemed to span the entire history of music—from ancient lyres to futuristic techno.
The grand altar looked like it had been raided by a group of particularly festive pirates, adorned with glittering costumes, masks that sparkled like constellations, and a grape juice fountain that bubbled over with effervescent joy.
Amidst the chaos, Percy couldn't help but notice his Latin teacher—now unmistakably a centaur, but it wasn't the strangest thing he had seen today, so why not.
Percy approached, trying not to trip over the technicolor togas strewn across the floor. "Mr. Brunner…, what the fuck ?", he said eloquently.
Chiron turned, his hooves tapping out an impromptu dance rhythm. "Ah, Percy Jackson! Welcome to Camp Half Blood ! Care for a toga?" He gestured towards a pile of what appeared to be tie-dyed bed sheets.
Percy blinked, taking it all in. "I... I think I'll pass on the toga, but maybe some of that grape juice."
But then, a music started. As the first notes of a cosmic groove filled the air, twelve goat-men - satyrs, Annabeth had called them - popped up from the vibrant chaos of the temple, each armed with an instrument that screamed, "Let's get this party started!" Their laughter bounced off the walls in a contagious rhythm as they jammed, turning the temple into an impromptu dance floor. The satyrs, sporting tie-dye ensembles that could make a rainbow blush, played instruments ranging from panpipes to a lyre that looked like it had partied through the ages. The youngest, with a pizza pan drum that doubled as a makeshift tambourine, set the beat for this eclectic ensemble.
Then, with a flourish that could rival a magician unveiling a rabbit from a hat, the eldest satyr, a wise figure with a grey beard that rivaled Dumbledore's - he should ask Annabeth if Harry Potter was real too, after all, why not - stepped into the spotlight. He threw a jazz hand in the air, prompting the music to screech to a halt.
"Ladies, gentlemen, demigods, and anyone who knows how to have a good time, prepare yourselves for the entrance of the Great One !" The herald's announcement was followed by a drumroll from the satyrs.
"I introduce, the Cosmic Whisperer, Master of the Libation, the deity of dance-offs and the Ultimate Connoisseur of chaos! Presenting the Supreme Grape Sorcerer, the Curator of Calamity, the Emancipator of Euphoria!. And now, in all his chilled-out glory, the man who put the 'Dio' in 'Dionysos'—here comes the one, the only, Dionysos!"
With a swish of energy, the atmosphere shifted, and the temple seemed to hold its breath for a moment. And then, from the midst of the divine revelry emerged Dionysos himself—a vision of coolness that could make the God of Chill take notes. Wait - Dionysos himself was the God of Chill !
He appeared as a beautiful, bearded and dark-haired guy in his prime, looking like he just walked out of a fashion shoot for the godly edition of GQ. Dressed in a sleek yellow suit that radiated both elegance and a hint of the unconventional, maybe reminiscent of another life, where he wasn't a god but an admiral - who knows ?-, Dionysos embodied the essence of Chadness.
His dark hair, casually tousled, framed a face that seemed sculpted by divine hands. A mischievous glint danced in his eyes, and a laid-back smile played on his lips, exuding an air of both wisdom and eternal youth. The suit, perfectly tailored to his athletic frame, hinted at a fashion sense that transcended mortal trends.
"Dionysos is in the house!" The herald declared, and the D-emple erupted into cheers and applause. The satyrs, now fully embracing their role as the world's grooviest backing band, added a funky flourish to welcome the god of grape juice and good times.
And Percy met again the guy who had beaten up the minotaur with a flamingo.
AN : Percy Jackson is one of the novels of my childhood - but I've always been very frustrated with the treatment of Dionysus, portrayed as a useless old alcoholic, even though he's one of the most incredible Olympians - and the only Olympian that ascended, being born as a demigod. He was raised by the titan Phrea, having traveled through Egypt, Syria, and then Phrygia, founded his own cult - and even recruited Amazons, invading the underworld to free his mother - and all this while he was still only a demigod.
In the course of the story, I'll try to include notes on the mythology of Dionysus in connection with certain events in the story, which I'll put in the general index.
Finally, the story will begin with the Percy Jackson plot, i.e. independently of the Highschool DxD plot. Once the Percy Jackson plot has been dealt with - and even if deities from other pantheons will intervene in Dionysus' day-to-day life - I'll tackle Highschool DxD - or, in any case, a Highschool DxD AU where the Greek pantheon has been replaced by the Highschool DxD pantheon, and the canon starts in 2011 - i.e. at the end of the Percy Jackson canon. Let me know what you think in the comments. Laslty, if you want exclusive content and early access to chapters, here is my Patre on with :
→ Early access to chapters (for this fic, but also others, like Solo Pirating or I'm Albus Fucking Dumbledore)
→ Exclusive Pictures (SFW & NSFW) of the characters
→ Polls where you can vote for in-story action
→ Exclusive Mythological Content
Link : Patreo n. com (slash) LaChenille