2,458..::.. Chapter 76 - Air Freshener ..::..
"Alice?"
The last time I spoke to her was in this very cemetery where their father was buried, Edward's tombstone by his. I was so lost and in love then, I barely saw straight. I was by Edward's right hand, holding it tight as they buried Senior. She walked away and never spoke to me again when she saw how obsessively in love we were. A burning secret we kept until that very day.
The dark circles under Alice's eyes are prominent as if her four boys aren't the loudest, but her thoughts. Her hair is cut short to her neck; grays speckled despite her age—we're the same, yet not. She's hugging herself in her oversized, tweed coat. A gleaming diamond on her unpolished finger. She's in a dress and heels. Not in a brand I'd ever expect her to wear.
Alice is motherly. Alice is different.
I hold my breath.
She looks away toward the stone. The wind catches her locks around her face. A pin on her hair like her mother used to wear.
"I was wondering if you even cared," she says, turning her eyes to me.
Ever the fierce, protective sister. A pang to my chest.
"Why wouldn't I care?" I respond.
"Because in the end, no one does. All anyone ever wanted from him was what he could give," she says. Her glare pointed.
I shake my head. "You have me all wrong." These old feelings fire up. "I think you always have, Alice. You never let me explain before you left," I say.
She tilts her head. Her boys are at the tombstone already, her husband there. "Explain what exactly?" she challenges, taking a step closer.
I'm mute. Well, how do I explain? All this … mess. My heart races. There's a monumental thing I could explain, and it's proof. It's sleeping in the car seat this second. Panic makes me look behind me, but I catch myself. I shuffle subtly to block that explanation from view.
Alice's eyes flicker there. My heart at my throat, I hold myself still with an unmoving expression as hard as I can.
"You're right. There's nothing to explain. I … I just came after I heard … about what happened. I'm sorry."
She blinks, her jaw sharp before she says, "What are you sorry about?"
"Your loss." I quickly retort with a nod. "All of your loss. I'm very sorry, Alice. I never had the chance to tell you how much." I dig my nails into my palm, regretting ever letting Jess bring me here.
Her eyes drag over me, from mine to my toes. She doesn't react.
"Everyone is sorry these days, about a lot of things. About what they've done and what they regret," she says.
My stomach stirs. "Yeah." I look out at the distance and cross my arms over my chest to stop my hands from shaking. "I know what you mean," I say. I'll die here, I'm sure of it.
"You look like shit, Bella. You're pale, you're thin. You've got blotchy, glassy eyes like you've been crying." She makes the observation. I quickly pull under my eyes.
I chuckle a little, nervously. "Well, it is a cemetery. It's what happens I guess." I fix that.
"No." She shakes her head. "People cry for the dead. But others? Others mourn for the loss. Your eyes show how much you've lost."
I look away again, at trees, at anything. To hide the very thing she means from rolling down my cheek.
"Stop torturing me, Alice," I mutter weakly. "You've won, okay? I lost him."
"Lost," she mimics. She nods. "There it is."
"Are you happy you got it out of me?" I ask.
"Your intentions? Yes. Happy? Never about this."
I look at her. She's genuine, direct.
"Well, you caught me, like many times before, stirred in my feelings for him. Now you know, it wasn't ever an infatuation like a highschool girl you dug your nails into." I smirk.
She does, too.
It's quiet for a long moment, but she doesn't take her eyes away for a second.
"He wanted so badly to run away with you," she says.
I cut my eyes to her. The blood drains from my face.
She knows.
"It's just too bad you didn't when you had the chance. You always were so damned indecisive, even when we were kids."
My breath catches. She knows absolutely everything.
"Every night, he'd call to tell me how stubborn you were. The times he begged."
I let out a quivering breath.
"You had all the chances and you blew it." She looks at me hard.
"Stop," I plead. She's cruel. I don't want to hear this.
"He would've taken you to a Polynesian island, and you would not have to work a day in your life; trophy wife, secret life."
"Alice…" I shake my head, eyes fluttering around tears. Anger envelops me. "Please."
"Where he would have built a boat to set you both off toward the horizon, like the love-sick pair that you were, never looking back at his sins or your sad tragedies."
"Stop it!" I shout. My sobs are obvious now.
Her boys look back. Jess climbs out of the car and glares, listening to all of it.
"Bella, get in the car," she says to end this.
Alice grits her teeth behind her tight, sealed lips.
"It hurts doesn't it?" she asks. "I'm just telling you what you deserve. People tend to forget about the consequences. They give up living and let lies drown them. You're drowning."
My chest is heaving. My heart hammering. Alice always was so ruthless.
I rush to the car and open the door.
"What's his name?" she asks. My whole life drains from me through the soles of my feet.
She means the baby.
I whisk around. "Nameless. Unknown. A fucking stranger to you," I spit. "Because as long as I live, no one will ever know." I make that very clear; fists balled up, chin held high, and all my strength in those words.
Alice smiles. She nods. "Don't forget what I've said," she jabs. "I'll come and find you if you do. Until the day you get it through your thick head." She's never the type to let things go, her last word. She's Alice and she's a Cullen.
As Jess drives off with rushed apologies through her quivering lips, I wonder about Alice's mental state and if she's ever been okay. Alice is just as unhinged as the day she pushed me down the stairs.
She's the same. She hasn't changed. Her words with intent, doubled-edged and sharp. The blade aimed right at my heart.
She pushed today. Me, right off the edge. I'm tumbling through the pain. Edward isn't at the end of the stairs to catch me this time.
I cry. The baby does, too.
Jess stops at a red light as we try to settle him … and me. I hold his little hand, and we watch one another through watery eyes.
"Polynesian Island," Jess scoffs. Her quiet statement in a flood of thoughts. "Crazy bitch."
I run it all again through my aching head. Alice's mind has always been as sharp as a tack. When did it change?
The baby suddenly gurgles loudly after crying, the sun beams over his eyes from the window. He smiles at me. It's his very first time doing this. Jess and I pause to listen or watch, astonished.
"The crazy Cullen family member, and now we're raising another. Hah." Jess muses. She lets out a laugh.
The light turns green, and we're moving. The stupid air freshener dangling from the rearview mirror sways and slaps against the windshield loudly. Palm trees and coconuts under an orange horizon with those very smells.
"Is she?" I muse, too. My heart pounding like a drum to the beat of another possibility.
Jess and I look at one another through the rear view mirror.
"She'll come and find me, to remind me '…what I deserve.'" I mimic Alice's words.
Everyone in this car is suddenly quiet and in complete and utter disbelief.
Jess chuckles. It's slow. It bubbles up into a full-on laughter. Then she's quiet. She's thinking it through. "Holy shit," she says. "They would do just about anything crazy, wouldn't they?"
The car ride is eerily quiet. The clouds part and the sun comes out fully, like the realization unfolding. Everything looks colorful and brighter … and hopeful. The baby coos at me with puckered lips like a clue. I smile at him; I laugh through my tears.
"You were just waiting for me to figure it out, huh?" I ask him. "You knew, didn't you?" He smiles again.
Now Jess is crying. "Oh God, of course. Of course!" she shouts as it dawns on her. "Alice is a fucking genius!" She's laughing and crying, and laughing again. The baby laughs, too, hearing her. We're all in stitches in seconds. The inside of the car is a ball of awe and joy.
Our gaze to the sights, lit under a beaming sun. The drive is long and we grow quiet again. I turn my eyes to that air freshener; the colors, the boat in the distance in its etched illustrations of … a clear sign of what's waiting for me.
"I'm really going to miss you two," Jess says after watching all this unfold inside this car and outside our windows.
"I'm going to miss you, too. So much," I say right back. Hope binds my heart. I dry my tears for the very last time.
A new life.
Hereafter.
...
The End.
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A/N: Alice for the win, am I right? But also Jess. Angel.
A very robust, multi-chap epilogue I'm excited about will be next. But I did screw it up a bit and Beta is pushing for better. I'll try to be quick.
Firstly, thanks to the We Love Mobward contest back in 2017 for pushing for this tale, and for the crazy podcasts I listen to that inspired this idea (there really was a Boss in a robe and flip flops for a disguise that walked his daughter to school in this attire, to her dismay). I wrote the one-shot and got awards becuase of this crazy Edward. It took a lot of me to finish it because it isn't a subject I know much of (can't you tell? lol). But it's really all about the relationships of the nutty characters, isn't it?
Thanks to Frannie for Beta'ing this beast from the beginning. Special thanks to May and Unwritten Selene for pre-reading in its entirety. You are all amazing. Thank you a million.
Can't wait to look back on this in years and know that, whatever is happening in life this very moment, is temporary, and future me has already figured it out.
Thanks for reading so faithfully and reviewing along the way. Love you readers the very most. You smashed that review button with grace every time. Thank you!