3,062A Hazy Shade of Winter
Please note: This story starts off in 2004 with a 17-year-old Bella but quickly jumps forward to 2007 with an almost 20-year-old Bella in college. The story is an entirely AU piece, so nothing from the books or movies occurs in this tale.
Chapter 1: A Girl Could Dream
2004 Phoenix, Arizona
Bella roused slowly. As she lay in her comfortable bed, she smiled, feeling perfectly at rest. The bright sun was shining down on her face through the open window, and she kept her eyes closed to avoid being jarred awake too quickly. The warmth of the sun was pleasant on her pale skin, and she tossed her sheet aside to better soak up the sun's rays. Remembering that it was the first day of February vacation, she couldn't help but do a little happy dance in her head. Finally, she sat up and stretched her arms wide, working out any lingering stiffness in her muscles.
As she sat there, though, the comfort of her bed called to her, and she knew she was not quite ready to get up. So, she settled back down against her pillows, taking a moment to savor the peace of the morning. She could hear several birds chirping outside, and their melody helped wake her up enough to finally open her eyes. After letting them adjust to the brightness of her room, she sat up again, knowing it would stick this time. She had slept soundly the previous night, and while she couldn't remember her dreams, none had been troubling, which was all she could ask for.
Swinging her legs over the side of the bed, Bella stood up and stretched once more, her toes curling into the soft rug on the floor. She walked over to her CD player and turned it on low, as she often liked music playing softly in the background.
With her mind finally firing on all cylinders, she reflected on her previous week at school. While nothing bad had happened to her per se, it had not been the best week for her. She had finally admitted to herself that she was not happy and wanted more out of life. She knew that her repressed nature was not doing her any favors. Just before she had fallen asleep, she had made a vow to herself to really try harder and had drifted off thinking of different ways she could improve her life.
As she grabbed her clothes and headed for the shower, Bella knew that the first thing she had to change was for 'Bella the eternal wallflower' to be gone, hopefully replaced with a more confident version of herself who, maybe, talked to boys. She knew it wouldn't be easy to change, but she had to try. Of course, thinking about making such life-altering changes was a lot easier than actually doing it, but she was determined to give it her all. One thing she had going for her was knowing her friends would help her in any way they could.
After showering and getting dressed, Bella headed to the kitchen already smelling the comforting aroma of fresh coffee. She didn't drink coffee herself but she quite liked the smell. She would have gone straight to the cupboard to grab herself a pop tart, but her attention was diverted seeing her mom at the kitchen table with the biggest grin on her face. "Hey, Mom. What's up?" Bella inquired, a touch of apprehension in her voice. She knew it could really be anything and hoped whatever her mom told her wouldn't be too crazy or outlandish.
"Bella, I have the best news," Renee exclaimed, her grin stretching from ear to ear. "So, my friend Allison was all set to go to Vegas with her boyfriend, Fred, but they broke up last night..." As Renee spoke, she struggled to maintain a composed expression, recalling the conversation she had with Allison about the breakup. It turned out Fred was into the orgy scene, and thought it would be a good idea to surprise Allison with one at his place without telling her. When Allison walked in, she saw... well, Allison hadn't divulged the details, but the bottom line was, their relationship was good and over. Last night, as Allison had been shit talking Fred, she had made it clear that while she might be a freak in the sack, that didn't make her some 'orgy girl'. Grinning at her daughter, Renee quickly realized Bella was still waiting to hear the good news. "Well, of course, Fred's out of the picture now, and Allison invited me to go with her. I know your vacation just started, but you wouldn't mind if I took off for several days, would you? We could do something fun when I get back."
Looking at the hope in her mom's eyes, Bella, of course, knew she had no problems with her mom going off to Vegas. It wasn't like she was a child anymore... although thinking about it there had been several times when she had been and her mom had taken off then too… Truthfully, Bella was just happy to see her mom smile again as she hadn't quite been her usual chipper self since she broke up with Phil a few weeks ago. Plus, with her mom away, it would make it easier for her to work on herself. One of the areas she had decided on last night was that some new clothes would help in her goal of expanding her horizons.
"Sure, no problem, Mom. I hope you have a great time," Bella said, her words barely leaving her lips before Renee sprung from her chair, enveloping her in a tight hug. Bella couldn't help but smile, seeing how happy her mom was.
"Thank you, sweetie," Renee said happily while giving her daughter a good squeeze. Finally letting go, she couldn't help but add, "You know, if you ever want to go to Vegas, we could go together. It's literally the greatest place on Earth. I know all the best strip clubs we could go to. You wouldn't believe what some of the men are packing…"
"Mom!" Bella yelled, interrupting whatever was going to come out of her mom's mouth. "Still 17 here. Maybe someday, but… well, ask me again when I have some more life experience, okay?" She certainly wasn't ready to go to any strip clubs, but she had just been chiding herself for not broadening her horizons. Maybe with some work, she would be open to such a thing, and she kind of did want to know what those men were packing. She felt her face blush, imagining how her mom would have finished that sentence.
"I understand, sweetie," Renee said, quickly changing the subject as she noticed Bella's face turning into a tomato. "So, you're free on vacation for a whole week. Any plans? Since I'm going to be gone, you know, you could throw a wild party… just don't burn the house down." Renee smiled, knowing her daughter well enough that there was about a zero percent chance of any parties being thrown.
With a smile at her mom, Bella tried to regain her composure. "I'll keep that in mind. Actually, I'm thinking of getting some new clothes to spruce up my school wardrobe. You know, see if it can help me land a guy, because what I'm currently wearing sure isn't helping the cause." Bella glanced down at herself. It seemed her current ensemble of shorts paired with various colored shirts wasn't doing it for the local male population at West Phoenix High. She realized she needed to step up her game and start wearing more mature clothes like her friends had been doing for the last few years.
"That's a great idea, honey. If you'd like, I can help you go shopping when I get back?" Renee was thrilled hearing this. She didn't want to say anything, as she knew how self-conscious Bella was about these types of things, but she still dressed like a 10-year-old boy.
"Thanks, Mom, but I'll probably go with my friends. I'm going to call Amber later and see what ideas she has," Bella responded, pleased with her mom's positive response.
Renee got up and walked over to her purse on the countertop. Pulling out her wallet, she rifled through the many cards within. Finally, she found the one she was looking for. "Here, take this. It's my Victoria's Secret membership card," she said, offering it to Bella with a warm smile. "It will give you 15% off any purchase. Treat yourself to something nice, on me. Okay."
Bella accepted the card with a smile. "Thanks, Mom," she said, humoring her, knowing there was no way she had the guts to shop at a lingerie store. She would literally need to become a whole different person to even contemplate that one.
Two days later, Bella made her way over to her friend Amber's place. Her mom was off in Vegas doing who knows what... or whom, and Bella had spent the last couple of days relaxing peacefully. It was nice having the house to herself, but when Amber called that afternoon, saying she was back from visiting her grandparents in Texas and was free to help Bella with her wardrobe situation, she eagerly agreed to meet up.
Once Bella arrived at Amber's, and Amber's mom discovered she was home alone, she insisted Bella join them for dinner. Bella certainly didn't mind, as Amber's mom was an amazing cook. After the delicious meal, Bella and Amber retreated to her room to discuss styles and colors for Bella's new wardrobe. Amber was full of ideas, many of which sounded great to Bella. To top it off, Amber let her try on a lot of her clothes since they were roughly the same size. Looking in the mirror, Bella had to admit she looked better in clothes that were more womanly, as they enhanced her figure tremendously.
After trying on what seemed like dozens of outfits, Bella and Amber called their other best friends, Chrissy and Sandy, and they all agreed to go shopping at the mall the next day to start finding Bella some new outfits. Sandy suggested they should also visit the salon to get their hair dyed and really change things up. Fortunately, Amber and Chrissy balked at the idea, preferring their blonde locks. Bella was relieved, as she rather liked her brunette hair too, especially after Sandy mentioned something about green and red streaks. Yikes. Bella and Amber lost track of time chatting with their friends, and suddenly, Bella noticed it was already dark outside. She hadn't anticipated staying out this late. Quickly bidding Amber, Sandy, and Chrissy goodnight, and thanking Amber's mom for the meal, she hurriedly left to get home.
As Bella walked home, she noted how all the streets seemed deserted. Most likely, everyone was staying cool in their air-conditioned houses to escape the oppressive heat that lingered even at this late hour. Living in the suburbs of Phoenix, it felt like she was walking past the same house over and over again, with rows of identical homes stretching endlessly in the little area she called home. Amber's house was only four long blocks away from Bella's, so she never minded visiting, but that was about the limit she could travel on foot. Neither she nor Amber could get to Chrissy or Sandy's houses without a ride.
In front of her, Bella saw the convenience store that had been a favorite of hers but sadly had been shut for several years now. It was a shame, as she and her friends used to stop there all the time for slushies when they were younger, and she missed sucking on that delicious red liquid. Just before passing the boarded-up store, she heard a loud crash that shattered the silence on the deserted street. Bella paused. What was that? Her curiosity piqued, she decided to investigate, slowly walking around to the back where the parking lot was and where she thought the noise had originated. With each step, her instincts started screaming at her, getting louder and louder in her head to run away as fast as she could. Yet, for some reason, whenever she was near danger, she rarely listened to that inner voice of self-preservation.
As she reached the back of the convenience store, a flickering streetlight illuminated the parking lot. Suddenly, she heard another loud crash, causing her to jump in fright. Her heart pounding, she looked towards the source of the noise and saw... a stray cat rummaging through some trash bins, searching for food.
Bella let out a breath, her heart still racing from the fright the cat had given her. She chided herself for her reckless curiosity, realizing she could have walked into the middle of a murder or some crazy shit like that. Shaking her head with a wry smile, she turned and continued walking back towards her house.
Opening the front door, Bella went straight to her room and laid down to think. Amber had given her a lot of great ideas for outfits that would look good on her. She pictured herself walking down the school halls, looking all hot, and couldn't help but smile. Who knows, maybe she could even get a boyfriend before she went off to college. A girl could dream.
2007 Boston, Massachusetts
Bella's eyes snapped open, her body jerking upright in one swift motion, her breath catching sharply in her throat as if startled awake by some unseen force. As her mind tried to get a grip she found herself starting to hyperventilate. She had experienced some weird dreams in the past but nothing like that. She didn't know what to make of it. The violence… Why would her subconscious even have conjured up something so awful. She was trying hard to control her breathing but she was having difficulty.
"Are you okay, Bella?" Stacy said groggily, looking across the darkened room. Bella had woken her up, but as she glanced at her friend's silhouette in the darkness, she couldn't muster any anger; Bella genuinely seemed distressed.
Bella didn't like that she had disturbed her friend's sleep. She tried harder to regain her composure. "I'm sorry, Stacy," she sputtered out breathlessly. "Bad dream. Go back to sleep. I'll be okay. Really, sorry." Finally getting her breathing back to normal, Bella laid back down on her bed. She felt her forehead, and there was a sheen of sweat on her brow.
Glancing at the alarm clock beside her bed, Bella saw it was only 5:00 a.m. She craned her neck to look out the window, spotting an almost full moon in the night sky. She didn't feel like going back to sleep, but it was still too early to get up. Taking a deep breath, she slowly let it out, working to calm her mind. Over the years, she had read many books on relaxation techniques, having been pretty high-strung as a teenager. She internally repeated to herself: "It was just a dream. A weird, disturbing dream, yes, but one that has no bearing on your real life." As she repeated these words of wisdom, she smiled, feeling her tension lessen. Instead of dwelling on negative thoughts, she focused on the upcoming week. It was a significant one for her; in just seven days, she would be leaving her awkward teen years behind. She was turning twenty and, in most respects, she was looking forward to it.
After high school, Bella had said goodbye to her mom and friends and headed off to Boston to attend Boston University. She was majoring in literature and truly loving the college experience. All the hard work she had put in during her final years of high school had paid off. While it hadn't done much for her back in Phoenix, in Boston, she felt like a different person. Making friends had come much easier, and by the end of her freshman year, she had a close-knit group of good friends.
But more importantly to Bella, she had finally found a long-term boyfriend. After some very awkward one-and-done dates in Phoenix and a few dates during her freshman year, she had finally met David, who turned out to be the perfect boyfriend in many ways. They went out often and had a great time on their dates, whether they were eating out or staying in to watch a movie. David was funny, smart, and, Bella would freely admit, quite attractive. Many of her friends confided in her that they were jealous and felt she had really lucked out with David. They had been dating for over a year now, and while Bella was happy, certain issues were starting to intrude on her mind more and more as she approached the end of her teenage years.
While David was great, their romantic life hadn't progressed as much as Bella would have liked. Initially, this was fine with her, as she had never had a boyfriend before and needed time to feel comfortable before advancing their relationship. Sure, they kissed, and when David got a little handsy, Bella wouldn't complain as god did those moments feel amazing. However, beyond that, they hadn't gone any further. After their first year together, Bella finally brought it up with David, but he always had some reason or another that seemed reasonable for why they hadn't taken that significant step forward yet.
While it truly wouldn't change anything, Bella didn't really want to end her teen years still a virgin. She had one week left for her to get David to give it up. She smiled, thinking it shouldn't be that hard to convince a guy to have sex with her. After all, she wasn't as shy as she once was. Maybe she could express what she wanted through actions, and they could go from there. She was finally ready for that adult relationship… really ready. She knew if she hadn't finally started touching herself when she got to college, she was sure she would have exploded by now from the tension of not getting any. She giggled, covering her mouth quickly as she didn't want to wake up Stacy again, who she heard snoring lightly across the darkened room.
Thinking about the upcoming week, Bella remembered she had to call Chrissy, as her birthday was only four days before hers. While she loved living in Boston, she missed her friends from back home, although none of them lived in Phoenix anymore either. They had all spread out across the country for college. Bella also missed her mom and her mom's longingly unique parenting style. To Bella's great shock, her mom's parenting skills seemed to finally kick in right around her senior year—about 18 years too late, but still, Bella appreciated the gesture and sentiment behind her mom's growth into being more like all the other moms. Well, maybe not just like all the other mothers. She was still a free spirit without a filter, but she had really grown into being a parent. Bella knew her mom missed her greatly, as she called often.
To her great relief, Bella felt herself getting drowsy again. She had gone to bed around 1:00 after seeing a late-night movie with David, and four hours of sleep just wouldn't do. She needed a full eight hours, or she would be a real terror the next day. Remembering that her first class wasn't until noon, she knew she could sleep in. As her mind started to wander, she thought about the frat party at David's fraternity, which was happening the day before her birthday. That would be the perfect place to... put her plan into action... perfect red dress, skimpy and stunning... David wouldn't know... As her thoughts grew more muddled and her eyelids grew heavier, she sank deeper into her pillow. Images of the party and David's surprised face began to float through her mind. They embraced, and the images all blended into a pleasant haze. Soon, Bella drifted off completely, and her dreams were nothing but pleasurable.
Bella will have an amazing story arc in this tale. She starts off similarly to her character in the books, but as the story progresses, well, the sky's the limit. Comments are welcome and appreciated.