Making a Tyrant
A Mario Fanfic by Emperor K. Rool
Darklands, 30 years before the events of the first Super Mario Bros.
Twelve-year-old Bowser Koopa, younger son of Prince Morton of Darklands, third-in-line to the throne, squirmed in the chair next to his older brother, Prince Ludwig, as the Koopa princes sat facing their parents.
Bowser didn't want this day to be happening. In fact, he was sure it wasn't. This was all some kind of nightmare...yes, that was it! This was just too horrible to be real. Any minute know he would wake up and his mom would open his door, smile at him and invite him to breakfast. He loved her smile. The dream version of her was smiling at him now. That made the nightmare a little better.
"Boys, you know we both love you and will never stop loving you," She warmly said, prompting Bowser to think that this might be a good dream after all...but not for long. "However, your father and I want different things out of life, so we're getting a div—"
Bowser didn't even hear the second syllable before being rudely snapped into the realization that this dreadful conversation which had been brewing his entire life was now actually taking place.
What felt like a knot in his stomach worked its way up through his chest as everything went silent. He could tell his parents' mouths were moving but he couldn't hear clearly. It was like he was submerged in water. Speaking of water, his vision became blurry, and his eyes felt wet, then he felt tears and snot streaming down his face.
The parents both noticed Bowser's reaction. Morton started to get up, but Kylie was faster, holding the preteen Dragon Koopa, as he cried onto her under-shell.
He could feel a wave of unconditional love wash over him as she gently stroked his spiked shell and said, "Don't worry, Bowser. Your mama's not going anywhere."
He noticed that his father and brother were now talking to each other, but he didn't care about the content, only occasionally catching a word like "Scandal" from his brother or "Can't be helped," from his father.
Bowser didn't care about the scandal. He only wanted his family to be together—his real family—not the Magikoopa Kammy whom his father spent so much time with when his mother was away, or her brother, Kamek, who was constantly around his mom. It was then that Bowser knew what was really going on.
"You're leaving each other for them aren't you?!"
The sheer amount of venom in Bowser's voice surprised even the young Dragon Koopa himself. Rarely was he this angry with his father, and almost never with his mother. To be honest he was angrier with his father even now. Prince Morton was always chatting with Kammy over the phone and was around her far more often than Kylie was alone with Kamek in any capacity.
Ludwig let out a loud sigh and rested his palm on his head. Still, he couldn't be too hard on his little brother. Bowser was two years younger and hadn't hit puberty yet.
"Please, Bowser," Morton pleaded, "Your mother and I tried to make things work..."
"No, you didn't!" the young Koopa shouted. "You've always liked Kammy!"
Kylie ran her fingers through Bowser's orange hair. "I think we should tell them," she said to her soon to be ex-husband.
"Tell us what?" Bowser demanded.
"He's too young to understand!" Morton countered.
Ludwig had had enough and shouted, "For Stars' sakes, Dad! He's twelve, not five! He's old enough!"
Bowser looked at his fuchsia haired brother. He silently thanked the stars that his elder brother cared about him, even if he got annoyed with him at times.
Ludwig met Bowser's gaze. "Dad wanted to marry Kammy before he even knew Mom. But Grandma didn't think a Magikoopa would be the best future queen after she had just married and taken the last name of a Koopa Troopa when she was young."
Bowser knew that Koopa Troopas were the most common of all Koopas, and that his paternal grandfather was born a commoner.
"Because Dad married Mom, we are three-fourths Dragon Koopa. We're intimidating. When we grow up we will be bigger and stronger. We can already breathe fire. We wouldn't have that if shell-less little Kammy had been our mom."
"But why do we have to be Dragon Koopas?" Bowser asked
"Because every monarch of Darklands for the last 200 years has been at least half. Our physical power, real or imagined, masks our loss of actual political power. I'm going to be king but I'm just a symbol. I can't make, enforce, or interpret any laws. Heck, I won't even be able to vote!"
"But why?" Bowser asked.
"Because it's the constitution," Morton finally said.
Bowser felt a little relieved that his father was finally engaging him.
"So, you never really loved Mom?"
"We both love you," Morton said, evading an answer.
Bowser didn't believe him.
"I hate you!" the young Koopa shouted at his father, and before Morton could say anything, Bowser suddenly hugged Kylie and began whimpering.
"Take me away from here, Mom. I want to live with you."
Shocked that everything had fallen apart so rapidly, the auburn-haired Dragon Koopa just embraced her son and patted his shell, saying nothing.
Later that day
Hours later, Bowser was safe, if not entirely emotionally stable, playing video games from his bed in the one story, three bedroom...house his mom had bought with the divorce money. There had been no court case. Morton was willing to pay Kylie anything to avoid a trial. He'd make an announcement on the news tonight. The papers were already signed.
Bowser, however, was let down. Why was the house so tiny? There was no grand foyer—the one at Grandma Wendy's castle was big enough to hold this entire house—no upstairs (unless you counted the attic), no servant's rooms—or servants for that matter. Bowser felt, in short, like his dad had ripped him and his mother off.
He paused the game and asked his mother the reason for this when she came in to check on him.
"Because, Dear, this is a normal Darklands home. It only seems tiny to you because you've spent your whole life in castles."
"And where are the servants?"
She gently ruffled Bowser's hair. "Commoners don't have servants, Dear, and I'm a commoner now."
"But I'm not!" Bowser threw the console controller on the floor. "This stinks!"
Kylie set down next to Bowser and put a gentle hand on each of his shoulders, as he huffed, and slowly began to relax.
"You can always go back to the palace if you want to be with your father. Neither of us has sole custody of you or Ludwig. I just brought you with me because you said you wanted to come."
Bowser smiled and, moving only his head, met his mother's gaze.
"Mom, I'll live like a commoner if I get to stay with you."
"It's probably better for you anyway," she said.
That was right, Bowser realized: Now he didn't have any royal duties, nor would he ever. Ludwig was second in line after their Dad, and in time his kids would push Bowser even further down the list.
Bowser smiled at his mom. "Let's leave the royal stuff to Dad and Ludwig. We're free!"
"Yes, dear..." Kylie took a deep breath and closed her eyes, "We are!"
At that moment, the phone rang.
Kylie nervously patted Bowser's shoulders and looked at the caller ID on the phone's screen. It was Kamek.
She jerked her head to look at Bowser. "Mommy has to take this call!" She reached for the phone but Bowser shouted, "It's Kamek, isn't it?!"
Kylie let the phone ring and looked at the screen.
"Bowser, you don't understand!"
"Then make me understand!" The twelve-year-old demanded.
Kylie sat still for a minute, thinking. Then an idea struck her.
"Bowser, I want you to listen to this call."
Not giving him a chance to say no, she answered the phone and turned on the speaker.
"Hello, Kamek," Kylie said as Bowser smacked his own palm across his face. It was bad enough that his dad had never really loved his mom, but for her to be so close to their archenemy's brother...
"Kammy told me, missing no opportunity to rub in my face, that she will be the new Princess of Darklands. How are your kids handling it?" Kamek's voice said over the speaker.
The question caught Bowser's attention. What did his mom's boyfriend care about him and Ludwig? He peeked through his fingers at his mom as she spoke.
"Ludwig has been expecting this for a while, but Bowser is having a rough time." Kylie reached out to ruffle Bowser's hair.
"Poor guy," Kamek said, further shocking Bowser. Did he hear genuine concern in his mom's boyfriend's voice?
"He blames you and Kammy," Kylie said.
"I suppose it's only natural. He probably sees us as the reason his..." Kamek then realized what was really the issue.
"My Stars! Does he think that we're a couple?"
Before Kylie could respond Bowser stood on the bed and shouted into the phone, "Yes! And I think you and your sister are the reason my parents don't love each other anymore! You have planned to break up my parents from the beginning!"
Kamek was silent on his end, knowing that must be exactly how the young Koopaling saw it, when nothing could be further from the truth.
Kylie stared angrily at Bowser, showing her rarely-seen disciplinarian side.
"That was a very mean thing you just said, Bowser. I had never even met Kamek until after I married your father, when he was standing up to your father for his late night visits to Kammy."
Bowser didn't like seeing his mother angry and felt sorry for provoking her. He hung his head low.
"I'm sorry, Mom."
"Don't be too hard on him, Kylie," Kamek said through the phone. "He doesn't know the whole story..."
"Well, he needs to!" Kylie shot back.
Bowser actually felt grateful to Kamek for sticking up for him, which surprised Bowser, as did the fact that Kamek had seemed to want his parents to stay together.
Bowser lifted his head and looked at his mother. "Why did Kamek what you and Dad to stay together."
"Because his sister is a social-climbing jerk who has been nothing but cruel to him his entire life. Imagine how much crueler she could be if he had to call her, 'Your Highness,' all the time." Kylie made no attempt to shield her son from the venom in her voice directed at Kammy.
As Bowser locked eyes with her, he seemed to understand. Kylie's face however, did not soften. Nor did her tone.
"Kamek isn't my romantic partner, son. We just lean on each other for support against Kammy. She is just an uppity little—"
"Witch?" Kamek offered, making Kylie realize how far she had almost gone in front of her son.
Her face quickly softened, and she began laughing. Kammy was a practicing witch after all.
"I thought you were going to say a word that rhymed with that, "Bowser said, starting to get the joke.
"Well, she's that too."
Now all three Koopas erupted in laughter. Maybe Kamek wasn't so bad after all, Bowser began to think.
Crocodile Ilse, the same day
King K. Rool watched the news report on the scandalous divorce in the Darklands Royal Family with rapt fascination.
K. Rool knew well that from his own previous position as propaganda minister under his father and the history of his Roolenstein cousins that scandals could destroy empires.
His grandfather's second cousins had destroyed the Kremling Empire because of the Empress's reliance on an unwashed vagrant with mystical powers to treat the heir's immune system disorder. Everyone assumed there was an affair and that the Emperor was blind to the conspiracy going on in his own bedroom, let alone how his policies affected the people. No one stood by him during the revolution.
Paradoxically, a scandal was what saved Grandpa G. Rool from his cousins' fate. K. Rool's great-great-grandfather had been born with an inverted arching spine, pushing his abdomen out and making him appear morbidly obese. Though the eldest son of the Emperor at that time, no one wanted a fat successor. He was stripped of his imperial status and passed his new rank and spinal condition down the family line to his grandson, who as a non-imperial was spared and actually joined the revolutionary party.
This grandson, K. Rool's grandfather, was able to cultivate his image as the only one who get things done, take over the party, and during the patriotic fervor of the Kremling-Shy Guy war declared himself "King of the People's Republic of Greater Kremia," the title K. Rool himself held today.
Spin was the key to everything, K. Rool mused as he turned off the television. The question before him was how to spin the events in Darklands to his advantage.
There were several key differences between the Darklands royals of today and the Kremling Emperors—namely that Darklands, like the Mushroom Kingdom—his other great rival—was a constitutional monarchy, whereas the Kremling Emperors had been absolute monarchs, which they, actually, still were.
One thing about leadership that had always stood out to K. Rool, whether monarchal, dictatorial, or democratic, was the importance of a narrative to support the institution and its present head. As the former minister of propaganda, K. Rool had seen lots of movies, and knew that the same themes that made a compelling character on screen made a compelling narrative for a movement in real life. He also knew that while everyone was supposed to root for the hero, more often than not, it was the villain who stole show. He also knew from the premiership-turned-reign of his grandfather and the reign of his father that a leader could be the villain of their country's own narrative and still be in equal parts both loved and feared. That was possible in the one-party police state over which K. Rool was both monarch and dictator, but not in the multiparty constitutional systems of Darklands and the Mushroom Kingdom. But destiny was on K. Rool's side for the news bulletin he had just seen, combined with his own voluminous intelligence dossiers, had provided him with a tool to remake Darklands in his own image.
The Royal family was divided over a divorce, and the more mature Prince Ludwig was being level-headed about the mess, but, according to his Kremling refugee/double agent butler in the royal household Prince Bowser was not taking things so well...
If K. Rool could make Bowser hate Darklands constitutional system, as Ludwig had explained it, and killed off both Morton and Ludwig...he'd have a despotic Bowser in the making. He couldn't kill them off just yet though...he wanted Bowser to spend a few years as the party prince used to getting everything he wanted with no responsibilities. Then he'd truly hate his father and older brother for dying on him. Of course, the influence of his mother, Kylie, would also have to be dealt with in a way that damaged Bowser...she'd have to go too. The only question was who to eliminate when.