2Word Count: 4061
Warnings: NA
Pulling Strings
Tony groaned as he blinked his eyes open. "Well, this couldn't be much worse."
Except, he heard a noise, and turned his head to see Steve, Clint and Natasha were in the cell with him.
"Of course you're all here," he muttered. "I just had to tempt fate."
"We're not exactly jumping for joy, Start," Clint muttered, shaking his head.
Tony rolled his eyes and tried to take stock of himself. He was injured, that much was obvious. How injured was yet to be determined, as was whether the others knew about it.
He'd prefer that they didn't. Showing weakness in front of his former teammates wasn't really on his agenda.
Whoever had kidnapped him clearly hadn't checked him for weapons before they threw him into the cell; an odd decision on the whole, given who he was. He still had the repulser watch wrapped around his wrist, and the knife he'd taken to harnessing on his thigh was also still there.
Tony forced himself to sit up, and then shuffled back against the wall. He took stock of the others quickly, not wanting them to see him looking at them.
It was odd, seeing them not actually in the field. Ever since the so-called 'Civil War', he saw the team very little. He'd fought hard to have them brought home, but then once he'd actually managed it, he'd avoided them since.
The UN had even agreed to him working alone, unless absolutely necessary. Rhodey joined him when he could, and Tony had no desire to go back to the way it used to be, regardless of Steve's given thoughts on the matter.
Speaking of Steve, he seemed as perfect as he ever had; not a single hair out of place. Asshole.
Clint and Natasha both had signs of an attack; ripped clothes and a few cuts and bruises, but overall, he looked alright.
One less thing to worry about, Tony supposed.
"Do any of you know anything about who did this, or why we're here?" he asked, his tone clipped.
"We think it's Doom," Natasha replied.
Tony frowned. "He was a bit dead, the last I heard."
"Well. If his goons were to be believed, not quite as dead as we might have hoped."
Rolling his eyes, Tony muttered, "Perfect. Do any of you have anything useful on you?"
Steve shook his head, but Natasha and Clint handed over three guns and two knives between them. Ignoring the pain in his ribs, Tony laid out the guns on the floor, and eyed them speculatively, his mind working a mile a minute.
When he started stripping the guns, Steve took a step towards him. "What are you doing?"
"Right now, I'm too tense to pretend that I like you," Tony said, through gritted teeth. "And no offence, Steve, but I'm not going to sit and explain the details to you, when you won't understand a word of it."
Steve scowled. "I just want to help you."
"Help by getting out of my space then," Tony snapped.
Huffing, Steve stomped away, though of course, in the small cell, he didn't get far. Tony could hear the three of them muttering between them, but he paid them little mind.
There was nothing that they could say that could possibly bother him anymore.
He quickly made the three guns into one, more powerful gun, and attached it to his repulsor watch.
"Move," he warned them.
Standing up made him even more aware that his ribs were not in their best shape, and he barely managed to stop himself from whimpering.
They didn't need to know about that.
Tony busted the lock with the repulsor powered gun, wincing when the force of it sent shockwaves through him, stressing his already stressed ribs. He led the way out of the cell, despite Steve's protests, only to find them strangely empty.
Who kidnaps people—especially trained superheroes—and then just lets them escape?
Pushing through a door, Tony paused when he saw Bruce, Thor, Rhodey and Barnes all sitting together on the stairs. They stared back at him, guilty looks on all of their faces.
"What the hell is going on?" Tony demanded.
"We, uh, well. We came to rescue you," Rhodey hedged, and Tony narrowed his eyes at him.
"And?"
"We got rid of the good squad holding you, but we thought, maybe, that if you had to work together for a while, then… maybe you could start moving past the issues you've all got with each other. So, we just… waited. I guess."
Tony nodded. "Right. And while you were all out here drinking tea and biscuits, I stressed my likely already fractured ribs to get us out of a cell that you could have easily already released us from. Brilliant. Go team!"
Not waiting for anyone else to speak—although he could hear Steve spluttering about him being injured—Tony walked away from all of them.
Being held captive by villains was one thing; being held by his 'team' was another entirely.
He was so done with all of this.
…
"I can't believe that you hid fractured ribs!"
Tony looked up from his table to see Steve standing in the door of his hospital suite. "Why are you here? Did I give you any reason to think I wanted you to visit?"
"Tony… we can't continue on like this."
"It's working just fine for me," Tony replied, dismissively. "If there's a problem, work it out with your team."
"You're a part of my team!" Steve threw his hands up in the air, clearly frustrated.
Tony could hear the emotion in his voice, and could see it in his eyes, but it didn't change anything. Couldn't, because Tony was still angry about things that Steve didn't even know.
He knew that that was a little unfair, but it didn't change the way he felt. It didn't change that he couldn't stomach being in the same place as Steve for any length of time.
"I'm not," he replied flatly. "I was never an Avenger; check the paperwork and you'll see my name down as 'Consultant'. We work fine together when we cross each other in the field, so… there's nothing to fix."
"You are an Avenger," Steve argued. "And… there's so much to fix, Tony. I know that I messed up real bad with you, and I know that a lot of what happened was on me. I know that, and I want to make it up to you, but I can't do that if you won't let me."
"I don't need you to make it up to me, Steve. I just need you to leave me alone."
"What if I can't?" Steve asked, voice suddenly low. He sounded exhausted.
Tony shrugged, wincing when it disturbed his ribs. "That's for you to work out, Steve. I'd like to be alone now."
There was a long pause, but Steve finally did as Tony was asking and left. The silence was deafening in his absence.
…
"Tony, you can't carry on like this," Pepper said, shaking her head. "I hate to see you so unhappy."
They were sitting in the office, a regular haunt for Tony these days. He could see the worry etched on her face, and it just made him hate himself even more.
He didn't want her to be worried about him.
"I'm fine, Pep."
"Uh huh. Sure." She rolled her eyes at him. "You know that you can't lie to me."
Chuckling, Tony shook his head, but then he sighed. "I, uh. I've been thinking about moving back to California."
She frowned. "How are you going to get back for missions? Even in the suit, it's a bit of a way."
Tony shrugged. "I was actually thinking about retiring the suit. It's… I'm not getting any younger, you know? How long can I really get knocked around in an old tin can anyway? It was a means to an end, Pep, to find and destroy the remains of the weapons that Obie sold under the table, and I've done that. I'm just… I'm so tired."
"You know that I've never exactly been enamoured by you being Iron Man," she hedged, squeezing his shoulder. "But you love it, Tony. You have since the first suit that you made when you came back, even when it was hurting you. I… can you really give it up? Will it make you happier?"
Tony closed his eyes, and he leant back in his seat. "I don't know, Pep. I just… I don't know anything, anymore."
…
"Sir, the UN is requesting your assistance on a mission," JARVIS said, interrupting Tony's work.
"Is it absolutely necessary, J?"
"It would appear so, sir. The Avengers are… somewhat out of their depth. War Machine is already enroute to the scene, but your assistance would certainly help."
Sighing, Tony nodded. "Alright, J. Tell them that I'm on my way."
…
Tony was the first to wake up.
He was still in the suit, though the suit wasn't actually in one piece. He must have landed hard. He struggled his way out of what was left of it, and glanced around.
He saw the rest of the Avengers—all of them, plus Rhodey this time—splayed out across the floor of the… were they in an ice cave?
What the actual fuck?
Rubbing his head, he realised that they were in an ice cave, and what was worse, it was caved in on all four sides.
They were stuck.
A groan caught his attention, and he looked to the side to see Barnes waking up.
"Stark?"
"That's me."
"What's going on?"
"Oh, well. At least you're as clueless as me," Tony said, rolling his eyes. "I have no idea."
Checking on Rhodey—the closest one to him, in every sense—Tony breathed out a sigh of relief and moved onto Bruce, and then Thor. Barnes, following Tony's example, checked Nat, Clint, and then Steve. A mutter told Tony that Steve was waking up.
"S'everyone okay?"
"Knocked out by whatever we were, but otherwise, they seem fine," Tony replied.
He might be bitter, but he didn't want any of them to die. The Avengers were infinitely more useful when they were alive, after all.
"It was Hydra," Steve said, forcing himself into a sitting position, as Bucky checked him over feverishly. Tony viciously pushed down the jealousy that was flaring up inside of him. "They… I think a… gas? And then the snow caved around us."
"SHIELD will be looking for us," Tony said, his tone flat. "They'll get us out."
He was trying very hard not to panic, but being trapped in a cave—even one so cold that it was the furthest thing removed from Afghanistan that was possible—wasn't at the top of his to-do list.
The others were waking slowly, each of them groaning as they sat up, checking in with each other.
"You okay, Tones?" Rhodey asked, a significant look of understanding in his eyes.
"Fine," Tony replied, pulling himself even tighter into a ball. "Cold."
"We should all huddle for warmth," Clint said, surprising Tony. Of anyone to suggest a group hug, he wouldn't have thought that it would be him. Apparently, Clint could read as much on his face, because he added, "I've seen it in survival movies. It's a thing."
Bucky wrapped himself around Steve, while Clint and Nat both burrowed close to him on his other side. Thor, Bruce, and Rhodey all took a few moments longer, but eventually, the seven of them were all huddled together.
Rhodey raised a hand gesture Tony over, but Tony ignored him. He didn't want to 'huddle'. He wanted to get the hell out of there.
"I might be able to get the suit working enough to blast the snow," he muttered, shifting slightly towards the suit.
"Tones, come here," Rhodey said firmly. "Trying to blast your way out could cause more harm than help, and I know you know that. The suit doesn't look in its best shape, either. You'll freeze before you get anywhere with it."
A shiver ran through Tony. He knew that Rhodey was right, he really did. He was a genius, and he knew the odds. He just… really didn't want to play puppy pile with people that he didn't even like being in the same room with.
He shifted across the space and burrowed into Rhodey's side, ignoring the way the others seemed to be moving to make space for him.
"I don't want to be 'that guy'," Barnes said. "But anyone without… advantages should be in the middle."
Tony knew what he was getting at… and the logical part of him agreed, but he wasn't particularly interested in being 'logical'.
They rearranged themselves, until they were all looking at Tony, waiting for him to duck into the space they'd cleared for him. He was going to refuse, but then he made the mistake of looking directly at Steve.
It wouldn't take a genius to realise that the super soldier wasn't doing so well.
"Please, Tony," he whispered, and with startling clarity, Tony realised just how hard this would be for Steve, who spent seventy years frozen in the ocean.
Tony had always been the one to settle him after a nightmare before the team split, and he had the same look in his eyes as he'd always had then.
Putting his own needs aside for a moment—while knowing that he would regret the hell out of it when they were out of the cave—he shuffled into the middle of the group until he was wrapped in Steve's arms, with Thor pressed against his other side.
It was going to hurt later, he knew.
And he didn't know how he was going to come with that.
…
"There was a contentment in you that I haven't seen for years!" Rhodey argued. "Tony… go and speak to him! Clear this mess up, and let him back in! It's clear that you love him enough that you can let this anger go!"
"It's not that easy," Tony snarled, shaking his head.
It had been a week since SHIELD had flown in and saved them from their ice prison, and Tony had been hiding ever since. It really wasn't helping that the UN had planned to do a refit on the Compound, and Tony had given into hosting the team for the few weeks it would take.
They'd cheated and caught him when he was just waking up.
It was rude.
So, he was hiding. It was only now, a week later, that Rhodey had managed to get into the lab. The cheating cheat had brought Thor and Bruce with him.
"Why?" Rhodey asked.
"You just… you don't get it."
"Then help me understand!"
"He left me behind!" Tony shouted, before he rubbed his hand over his face. His tone lowered, he continued, "He… I thought that he loved me, okay? I thought we were… we were getting somewhere. And then, he disappeared, and the next thing I know, he's on the trial of Barnes and he didn't even tell me. Didn't come to me for help. Didn't… he left me behind way before Siberia."
He shook his head and turned away from them.
"None of you get it, because none of you saw the look on his face in that bunker. He would have killed me. He almost did. All for Barnes. And… I can't compete with that. I don't want to compete with that, because I don't want to fight for him."
"Tones—"
"I want him to want me enough that I don't have to fight. I'm so fucking tired."
The last words were little more than a whisper.
"Tony—"
Tony spun around and saw Steve standing in the doorway, a heartbroken look on his face.
"I hate all of you," Tony muttered, striding towards the elevator. "Fuck every single one of you."
"Tony, wait!" Steve shouted, running forwards to stop him from leaving. He managed to get into the elevator before the doors closed.
"Just leave me alone!"
"I can't!"
Tony pressed his face against the cool metal of the elevator.
"Tony… what you just said… I do love you. I do. I… I know I got single minded about Bucky, and I don't regret all of that, but I regret hurting you so much. I'm so sorry, for all of it."
"I don't want to have this conversation," Tony whispered. "I just want to be left alone."
"Tell me how I can convince you that I'm serious about you," Steve begged. "Please, Tony! I can't… I don't know how to… tell me how to make it better."
"Build a time machine," Tony replied, tiredly. "We can't change what happened, Steve. It did, and it sucks, but can't just… take it back. It doesn't work that way."
"But we can move past it," Steve said softly. "We can… we could go slowly. Start small. I'm not asking you to jump into a relationship with me. I'm just asking for you to… just give me a chance to show you that I can be good to you."
"And Barnes?"
"What about him?" Steve asked, suddenly confused. "He's my best friend, but that doesn't mean he's going to be a part of my relationship."
"You're not… the two of you aren't…" Tony whined wordlessly, unable to force the words out of his mouth, but Steve seemed to understand.
"No, Tony. Buck and I… we're like brothers. It's too close to incest for it to be comfortable even thinking about it."
"You… I thought—"
"I love you. I've loved you for a really long time, but you were with Pepper, and then when you weren't, and we were… but then, I found out about Buck, and I just… I guess I thought that I could explain everything to you afterwards. I know it was stupid, I was a dumbass about the whole thing, but…" Steve shook his head. "I don't deserve another chance, Tony, but I'm going to ask you for one anyway."
The doors of the elevator opened, and Tony stepped out into the penthouse. He looked back at Steve, and sighed heavily.
"I don't want to make promises that I can't keep, and I just… I need to think, okay? I just… I need to think."
"Whatever you need," Steve promised.
…
Almost an hour later, Tony was tossing and turning in his bed, unable to relax long enough to get any sleep. It had been the same all week, and he'd been getting by on hour long naps here and there on the sofa in his lab.
Coming to a decision that he figured that he could later blame on his exhaustion if he needed to, Tony asked JARVIS where Steve was.
"He's in his room, sir."
"Is he on his own?"
"Yes, sir. Should I alert him to your visit?"
"No… no, it's fine. I'll alert him myself. Thanks, J."
He got into the elevator, and pressed his head against the cold steel as it took him down the couple of floors to where he was housing the team.
"This is a really bad idea," he muttered to himself, as he stepped out. It didn't stop him though. Seconds later, he was standing outside of Steve's door.
Knocking, Tony leant against the wall.
He was just so tired; he didn't know what else to do.
"Tony?"
"Can I come in?"
"Of course."
Steve closed the door behind them with a quick snick, and he turned to look at Tony. Tony swayed on his feet.
"I can't sleep. I'm just… I'm so tired, Steve, but I can't… I can't sleep, and I haven't been able to sleep properly since the cave, and—"
"Okay, okay," Steve murmured, in a soothing tone. "Can I touch you?"
Tony had barely nodded his permission, before Steve had his hands on his shoulders, and was pushing him gently towards the bedroom. He carefully helped Tony lay down on the bed.
"Your bed isn't much different to mine, you know?" Tony protested weakly.
"No," Steve agreed. "But your bed doesn't have me in it, does it?"
He settled in beside Tony, and then gently tugged him closer, until Tony was laying on his chest with Steve's arms around him.
"Sleep, Tony," he murmured, stroking a soothing hand up and down his spine. "I've got you. Just sleep."
Tony was out in seconds.
…
When he woke, Tony was fuzzy and confused to open his eyes in a room that wasn't his own. As the memories of before he slept came back to him, he felt his heart sink when he realised that he was alone.
Was it really that bad sharing a bed with him that Steve couldn't even stay until Tony woke up?
Movement made him look up, and Steve opened the door, blinking when he saw that Tony was awake.
"I didn't expect you to be up yet," he said, his tone apologetic. "But I brought you coffee and breakfast."
Tony's eyes fell to the tray in Steve's hands, and he sat up so that Steve could put it carefully across his thighs.
"You didn't have to do this," Tony murmured, automatically picking up the coffee mug first.
Steve had made him pancakes. Tony hadn't had pancakes since… since the last time Steve had made them for him, in happier times when Tony hadn't realised just how far everything was going to go to shit.
"I don't have to do anything," Steve agreed, with a nervous smile. "But I want to. I've always wanted to be allowed to do things like this for you."
"Thanks. And, uh… thanks for last night. It probably wasn't fair of me to impose myself on you like I did, but… thanks."
"You've never been an imposition, Tony. I meant what I said last night. Every word of it."
Tony nodded, taking a bite of a pancake to give himself time to consider his words. "I want you. I love you, but I'm not sure if… I don't know if I trust myself."
When Steve frowned, Tony elaborated.
"I've never been an 'eggs all in one basket' type of guy, you know? But with you… I'd give you all of me, Steve, because of you… I don't know how to give you any less than that. I'm not sure I trust myself to be okay with us not working, and I definitely don't trust myself to not fuck up."
"It's not about not fucking up, Tony. We'll both make mistakes, because we're human. It's how we work to make up for that. You're not in this alone, Tony. We'll work together."
"Together, huh?" Tony said, lips tilting up slightly.
Steve nodded.
"I'm still not promising anything, but… I want this. I want you. So… I'm willing to work at it if you are.
The smile that Steve gave him was blinding.
…
Looking back, Tony couldn't help but think that fate was pulling strings in their favour. Such a series of events was unlikely, no matter the dangerous jobs that they did, and he couldn't deny just how close he'd been to giving up.
While usually, he scoffed in the face of so-called 'fate', but he couldn't deny that it sure felt like fate had brought him and Steve together, over and over until they fixed the chasm between them.
It didn't fix itself overnight, and the relationship between Steve and Tony wasn't the only problem the Avengers had to work out.
It was slow, and they stumbled more than once, but slowly, the team came back together to be a real team, following the lead of Tony and Steve, the way that they always had.
Tony and Steve dated. They took things slowly, though more often than not, Tony found himself wrapped up in Steve's arms when night fell, and sleep beckoned.
He found himself wondering how he'd ever slept without the soldier.
The Avengers never did return to the compound to live, except for the occasional overnight stay when training ran late, and the top floors of Avengers Tower thrived once more.
It wasn't perfect; it was something even better than perfect. It was real.
Tony wasn't so exhausted anymore, and when he was? Steve was there to pick him up. He couldn't really ask for more than that.