Drunk

Padmé Amidala had long grown accustomed to late nights in the Senate, poring over datapads filled with reports, proposals, and negotiations. Her work never seemed to end, but tonight felt different even from the supposed safety of her apartment. There was an uneasy tension in the air that made her glance at the chrono more often than usual even as the bill she'd spent the past week agonising over glowed temptingly in the dim light. She couldn't focus.

Anakin was late. He was supposed to be here thirty minutes ago.

She had seen it all before, of course – his recklessness and the unending determination to prove himself, the fearlessness that had once drawn her to him like a moth to a flame. Anakin Skywalker was an adventure. He was bold and brilliant and found new ways to make her heart race every time they stole a moment alone together, but tonight Padmé felt something different. Anxiety. A whisper of worry made her heart clench.

After another ten minutes, just as she was beginning to wonder if she should send a message to Obi-Wan, she heard the unmistakable sound of boots. The steps were uneven, shuffling, and the door slid open with a faint hiss.

Anakin stumbled into the living room, his black Jedi robes slightly askew and his normally intense blue eyes were glassy and unfocused. A grin spread across his face when he spotted her on the sofa, a lopsided, almost boyish smile. One she hadn't seen light up in handsome face in far too long.

"Padmé!" he exclaimed, his voice slurring just a little. "There you are!"

Padmé set down her datapad, her brow furrowing in concern. "Anakin… Have you been drinking?"

Anakin waved a hand dismissively, nearly losing his balance in the process. "Oh, just a little, my love," he said, dragging out the words. "Rex and the guys wanted to celebrate. Big victory for the Republic today and all that. Needed to… unwind." He giggled, a sound so unlike him that it sent a shiver down her spine.

She crossed the room quickly. She'd never seen him this way before. They'd shared drinks together here and there and gods knew she'd overindulged once or twice, but as she wracked her brain, Padmé couldn't remember a time when Anakin let himself go. He wasn't given the chance to relax and have some fun as often as he should. Most men his age were out doing this nightly! "You could have commed me, Ani," she chided gently, her voice a mix of concern and affection. "I was worried about you."

Anakin blinked at her as if trying to focus his bleary gaze. His black-gloved hand came up to smooth the furrow between her brows gently. "Didn't want you to worry, Angel… You're always worrying about everything. You don't have to. Not about me. I'm fine. I'm… invincible."

Padmé couldn't help but smile at that. Even in this state, he was a charmer through and through, full of bravado and sparkling charisma, but there was a vulnerability in his eyes that tugged at her heart. People really believed he thought that way, that nothing in the galaxy could come close to hurting him. The Hero with No Fear, they called him, but she knew better. She knew how afraid he could be, how much Anakin worried about the people he cared about. She sighed, gently guiding him to the couch. He flopped down heavily as soon as they were close enough, resting his head landing in her lap.

He looked up at her with a dreamy expression. "You're so beautiful, you know that?" he murmured, his fingers reaching up to brush a stray lock of hair from her face. "Even when you're angry with me… still beautiful."

Padmé laughed softly. How could anyone be angry with him like this? She wasn't a monster! "I'm not angry, Ani. You deserve to have your fun like anyone else, I was just worried about where you were." She ran her fingers through his tousled hair, feeling the tension in his muscles begin to relax under her touch. "But you have to be careful. It's dangerous out there for most people – even powerful, distracted Jedi."

Anakin pouted slightly, like a reprimanded child. He looked so much like that little boy she met in the rusty, junk shop on Tatooine all those years ago. "I know, I know…" he sighed, "But sometimes… it's all just too much. The war, the council…" Her chest tightened as his voice grew small. "Just wanted to forget for a little while."

What little frustration she felt melted away. She knew how much he struggled, how much weight he carried on his shoulders as if the fate of the galaxy was his alone to decide. She had seen the darkness in his eyes, the doubt, the pain that haunted him. She leaned down, pressing a soft kiss to his forehead. "I understand, Ani. Please, I need you to talk to me when it gets too much. I love you. I know you. Please, let me help you."

He sighed, closing his eyes as if the very thought of sharing his burden exhausted him. "I know, Padmé. I just… I don't want you to see me like this. So weak."

"You're not weak," she whispered, her voice firm. "You're human. And I love you, Anakin Skywalker. Every part of you, even when you're a little… tipsy." She smiled and he laughed.

"Tipsy, huh?" he murmured, his voice already starting to fade as sleep began to claim him. "Guess that's better than being called all out drunk."

Padmé giggled, though something heavy settled in her limbs. "Far better," she whispered, brushing a kiss against his warm, flushed cheek. "Now sleep, my love. We'll talk in the morning."

She doubted he would remember these intoxicated confessions when he woke up, but he didn't need to. She would remember and she was going to find a way to help him before he was forced to yet another dangerous corner of the galaxy beyond her reach. Padmé carded her fingers through his soft, sand-coloured curls and shifted to get more comfortable. She wanted to sit here all night with him… her meetings tomorrow could be cancelled.

Anakin mumbled something incoherent. He nestled his head closer into her lap, his breathing evening out as he drifted into much-needed sleep. The dark-ringed bruises beneath his eyes told her he hadn't been getting enough of it recently. Maybe she should send something to Rex and the others, a quiet, anonymous gift to thank the troopers for taking Anakin out and letting him unwind for a little while. He obviously needed it.

Padmé sat there and watched him for a long while, her hand never stopping its stroking. She knew there were battles ahead for them both, out in the galaxy and the Senate they would have to fight separately, but for now, she was content to have him here, safe in her arms, even just for this one quiet night.