If Every HotDog Were Perfect

The irritant buzz of his phone reminded Steven that he was loved. It may have seemed something small, but to him at this moment? Monumental. Large hands enveloped the small device and lifted it from the hotel bedding. Connie's warm skin and smile met his eyes from the screen, and tension fled. Nights were the worst, therapy aside. His dreams hadn't yet understood that the War was over.

A hand ran against his jaw, the stubble there raking against soft skin, a reminder to shave. Groggy eyes checked the clock, well past six. He'd meant to be up sooner, but last night was a doozy. Sleeping in had been a kindness he had needed to give himself. Even if it put him a little behind.

The phone buzzed once more, drawing his dark eyes to the screen. Right. His thumb pressed against the screen, dragging to the right. The phone unlocked, and the real Connie appeared before him with a smile. A smile that faltered instantly.

"Steven? Are you still in bed? Are you okay?" Her vocals were twinged with urgency, no doubt worried he was slipping. He wasn't.

"I know how it looks. I'm okay, I promise. I had a long night. You know how it goes sometimes. I just needed to let myself rest a little longer. It's all okay. We still on for Brunch?"

Her relieved laughter was crystal clear, "You bet we are. How's the new place?"

Steven looked around at the baby pastel blue walls. He wasn't going to explain that the motel smelled of cigarettes and rot that made his stomach turn. There was no need to bring up the sounds that bled into his dreams from reality. So he replied, "We gotta scratch this one off of the list."

Code for this place wasn't as advertised. Connie did her diligence to truly research areas he was going into beforehand so things like this wouldn't happen. Both of them learned rather quickly- that some places just weren't what they appeared to be, and some reviews could be faked. Connie had wisened up on her research and Steven learned to complain less. He knew how long she worked to ensure Steven was going into a safe space. Having that code? It left out unnecessary details that would haunt Connie, but still maintain honesty.

"And… scratched!" Her proud vocals pulled Steven back to reality, and he couldn't help but smile. She always just… cared. It was nice that they had been able to work towards this point in their lives.

"Your first semester starts today… or was that tomorrow?" He hauled himself out of the warped bed, the box spring protesting as Steven stood. His body was more lean now that two years had passed. Not underweight but he'd lost all that comfortable baby fat during his travels. All thirty nine states had taken him a long time to comb through. Some places he'd stayed longer than intended, basking in the culture and the people. Other times the car broke down.

"Hm? Oh that's tomorrow. Have you decided what you're going to do?" This was the last stop and now Steven had to truly decide where he wanted to settle down. He was supposed to know by now but to be perfectly honest the choice felt overwhelming. He wanted to be near Connie. Near the Gems. Yet he didn't want to be stuck back at Beach City, stuck in what he was.

Did going back make him less? Did it mean all his hard work these past two years were null and void? It had been tugging on him for awhile but he had a few more days before his therapy session with Michael. Which meant this problem was his to solve, using the tools he learned.

The problem?

He hadn't managed to solve it yet. Moreover, if the nightmares were bad now, would they be worse back home?

Water splashed against his face, the fresh shave didn't feel as refreshing as he'd hoped, he'd waited too long to reply and Connie was calling to him.

"Steven. Steven!"

"Sorry Connie, I was having shaving thoughts. Haha-" His laughter was a bit elongated and awkward as he tried to refocus on the phone. Her small face warped in concern.
Alright fear, time to move aside for the plunge.

"I was thinking… maybe… going back home. I like the beach, it will be nice to visit the Gems in person, see my Dad." He faltered, gaze shifting from Connie's frown. When he checked back in for her reaction, she was smiling. Wait. What?

"Sure. I think that's a great idea. You didn't really like any of the jobs you were looking into, right?"

Steven rubbed the back of his head with a soft chuckle, "Well. I didn't mind the idea of touring. Dad offered to refer me to a manager. Sadie and Shep said I could be an opening act. I dunno, it seemed like a solid start." He blushed, "Since our talk about careers, I realized…I'm really behind on education. While we managed to get my G.E.D, I don't know if I could go into college like you. It's… not something I'm suited for." he admitted softly, a bit embarrassed.

Connie nodded with a bright light in her eyes, "That's perfectly fine Steven. Remember, we're a team. Your strengths and mine don't have to overlap. We complement one another."

A warmth met Steven's chest, a sigh and a smile blossoming over his own weary features. "I'm still thinking about it. I want to talk to Michael before finalizing the choice. I think… I need to figure some stuff out. So don't tell the Gems. I don't want them to be disappointed."

"Yeah Steven, this is your choice. You tell them when you're ready. See you at eleven?" Steven nodded, "Yeah I'll still make it to the diner by then I think. I just need a quick shower and change before hitting the road."

Connie blew a kiss with a light laugh, "See you later road rager! Be safe."

The call cut and Steven found himself looking at a black mirror.

"I love you Connie."