AN: Don't own it… Well the plot and Rohan but that's it…
Jou: Please review.
~ Choices ~
'I can't believe that Red-Headed bastard actually came in! Damn it! I knew he was in the shower, that was why I chose then to give Potter his first warning!' He paces the common room before hearing someone come in and quickly moves to his own room as First Years enter. He paces more swearing silently while trying to figure out how to scare that damned Potter away from his goal.
'There must be something that would piss Draco off…' A light went on in his head.
Something indeed. And it almost appeared that it might be true…. He gave an evil grin before changing into something more comfortable. He was, after all, going to give Draco another 'massage'…
I scared Weasley… At least he won't try and do anything to get my Harry. After all, he is MY boyfriend. And I have no intention at all of letting him go. None whatsoever. As I'm pondering this, Rohan enters and climbs on the bed, straddling my waist.
"Still stressed?" he coos at me as he works on massaging my chest.
"Slightly, but having people after your boyfriend will do that to you," I answer and he pouts.
"Honestly Draco, if you're talking about that Weasley character, I wouldn't mind getting him out of your lovely hair…" he whispers to me with an odd gleam in his eyes as he plays with my almost silver-blonde strands.
"Really?" He nods trailing his fingers to the right place on my neck and begins to work out the knot. "Do tell…." He grins and I know my eyes have their old gleam to them.
Pain… Horrid… PAIN! Oh god it hurts… I sit up in bed only to groan pitifully and curl into the fetal position. It's my abdomen that hurts so much it hurts to talk. I need a painkiller… Or seven… Again I try to get up. I brought a few packages of non-aspirin, those wonderful pills, with me from when I was at the Dursleys. I just have to remember where I put them…
This is much easier said than done, for the moment I gain my footing, I loose it. I land with a hard thump on the floor. I let out one sob as I try to get to my knees; one arm still wrapped solidly around my middle.
"Harry?" Shit I woke up Ron. "Holy FUCK! Harry!" He's by me in record time actually. "Harry, what's wrong?" I open my mouth but I can only cough. A shudder of pain wracks through my small frame. "Harry, please Harry, talk to me."
I look up at him, and he looks ready to cry when his eyes meet mine. I manage a whispered; "It hurts… Ronnie… Help me…" He nods and lifts me into his arms.
"I'm taking you to Pomfrey!" he tells me as he practically runs out of our dorm room.
I think I passed out before we got to the infirmary, because I wake up to Madame Pomfrey trying to tell Ron to leave and him refusing in a completely panicked voice.
"Ow…" I manage. Well that doesn't exactly sound like 'Ron' but it works because it sure got their attention.
"Harry!" he exclaims as Madame Pomfrey goes back to examining me. "What happened? Are you all right?"
"Mister Weasley will you please calm down… The last thing Mister Potter needs is you panicking him!" Madame Pomfrey says sternly.
I grasp Ron's hand and look up at him. I think he understands as he nods and just sits in a chair by my bed holding my hand as Madame Pomfrey finds out where it hurts most.
I should have brought him down here when I found him in the room with that guy from Divination. I was so STUPID! Now Harry's hurting and I can't do a thing about it… He looks at me with understanding eyes. He knows I'm blaming myself, and he wants me to stop. He seems to tell me it's not my fault. He smiles to me slightly from time to time when Pomfrey isn't at a spot that hurts more than the others.
"Mister Weasley…" I look up from Harry to her. She's giving me an odd look. "I must ask you to leave the room for a moment as I need to speak to Mister Potter privately. You may come back in when I'm done."
"Sure, Madame Pomfrey…" I say giving Harry a smile and a squeeze on the hand before going to stand outside the doors. I lean against the wall, tapping my fingers on my arm nervously.
Not good. That's all that can come out of this so far… "Mister Potter, I must ask, but over the summer, did you ingest ANY potions?" I think back to while I was with Draco for the summer.
"One for a headache," I tell her bewildered as to why this was relevant. She nods as she's riffling through bottles of potions and medicines. "Why?"
"I'm glad I caught it… It could have devastating results on your life Mister Potter and I'd not trust whoever gave you the potion so thoroughly."
I blanch. "Draco wouldn't hurt me!" I blurt out. She looks up at me with an odd look on her face.
"Mister Malfoy was the wizard responsible for the potion?"
"He said he'd make it for me when I had a headache… I stayed with him for a while. He left to fix it but I fell asleep and he moved up to my bedroom… I didn't take it for about an hour…"
"An hour…" she says. She's thinking…I can tell. "He might want to be careful who he has in his house with access to where ever he keeps his potions."
"What was it Madame Pomfrey?"
"Whatever was slipped into your headache potion was causing severe changes to your insides… Have you slept with anyone since?" I feel myself go a dark crimson.
"What's that got to do with anything?!" I squeak out.
"Everything Mister Potter whether you believe it or not…"
"I haven't…" I tell her honestly. Draco wanted to, but I refused.
"Then things aren't going to be complicated." Is all she tells me before shoving a spoonful of disgusting potion into my mouth and instructing me to swallow. I do, and start coughing. She goes and tells Ron to come back in.
"He's free to go back to the dorm, Mister Weasley. Try to keep him in balance. That potion I gave him will make him slightly dizzy, but should take away his pain and reverse the effects of that other potion. Ron nods rather lost as to what's going on but relieved I'll be fine. "And you Mister Potter, must come back the beginning of next week. I'll need to check on you."
Thankfully, no one saw us leave the infirmary. We got close to Gryffindor Tower before my legs kinda gave out on me. Ron, didn't say a word, just lifted me into his arms and walked back into the dormitory and up to our room before tucking me into bed. I was out like a light when my head hit the pillow.
Potion? That Harry'd drunk? What did Draco do to him? I wonder this as I watch Harry sleep. He'll get some more rest tonight but I sure won't. I keep getting flashes of Harry lying there on the floor in so much pain. I felt so helpless… Harry looks so peaceful and I wish I could bottle up that peace and innocence that covers his face and give it back to him whenever something like fear or pain mares his features.
I walk over to my bed and pick up the picture of my family and take the back off and pull out my blade. I roll up my sleeve before sinking the silver metal into flesh again, forming an 'x' with the other cut. I place a bandage over it and hide the blade again before walking over and watching Harry sleep.
I watch as the Gryffindors pile down the stairs. Harry's group is much slower today. Harry seems a bit paler than usual and Weasley looks like he didn't sleep last night. Needless to say I'm proud if it was because of me. Rohan smiles to me as he passes me to go to breakfast with his flirting smile.
"Draco," Harry smiles to me and walks into my waiting arms. "Good morning." He gives me a quick chaste kiss.
"Good morning love… What's wrong? You're pale…"
"I'm all right," he tells me. His eyes though, are dark, as if hiding something.
"Promise me that you'll tell me if anything is wrong, Harry," I whisper to him. Hermione and Ginny are out of earshot but I'm not sure about the Weasley boy who's leaning against a near wall who's rubbing his eyes.
"Of course, Draco…" Harry smiles to me with his innocent look. I smile back and give him another hug, kissing a part of his neck that makes him shiver, before sending him off to breakfast with his friends. Ron looks back to me and I glare at him. He turns back around and ignores the look Harry gives him. He looks to me and I smile. He turns around looking confused.
I follow in and join Rohan at the table.
Ron looks like death warmed over. He must have stayed up the rest of the night watching over me.
"Ron… Maybe you should go and get some sleep…" I tell him as we sit down. "You don't look so good."
"No, we have potions today, Harry… I have to be there…" I nod in understanding. He smiles to me and we all have breakfast as normal. We head out of the hall, with a yawning Ron and head down for potions.
Ron, amazingly, stayed awake and alert enough through-out potions that he didn't cause a scene, or anything else… Amazingly. I felt as though Draco was watching me the whole time but I ignored it.
I'm not sure what to think… Madame Pomfrey didn't really tell me what would happen if the potion hadn't been counter-acted but I know it would have been pretty ugly. I just hope that with that fixed, I'll go back to normal.
I'm snapped out of my thoughts when Ron nudges me as we walk down the hall. My eyes snap open as I almost run into a statue. "Oh.." is all I manage to say.
"And you're telling ME I'm tired," Ron chuckles.
"Yeah, I'm a little out of it," I confess. No one else is around to hear.
"That stuff Pomfrey gave you…"
"Probably… That was a lot of pain to erase…" Ron nods. "I'm going to visit Professor Lupin… I'll see you later…" Ron nods. He knows how glad I am that Remus is back. Since Sirius is well… Gone… I've become very attached to the werewolf. However, just because Sirius is gone, doesn't mean he's not coming back… I refuse to believe that he's completely gone. I never will until you can prove it to me beyond the shadow of the doubt.
Arriving at Lupin's office I knock and he opens the door before all but hauling me inside. He's not thrilled that I'm dating Draco- Sirius wouldn't be either, he says- but he tolerates it.
"Hello Remus," I say quietly as he motions to a seat.
"I honestly expected a sooner visit Harry…" he says sitting on his desk. "I talked with Poppy… She says Ron had to carry you into the infirmary last night…"
"I was a little sick, that I admit, Remus but she gave me a potion and I'm feeling a lot better… I'm still suffering a bit of anxiety but after what happened I can't be blamed!" I offer up in my defense.
"You were passed out and she barely knew what was going on herself as Ron was in complete hysterics, Harry!" He's giving me a look. I drop my gaze to my hands in my lap. "I don't mean to sound mean or anything Harry but I'm worried about you, you're-"
"In my care now that Sirius is unable to fulfill the job," I finish an odd tone to my voice.
"Poppy, that is, Madame Pomfrey said she didn't tell you the effects of the potion that you were slipped…" I look up at Remus and shake my head.
"She didn't tell me. Only said they'd be really bad for me or something… It was messing with my insides she said." Remus sighs, running his hands through his hair.
"This is true… Hopefully, Poppy caught it soon enough…" I look at him questioningly.
"Are you going to tell me, or let me suffer?"
"Harry, that potion could allow you, as a male, to get pregnant… That's why we're a bit worried."
"I don't feel so good," I manage to get out.
Before I know it, Remus has me in a bathroom (a small one with just a toilet and a sink, probably one off all teachers' offices) and I'm emptying the contents of my stomach. Remus rubs my back soothingly whispering how sorry he is and how he wishes he could change things and how he knew he wasn't cut out for trying to raise a child. When I finish and have released more than enough acid to make my throat raw, and have downed several glasses of water and brushed my teeth (thanks to Remus' conjuring), I turn to look at him.
"Remus… You are cut out for raising me… You're doing a fine job of it… I just…" He nods placing hands on my shoulders.
"I know Harry, but every time something goes wrong, I will probably blame myself," he tells me with a smirk. I smile to him.
"You don't have to…"
"You're right… The Sirius and James response would probably be either 'it never happened, what are you talking about' or 'It was Snivellus, Professor! I swear!' But seeing as how it's just this old wolf-"
"You're not an old wolf yet Uncle Remus…" For a moment, I didn't hear my words and couldn't fathom why Remus' face went from confusion, to utter surprise, to happiness so fast. When it hits me I blush before he hugs me.
"I'm happy you consider me family Harry…" I look up at him with a serious look in my eye.
"You ARE my family."
I have Harry Potter on my brain, on my brain… ALL THE TIME! I'm lying on my bed, which, by the way, still smells of Harry's vanilla essence. Blissful sigh inserted here, if I weren't so busy cursing my damn homework. And I would literally be cursing it but it is potions homework and something tells me that Professor Snape wouldn't find it as amusing as I do… I'm guessing we're reaching the four hour mark that I haven't seen Harry. Thank god it's a Friday. I'm going to make him stay in bed till a little later than normal. He needs some more sleep.
And I'm rambling to myself. I'm humming some muggle song. Hermione had brought her radio over this summer and I heard this song by some guy…. He had 'Keith' in his name… I shrug. Anyway he's singing to this girl who is his friend, but his friend is upset because her boyfriend dumped her. And the thing is, he is in love with her and trying to explain it to her. Something about 'ain't worth missing' or something I just remember the notes and am humming it.
I'm beginning to wonder about Harry so I reach into his trunk –no big we do it all the time- and pull out the Marauder's Map. I quickly mutter the charm and saw Harry was still sitting in Lupin's office. It made me sigh for some reason, like I felt neglected or something. Or that, it proved something was wrong with Harry… That is, until I noticed another dot near them. R. Luhrmann. It seemed to be looming and waiting for Harry to leave. I wanted to dash out and warn Harry, but it's not like I could so I waited and prayed I was doing the right thing.
Some time later I look back at the map. We're working on the fifth hour and Harry's dot is on the move. And, so is R. Luhrmann, right behind Harry but it almost seems that Harry doesn't know he's there. Harry's about a five minute run from the dormitory. And seeing as how he's been gone for five hours, I'm 'going to find him'. I pull my robes on over my jeans and t-shirt before exiting the room and the dormitory. I walk briskly till I hear Harry's feet.
"Harry?" I contour my voice to normal. He smiles to me as I round the corner.
"Ron! What are you doing?"
"You've been gone for about five hours! Honestly, what were you and Lupin talking about?"
"I wasn't there the whole time," Harry expresses stopping beside me. I notice now how pale he's looking again.
"Yeah… Lupin said I should head to bed. Said I'm starting to look sickly…" he whispers to me. I sling an arm around his shoulder in a friendly fashion. He blinks but doesn't protest.
"So, Harry, do you think you might be up to staying awake long enough to help me with that cursed Potions assignment?" I ask. Harry blinks more and gives me a look. I give him a look back.
"I suppose I could," he says in low tones. "But it will cost you."
"What?" I ask arching an eyebrow.
"I want some of that candy stash of yours," he says with a chuckle. I laugh with him before we reach the portrait and I whisper the password to the fat lady. She lets us in but swings shut right behind me enough to make me yelp like an injured pup, and Harry just has to point that out. "What's going on Ron?" he asks me quietly. I grab his hand and pull him towards the common room. I let it go as I enter and there are a few people there, so we silently head into our room and the moment he shuts the door behind him he's already opened his mouth to ask again.
"He was following you Harry." He stops and looks at me.
"Who do you think?" I ask him in a hiss as he blinks and then his eyes become scared.
"You came to find me because…."
"I happened to check the map and I was damn near panicked! Last time he was near you, it looked like he was going to use a forbidden on you!" I tell him and he pales more. I stop myself. "I'm sorry, I just got really worried Harry… I can't let some prick attack my best friend." Harry looks up at me and before I can register the look on his face he's locked his arms around my middle and is crying silently. I wrap one arm around his waist the other taking his glasses and directing him towards his bed. I set them down within reach before lifting him onto the bed. I climb in behind him and let him cling to me as more tears stream down his face. He looks up at me and sniffles as I hold him.
It hits me as he looks up at me with his wide, wet emerald eyes.
I don't give a fucking shit what Draco says. I can get as close to Harry as he allows me. And he's the one looking for comfort in me, not in Draco, in me. Me, his dorky side-kickish best friend…that is madly in love with him. He blinks and touches my face.
"Do you think Draco would hurt me?" The question takes me by surprise and I know why Harry has a hand on my face. He might not see well, but he sure as hell can feel my muscles twitch as I try not to look so shocked.
"Do you?! I need an answer Ron and you're one of the three people I trust to give it to me, but the only one I have the courage to ask… but the one I fear the answer from the most, because I know you'll be honest with me…" He says sternly and almost harshly.
"I don't know, Harry. Part of me says he'd not hesitate. Another says you're talking rubbish, because everyone knows he's trying to figure out how to ask and the ONLY thing he needs is the ring. Another part is asking what you ever saw in him because I honestly still see the same shit that's harassed us for about four and a half years…. And another part says whichever answer would make you happy. I'm confused in all honesty." He nods slowly.
"He threatened you, didn't he?" he asks laying his head on my chest above my heart.
"Many times, Harry, I'm a Weasley and you know his-"
"When he pulled you aside, before he attacked me." I sigh.
"It was nothing Harry."
"My boyfriend is threatening my best friend and you tell me its nothing?!" Harry seethes sitting up straight, his tears not stopping. "What are you still keeping from me Ron?"
"Harry, please…" Before I get anymore out his eyes go wide and he clutches at my arm with one hand.
"Ron…" he gasps out my name as if he's in pain. His other arm wraps around his abdomen again.
"Shit Harry, do you need me to help you to the infirmary?"
"Draco will see…" he whispers.
"Fuck Draco Harry! I'm more concerned about your health!" I snap going to pick him up.
"I can't go Ron…" I look at him dumbfounded. "You don't understand, hell, I barely understand. But Uncle Remus hasn't lied to me before…" It comes clear in my mind.
"That potion! What was it to do Harry?"
"Ron… I want to go to Pomfrey I really do but-"
"What. Was. The. Potion. To. Do?" I state each word clearly and he looks away from me to his stomach area, both hands over it. "Shit." When did I start cussing like a sailor? Oh hell. He's biting his lip.
"Fine, then I'm getting Lupin," I say jumping off the bed and covering Harry. "Don't go too far…" I tell him. I conjure up a bucket incase he becomes ill and run out of the dormitory at high speeds. I'm glad that it's not near a full moon.
I knock loudly on Professor Lupin's door. He opens it, obviously expecting a teacher as he jumps slightly to see me.
"Weasly… Ron, you know it's past curfew…" he starts.
"Something's wrong with Harry… He's in pain but he won't let me get Pomfrey… I didn't know what else to do but come get you…" I blurt out. He blinks and grabs something before nodding to me to show him the way. We run through the halls. I hadn't noticed it was THAT late… The common room in empty and I lead him into my and Harry's room. He's by Harry immediately, whispering to him and Harry whispering back. I stand by the door. I feel so numb… I need another cut….
I've never seen Ron run so fast in all our years of dodging things. He's back with Remus and I've kept the meager contents of my stomach in my stomach. Remus keeps asking me when the pain started and if I could think clearly and whom I thought was responsible.
I tremble as I tell him what he wants to hear, except who did it to me, because I honestly don't know. Well, apparently, being Remus, he talked Madame Pomfrey into giving him the potion and demands I take not a spoonful but as big of a swig as I can manage as he sends Ron for a glass of water which he's back with rather quickly. Ron looks really bad… I can't believe I'm putting him through this… I take the swig, nearly choke to death (well maybe not THAT but still its pretty horrid stuff I tell you!) I gulp down the water and thank both Remus and Ron. Ronnie just nods to me and watches quietly. Remus on the other hand keeps asking questions and I keep answering. He says something to Ron but the dizziness I was suddenly hit with drowned out what he said. Ron disappears from the room and I try to sit up but whimper as it hurts greatly.
"Harry, I need an honest answer from you here and now…"
"What is it, Uncle Remus?" I ask him blinking up at him.
"Ron's much closer to than a good friend, you've not lain with him have you?" I feel anger boiling.
"I'm practically engaged to Draco," I grind out. He nods.
"That doesn't answer my question."
"I've not done a thing with him," I tell him with a sigh of defeat. "He's held me some nights when I'm too stressed. He promised to watch out for me…"
"Don't blame this on Ronnie," I say interrupting him. He blinks at the venom in my voice before smiling.
"Ronnie?" I blush and ask him not to say anything as I'd promised to keep it a secret nickname. "Fine, I'll not speak of it… Now, honestly Harry. If you ingested the potion when we think you did, have you lain with someone since?"
"No… Not even Draco, as you look about to ask. I refused…" He doesn't ask if I'm keeping my virginity. I owled him the moment I'd lost it in a panic. He wrote back displeased but said that if I was happy, he was perfectly happy…
"And what did he say?"
"We had all the time in the world… He had no intentions of letting me go anytime soon…"
"I don't know…" I look away. "What happens if I got the potion before… before we thought and I'd lainwithDraco…" I slur the words together in my rush.
"Hopefully, we've stopped the process… Pomfrey will have to check in the morning…" I look up at him scared.
"I shall detain Mister Malfoy if needed… I need to talk to him about his grades anyway…" Remus says with a wink. He stands and bids me goodnight. I smile like a child (I can tell that sometimes) as his rough beard grazes over my forehead as he lays a kiss there.
"Good night Uncle Remus…" I whisper to him. He sends Ron back in as he leaves. I sit up though it's painful.
"Harry… you're not, mad at me are you? I-"
"Ronnie." He looks at me. "Get in the bed." He blinks at me owlishly before slowly crawling in behind me and pulling me against him. "I want to talk… Try and sort things out…"
"I'm more than willing to listen," he whispers in my ear. I lean back against his chest and sigh.
I unfurl my latest rash of woes upon him with a guilt building. Ron stops all guilt as he starts to compliment me in response to my self-doubts.
"Are you mad at me for getting Lupin?" he asks after I've quieted down.
"No." It's an honest answer. "But next time, if I were you," I say as he looks down at me. "I'd have still dragged my ass to Pomfrey…" He grins and holds me tighter.
"You scared me shitless Potter…" is his only response. I grin and look up at him.
"Wanna see if I can do it again?" He pales and stares at me before I giggle and he shakes his head. "I'm tired…" He lays us down, I'm still snuggled into him. "What if someone sees us like this?" I ask suddenly.
"I locked to door. You need to sleep in anyway…" I look at him. His eyes are closed and his face is relaxed if not content as he holds me. I love you Ron Weasley… How, I don't know…. But since you intrigue me so, I'll be damned sure I find out…